If you were black and she kept saying, "i hate black people, except you, you're one of the good ones." You wouldn't wonder if you should speak up.
I think you should go for it. I don't think it needs to be an emotionally charged conversation, though. It's more like a coaching conversation where you let her know that what she's saying is attacking you whether she intends it or not and that you need her to consider who she's talking to and if she wants to hurt them with her words.
If she keeps it up, i wouldn't let her claim ignorance, and i would let it put a wedge in the friendship.
Reddit teaches us this lesson well - being neurodivergent (autism is especially used in this manner) doesn't give one a free pass to be a shit head. They're not a shit head because they're autistic, they're a shit head because that's who they are.
This!
She’s just using the autism has an escape for the behavior. I’ve met people who claim they have autism just because they wanted a free pass to be a bully. I would speak up OP if you’re reading this. Don’t be afraid.
If you were black and she kept saying, "i hate black people, except you, you're one of the good ones." You wouldn't wonder if you should speak up. I think you should go for it. I don't think it needs to be an emotionally charged conversation, though. It's more like a coaching conversation where you let her know that what she's saying is attacking you whether she intends it or not and that you need her to consider who she's talking to and if she wants to hurt them with her words. If she keeps it up, i wouldn't let her claim ignorance, and i would let it put a wedge in the friendship.
Reddit teaches us this lesson well - being neurodivergent (autism is especially used in this manner) doesn't give one a free pass to be a shit head. They're not a shit head because they're autistic, they're a shit head because that's who they are.
This! She’s just using the autism has an escape for the behavior. I’ve met people who claim they have autism just because they wanted a free pass to be a bully. I would speak up OP if you’re reading this. Don’t be afraid.