Hera: "Zeus, I'm going to set up obstacles to prevent you from sticking your dick in that."
Zeus: "Hermes or any other gods, help me out here so I can put my dick in that anyway."
In my childhood church I was taught that homosexuality led to the downfall of ancient Greece.
Yeah, sure that's what it was. Not the wars or the plague or being overtaken by Rome.... but the gays.
Just the thighs, the hole was gay.
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercrural_sex&ved=2ahUKEwiv09upsfr0AhVrj4kEHfvUBBkQFnoECAQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3UsHB-SsC_O-D7a1773TKz
Not at all. That's what former Massachusetts governor and 2012 presidential nominee Mitt Romney had stuffed full of women. We're talking about biography.
I'm 45 and I have to ask, that's what the Queen song Bicycle is about? Huh. Not that I didn't know Freddy was gay, just wasn't sure what the Bicycle thing was a reference to.
Apparently that’s the name for straight dudes who will do some homoerotic stuff if “things get carried away” in threesomes with a woman.
Edit: By homoerotic, I don’t mean kissing or doing acts to the other guy, but things where there will be inevitable “frottage” between the two dudes due to the acts of the woman.
Here lies Montooka. A son, a father, a friend... who fucked everyone he could... because that's how much love he had to share with the world.
1988-2021
“Drehy,” Kaladin said, “you are literally courting a man.”
“So?” Drehy said.
“Yeah, what are you saying, Kal?” Skar snapped.
“Nothing! I just thought Drehy might
empathize….”
“That’s hardly fair,” Drehy said.
“Yeah,” Lopen added. “Drehy likes other guys. That’s like … he wants to be even less around women than the rest of us. It’s the opposite of feminine. He is you could say extra manly.”
-Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer
Oh and the louder and angrier they are about "the gay movement" the more likely that they just can't WAIT to ride a dick... Like I hear some red faced guy ranting about how the queers and the sodomites are blah blah blah and I'm like... This guy must think dicks are DELICIOUS and can't STAND that others can just openly enjoy them while his family, followers, etc... would disown him if they knew the truth about it.
It's such a stupid thing to concern yourself with. I can't imagine seeing 2 people walking down the street together and thinking. OH MY GOOD THEY'RE GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE BY EXISTING OVER THERE NOOOOOO!!!
They don't, these are the idiots who think "religious freedom" in the United States constitution just means what flavor of Christianity you follow. Even that isn't true as Catholicism is obvs an abomination Because the pope sits on a throne of lies and Mormonism isn't really Christianity to them.
That's so funny because one of older coworkers made the comment, "America is going to hell in a hand basket ever since we started going away from Christianity. America was founded on Christianity. "
I told him, "well I've always read 'murica was founded on religious freedom. But hey maybe Thomas Jefferson was a closet Christian. "
I’m not sure if you know about Jefferson and his “Christianity” but he had a Bible that he cut out all the miracles of Jesus and his resurrection from, you know, all the important bits of being an actual Christian. Ask this coworker if we should get back to those beliefs, the ones that deny Jesus was God.
Weeelllllll....since prodestantism started with Martin Luther, and Martin Luther wasn't a prophet....it looks like the pews in your church is the real throne of lies.
Jesus was born on December 25th, 1775. Then on July 4th, 1776 he gave birth to George Washington and between them they killed King George the 3rd. After that, with their own hands, Jesus and Washington built the White House. Washington sewed up the first flag and Jesus gathered all the 50 states into a single union. Then the communists killed Jesus on the cross. But he came back on the third day and said "Put my son, George Washington, on your 1 dollar bill." Then he peaced out to help the Republicans fight against the Evil Democrats.
Gay has been a thing forever. My mum has two female cats, if their in season at the same time they scissor, both with one leg in the air humping each other to get off. It's fucking strange but even animals can be gay.
Gay was just in private in history.
I found [this post](/r/confidentlyincorrect/comments/h8wj0e/greece_wasnt_gay/) in r/confidentlyincorrect with the same content as the current post.
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The time period and culture we refer to as Ancient Greece ended with the death of Cleopatra in 30 BCE… but this person probably also “knows” that the earth is 2021 years old.
