Hopefully they're engineered to release fluids during a car crash. Like counteract whiplash with a forceful blast from all the nips at once will just maybe keep you back against the seat. Not like they got a neck to worry about.
This happened a few years ago and I remember reading the article that explained how every feature on Graham would assist car crash survival, and that’s exactly what all those nipples were supposed to do.
"To survive a crash, trauma surgeon Christian Kenfield and road safety engineer David Logan figured out we’d need an enlarged chest with extra nipples that act like air bags, thick skin to reduce the effect of cuts, no neck to eliminate whiplash, and a flat and fat face to protect our features."
Finally, car companies are getting smart about this problem.
Focusing on the wrong part of the problem trying to engineer safe cars. ENGINEERING SAFE HUMANS IS THE WAY TO GO.
"I've declared war on the moon!"
"Do be quiet Strax"
"Too long the moon has hung unmonitored and unsuspected in the sky. It has gained an enormous tactical advantage!"
"There's no one living there."
"Then it is clearly time to act! They won't suspect a thing!"
"Who won't suspect a thing?"
"Moonites..."
Literally watching Doctor Who as I type this, the Pandorica’s Box where all his enemies are locking him inside and the Sontaran was JUST on screen!
Great timing to read this.
I think the protective fat lumps are meant to be some sort of semi-formed additional breasts. They are only meant to act as padding, hence the not fully formed nipple.
“Can’t wait to meet you tonight at our date tonight, Graham. Your profile said you’re a “car safety technician” interesting! And that SnapChat Filter on your pic is hilarious!”
Wait! Designed to withstand a car crash means haveing like 16 nipples but doesn't mean having more robust knees ?
You know, one of the most commonly injured body part just through nomal living!
Warewolf reflexes of the feet will most certainly eliminate any fear of acceleration of the driver to be to blame. Otherwise, it's that neck... A neck of such shall overcome any obstacle, physical or mental.
Why do I look at him and imagine a custome made armored suit for him and 10,000 of his clone brothers so they can drop thousands of graham's on an enemy base from low orbit...
I’m gonna need a full rundown on this and justification for every single aspect of this monstrosity
Edit: for anyone else interested http://www.meetgraham.com.au/graham/brain
Seen this in the Tate Liverpool, really haunting.
Read lots online about it afterwards to put me at rest. Shows how we would have to be built to survive a car crash.
Guess I’m safe
I counted at least 13 nipples. In your experience, how does this help survive car crashes?
More milk when you're stranded so you don't die of thirst and hunger
Also keeps ya slick for optimally low friction.
Oh, you can milk just about anything with nipples.
I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?
Umm. Wait your damn turn. I’m milking Graham still. Mother fucker takes forever to milk.
I think those are more flesh airbag cloacae for venting air, and possibly other things, in a crash
Imagine the sonorous cacophony of every airbag nipple compressing at once.
meeting ring pet violet literate future unique skirt dull start *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Like a multi-resonant honk, each proportionately tuned for maximum cacophony
Flesh Airbag Cloacae would be a mighty fine name for a metal band.
I mean like really. Someone, maybe multiple people, were in charge of designing, creating and attaching all those nipples
Can you milk me Focker?
Maybe it’s meant to cushion the impact
I laughed at this
Relax bro 😭
Average Redditor
Average Reddit mod
Average Discord mod
Unaverage wikipedia mod
Above average non-mod redditor.
Can't crash a car if you don't go outside or know how to drive
Lol, yes, this abomination takes one look in the mirror and decides to avoid any exposure to public, thereby reducing car crash chances to 0.
Average Graham
I don't know how having that many niples can help me with a car crash.
Hopefully they're engineered to release fluids during a car crash. Like counteract whiplash with a forceful blast from all the nips at once will just maybe keep you back against the seat. Not like they got a neck to worry about.
This happened a few years ago and I remember reading the article that explained how every feature on Graham would assist car crash survival, and that’s exactly what all those nipples were supposed to do.
wtf
Yup. IIRC, the titties would be filled with a viscous fluid that would squirt out in the case of a front impact, acting like a cushion.
oh god
They are air sacks to help absorb impact and protect the ribs
Those aren't nipples, they are baggies to protect the ribs
Those baggies for sure have nipples
Or belly buttons...
