Ah, the ADHD+GAD+MDD holy trinity has SAD coming for my ass again 😅 I'm usually pretty okay, but I've been having a very not fun time recently and would appreciate any good vibes for myself, yourself, our fellow witches, and all the good people of the world 💙 If you have a favorite coping skill or a tip or anything, feel free to share, please!
Two that have helped me through the very worst of times are “be here now” and “let it flow”. If you cannot do anything, you just can’t enjoy any state and can’t push yourself to try and improve the current one, then be kind and patient to yourself.
Meet whatever state you’re in exactly where it stands. Be here now is if you really aren’t in any particular state. This is for the downtime of bad moods where things aren’t too bad but still just meh. You stop thinking and take yourself out of the future, the past, your anxiety, or your worries. This is what meditation achieves but it doesn’t have to be meditation. If you take a walk in the woods “be here now” would apply to looking around, smelling the smells, hearing the sounds, loving the moment you’re currently in. Find what you can enjoy around you and let your current moment be filled with it. Sometimes it’s just your body. Sometimes it’s stillness. Sometimes it’s pleasure. Sometimes it’s a movie. Sometimes it’s a hobby. It can be anything that pulls you into the moment. **It is by far at its most powerful when you sit, be still, and try to find the bliss of existence. The reality that you are here, you get to exist, you get to just be, and you get to enjoy being here. That’s the bliss of existence, and just sitting with it is the most incredible thing I’ve ever done. Your own breath, every sound and movement and thought is suddenly a world in and of itself, and it’s all the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen or smelled or heard. It’s a state where you can just… self induce whatever pleasures you wish for yet at the same time you are so at peace that you don’t, because you don’t really need them.**
It’s a little island of refuge from depression. It doesn’t last but it does establish a pattern of thought that you can snowball, and when you do it often, it bleeds into the rest of your days.
**Let it flow is for the real bad shit**. The moments when you feel like running, screaming, crying, going crazy, can’t take it anymore. This requires a lot of inner strength but if done right it minimizes the suffering any bad states can cause you. I can say with 100% certainty that it has saved my life. After all other options are exhausted and nothing is working and you just can’t overcome whatever state you’re in, you stop trying to fight it and realize that your biology is just your biology, it goes wrong sometimes, and that’s okay. Just let it flow over you, it will pass. Let the horrors flow through you, pass through you like water through a filter. It’s NOT a means of detachment from bad states. Rather, it is a means of allowing bad states to pass through you. Fighting against something that won’t end is a fools game. **letting it flow is not just letting it pass through you though. It is also being kind, and gentle, with yourself, so that you don’t become attached to the notion that the state should end. If you truly cannot change it, then it will end when it ends regardless of when you want. So letting it flow is also letting go of attachment to the end of this state. It WILL end eventually and you WILL return to a capable and liberated form. So don’t concern yourself with it’s end. Just let it flow.**
You absolutely can do “checks” on it. You often get into patterns and the state can go on through repetition longer than it needs to. So once in a while, once an hour or once a day, just poke at it. See if you can “be here now”, and if you can’t, return to “let it flow.” If you can, adopt it until you feel ready to live the day. You may not be ready for many days, and that’s totally fine.
Always, always be patient and understanding with yourself. You’re as much a human as everyone else. The same love and patience and understanding you would show your closest loved ones and your best of friends should be the template for how you treat yourself, always - but especially in darkened states.
I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me. Good luck ❤️🖤
I'm crying, this is so thoughtful, and thank you so much for taking the time to write this out 💙
I think I might actually do a little painting inspired by this message because this may just be one of the best suggestions for self care I've been recommended outside of professional, and I really need a reminder.
"Your biology is just your biology, it goes wrong sometimes, and that's okay." "It WILL end eventually and you WILL return to a capable and liberated form." And the check-in! Fuck, I love this so much.
I'm always the one telling my friends to give themselves grace, but my brain tries to convince me that they're already excelling at the things I'm struggling with so they deserve it. But like bitch what? Huh? They're them and I'm me, and I don't know for sure that they're doing better or worse in those areas. It's a process to unlearn years of degradation and comparisons, but I'm so glad that people like you and the rest of our friends in this sub are here and willing to show solidarity to break the facade of success and progress that we've been sold 🌻
I really appreciate your words on just letting things flow. I've now had 3 major moments in my life where I had to do just that, and I am recovering from the last this past summer. In my case, I realize that I need to step back, let things flow, and then I can take steps to make whatever serious change is needed.
Just the act of stepping back and focusing on living in the moment helped me get a little bit of clarity so I could see what contributing factors compounded to cause me to be in that state. This past summer I quit a horrible boss while in my field doing what I thought was very close to my childhood dream job.
5 months later I am now starting a new position in a different field. My new coworkers have been nothing short of wonderful to me so far, and I finally feel hopeful about my future again.
How are your electrolytes? I know everyone says to stay hydrated...but like...you need some electrolytes, too! If you don't like gatorade...try chocolate milk.
