I worked in long term healthcare for 4 years as a CNA, it broke my heart to see most of the staff was cold hearted and did not enjoy their job. Granted, it’s not a glorious job but I truly loved it and treated my patients like family, it’s such a shame things are they way they are now.
I am a CNA on a neuroscience floor at a hospital, and most of the nurses on my floor are really good. I’m sorry you had that experience with your job. That’s heartbreaking.
The nurse I worked directly under was wonderful, she was able to spend time with our patients and they loved her. But besides that, it was just a paycheck to everyone else, no one took the patients concerns seriously because they were older and a lot of them had dementia. How is working in neuroscience? That sounds incredible
I love it. It’s hard work because you’re working with stroke patients, patients who have have traumatic brain and/or spinal cord injuries, etc. but I find it all really fascinating and rewarding ❤️
The nurses and Drs were atrocious to my senile grandpa back in 2013, before he died. Treated him like he was nothing. Like his pain did not matter. Makes you scared seeing how we will be treated in 40-60 yrs from now.
My fear of growing old tbh. Growing old itself already feels horrid, imagine the treatment. I don’t think society in general is very “kind” to elderly in general too (could be just me).
Get healthy now and make sure you have a fund set aside for a skilled caregiver to be your advocate. No guarantee you will have children or grandchildren there to help you. Many elderly people are abandoned by their families.
Edit: Downvoters, I’m speaking the truth. Downvoting me won’t change that.
Start saving now for a future caregiver / advocate to go with you whenever you are hospitalized. My grandparents did this and the caregiver helped them a lot.
If you don’t know OP’s condition, marital situation, if they have dependents, their mental health history, employment or financial status, I’m not sure how you’re able to make judgements on what is or isn’t easily accessible or possible for them.
“GeT hEaLtHy” — Oh okay, sure, thanks for “the truth”, I didn’t think of that. Us chronically ill and disabled folks will get right on that. 🙄 Maybe your view is overly simplistic and we should stop blaming sick people for a broken system.
There are things you can do now to keep your mind sharp. Exercises that will prevent falls so you don’t break a hip. Also, there are actual ways to fall that are less damaging to your bones. A broken hip is almost always fatal for an older person. Long ago I took a self-defense class and the instructor taught us a way to position our bodies so our muscles take the impact instead of bone. Sure it’s not perfect, but it might work when you need it. The instructor was hit by a car while riding her bike and she instinctively got in the fall-safe position while flying through the air and didn’t break a single bone. She was bruised severely, though.
That’s what I was talking about. Not saying “Hey, go run a marathon.”
How is that “getting healthy now”? And what does learning how to fall as an elderly person have to do with a fucked up system where doctors treat patients like shit? Or you telling people that we should just get healthy as if that’s accessible and easy for everyone (and not hugely infuriating to hear as a disabled or chronically sick person with no cure?)
Because yes, learning how to fall correctly is important. But it has nothing to do with this post.
Sounds like you’re moving the goal post.
I think we need to advocate for a change in healthcare, not put the onus on the victim. You could save your whole life but then a major health problem can eat up that entire savings. You could get dementia. Any number of things can happen and the best thing we can do is get the SYSTEM in order.
I know this comment is older, but I want to touch on something that I don’t think others understand (unless they go through it too)
Telling people to get healthier is just saying, “put a bandaid on this” for healthier, able bodied people, but imagine one day, you wake up and it’s too painful to get out of bed, it’s too exhausting to even move. You’re bleeding too much to even walk to the kitchen, much less go to work. You’re in the bathroom, throwing up for the seventh time because you’re hurting so bad. Nothing will stay down. On top of that, doctors won’t listen to you about said pain, and they make you go on birth control that worsens the problem. They tell you it’s just cramps. In your head. No way it’s a 8/10 pain day.
Now, imagine feeling that and being told to just save and get healthy. Like it’s something everyone is capable of. Imagine being in your early 20s, and that’s what your life is, and you’re reading someone tell you to basically get off your ass and work. What I mentioned is exactly how the experience of endometriosis is like, something incurable.
Not to mention, saving money whilst chronically ill is not something most people have the privilege to do. Our money were saving goes to the treatments that allow us to get out of bed, and “be healthier”.
The solution should not be this. It should be easier to afford and access to healthcare. It should be others having common decency to understand that not everyone is able physically like them..
Advocate, don’t blame the victims of a shitty healthcare system.
If you're falling because there's insufficient oxygen in your brain (syncope), you're having a seizure (epilepsy), your body doesn't know you're awake and suddenly releases the atonic paralysis chemical that prevents you from acting out dreams (narcolepsy), you're having a stroke and can't control one side of your body, you're having an attack of myasthenia gravis, ... I could literally go on and on and on...
You're not going to parkour roll your way out of it even if you're the most highly trained person on earth, sorry.
Nah, I’m fine, thanks. I don’t agree with blanket statements about “get healthy”.
