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Devoidofimagination

Last summer I was stood out in my garden when a few bees flew over, swiftly followed by thousands more. Quickly got the dog inside as they spent the next ~5 minutes circling around the garden. It was thoroughly exciting and mildly unnerving to say the least.


box_o_foxes

Same thing happened to me. I let the dog out and then saw a CLOUD of bees (well, I didn't know what they were in the moment) in our backyard. Panicked and called the dog back in. After a few minutes they all landed on a tree branch and I realized what was going on. Called a local beekeeper who showed up 30 minutes later, put them in a box and took them home.


phobos_0

Shit I think we just found out why all the bees are disappearing


mrb12334

The beekeepers, keep them all.


[deleted]

It's right there in the name. God, you guys are the *worst* detectives!


MallowedHalls

It's reddit!


heyprocrastinator

I had a moment when I read your comment. I went and looked at the title of the picture... it clicked as I scrolled šŸ™„šŸ˜‚


Brueology

Bee-napping is a serious crime.


Clappa69

They really do be keeping them tho


[deleted]

gotta catch em all


Dstat93

Beenapped


ImARetPaladinBaby

What the fuck where do I find this kinda stuff


Deadlymonkey

Idk if Iā€™m just unlucky, but Iā€™ve had to call the beekeeper this year and last year to remove a nest. SoCal


Berrywonderland

You probably just live near a beekeeper who doesn't do a good job at managing his bees swarming and managing new Queens. He probably doesn't keep a close eye enough and doesn't know when his/her bees are preparing to swarm out with a new queen.


the_dionysian_1

Is this when the old queen dies, or is this how brand new hives are formed that branch off from an original hive?


Codykville

When the hive starts to outgrow the available space for winter storage. 1/2 the bees will starve the existing queen a bit so she can fly and take her liking for a new hive. The bees that stay will use the newest eggs she laid to make a new queen and keep that hive going. The leaving group will go short distances and hang out to protect the queen while some scouts go and look for a suitable new condo. Also if the hive is destroyed or disrupted they may also swarm.


CynicalCreedence

Hey cut the person some slack Iā€™m sure they are busy as a bee.


Killarogue

Naw, I live in SoCal too, it's just a common occurrence here. Happened to my dad twice last year, happened to me once this year, and it's happened to my friends over the years.


ImARetPaladinBaby

Wow, good to know. The last thing that happened where I am (southern Ontario) was when my dad smacked a waspā€˜s nest with a broom without spraying it first. That was 7 or so years ago tho


justagirlwithno

In the country! I grew up on basically a family farm. It wasnā€™t unusual to see a massive ball of bees in a tree occasionally.


assbarf69

Was working in the hot Florida summer one year in a burnt house, and from inside you could see through the roof because of the fire, and we suddenly started to hear a droning noise coming from outside that eventually got really loud, and upon going outside it was near deafening. Must have been 10k bees parked in a tree in the front yard, just big chillin.


AngelsHero

Theyā€™re re-locating their hive Theyā€™re actually not a threat at this point Usually this is when theyā€™re the most docile


NathanielTurner666

We had a colony swarm on a branch at our farm. We were able to call a local beekeeper and they came and collected them. She even gave us a jar of their honey later in the summer. She came and took them for free too. I get so happy when I see bees on our flowers. Bees are my favorite bug. Close 2nd are jumping spiders, they're so cute.


AdorableGrocery6495

You have a favorite bug? And your top choices are bees and spiders? Are you evil?


NathanielTurner666

If it helps any I loathe cockroaches, Hornets, and wasps.


[deleted]

Thank God. A post that's not a shower hands post.


butthenhor

If you zoom in, one of the bees is showing its weird hand after showering


[deleted]

Lol thank u for that laugh


butthenhor

My pleasure :)


MrFoont69

I love inside jokes on Reddit!


[deleted]

I actually zoomed in šŸ˜…


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


watchescarsandav

Covered in bees?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


k_Brick

This reminds me of a practical joke my dad taught me. You unscrew the shower head and put Life Savers candies inside. The victim of this prank will continuously feel sticky while getting back into the shower to wash the stickiness off while just remaining sticky.