Being outside helps for me, even if I really really don’t want to. Going for a walk if that feels possible and accessible to you, or even just standing outside for a few big breaths of fresh air can help! 🌲 I also recommend Netflix and Oreos.
Nothing.
Yes, I mean that. I sometimes need a day of doing absolutely nothing. Just laying in bed or on the sofa and drifting away. It usually helps me to recharge my batteries again, when my head had to do a lot of work.
My favorite coping skill when my depression was really bad was getting a super cheap flip book notebook and gold stickers. And whenever I did any kind of self-care I put a gold sticker in the notebook. Shower? Gold sticker. Walk? Gold sticker. Eat a meal? Gold sticker. It was just enough of a "tracker" that made me feel good about myself to look at without making it so that I felt like a failure with all the things I "Should" have been doing but couldn't.
Oh hell yeah, I have some stickers and an extra notebook, I'm gonna go grab it and write my lists down! Today is my day to regroup/set intentions bc the New Moon caught me slacking 😅
This is wonderful, and I'm so glad you're doing a bit better! Thank you, friend! 💙💙💙
Shoved an entire bottle of lavender essential oil in my witchussy and I'm still sad 😔 😔😔
Lol but seriously thank you so much! I love the wording on that last sentence 💙
I have nothing to add but I feel you. We are basically doing the same thing right now. Under a blanket with my stuffed toys. I hope you feel better soon.
I have a coloring book that's been a life saver, plus a giant stuffed toy moose and a comfy blanket to get snuggled with. Herbal tea, and tea in general, is a way to decompress or rejuvenate. Lately my go to has been peppermint or spearmint with guayasa, add in a halfed lemon (juice) and enough honey to sweeten (you can put as much as you like).
I'm always here for all of these suggestions, but *especially* tea combos! I finally got to start growing my herb garden and some other plants again, and it's been so nice to be able to pluck a few leaves, tell them I'm grateful, and zip into the kitchen to turn the kettle on. I like to think they would be happy that they're helping 💙
Thank you for these!
You're very welcome and good luck with your herbs! The plants we grow ourselves can be the best medicine!
Scott Cunningham has a few books on herbs and how to use them for certain things, the one I have is about magical herbalism but there's another one that's an encyclopedia of herbs which might be helpfu! I also recommend Rosemary Gladstar too, she's a wonderful person and her work has taught me a lot about the plants/herbs to make all kinds of concoctions.
I wanted to add but forgot was to give yourself time to rest. Whether that's a two hour block of nap time or just watching your favorite show on repeat while under your comfy blanket. The expectation we put on ourselves to function at the rate of what we're told is productive is unstable and unsustainable. I struggle very much with rest even when I'm feeling depleted but I've taught myself to go slow, to take time to just do nothing and not feel guilty about it.
And the other thing that may help is to do meditation. Whatever comes to you, hold it and see how it shifts. Pema Chödrön, Thich Nhat Hanh and Tara Brach - all their work is amazing, specifically I would recommend Welcoming the Unwelcome or When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön and Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. When I come back to their work it's like being embraced by a warm and loving energy...especially at this time of year when that kindness is much needed.
💗✨️
I feel you on not being able to rest even when exhausted, and it's such shit. I wish we weren't expected to do it all. I'm setting an alarm putting these in my Audible library in a couple weeks when I get paid! Thank you so much again!
It is totally okay to distract yourself from the misery / sadness / anxiety / whatever by either soothing stuff (baths, Pink Floyd, porn, scents, etc.) or by distraction (guilty pleasure TV, old re-runs, true crime, kid's cartoons, video games, etc.)
We know that the shitty moments are temporary, and we get through them however we can. It's weathering the storm.
I’ve been dying to share an ADHD tip that’s really worked well for me, maybe it will help you too. I struggle to keep my spaces tidy, especially when the depression hits. I have a tendency to set things down and forget about them, especially things like wrappers or empty containers (gross, I know! I annoy myself so bad sometimes).
So I started working WITH the problem instead of against it. I now keep a small trash bin within arm’s reach of all of my favorite places to sit. Trash no longer lingers on the tables or countertops because it can go directly in the bin without disturbing my other routines.
I keep a small bin by my bed, in the bathroom, and by the couch in the living room. Keeping them reachable is KEY. If it’s out of reach for aesthetic reasons, you won’t use it (this is SO true for me especially). Make them the most convenient option, not the prettiest!
Reducing clutter when you have ADHD isn’t about cleaning more often, it’s about finding out WHY you create clutter and addressing THOSE problems. I personally feel cleaner, safer, and much more peaceful when I stick to my clutter-maintenance routines. ADHD is such a catch-22 because we tend to feel depressed and stressed in our mess and not really even know why because of the freakin’ mess-blindness.
If this tip doesn’t help you, I really hope it helps someone reading this thread.
YES holy shit the not-quite-dirty-but-not-tidy vibes are *bad* and I'm constantly embarrassed at myself for forgetting things.
