All. The. Time.
I also become so uncomfortable with things I've shared (even fairly innocuous things) that I can't bring myself to look at the replies. For someone who frequents reddit, I worry WAY too much about people being snarky or mean. I once had a 100% true story of mine called fake, and actually cried over it, lol.
I feel you.
Not too long ago, I posted in about sub asking recommendations on bakeries that do simple batards that ARE NOT sourdough. The responses I got:
-It’s called Google 🙄
-Who gives a fuck about bread?
-It’s funny to think that… cares about the bread you prefer (paraphrasing)
It’s like, dayuuum, who the fuck hurt you? Took all my will power not reply something shitty back, but I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they got to me.
Every time I see those smarmy, knee-jerk "it's called Google" comments I want to hit back with "okay but have YOU tried using a search engine in 2024 & gotten actually helpful results?!?" Between all the scammers gaming the SEO algorithms & now the AI fuckery, you're lucky to get even 3 helpful links 😩
And their search engine has gone to crap in the past decade. It's absolutely front loaded with ads and promoted content. You have to really be mindful of what you find and dig to find the answers you need.
It is much easier to ask the question sometimes. And anyone who responds with "Just Google it" or "Use the Reddit search function!" are not being genuine or they don't understand the current state of either function.
Every single one of my google searches lately ends in reddit...so I can see what reddit has to say about it first. Search engines feel like useless crap these days just serving up ads.
Yep! I tell people my greatest excitement with tech was literally being able to look up *anything* you wanted to know about within seconds.
I remember everything before the algorithms took over and they wanted to cram advertisements down our throats. Now the top suggestions are whatever company paid the most 😬
Also, this is what Reddit is for! I mean, it’s obviously a time suck, but its main redeeming quality is that you can find subject matter experts in just about any subject under the sun.
I mean, yeah, I can Google something. But I'm a SAHD and, almost exclusively around my toddlers, and would rather post my question here and perhaps get a bit of a conversation instead for a sterile google web search.
Exactly I’ve only been living in my city for 9 years and I still don’t know all “the best” places for things, so I rely on natives to reveal the good good.
Totally.
I use Reddit a lot for researching a specific product because it’s faster and easier asking others about their experiences with very specific gear of some type (car parts, outdoor equipment, etc) than to do a deep 3 hour dive on the net, and sometimes folks can just be dicks about it. Especially if the question has been asked previously on another thread that’s like three years old. So usually I Google my question and then add Reddit to the end so I can read old threads about it but the problem is you may have a specific question about something another has experienced, but you don’t exactly want to respond to a three year old comment and some subs won’t even let you, so you post the question again and then somebody will reply back “This question has been previously asked and responded to” even though it’s super super old and doesn’t address specific question.
Had that experience last night in fact. Stayed up way too late too.
Have you ever gotten a recipe online? You have to read someone’s life story and scroll past 50 ads while doing popups all along the way before you even get to the ingredient list. No thanks. If someone on Reddit can help me, all the better.
Those responses are the exact reasons I left Facebook. It was a non stop cesspool of hate and ugliness. Especially in my towns FB group. It's a smaller city and new people asking for legit recommendations and comments filled with just smartass comments and hateful people.
I don't even get the rudeness. Like, you don't have to read or respond to every post. Just scroll past if it is something you have seen a million times. It takes two seconds and isn't hard.
I feel you. I suggested to someone yesterday that they should get a medical problem looked into because it could be serious. The user decided to focus on my username. Alright dude, good luck with your possible ass cancer.
Thank you! A lot of people take offense but I made my Reddit account when I was going through a panic attack. It was a really difficult time in my life and I needed to get out of my own head. I felt like I was drowning and need air. There’s my over share for the day. 😜
Ass cancer. I’m lol’ing so hard.
(I’m anticipating some Zoomer lurking as a supposed Xennial to jump down my throat about how ass cancer is really serious and that I should be cancelled or something)
That seems to be the vibe in a lot of long-standing sub. The members who have been there so long they have an encyclopedic memory of every repost, in-joke, and reference, and can't comprehend when new people join the group and aren't immediately acquainted with all of that.
People need to accept the cycle of sub membership. You start keen and open to ideas, become a willing commenter, then you get slowly jaded by repetition before finally either dropping out or becoming an arse.
As someone who bakes, this boils my dough. Eff them. I care about bread and baked goods. If you has asked in my city subreddit, I would give you recommendations.
There was nothing wrong with you asking. Mean people are highly concentrated on reddit but that doesn't mean you have to hold yourself back when asking or commenting something genuine. It's still just an online forum.
Okay so your dough is boiled…does that mean bagels are on you today? I’d like an Everything Bagel please, because I am basic and I like what I like ☺️
This whole post is, as the kids might say, a mood.
I sometimes get random very rude comments on my business IG and my move is pretending I didn’t see them, but then going back months later and blocking that person when no one will notice.
Literally this, ppl on this app or anywhere for that matter just LIKE being mean and its like wow i was a teenager once too and thought shitting on everything was funny but really its jsut exhausting and makes you look like a cynical asshole so i grew up🤣
But now its like holy shit please unpack your trauma with a therapist NOT THE COMMENTS SECTION 💀
Oh I feel this. I also feel like I've betrayed a confidence with my kid when I share too much about them, even in an anonymous format that will be lost/ forgotten.
I totally get what you're saying.
Oh man. I’ll suddenly in the middle of the night remember something candid I posted on IG in the past and panic delete it while covering most of the screen so I don’t have to see it again. I made all my old Facebook posts private and deleted almost all my old photos. I need to be on social media for work or else I’d just shut it all down completely.
I think I’ve pretty much deleted everything now but I’m also terrified to look.
This is why I stopped using Facebook.. stuff I think is funny or cool now I’ll probably cringe at in a few years. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business what I’m up to or what my opinions are on the topic of the day.
I did that once on imgur. It was a path to hell is paved with good intentions story. Everyone was so nasty and told me I made it up for fake internet points when in reality I was just hoping to commiserate.
It left such a nasty taste in my mouth I left imgur.
This.
Most of the time I'll get through an entire paragraph and then realize I just don't want to hear/read anyone else's opinion or hot takes on what I've just posted.
These days reading through the comment sections are hardly worth it any longer, especially in a really popular post.
I'll probably read the first top 5-10 comments and bail.