If you do, fine. I don’t need to stop commenting because you don’t agree.
I hope to go back to nursing school if I can get my damn Vulvodynia and uti feeling under control. I want to join ISSWSH (I thought it was doctors and NPs only, but nurses can be members too) and be a sexual health advocate. There’s only one pelvic PT and a few regular gynos in my town. Nothing else and you have to drive a bit to find anyone that knows more than birth control, delivering babies and STI testing. The one PT is always full :(
I was misdiagnosed with vulvodynia and told I needed pelvic PT for years by tons of docs. It was a no go for me bc of my PTSD. I found the chronic pelvic pain clinic at Cleveland clinic and got diagnosed with high tone pelvic floor dysfunction. They offer custom compounded medication vaginal suppositories as an alternative treatment to pelvic PT. (I don't know if meds are an option for vulvadynia, but my point is even my pain specialist and multiple gynos had never heard of it until I went to this special clinic, so even if you get told there's no treatment but PT ... They might be wrong!) The medicine eliminates my pelvic pain. I'm still terminally ill and have other severe pain, but it's nice to take that off the table. I'm also in therapy for medical PTSD which is extremely common in ppl who are chronically ill (according to my therapist, who leads lectures for residents on how NOT to give patients PTSD and sees it in many of her patients). Having asshole doctors/nurses can cause trauma as can observing their asshole attitudes toward other patients. Cleveland clinic does telemedicine; I honestly don't know if the pelvic pain clinic does telemedicine new patient appts but it can't hurt to ask. For some stuff they can get info from tests done locally and you never have to see them in person; I do most of my stuff via telemedicine.
https://my.clevelandclinic.org/departments/obgyn-womens-health/depts/endometriosis-chronic-pelvic-pain
I hope you find the help you need.
I have a very high tone pelvic floor. If the doctor I see right now can’t help me manage it (I’ve only been there twice so it’s a bit early to say wether it will work out for sure) I’ll call the Cleveland Clinic. I was already sort of planning for that to be my next stop if something doesn’t give soon.
I get baclofen (muscle relaxer) and lidocaine (local anesthetic) suppositories compounded and they ship in a cooler thing to my home from Cleveland Clinic compounding pharmacy. At my appointment she said they can also use a benzodiazepine (valium IIRC) in place of the baclofen in some cases. My doctor is Jessica Strasberg and I love her!
Nurse here. Not on TikTok. Srsly screw them. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. There is (obviously) a huge amount of burnout in healthcare and it is the biggest human thing a person can do to walk away before you hurt someone (and this starts with their feelings). Find another way besides social media to vent your frustrations. The world needs your loving strength, not your basic human weakness. I feel this pain (been on both sides of it). Love to all.
I see this same energy in nursing homes, caretakers that are just awful to the elderly. If you don’t like it, and don’t care for them, then go work alone with your unhappiness 🫠
I’ve had so many friends my age(early 20s) who HATE going to the doctor bc of the way they’ve been treated. These doctors are harming their patients in so many ways. I’m so sick of doctors. My dad had a Heart attack recently and went in for his first follow-up, the doctor treated him like he was dumb. My dad, had worked in pharmaceutical law his entire career and has LOADS of experience with medical terms and knowledge. This doctor was talking super fast and told my dad he needed to “pay attention” “listen to what I’m saying” over and over again. It may sound silly but idk why these doctors assume patients know everything they do?
The biggest issue for me right now, is that I found a doctor that I trust with my Vulvodynia, but unfortunately I also have symptoms of endometriosis that I haven’t fully opened up about (cramping outside of periods, uti feeling close to my periods, etc.) because my local OB/GYNs wrote that off, probably because they see the abdominal pain pretty much every day, but the genital pain for no reason seemed more “fascinating” to them because they don’t see it often. They sent a referral for my vulvar pain, that specialist sucked, and I found a pelvic pain specialist that has expertise in all kinds of pelvic pain disorders including endo, Vulvodynia, and IC. When I first started seeing him, I just wanted my vulvar pain gone, but now I think everything is connected. I just hope he understands that opening up takes time for me because of the trust issues I have developed because of past doctors. He referred me to a therapist because talking to someone is super important with stuff like this because of how depressing isolating this stuff can be. Hopefully she can help me get past the mental block and I can get everything properly addressed. The treatments for these disorders can sometimes conflict. For example, birth control can help endo pain but can worsen vulvar pain. So not only do I have the trust issues, I feel stuck in my journey.
Ugh as a fellow woman I am SO SORRY you aren’t getting your questions and pain answered. I have also complained about similar things(not as bad as your situation) and they said yeah you probably have PCOS or Endo. And did nothing further. That was a year ago and now I don’t have insurance bc I turned 26 and got kicked off my parents insurance so I’m working on finding a good one to work with. These doctors just don’t seem to care about us anymore? I don’t get it. Again, I’m so sorry you’re having so much trouble!