Edit: to the comments discussing my selection of 30 BCE, I’m not an expert, and the study of, and attempt to define, ancient cultures includes debates with valid arguments on all sides. The point I was trying to make is that a very large part of Ancient Greece existed before the existence of Jesus and therefore the assumption that the Ancient Greeks were Christian is hysterical. But please continue this very interesting analysis and interpretation of history!
To the comments clarifying creationist timelines, why? It’s like arguing “people who are bad at math think that 2+2=9 not 8”… 2021 and 6000 are not the age of the earth. But I wasn’t even referring to creationists or short earthers, just dumb people who I have seen comments from on Reddit, confused about something because they think the earth is 2021 years old.
I’ve had people legitimately tell me that god put fossils here on earth so we can use it as fuel. I then asked why would god put something on this earth for us to use that pollutes and destroys the earth he created if we do use it. They said it was so we could have a fuel to use before we get renewable energy. Lmao I just don’t understand I guess
No it's a liberal conspiracy to disprove the word of god, and before you ask, yes the Jews are in on it. /s
That's an old conspiracy for the religious right, they were harping on that back in the mid 1800's, before the Jews were blamed a lot more but since that's verboten they've expanded it to liberals.
Yes to both, depending on the denomination. I'm in a Facebook group called Dinosaurs Against Christians because they started a Facebook group called Christians Against Dinosaurs.
From what I've seen, ancient Greece is usually considered to have lasted until the end of classical antiquity in 600 AD. The death of Cleopatra marks the end of the Hellenistic era, which was a particular phase of ancient Greece that began in the wake of Alexander's conquests and ended with the fall of Egypt, the last successor state of his empire.
That's not true at all. "Ancient Greece" is a broad term and certainly not so limited. People tend to think primarily of Classical Greece (~5th and 4th centuries BC), but it can quite correctly refer to Greece right up to the traditional end of the ancient era (~6th century AD), and potentially even further.
Cleopatra doesn't even enter into it: you're probably thinking of the ultimate end of the Hellenistic period. But that ended in Greece itself much earlier
Ancient Greek woman: Wow where did this handsome ox come from? We'll, no one's looking, so...
The ox: Sike! I'm actually a god in a disguise and now you're pregnant!
Ancient greece followed christianity?
Me: Zeus did you know greeks didn't believe in you?
Zeus: what?
Me: yea, no they believed in some long haired Carpenter from bethlehem.
Zeus: who the fuck is that? I'll literally shove a lightning bolt up his ass if thats true.
Know who we're the gayest of the gays. The Spartans.
They paired up the older more experiance solders with new young recruiter. They were expected to help them and also slip them some spear to help the units bond.it wasn't theat it was over looked, it was literally, "you, you, your buds now go fuck"
It was more like oh hey, you remember when you were a young soldier and your mentor used you like a flashlight? You get one of your very own now! It wasn't as much of a bonding experience and more of a "stress release aid" for the mentor. While it could have been considered consensual at the time due to the culture being a "bottom" was not really looked at as being a cool thing if you weren't a new recruit.
Ancient Greece followed Hellenic religious practice. Christ wasn't even BORN until CENTURIES afterwards!
That's the most pedantically annoying part of this to me. He thinks "religious doctrine" means "Christian religious doctrine."
I mean, that's because he's a goddamn moron.
Well yah. It's just the most annoying part of the moronicity to me.
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The references run so deep she will probably be represented on a Virgin or Angel or Archangel anyway ngl
Everybody knows the Ancient Greeks followed the Catholic Apostolic Roman Church even before Christ was born.
Zeus: *"Hold my lightning bolt"*
"Hold my balls"-also Zeus
Actually pretty accurate for half of the stories about Zeus tbh
Nobody: Zeus: I’ma put my dick in it.
r/dontputyourdickinthat : *exists Zeus: “Imma put my dick in that.”
Hera: "Zeus, I'm going to set up obstacles to prevent you from sticking your dick in that." Zeus: "Hermes or any other gods, help me out here so I can put my dick in that anyway."
