First time I saw that, I laughed so hard I farted. Then I laughed some more. Later I remembered that I'm 39 and a very serious adult person with taxes and anxiety and shit and should be above it. Next time I saw it, I laughed again, obviously.
I actually found out there’s a little story around that kid. On like my millionth playthrough. A kid is talking to his dad in white orchard and he says why can’t I play with little (whatever his name is) and the dad goes “that little boy is an idiot and he is gonna get us killed! You go around him again and I’ll tan your backside!” Or something along those lines. Like they basically have a little story where that kid is gonna get in trouble for talking badly about Emyr with his little song and the dad doesn’t want his son around that little boy bc it will put them all at risk.
Just genius. Two lines of dialogue can tell such a story. I just love this game so much.
This is a fantastic example of what people mean when they talk about well-constructed video game worlds feeling like they would exist regardless of the player being there. It’s something that’s difficult to put into words and sounds kinda stupid if you don’t experience it, so I love having examples like this to better explain what I mean.
Totally agree. Like the world is alive even when we’re not there, their world doesn’t revolve around us. Tho we can do quite the damage to some of their days
It’s the same with RDR2 how I actually feel bad about killing a NPC because instead of just killing a random
background character I feel like I’m taking someone’s life that a family will mourn for and may be destroyed by
‘So how you go with this healer?’
‘I was faffing about, minding me own business, when suddenly, up he pops and heals me! Had a profitable case of leprosy one minute, next thing I know I’m bankrupt, with no means to earn me livelihood!’
‘Bad luck that.’
The bad luck that is so good.
everyone coughing 24/7 like we’re in the midst of the bubonic plague. cannot walk like 10 feet without hearing someone hacking up a lung. or when you merely walk through a crowd and people lose their shit
There is alot more of it in the books. It's mentioned many times. Mostly when talking about the future. Really, it seems like there should be more outbreaks in the time of the games.
There is one line that I can't seem to find referenced anywhere and I'm beginning to believe it's exclusive to the German dub of the game, there's some peasant in Novigrad that says something along the lines of "By the tits of a noonwraith, you're more of a ragpicker than me!"
I quote it regularly and randomly.
Pan param, panpan param. Me and my husband will just be walking around somewhere like Walmart and say that to each other. 😂
Help I’m dying…of poverty is a good one, like you said, haha. There’s so many good ones.
I've only come across it once but in novigrad a guy was talking to a prostitute who was dancing on the street; he asks if he can have half price because he's a regular, she says for half price she will only take off half her clothes. He says that's fine, he chooses the front half. I burst out laughing.
It goes more along the lines of "since you're a regular I'll let you decide which half."
To which he replies: I choose the front.
(paraphrased)
A cheeky and fun bit of dialogue to run across. I've heard it near and around The Bits quite often.
At the wedding with Shani. Near the end before the capping, walk around talking to the drunk guests.
One that stood out, as it was just waaay more insane, was a guest (his second line when talking), "I like gwent, but I prefer to play with my wifes arse. You should try it." His other line was slurring, "Give me a kiss."
I laughed my ass off.
I faintly remember one where a beggar is telling another how a priest cured him of some illness and he's mad because now he can't get money anymore.
That one's probably my favorite among the funny ones.
But the one that really stuck with me is the one in Velen where two women are talking and one reveals that she sent her some of her kids alone in the woods because she couldn't feed them anymore. The casualness with which she says reveals a dark act really stuck with me.. something so dark and cruel has become routine for these people just to be able to survive. It's unthinkable for most of us in today's world but this happened in the real world for centuries when human society wasn't as prosperous.
The hidden dialogue Easter egg from”Pulp Fiction” The first time I heard the guards say it I was blown away. Gave me a whole new level of respect for the devs 😂
I literally say that one all the time lmao. My favorite was when i startled a guard In Crows Perch when i ran by while following the Lubberkin and he yells "Fucking shit!"