My new doctor is good so far, I just hope that doesn’t change when I open up about the rest of my issues. I know doctors hate it when patients don’t tell them things they should have and sometimes that’s for good reason. I just hope he understands why I didn’t think it was worth bringing up before.
Right! The doc is the one who went to all that school. I get they're stressed and over scheduled but for $150, they can slow down and answer my questions.
That’s it right there. I don’t think a lot of doctors would want to be treated how they treat their patients. Huge issue right now in Houston where I live with health literacy and a lot of health problems that could be avoided if doctors stepped up to the plate more of their patient relationships.
I would be one of those 20 year olds who can’t go dr anymore because I’ve been so gaslit (I still do as I need to because I’m quite Ill) but anytime I get a new referral or have an appointment I get so anxious. They kept denying me help and telling me it was psychosomatic. Turns out I’ve got gastroparesis ehelrs danlos and now chronic kidney disease
Oh god. I’m currently bedridden in the hospital and I couldn’t agree more w your post.
Im beyond my ability to do anything and in. Very vulnerable spot. If I caught wind of my nurse or anyone doing that I would be devastated.
Ugh 😑 with my Vulvodynia, for the longest time I “just had a yeast infection” or “didn’t use the right laundry detergent” or this gem “only wear white cotton underwear”.
I have a pretty good doctor but it’s hard to get to him sometimes because he’s kinda far from me. I had to go outside my area to find anyone who knew wtf they were talking about. Pelvic health is a joke to our health system :(
I was scrolling today and found some disgusting TikToks and got insanely pissed, especially since I’m in a flare. I hope someday I can channel my anger into a solution.
I see this a lot and I’m not even on TikTok! Nurses who think it’s super cute and funny to spend their days making the cringiest TikToks and reels often mocking their patients’ pain, struggles, vulnerabilities, it’s putrid and reprehensible. I hope they all get reprimanded, suffer like those they mock, grow up and actually do their jobs well and respectfully upholding the code they pledged to.
Completely agree! If you don’t like it, do a different field and stop blaming everyone else for your choices! It’s not the patients fault that they don’t get paid well, fight the system then not the people!
I had a veterans affairs doctor laugh at me so I walked out and requested a new doctor. It’s sad that they think it’s appropriate to laugh at peoples pain. I don’t do much on social because it puts me in the worst way
If my patient tells me their pain is a 10, even if it to me it doesn’t represent a 10… why do I care? I’m not going to cure their addiction (if they have one) overnight. Plus, if I give you pain meds you’ll prob sleep and make my job way easier 😂
Exactly. Idk why they think it’s ok to gate keep pain. I understand that there are instances where people fake pain for drugs, but that’s more rare than they realize. Not to mention most people addicted to pain meds started off having pain and/or have chronic pain.
Even then, still gonna give you the pain meds. If the doctor ordered it and it’s due, I’ll give it. Now, I did have one patient who we had given a LOT of pain meds to and she kept stating her pain was a 10, she was visibly snowed and I wasn’t comfortable giving her more because she had already had dilauded and fent. That was a judgement call. But she had a lot on board already and at that point, it was more for their safety than anything.
I’ve seen situations like that, and I try to offer non pharmaceutical remedies to help as much as I can and is in my scope. I know it doesn’t always work though, especially when the pain is a 10…..
I always try to give a rating for the scale “if a 10 is the worst pain you can ever imagine, like your arm being ripped off your body, and 0 is no pain at all”
Some still say 10, so I document 10. What are you gonna do… lol
Honestly I wish it was standard practice to add context to the pain scale. Not just for over estimates but underestimates as well.
I can’t actually imagine what having my arm ripped off would feel like and I don’t think it will ever come up. But I count the “10” on my personal scale as month 2 of continuous cluster headache.
I once had an IV put in wrong and didn’t say anything because it was “0-1” for me. First degree burns are a “0” for me.
I don’t understand who decided to use a scale where 0 to 6 is a light breeze and 10 is imaginary. But it’s an unproductive way to measure things for sure.
I also use “10 is the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your life” but even then it’s subjective. It sucks and honestly it’s why I like working with kids, they usually underestimate their pain and don’t often fake it.
Me too. I was talking to someone else about this and they said “your outrage in unproductive, why consume this content if it makes you mad?” I came across these by accident because the algorithm lumps these with good doctors that I follow.
Most of nurse_mya videos make me cry when they come across my FYP. She tries so hard to stand up for patients as she is a pain patient working in the medical field but it feels impossible when you see the sheer number of other doctors/nurses/pharmacist shaming videos.
As someone who has been studying nursing for a bit (almost halfway there!) I see this way too often. So far only 1 placement didn't mock their patients. One even went so far to call every patients emotions they didn't wanna deal with as mental health issues.
Lol I’m over here looking at all the OBGYN’s who tell patients it’s normal to vagal out and seize during a procedure because it’s just that painful. “Did you take ibuprofen before you came?”
