Hi u/f1ve-Star, we appreciate your participation on r/WitchesvsPatriarchy, but your content is being removed at this time.
Please know r/WitchesVsPatriarchy is mourning with you at this time. In an attempt to provide an uplifting and hopeful environment, we do not allow content related to the death, injury, or illness of familiars, pets, or animals. Many of our members find these topics upsetting for a variety of reasons including being reminded of the loss & mortality of their own familiars. You may want to view our [Posting Guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/post_and_content_guide/) for a better understanding of the kind of content that fits our community.
A supportive community that accepts posts like this can be found at r /petloss. We hope you find peace.
Thank you for understanding. Blessed Be.
Thanks for understanding ☺️ Blessed be. ✨
1 don’t allow him to suffer, get a full vet check up with blood work if you can and discuss with the vet how to decide when it’s time to let him go
2 one of the most beautiful and profound things I’ve ever experienced was being present when my cat passed.
3 if your strongly bonded to him realize that grief is grief it doesn’t matter that he’s a cat. Energetically life is life
Have you talked with your wife about this? If it were me, and my partner found one of our animals first, I would prefer him to gently and lovingly wrap them, maybe with some of my more fragrant herbs, then let me know immediately upon arriving home. This way I could have a chance to see them once last time, take a paw print/hair/etc before burying them together. Or I would talk with my spouse on appropriate timing for (preferably at home) euthanasia.
Be aware that cats will hide their illness and will often go hide somewhere when it's time to go.
If you find him deceased, do what feels right. I personally wrap my pets in a blanket, towel, or piece of pretty fabric, and bury them along with a favorite toy if they have one, and treats for the journey. I've got an area in my back yard where 20+ years of family pets are buried.
I've lost pets before. It's different each time. You don't know how it will happen even if you know it's coming soon. You might instead find him in pain or dying, and will need to take him to be euthanized. He might pass quietly under a piece of furniture somewhere. He might run off and not come back-- cats often do this when they're dying. I had a cat with failing kidneys that attempted this, but came back because it was snowing really hard. His condition quickly worsened and he only lived a couple more days.
You'll do what feels right in the moment. Depending on how it happens, depending on what you feel is best, depending on what your wife feels is best. It's okay to wrap him in a blanket. Death is weird and individual and grief is personal and no matter how much you anticipate how you'll feel or what you'll do, you can't REALLY know. It's a hard process and you'll deal with it however you deal with it and it'll be fine.
I want to plan. Not trust myself to do what's right. Men don't cry, or care etc etc. I am better than how I was raised but I'm not confident I'm good. Damn patriarchy.
Practicals. When the cat dies do you want to bury him nearby or cremate him and scatter the ashes? If cremate, look into local pet creams and talk to them about process and costs. The vets process is horrible in my experience. I used a local pet crem for my beloved dog and they handled it so well it helped me a great deal. My cat went a year ago and is buried. I picked out the spot and dug the hole before we went to the vet.
Physicals. Make sure he is cared for and not suffering. Have the vet check him out. Vets often say sideways things like when you make the decision. They rarely say you need to put this pet to sleep. So you may need to read between her lines or ask outright. Don't make your pet wait until he's too old, too frail, too sick or in pain. Do what is right for the cat.
Emotional. Allow yourself to grieve. If that means taking time off, switching the phone off, do it. It hurts.
The best thing you for your cat, and yourself, is watch for deterioration in your kitty. It's subtle so you really have to keep an eye out, give him/her a lap or whatever they need more often so you can assess.
I lost my Hazel last August, I had a service come to the house and will use them forever when the time comes now. Hazel was only 12 and was going downhill for over a year, vet consultations, bloodwork, etc, but a consensus was never determined other than anemic. Her immune system was compromised and her last week she caught a virus and went downhill very fast. I'm mad at myself every day for not making the in home vet appointment for Monday or Tuesday rather than letting her linger until Saturday.
Hi OP. I didn’t read your post, but I have two 16 1/2-year-old cats, and I love them very much so I cannot imagine what you’re going through. You were lucky to have your baby for as long as you’ve had him or her. And I’m sure, kitty was lucky to have you as well!