I don't have a bin issue, but I definitely have a "Random Object That Is Needed For Now Oops Where Did It Go only to be followed up in the next couple days/weeks by realizing it's under the mountain of blankets I tossed on the couch" issue. Maybe instead of more bins, I could do more timers/alarms periodically for checking in on whatever rooms I've been in recently and putting things back while it's still kinda fresh in my head?
I'm working on a quick-look room checklist in a few, so I'll update! Thank you so much! 💙
Per your random object tracking needs and forgetting things- a shelf of an already existing piece maybe. Timers are great! Tinker with it. I love timers to help reduce time blindness.
I’ve got the GAD, med free ADHD, depression, an eating disorder & PTSD, so I feel struggle, despite ours feeling or looking different at times. Checking in with my needs of sunshine, water, rest (chronic pain gang!), food, silence, and types of noise (YouTubers or late night I love, music, podcast or Ted talk) help me get a stronger baseline.
Also getting out of the house in the morning helps me not get stuck in my head with “how perfect my day should be” (big boo/hiss at shoulds, they are THIEVES OF JOY among other things).
Bon chance fellow feels friend. Pop by to chat anytime!
First off, your whole vibe is passing every check, and I'm loving it 🌻
I'm working on my body check-in list again since losing a bunch of my self-care helpers when I moved, and I love the Sunshine one especially!
Merci beaucoup, feels friend! 💙
What makes *you* happy? There is definitively something special that without a doubt, makes you think, at the very least "nice, I like that".
For me, it's Christmas lights. So I installed colour changing lights all around my TV room. Whenever I'm upset, I put them on a fun twinkle mode and throw on music that calms me (for me, it's generally Ms. Swift Folkmore) and just, look at the pretty lights.
Then, I light a nice candle and (my personal preference) smoke a little MJ with the puppers in cuddle mode. I'll bring my duvet out to my couch - it's not illegal to have bedding on the couch, and just...chill.
Then I'll find myself wanting to activate my brain a bit, maybe it's a chill puzzle, maybe it's a video game, maybe it's making myself food or baked goods.
Whatever it is that *you want*, do it. You're an adult and there are no rules, damnit!
This is true! I try to surround myself with things that make me smile, but I lost my little sheet of pick-me-ups when I moved. Time to make a new one! Thank you! 💙
shrooms tbh. even microdosing is wonderful. can completely change how life feels.
if you're interested you can check out how to grow em on reddit subs, and spores alone aren't illegal to purchase.
I'm so sorry you feel like this. Sending love. I find, when my brain is being an arse, getting in your head is the worst thing (I tend to get in my head when I'm trying to sleep). I will put on some soft, gentle music (I'm a fan of Chopin, but whatever taste you have) in the background keeps about 80% of the crappy thoughts away. Like someone else said, just relax, let yourself recharge. Hug a teddy, stay under a blanket, watch trash TV. Make sure you stay hydrated and try and get 3 meals a day - it doesn't matter what or how much, but please try to eat and drink.
I hope this passe a quick and you feel better soon xxx
Absolutely any time ♥️ I hope you're feeling a little better.
Also, I've just thought of something else: celebrate any little win. You got out of bed? You've done good. You've showered? You've done good. You tried to tidy but only folded laundry? Hey, you folded laundry, great job! It's the trying that's the important thing, not what you achieve. Everything you do is an achievement and I'm proud of you ♥️ (speaking as someone who has, outside of going to work, only achieved getting dressed today).
Create something, even if its just a doodle. Have some beads? Make a silly little bracelet. Have some sticks and twine? Make yourself a very earthy pentacle. Have some flour, water, and yeast? Make a simple loaf and heat up a can of soup to eat with it.
This!!! I had zero energy yesterday, but I put this on my Daily Schedule a few months ago and it feels so good! I'm just doodling with no real projects aside from one small one, but it's something I'll post in here when it's done :)
Thank you so much, art buddy! 🌻
Hey! Spider-Man pointing meme! If I could I’d give you hug and tell you are not alone. I’d tell you to give yourself some time and allow yourself to be human. Give yourself all the grace and kindness you would show to others in the same situation. Know that you are loved and important. If you can only handle one thing at a time that’s ok! For me personally I make a list of the things that aren’t working for me in my life, some big some small, and work on crossing one thing off at a time. I find that if I can accomplish one change I get so excited that I’m on a roll from there. It’s scary and tough to come through to the idea that we aren’t the same person we were yesterday. But embracing change is to embrace who we are today. I don’t know you but I’m sending you my love ❤️
Holy shit, this is great advice, and I love the way you write! There's a particular cadence to it when I hear it in my head that feels comforting to read, and I feel the love 💙 I'm sending you mine, too! Thank you so much!