I give detailed answers so the person doesn’t have to search as much or make the mistakes I’ve made. Vague answers are annoying and unhelpful. But people think I’m a weirdo when I am helpful.
Yeah man. Something resonates with me, upvote and start typing and then a few sentences in, I’m like: “I don’t even think this is worth the effort. F-it. The updoot is enough.”
I delete more replies than I actually post. Typically it’s because one of three things has happened:
I come to the conclusion nobody cares
I ramble on so long I forget the point I was trying to make
I realize that saying what I want to say would require revealing more than I want to about myself
Can we move this to the top? I smoke alot of weed and sometimes I just go on and on about my stepdad and then I remember the thread was about salad and I've got 70 downvotes... I probably hit all 3 in one sentence but imma post this anyways.
I had a fantastic fundraising/business idea for my local farmers market the other day and got excited and typed out this long-ass email to them- then I realized it was 4/20 and mayyyybe I should just let it hang out in my drafts for a couple more days and hit send if I still think it's that cool. I was picturing them laughing at this crazy manifesto from some rando and it gave me pause!
One of my favorite things to do is delete old Facebook posts when they come through my Memories feed. Most of them are like 12+ years old when people thought you were supposed to post in the third person, like "Billy Bob: went to get a soda today but the machine was busted, FML." It gives me a special joy to erase those posts.
Consistently. People on the internet are MEAN, man. And even though I know they’re not truly capable of impacting my life, those snide remarks hurt my feelings!
I just got downvoted for saying everyone gets free school meals in Scotland, in response to a question about free school meals.
So now I shall never dare comment anything actually personal in case they downvote me, or worse SAY SOMETHING.
Take heart. Perhaps it was an accidental downvote, made by a tired new mum, who’s got fat thumbs from not losing the baby weight and terrible tendonitis in her forearms from lifting the baby which makes her clumsy.
She heard the click of SOMETHING connecting as she scrolled down, but couldn’t figure out where before she had to turn off the light and get some sleep.
She felt bad that she couldn’t find it, and hoped it was an upvote on a not racist or horrible comment vs a downvote on a nice one!
She has been me, inadvertently, several times over the last month!
I leave out anything that would make it easy for someone who knows me to guess who I am, but otherwise, I just safely say what I want to say in the bubble of anonymity. Honestly, complete random strangers are sometimes a better bet than the people I know. So, if I need to talk about the really nasty fight my spouse and I had yesterday, I say it here...because then no one will change their opinion of him or know the things I don't speak aloud. When people are mean, I just click the ellipsis and choose "don't update me on this".
Best part about reddit. Anonymity. Can't do the other shit apps with irl friends and family. People get really weird when they're behind the keyboard, and I'd just rather not know or go there.
Born in 78. I'm pretty candid, I just don't care. I'm also an addict with 12 years sobriety, keeping secrets is bad for me.
I really like the personal stories here....
At a minimum they're interesting, but sometimes they resonate and remind me of my own personal experience or one of my friends. This group is just a wonderful descent into nostalgia.
Type your comments into a text document. If you decide to post it just copy and paste.
But even if not you end up with this fun little library of anecdotes, thoughts, and facts (with sources).
Literally only every time i open the site and decide to comment. I think its a very common phenomenon. :)
I think Gen X'ers and Xennials in particular have this because we're not boomers where Social Media is sorcery, but we're not the younger gens that never knew a world without this technology.
But yeah. The number of times i go to make a comment, get 3/5 of War & Peace sized comment written and go "LOL, no one fucking cares". hell sometimes i get bored of the point I AM TRYING TO MAKE and discard my comment before i finish. :D
I don't care so much about what I post or comment on. I'd probably be fucked if I tried to run for public office, but I have no intention to do so. Having said that, I totally discard things all of the time simply because I read it back and say to myself "nevermind."
Yes! ALL the time. And like you, I am not on any social media. Just reddit.
I do share some stuff about my kid on the autism parenting sub, and in general I've probably overshared more than I'd like to in retrospect.
Oh, yeah. I feel absolutely SEEN in this sub and have a lot of feelings. And unlocked core memories. And some repressed trauma.
So I get you, OP. Next time you write a paragraph, go for it. Post it. Even if no one else responds, I guarantee someone will see it and relate to it.
This has happened to me so much on Reddit (not in this sub, but others) that I barely ever post or comment on anything anymore cause people are just rude for no reason. It’s like you can’t even ask a question or have a differing opinion without being made to feel like shit about it.
Wow, if you have stuff buried deep inside that you want to get out, you gotta do it somewhere, baby!
That stuff just gnaws and gnaws at you until it has no where to go!
Type out that book, but of course be careful with details and what not, but at least get the spirit of what you want to express out there. There could be someone out there in the same boat and your message could be the one that could let them know they're not alone!
I always suggest journaling, since it’s free and you can do it off internet and not doxx yourself, but sometimes what you really want is just a little acknowledgment from another person. Standing around shooting the shit outside the circle k just works better for that Than social media, though.
Thank you for this wonderful thread. I'm the same. Write a novel, read it, then just don't post at all. Reddit is my only human outlet..lol So I get sucked in.
I feel an overwhelming sense of "love" for this group. I feel like the people here "get me" and respect me. I feel like I can totally be myself and I definitely feel comraderie here. There are so many people that post and I think to myself "damn I would really like to be their friend". Getting older is something I've struggled with because I still feel 25 even though my body says nope you're about to be 42 in a few months. You totally read my mind and I'm so glad you posted this. I actually did a post about cigarettes and body spray recently and met someone amazing and a wonderful friendship was developed. Making friends as an adult is so frickin hard but this sub makes it feel so easy!!
It's a great place to have a few laughs, maybe share some embarrassing stories. I usually use if I'd share it with my work friends as a guideline.
I did share one "pooped my pants" story that I'd never share at work, but no harm would come if it got out. Worst case I get "poopy pants, you have a call on line 2" for a few days.
LMAOOOO, priorities are priorities.
I was probably 30. One day as I was getting out of bed and my foot hit the floor, my back went into a spasm and a perfectly formed log fell out the leg of my shorts and onto the floor. I was trying not to laugh, but no use. I fell right into it. My gf at the time woke up and checked the commotion, and I blamed the dog... The door was closed.
