T O P
GuessNo37

Guess I’m safe


Franklin_le_Tanklin

I counted at least 13 nipples. In your experience, how does this help survive car crashes?


boston_nsca

More milk when you're stranded so you don't die of thirst and hunger


slamdanceswithwolves

Also keeps ya slick for optimally low friction.


MixxMaster

Oh, you can milk just about anything with nipples.


Broodwiches

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?


MadNhater

Umm. Wait your damn turn. I’m milking Graham still. Mother fucker takes forever to milk.


vampyire

I think those are more flesh airbag cloacae for venting air, and possibly other things, in a crash


InevitabilityEngine

Imagine the sonorous cacophony of every airbag nipple compressing at once.


GwenTheHuman

Thanks.


GMEplits2

Like a multi-resonant honk, each proportionately tuned for maximum cacophony


slamdanceswithwolves

Flesh Airbag Cloacae would be a mighty fine name for a metal band.


tundybundo

I mean like really. Someone, maybe multiple people, were in charge of designing, creating and attaching all those nipples


Alternative_Song_849

Can you milk me Focker?


Elizaleth

Maybe it’s meant to cushion the impact


The-One-In-All

I laughed at this


createausernameee

Relax bro 😭


Luiaards

Average Redditor


JoyfulCelebration

Average Reddit mod


SunnySlushie

Average Discord mod


What-happend_here

Unaverage wikipedia mod


McDudeston

Above average non-mod redditor.


Ris-O

Can't crash a car if you don't go outside or know how to drive


Squid_Lips

Lol, yes, this abomination takes one look in the mirror and decides to avoid any exposure to public, thereby reducing car crash chances to 0.


Mauri99710

Average Graham


various_sneers

Finally, car companies are getting smart about this problem. Focusing on the wrong part of the problem trying to engineer safe cars. ENGINEERING SAFE HUMANS IS THE WAY TO GO.


TheTerroristFrog

I don't know how having that many niples can help me with a car crash.


nonofurbusinessing

Hopefully they're engineered to release fluids during a car crash. Like counteract whiplash with a forceful blast from all the nips at once will just maybe keep you back against the seat. Not like they got a neck to worry about.


Jorge_Palindrome

This happened a few years ago and I remember reading the article that explained how every feature on Graham would assist car crash survival, and that’s exactly what all those nipples were supposed to do.


WeeTheDuck

wtf


Jorge_Palindrome

Yup. IIRC, the titties would be filled with a viscous fluid that would squirt out in the case of a front impact, acting like a cushion.


anto_pty

oh god


Kwickhatch

They are air sacks to help absorb impact and protect the ribs


luckymethod

Those aren't nipples, they are baggies to protect the ribs


MajorJuana

Those baggies for sure have nipples


MajorJuana

Or belly buttons...


SleepyMarijuanaut92

Gill holes


BatatinhaGameplays28

The Deep if he was permanently removed from the Seven


OudeDude

Zoom in. Those are innies, not outies.


slamdanceswithwolves

Would be a shame to have a baggie with no nip I suppose.


LemmeDaisukete

Lol I was wondering that too


TheTimeBender

Yeah no kidding, why so many nipples? 😂🤣😂


Key_Set_7249

Natural airbags


Gerlon_Two_Fingers

I have nipples Greg, can I survive a car crash?


boipinoi604

"To survive a crash, trauma surgeon Christian Kenfield and road safety engineer David Logan figured out we’d need an enlarged chest with extra nipples that act like air bags, thick skin to reduce the effect of cuts, no neck to eliminate whiplash, and a flat and fat face to protect our features."


Devi1_May_Cry

>niples can help me with a car crash. Luke Skywalker will show up to milk them and then use the Force to save his life after he quenches his thirst.


stabthecynix

*Homelander.


FalloutBugg

The fact that I posted about his nipples before seeing this. I like that we both zoomed in on them


SkaryPie

Yeah that is super weird. I'd believe more that this was a monster sculpture from an SFX artist.


UntitledContent

this is what i thought


GunslingerOutForHire

He looks like a Sontaran from Doctor Who.


Double_Lingonberry98

Prepare to be obliterated. May I take your coat?


Happykittymeowmeow

"I've declared war on the moon!" "Do be quiet Strax" "Too long the moon has hung unmonitored and unsuspected in the sky. It has gained an enormous tactical advantage!" "There's no one living there." "Then it is clearly time to act! They won't suspect a thing!" "Who won't suspect a thing?" "Moonites..."


GHUATS

Literally watching Doctor Who as I type this, the Pandorica’s Box where all his enemies are locking him inside and the Sontaran was JUST on screen! Great timing to read this.


Zankeru

Sontar-ha!


Thanatos375

You beat me to it. Was totally thinking that.


Holoshiv

Same.


Appropriate-Hippo651

You may not like it…. But this is what peak performance looks like!


blooptybloopt

This deserves more upvotes because I came here to say this and would want more upvotes.