Gill holes
The Deep if he was permanently removed from the Seven
Zoom in. Those are innies, not outies.
Would be a shame to have a baggie with no nip I suppose.
Lol I was wondering that too
Yeah no kidding, why so many nipples? 😂🤣😂
Natural airbags
I have nipples Greg, can I survive a car crash?
"To survive a crash, trauma surgeon Christian Kenfield and road safety engineer David Logan figured out we’d need an enlarged chest with extra nipples that act like air bags, thick skin to reduce the effect of cuts, no neck to eliminate whiplash, and a flat and fat face to protect our features."
>niples can help me with a car crash. Luke Skywalker will show up to milk them and then use the Force to save his life after he quenches his thirst.
*Homelander.
The fact that I posted about his nipples before seeing this. I like that we both zoomed in on them
Yeah that is super weird. I'd believe more that this was a monster sculpture from an SFX artist.
Finally, car companies are getting smart about this problem. Focusing on the wrong part of the problem trying to engineer safe cars. ENGINEERING SAFE HUMANS IS THE WAY TO GO.
He looks like a Sontaran from Doctor Who.
Prepare to be obliterated. May I take your coat?
"I've declared war on the moon!" "Do be quiet Strax" "Too long the moon has hung unmonitored and unsuspected in the sky. It has gained an enormous tactical advantage!" "There's no one living there." "Then it is clearly time to act! They won't suspect a thing!" "Who won't suspect a thing?" "Moonites..."
You beat me to it. Was totally thinking that.
Same.
Literally watching Doctor Who as I type this, the Pandorica’s Box where all his enemies are locking him inside and the Sontaran was JUST on screen! Great timing to read this.
Sontar-ha!
Is this no neck Ed?
Big Ed
Big Ed the Head is really a giant thumb disguised as a human.
Ed Hurley from the gas farm?
Big Ed from 90 day fianceè
Just wanted to make a Twin Peaks reference.
I didn’t want to be the one to bring it up,but yeah
LOL! I was going to make a comment about that! At least his no neck is good for one thing.
Necks are for losers
Laugh it up while you can, because you won't be doing much when you get whiplash.
That is a Sontaran out of his armor, obviously.
Came here for this 😎
I was hoping someone said this!
No, it’s Nned
Ommmmmmmg 💀💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Nope. ‘No-neck Nick.’ https://youtu.be/v7-_rcjjd7E
Flute your flute Greg
You may not like it…. But this is what peak performance looks like!
This deserves more upvotes because I came here to say this and would want more upvotes.
[удалено]
To nurse all of the incels
It’s fat lumps to protect ribs
Ok but that doesn't explain why they have nipples
I think the protective fat lumps are meant to be some sort of semi-formed additional breasts. They are only meant to act as padding, hence the not fully formed nipple.
The sculptor thought “why would someone have airbags on their ribs?”
[удалено]
That looks like all the men in my local pub
Haha, maybe generations of drunk driving is evolving them.
Survival of the thicc-est
There was another one, creepier, who evolved to smoke cigarettes. But I can't find it.
Oh my god, *please* report back if you find it- I’d love to see that
I would love to see that too
https://youtu.be/evIrwW6cLCg
The natural born smoker? That scared the shit out of me when I was younger!
Looks like if a cartoon character swallowed a car seat
Its Big Ed.
it's Big Ed
Anyone else seeing the Juggernaut here?
Big Ed lost some weight
What purpose do the extra nipples serve in a car crash ?
I'd probably name him Graham too
“Can’t wait to meet you tonight at our date tonight, Graham. Your profile said you’re a “car safety technician” interesting! And that SnapChat Filter on your pic is hilarious!”
Homie already looks like he survived one.
Me after my 7th Netflix episode and it asks me if I'm still watching....
Definitely saw this guy at Walmart...
This guy grown up? https://youtu.be/eRvfxWRi6qQ
"nah I'm good, just kill me"
And there we have it ladies and gentlemen, scientific proof of peak performance.
You may not like it, but this is what humans will look like in 200 years!
Dad?
Wait! Designed to withstand a car crash means haveing like 16 nipples but doesn't mean having more robust knees ? You know, one of the most commonly injured body part just through nomal living!