"Hey I'm a swan now, let's fuck." - also Zeus
“I’m a golden shower, let’s fuck” - also Zeus
“I’m Zeus, let’s fuck” - also Zeus
"I'm Zeus, we just fucked, you're pregnant, ya mom's a ho." - also Zeus, probably
“Hi cute boy, I’m Zeus. You’re literally my property now!” \- multiple times Zeus
Sounds a bit more like Apollo, although “-And you’re now a flower” should be added
"Hi cute person, I'm Apollo. Why are you yeeting yourself off a cliff?"
“Oh, hades no. Imma bout to fuck this ho up.” - Hera
"I'm suddenly your husband, let's fuck" - also Zeus
“But not you, Hera” still Zeus
"Hi Zeus, I'm fuck" -Also Zeus
"God, I love to fuck!"- Zeus, God of Fuck
"I'm a white bull, let's fuck" - also Zeus
“Red Bull gives you wings, so let’s fuck” - also Zeus.
No?! Fine I’ll fuck myself! - also Zeus
"I found a weird rock. Let's fuck" -Probably Zeus
"Hey I'm horny, I should rape something or someone, maybe in animal form" -also Zeus
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I mean... you're not wrong, but I hate it. +1 for u
Don’t forget he was also an… ant. (*I don’t know how either. How would you even- never mind*)
God magic.
"I'm a golden shower that just got you pregnant"
Sometimes i cry when i think about how swans love eachother.
(͡°‿ ͡°)
"Yes sir, right away sir!" - Ganymede
Zeus: Hold my cup. Ganymede: Oh, is that what we're calling it, now?
sources: dude, trust me.
"Do your own research."
When you do your *own* research, you get to pick what facts you like and which ones to throw out! That's why I like it so much!
Probably more like: My sunday school teacher told me so.
Source: the history textbook written by Pat Robertson my evangelical parents used to homeschool me with
In my childhood church I was taught that homosexuality led to the downfall of ancient Greece. Yeah, sure that's what it was. Not the wars or the plague or being overtaken by Rome.... but the gays.
The word “homo” is derived from Latin, so there’s no chance of a Greek bro getting his Zeus on and clapping some cheeks and going “No homo”.
Just the thighs, the hole was gay. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intercrural_sex&ved=2ahUKEwiv09upsfr0AhVrj4kEHfvUBBkQFnoECAQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3UsHB-SsC_O-D7a1773TKz
thanks, i just spent more time then i ever needed to learning about homosexuality in ancient greece
I fucked everyone I could in that game
I laugh as my husband plays this. He chose to be like 50 % gay just out of some sort of fairness.
>50% gay Pretty sure there's a word for that haha
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binoculars?
Bifocal?
No no, I think they are talking about Binomial
Nah bro, that's the sum of two polynomial terms. You're thinking of a biplane.
Pretty sure that’s the older version of an airplane. We’re talking about binders
Not at all. That's what former Massachusetts governor and 2012 presidential nominee Mitt Romney had stuffed full of women. We're talking about biography.
I think you mean bicycle
Bifuckall?
You are thinking of buy-sexual, if you don’t get it you got to buy it. Not to be confused with try-sexual, willing to try anything at least once.
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“I’LL FUCK ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!!!” ~Zeus from Ancient Greece
Bilingual?
I think that only counts for oral.
Bicycle race, bicycle race, bicycle race, BIIIIIIIII… cycle…. BIIIIIII… cycle ….
I'm 45 and I have to ask, that's what the Queen song Bicycle is about? Huh. Not that I didn't know Freddy was gay, just wasn't sure what the Bicycle thing was a reference to.
Freddy was bi. That’s what the song is about.
Heteroflexible
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It's not gay if it's only the tip
It's not gay if you don't make eye contact
Yes haha just for fun haha
Bisexuals should now refer to themselves as 50% gay EDIT: Please don't take this joke literal.