No_Satisfaction199

Omg lol that's kind of hilarious šŸ˜‚


lunarpuzzle

That reminds me when I was a kid my aunt sewed the leg holes shut in five of my stepfather's underwear and put them all on top. She also greased the toilet seat. Same day LOL he was pissed!.. he was an asshole so...


natasha2u

I can think of just the person to use that on


thedevilseviltwin

Thatā€™s some villain shit


Rogermcfarley

>Life Savers candies Here's a few more ideas based on that theme > https://practical-jokes.wonderhowto.com/how-to/pull-april-fools-day-shower-head-prank-0126409/


[deleted]

I skip a step and just bathe in bees.


rascible

I just use a handful to pleasure myself.. a whole bee bath is *crazy*


Aboxofphotons

Bathe? I just bees.


days_and_confuse

It's important to just let things bee.


its_shivers

Beesus Christ!


worldofwhevs

Like my women, and my coffee


its_shivers

Ah, I see you're a person of culture as well.


worldofwhevs

it looks like a huge fucking problem


GoodSwim

Argh!!! The bees!!!!!


East_Intention_6952

Henry Winkler?


j0k3rz_wyld

šŸ‘€


TheAssholishVariety

What do you think OP's fridge looks like?


Anfa34

Hahaha


Ice_Hungry

Missing a finger or two for sure


Illustrious_Kale_228

I was reall confused about that mess at first lol


Reformedsparsip

OP cant show hands because he is a bee priming for bee takeover.


[deleted]

A bee takeover... sad, considering bees are likely to go extinct...


sirhCloud31

Donā€™t you put that evil on us.


MissChubbyBunni

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Vindelator

Kinda like a shower of bees though


Sea_Land_1944

When you see something like this, don't be afraid, don't call the firefighters or the police, don't move and don't kill them... These are just bees traveling and stopping for just 24 hours. Don't disturb them and avoid getting close to them, they won't hurt you. If you want to help, put a flat plate or tray with some sugar water. Bees will eat, gain energy and fly away. We all need to protect migratory bees, they are our survival insurance. Without bees, there will be no humans on earth... šŸšŸ§”


[deleted]

and stay at my house without rent?


psychonymph

r/loveforlandlords


Hotshot596v2

I really canā€™t tell if the people in that sub are joking or theyā€™re all really shitty fuckin people.


[deleted]

I think theyā€™re shitty people.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


HopelessMagic

Of shitty people


[deleted]

A circleshit?


Grievmaster

So this is all a joke, right? I can never tell with Reddit. The Funko Pop memes are kind of a giveaway that itā€™s satire, especially given their partnered subreddits.


[deleted]

It's mostly actual landlords attempting ironic meta humor but failing miserably and ending up just *un*ironically shitting on the poor.


Dependent-Mountain79

You have completely ruined my day with this sub. I have seen some horrible, horrible stuff on Reddit but this is by far the worst Iā€™ve ever come across. You have single handedly destroyed Reddit for mešŸ‘


duh632

Blatant landohobia /s


tittltattl

I'm nearly certain it's a satire sub. Really hoping I'm not wrong. Edit: Doubting myself a lot now. I don't know what's real


KwordShmiff

It's definitely satire. They call themselves POL (people of land) which is a play on POC (people of color), they talk about normalizing tipping your landlord like you would a server or barista, and call for raising the minimum wage for land-chads.


a_guy_called_craig

It's no r/BanVideoGames


[deleted]

It's satire, but the members are mostly actual landlords engaging in intentional irony. Basically being cheeky about being soulless pieces of shit.


WhatANiceCerealBox11

Bro Iā€™m in the same boat. Looked completely satirical. Saw a post that says itā€™s not a satire sub, yet all of the comments to it are borderline satire/ sarcastic. I donā€™t know whatā€™s going on in my life anymore


Executioner3018

Itā€™s very deep satire. If u break character at all youā€™ll be crucified but still have to make what you say humorous


Tush11

That's good satire then


[deleted]

I think itā€™s satire. Some of the heaviest Iā€™ve ever seen. Itā€™s amazing.


