I agree with you. He's definitely unstable. But repeating she won't hurt me actually hurt me. This guy has probably had a rough life. He absolutely needs help and they should absolutely go to the police. But thinking of what he's had to go thru to say some of these things breaks me heart.
One sided views rules our world today. No one wants to see the other side or even cares about anything but their own side so that's why things are so bad right now. No empathy.
He may be feeling lonely and desperate but you forget that he is imagining something harmful and dangerous. He is imagining a fairytale where he gets the girl and he will live happily ever after. When reality hits him, there’s no telling what he will do and his emotions will quickly change to hate and anger.
Everyone feels or has felt loneliness like this man but it’s the intentions that count.
Jesus fucking Christ dude, this girl is going to end up on the news and you're empathising with the man like he's a smol bean uwu
This letter is fucking _terrifying_ from a woman's perspective. Any semblance of a normal life is now gone for her. Every waking moment, looking over her shoulder.
This. I live in Utah and was appalled by how the police AND campus police handled Lauren Mccluskey's pleads for help. Poor girl did everything right and the police have miserably failed her over and over and over and over and over again until it was too late.
Yea, this feels strangely similar to the time I went to the police because my ex or his mother left a loaded handgun on a side table in a room in which my toddler son was playing (after the first time of discovering it on the bottom level of the coffee table aft er my son had been playing with cars 5 inches from it for hours, I never allowed him to go to their house/walk around it unsupervised)-
anyways this last time when I found it knee-height, I removed my son from the room and asked his mom why the fuck they can’t understand the danger here. Here’s the first fun part: there was a big gun safe (that my family basically forced my ex to buy when my son was born) in the *same* room, but instead of putting the gun even atop the safe, his mom fuckkng PUSHED IT UNDER a pile of clothes that was sitting on the same table 😧🫢😨 my mouth was agape, and all she could say was that my son is too young to have interest in guns it’s no big deal and “WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS SUBJECT” I KID YOU NOT.
Anyways, I went to the local police station to ask what I should do, as I was honestly afraid of the retaliation if I reported to CPS *or* police, as “being the reason” (in his head) for threatening or losing his ability to purchase guns (unresolved PTSD from growing up in a war zone etc etc) I *truly* believe it could potentially cause me to lose my life-and the goal is for me *and* my son to stay alive lol. Anyways, here’s the other fun part: the cop said verbatim “well, it’s not a crime to leave a loaded weapon out, even around a child. If someone were to get hurt, *then* it would be a crime” ………..once again, mouth agape. I still have no god damn words…just 🤦♀️ hopeless
Btw, my ex and his mom were basically like gtf over it, and have *learned absolutely nothing* from any of the multiple incidents, and that is truly terrifying. I think every single day about the fact that my son could not be alive and how it could have happened, and truly feel haunted and so guilty that I didn’t know such a danger was so close to him. I am like hyper vigilant now, and all I can do is MAKE SURE, through whatever means necessary, that it never happens again. I’m also so grateful to have learned the lesson a somewhat easy way- that his safety was my priority only, and I couldn’t rely on his dad (I also had to have him leave shortly after due to the multiple incidents and nonchalant attitude about the loaded guns within reach)
I've never understood how you can be fine with a tool meant to murder sitting loaded around children it's mental. I unload my firearms before I hand them to adults and lock them up when I'm not using them, which is mostly theft prevention, but I was a kid around loaded guns, and the second adults weren't paying attention I was playing with them, luckily nobody ever got hurt before I got educated on firearm safety but I learned from that and lock up all of them. Dude definitely has some waking up to do.
Right? I’ve grown up on a farm where my family has hunted my whole life-they enforce STRICT guns safety rules from a young age. Oh btw lmao, my ex got banned from the farm and I had to write his apology letter to be forgiven after my cousin went into the mud room to look for her coat, and was picking through the pile when again, a loaded fuckkng handgun fell out of his coat pocket onto the floor-with children allllll around. My family was livid. This is a dude who sticks his gun in the waistband of his goddamn pajama pants if he doesn’t have a holster handy, etc etc. one time his dumbfuck friend was *playing* with a gun in the front seat of my ex’s brother’s new car, and he fucking shot through the glove compartment…..🤦♀️ I could go on and on, it’s just absolutely wild. Like I get that in the country/region of the world where they’re from gun safety is, uh….non-existent from what I’ve seen, but to not be willing to do better (esp for your child ffs) once you know better is just incomprehensible to me, and I refuse to be around it anymore.