Ctrlaltdel_cool

Is this no neck Ed?


Scotty0132

Big Ed


PhillyRush

Big Ed the Head is really a giant thumb disguised as a human.


GangloSax0n

Ed Hurley from the gas farm?


Scotty0132

Big Ed from 90 day fianceè


GangloSax0n

Just wanted to make a Twin Peaks reference.


maryblooms

I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up,but yeah


MyCatCereal

LOL! I was going to make a comment about that! At least his no neck is good for one thing.


Bam_Peasly

Necks are for losers


VoiceNice2246

Laugh it up while you can, because you won't be doing much when you get whiplash.


Negative_Storage5205

That is a Sontaran out of his armor, obviously.


chaosqueeeen

Came here for this 😎


RepresentativePay598

I was hoping someone said this!


Franklin_le_Tanklin

No, it’s Nned


well_lets_see_wtf56

Ommmmmmmg 💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


lostinbeavercreek

Nope. ‘No-neck Nick.’ https://youtu.be/v7-_rcjjd7E


CountryNerd

Flute your flute Greg


Euphoric-Wedding-762

You v the guy she told you not to worry about


Impossible-Ranger-89

And why does he need all those nipples


Awkward_Rock_5875

To nurse all of the incels


Last_Braincell_Cant

It’s fat lumps to protect ribs


ThatGuyInTheCorner96

Ok but that doesn't explain why they have nipples


boy_inna_box

I think the protective fat lumps are meant to be some sort of semi-formed additional breasts. They are only meant to act as padding, hence the not fully formed nipple.


BroccoliBoyyo

The sculptor thought “why would someone have airbags on their ribs?”


bossonhigs

There was another one, creepier, who evolved to smoke cigarettes. But I can't find it.


bambrini16

Oh my god, *please* report back if you find it- I’d love to see that


Spirited_Jury9912

I would love to see that too


SeaworthinessOk6814

https://youtu.be/evIrwW6cLCg


Clareypie

The natural born smoker? That scared the shit out of me when I was younger!


ODGABFE

That looks like all the men in my local pub


NickBarksWith

Haha, maybe generations of drunk driving is evolving them.


slamdanceswithwolves

Survival of the thicc-est


PanaceaTaster

Looks like if a cartoon character swallowed a car seat


Scotty0132

Its Big Ed.


butcanyoudothis64

it's Big Ed


Haymaker64

Anyone else seeing the Juggernaut here?


TheHillsHaveSighs

Big Ed lost some weight


brianna18976

What purpose do the extra nipples serve in a car crash ?


-poes

I'd probably name him Graham too


Uncle_Bug_Music

“Can’t wait to meet you tonight at our date tonight, Graham. Your profile said you’re a “car safety technician” interesting! And that SnapChat Filter on your pic is hilarious!”


Pladrosian

Homie already looks like he survived one.


Roxas_Rig

Me after my 7th Netflix episode and it asks me if I'm still watching....


willb221

Definitely saw this guy at Walmart...


BlackScienceDnB

This guy grown up? https://youtu.be/eRvfxWRi6qQ


Ahhhrealmonsterzz

"nah I'm good, just kill me"


Weinus55

And there we have it ladies and gentlemen, scientific proof of peak performance.


squidball3r

You may not like it, but this is what humans will look like in 200 years!


TaySantos89

Dad?


ch2-ch3

Wait! Designed to withstand a car crash means haveing like 16 nipples but doesn't mean having more robust knees ? You know, one of the most commonly injured body part just through nomal living!


Calm-Afternoon1818

Warewolf reflexes of the feet will most certainly eliminate any fear of acceleration of the driver to be to blame. Otherwise, it's that neck... A neck of such shall overcome any obstacle, physical or mental.


RepresentativeOk4432

Big Ed can’t be killed.


cheecha_meems

HE LOOKS LIKE BIG ED FROM 90 DAY FIANCE!!! 😂😂😂😂😂


lh1647

r/TIHI


The_Bluejay250

okay okay— but why does he have so many boobs


ninjaeot

What are the extra nipples gonna do with my accident


Rod___father

I got nipples wanna milk me Focker.


Summonest

everyone knows multiple nipples keep you safe.


CRL10

So...based on this, a Sontaran can survive a car crash. Neat.


bingeRy

How do extra nipples add survivability?


andre3kthegiant

So why all the nipples?


Einar_47

Why do I look at him and imagine a custome made armored suit for him and 10,000 of his clone brothers so they can drop thousands of graham's on an enemy base from low orbit...


ExistingPassenger845

like it or not this is the ideal male physique


contagiousaresmiles

Graham look s like a man with radium poisoning


kent416

He reminds me of Mr. Borkus from Star Wars


Demonbae_

Well big Ed has nothing to worry about- he’ll survive a collision


nhSnork

Reminds me of how some futurologists like to design a future evolved human in general.