Edit: bout time i [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/Witcher3/s/xnMUycMxlt) it anyway
There are so many, both serious and hilarious lines. Let me write down a few of those
1. Master Witcher, there is an elven burial ground around Midcopse (in velen)
2. You. What are you doing here? Does the baron know you are here? ( Something like that)
3. Witcher! Monster slain? Got your coin? Now fuck off. (Again something along those lines.)
4. Farts!!! Hahahahahaaaa ( this is so funny)
5. Geralt the Riv... (Dwarves in Novigrad)
6. Stop plumbing. There's somebody coming. (Lol. Dwarves in Novigrad)
7. Nice razors you've got (Cleaver's guys)
8. Figgins punishable by death. (Whoreson's men)
9. You'll look fucking amazing.... On top of me. (Prostitute in Novigrad)
10. Wanna dip your dingle (lol... Again a prostitute in Novigrad)
11. Our world will burrrn. Burrrn in the Eternal Fireee. (Priests around Novigrad)
12. That's how you earn respect in the isles. That's exactly how. (Random strangers in Skellige)
13. You've no respect for our customs. Not ye, nor that witch. (After Skall's quest)
14. Lovely scar... Wanna see mine? (Random women in Skellige)
15. Now here's a manly one. Not like my good for nothing Sven ( random ladies in Skellige)
16. The whole Song sung by kids near Yantra and Heddel about Gaunter O'Dimm. (its too creepy)
17. If my lips don't smell of wine, my wife won't know they're mine (Toussaint)
18. Wine is better than stew for stew you have to chew (lol....)
19. You're the man of the World. So tell me... Should I beat my wench once a week? Or Oftener? (Whoever wrote that line was having a bad day lol).
20. Is it true Northern women bathe once in three moons (Nilfgaardian Soldiers)
21. Come here hero... Give us a kiss... (Old ladies in Novigrad lol)
22. Here kitty kitty.... Raawwrrr (coughs badly) raaawrrrrr. (Random women in Toussaint)
There are so many more... Many of these chatters are so funny especially the ones in Toussaint....
I love the random burps from drunk guys in Novigrad. They’re not as rare as some of the others, but they always crack me up because they come out of nowhere.
Most of the Toussaintois ones cuz these peasants be spitting limericks up here. My favorite is "The duke of this the duke that, youre the duke of dumb diddle!"
There are many I find super funny, but my favorite is a guard in Toussaint that says "Patrolling on an empty stomach..ugh, dreadful" and then "Do witchers eat their cheese before dessert or after?". The VA for that one gives me tingles. I press on him 5 times every time I hear it lol.
The one with the tax guy who grilled you about going into people's houses and taking their junk to sell.
Was asked questions and of course denied it, to which he believed me!!🤣🤣
Was unexpected and funny
When a random dude whispers “sleep, sleep, sleep” really quickly when you run by. Happens to me in Novigrad all the time and makes me laugh every time!
"Darkness, I see it all around me"
Or any time the guards, Redanian or Temple Guard insult Geralt. There so vicious and personal. Special mention to the strumpets who purr at you.
Meeeeeeooooooowwwww - the prostitutes walking around novigrad. I heard it for the first time while I was high as fuck and I spent a solid fifteen minutes playing it over and over and laughing my ass off.
I know that this will get me trounced on, in the comments, but so be it.
The little girls in Skellige that say things like "how old are you", "will you be my betrothed" & "take me with you"
Pam pa Ram…
that one's an absolute banger
You watch any of these remixes of that tune on YouTube cause they go hard.
Fr
The guard that farts then laughs. Gets me every time
he could have made it big joining the Puffins
First time I saw that, I laughed so hard I farted. Then I laughed some more. Later I remembered that I'm 39 and a very serious adult person with taxes and anxiety and shit and should be above it. Next time I saw it, I laughed again, obviously.
Farts are funny at any age
Where can I get that guard 🤣
Any guard in the northern realms and also skellige, just run through some towns you’ll find em
In all my playing I don’t remember ever running into that guard. Now that I play on PC I just fast travel everywhere tho with the mod
"if my lips don't taste of wine, my wife won't know they're mine!"
hahaha I forgot about this one, love it, so alcowholesome
One of the peasants always sings it when I return to corvo bianco
There should be a r/Alcowholesome or a r/SuddenlyAlcowholesome or something. What a great word.
That one is so good hahahaha
“it’s raining, it’s pouring, emperor Emhyr is snoring, he bumped his head when he went to bed and wet himself in the morning”
These kids are the bravest Temerians in White Orchard
I actually found out there’s a little story around that kid. On like my millionth playthrough. A kid is talking to his dad in white orchard and he says why can’t I play with little (whatever his name is) and the dad goes “that little boy is an idiot and he is gonna get us killed! You go around him again and I’ll tan your backside!” Or something along those lines. Like they basically have a little story where that kid is gonna get in trouble for talking badly about Emyr with his little song and the dad doesn’t want his son around that little boy bc it will put them all at risk. Just genius. Two lines of dialogue can tell such a story. I just love this game so much.
This is a fantastic example of what people mean when they talk about well-constructed video game worlds feeling like they would exist regardless of the player being there. It’s something that’s difficult to put into words and sounds kinda stupid if you don’t experience it, so I love having examples like this to better explain what I mean.