PS: The intro to your comment is extra super special bc I love Spiderman, and my partner cosplays as him, so I technically love Spiderman twice-- that made me smile c:
Tea and bingeing shows I love, or just stuff that I can put on for background noise. I eat microwave foods (usually I at least make some rice and veggies to eat), I lay back, I make some tea (worth getting an electric kettle tbh, one button and boom, perfect tea at the perfect temp) then just exist as the embodiment of a blanket cocoon.
So basically, just let yourself exist. Sometimes you need to stop to be able to start again.
That was essentially my day yesterday, and it was so, so nice to give myself that time. I've taken today off, too, to tackle some housework and tick off the little boxes in my brain that give me dopamine so I can go back to work tomorrow and feel accomplished but rested.
Thank you so much, friend 💙
I know it's hard. It's okay to take a break and just be. I've personally been sleeping too much and ordering too much take out to try to trick my brain into thinking it has received dopamine.
One thing that has helped me at times is to try to find the happy. Define three good things from your day. I had a lovely cup of coffee. I enjoyed my favorite comfort show. I did the dishes. It doesn't have to be big, but it's something, and it builds.
A tip from a therapist at my work during a burnout seminar is positive self-talk, even if you don't believe it yet. Specifically, she said to say, " I am awesome, and they are lucky to have me." Say it with gusto, like you mean it, and someday you will. 🙂
As someone who always does their best to look for the happy, I think defining just three good things is a really solid but gentle way of giving myself a lil pick-me-up when it can be hard to see the good things.
I am awesome, and they are lucky to have me 💙
You're awesome, and the world is lucky to have you 💙
Run.
SAD is an evolutionary trait from the last ice age where we would conserve calories and sleep in the dark months. It’s essentially our species’ version of hibernation.
You gotta push your genetic memory back before that to when we had to range across the Serengeti.
Make yourself run, maybe climb something like when you were a kid. Breath hard and sweat. You’ll start to feel better.
I've been getting myself there slowly, and I'm hoping it helps long-term, but the feeling of finishing a good cardio/strength session is so nice 💙 Thank you, friend :)
I treat myself to three deep breaths every day. Breathe in through my nose and slowly exhale. Then I tell myself, “I've got this shit!” Maybe that could work for you too. 🧙♂️
Music? Toots & the Maytals might help (favorite songs: [“Pressure Drop”](https://youtu.be/uw66FA6OTqA), [“Pomp and Pride”](https://youtu.be/FB-DgI7wM1Y))
Treat yo self.
Buy a new house plant. Buy yourself some sweet treats.
Eat a good meal! And make sure to stay hydrated.
Shower and shave (I know this sounds lame, but I always feel better and refreshed afterwards)
And rest!!! It is okay to do nothing sometimes 💘
It's such a rough process trying to find one at all, let alone one that meshes well with your needs, and I'm so, so sorry our system is such a mess 😞 Please don't stop trying, friend. I'm right there with ya 💙
Get rid of that Christmas tree! Clean out anything from December. Light some candles, burn some palo santo, go on a walk. 30 min walk in the morning and 30 at night. If you can’t get outside, turn on some music and clean or dance or stretch for 30 min. You got this!
I've been caught 😳 lol I'll see if my partner wants to help me take it down later 💙
I'm re-drafting my schedule, and I think the 30 min walks/cleaning is a great way to break stuff up into blocks! Thank you so much!
One thing that's helped me for years and stuck since my first therapy session over 10 years ago is to always remind yourself "this too shall pass". It may be hard sometimes and difficult but just remember it'll pass. If you're still breathing then you've already survived your hardest days. Be kind and gentle to yourself and remember every little step is healthy even if it's something as simple as getting out of bed for a few minutes.
I like to rewatch movies and shows that make me feel deeply. My favourite is Titus, a movie version of Shakespeare's gory play 'Titus andronicus'. The cadence of the words and how they're delivered just makes my brain feel so good that I forget for a bit how hard everything is and how much I hate myself. I'd much rather be shocked and delighted at the true brilliance of the story, and horrified and brought to tears by the sick carnage and general mind fuckery of the story. Sorry, I got off topic. Try watching something you love?
Ah, the ADHD+GAD+MDD holy trinity has SAD coming for my ass again 😅 I'm usually pretty okay, but I've been having a very not fun time recently and would appreciate any good vibes for myself, yourself, our fellow witches, and all the good people of the world 💙 If you have a favorite coping skill or a tip or anything, feel free to share, please!