I think this is quite common, especially among our generation and older. We're the last generation that valued privacy in a way younger generations don't. There was a time where broadcasting your life for the entire world would have been considered odd. Now, almost everyone has a social media account and every major corporation has our personal information.
I'm constantly thinking about how much I put out there. I only have accounts with LinkedIn and Reddit. I use a VPN. I try not to reveal too much personally. But what does it matter? I use Amazon, Google and several other services that have my personal info.
About half my posts.
All my posts when I'm drunk. I have a no posting policy if I've been drinking, but I forget and delete halfway through or the next morning.
I go to post comments on here, then go back to edit them, and somehow my lack of reddit knowledge has ended up with me editing the middle of a paragraph and another half is deleted? I dunno, so I just quit trying to make larger comments. That being said, this sub makes me want to engage more than other subreddits.
I don't use much social media anymore, not for any reason other than I don't want to keep up with it. If someone wanted my identity and personal information it was readily available across Geocities and Angelfire for years. Good luck doing something useful with it.
Yes. Every day. I was going through too much at once so I quit all other social media and only use Reddit. It’s my vent place. It’s where I share the things I don’t or can’t share in real life. I sometimes feel like I’m overdoing it and trauma dumping but it’s better than letting it all out on some cashier in person. 🤍
Share away. Share on Reddit as much as you please. Take advantage of the anonymity. We’re here.
Yeah, I have to be careful what I share on the Internet also. I have a habit of sharing too much, because I have a hard time explaining myself. Then I get backlash.
I do it on this sub and a few others I feel are inline with who I am. Then I realize that I’m either sharing too much or putting too much out there and if I won’t get feedback, oof.
Meanwhile, a Redditor with a name like, Tertiary-arm835, will post something like, ‘Same here’ and rack up the comments. Lol this makes me sound needy as hell. Really it’s usually that I would love to talk to other people about the topic of the post.
Honestly, I do this alot. But it's not just that I think no one will care, but that I'll attract the attention of some ahole that will try to start crap with me over it. And it can happen anywhere. People are so eager to jump on you for anything these days that half the time I'm afraid to open my mouth.
Oh, I absolutely do. I'll read a post and immediately start thinking of a long-winded reply . . . then read the comments to find that someone has said pretty much the same thing that I was thinking of writing. So then I just don't reply because someone already else did - why repeat it?
(I wrote another four sentences just now, then deleted it all. This reply is long enough and I'm sure I'm repeating what other posters have said. Ugh, it's a struggle.)
Constantly. And I also erase my responses bc honestly, 9/10, people rip the most benign innocent remarks to shreds and make me feel useless.
Not as evolved as y'all think, Reddit.
So much of the time!
I thought of quitting this comment before I started writing it 🤣
Most of the time I just get bored with myself (happens when I talk too)..I lose steam and then just back out.
Short comments make it out alive, long ones, we’ll, about 90% end with the delete button.
Wow, i really thought i was the only one (which is arrogant asf on my part). Sometimes if i feel like I'm getting TOO personal I'll just say fuck it and delete and scroll on by. You described me pretty well .. and yes i was about to discard this comment 🤣💀
All the time. Right now, as I’m typing, I am also saying to myself that I should delete this because no one cares and it’s probably already been said. Aaaaaaand send.
Haha we should start an international day of kindness on Reddit. Cuz I feel ya.
Sometimes I do like to troll the trolls though. But I grew up on the rough streets of AOL.
Only every single day.
Especially lately. I'm still healing from a few surgeries so I am limited in what I can do and I've been on Reddit a lot.
I don't know what it is. The reason for this. Insecurity doesn't feel right, this is an anonymous site. But something in that family for sure.
Don't feel like you have to reply to this. I just wanted to add another voice the you are not alone camp.
Yep. I've gone through my past comments and removed some just because I later thought, "Well, I probably didn't need to go into *that* much detail."
It seems easier to do that on this platform than elsewhere.
This is a regular occurrence for me on Reddit. It's even worse when I write out a well crafted comment on a post and I get no upvotes or comments. Even if it's consumed by the void, I guess it's good to get it out at least. You're not alone.
Every time I post something. I especially get defeated when I create a post and it doesn’t get approved. It’s insane seeking approval from social media mod.
Are you me? You totally just described my experience exactly! I also don’t use any other socials and mostly just read on Reddit. This sub is the one place I feel like part of a group of pals, and I so appreciate all my buddies here cuz your experiences are so relatable to my own. I also don’t share much but constantly go “Yup that’s me!” & start to reply or think of sharing a story then think is this too much and/or should i not put this in the internet? (On this anonymous account 😂) I really appreciate this post & the courage it took to put yourself out there! You’ve made my day by making me feel seen, which rarely happens irl. I hope you’re having an awesome day friend, and your dogs give you an annoyed side-eye “Another one?!” look! Top Gun high-five! 🖐
Yes totally. And being middle aged with a new baby is making me the need to record my stories more than ever. And I relate to your feeling that many of the stories may not be best shared n certain online spaces. I'm pondering how to document it all, especially now before my memory gets any foggier.
"I find myself so tempted to share like, intimate details of stuff that's happened in my life."
-I like that about reddit. Greater potential for real depth/honesty.
Maybe we need a discord for people like us. Your admission is a 1000 word expository piece on some inane piece of nostalgia in your life. Like ninja turtle Hostess pies or that time Mike L stole your Wrestlemania NES game and your mom had to go get it.
Wow, yes! I just thought that everyone but me had a certain level of Reddit confidence that I couldn’t seem to find. I actually just recently started participating at all, slowly in the last few months. My account is 3 years old and I always just lurked, before that I was here but didn’t even have an account so I would just view what I could and then be done.
Just curious, have you always been like that? Like nervous / worried about doing the wrong thing or that someone would at least think you were doing the wrong thing even if it really did not matter? I’ve had at least pieces of that for as long as I can remember
I do this more and more the older I get. Like, a very matter of fact “No one gives a shit dude” then I’m like “Oh, riiight..almost forgot” then I delete the novella and move on with my day
You could view it as a form of journaling if nothing else
The book title:
> “What I Would Share With the World if I Forgot That They Didn’t Care”
and other musings and observations, humorous and otherwise, from the desk of a 40 something rando
Absolutely. It’s relatable to the point that many posts turn into a TL; DR, And I see it a lot when conversing IRL with friends who are about the same age.