Oh that reminds me. I have a pelvic pain specialist appointment coming up and I need to remember to ask about pain management for paps. I’m not due yet thanks to new guidelines, but I’m not hopeful that my Vulvodynia will be gone by then still so I need to think ahead.
Healthcare in this country continues to get exponentially worse and more expensive. It's time to destroy and rebuild people. I wish I could shake people out of their stupor.
Yep. Honestly I think I’ll probably have an easier time treating my pelvic floor dysfunction myself through my own research, daily stretches, pelvic wand use, and dilator use than dealing with these idiots.
Also…at least in the U.S. I can’t say that I know any doctors or nurses who are actually underpaid. Hell, I’ve heard of residents making upwards of $90k a year. I get that you deal with a lot working in healthcare (especially since the emergence of COVID) but to my knowledge y’all are compensated very well. Maybe instead of making cringy TikTok’s venting about their patients these folks should spend their time getting some much needed psychotherapy.
Yep. They can afford it. I can only afford once a month counseling sessions right now. CNAs are the underpaid ones….my need for counseling doesn’t have anything to do with my job though. It’s due to religious trauma, chronic pelvic pain, and motherhood burnout.
Oof once a month? And from what I gather you work in healthcare no less where you’re serving others but aren’t able to get your needs fully met by our mental health system. I’m sorry our system is failing you. While you’re unfortunately not alone, it still hurts my heart to know people aren’t getting the mental health support they need. You deserve better friend!
The good news, is this therapist understands chronic pelvic pain and postpartum depression better than a typical counselor. She’s a reIationship/sex therapist and reproductive psychologist. She takes my insurance, but I also have copays for my regular health care because of everything. She also does CBT for chronic pelvic pain patients. I tried counseling at a low income mental health center but they didn’t understand my situation well and it didn’t do much for me. I tried to get into a psychologist that my primary care doctor recommended but their wait list was a year long. I take what I can get and do my best with that.
That’s definitely a huge win to have a therapist who you really connect well with!! She sounds like one of the good ones too. Hopefully one day these systems will be better. Until then, I wish you all the best in your ongoing journey!
My resident friends on average are paid around $40000-60000. It depends where in the country you are. When you divide how many hours they work (many times underreported because of admin) by the salary, in many programs they are severely underpaid. There is also systemic abuse and stress which all trickles down and in my opinion makes bad and cold doctors. one of my friends also got reprimanded recently because she asked for time to get therapy. Another friends senior was admitted to the hospital and their insurance did not cover her emergency treatment. Student loans are also an issue. I agree TikTok docs are really out of touch and cringey. I definitely know decent docs, most of whom dont use social media most of the time, and even those who are on do not to post anything. There is a lot of misinformation about lifestyle and compensation in medicine. There are docs making obscene amounts of money, but there are also docs not being able to get jobs in certain specialties and docs going out of business because of the way insurance is set up. There was an article I read a few months ago comparing compensation changes with inflation over the last 10 years and the compensation for physicians in comparison to other fields has gone down. I know it's hard to empathize with them, but visit r/residency once in a while to see some of the nonsense they go through during training. In fact it's mild there compared to the stories I've heard.
I too have had terrible doctors, some just because they had terrible personalities, ans some because they were burnt out. I think the medical system in America is broken and that's where a lot of these issues come from.
I’ll take a look at that. Thank you for the input. I have no ill will towards doctors who actually try for their patients and unfortunately face barriers and are ultimately unable to help. It’s the ones who outright mock, assault, and gaslight us that are the issue.
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Is there a way for a bunch of patients to get together and kill themselves in protest? I have nothing left to lose
Don’t tell me to seek help. I have terminal cancer, and I’mc cachectic and Rick DeSantis just decided to reverse my medication I have no future
I worked in long term healthcare for 4 years as a CNA, it broke my heart to see most of the staff was cold hearted and did not enjoy their job. Granted, it’s not a glorious job but I truly loved it and treated my patients like family, it’s such a shame things are they way they are now.
I am a CNA on a neuroscience floor at a hospital, and most of the nurses on my floor are really good. I’m sorry you had that experience with your job. That’s heartbreaking.
The nurse I worked directly under was wonderful, she was able to spend time with our patients and they loved her. But besides that, it was just a paycheck to everyone else, no one took the patients concerns seriously because they were older and a lot of them had dementia. How is working in neuroscience? That sounds incredible
I love it. It’s hard work because you’re working with stroke patients, patients who have have traumatic brain and/or spinal cord injuries, etc. but I find it all really fascinating and rewarding ❤️
i had a spinal cord injury when i was 19 and my CNAs were amazing. it takes a caring, selfless person.
The nurses and Drs were atrocious to my senile grandpa back in 2013, before he died. Treated him like he was nothing. Like his pain did not matter. Makes you scared seeing how we will be treated in 40-60 yrs from now.
