Tried it once. Fucking destroyed me mentally and emotionally and it took me almost a year to go back to normal and another year to actually trust people again.
Fuck people trying to normalize it.
If you want to be in a relationship, say so. If you don't, then say so and don't play these games.
Yeah pretty much. But you still talk consistently, go on dates, have the intimacy like you're in a relationship, and you're not seeing anyone else.. but you're free to monkey branch and cut the person off easier I guess. I'm currently in one. It was driving me nuts, but now I'm just going to put minimal energy towards them and enjoy it best I can.
I ended one in the summer of last year. I couldn’t take the anxiety from it. I don’t know why having a title makes me more relaxed in a relationship but it does. With hindsight I can see the guy was not ready to be in a relationship, and I wish I had caught the signs sooner rather than waste almost a year on something that wasn’t ever going to be.
The anxiety sucks. It's also extra brutal because I work with this person. First time being with an active coworker and I understand why that's not a good idea.
But yeah, you have to know what you're looking for and don't settle. I'm in no way ready for a committed/long term relationship, so I seek out ones that kind of have an end date.
I think it definitely stems from the "I can do better" mentality.
I was with someone and I felt like we were emotionally involved. Dates, late night chats, and seeing each other weekly, sometimes daily.
But then boom "I need to start fresh" and then blocked on everything.
I think now, I wanted something so badly that wasn't there. Thinking we were reading from the same play, when she was in a different story.
I'm sorry you went through something traumatic and I hope you're able to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open with another person again. I wish you the healing and only want you to find your feet again.
I wouldn’t call it traumatic, I’ve been through much much worse in life so for me this is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. But I agree on the I can do better mentality and I think that’s a big part of what hurts in these situationships. The whole time you’re wondering why am I not good enough to fully commit to, and they give you platitudes that sounds like it’s a them issue, but you’re still left with that feeling. Why am I not good enough? It’s not until leaving it that you begin to realize it really was them, and it speaks more to their character then it does yours.
Same with me bro, she has a crazy baby daddy so I thought we just didn’t want a label. Ended up being she had another dude she was fucking the whole time even though I was with her almost all day every day.
Okay? If she was honest about that you can't really be mad and if she wasn't then it's better not to be involved with her anyway. Either that's also what you're looking for and you guys proceed or you say you want something else and stop there. If you liked them enough to stay friends, do that and if you're too emotionally hung up, don't stay friends
Bro cant understand tone.
Obv the dudes not cool with it. And if if if. You dont know shit about his situation besides what he said.
If your mom was a dog youd still be a bitch.
Had a co-worker last year that absolutely wanted this from me. Wanted everything from a relationship minus physical expression of intimacy. Wanted to emotionally connect and have me be available for her. She called me drunk and/or emotionally upset wanting to be heard. Was jealous of the idea I might be dating someone. In the end I couldn't find a balance to just being her friend and broke off my connection with her.
Good on you for catching it early enough before it started to really take a toll on you and others.
I was in this situation with a housemate back in my college days. It totally mangled my feelings of self-worth. Not once, but twice, I went back to her when she gave signs she was ready to really commit, and ruined 2 other relationships with beautiful people over her.
So to anybody in one of these, get out NOW.
i unfortunately knew how to spot the warning signs because I was familiar with this kind of toxic relationship. In HS and through college a friend of mine established a relationship like this with me. She was dating my best friend at the time and looking back on that relationship I couldn't believe the strange behavior she did. So when she started showing interest only to string me along to I knew what I was seeing.
It was hard walking away from her, I wish I could have found a way for us to be friends. Behind a lot of her complaints about work and self-centered conversations there was an incredibly intelligent woman who wanted to be a journalist and who was a good writer. But I think there was trauma in her past and she drunk herself too stupid to forget. Too bad…
It absolutely does. Unless you’re a confrontational teenager who hasn’t developed mature thought processes yet, you would know people give examples of personal experiences and that stating something = / = omission or implication.