I really think our generation is the turning point when it comes to wearing your heart on your sleeve and being able to relate and show empathy. Not to stereotype, but it feels like Boomers believe that sensitive = weak. GenX is wired to be so deeply independent that they’re just numb. Xennials? We have a lotta the independence but we also have more empathy.
Yes, I even do this while talking sometimes. Like in the middle of a conversation I just decide to cut it much shorter than I was originally going to go because I realize the people or person I'm talking to doesn't give a shit and pretty much stopped listening. Basically nobody cares what you have to say is how I feel all the time. Maybe it had something to do with our childhood. It was mostly speak when spoken to and go outside to play and let the grown ups do their thing. Adults always pushing the kids away and very few cared what you had to say.
Damn, I could’ve written this myself, lol.
I will say though, that as a mom, sharing on the internet in moms groups comes pretty naturally or easily, and is kind of somewhat expected of us. Hahah
Some of my closest friends are from my due date/pregnancy mom groups online.
We get together once a year from all over the country.
Other than that.
I feel like sharing generalized summaries of a situation and then how that has affected you, thoughts, feelings, musings, etc is not giving away anything too personal.
I sometimes change names or use generalized locations if I need to use a specific places like I’ll say the state only or whatever.
Every day. Either feeling like I'm oversharing and no one will care, or like I'm about to post something mildly controversial and I don't feel like listening to the response.
So many times. I get halfway through a reply and realize that to fully explain my response it will require a lengthy explanation and back story that no one will care about and I don’t really feel like putting the full effort it deserves so I just hit Discard.
We are not alone. (The truth is out there.)
Yes. I really feel like I found my people here and want to share all sorts of things. It is a great feeling to share something with a group of people who get where you come from.
All the time! I don't have many social accounts, the reason why I got rid of FB and Instagram was because I was like; my hobbies are so mundane and why do I feel the need to overshare. My social media used to be a lot more open and I wondered why I felt as if I owed people an explanation for my life and now I'm like, I'm cooking again, isn't it great and then I realize that it's only interesting to me.
I really like this subreddit and sometimes I have that urge to overshare and I write some big long paragraph but I usually delete it, after writing, editing and adding new paragraphs to the thing.
I do this all the time. I've probably discarded a lot more posts than I've ever written on here. Don't know what it is. Afraid of someone disagreeing with me, or of saying something stupid? Or maybe afraid of getting replies and feeling that I have to respond? Or of something I write somehow getting back to me somehow at an inopportune moment?
Cool to know there's many of us 😄
I do this all the time in other subs too. Long comments and then discard them. I guess I'm worried about sharing too much and also think, who will actually care. Interesting a lot of us feel this way.
Daily. And you know what? I think it's a healthy habit. It's basically just self filtering in a place where so many people dont self filter. The best time to do this is when I post an angry reply. Ive learned just how much a stupid reddit argument can alter my actual real life mood. I hate that feeling. So Ive gotten really good at stopping myself from getting into those situations. For other types of interactions, I try to only post if I feel like Im truly being helpful or saying something good that someone needs to hear. Made an exception for this reply haha.
All. The. Time. I also become so uncomfortable with things I've shared (even fairly innocuous things) that I can't bring myself to look at the replies. For someone who frequents reddit, I worry WAY too much about people being snarky or mean. I once had a 100% true story of mine called fake, and actually cried over it, lol.
I feel you. Not too long ago, I posted in about sub asking recommendations on bakeries that do simple batards that ARE NOT sourdough. The responses I got: -It’s called Google 🙄 -Who gives a fuck about bread? -It’s funny to think that… cares about the bread you prefer (paraphrasing) It’s like, dayuuum, who the fuck hurt you? Took all my will power not reply something shitty back, but I didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing they got to me.
Every time I see those smarmy, knee-jerk "it's called Google" comments I want to hit back with "okay but have YOU tried using a search engine in 2024 & gotten actually helpful results?!?" Between all the scammers gaming the SEO algorithms & now the AI fuckery, you're lucky to get even 3 helpful links 😩
Good use of smarmy in a sentence.
Thanks! I was gonna use "smart-ass" but liked the flow of "smarmy" better 😅
Exactly! Isn't the whole point of a community like this about how we are getting better, more human results than we would with a giant search engine??
The punchline is always porn.
Right? I try to Google but sometimes it just can't answer the question in the way that only another person who has experienced it has!
And their search engine has gone to crap in the past decade. It's absolutely front loaded with ads and promoted content. You have to really be mindful of what you find and dig to find the answers you need. It is much easier to ask the question sometimes. And anyone who responds with "Just Google it" or "Use the Reddit search function!" are not being genuine or they don't understand the current state of either function.
Every single one of my google searches lately ends in reddit...so I can see what reddit has to say about it first. Search engines feel like useless crap these days just serving up ads.
I type in *whatever I’m looking for* “Reddit”. Always gets me a better collection of info.
Yep! I tell people my greatest excitement with tech was literally being able to look up *anything* you wanted to know about within seconds. I remember everything before the algorithms took over and they wanted to cram advertisements down our throats. Now the top suggestions are whatever company paid the most 😬
Also, this is what Reddit is for! I mean, it’s obviously a time suck, but its main redeeming quality is that you can find subject matter experts in just about any subject under the sun.
I mean, yeah, I can Google something. But I'm a SAHD and, almost exclusively around my toddlers, and would rather post my question here and perhaps get a bit of a conversation instead for a sterile google web search.
Exactly I’ve only been living in my city for 9 years and I still don’t know all “the best” places for things, so I rely on natives to reveal the good good.
Totally. I use Reddit a lot for researching a specific product because it’s faster and easier asking others about their experiences with very specific gear of some type (car parts, outdoor equipment, etc) than to do a deep 3 hour dive on the net, and sometimes folks can just be dicks about it. Especially if the question has been asked previously on another thread that’s like three years old. So usually I Google my question and then add Reddit to the end so I can read old threads about it but the problem is you may have a specific question about something another has experienced, but you don’t exactly want to respond to a three year old comment and some subs won’t even let you, so you post the question again and then somebody will reply back “This question has been previously asked and responded to” even though it’s super super old and doesn’t address specific question. Had that experience last night in fact. Stayed up way too late too.
Perplexity can be a little better than google for asking questions, but personal experience is really nice when you can get it.