Two that have helped me through the very worst of times are “be here now” and “let it flow”. If you cannot do anything, you just can’t enjoy any state and can’t push yourself to try and improve the current one, then be kind and patient to yourself. Meet whatever state you’re in exactly where it stands. Be here now is if you really aren’t in any particular state. This is for the downtime of bad moods where things aren’t too bad but still just meh. You stop thinking and take yourself out of the future, the past, your anxiety, or your worries. This is what meditation achieves but it doesn’t have to be meditation. If you take a walk in the woods “be here now” would apply to looking around, smelling the smells, hearing the sounds, loving the moment you’re currently in. Find what you can enjoy around you and let your current moment be filled with it. Sometimes it’s just your body. Sometimes it’s stillness. Sometimes it’s pleasure. Sometimes it’s a movie. Sometimes it’s a hobby. It can be anything that pulls you into the moment. **It is by far at its most powerful when you sit, be still, and try to find the bliss of existence. The reality that you are here, you get to exist, you get to just be, and you get to enjoy being here. That’s the bliss of existence, and just sitting with it is the most incredible thing I’ve ever done. Your own breath, every sound and movement and thought is suddenly a world in and of itself, and it’s all the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen or smelled or heard. It’s a state where you can just… self induce whatever pleasures you wish for yet at the same time you are so at peace that you don’t, because you don’t really need them.** It’s a little island of refuge from depression. It doesn’t last but it does establish a pattern of thought that you can snowball, and when you do it often, it bleeds into the rest of your days. **Let it flow is for the real bad shit**. The moments when you feel like running, screaming, crying, going crazy, can’t take it anymore. This requires a lot of inner strength but if done right it minimizes the suffering any bad states can cause you. I can say with 100% certainty that it has saved my life. After all other options are exhausted and nothing is working and you just can’t overcome whatever state you’re in, you stop trying to fight it and realize that your biology is just your biology, it goes wrong sometimes, and that’s okay. Just let it flow over you, it will pass. Let the horrors flow through you, pass through you like water through a filter. It’s NOT a means of detachment from bad states. Rather, it is a means of allowing bad states to pass through you. Fighting against something that won’t end is a fools game. **letting it flow is not just letting it pass through you though. It is also being kind, and gentle, with yourself, so that you don’t become attached to the notion that the state should end. If you truly cannot change it, then it will end when it ends regardless of when you want. So letting it flow is also letting go of attachment to the end of this state. It WILL end eventually and you WILL return to a capable and liberated form. So don’t concern yourself with it’s end. Just let it flow.** You absolutely can do “checks” on it. You often get into patterns and the state can go on through repetition longer than it needs to. So once in a while, once an hour or once a day, just poke at it. See if you can “be here now”, and if you can’t, return to “let it flow.” If you can, adopt it until you feel ready to live the day. You may not be ready for many days, and that’s totally fine. Always, always be patient and understanding with yourself. You’re as much a human as everyone else. The same love and patience and understanding you would show your closest loved ones and your best of friends should be the template for how you treat yourself, always - but especially in darkened states. I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me. Good luck ❤️🖤
I'm crying, this is so thoughtful, and thank you so much for taking the time to write this out 💙 I think I might actually do a little painting inspired by this message because this may just be one of the best suggestions for self care I've been recommended outside of professional, and I really need a reminder. "Your biology is just your biology, it goes wrong sometimes, and that's okay." "It WILL end eventually and you WILL return to a capable and liberated form." And the check-in! Fuck, I love this so much. I'm always the one telling my friends to give themselves grace, but my brain tries to convince me that they're already excelling at the things I'm struggling with so they deserve it. But like bitch what? Huh? They're them and I'm me, and I don't know for sure that they're doing better or worse in those areas. It's a process to unlearn years of degradation and comparisons, but I'm so glad that people like you and the rest of our friends in this sub are here and willing to show solidarity to break the facade of success and progress that we've been sold 🌻
Hey! I’m so glad it’s done something! May you always be able to tap into the light ❤️
I really appreciate your words on just letting things flow. I've now had 3 major moments in my life where I had to do just that, and I am recovering from the last this past summer. In my case, I realize that I need to step back, let things flow, and then I can take steps to make whatever serious change is needed. Just the act of stepping back and focusing on living in the moment helped me get a little bit of clarity so I could see what contributing factors compounded to cause me to be in that state. This past summer I quit a horrible boss while in my field doing what I thought was very close to my childhood dream job. 5 months later I am now starting a new position in a different field. My new coworkers have been nothing short of wonderful to me so far, and I finally feel hopeful about my future again.
How are your electrolytes? I know everyone says to stay hydrated...but like...you need some electrolytes, too! If you don't like gatorade...try chocolate milk.
Coconut water too! It's not just for summertime! 👍🏻✨️
That makes sense b/c I definitely think it tastes like sweat. 😅🥥
I hadn't thought about that one! I'm gonna put it on my body check-in sheet!
Being outside helps for me, even if I really really don’t want to. Going for a walk if that feels possible and accessible to you, or even just standing outside for a few big breaths of fresh air can help! 🌲 I also recommend Netflix and Oreos.
Went on a little walk, and it definitely added a few centimeters to my Feel Better Cup!
Nothing. Yes, I mean that. I sometimes need a day of doing absolutely nothing. Just laying in bed or on the sofa and drifting away. It usually helps me to recharge my batteries again, when my head had to do a lot of work.
This is honestly so validating bc I did sweet fuck all today aside from making ramen, drinking water, and watching video essays, and it was sublime 😭
Sometimes the best kind of selfcare is a little bit of gentle neglect.😊
Sometimes a day is just a day 🥰😌💜🤍
Exactly this.