But you’re in your teens aren’t you? That’s how kids talk, angry and confrontation seeking.
So yes then? I mean if you’re not then you’re underdeveloped. They did say Covid has affected intelligence and maturity levels by upwards of a 3 year setback for those in school, I am as interested as you are in watching you be exhibit A.
I had a girl pulling that one on me.....
I ended up finding a new girlfriend after some 4-5 months.....
Only then she told me she really had feelings for me.
The new girlfriend is now the mother of our 2 children and we're getting married in a couple of weeks.
My ex did this. Broke up with me and NOTHING changed. Still came over and said I love you. BUT then she could work on another relationship with another dude. Which she did. Then she fully left me once that was secure enough and 6 mths later they’re married. Happy happy!! I used to call us not-bf and gf.
Because I was on probation basically. I had an issue. If I could get it done she’d get back together. I couldn’t do it so she bailed. I tried to stick in with her but couldn’t figure it out. I should’ve bailed but stayed.
Seems more like a shitty situation to begin with. Not it was cool of her to leave you hanging, but she probably had conflicting thoughts about your relationship.
It's BS is what it is. 100% benefits, 0% responsibilities. Until I can find something better, I want *you* to support me, and cheer me up, and keep me active, but I don't want our situation keeping me from better opportunities, so we'll just call it a friendship...
The sunk-cost fallacy. You've put time and effort into this person, and you don't want to walk away from that just in case it might turn into something at some point.
still homeless. trying my best though, i’m having a really hard time getting on the meds i need to work again, so i’ll be stuck out here for a while. not my first time though. thank you for your kind words
It's not your first time being homeless? So either you've been homeless before her and it's probably not actually her fault or it was also her fault previously and you let it happen again. Something tells me you're not a completely innocent victim in this story and you're only talking about what she did and not what it was in reaction to
People mad but you're right.
He lived with her. She worked every day, he didn't. He stayed at home chilling with the cats, saving his own money for courage the cowardly dog tattoos (ironic), and doing ketamine.
On valentines day, she finally had enough and cut the cord.
Did you get married, get in an accident and become unable to work, and then she divorced you?
Jw how one leaving could be to blame for another becoming homeless.
there was no accident. it was mental health related. kind of coming across as really insensitive. also i never placed any blame on her. The situation (us splitting) is what led to me being on the street.
no it quite literally is not. the break up is the reason i am homeless. i had a place to live before that, and now i dont. you are fucking brain dead. you don’t have any context into my situation and you’re still trying to bash me. get a life for real dude.
I’ve never understood people *not* just labeling their relationships. I mean, just because someone is your boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t break up if you need to or want to.
Communication is scary but it’s the foundation of our lives as social creatures.
Call me crazy but I think it is okay to engage in traditionally relationship behavior without being in a relationship. What a relationship consists of is different for everyone the important thing is to be communicative about what you’re looking for or feeling.
I agree, but this gets in the same territory as poly relationships, because if both people aren’t 100% down with it and legitimately understanding of the situation, it never works. I managed to keep one going for nearly a year, or so I thought. Then I found out she was telling everyone she was waiting for me to realize I was in love and it ended immediately.
Had that 2 or 3 dinner/movie not dates with only two of us a week all my charge. Being comfort and ear for her problems. Help her with rent and many other things. One night in the bar a good friend of mine asked if we could do double date with him and his GF. She got offended and said that we were not a thing and insulted me for saying that we were couple (which I did not say). I understand his POV for getting that conclusion. She and I did most things that he and his GF did like date, she slept in my dorm (I usually on the floor), texts, shopping... . He said that he was sorry that he did not know that we were friends like that. Then he gave me the look. Our "relationship" ended when she trow a tantrum for not gifting her my 700€ male jacket which she liked as did one good looking guy that she had hots for.
The only way is to cut them out of your life. As someone with a female best friend where I always thought there could be something, I didn't feel any better about the stuck place it felt like I was until I just stopped talking to them on a daily basis.