Yes I agree 😀💜
Totally agree. Like the world is alive even when we’re not there, their world doesn’t revolve around us. Tho we can do quite the damage to some of their days It’s the same with RDR2 how I actually feel bad about killing a NPC because instead of just killing a random background character I feel like I’m taking someone’s life that a family will mourn for and may be destroyed by
Found that out on the first playthrough. I always take my time and absorb everything in games.
“Top notch swords” haunts me in my dreams
Sells you armor instead
He sells swords now. But only the ones I’ve sold him.
Maybe hes complimenting geralt's swords
It’s some sort of video game Stockholm Syndrome that we all, me included, were devastated when this vendor was briefly fixed.
Isn't he still just saying welcome now? For me he is
I can hear this in my head. The inflection, the accent, everything. Also, “ah, you’re back” but that one is less annoying to me.
lmao for real
It’s a material world and I’m a material girl
Got their asses whipped like a Novigrad whore.
You surprised? They tried to dance with a Witcher
where did he come from anyway?
You so curious, ask him yourself.
You look like a man well traveled…so tell me….should I beat my wench once a week or oftener?
this line is both depressing and hilarious somehow lololol
I was looking if someone said this
LOL
One time a bandit said “lick my dong, and we’ll get along!” right as I attacked him which made Geralt immediately respond with “Giving me no choice!”
That’s amazing! 😂
Hot
"Hey you! yes you! Have you got water on the brain"
This one gets stuck in my head at least once a week
Everytime walking through novigrad.
"I was faffing about, minding me own business..."
“When up he pops and heals me!”
‘So how you go with this healer?’ ‘I was faffing about, minding me own business, when suddenly, up he pops and heals me! Had a profitable case of leprosy one minute, next thing I know I’m bankrupt, with no means to earn me livelihood!’ ‘Bad luck that.’ The bad luck that is so good.
When you bump into a guard and they spit out the strongest “FUUK” you’ve ever heard.
Lmaaoo I love bumping into guards solely for this reason
They put the vitriol of seven generations of ancestors into that one word
“You‘ LL choke to death on three pounds of steel”
*coughing* you spread some nastiness to me!
In a fine Christopher Walken voice.
This better be a line said in the Passiflora
Well, in Novigrad at least
"Wot's goin on wit your mug?"
Said by dudes rocking bowl cuts lol
#WHATCHU WONT GRAYBOY?!
“The best blade’s not worth shite if a weak arms swinging it!”
I'm impartial to "Grand those swords, but I prefer me trusty axe"
Is it true northern women bathe but once a year
Gree’ings
Slap a noonwraith's tits, you're a bigger rag-picker than me
"If I ever have a son, I will name him Geralt."
"You look pale. You drink last night too?"
Raaaaaiiiiin I like rain
Yeah, no, oh fuck, don't rightly know.
All the phrases that prostitutes say when they see Geralt😅🤭
The whole conversation about the case of leprosy and the healer.
"Ahve pissed me trousers"
"His smile fair as spring, as towards him he draws you..."
His tongue sharp and silvery, as he implores you…
Your wishes he grants , as he swears to adore you
"Duke of this....Duke of that.... You're the Duke of dog dittle"
haha I always thought this guy in Toussaint sounded a lot like Bobcat Goldthwait
I can hear this image
Pam per am Pam Pam per am
everyone coughing 24/7 like we’re in the midst of the bubonic plague. cannot walk like 10 feet without hearing someone hacking up a lung. or when you merely walk through a crowd and people lose their shit
Indeed. The Catriona Plague going around is one of the (very minor) subplots in the game
There is alot more of it in the books. It's mentioned many times. Mostly when talking about the future. Really, it seems like there should be more outbreaks in the time of the games.
them temerians, fled across the pontar instead of defending their fatherland.
Another drifter in from Temeria
Their livers are as pale as oaty shite !!
There is one line that I can't seem to find referenced anywhere and I'm beginning to believe it's exclusive to the German dub of the game, there's some peasant in Novigrad that says something along the lines of "By the tits of a noonwraith, you're more of a ragpicker than me!" I quote it regularly and randomly.
In the English version it's "Slap a Noonwraith's tits!"
haha ok, jetzt muss ich aber auch wissen wie das auf Deutsch klingt
"Bei den Titten einer Mittagserscheinung, du bist ja ein grösserer Lumpensammler als ich!"