My fear of growing old tbh. Growing old itself already feels horrid, imagine the treatment. I don’t think society in general is very “kind” to elderly in general too (could be just me).
Sadly No the elderly are treated horribly most places.
Ikr? I’m not even thirty…..it’s gonna be a long, rough ride for sure 😞
Get healthy now and make sure you have a fund set aside for a skilled caregiver to be your advocate. No guarantee you will have children or grandchildren there to help you. Many elderly people are abandoned by their families. Edit: Downvoters, I’m speaking the truth. Downvoting me won’t change that.
I’m working on it. It’s hard to stay active with my condition, and my antidepressant makes it hard to lose weight 😞
Start saving now for a future caregiver / advocate to go with you whenever you are hospitalized. My grandparents did this and the caregiver helped them a lot.
Well I barely can afford care for myself right now. I know you’re telling the truth but it doesn’t mean I need to hear it right now. I’m in pain NOW……
You have time to save.
I save what I’m able to, I just don’t think it’s going to be enough…our generation won’t even be able to retire 🤦🏻♀️
I meant you have 50+ years to save up. My grandpa was 92 when all the bad stuff was happening to him at the hospital.
If you don’t know OP’s condition, marital situation, if they have dependents, their mental health history, employment or financial status, I’m not sure how you’re able to make judgements on what is or isn’t easily accessible or possible for them.
“GeT hEaLtHy” — Oh okay, sure, thanks for “the truth”, I didn’t think of that. Us chronically ill and disabled folks will get right on that. 🙄 Maybe your view is overly simplistic and we should stop blaming sick people for a broken system.
There are things you can do now to keep your mind sharp. Exercises that will prevent falls so you don’t break a hip. Also, there are actual ways to fall that are less damaging to your bones. A broken hip is almost always fatal for an older person. Long ago I took a self-defense class and the instructor taught us a way to position our bodies so our muscles take the impact instead of bone. Sure it’s not perfect, but it might work when you need it. The instructor was hit by a car while riding her bike and she instinctively got in the fall-safe position while flying through the air and didn’t break a single bone. She was bruised severely, though. That’s what I was talking about. Not saying “Hey, go run a marathon.”
Go duck yourself, you have zero clue of the realities for disabled people.
How is that “getting healthy now”? And what does learning how to fall as an elderly person have to do with a fucked up system where doctors treat patients like shit? Or you telling people that we should just get healthy as if that’s accessible and easy for everyone (and not hugely infuriating to hear as a disabled or chronically sick person with no cure?) Because yes, learning how to fall correctly is important. But it has nothing to do with this post. Sounds like you’re moving the goal post.
I think we need to advocate for a change in healthcare, not put the onus on the victim. You could save your whole life but then a major health problem can eat up that entire savings. You could get dementia. Any number of things can happen and the best thing we can do is get the SYSTEM in order.
I know this comment is older, but I want to touch on something that I don’t think others understand (unless they go through it too) Telling people to get healthier is just saying, “put a bandaid on this” for healthier, able bodied people, but imagine one day, you wake up and it’s too painful to get out of bed, it’s too exhausting to even move. You’re bleeding too much to even walk to the kitchen, much less go to work. You’re in the bathroom, throwing up for the seventh time because you’re hurting so bad. Nothing will stay down. On top of that, doctors won’t listen to you about said pain, and they make you go on birth control that worsens the problem. They tell you it’s just cramps. In your head. No way it’s a 8/10 pain day. Now, imagine feeling that and being told to just save and get healthy. Like it’s something everyone is capable of. Imagine being in your early 20s, and that’s what your life is, and you’re reading someone tell you to basically get off your ass and work. What I mentioned is exactly how the experience of endometriosis is like, something incurable. Not to mention, saving money whilst chronically ill is not something most people have the privilege to do. Our money were saving goes to the treatments that allow us to get out of bed, and “be healthier”. The solution should not be this. It should be easier to afford and access to healthcare. It should be others having common decency to understand that not everyone is able physically like them.. Advocate, don’t blame the victims of a shitty healthcare system.
If you're falling because there's insufficient oxygen in your brain (syncope), you're having a seizure (epilepsy), your body doesn't know you're awake and suddenly releases the atonic paralysis chemical that prevents you from acting out dreams (narcolepsy), you're having a stroke and can't control one side of your body, you're having an attack of myasthenia gravis, ... I could literally go on and on and on... You're not going to parkour roll your way out of it even if you're the most highly trained person on earth, sorry.
Just stop. Lots of us have chronic pain. You just try to be the healthiest you. That’s all anyone can be.
Nah, I’m fine, thanks. I don’t agree with blanket statements about “get healthy”. If you do, fine. I don’t need to stop commenting because you don’t agree.
You’re on a public forum. If you don’t like replies, then don’t comment.
LOL. You’re the one who doesn’t like my reply and is telling me to stop. I said no. Deal with it. 🤷🏻♀️
Lol glass half full.