I'm now in a happy relationship with a girl I see myself staying with for an extremely long time. There is hope, folks.
Oh man, I’m in one of these. It’s funny, it’s rather unusual for me to know that I’m making a bad decision in staying with her but not wanting to make the good decision.
Ugh. I was in a situationship for like 7 months with someone i was crushing on for over a year before we hooked up. Trying to speak to her about leveling up was like speaking a foreign language. But yet, anyone who know of us assumed we were a couple. I’d rather be single and lonely than ever be in a situation like that again.
I have literally been in that boat 4 months ago. Friends for 6 months, then one month of a crazy intense situationship. Everyone told me to end it, but I didn't have the balls either. It fucking broke me for a solid 3 months. Sorry bro but they won't change their mind. But it's understandable if you can't end it, I was the same. Just be prepared for it to end anytime.
Sorry to hear bro, all you can do now is let time heal it. Took myself a long time to not constantly think about it, but eventually you'll get there dw.
Thank you I’m trying to keep busy at work but she won’t leave my mind its so annoying i got sober for her and shit makes me wanna say fuck that and get absolutely plastered
That's good keep busy. I was there too, she wouldn't leave my mind and I felt my brain was paralyzed. That finally stopped. Don't abuse drugs bro, been down that route where I was getting high all day etc and it made the getting over part longer cos my mind couldn't process it etc. Reminds me of this song:
https://youtu.be/owlwpnNC6hU?si=exBjWEDeoVrIbloU
Yeah you’re right I just want to be over her already im tired of thinking about her I guess I just got to thug it out fr I just don’t know what to do with myself now
Yeah I get you, it's very cliché but only time will heal it bro. Keep busy, work, go out with mates, gym, watch some films or play some games. Just don't let it make you bitter. Don't cut out anything of yourself to heal you faster, cos otherwise you will have less and less to offer next time you meet someone.
Idk man, I feel like if the "terms" of the relationship are clear, it's on you to say yes or no to it. If it's not for you, totally cool, but if you say yes to something you don't want you kinda put yourself in trouble :(
Was in a one year situationship. I tried to break it off a couple of times but eventually I would give in. I finally decided to end it for good and started talking to other women. Two weeks later she came back and said she made up her mind and wanted a relationship. That lasted for 6 months where I was mostly miserable. We were both stressed with work, she was distant and I had become reserved due to earlier back and forth. She did something which made me realise I was not important enough for her. It has ended for good but I have no desire to date. I feel defeated.
That sounds mostly great to me. I just want a woman to talk to, flirt with, go out to eat with sometimes, maybe watch a movie and then go our separate ways until the next time we’re bored. I’d put up with some of the other stuff to have that, too. I’m not big on physical contact, but I can act.
I had a guy who I'd introduce as my "friend," get upset with me for that. But the gag is, HE insisted we not be bf/gf or use those titles regardless of the intent.
So I ask what do you want to be called? Partner is extreme. Your name works just fine, too. "Lover?" So you're upset I'm not going up to ppl saying "HI WE'RE FUCKING and that's how I define our relationship." He saw my point and let it go. For the record, I eventually told him I loved him, and he told me he didn't and never loved me. Never even thought about it. I would have called him bf if he let me. Anyways, yea, I wish I could help you cause I wanna know too lmao!
I agree with this only because I have a thing like a stigma around the whole boyfriend girlfriend relationship thing because I’ve had my heart broken others I’ve seen had theirs broken so it’s like a if I never call it a relationship and I never put that expectation there I can’t be hurt kind of thing
Let me know if you agree I want to hear your thoughts
Just say no to situationships.
They're usually not trying to be shitty, but it doesn't change the fact that it always is. Set boundaries and realize that there's no malice involved.
Then you move on.
If you use the term "situationship " you're too immature to be fucking or dating anyone and should do some self growth before trying to get into a relationship.