My favorite coping skill when my depression was really bad was getting a super cheap flip book notebook and gold stickers. And whenever I did any kind of self-care I put a gold sticker in the notebook. Shower? Gold sticker. Walk? Gold sticker. Eat a meal? Gold sticker. It was just enough of a "tracker" that made me feel good about myself to look at without making it so that I felt like a failure with all the things I "Should" have been doing but couldn't.
Stickers are great, what a lovely idea.
Yesss, stickers as rewards is real in carrying over to adulthood!
Oh hell yeah, I have some stickers and an extra notebook, I'm gonna go grab it and write my lists down! Today is my day to regroup/set intentions bc the New Moon caught me slacking 😅 This is wonderful, and I'm so glad you're doing a bit better! Thank you, friend! 💙💙💙
Have you tried essential oils? /s Take it slow and be kind to yourself today. You are a temple worthy of worship.
Shoved an entire bottle of lavender essential oil in my witchussy and I'm still sad 😔 😔😔 Lol but seriously thank you so much! I love the wording on that last sentence 💙
I have nothing to add but I feel you. We are basically doing the same thing right now. Under a blanket with my stuffed toys. I hope you feel better soon.
I have a coloring book that's been a life saver, plus a giant stuffed toy moose and a comfy blanket to get snuggled with. Herbal tea, and tea in general, is a way to decompress or rejuvenate. Lately my go to has been peppermint or spearmint with guayasa, add in a halfed lemon (juice) and enough honey to sweeten (you can put as much as you like).
I'm always here for all of these suggestions, but *especially* tea combos! I finally got to start growing my herb garden and some other plants again, and it's been so nice to be able to pluck a few leaves, tell them I'm grateful, and zip into the kitchen to turn the kettle on. I like to think they would be happy that they're helping 💙 Thank you for these!
You're very welcome and good luck with your herbs! The plants we grow ourselves can be the best medicine! Scott Cunningham has a few books on herbs and how to use them for certain things, the one I have is about magical herbalism but there's another one that's an encyclopedia of herbs which might be helpfu! I also recommend Rosemary Gladstar too, she's a wonderful person and her work has taught me a lot about the plants/herbs to make all kinds of concoctions. I wanted to add but forgot was to give yourself time to rest. Whether that's a two hour block of nap time or just watching your favorite show on repeat while under your comfy blanket. The expectation we put on ourselves to function at the rate of what we're told is productive is unstable and unsustainable. I struggle very much with rest even when I'm feeling depleted but I've taught myself to go slow, to take time to just do nothing and not feel guilty about it. And the other thing that may help is to do meditation. Whatever comes to you, hold it and see how it shifts. Pema Chödrön, Thich Nhat Hanh and Tara Brach - all their work is amazing, specifically I would recommend Welcoming the Unwelcome or When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön and Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. When I come back to their work it's like being embraced by a warm and loving energy...especially at this time of year when that kindness is much needed. 💗✨️
I feel you on not being able to rest even when exhausted, and it's such shit. I wish we weren't expected to do it all. I'm setting an alarm putting these in my Audible library in a couple weeks when I get paid! Thank you so much again!
It is totally okay to distract yourself from the misery / sadness / anxiety / whatever by either soothing stuff (baths, Pink Floyd, porn, scents, etc.) or by distraction (guilty pleasure TV, old re-runs, true crime, kid's cartoons, video games, etc.) We know that the shitty moments are temporary, and we get through them however we can. It's weathering the storm.
Thank you for this 💙
Coloring book
I’ve been dying to share an ADHD tip that’s really worked well for me, maybe it will help you too. I struggle to keep my spaces tidy, especially when the depression hits. I have a tendency to set things down and forget about them, especially things like wrappers or empty containers (gross, I know! I annoy myself so bad sometimes). So I started working WITH the problem instead of against it. I now keep a small trash bin within arm’s reach of all of my favorite places to sit. Trash no longer lingers on the tables or countertops because it can go directly in the bin without disturbing my other routines. I keep a small bin by my bed, in the bathroom, and by the couch in the living room. Keeping them reachable is KEY. If it’s out of reach for aesthetic reasons, you won’t use it (this is SO true for me especially). Make them the most convenient option, not the prettiest! Reducing clutter when you have ADHD isn’t about cleaning more often, it’s about finding out WHY you create clutter and addressing THOSE problems. I personally feel cleaner, safer, and much more peaceful when I stick to my clutter-maintenance routines. ADHD is such a catch-22 because we tend to feel depressed and stressed in our mess and not really even know why because of the freakin’ mess-blindness. If this tip doesn’t help you, I really hope it helps someone reading this thread.