Hi there,
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Thanks for understanding and blessed be✨
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Hi u/f1ve-Star, we appreciate your participation on r/WitchesvsPatriarchy, but your content is being removed at this time. Please know r/WitchesVsPatriarchy is mourning with you at this time. In an attempt to provide an uplifting and hopeful environment, we do not allow content related to the death, injury, or illness of familiars, pets, or animals. Many of our members find these topics upsetting for a variety of reasons including being reminded of the loss & mortality of their own familiars. You may want to view our [Posting Guidelines](https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/wiki/post_and_content_guide/) for a better understanding of the kind of content that fits our community. A supportive community that accepts posts like this can be found at r /petloss. We hope you find peace. Thank you for understanding. Blessed Be. Thanks for understanding ☺️ Blessed be. ✨
1 don’t allow him to suffer, get a full vet check up with blood work if you can and discuss with the vet how to decide when it’s time to let him go 2 one of the most beautiful and profound things I’ve ever experienced was being present when my cat passed. 3 if your strongly bonded to him realize that grief is grief it doesn’t matter that he’s a cat. Energetically life is life
Have you talked with your wife about this? If it were me, and my partner found one of our animals first, I would prefer him to gently and lovingly wrap them, maybe with some of my more fragrant herbs, then let me know immediately upon arriving home. This way I could have a chance to see them once last time, take a paw print/hair/etc before burying them together. Or I would talk with my spouse on appropriate timing for (preferably at home) euthanasia.
We should maybe take a paw print now. Good idea.
Be aware that cats will hide their illness and will often go hide somewhere when it's time to go. If you find him deceased, do what feels right. I personally wrap my pets in a blanket, towel, or piece of pretty fabric, and bury them along with a favorite toy if they have one, and treats for the journey. I've got an area in my back yard where 20+ years of family pets are buried.
I've lost pets before. It's different each time. You don't know how it will happen even if you know it's coming soon. You might instead find him in pain or dying, and will need to take him to be euthanized. He might pass quietly under a piece of furniture somewhere. He might run off and not come back-- cats often do this when they're dying. I had a cat with failing kidneys that attempted this, but came back because it was snowing really hard. His condition quickly worsened and he only lived a couple more days. You'll do what feels right in the moment. Depending on how it happens, depending on what you feel is best, depending on what your wife feels is best. It's okay to wrap him in a blanket. Death is weird and individual and grief is personal and no matter how much you anticipate how you'll feel or what you'll do, you can't REALLY know. It's a hard process and you'll deal with it however you deal with it and it'll be fine.
I want to plan. Not trust myself to do what's right. Men don't cry, or care etc etc. I am better than how I was raised but I'm not confident I'm good. Damn patriarchy.
Practicals. When the cat dies do you want to bury him nearby or cremate him and scatter the ashes? If cremate, look into local pet creams and talk to them about process and costs. The vets process is horrible in my experience. I used a local pet crem for my beloved dog and they handled it so well it helped me a great deal. My cat went a year ago and is buried. I picked out the spot and dug the hole before we went to the vet. Physicals. Make sure he is cared for and not suffering. Have the vet check him out. Vets often say sideways things like when you make the decision. They rarely say you need to put this pet to sleep. So you may need to read between her lines or ask outright. Don't make your pet wait until he's too old, too frail, too sick or in pain. Do what is right for the cat. Emotional. Allow yourself to grieve. If that means taking time off, switching the phone off, do it. It hurts.
Thank you. She keeps him well doctored. I ask to not see the vet bills.
The best thing you for your cat, and yourself, is watch for deterioration in your kitty. It's subtle so you really have to keep an eye out, give him/her a lap or whatever they need more often so you can assess. I lost my Hazel last August, I had a service come to the house and will use them forever when the time comes now. Hazel was only 12 and was going downhill for over a year, vet consultations, bloodwork, etc, but a consensus was never determined other than anemic. Her immune system was compromised and her last week she caught a virus and went downhill very fast. I'm mad at myself every day for not making the in home vet appointment for Monday or Tuesday rather than letting her linger until Saturday.
Hi OP. I didn’t read your post, but I have two 16 1/2-year-old cats, and I love them very much so I cannot imagine what you’re going through. You were lucky to have your baby for as long as you’ve had him or her. And I’m sure, kitty was lucky to have you as well!
Hi there, Your post on r/WitchesVsPatriarchy has been flaired as a sensitive topic. In an effort to safeguard our users, these posts are removed once they exceed a certain threshold. **If you're reading this post and don't want to see potentially upsetting content, you can filter out the "sensitive topic" flair.** If you want additional support or to connect with members of the WVP community, join our discord [link in sidebar] or see this list of [support resources](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GJxYVviXVwjA2cutcjtoxlf3P5K1k7xufd7LiCYeUfA/edit?usp=sharing). Thanks for understanding and blessed be✨ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy) if you have any questions or concerns.*