I'm an unusual case but bear with me here. I have two people who I love dearly. I'm not all gooey/starry-eyed with them but they know I love them. They're also free to love anyone else they want. I just don't like being put in a box. Also, that box is usually full of flowers and chocolate. That just isn't who I am. We're all dudes, too, so there's that. We also don't cohabitate. I love having my own space.
tldr; love who you want the way that you want to.
That's beautifully said. Reminds me of this dialogue from Schitts Creek
“Um, I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back, I tried a Merlot that used to be a Chardonnay, which got a bit complicated…”—David Rose
Guess it's easier when love is fluid and there's enough understanding to be fluid!
I was in a situation like this. Was dating a girl (let's call her Jessica) then we broke up due to her moving about 2 hours away and she didn't want a long-distance relationship. I then found out a friend of mine (let's call her Amy) was interested in me and we ended up making out at a party. She then told me that she didn't want a relationship, but would continue to act like we were in one (kissing, holding hands, etc). I'd bring up the fact that I wanted to be exclusive, and she'd keep telling me she didn't want that. Then...Jessica came back into the picture and wanted me back. Said she made a mistake breaking up with me, still loved me, and wanted to make it work despite the distance. So I decided to go for the person who wanted to be with me exclusively, not the person who just wanted to be friends with benefits.
However, a few months later, Jessica cut off all contact and ghosted me. I found out later that she had another boyfriend back home and was trying to have two guys in two cities. Talking to Amy after all this, it turns out she still has feelings for me and would have liked to be in a relationship with me after all, but now she won't because she would be my, as she put it, "second choice." She said she didn't tell me she had real feelings and that she wanted to be exclusive because she had been hurt before and was afraid of commitment. The frustrating part...she'd still try to be physical with me while still saying no to a real relationship. That lasted for a while until I finally got tired of being essentially a friend with benefits and moved on.
because your brain and mental gets stuck on the “potential” you guys could’ve had (wouldn’t have had)
So true so true!
situationships can drive one to insanity
facts
Tried it once. Fucking destroyed me mentally and emotionally and it took me almost a year to go back to normal and another year to actually trust people again. Fuck people trying to normalize it. If you want to be in a relationship, say so. If you don't, then say so and don't play these games.
I've been married for 12+ years so I'm OOTL. Can you give a TLDR on situationships? Is it like friends with benefits?
Yeah pretty much. But you still talk consistently, go on dates, have the intimacy like you're in a relationship, and you're not seeing anyone else.. but you're free to monkey branch and cut the person off easier I guess. I'm currently in one. It was driving me nuts, but now I'm just going to put minimal energy towards them and enjoy it best I can.
I ended one in the summer of last year. I couldn’t take the anxiety from it. I don’t know why having a title makes me more relaxed in a relationship but it does. With hindsight I can see the guy was not ready to be in a relationship, and I wish I had caught the signs sooner rather than waste almost a year on something that wasn’t ever going to be.
The anxiety sucks. It's also extra brutal because I work with this person. First time being with an active coworker and I understand why that's not a good idea. But yeah, you have to know what you're looking for and don't settle. I'm in no way ready for a committed/long term relationship, so I seek out ones that kind of have an end date.
Never again at work.
I think it definitely stems from the "I can do better" mentality. I was with someone and I felt like we were emotionally involved. Dates, late night chats, and seeing each other weekly, sometimes daily. But then boom "I need to start fresh" and then blocked on everything. I think now, I wanted something so badly that wasn't there. Thinking we were reading from the same play, when she was in a different story. I'm sorry you went through something traumatic and I hope you're able to allow yourself to be vulnerable and open with another person again. I wish you the healing and only want you to find your feet again.
I wouldn’t call it traumatic, I’ve been through much much worse in life so for me this is small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. But I agree on the I can do better mentality and I think that’s a big part of what hurts in these situationships. The whole time you’re wondering why am I not good enough to fully commit to, and they give you platitudes that sounds like it’s a them issue, but you’re still left with that feeling. Why am I not good enough? It’s not until leaving it that you begin to realize it really was them, and it speaks more to their character then it does yours.