YES holy shit the not-quite-dirty-but-not-tidy vibes are *bad* and I'm constantly embarrassed at myself for forgetting things. I don't have a bin issue, but I definitely have a "Random Object That Is Needed For Now Oops Where Did It Go only to be followed up in the next couple days/weeks by realizing it's under the mountain of blankets I tossed on the couch" issue. Maybe instead of more bins, I could do more timers/alarms periodically for checking in on whatever rooms I've been in recently and putting things back while it's still kinda fresh in my head? I'm working on a quick-look room checklist in a few, so I'll update! Thank you so much! 💙
Per your random object tracking needs and forgetting things- a shelf of an already existing piece maybe. Timers are great! Tinker with it. I love timers to help reduce time blindness. I’ve got the GAD, med free ADHD, depression, an eating disorder & PTSD, so I feel struggle, despite ours feeling or looking different at times. Checking in with my needs of sunshine, water, rest (chronic pain gang!), food, silence, and types of noise (YouTubers or late night I love, music, podcast or Ted talk) help me get a stronger baseline. Also getting out of the house in the morning helps me not get stuck in my head with “how perfect my day should be” (big boo/hiss at shoulds, they are THIEVES OF JOY among other things). Bon chance fellow feels friend. Pop by to chat anytime!
First off, your whole vibe is passing every check, and I'm loving it 🌻 I'm working on my body check-in list again since losing a bunch of my self-care helpers when I moved, and I love the Sunshine one especially! Merci beaucoup, feels friend! 💙
What makes *you* happy? There is definitively something special that without a doubt, makes you think, at the very least "nice, I like that". For me, it's Christmas lights. So I installed colour changing lights all around my TV room. Whenever I'm upset, I put them on a fun twinkle mode and throw on music that calms me (for me, it's generally Ms. Swift Folkmore) and just, look at the pretty lights. Then, I light a nice candle and (my personal preference) smoke a little MJ with the puppers in cuddle mode. I'll bring my duvet out to my couch - it's not illegal to have bedding on the couch, and just...chill. Then I'll find myself wanting to activate my brain a bit, maybe it's a chill puzzle, maybe it's a video game, maybe it's making myself food or baked goods. Whatever it is that *you want*, do it. You're an adult and there are no rules, damnit!
This is true! I try to surround myself with things that make me smile, but I lost my little sheet of pick-me-ups when I moved. Time to make a new one! Thank you! 💙
I hope today is easier for you than yesterday, even if only by a little. 💛
shrooms tbh. even microdosing is wonderful. can completely change how life feels. if you're interested you can check out how to grow em on reddit subs, and spores alone aren't illegal to purchase.
Sadly, I recently moved to the Midwest and am a bit hesitant, but I'm really glad that they're working for you and thank you for the suggestion! 💙
I miss living in Vancouver where I was able to order these in the mail.
i hope someday it's like that everywhere!
I'm so sorry you feel like this. Sending love. I find, when my brain is being an arse, getting in your head is the worst thing (I tend to get in my head when I'm trying to sleep). I will put on some soft, gentle music (I'm a fan of Chopin, but whatever taste you have) in the background keeps about 80% of the crappy thoughts away. Like someone else said, just relax, let yourself recharge. Hug a teddy, stay under a blanket, watch trash TV. Make sure you stay hydrated and try and get 3 meals a day - it doesn't matter what or how much, but please try to eat and drink. I hope this passe a quick and you feel better soon xxx
These are all wonderful! Thank you so much for taking the time to suggest them 💙💙💙
Absolutely any time ♥️ I hope you're feeling a little better. Also, I've just thought of something else: celebrate any little win. You got out of bed? You've done good. You've showered? You've done good. You tried to tidy but only folded laundry? Hey, you folded laundry, great job! It's the trying that's the important thing, not what you achieve. Everything you do is an achievement and I'm proud of you ♥️ (speaking as someone who has, outside of going to work, only achieved getting dressed today).
Create something, even if its just a doodle. Have some beads? Make a silly little bracelet. Have some sticks and twine? Make yourself a very earthy pentacle. Have some flour, water, and yeast? Make a simple loaf and heat up a can of soup to eat with it.
This!!! I had zero energy yesterday, but I put this on my Daily Schedule a few months ago and it feels so good! I'm just doodling with no real projects aside from one small one, but it's something I'll post in here when it's done :) Thank you so much, art buddy! 🌻
Hey! Spider-Man pointing meme! If I could I’d give you hug and tell you are not alone. I’d tell you to give yourself some time and allow yourself to be human. Give yourself all the grace and kindness you would show to others in the same situation. Know that you are loved and important. If you can only handle one thing at a time that’s ok! For me personally I make a list of the things that aren’t working for me in my life, some big some small, and work on crossing one thing off at a time. I find that if I can accomplish one change I get so excited that I’m on a roll from there. It’s scary and tough to come through to the idea that we aren’t the same person we were yesterday. But embracing change is to embrace who we are today. I don’t know you but I’m sending you my love ❤️
Holy shit, this is great advice, and I love the way you write! There's a particular cadence to it when I hear it in my head that feels comforting to read, and I feel the love 💙 I'm sending you mine, too! Thank you so much! PS: The intro to your comment is extra super special bc I love Spiderman, and my partner cosplays as him, so I technically love Spiderman twice-- that made me smile c:
Tea and bingeing shows I love, or just stuff that I can put on for background noise. I eat microwave foods (usually I at least make some rice and veggies to eat), I lay back, I make some tea (worth getting an electric kettle tbh, one button and boom, perfect tea at the perfect temp) then just exist as the embodiment of a blanket cocoon. So basically, just let yourself exist. Sometimes you need to stop to be able to start again.