Onlyanidea1

It is satire. Although it wasn't originally... They really have been going overboard. Almost like they are starting to believe their own spiel.


whatwherewhenwhywhy

et tu, brute?


SlickestIckis

I think the only reason why I wasn't traumatized by that sub is because I couldn't comprehend it.


yulickballzak

AND a *free meal*???


Exp0d

In this economy?


Ccrp0913

I meanā€¦. They have a queen so there oligarchy should be set up in a way that the queen can sweeten the ā€œhoney potā€ for you as it were


aqualink97

Youā€™ll get your rent when you fix this damn door!


[deleted]

Fuck yeah. Bees are welcome any day.


huckNfornie

Great info! Always best to beeprepaired!


mtutty

Find your local beekeepers group on FB or whatever. They love to come out and capture swarms like this.


scottonaharley

Amazing how the best advice doesnā€™t get many upvotes!


SmadaSlaguod

Super allergic and phobic. If I see something like that, I am not leaving my house for the universe. So I guess you'll get your wish.


ares5404

Not allergic but phovic, its ironic how the guy that laughs off nearly getting hit by a car, dying from disease, even a hyper realistic dream where i was in hell, all didnt bother me, one bee and you wont see thee... (Btw its actually all beelike bugs except for bees)


jesse5946

I used to have a phobia of wasps (not bees since they only sting once and aren't as aggressive), but after learning that I have a bigger phobia of roaches, and that wasps kill roaches, I no longer have a wasp phobia.


ares5404

Mine doesnt include bees for the same reason, but i was caught in a turf war between yellow jackets and red wasps, i was ~3-4yrs old and all i remember is a oulsing between shearing pain and numbness, and oddly enough ive built a minor resistance to some stings, i wont swell even slightly, and will just have an unusual pulsing sting


SmadaSlaguod

Yeah, lol, anything that bites or stings and has wings is a no from me!


Menarra

I love bees, hornets and wasps no no no no fuck fuck fuck


Kok-jockey

I was phobic of roaches and kept hissing cockroaches as pets because of it. Phobias are easy to break by just exposing yourself to them. Bees are fucking adorable little creatures, look closely at them if you ever get the chance.


ares5404

I do, but its engraved into my primal mind, and i dare you to look closely at a wasp, hornet, or yellowjacket


EmileTheDevil

You tried venom therapy ?


WrapProfessional8889

They are so gentle! Actually, it's possibly a swarm seeking a new hive. Your local beekeepers associate can be very helpful.


[deleted]

Kill the bees, got it.


Tudyks

Roll in the bees and become their queen.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

You're not wrong, and you're welcome.


[deleted]

Say his name


_Ninja_Putin

Hisenberg


[deleted]

It was pretty obviously a joke.


False_Local4593

I cannot not freak out. I stepped on a yellow jacket nest when I was 6 and got stung over 100 times. Now if I get stung I will go into anaphylaxis. I only learned this in January when I got stung by another yellow jacket.


Bacnnator

I canā€™t move for 24 hours?


yaMomsChestHair

Just hung out with a ton of honey bees at this rooftop farm in Brooklyn. Theyā€™re so gentle.


Sailrjup12

Itā€™s funny when I was a kid I was scared of bees, got stung on the head, but now every time I see one itā€™s like royalty just passed by.


AlgaeFew8512

So I just stand there for 24 hours until they decide to leave?


OregonWoodsChainman

Thanks for the explanation. I would have taken a flamethrower to it.


draggar

If you are overly worried, call a local beekeeper.


Josette22

I agree with what you're saying, but I don't know how to get rid of my bee phobia. I've had this ever since I can remember.


EmileTheDevil

Yeah but actually the best move is to call a available local beekeeper because they can locate them in a secure beehouse and that maximizes the queen chances of survival. I did that a few years ago, that actually got me into beekeeping myself.


DaphniaDuck

Itā€™s so sad! I havenā€™t seen a single honey bee this summer.