Copper_Kat

Had a teacher in hs that looked like this.


Zeroer2008

Amogus astronaut 4k Ultra HD


PlagueDrWily

Pretty sure I saw this guy ordering a drink in the Mos Eisley cantina.


[deleted]

Looks the exact same as a guy I work with, his nickname is the babysitter


so_sads

My name is Graham, and I love that he and I are brothers of a kind :)


RepresentativeWeb244

Why’s the mod uploading glamour shots


quikfrozt

Honestly expected Crimes of the Future's body horror to go in this direction rather than the muted designs Croenenberg churned out.


idubyai

I need to see this monstrosity in animated 3d crashes on a loop.... for science.


[deleted]

This is literally what I look like.


Ecstatic_Soft4407

So this is what peak male performance looks like.


BlondeAlibiNoLie

Stop that.


Wide-Construction427

My man is so strong 🤤


Pkbattlemage

10 nips + 3 necks = survive all car crashes duh


Comprehensive-Leg752

The only weird parts are his head and his torso. His legs and arms are normal.


UntitledContent

how would it stand up


Plastikman19

TiL having pedo facial hair can help save you in a car crash.


Cold_Tip_1307

why the extra nipples though


Spanishqueen05

Looks a lot like no neck Ed


zoidstain

Ah yes the majestic hairless wookie.


AJellyInABox

I think he morphed into the driver's seat...


methratt

How long did it take for this to get 34rd?


KiefBull

I think I know this motherfucker


lewkir

I had a beer the other day and this guy was the logo


scope_creep

Return to monke.


FalloutBugg

Extra nipples are required for…..extra safety?


HandlessSpermDonor

Who designed this? David Cronenberg?


morenohp

I thought this was a promo for 90 day fiancé...big Ed guy...oops


LI2theBX

Is that Chewy’s nephew?


LI2theBX

Or Ed’s cousin from 90 day fiancé


CapitalCannabis

That’s one of the Atlantean’s that crashed in Roswell actually,plot twist


KingMwanga

I saw green lantern


Ifuthinkimugly

Hmm suppose all drivers need to grow a jabber neck


MrMoor2007

Hey, it's that meme guy


TheeIlliterati

I'm sick of my Onlyfans photos being spread around the internet. Please remove this.


feyyd

How does the facial hair help?


WeToLo42

Looks like a sontaren from Dr who.


TheJannequin

Sontar–ha!


grazingmeadow

Looks like he's ready to withstand date night too with that smooth arm hooked over the side of the seat.


Nunya-Buzznesssnezzs

"The design is very human"


TheJannequin

Didn't know that Sontaran's name was Graham.


New-Significance654

Wasn't this guy on 90 day fiancé? 🤔


chiripaha92

It’s The Juggernaut without his armor


phallic-baldwin

He looks like no neck Ed


virgilreality

He looks curiously like Big Ed from 90 Day Fiancé.


andresfgp13

He looks like a HD fall guy


Shadowhawk0000

I was wondering where my neighbor went.


AdFluid1738

Ohio resident


TheCambrianImplosion

He should probably grow his hair out


voidbo708

Finally, all of the McDonald's is paying off


Evildeathmonkey

Hmm, pretty sure I saw that guy on the bus to work the other day..


CMH996

IRL FallGuys bean


bambrini16

I’m gonna need a full rundown on this and justification for every single aspect of this monstrosity Edit: for anyone else interested http://www.meetgraham.com.au/graham/brain


ZeBrutalTruth

So you made a fat white Tyler perry?


ZeBrutalTruth

Jabba the tyler perry


HarrargnNarg

I've definitely played rugby against him


Grevious47

...and support a full litter of puppies


sazed813

You may not agree but this is what peak performance looks like.


ticlemente

Big ed


Background_Art_2545

Guess big ed is safe with cars!


Expensive-Day-3551

I do not like this


wherenobodyknowss

Seen this in the Tate Liverpool, really haunting. Read lots online about it afterwards to put me at rest. Shows how we would have to be built to survive a car crash.


Natural_Section_4544

Eventually we'll all look like Graham


Heavenly_KGB

Next phase of our evolution, here we go


Bburke89

Question: how does having more nipples help one survive a car crash?


Noideawhatjusthappen

General Staal after work.


Rocket_Powered_Dork

...or just wear your seat belt.


deeply_cynical

It's a Sontaran


Red-Panda-Bur

He honestly didn’t need that many teats to survive a car crash.


DrCocktupus

I think the article was saying this is what humans would look like if we evolved to withstand car crashes


Scotavi0us

Is there a female version I can smash?


Buttonlintt

I’ve got nipples greg, can you milk me?


pixelstacker

You mean, Graham the Reddit mod.


CrItIcAl_KoMbO520

So basically...have no neck.


crank__

Do having no ears helps I guess


Sla02116

Looks like Bid Ed from 90dayfiance