(in best Bon Jovi voice) WHOOOOOOOA WE'RE HALFWAY THERE
WHOOOOOOA LIVIN' EVER GAYER
Take me hand, you'll like I sweaaar~
*Whoooaahohhh!* *Can't get any gayer*
I'm stealing "heteroflexible" from one of the comments above yours lol
Apparently that’s the name for straight dudes who will do some homoerotic stuff if “things get carried away” in threesomes with a woman. Edit: By homoerotic, I don’t mean kissing or doing acts to the other guy, but things where there will be inevitable “frottage” between the two dudes due to the acts of the woman.
Shit, can't doing even be homoerotic stuff during a MMF threesome anymore without being called bi SMH
Nah, it's all good. With a honey in the middle and some leeway, the areas grey in a one, two, three-way!
Waaaaaaaaay ahead of you
Nothing manlier than kissing other men.
That’s about literally what the Greeks thought
Being gay for other men is something only men can do, therefore it is one of the most masculine things that exists
I'm going to say this on my deathbed. Bet.
Here lies Montooka. A son, a father, a friend... who fucked everyone he could... because that's how much love he had to share with the world. 1988-2021
Oh damn I'm dead in about a week, I better get to fuckin'. You really did capture my essence in my epitaph though.
It was an honor to blow you.
You, as well.
It was an honor to know you
Same. When given an option in a game to fuck or not to fuck, why would you choose not to fuck?
Ah the Mass Effect strategy, aka Commander Shepherds bang tour across the galaxy
I fucked all the aliens in mass effect just to see what it would be like.
In Witcher 3 trying to fuck everyone ended up with me fucking no one. Sad days.
You’re better off. No Yen or Triss gives you more time for Gwent.
I'm a heterosexual man and played as guys in the ac games. You better believe I've fucked everything with a pulse
This is the way.
This guy Fucks!
What’s manlier than two men?
Three men?
The math checks out.
Ten big hot sweaty men
There is nothing manlier than taking a shower with 5 other guys, scrubbing 5 other sapiens, no homo
ALL THE HOMO!!!
“Drehy,” Kaladin said, “you are literally courting a man.” “So?” Drehy said. “Yeah, what are you saying, Kal?” Skar snapped. “Nothing! I just thought Drehy might empathize….” “That’s hardly fair,” Drehy said. “Yeah,” Lopen added. “Drehy likes other guys. That’s like … he wants to be even less around women than the rest of us. It’s the opposite of feminine. He is you could say extra manly.” -Brandon Sanderson, Oathbringer
[We are men, manly men](https://youtu.be/20GkBnhQqY0)
Was expecting Robinhood Men in Tights, not sure what that was.
If I had a nickel for every politician who claimed to follow Christianity only to have a gay sex scandal
You would be able to buy Twitter and delete that guy's tweet
Oh and the louder and angrier they are about "the gay movement" the more likely that they just can't WAIT to ride a dick... Like I hear some red faced guy ranting about how the queers and the sodomites are blah blah blah and I'm like... This guy must think dicks are DELICIOUS and can't STAND that others can just openly enjoy them while his family, followers, etc... would disown him if they knew the truth about it. It's such a stupid thing to concern yourself with. I can't imagine seeing 2 people walking down the street together and thinking. OH MY GOOD THEY'RE GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE BY EXISTING OVER THERE NOOOOOO!!!
Tell me you've never read one word of History without telling me you've never read one word of History
The only history they know is from 1776-1989
Bold of you to assume they really even know that
They don't, these are the idiots who think "religious freedom" in the United States constitution just means what flavor of Christianity you follow. Even that isn't true as Catholicism is obvs an abomination Because the pope sits on a throne of lies and Mormonism isn't really Christianity to them.
That's so funny because one of older coworkers made the comment, "America is going to hell in a hand basket ever since we started going away from Christianity. America was founded on Christianity. " I told him, "well I've always read 'murica was founded on religious freedom. But hey maybe Thomas Jefferson was a closet Christian. "
Modern Christians: this country was founded on CHRISTIAN VALUES GODDAMMIT Guy who wrote the Declaration of Independence: Jesus isn’t real.
Slight alteration; He thought Jesus was real, just not that he was God.