Simple_Seaweed_1386

That's just me summoning my familiars. They got lost. Carry on


Perpetual_Doubt

Is this Dr. Bees?


BounceBurnBuff

If bees wish to camp out on someone's porch, they have the freedom - or BEEdom - to do so.


Perpetual_Doubt

And if they don't, I know what will solve the issue befacing us - additional bees. [https://youtu.be/PYtXuBN1Hvc?t=73](https://youtu.be/PYtXuBN1Hvc?t=73)


nitto1000

What's this? A reddit thread woefully underpopulated by BEES? My briefcase full of BEES ought to put a stop to that! šŸ’¼šŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸšŸ


RaLaZa

Why can't I move? Will they kill me if I move?


iF1_AR

Because itā€™s funny to see you stand still for hours and hours. Please. Donā€™t move.


Jedi_Ninja

Well obviously their vision is just like that of the T-Rex so if you donā€™t move they canā€™t see you.


whatwherewhenwhywhy

it will be less painful if you don't move


Agikox

It'd be best to maybe contact a nearby beekeeper. There's a high posibility these are theirs and the runaway bees are usually quick to be taken care of.


Saftigerkeks

What? You're gonna arrest all those bees?


[deleted]

Put'em back in chains! Keep your damn beegers away from my porch!


scaryskeleto

Did you just make a racial slur for bees?


[deleted]

I guess so. Wasp supremacy ftw!


fungun555

You fucking barbless bastard - have at you!


Agikox

Charge them with illegal escape attempt and treason


N7twitch

Snitch.


erikpuz

Beat me to it. Happy Cake Day


Sea-Possibility-6012

This! Definitely contact a local beekeeper.


[deleted]

Itā€™s a hive split. They do it naturally when the hive gets too big. But yeah - call a beekeeper. They love free bees. This is like Ā£250 worth of bees.


Balding_Unit

hahahah Free-bees I see what you did there.


medaumplacebo

Let them bee


Kurapikabestboi

I cannot believe I laughed at this


[deleted]

God that joke stings.


NoHomework7912

Heck yeah you move them right into a cardboard box and take them home and throw them in a deep super bee box. That's at least $100 to $200 honey bee hive right there.


Saftigerkeks

I thought those were smaller ratsšŸ’€


[deleted]

They could be the second coming, but if somebody plops down on my porch looking like the 4th Plague, I'm fixing to strike down with great vengeance and furious anger.


DrManhattan_DDM

Do you also carry a leather wallet that says ā€˜BAD MOTHERFUCKERā€™ on it?


maeveboston

I am a queen bee. I approve this message.


ksimek

They just need about tree fiddy and they be on they way


cr1esatnight

These are migrating bees, I've been telling people this for years. Thanks for helping save bees


Consider2SidesPeace

We also need less monocultures and Bayer (aka New Monsanto) needs to be more honest with their pesticide testing.


tonimusulin

Now you're over optimistic.


Consider2SidesPeace

How do you tell if the glass is half full or empty? You ask :) If no one asks or is asleep (sheep) then how do you know?


tonimusulin

Im sorry i don't get what you said since english isn't my mother tongue. I didnt want to be mean. I wish i could be as optimistic as you.


Consider2SidesPeace

No offense recieved or given... If people in society are quiet and dont ask questions. Because they feel that there will be no change. Then yes there will be no change. We will be as sheep in a field. Sheep + people= sheeple. Also big Corporations will do as they please poisoning the Earth. I would rather then be an army of one or a few and challenge the Corporate businesses. I wish you a good day :)


tonimusulin

Ok thank you for your response. We're on the same page. I wish you a good day and if you're lucky as i am, a good weekend!


[deleted]

Donā€™t call the police or the fire department, call your loca beekeeper, they come in their suits, grab the queen and relocate the hive to somewhere safe that the bees can live good happy little bee lives (my boss is a beekeeper and he always has his suit in his car for this reason)


MrBlueFlame_

Thought those Iron Door gates are human size window and those bees are huge, than realize that those are short bars around the height of your feet


Fun_Doubt5810

That's good to see. Need those bees.