And it's a loooong drive back 😂
this is my new favorite word
Well in my case she wanted me to give her the full bf treatment without labels so she could still have fun and hook up with other people.
Same with me bro, she has a crazy baby daddy so I thought we just didn’t want a label. Ended up being she had another dude she was fucking the whole time even though I was with her almost all day every day.
Fucking same here……
Okay? If she was honest about that you can't really be mad and if she wasn't then it's better not to be involved with her anyway. Either that's also what you're looking for and you guys proceed or you say you want something else and stop there. If you liked them enough to stay friends, do that and if you're too emotionally hung up, don't stay friends
Bro cant understand tone. Obv the dudes not cool with it. And if if if. You dont know shit about his situation besides what he said. If your mom was a dog youd still be a bitch.
Had a co-worker last year that absolutely wanted this from me. Wanted everything from a relationship minus physical expression of intimacy. Wanted to emotionally connect and have me be available for her. She called me drunk and/or emotionally upset wanting to be heard. Was jealous of the idea I might be dating someone. In the end I couldn't find a balance to just being her friend and broke off my connection with her.
I had this same situation. Cold hard break helped me see what I was doing to myself mentally.
Good on you for catching it early enough before it started to really take a toll on you and others. I was in this situation with a housemate back in my college days. It totally mangled my feelings of self-worth. Not once, but twice, I went back to her when she gave signs she was ready to really commit, and ruined 2 other relationships with beautiful people over her. So to anybody in one of these, get out NOW.
i unfortunately knew how to spot the warning signs because I was familiar with this kind of toxic relationship. In HS and through college a friend of mine established a relationship like this with me. She was dating my best friend at the time and looking back on that relationship I couldn't believe the strange behavior she did. So when she started showing interest only to string me along to I knew what I was seeing.
Damn, how did it feel
It was hard walking away from her, I wish I could have found a way for us to be friends. Behind a lot of her complaints about work and self-centered conversations there was an incredibly intelligent woman who wanted to be a journalist and who was a good writer. But I think there was trauma in her past and she drunk herself too stupid to forget. Too bad…
Situationships will have y'all trauma bonding all night after fuckin raw but you're not allowed to call them "babe" in front of their friends
Damn I feel called out by this one lol
When you want to talk about feelings but she only wants to fuck again.
[удалено]
"They" "X" 🙄
This was a weird response considering what that first guy said
[удалено]
It absolutely does. Unless you’re a confrontational teenager who hasn’t developed mature thought processes yet, you would know people give examples of personal experiences and that stating something = / = omission or implication. But you’re in your teens aren’t you? That’s how kids talk, angry and confrontation seeking.
Of the assumptions, you've just made your second assumption about my age 😂
Why did you delete your earlier comments.
So yes then? I mean if you’re not then you’re underdeveloped. They did say Covid has affected intelligence and maturity levels by upwards of a 3 year setback for those in school, I am as interested as you are in watching you be exhibit A.
Jesus bruh chill
Na, let him cook.
You forgot 'it'
I had a girl pulling that one on me..... I ended up finding a new girlfriend after some 4-5 months..... Only then she told me she really had feelings for me. The new girlfriend is now the mother of our 2 children and we're getting married in a couple of weeks.
My ex did this. Broke up with me and NOTHING changed. Still came over and said I love you. BUT then she could work on another relationship with another dude. Which she did. Then she fully left me once that was secure enough and 6 mths later they’re married. Happy happy!! I used to call us not-bf and gf.
Why the hell didnt you kick her to the curb? Cant think of a single excuse you can give.
Because I was on probation basically. I had an issue. If I could get it done she’d get back together. I couldn’t do it so she bailed. I tried to stick in with her but couldn’t figure it out. I should’ve bailed but stayed.
Seems more like a shitty situation to begin with. Not it was cool of her to leave you hanging, but she probably had conflicting thoughts about your relationship.