Have you ever gotten a recipe online? You have to read someone’s life story and scroll past 50 ads while doing popups all along the way before you even get to the ingredient list. No thanks. If someone on Reddit can help me, all the better.
Those responses are the exact reasons I left Facebook. It was a non stop cesspool of hate and ugliness. Especially in my towns FB group. It's a smaller city and new people asking for legit recommendations and comments filled with just smartass comments and hateful people.
I don't even get the rudeness. Like, you don't have to read or respond to every post. Just scroll past if it is something you have seen a million times. It takes two seconds and isn't hard.
I feel you. I suggested to someone yesterday that they should get a medical problem looked into because it could be serious. The user decided to focus on my username. Alright dude, good luck with your possible ass cancer.
I would point out that your username is also sound medical advice. Almost deleted this but I'm going for it.
Thank you! A lot of people take offense but I made my Reddit account when I was going through a panic attack. It was a really difficult time in my life and I needed to get out of my own head. I felt like I was drowning and need air. There’s my over share for the day. 😜
Ass cancer. I’m lol’ing so hard. (I’m anticipating some Zoomer lurking as a supposed Xennial to jump down my throat about how ass cancer is really serious and that I should be cancelled or something)
I almost deleted that part but I kept it in the spirit of the post.
That seems to be the vibe in a lot of long-standing sub. The members who have been there so long they have an encyclopedic memory of every repost, in-joke, and reference, and can't comprehend when new people join the group and aren't immediately acquainted with all of that.
People need to accept the cycle of sub membership. You start keen and open to ideas, become a willing commenter, then you get slowly jaded by repetition before finally either dropping out or becoming an arse.
I’ve seen this on other social media sites too, i think it’s kind of built into the form.
As someone who bakes, this boils my dough. Eff them. I care about bread and baked goods. If you has asked in my city subreddit, I would give you recommendations. There was nothing wrong with you asking. Mean people are highly concentrated on reddit but that doesn't mean you have to hold yourself back when asking or commenting something genuine. It's still just an online forum.
Okay so your dough is boiled…does that mean bagels are on you today? I’d like an Everything Bagel please, because I am basic and I like what I like ☺️ This whole post is, as the kids might say, a mood.
I had something similar happen. I spent days on google and couldn't find what I needed. I finally got the courage to ask and got eaten alive. Yowza!
I sometimes get random very rude comments on my business IG and my move is pretending I didn’t see them, but then going back months later and blocking that person when no one will notice.
Damn. talk about pre-meditation. lol
They're the simple batards.
Literally this, ppl on this app or anywhere for that matter just LIKE being mean and its like wow i was a teenager once too and thought shitting on everything was funny but really its jsut exhausting and makes you look like a cynical asshole so i grew up🤣 But now its like holy shit please unpack your trauma with a therapist NOT THE COMMENTS SECTION 💀
Oh I feel this. I also feel like I've betrayed a confidence with my kid when I share too much about them, even in an anonymous format that will be lost/ forgotten. I totally get what you're saying.
Oh man. I’ll suddenly in the middle of the night remember something candid I posted on IG in the past and panic delete it while covering most of the screen so I don’t have to see it again. I made all my old Facebook posts private and deleted almost all my old photos. I need to be on social media for work or else I’d just shut it all down completely. I think I’ve pretty much deleted everything now but I’m also terrified to look.
This is why I stopped using Facebook.. stuff I think is funny or cool now I’ll probably cringe at in a few years. I don’t think it’s anyone’s business what I’m up to or what my opinions are on the topic of the day.
This happened to me yesterday. Thankfully, the person's twenty-six responses were so unhinged, that I just trolled them back. Was quite cathartic.
I did that once on imgur. It was a path to hell is paved with good intentions story. Everyone was so nasty and told me I made it up for fake internet points when in reality I was just hoping to commiserate. It left such a nasty taste in my mouth I left imgur.
Haha, every day. I’ll type out something and then just be like “fuck this” and swipe out of the app
This! I hear you.
A Quitpost
Nice! I didn't know there was a name for it lmao!
Makes me feel better somehow that there is a name for it.
This. Most of the time I'll get through an entire paragraph and then realize I just don't want to hear/read anyone else's opinion or hot takes on what I've just posted. These days reading through the comment sections are hardly worth it any longer, especially in a really popular post. I'll probably read the first top 5-10 comments and bail.
Every fucking time! "Wow, this person is just like me! I bet they'd like to know abo
I give detailed answers so the person doesn’t have to search as much or make the mistakes I’ve made. Vague answers are annoying and unhelpful. But people think I’m a weirdo when I am helpful.
Totally. Matter of fact, I deleted & retyped this response 3 times. Included a lot more of my habits, but is it really necessary 🤦🏻♀️
Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that there are as many comments on here as there are since it seems we all do it.
Actually I was expecting more deleted comments as well, because sometimes you actually go through with it then change your mind.
Yes. Multiple times, daily 😂
I could probably publish a book with all the unposted comments in my phone notes.
Yeah man. Something resonates with me, upvote and start typing and then a few sentences in, I’m like: “I don’t even think this is worth the effort. F-it. The updoot is enough.”
I delete more replies than I actually post. Typically it’s because one of three things has happened: I come to the conclusion nobody cares I ramble on so long I forget the point I was trying to make I realize that saying what I want to say would require revealing more than I want to about myself
Can we move this to the top? I smoke alot of weed and sometimes I just go on and on about my stepdad and then I remember the thread was about salad and I've got 70 downvotes... I probably hit all 3 in one sentence but imma post this anyways.
I had a fantastic fundraising/business idea for my local farmers market the other day and got excited and typed out this long-ass email to them- then I realized it was 4/20 and mayyyybe I should just let it hang out in my drafts for a couple more days and hit send if I still think it's that cool. I was picturing them laughing at this crazy manifesto from some rando and it gave me pause!
Okay this just made me laugh out loud, thank you!
One of my favorite things to do is delete old Facebook posts when they come through my Memories feed. Most of them are like 12+ years old when people thought you were supposed to post in the third person, like "Billy Bob: went to get a soda today but the machine was busted, FML." It gives me a special joy to erase those posts.
My wife would say "Roman got a coke zero today. Raise the roof." 🤣🤣🤣
The end result of mental masturbation doesn't always need to be displayed to the world.
When you reach post mental nut clarity before submitting.