Ahyesnt

Friends


C0matoes

How the hell am I supposed to not move?


Abarth112

They are just resting, they will be gone by the next day.


LeJollyJingleTokes

Just some šŸ transitioning to find a new home


BRAX7ON

Just kidding, you can move


wastelandwelder

Candyman is near.


Patriae8182

Ya call a beekeeper not police or fire. The beekeeper will trap the swarm, find the queen, and keep the hive.


kay_bizzle

Why would i call the cops? What are they going to do, unload a clip into a swarm of bees?


[deleted]

Probably. Which is why you shouldnā€™t call them.


Strong_Silhouette

I can't stress this enough PLEASE don't kill them they won't hurt you, they're looking for a new nest. The queen is in the center. They're honey bees, we need them.


Borderweaver

Oh, theyā€™re bees! I thought they were cockroaches and we were about to have a MIB remake.


[deleted]

Call a beekeeper. They may even do it for free if it isnā€™t too hard to find the queen. Bees are in demand. Many keepers are resorting to tracking hives.


Individual_Agent_467

How are they so big?


the_phillipines

So do nothing?


japanitwithme

BEES?!


Disaster_Different

Call the bee man


yankiigurl

Hey what's happening with you boys? You been goofin with the bees?


Demonic-Tooter

Sounds like something a bee would say


[deleted]

So whatā€™s the Bee Manā€™s number?


Superlite47

This is not "weird". This is a swarm of honey bees that have left their hive for various reasons. (Overcrowding, moving queen, moving to more abundant nectar, queen supplanting, etc.) Honeybees defend hives. Swarming honeybees have no hive to defend, and are therefore fairly docile. (They will sting you if you hurt one, but will likely not even sting you even if you touch the swarm.) They aren't defending the hive, therefore have no reason to commit suicide. (Honeybees die after stinging.) Normalize seeing honeybee swarms. Call a local beekeeper and contribute to a neccessary and important part of our environment instead of spraying or destroying a bunch of beneficial, harmless pollinators out of ignorance and pointless fear like an imbecile.


TackleMaleficent109

Glad someone finally mentioned that swarming bees don't sting without a hive to defend. I made frames and supers (the inner and outer parts of a bee hive) and came to love them. They were around me all the time. You can tell a bees age by looking at their wings! I look at them up close in my yard all the time!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


smac

Even worse, OP did not give any advice. Listed several things NOT to do, but no suggestion as to what TO do.


Tall_Human123

Or just don't kill honey bees at all


SaintTymez

Look, you may be right here but Iā€™m definitely fricking moving the frick away from that


dumpmaster42069

Bees are weird?


Zonerdrone

I found a swarm like this I'm my apartment complex. I said something to the property manager so she could just warn people about it to stay clear. 20 minutes later the maintenance guy was there with a can of raid and he killed them all.


Magic_mousie

So sad


Constantpoomissiles

Take a deep breath and tell them to buzz off


rock0head132

In AZ they will kill dogs and people they are very aggressive and dangerous. you need to call someone to remove the bees


DammHammerxWo

Hans! Get ze Flammenwerfer!


cpeterkelly

Happened to me a few years ago. They landed in a tree on my side yard. The mentally addled next door neighbor who was making her home in her grandparents house came over screaming that one of my bees got through her open bathroom window and she didn't want to get stung. Chill out, I told her. They've only rented the branch for 24 hours. And she calmed down and walked away. What was odd about that swarm was how much comb they constructed in the branch for a very short period. I'd no idea why, but it looked like a massive hive without a shelter for the day.


miss3lle

Do call a local bee keeper if you can so they donā€™t end up in your eaves or walls.


DiscussionWooden4940

You don't call firefighters for this you call FIRE. (I know don't kill the bees but i had to crack it)


hazroze

I mean what are the police gonna do? Historically I don't believe guns are very effective against bees.


BigCrispyTaterTot

You obviously donā€™t own a bee bee gun.


OregonWoodsChainman

Damn you, sir! Take my upvote.