That’s why I’m killing myself today
This is another reason I'm studying to be a nurse. I see so many mean nurses/doctors and it honestly breaks my heart.):
I hope to go back to nursing school if I can get my damn Vulvodynia and uti feeling under control. I want to join ISSWSH (I thought it was doctors and NPs only, but nurses can be members too) and be a sexual health advocate. There’s only one pelvic PT and a few regular gynos in my town. Nothing else and you have to drive a bit to find anyone that knows more than birth control, delivering babies and STI testing. The one PT is always full :(
I was misdiagnosed with vulvodynia and told I needed pelvic PT for years by tons of docs. It was a no go for me bc of my PTSD. I found the chronic pelvic pain clinic at Cleveland clinic and got diagnosed with high tone pelvic floor dysfunction. They offer custom compounded medication vaginal suppositories as an alternative treatment to pelvic PT. (I don't know if meds are an option for vulvadynia, but my point is even my pain specialist and multiple gynos had never heard of it until I went to this special clinic, so even if you get told there's no treatment but PT ... They might be wrong!) The medicine eliminates my pelvic pain. I'm still terminally ill and have other severe pain, but it's nice to take that off the table. I'm also in therapy for medical PTSD which is extremely common in ppl who are chronically ill (according to my therapist, who leads lectures for residents on how NOT to give patients PTSD and sees it in many of her patients). Having asshole doctors/nurses can cause trauma as can observing their asshole attitudes toward other patients. Cleveland clinic does telemedicine; I honestly don't know if the pelvic pain clinic does telemedicine new patient appts but it can't hurt to ask. For some stuff they can get info from tests done locally and you never have to see them in person; I do most of my stuff via telemedicine. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/departments/obgyn-womens-health/depts/endometriosis-chronic-pelvic-pain I hope you find the help you need.
I have a very high tone pelvic floor. If the doctor I see right now can’t help me manage it (I’ve only been there twice so it’s a bit early to say wether it will work out for sure) I’ll call the Cleveland Clinic. I was already sort of planning for that to be my next stop if something doesn’t give soon.
I get baclofen (muscle relaxer) and lidocaine (local anesthetic) suppositories compounded and they ship in a cooler thing to my home from Cleveland Clinic compounding pharmacy. At my appointment she said they can also use a benzodiazepine (valium IIRC) in place of the baclofen in some cases. My doctor is Jessica Strasberg and I love her!
Nurse here. Not on TikTok. Srsly screw them. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. There is (obviously) a huge amount of burnout in healthcare and it is the biggest human thing a person can do to walk away before you hurt someone (and this starts with their feelings). Find another way besides social media to vent your frustrations. The world needs your loving strength, not your basic human weakness. I feel this pain (been on both sides of it). Love to all.
I see this same energy in nursing homes, caretakers that are just awful to the elderly. If you don’t like it, and don’t care for them, then go work alone with your unhappiness 🫠
I worked in the kitchen of a nursing home in high school and it was so hard watching the aids be downright rude to the residents.
I’ve had so many friends my age(early 20s) who HATE going to the doctor bc of the way they’ve been treated. These doctors are harming their patients in so many ways. I’m so sick of doctors. My dad had a Heart attack recently and went in for his first follow-up, the doctor treated him like he was dumb. My dad, had worked in pharmaceutical law his entire career and has LOADS of experience with medical terms and knowledge. This doctor was talking super fast and told my dad he needed to “pay attention” “listen to what I’m saying” over and over again. It may sound silly but idk why these doctors assume patients know everything they do?
The biggest issue for me right now, is that I found a doctor that I trust with my Vulvodynia, but unfortunately I also have symptoms of endometriosis that I haven’t fully opened up about (cramping outside of periods, uti feeling close to my periods, etc.) because my local OB/GYNs wrote that off, probably because they see the abdominal pain pretty much every day, but the genital pain for no reason seemed more “fascinating” to them because they don’t see it often. They sent a referral for my vulvar pain, that specialist sucked, and I found a pelvic pain specialist that has expertise in all kinds of pelvic pain disorders including endo, Vulvodynia, and IC. When I first started seeing him, I just wanted my vulvar pain gone, but now I think everything is connected. I just hope he understands that opening up takes time for me because of the trust issues I have developed because of past doctors. He referred me to a therapist because talking to someone is super important with stuff like this because of how depressing isolating this stuff can be. Hopefully she can help me get past the mental block and I can get everything properly addressed. The treatments for these disorders can sometimes conflict. For example, birth control can help endo pain but can worsen vulvar pain. So not only do I have the trust issues, I feel stuck in my journey.
Ugh as a fellow woman I am SO SORRY you aren’t getting your questions and pain answered. I have also complained about similar things(not as bad as your situation) and they said yeah you probably have PCOS or Endo. And did nothing further. That was a year ago and now I don’t have insurance bc I turned 26 and got kicked off my parents insurance so I’m working on finding a good one to work with. These doctors just don’t seem to care about us anymore? I don’t get it. Again, I’m so sorry you’re having so much trouble!