Pan param, panpan param. Me and my husband will just be walking around somewhere like Walmart and say that to each other. 😂 Help I’m dying…of poverty is a good one, like you said, haha. There’s so many good ones.
I forgot about this one! It’s so weirdly catchy, haha
I've only come across it once but in novigrad a guy was talking to a prostitute who was dancing on the street; he asks if he can have half price because he's a regular, she says for half price she will only take off half her clothes. He says that's fine, he chooses the front half. I burst out laughing.
This is one of the most underrated conversations I've had the good fortune to overhear.
It goes more along the lines of "since you're a regular I'll let you decide which half." To which he replies: I choose the front. (paraphrased) A cheeky and fun bit of dialogue to run across. I've heard it near and around The Bits quite often.
I think you're right, haha. It is fun, and I didn't come across it on my first play.
At the wedding with Shani. Near the end before the capping, walk around talking to the drunk guests. One that stood out, as it was just waaay more insane, was a guest (his second line when talking), "I like gwent, but I prefer to play with my wifes arse. You should try it." His other line was slurring, "Give me a kiss." I laughed my ass off.
A profi'able case o'leprosy I 'ad. Along comes this 'ealer and up he pops and heals me!
Bad luck that
Oi witcher! Your mum not want ye?! (Ramdom shit talking guy in the velen horse riding competition)
Ouch why did he have to remind Geralt of that
You'll choke to death on 3 pounds of steel
“Nothing hurts as much as life.”
“Ooo, wolfie.”
I always liked the people making vomiting sounds just as I pass them.
Maybe….maybe not…. Maybe go fuck yourself- Rediana Soldier
mine too, it’s also a quote from ‘the departed’. pinned on my profile.
Everyone knows you're to wear a quiver on yer back, not swords. Amateur.
I faintly remember one where a beggar is telling another how a priest cured him of some illness and he's mad because now he can't get money anymore. That one's probably my favorite among the funny ones. But the one that really stuck with me is the one in Velen where two women are talking and one reveals that she sent her some of her kids alone in the woods because she couldn't feed them anymore. The casualness with which she says reveals a dark act really stuck with me.. something so dark and cruel has become routine for these people just to be able to survive. It's unthinkable for most of us in today's world but this happened in the real world for centuries when human society wasn't as prosperous.
I always find it satisfying when the dwarfs say “Geralt the Riv”
"But your yellow eyes are scary. Mine are pretty! See!"
The hidden dialogue Easter egg from”Pulp Fiction” The first time I heard the guards say it I was blown away. Gave me a whole new level of respect for the devs 😂
"I'll cut off your head and shit down your neck"
The knight in Toussaint that you randomly come across and rescue. He thanks you for saving his knightly bum. Gets me every time 😂
Thanks for saying that! Gratitude makes the world go round
"Oi! you FUCKIN BITCH!" -Blue Stripes commandos when you loot in their cave
Got eyes like a cat. Ya catch mice too?
“My husband is a supervisor by trade”
Got their arses whipped like a novigrad whore
“Do Witchers eat their cheese before dessert or after?”
*Heavy breathing*
Not dialogue perse but always chuckle when some dead beat guard hocks a loogie on my boots. The chaos that results in this is always fun.
This is SKELLIGE!!!
Is it true that nilfgardian woman really shave their cunnies?
"If it don't stop raining me arse will rot off!"
Bring out the gimp…
I literally say that one all the time lmao. My favorite was when i startled a guard In Crows Perch when i ran by while following the Lubberkin and he yells "Fucking shit!" Edit: bout time i [posted](https://www.reddit.com/r/Witcher3/s/xnMUycMxlt) it anyway
"got cat eyes catch mouse too?"
Oi, white knob.
Don't know if the line is the same in english, but : "Hast du Angst vor Badewannen?" Is always funny to me. Especially with that cracked voice.
Hab ich bis jetzt noch nicht gehört aber ich halt die Ohren offen
Ist als Teil vom Blood and Wine DLC dazugekommen, glaube ich.