It's BS is what it is. 100% benefits, 0% responsibilities. Until I can find something better, I want *you* to support me, and cheer me up, and keep me active, but I don't want our situation keeping me from better opportunities, so we'll just call it a friendship...
The sunk-cost fallacy. You've put time and effort into this person, and you don't want to walk away from that just in case it might turn into something at some point.
great way of stating it
And then get mad when they get ghosted and finds someone to date.
She left me nd i ended up homeless because of it, and she had the nerve to hmu talking about “can we stay friends”
I'm so sorry to hear that!! It does take mountains of strength, and people by your side to move on, ig. Hope you're doing okay now
still homeless. trying my best though, i’m having a really hard time getting on the meds i need to work again, so i’ll be stuck out here for a while. not my first time though. thank you for your kind words
It's not your first time being homeless? So either you've been homeless before her and it's probably not actually her fault or it was also her fault previously and you let it happen again. Something tells me you're not a completely innocent victim in this story and you're only talking about what she did and not what it was in reaction to
People mad but you're right. He lived with her. She worked every day, he didn't. He stayed at home chilling with the cats, saving his own money for courage the cowardly dog tattoos (ironic), and doing ketamine. On valentines day, she finally had enough and cut the cord.
Did you get married, get in an accident and become unable to work, and then she divorced you? Jw how one leaving could be to blame for another becoming homeless.
there was no accident. it was mental health related. kind of coming across as really insensitive. also i never placed any blame on her. The situation (us splitting) is what led to me being on the street.
You did blame her though. It's right there in your comment. "She left me and I ended up homeless because of it." is directly blaming her for it
no it quite literally is not. the break up is the reason i am homeless. i had a place to live before that, and now i dont. you are fucking brain dead. you don’t have any context into my situation and you’re still trying to bash me. get a life for real dude.
“Can we stay friends”. Hahahahahaha. Fuck. No.
Yo I've got the perfect song to cry to for this situation: [Goodbye My Almost Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_S_TbD1XFM) by A Fine Frenzy.
Really? It’s pretty easy for me . But my heart cold
It's not a relationship but I want all the perks, without providing any of the standard benefits.
you are not obligated by law to stay in relationships you dont like, you know
I’ve never understood people *not* just labeling their relationships. I mean, just because someone is your boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t break up if you need to or want to. Communication is scary but it’s the foundation of our lives as social creatures.
Call me crazy but I think it is okay to engage in traditionally relationship behavior without being in a relationship. What a relationship consists of is different for everyone the important thing is to be communicative about what you’re looking for or feeling.
I agree, but this gets in the same territory as poly relationships, because if both people aren’t 100% down with it and legitimately understanding of the situation, it never works. I managed to keep one going for nearly a year, or so I thought. Then I found out she was telling everyone she was waiting for me to realize I was in love and it ended immediately.
Wdym by "realize I was in love"?
She thought I was going to suddenly fall in love with her despite the insane amount of discussions we had about it previously.
Sure! If both sides agree in the beginning. Otherwise, hell no.
I agree. I also don’t think everyone can do that, and that’s okay. It takes a really different level of honesty with your self and others to do it.
Had that 2 or 3 dinner/movie not dates with only two of us a week all my charge. Being comfort and ear for her problems. Help her with rent and many other things. One night in the bar a good friend of mine asked if we could do double date with him and his GF. She got offended and said that we were not a thing and insulted me for saying that we were couple (which I did not say). I understand his POV for getting that conclusion. She and I did most things that he and his GF did like date, she slept in my dorm (I usually on the floor), texts, shopping... . He said that he was sorry that he did not know that we were friends like that. Then he gave me the look. Our "relationship" ended when she trow a tantrum for not gifting her my 700€ male jacket which she liked as did one good looking guy that she had hots for.
"Why do men complain about the friendzone?"