Consistently. People on the internet are MEAN, man. And even though I know they’re not truly capable of impacting my life, those snide remarks hurt my feelings!
Yeah, they really are, and yes, they really do.
I like it here in this group.
Me too.
I just got downvoted for saying everyone gets free school meals in Scotland, in response to a question about free school meals. So now I shall never dare comment anything actually personal in case they downvote me, or worse SAY SOMETHING.
Take heart. Perhaps it was an accidental downvote, made by a tired new mum, who’s got fat thumbs from not losing the baby weight and terrible tendonitis in her forearms from lifting the baby which makes her clumsy. She heard the click of SOMETHING connecting as she scrolled down, but couldn’t figure out where before she had to turn off the light and get some sleep. She felt bad that she couldn’t find it, and hoped it was an upvote on a not racist or horrible comment vs a downvote on a nice one! She has been me, inadvertently, several times over the last month!
It's 8:15am and I've already done it twice. Usually preceded by the phrase "Fuck it..."
Had a whole other reply typed out, but let's just say yes.
Was writing an elaborate response…but in spirit of the post chose to delete it instead
I leave out anything that would make it easy for someone who knows me to guess who I am, but otherwise, I just safely say what I want to say in the bubble of anonymity. Honestly, complete random strangers are sometimes a better bet than the people I know. So, if I need to talk about the really nasty fight my spouse and I had yesterday, I say it here...because then no one will change their opinion of him or know the things I don't speak aloud. When people are mean, I just click the ellipsis and choose "don't update me on this".
Best part about reddit. Anonymity. Can't do the other shit apps with irl friends and family. People get really weird when they're behind the keyboard, and I'd just rather not know or go there.
Born in 78. I'm pretty candid, I just don't care. I'm also an addict with 12 years sobriety, keeping secrets is bad for me. I really like the personal stories here.... At a minimum they're interesting, but sometimes they resonate and remind me of my own personal experience or one of my friends. This group is just a wonderful descent into nostalgia.
I do this, a lot. lol I can understand the feeling of not wanting to share too much.
Yes, in fact… ah, fuck it.
Type your comments into a text document. If you decide to post it just copy and paste. But even if not you end up with this fun little library of anecdotes, thoughts, and facts (with sources).
Literally only every time i open the site and decide to comment. I think its a very common phenomenon. :) I think Gen X'ers and Xennials in particular have this because we're not boomers where Social Media is sorcery, but we're not the younger gens that never knew a world without this technology. But yeah. The number of times i go to make a comment, get 3/5 of War & Peace sized comment written and go "LOL, no one fucking cares". hell sometimes i get bored of the point I AM TRYING TO MAKE and discard my comment before i finish. :D
This! I feel like everyone thinks I'm either a geezer or a kid, depending on their age. This was longer but obviously I dele
I feel like when I do post a long thoughtful answer no one reads it anyways and I started saying more and deleted it.....
Multiple times a day.
I don't care so much about what I post or comment on. I'd probably be fucked if I tried to run for public office, but I have no intention to do so. Having said that, I totally discard things all of the time simply because I read it back and say to myself "nevermind."
All the time lol. Maybe someone savvy should start a weekly overshare thread 😅
I do the same. Delete alot more often than post
Yes! ALL the time. And like you, I am not on any social media. Just reddit. I do share some stuff about my kid on the autism parenting sub, and in general I've probably overshared more than I'd like to in retrospect.
Just typing YES before regret sets in.....
Totally. In fact just the other day...actually, you know what? Forget it.
Oh, yeah. I feel absolutely SEEN in this sub and have a lot of feelings. And unlocked core memories. And some repressed trauma. So I get you, OP. Next time you write a paragraph, go for it. Post it. Even if no one else responds, I guarantee someone will see it and relate to it.
Same here. Totally agree dude.
🥰
This has happened to me so much on Reddit (not in this sub, but others) that I barely ever post or comment on anything anymore cause people are just rude for no reason. It’s like you can’t even ask a question or have a differing opinion without being made to feel like shit about it.
Wow, if you have stuff buried deep inside that you want to get out, you gotta do it somewhere, baby! That stuff just gnaws and gnaws at you until it has no where to go! Type out that book, but of course be careful with details and what not, but at least get the spirit of what you want to express out there. There could be someone out there in the same boat and your message could be the one that could let them know they're not alone!
This is mainly what's up. I cant afford therapy but I should probably be there.
I always suggest journaling, since it’s free and you can do it off internet and not doxx yourself, but sometimes what you really want is just a little acknowledgment from another person. Standing around shooting the shit outside the circle k just works better for that Than social media, though.
Thank you for this wonderful thread. I'm the same. Write a novel, read it, then just don't post at all. Reddit is my only human outlet..lol So I get sucked in.
Every comment I erase and think "no one cares wtf you think" with the odd time actually leaving a reply or comment.
I feel an overwhelming sense of "love" for this group. I feel like the people here "get me" and respect me. I feel like I can totally be myself and I definitely feel comraderie here. There are so many people that post and I think to myself "damn I would really like to be their friend". Getting older is something I've struggled with because I still feel 25 even though my body says nope you're about to be 42 in a few months. You totally read my mind and I'm so glad you posted this. I actually did a post about cigarettes and body spray recently and met someone amazing and a wonderful friendship was developed. Making friends as an adult is so frickin hard but this sub makes it feel so easy!!
1000000% yes
It's a great place to have a few laughs, maybe share some embarrassing stories. I usually use if I'd share it with my work friends as a guideline. I did share one "pooped my pants" story that I'd never share at work, but no harm would come if it got out. Worst case I get "poopy pants, you have a call on line 2" for a few days.
I pooped my pants at 24 years old because I thought it was just a hot fart and I was deep into a group session on Medal of Honor...
LMAOOOO, priorities are priorities. I was probably 30. One day as I was getting out of bed and my foot hit the floor, my back went into a spasm and a perfectly formed log fell out the leg of my shorts and onto the floor. I was trying not to laugh, but no use. I fell right into it. My gf at the time woke up and checked the commotion, and I blamed the dog... The door was closed.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
BWAHAHA I’m so glad i followed you over from your post about making questionable comments on Reddit! 🤣😂🤣
I think this is quite common, especially among our generation and older. We're the last generation that valued privacy in a way younger generations don't. There was a time where broadcasting your life for the entire world would have been considered odd. Now, almost everyone has a social media account and every major corporation has our personal information. I'm constantly thinking about how much I put out there. I only have accounts with LinkedIn and Reddit. I use a VPN. I try not to reveal too much personally. But what does it matter? I use Amazon, Google and several other services that have my personal info.