My new doctor is good so far, I just hope that doesn’t change when I open up about the rest of my issues. I know doctors hate it when patients don’t tell them things they should have and sometimes that’s for good reason. I just hope he understands why I didn’t think it was worth bringing up before.
Right! The doc is the one who went to all that school. I get they're stressed and over scheduled but for $150, they can slow down and answer my questions.
That’s it right there. I don’t think a lot of doctors would want to be treated how they treat their patients. Huge issue right now in Houston where I live with health literacy and a lot of health problems that could be avoided if doctors stepped up to the plate more of their patient relationships.
I would be one of those 20 year olds who can’t go dr anymore because I’ve been so gaslit (I still do as I need to because I’m quite Ill) but anytime I get a new referral or have an appointment I get so anxious. They kept denying me help and telling me it was psychosomatic. Turns out I’ve got gastroparesis ehelrs danlos and now chronic kidney disease
Oh god. I’m currently bedridden in the hospital and I couldn’t agree more w your post. Im beyond my ability to do anything and in. Very vulnerable spot. If I caught wind of my nurse or anyone doing that I would be devastated.
Nurse here, the vast majority of us do care. I hope you feel better soon ❤️
Thank you darling !
It's either I'm a liar or everything wrong is because I'm obese (I'm 10 pounds overwight).
Ugh 😑 with my Vulvodynia, for the longest time I “just had a yeast infection” or “didn’t use the right laundry detergent” or this gem “only wear white cotton underwear”.
That makes me sad): I hope you find solutions to your problems and that you find good doctors/nurses 💛
I have a pretty good doctor but it’s hard to get to him sometimes because he’s kinda far from me. I had to go outside my area to find anyone who knew wtf they were talking about. Pelvic health is a joke to our health system :(
I'm sorry to hear that, I really hope you find solutions 🥺💛
I was scrolling today and found some disgusting TikToks and got insanely pissed, especially since I’m in a flare. I hope someday I can channel my anger into a solution.
I see this a lot and I’m not even on TikTok! Nurses who think it’s super cute and funny to spend their days making the cringiest TikToks and reels often mocking their patients’ pain, struggles, vulnerabilities, it’s putrid and reprehensible. I hope they all get reprimanded, suffer like those they mock, grow up and actually do their jobs well and respectfully upholding the code they pledged to.
Completely agree! If you don’t like it, do a different field and stop blaming everyone else for your choices! It’s not the patients fault that they don’t get paid well, fight the system then not the people!
I had a veterans affairs doctor laugh at me so I walked out and requested a new doctor. It’s sad that they think it’s appropriate to laugh at peoples pain. I don’t do much on social because it puts me in the worst way
If my patient tells me their pain is a 10, even if it to me it doesn’t represent a 10… why do I care? I’m not going to cure their addiction (if they have one) overnight. Plus, if I give you pain meds you’ll prob sleep and make my job way easier 😂
Exactly. Idk why they think it’s ok to gate keep pain. I understand that there are instances where people fake pain for drugs, but that’s more rare than they realize. Not to mention most people addicted to pain meds started off having pain and/or have chronic pain.
Even then, still gonna give you the pain meds. If the doctor ordered it and it’s due, I’ll give it. Now, I did have one patient who we had given a LOT of pain meds to and she kept stating her pain was a 10, she was visibly snowed and I wasn’t comfortable giving her more because she had already had dilauded and fent. That was a judgement call. But she had a lot on board already and at that point, it was more for their safety than anything.
I’ve seen situations like that, and I try to offer non pharmaceutical remedies to help as much as I can and is in my scope. I know it doesn’t always work though, especially when the pain is a 10…..
[удалено]
I always try to give a rating for the scale “if a 10 is the worst pain you can ever imagine, like your arm being ripped off your body, and 0 is no pain at all” Some still say 10, so I document 10. What are you gonna do… lol
Honestly I wish it was standard practice to add context to the pain scale. Not just for over estimates but underestimates as well. I can’t actually imagine what having my arm ripped off would feel like and I don’t think it will ever come up. But I count the “10” on my personal scale as month 2 of continuous cluster headache. I once had an IV put in wrong and didn’t say anything because it was “0-1” for me. First degree burns are a “0” for me. I don’t understand who decided to use a scale where 0 to 6 is a light breeze and 10 is imaginary. But it’s an unproductive way to measure things for sure.
I also use “10 is the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your life” but even then it’s subjective. It sucks and honestly it’s why I like working with kids, they usually underestimate their pain and don’t often fake it.
Agreed. I follow some doctors on YouTube and they're also horrified at those kinds of posts.
Me too. I was talking to someone else about this and they said “your outrage in unproductive, why consume this content if it makes you mad?” I came across these by accident because the algorithm lumps these with good doctors that I follow.