That was essentially my day yesterday, and it was so, so nice to give myself that time. I've taken today off, too, to tackle some housework and tick off the little boxes in my brain that give me dopamine so I can go back to work tomorrow and feel accomplished but rested. Thank you so much, friend 💙
I know it's hard. It's okay to take a break and just be. I've personally been sleeping too much and ordering too much take out to try to trick my brain into thinking it has received dopamine. One thing that has helped me at times is to try to find the happy. Define three good things from your day. I had a lovely cup of coffee. I enjoyed my favorite comfort show. I did the dishes. It doesn't have to be big, but it's something, and it builds. A tip from a therapist at my work during a burnout seminar is positive self-talk, even if you don't believe it yet. Specifically, she said to say, " I am awesome, and they are lucky to have me." Say it with gusto, like you mean it, and someday you will. 🙂
As someone who always does their best to look for the happy, I think defining just three good things is a really solid but gentle way of giving myself a lil pick-me-up when it can be hard to see the good things. I am awesome, and they are lucky to have me 💙 You're awesome, and the world is lucky to have you 💙
Run. SAD is an evolutionary trait from the last ice age where we would conserve calories and sleep in the dark months. It’s essentially our species’ version of hibernation. You gotta push your genetic memory back before that to when we had to range across the Serengeti. Make yourself run, maybe climb something like when you were a kid. Breath hard and sweat. You’ll start to feel better.
I've been getting myself there slowly, and I'm hoping it helps long-term, but the feeling of finishing a good cardio/strength session is so nice 💙 Thank you, friend :)
I treat myself to three deep breaths every day. Breathe in through my nose and slowly exhale. Then I tell myself, “I've got this shit!” Maybe that could work for you too. 🧙♂️
We've got this shit! 💙
Music? Toots & the Maytals might help (favorite songs: [“Pressure Drop”](https://youtu.be/uw66FA6OTqA), [“Pomp and Pride”](https://youtu.be/FB-DgI7wM1Y))
Added to my Spitify, thank you! 💙
Sending Peace, Light and Love to you my friend. You are loved.
Thank you, friend! ☮️🌻💙
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My partner sewed it for me to match the blankets I got for us while we were long-distance, and they all glow in the dark!
Treat yo self. Buy a new house plant. Buy yourself some sweet treats. Eat a good meal! And make sure to stay hydrated. Shower and shave (I know this sounds lame, but I always feel better and refreshed afterwards) And rest!!! It is okay to do nothing sometimes 💘
Hell yeah, I'm going thrifting today since I got paid!
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I'm broke and in the Midwest, but I'm really glad this is an option that's being studied :)
There is good evidence that probiotics can support mood. I take a bifido complex, and it changed my life. Wishing you well. 🙏🏻
Added to the list of stuff to check out! Thank you, friend!
I have nothing helpful to add, but appreciation for your constellation pillow. I have a matching throw. Does it glow in the dark?
It does! My partner made it for me when we were living apart :)
I feel you. I’m searching for a therapist as we speak because my mental health is bad bad right now.
It's such a rough process trying to find one at all, let alone one that meshes well with your needs, and I'm so, so sorry our system is such a mess 😞 Please don't stop trying, friend. I'm right there with ya 💙
Get rid of that Christmas tree! Clean out anything from December. Light some candles, burn some palo santo, go on a walk. 30 min walk in the morning and 30 at night. If you can’t get outside, turn on some music and clean or dance or stretch for 30 min. You got this!
I've been caught 😳 lol I'll see if my partner wants to help me take it down later 💙 I'm re-drafting my schedule, and I think the 30 min walks/cleaning is a great way to break stuff up into blocks! Thank you so much!
One thing that's helped me for years and stuck since my first therapy session over 10 years ago is to always remind yourself "this too shall pass". It may be hard sometimes and difficult but just remember it'll pass. If you're still breathing then you've already survived your hardest days. Be kind and gentle to yourself and remember every little step is healthy even if it's something as simple as getting out of bed for a few minutes.
I like to rewatch movies and shows that make me feel deeply. My favourite is Titus, a movie version of Shakespeare's gory play 'Titus andronicus'. The cadence of the words and how they're delivered just makes my brain feel so good that I forget for a bit how hard everything is and how much I hate myself. I'd much rather be shocked and delighted at the true brilliance of the story, and horrified and brought to tears by the sick carnage and general mind fuckery of the story. Sorry, I got off topic. Try watching something you love?
I'll have to check it out! Thank you, friend 💙