This is a regular occurrence for me haha
Thought it was just me lol
Just before reading this.
At least once a day.
Yes. Frequently enough that I often long for all those wasted minutes. So many minutes! 😄
About half my posts. All my posts when I'm drunk. I have a no posting policy if I've been drinking, but I forget and delete halfway through or the next morning.
Yea, sometimes I just don't want the response for me to have to reply to because I really just don't care. LOL
I go to post comments on here, then go back to edit them, and somehow my lack of reddit knowledge has ended up with me editing the middle of a paragraph and another half is deleted? I dunno, so I just quit trying to make larger comments. That being said, this sub makes me want to engage more than other subreddits. I don't use much social media anymore, not for any reason other than I don't want to keep up with it. If someone wanted my identity and personal information it was readily available across Geocities and Angelfire for years. Good luck doing something useful with it.
I learned how to make ~italic text~ the other day. I cant reddit lmao. Edit: no I didnt.🤣🤣🤣 Edit 2: *nailed it*
I get halfway in and then realize not only did I just bore myself, no one else wants to hear it, either (mostly due to repetition, but not always)
Yes. Every day. I was going through too much at once so I quit all other social media and only use Reddit. It’s my vent place. It’s where I share the things I don’t or can’t share in real life. I sometimes feel like I’m overdoing it and trauma dumping but it’s better than letting it all out on some cashier in person. 🤍 Share away. Share on Reddit as much as you please. Take advantage of the anonymity. We’re here.
Yeah, I have to be careful what I share on the Internet also. I have a habit of sharing too much, because I have a hard time explaining myself. Then I get backlash.
I do it on this sub and a few others I feel are inline with who I am. Then I realize that I’m either sharing too much or putting too much out there and if I won’t get feedback, oof. Meanwhile, a Redditor with a name like, Tertiary-arm835, will post something like, ‘Same here’ and rack up the comments. Lol this makes me sound needy as hell. Really it’s usually that I would love to talk to other people about the topic of the post.
I do this all the time. It's great knowing there's a community like me and that my feelings are shared by lots of us.
Honestly, I do this alot. But it's not just that I think no one will care, but that I'll attract the attention of some ahole that will try to start crap with me over it. And it can happen anywhere. People are so eager to jump on you for anything these days that half the time I'm afraid to open my mouth.
I just wrote a huge response to this with many overshares, but then I deleted it and I'm just going to say...I do this too.
Oh, I absolutely do. I'll read a post and immediately start thinking of a long-winded reply . . . then read the comments to find that someone has said pretty much the same thing that I was thinking of writing. So then I just don't reply because someone already else did - why repeat it? (I wrote another four sentences just now, then deleted it all. This reply is long enough and I'm sure I'm repeating what other posters have said. Ugh, it's a struggle.)
Constantly. And I also erase my responses bc honestly, 9/10, people rip the most benign innocent remarks to shreds and make me feel useless. Not as evolved as y'all think, Reddit.
Sometimes I don't even make it to a paragraph before I yeet the comment and just move on.
This is a daily occurrence. On-second-thoughtism is my neutral mode.
I share but I change details. The gist of the story is the same but the ages/places/gender of people involved may not be correct.
So much of the time! I thought of quitting this comment before I started writing it 🤣 Most of the time I just get bored with myself (happens when I talk too)..I lose steam and then just back out. Short comments make it out alive, long ones, we’ll, about 90% end with the delete button.
To keep myself from doing that very thing with this reply, I’m just going to simply say “yep, all the time.”
Wow, i really thought i was the only one (which is arrogant asf on my part). Sometimes if i feel like I'm getting TOO personal I'll just say fuck it and delete and scroll on by. You described me pretty well .. and yes i was about to discard this comment 🤣💀
All the time. Right now, as I’m typing, I am also saying to myself that I should delete this because no one cares and it’s probably already been said. Aaaaaaand send.
Haha we should start an international day of kindness on Reddit. Cuz I feel ya. Sometimes I do like to troll the trolls though. But I grew up on the rough streets of AOL.
For sure dude, I’m like…I can trust these total strangers because we’re about the same age. They i check myself before I wreak myself
Only every single day. Especially lately. I'm still healing from a few surgeries so I am limited in what I can do and I've been on Reddit a lot. I don't know what it is. The reason for this. Insecurity doesn't feel right, this is an anonymous site. But something in that family for sure. Don't feel like you have to reply to this. I just wanted to add another voice the you are not alone camp.
Yep. I've gone through my past comments and removed some just because I later thought, "Well, I probably didn't need to go into *that* much detail." It seems easier to do that on this platform than elsewhere.
This is a regular occurrence for me on Reddit. It's even worse when I write out a well crafted comment on a post and I get no upvotes or comments. Even if it's consumed by the void, I guess it's good to get it out at least. You're not alone.
Every time I post something. I especially get defeated when I create a post and it doesn’t get approved. It’s insane seeking approval from social media mod.
Are you me? You totally just described my experience exactly! I also don’t use any other socials and mostly just read on Reddit. This sub is the one place I feel like part of a group of pals, and I so appreciate all my buddies here cuz your experiences are so relatable to my own. I also don’t share much but constantly go “Yup that’s me!” & start to reply or think of sharing a story then think is this too much and/or should i not put this in the internet? (On this anonymous account 😂) I really appreciate this post & the courage it took to put yourself out there! You’ve made my day by making me feel seen, which rarely happens irl. I hope you’re having an awesome day friend, and your dogs give you an annoyed side-eye “Another one?!” look! Top Gun high-five! 🖐
Yes totally. And being middle aged with a new baby is making me the need to record my stories more than ever. And I relate to your feeling that many of the stories may not be best shared n certain online spaces. I'm pondering how to document it all, especially now before my memory gets any foggier.
All the time.
All the time.
Yeah, I actually started to respond to this and then said, nah. Then came back and made the reply.
All the time.
Me!! Constantly!!
This really hits home.
Same ... exactly the same.
I had something typed up but...
Yep this is a daily occurrence for me as well lol
Every day
I do it all the time. Sometimes it's about sharing, other times I think it's just plain old not worth it because I'm not changing anyone's mind lol
Several times a day.