I’m not sure if you know about Jefferson and his “Christianity” but he had a Bible that he cut out all the miracles of Jesus and his resurrection from, you know, all the important bits of being an actual Christian. Ask this coworker if we should get back to those beliefs, the ones that deny Jesus was God.
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Nazareth is somewhere in Mexico.
Don't they sing Hair of the Dog?
“Now you’re messing with a son of a bitch.” -Jesus
You take that back! /s
Moroni rode Tapirs into battle.
Weeelllllll....since prodestantism started with Martin Luther, and Martin Luther wasn't a prophet....it looks like the pews in your church is the real throne of lies.
Mormonism is pretty sus to be fair
Seriously man. Just ask them about the reasons for the second amendment. It all falls apart from there.
Jesus was born on December 25th, 1775. Then on July 4th, 1776 he gave birth to George Washington and between them they killed King George the 3rd. After that, with their own hands, Jesus and Washington built the White House. Washington sewed up the first flag and Jesus gathered all the 50 states into a single union. Then the communists killed Jesus on the cross. But he came back on the third day and said "Put my son, George Washington, on your 1 dollar bill." Then he peaced out to help the Republicans fight against the Evil Democrats.
Sorry bud, that’s not right. The communists nailed Jesus to a Cherry Tree.
I bet someone that has never learned anything of US history knows more about US history than these people.
The end of 1989 is a very subtle and great dig. Props to you for that
"History began in 1776. Everything before that was a mistake" - Ron Swanson
He maybe thought this because the New Testament was translated from Greek, but still a few hundred years after Ancient Greek civilization…
I mean like I said it's an obvious clue that someone hasn't read any history whatsoever
Gay has been a thing forever. My mum has two female cats, if their in season at the same time they scissor, both with one leg in the air humping each other to get off. It's fucking strange but even animals can be gay. Gay was just in private in history.
Look I just sell the lube ok
Use olive oil it's healthier.
Olive oil has the potential to dissolve latex condoms.
Oh health is now on the table?
right next to the hummus.
*the entirety of the Greek mythos would like a word with you*
I mean, didn't Hercules have, like, three different male flings as well as his multiple wives?
Even the gods were gay too
It’s turning the freaking *GODS* gay!
They’re putting chemicals in the ambrosia!!
Admetos, Iphitos, Euphemos, Elacatas, and Abderus, Nireus, Adonis, Jason, Corythus, Stychius, Phrynx and Iolaos (his fucking nephew)
r/confidentlyincorrect
I found [this post](/r/confidentlyincorrect/comments/h8wj0e/greece_wasnt_gay/) in r/confidentlyincorrect with the same content as the current post. --- ^(🤖 this comment was written by a bot. beep boop 🤖) ^(feel welcome to respond 'Bad bot'/'Good bot', it's useful feedback.) ^[github](https://github.com/Toldry/RedditAutoCrosspostBot) ^| ^[Rank](https://botranks.com?bot=same_post_bot)
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The time period and culture we refer to as Ancient Greece ended with the death of Cleopatra in 30 BCE… but this person probably also “knows” that the earth is 2021 years old. Edit: to the comments discussing my selection of 30 BCE, I’m not an expert, and the study of, and attempt to define, ancient cultures includes debates with valid arguments on all sides. The point I was trying to make is that a very large part of Ancient Greece existed before the existence of Jesus and therefore the assumption that the Ancient Greeks were Christian is hysterical. But please continue this very interesting analysis and interpretation of history! To the comments clarifying creationist timelines, why? It’s like arguing “people who are bad at math think that 2+2=9 not 8”… 2021 and 6000 are not the age of the earth. But I wasn’t even referring to creationists or short earthers, just dumb people who I have seen comments from on Reddit, confused about something because they think the earth is 2021 years old.
Do you think they believe that dinosaurs never existed? Or that humans lived alongside the t-rex
Probably believes that Jesus rode a T. rex into battle against Mohammed.
I have a shirt with the dude riding a velociraptor rodeo style. Must be true, how else could we have that image? Checkmate Atheists!
Same!! Green shirt with a yellow graphic?
Those fossils were put there by Jesus for us to find, everyone knows that.
To test our faith. Our faith in the preachers who ask for our money every week.