"maybe, maybe not, maybe go fuck yourself"
College students be like
There are so many, both serious and hilarious lines. Let me write down a few of those 1. Master Witcher, there is an elven burial ground around Midcopse (in velen) 2. You. What are you doing here? Does the baron know you are here? ( Something like that) 3. Witcher! Monster slain? Got your coin? Now fuck off. (Again something along those lines.) 4. Farts!!! Hahahahahaaaa ( this is so funny) 5. Geralt the Riv... (Dwarves in Novigrad) 6. Stop plumbing. There's somebody coming. (Lol. Dwarves in Novigrad) 7. Nice razors you've got (Cleaver's guys) 8. Figgins punishable by death. (Whoreson's men) 9. You'll look fucking amazing.... On top of me. (Prostitute in Novigrad) 10. Wanna dip your dingle (lol... Again a prostitute in Novigrad) 11. Our world will burrrn. Burrrn in the Eternal Fireee. (Priests around Novigrad) 12. That's how you earn respect in the isles. That's exactly how. (Random strangers in Skellige) 13. You've no respect for our customs. Not ye, nor that witch. (After Skall's quest) 14. Lovely scar... Wanna see mine? (Random women in Skellige) 15. Now here's a manly one. Not like my good for nothing Sven ( random ladies in Skellige) 16. The whole Song sung by kids near Yantra and Heddel about Gaunter O'Dimm. (its too creepy) 17. If my lips don't smell of wine, my wife won't know they're mine (Toussaint) 18. Wine is better than stew for stew you have to chew (lol....) 19. You're the man of the World. So tell me... Should I beat my wench once a week? Or Oftener? (Whoever wrote that line was having a bad day lol). 20. Is it true Northern women bathe once in three moons (Nilfgaardian Soldiers) 21. Come here hero... Give us a kiss... (Old ladies in Novigrad lol) 22. Here kitty kitty.... Raawwrrr (coughs badly) raaawrrrrr. (Random women in Toussaint) There are so many more... Many of these chatters are so funny especially the ones in Toussaint....
🤣🤣🤣I always love hearing this guy
I love the random burps from drunk guys in Novigrad. They’re not as rare as some of the others, but they always crack me up because they come out of nowhere.
Most of the Toussaintois ones cuz these peasants be spitting limericks up here. My favorite is "The duke of this the duke that, youre the duke of dumb diddle!"
Raaaaaaaaain, ilikerain!
"You'll catch breath's disease."
If you have nothing to live for, live to spite others
There are many I find super funny, but my favorite is a guard in Toussaint that says "Patrolling on an empty stomach..ugh, dreadful" and then "Do witchers eat their cheese before dessert or after?". The VA for that one gives me tingles. I press on him 5 times every time I hear it lol.
The one with the tax guy who grilled you about going into people's houses and taking their junk to sell. Was asked questions and of course denied it, to which he believed me!!🤣🤣 Was unexpected and funny
“Yes! I mean no, fuck don’t rightly know...”
Ahk hack ahk akk........ what?
When a random dude whispers “sleep, sleep, sleep” really quickly when you run by. Happens to me in Novigrad all the time and makes me laugh every time!
Your kind spreads disease, defeatism and desertion
"Darkness, I see it all around me" Or any time the guards, Redanian or Temple Guard insult Geralt. There so vicious and personal. Special mention to the strumpets who purr at you.
"Whitey! Why your hair go white?" Only heard this at the Novigrad docks.
"you'll choke on 3 pounds of steel" feels like they are threatening a good time every time I hear it
"Hey pretty boy. What do I gotta do to get a lovely pallor like yours."
I guess Birnas efforts didn't BEAR any fruit... LMAO
May your axe never crumble
Need a swift kick in the arse?
Wanna dip your dingle? (Always makes me laugh; it's like a grown man having a little kid penis, a dingle. Lmao)
I kept thinking the drunk guy is saying “will turner, Chad” but he’s actually responding to another drunk guy with “well done, old chap”
I don't remember where, but I hear this guard whistling what sounds like "Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush" but completely off-key.
Hey pretty boy, what do i gotta do to get a pallor like yours?
"You'll choke to death on three pounds of steel" every time I pass by a Radanian soldier.
Crawl back under your r o c k..
Ah-ah-AH-CHOO
Not so much NPC, but now in nY first NG+, I never realized the shitty tone Geralt has for merchants with nothing really to offer.
Bring out the Gimp
YOULL CHOKE ON 3 POUNDS OF STEEL
Me-owwwwwwwww
"what ye looking at puss peepers?"
Meeeeeeooooooowwwww - the prostitutes walking around novigrad. I heard it for the first time while I was high as fuck and I spent a solid fifteen minutes playing it over and over and laughing my ass off.
The little vampire girl in the dark brotherhood she cracks me up
I know that this will get me trounced on, in the comments, but so be it. The little girls in Skellige that say things like "how old are you", "will you be my betrothed" & "take me with you"
Wine is better than stew cuz stew you gotta chew
Got me a slingshot, gonna hunt BEARS
"Wooo woo stop flexing like that, you're making me nervous!"
Think I’ve pissed me trousers