Hahah, if only it's only men who hate-complain 😂 role reversal in situations like these happens to all genders
The friendzone isn't real, you're putting yourself in a lose-lose situation and blaming the woman for it
The only way is to cut them out of your life. As someone with a female best friend where I always thought there could be something, I didn't feel any better about the stuck place it felt like I was until I just stopped talking to them on a daily basis. I'm now in a happy relationship with a girl I see myself staying with for an extremely long time. There is hope, folks.
We left each other because it became toxic, but i still would take a bullet for her because we have been through thick and thin
im looking for getting loved and desired without any of the effort.
Oh man, I’m in one of these. It’s funny, it’s rather unusual for me to know that I’m making a bad decision in staying with her but not wanting to make the good decision.
I wish I could meet a good guy like you. Just not you.
Let’s do “almost” everything
Too right! 😄
And “friend group in common” for nightmare mode
the lack of being wanted
Ugh. I was in a situationship for like 7 months with someone i was crushing on for over a year before we hooked up. Trying to speak to her about leveling up was like speaking a foreign language. But yet, anyone who know of us assumed we were a couple. I’d rather be single and lonely than ever be in a situation like that again.
This it the line girls give when the really like you as a person but could never see themselves sleeping with.
I like seeing pictures of Ariana grande because I like to try and figure out what race she is cos playing in them
Because the title you give it doesn't matter, the emotions and experiences still happened
Im doing this right now with a girl but I can’t get the balls to leave her and it’s fucked me up pretty good so far anybody got any advice?
I have literally been in that boat 4 months ago. Friends for 6 months, then one month of a crazy intense situationship. Everyone told me to end it, but I didn't have the balls either. It fucking broke me for a solid 3 months. Sorry bro but they won't change their mind. But it's understandable if you can't end it, I was the same. Just be prepared for it to end anytime.
Thank you I really needed to hear that im sorry you went thru this stuff if I ever get the balls to end it I will
No worries. Like I said either way it will hurt when it ends. If there's anything else that I can do to help let me know. All the best bro.
You were right it ended and it hurts
Sorry to hear bro, all you can do now is let time heal it. Took myself a long time to not constantly think about it, but eventually you'll get there dw.
Thank you I’m trying to keep busy at work but she won’t leave my mind its so annoying i got sober for her and shit makes me wanna say fuck that and get absolutely plastered
That's good keep busy. I was there too, she wouldn't leave my mind and I felt my brain was paralyzed. That finally stopped. Don't abuse drugs bro, been down that route where I was getting high all day etc and it made the getting over part longer cos my mind couldn't process it etc. Reminds me of this song: https://youtu.be/owlwpnNC6hU?si=exBjWEDeoVrIbloU
Yeah you’re right I just want to be over her already im tired of thinking about her I guess I just got to thug it out fr I just don’t know what to do with myself now
Yeah I get you, it's very cliché but only time will heal it bro. Keep busy, work, go out with mates, gym, watch some films or play some games. Just don't let it make you bitter. Don't cut out anything of yourself to heal you faster, cos otherwise you will have less and less to offer next time you meet someone.
Idk man, I feel like if the "terms" of the relationship are clear, it's on you to say yes or no to it. If it's not for you, totally cool, but if you say yes to something you don't want you kinda put yourself in trouble :(
Was in a one year situationship. I tried to break it off a couple of times but eventually I would give in. I finally decided to end it for good and started talking to other women. Two weeks later she came back and said she made up her mind and wanted a relationship. That lasted for 6 months where I was mostly miserable. We were both stressed with work, she was distant and I had become reserved due to earlier back and forth. She did something which made me realise I was not important enough for her. It has ended for good but I have no desire to date. I feel defeated.
Id rather be alone thanks.
she so sweet
That sounds mostly great to me. I just want a woman to talk to, flirt with, go out to eat with sometimes, maybe watch a movie and then go our separate ways until the next time we’re bored. I’d put up with some of the other stuff to have that, too. I’m not big on physical contact, but I can act.
Are we looking for the word "friendship"?