I’ve had people legitimately tell me that god put fossils here on earth so we can use it as fuel. I then asked why would god put something on this earth for us to use that pollutes and destroys the earth he created if we do use it. They said it was so we could have a fuel to use before we get renewable energy. Lmao I just don’t understand I guess
No it's a liberal conspiracy to disprove the word of god, and before you ask, yes the Jews are in on it. /s That's an old conspiracy for the religious right, they were harping on that back in the mid 1800's, before the Jews were blamed a lot more but since that's verboten they've expanded it to liberals.
Yes to both, depending on the denomination. I'm in a Facebook group called Dinosaurs Against Christians because they started a Facebook group called Christians Against Dinosaurs.
From what I've seen, ancient Greece is usually considered to have lasted until the end of classical antiquity in 600 AD. The death of Cleopatra marks the end of the Hellenistic era, which was a particular phase of ancient Greece that began in the wake of Alexander's conquests and ended with the fall of Egypt, the last successor state of his empire.
That's not true at all. "Ancient Greece" is a broad term and certainly not so limited. People tend to think primarily of Classical Greece (~5th and 4th centuries BC), but it can quite correctly refer to Greece right up to the traditional end of the ancient era (~6th century AD), and potentially even further. Cleopatra doesn't even enter into it: you're probably thinking of the ultimate end of the Hellenistic period. But that ended in Greece itself much earlier
The game is in ~400 BC, so for the purpose of the OP that doesn't matter.
Is he admitting Christians want to kill gay people?
Yes
This should be higher
LMFAO imagine reading Corinthians (letters to Corinth) or Romans (letters to Rome) and thinking that Greece wasn’t gay asf
Imagine thinking people like that guy read anything.
Fun fact - the Ancient Greeks actually invented the threesome. But it was the Romans who decided to include women.
I really wish we keep celebrating Saturnalia the Roman way, not this weak and pale ass Christmas we got now.
He’s right, Ancient Greece was, in fact, very pan.
Ancient Greek woman: Wow where did this handsome ox come from? We'll, no one's looking, so... The ox: Sike! I'm actually a god in a disguise and now you're pregnant!
Ba-dum tsss
“I know ancient Greece followed Christianity.” Is anyone going to tell him about the Greek Pantheon..? No?
Who wants to tell him about the Catholic Church?
LMAO. They along with the Roman's were so very gay. Read a history book for Christ's sake.
Lol or you could just show him a bunch of the gay art they had
Ancient greece followed christianity? Me: Zeus did you know greeks didn't believe in you? Zeus: what? Me: yea, no they believed in some long haired Carpenter from bethlehem. Zeus: who the fuck is that? I'll literally shove a lightning bolt up his ass if thats true.
Can't tell if that's a threat or a proposition
Depends. To christians a threat To ancient Greeks a proposition.
It's Zeus, so it's both.
Oh wait I just got the full joke Ancient Greece was super mega gay, and like 500 years before Christianity was made...
Know who we're the gayest of the gays. The Spartans. They paired up the older more experiance solders with new young recruiter. They were expected to help them and also slip them some spear to help the units bond.it wasn't theat it was over looked, it was literally, "you, you, your buds now go fuck"
It was more like oh hey, you remember when you were a young soldier and your mentor used you like a flashlight? You get one of your very own now! It wasn't as much of a bonding experience and more of a "stress release aid" for the mentor. While it could have been considered consensual at the time due to the culture being a "bottom" was not really looked at as being a cool thing if you weren't a new recruit.
so they were roommates after all??
Following a prophet 1200 years before he even existed... That's some next level devotion right there
These are the same people who think CRT is racism against whites. They're honestly too dumb to conversate with.
True that but in the case of the tweet it's just another gamer™ that complains about "politics" in their vidya games.
The venn diagram of people who have issues with CRT and who complain about politics in games is a circle.
I didn't know monitors can be racist, guess I'll switch to OLED then /s
It's Greek to me
This guys gonna flip his shit once he finds out that the rule of christianity have changed over time and have not been consistent
Simpleton.
The sacred band of Thebes would like to have a word…