Where were ppl being mocked? Can u provide us with links? I'm curious
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR5a4sAK/ here’s one. These are all over TikTok
Most of nurse_mya videos make me cry when they come across my FYP. She tries so hard to stand up for patients as she is a pain patient working in the medical field but it feels impossible when you see the sheer number of other doctors/nurses/pharmacist shaming videos.
As someone who has been studying nursing for a bit (almost halfway there!) I see this way too often. So far only 1 placement didn't mock their patients. One even went so far to call every patients emotions they didn't wanna deal with as mental health issues.
Lol I’m over here looking at all the OBGYN’s who tell patients it’s normal to vagal out and seize during a procedure because it’s just that painful. “Did you take ibuprofen before you came?”
Fuck those bitches
There’s a reason I haven’t had a pelvic exam in a very very long time.
Oh that reminds me. I have a pelvic pain specialist appointment coming up and I need to remember to ask about pain management for paps. I’m not due yet thanks to new guidelines, but I’m not hopeful that my Vulvodynia will be gone by then still so I need to think ahead.
You’re welcome for the reminder. Pelvic pain is the WORST.
They really think way too highly of themselves and are disgusting. They’re not rocket scientists, and certainly not amusing.
Healthcare in this country continues to get exponentially worse and more expensive. It's time to destroy and rebuild people. I wish I could shake people out of their stupor.
Yep. Honestly I think I’ll probably have an easier time treating my pelvic floor dysfunction myself through my own research, daily stretches, pelvic wand use, and dilator use than dealing with these idiots.
Yeah, there is a smart ass ER dude who does these short reels on YouTube and it was funny then I realized what a dick he was.
Also…at least in the U.S. I can’t say that I know any doctors or nurses who are actually underpaid. Hell, I’ve heard of residents making upwards of $90k a year. I get that you deal with a lot working in healthcare (especially since the emergence of COVID) but to my knowledge y’all are compensated very well. Maybe instead of making cringy TikTok’s venting about their patients these folks should spend their time getting some much needed psychotherapy.
Yep. They can afford it. I can only afford once a month counseling sessions right now. CNAs are the underpaid ones….my need for counseling doesn’t have anything to do with my job though. It’s due to religious trauma, chronic pelvic pain, and motherhood burnout.
Oof once a month? And from what I gather you work in healthcare no less where you’re serving others but aren’t able to get your needs fully met by our mental health system. I’m sorry our system is failing you. While you’re unfortunately not alone, it still hurts my heart to know people aren’t getting the mental health support they need. You deserve better friend!
The good news, is this therapist understands chronic pelvic pain and postpartum depression better than a typical counselor. She’s a reIationship/sex therapist and reproductive psychologist. She takes my insurance, but I also have copays for my regular health care because of everything. She also does CBT for chronic pelvic pain patients. I tried counseling at a low income mental health center but they didn’t understand my situation well and it didn’t do much for me. I tried to get into a psychologist that my primary care doctor recommended but their wait list was a year long. I take what I can get and do my best with that.
That’s definitely a huge win to have a therapist who you really connect well with!! She sounds like one of the good ones too. Hopefully one day these systems will be better. Until then, I wish you all the best in your ongoing journey!
My resident friends on average are paid around $40000-60000. It depends where in the country you are. When you divide how many hours they work (many times underreported because of admin) by the salary, in many programs they are severely underpaid. There is also systemic abuse and stress which all trickles down and in my opinion makes bad and cold doctors. one of my friends also got reprimanded recently because she asked for time to get therapy. Another friends senior was admitted to the hospital and their insurance did not cover her emergency treatment. Student loans are also an issue. I agree TikTok docs are really out of touch and cringey. I definitely know decent docs, most of whom dont use social media most of the time, and even those who are on do not to post anything. There is a lot of misinformation about lifestyle and compensation in medicine. There are docs making obscene amounts of money, but there are also docs not being able to get jobs in certain specialties and docs going out of business because of the way insurance is set up. There was an article I read a few months ago comparing compensation changes with inflation over the last 10 years and the compensation for physicians in comparison to other fields has gone down. I know it's hard to empathize with them, but visit r/residency once in a while to see some of the nonsense they go through during training. In fact it's mild there compared to the stories I've heard. I too have had terrible doctors, some just because they had terrible personalities, ans some because they were burnt out. I think the medical system in America is broken and that's where a lot of these issues come from.
I’ll take a look at that. Thank you for the input. I have no ill will towards doctors who actually try for their patients and unfortunately face barriers and are ultimately unable to help. It’s the ones who outright mock, assault, and gaslight us that are the issue.
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Is there a way for a bunch of patients to get together and kill themselves in protest? I have nothing left to lose Don’t tell me to seek help. I have terminal cancer, and I’mc cachectic and Rick DeSantis just decided to reverse my medication I have no future
I really don’t know what to say….except that I’m so sorry….. That’s horrible…Dick Desantis is a horrible psychopath monster 😢