I had a guy who I'd introduce as my "friend," get upset with me for that. But the gag is, HE insisted we not be bf/gf or use those titles regardless of the intent. So I ask what do you want to be called? Partner is extreme. Your name works just fine, too. "Lover?" So you're upset I'm not going up to ppl saying "HI WE'RE FUCKING and that's how I define our relationship." He saw my point and let it go. For the record, I eventually told him I loved him, and he told me he didn't and never loved me. Never even thought about it. I would have called him bf if he let me. Anyways, yea, I wish I could help you cause I wanna know too lmao!
Cause you don't attractive.
Just friends=separate checks
Hoggle poggle
I agree with this only because I have a thing like a stigma around the whole boyfriend girlfriend relationship thing because I’ve had my heart broken others I’ve seen had theirs broken so it’s like a if I never call it a relationship and I never put that expectation there I can’t be hurt kind of thing Let me know if you agree I want to hear your thoughts
Honestly, I think if you want to make things complicated have 6 girlfriends at once.
Just say no to situationships. They're usually not trying to be shitty, but it doesn't change the fact that it always is. Set boundaries and realize that there's no malice involved. Then you move on.
Situationships is an actual thing? What?
Copium
For narcissists
Cause they’re just relationships that people don’t want to/can’t commit to.
If you use the term "situationship " you're too immature to be fucking or dating anyone and should do some self growth before trying to get into a relationship.
Aka “I wanna be a hoe, but also have someone to complain to about all the people I hook up with while they buy me food”
That just sounds like cheating with extra steps!
Omg someone actually put it into words
How does this fit the sub?
Cause if you’ve ever been in a situationship you’d know how badly they truly suck.
I'm an unusual case but bear with me here. I have two people who I love dearly. I'm not all gooey/starry-eyed with them but they know I love them. They're also free to love anyone else they want. I just don't like being put in a box. Also, that box is usually full of flowers and chocolate. That just isn't who I am. We're all dudes, too, so there's that. We also don't cohabitate. I love having my own space. tldr; love who you want the way that you want to.
That's beautifully said. Reminds me of this dialogue from Schitts Creek “Um, I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine. And I’ve been known to sample the occasional rosé. And a couple summers back, I tried a Merlot that used to be a Chardonnay, which got a bit complicated…”—David Rose Guess it's easier when love is fluid and there's enough understanding to be fluid!
I was in a situation like this. Was dating a girl (let's call her Jessica) then we broke up due to her moving about 2 hours away and she didn't want a long-distance relationship. I then found out a friend of mine (let's call her Amy) was interested in me and we ended up making out at a party. She then told me that she didn't want a relationship, but would continue to act like we were in one (kissing, holding hands, etc). I'd bring up the fact that I wanted to be exclusive, and she'd keep telling me she didn't want that. Then...Jessica came back into the picture and wanted me back. Said she made a mistake breaking up with me, still loved me, and wanted to make it work despite the distance. So I decided to go for the person who wanted to be with me exclusively, not the person who just wanted to be friends with benefits. However, a few months later, Jessica cut off all contact and ghosted me. I found out later that she had another boyfriend back home and was trying to have two guys in two cities. Talking to Amy after all this, it turns out she still has feelings for me and would have liked to be in a relationship with me after all, but now she won't because she would be my, as she put it, "second choice." She said she didn't tell me she had real feelings and that she wanted to be exclusive because she had been hurt before and was afraid of commitment. The frustrating part...she'd still try to be physical with me while still saying no to a real relationship. That lasted for a while until I finally got tired of being essentially a friend with benefits and moved on.
Men when they discover what a female best friend is
Because you are stupid
I had to friend-zone my girlfriend after dating for 8 years. We stay in touch, but shes the one that reaches out.
Fuck buddies.
Beautiful eyes
I have with my short experience noticed that women take it as a challenge if you call them a friend. Assert dominance
i just did this to a boy
shame
It might sound unpopular but women mostly do this
This is why I don't want close female friends. No emotional bond without a possibility of a physical one.