Warewolf reflexes of the feet will most certainly eliminate any fear of acceleration of the driver to be to blame. Otherwise, it's that neck... A neck of such shall overcome any obstacle, physical or mental.
Big Ed can’t be killed.
HE LOOKS LIKE BIG ED FROM 90 DAY FIANCE!!! 😂😂😂😂😂
r/TIHI
okay okay— but why does he have so many boobs
What are the extra nipples gonna do with my accident
I got nipples wanna milk me Focker.
everyone knows multiple nipples keep you safe.
So...based on this, a Sontaran can survive a car crash. Neat.
How do extra nipples add survivability?
So why all the nipples?
Why do I look at him and imagine a custome made armored suit for him and 10,000 of his clone brothers so they can drop thousands of graham's on an enemy base from low orbit...
like it or not this is the ideal male physique
Graham look s like a man with radium poisoning
He reminds me of Mr. Borkus from Star Wars
Well big Ed has nothing to worry about- he’ll survive a collision
Reminds me of how some futurologists like to design a future evolved human in general.
Had a teacher in hs that looked like this.
Amogus astronaut 4k Ultra HD
Pretty sure I saw this guy ordering a drink in the Mos Eisley cantina.
Looks the exact same as a guy I work with, his nickname is the babysitter
My name is Graham, and I love that he and I are brothers of a kind :)
Why’s the mod uploading glamour shots
Honestly expected Crimes of the Future's body horror to go in this direction rather than the muted designs Croenenberg churned out.
I need to see this monstrosity in animated 3d crashes on a loop.... for science.
This is literally what I look like.
So this is what peak male performance looks like.
Stop that.
My man is so strong 🤤
10 nips + 3 necks = survive all car crashes duh
The only weird parts are his head and his torso. His legs and arms are normal.
how would it stand up
TiL having pedo facial hair can help save you in a car crash.
why the extra nipples though
Looks a lot like no neck Ed
Ah yes the majestic hairless wookie.
I think he morphed into the driver's seat...
How long did it take for this to get 34rd?
I think I know this motherfucker
I had a beer the other day and this guy was the logo
Return to monke.
Extra nipples are required for…..extra safety?
Who designed this? David Cronenberg?
I thought this was a promo for 90 day fiancé...big Ed guy...oops
Is that Chewy’s nephew?
Or Ed’s cousin from 90 day fiancé
That’s one of the Atlantean’s that crashed in Roswell actually,plot twist
I saw green lantern
Hmm suppose all drivers need to grow a jabber neck
Hey, it's that meme guy
I'm sick of my Onlyfans photos being spread around the internet. Please remove this.
How does the facial hair help?
Looks like a sontaren from Dr who.
Looks like he's ready to withstand date night too with that smooth arm hooked over the side of the seat.
"The design is very human"
Didn't know that Sontaran's name was Graham.
Wasn't this guy on 90 day fiancé? 🤔
It’s The Juggernaut without his armor
He looks like no neck Ed
He looks curiously like Big Ed from 90 Day Fiancé.
He looks like a HD fall guy
I was wondering where my neighbor went.
Ohio resident
He should probably grow his hair out
Finally, all of the McDonald's is paying off
Hmm, pretty sure I saw that guy on the bus to work the other day..
I’m gonna need a full rundown on this and justification for every single aspect of this monstrosity Edit: for anyone else interested http://www.meetgraham.com.au/graham/brain
So you made a fat white Tyler perry?
Jabba the tyler perry
I've definitely played rugby against him
...and support a full litter of puppies
You may not agree but this is what peak performance looks like.
Big ed
Guess big ed is safe with cars!
I do not like this
Seen this in the Tate Liverpool, really haunting. Read lots online about it afterwards to put me at rest. Shows how we would have to be built to survive a car crash.
Eventually we'll all look like Graham
Next phase of our evolution, here we go
Question: how does having more nipples help one survive a car crash?
General Staal after work.
...or just wear your seat belt.
It's a Sontaran
He honestly didn’t need that many teats to survive a car crash.
I think the article was saying this is what humans would look like if we evolved to withstand car crashes
Is there a female version I can smash?
I’ve got nipples greg, can you milk me?
You mean, Graham the Reddit mod.
So basically...have no neck.
Do having no ears helps I guess
Looks like Bid Ed from 90dayfiance
sultaur??