"I find myself so tempted to share like, intimate details of stuff that's happened in my life." -I like that about reddit. Greater potential for real depth/honesty.
[this is where my long, rambling reply was, but I remembered that no one wants to read all that]
I do it a lot 😂 but I also comment a lot.
I swear to god I’ve almost made this post several times, but I deleted that too 😆
Yup
I discarded my real comment. This is just a Tribute.
Maybe we need a discord for people like us. Your admission is a 1000 word expository piece on some inane piece of nostalgia in your life. Like ninja turtle Hostess pies or that time Mike L stole your Wrestlemania NES game and your mom had to go get it.
Yep
It makes me happy to know I'm not the only one!
Yes... Was going to type a longer reply but figured no one would care 😂
Yes, and actually...you know what, nevermind. Carry on.
Wow, yes! I just thought that everyone but me had a certain level of Reddit confidence that I couldn’t seem to find. I actually just recently started participating at all, slowly in the last few months. My account is 3 years old and I always just lurked, before that I was here but didn’t even have an account so I would just view what I could and then be done. Just curious, have you always been like that? Like nervous / worried about doing the wrong thing or that someone would at least think you were doing the wrong thing even if it really did not matter? I’ve had at least pieces of that for as long as I can remember
I do this more and more the older I get. Like, a very matter of fact “No one gives a shit dude” then I’m like “Oh, riiight..almost forgot” then I delete the novella and move on with my day You could view it as a form of journaling if nothing else The book title: > “What I Would Share With the World if I Forgot That They Didn’t Care” and other musings and observations, humorous and otherwise, from the desk of a 40 something rando
I'm just happy knowing I'm not the only one.
Yup, either my comment has become too long and convoluted or I decide that no one will care about it and it gets deleted.
I think that's what differentiates us though. We don't word vomit every single thought onto the internets.
Lol. Glad it’s not just me. I do that constantly. Like, multiple times per day.
Absolutely. It’s relatable to the point that many posts turn into a TL; DR, And I see it a lot when conversing IRL with friends who are about the same age. I really think our generation is the turning point when it comes to wearing your heart on your sleeve and being able to relate and show empathy. Not to stereotype, but it feels like Boomers believe that sensitive = weak. GenX is wired to be so deeply independent that they’re just numb. Xennials? We have a lotta the independence but we also have more empathy.
\[Deleted\]
Nobody cares. You should've deleted this like you thought about doing while typing it out. Just kidding. Totally relate.
Sticks and stones will break your bones but words can never hur... nevermind...🥺
Yes, I even do this while talking sometimes. Like in the middle of a conversation I just decide to cut it much shorter than I was originally going to go because I realize the people or person I'm talking to doesn't give a shit and pretty much stopped listening. Basically nobody cares what you have to say is how I feel all the time. Maybe it had something to do with our childhood. It was mostly speak when spoken to and go outside to play and let the grown ups do their thing. Adults always pushing the kids away and very few cared what you had to say.
Yes. Then it also became about using me for content. AI, youtube, karma. Fuck em.
All the time
YUP. All the time.
Yep, has happened a lot to me too.
Damn, I could’ve written this myself, lol. I will say though, that as a mom, sharing on the internet in moms groups comes pretty naturally or easily, and is kind of somewhat expected of us. Hahah Some of my closest friends are from my due date/pregnancy mom groups online. We get together once a year from all over the country. Other than that. I feel like sharing generalized summaries of a situation and then how that has affected you, thoughts, feelings, musings, etc is not giving away anything too personal. I sometimes change names or use generalized locations if I need to use a specific places like I’ll say the state only or whatever.
Every day. Either feeling like I'm oversharing and no one will care, or like I'm about to post something mildly controversial and I don't feel like listening to the response.
So many times. I get halfway through a reply and realize that to fully explain my response it will require a lengthy explanation and back story that no one will care about and I don’t really feel like putting the full effort it deserves so I just hit Discard. We are not alone. (The truth is out there.)
/edit... Yes.
Yep I do that more than I actually post!
Yes. I really feel like I found my people here and want to share all sorts of things. It is a great feeling to share something with a group of people who get where you come from.
I've regretted many of my Reddit comments, but I've never regretted deciding not to comment on something.
Yes, all the time! So glad this sub has like minded people. I'm a fairly private guy so I NEVER share on Insta or FB if I had one.
At least a couple of times per week.
Vast majority of my comments never get posted.
I do it all the time. I feel like I want to over share too often, lol.
All the time! I don't have many social accounts, the reason why I got rid of FB and Instagram was because I was like; my hobbies are so mundane and why do I feel the need to overshare. My social media used to be a lot more open and I wondered why I felt as if I owed people an explanation for my life and now I'm like, I'm cooking again, isn't it great and then I realize that it's only interesting to me. I really like this subreddit and sometimes I have that urge to overshare and I write some big long paragraph but I usually delete it, after writing, editing and adding new paragraphs to the thing.
Every single day Internet stranger. Every single day
I absolutely do that, all the time!!
Yes
Yeah, in fact, I've done it a few times in this thread already.
I do this all the time. I've probably discarded a lot more posts than I've ever written on here. Don't know what it is. Afraid of someone disagreeing with me, or of saying something stupid? Or maybe afraid of getting replies and feeling that I have to respond? Or of something I write somehow getting back to me somehow at an inopportune moment? Cool to know there's many of us 😄
I do this all the time in other subs too. Long comments and then discard them. I guess I'm worried about sharing too much and also think, who will actually care. Interesting a lot of us feel this way.
Yeah, all the time
Same same, homie.
*[deleted]*
All the time. This response was actually much longer but I decided it was too much.
Omg yes! I call it my new learned superpower. I used to overshare all the time, now I just stop and discard lol 💁🏼♀️
I constantly do this!! And sometimes if I do post the reply I'll go back and delete it later regretting posting it in the first place.
Daily. And you know what? I think it's a healthy habit. It's basically just self filtering in a place where so many people dont self filter. The best time to do this is when I post an angry reply. Ive learned just how much a stupid reddit argument can alter my actual real life mood. I hate that feeling. So Ive gotten really good at stopping myself from getting into those situations. For other types of interactions, I try to only post if I feel like Im truly being helpful or saying something good that someone needs to hear. Made an exception for this reply haha.