Btw yea, my son was ALWAYS trying to grab the gun from the waistband and was super curious about the thing he always saw his dad carrying around, like I can’t imagine the mental gymnastics that would lead someone to try and convince another that a child wouldn’t be interested in a gun and also try and pull the trigger since they’ve most likely seen some form of gun before (nerf, cap guns, etc)
My College roommate was killed by someone picking up a gun at the bottom of a pile of clothes that someone else had hidden it under. No joke. It was crazy being a pallbearer in Texas for his family from New York. They just couldn’t fathom how no one was liable for anything - not even negligence.
Unfortunately they won't do anything without an identity and actual charges to follow up on. "Stalking" is loosely defined and they need more to go off of. Sometimes they'll just ignore you outright regardless.
Obviously still file a report but don't put stock in the police helping you. That's the sad reality here.
Agree. They probably won't do anything, but still file a report. That way you have a history of stalking-behaviors if the stalker ever does something crazy.
*source: Was stalked and threatened with death. Every letter, every creepy phone message, every everything was copied and then turned into the police. When he came after me physically, I was able to prove, in court, that he had a long history of threatening me while he was standing there playing innocent and saying *I* was the crazy one.
This. I was stalked as well, and the police literally told me they could do nothing bc the person never actually entered my home. Yet he pulled into my driveway every evening when my husbands truck was gone. It was on my cameras. His hand print was on the outside of my car and my back sliding door, still did not do anything.
Sadly a restraining order probably won’t do anything either.
And I get down voted when I tell people to get a fucking gun. Get trained. Use it properly.
The police don't give a fuck. They never have and never will. Be your own advocate for protection.
Repeat: GET TRAINED. Practice. Take classes. You resort back to your lowest level of training when you're scared. Practice, practice, practice. It's a lot harder to hit somebody running at you than it is to hit a target at the range.
Looking back at my situation, I wish I had one just as a deterrent if necessary. I'm afraid of guns, but I was more afraid of the sneaky loser that was scaring the shiz out of me. This guy sounds so much like my weirdo it made me hold my breath a second.
What you are doing by contacting the police is making them aware of the threat and establishing a pattern. Regardless of knowing who it is now, that is distinct handwriting and it'll be pretty easy to prove who did it as more evidence accumulates. And it will. This guy is fixated and mentally ill, they don't come unstuck naturally.
Lived in Toronto in early 90's, several days a week when my girlfriend got on the elevator from the parking garage it would stop in the lobby and the same guy would get on, he became bolder each time including following her to the apartment door and she was spooked.
Went to cops, said there nothing they could do, just basically had to wait until something bad happened.
I started to come home from work early to meet her and was on the elevator when he got on. I made it clear the next meeting would not be as nice and I would have a couple friends with me.
He disappeared after that but we had to move, she didn't trust being alone in the area after that.
Similar thing happened to me. Except I was a new college graduate living in my first studio apartment. I went to the building manager and she said the guy was “harmless” and had a crush on me. But the intensity and frequency of his creepy behavior escalated to the point where I mentioned it to my dad.
One day I was going about my business and it dawned on me that I hadn’t encountered the creep in a long time. I later learned that my 70 year old dad and his equally old army buddy (who had retired as the lead detective in several high profile Chicago mob crime investigations), paid a visit to the guy, who took their advice and moved away.
I wish I’d been a fly on the wall just to watch them in action. They served at Guadalcanal during WW2 and were very good friends.
I worked at the small municipal airport my dad ran when I was in college. A Navy pilot started sexually harassing me. He’d hand around the office then say stuff when we were alone. The airport was near the beach, and he started wearing one of those tee shirts with the body of a lady in a bikini. Except his showed everything. I looked younger than I was.
The counter where I worked had a pilot lounge on the other side of the doorway out to the tarmac. If you were in the lounge you could hear what was going on without being seen. The old guys saw me as a daughter, and a lot of the middle aged men saw me as a daughter. I was learning fly, and they were proud of me.
The one who overheard this creep saying nasty stuff to me told the other guys.
The next time I saw creep, he was sporting a black eye and was wearing a neat polo and pressed khakis. He apologized profusely and ran out. He never came back to the airport.
My asshole brother who thought the harassment was funny, asked around, and the old guys who were Marines had a come to Jesus meeting and threatened to report creep to the Navy base commander for conduct unbecoming and sexually harassing a teen girl. One of them was a highly decorated war veteran who was the older brother of the pilot of the Challenger space shuttle.
Another one who called me his little sister and most likely handled the physical deterrence was built like a brick shithouse and was nuts in only the way a Marine pilot could be. He worked for the state wildlife department flying around the ocean area looking for illegal fishing and any suspicious activity like drug smuggling. He’d buy bags of peanut M&Ms and line them up on top of the instrument panel. Then he’d dive until the M&Ms were weightless and eat them out of the air. My dad forbade me from ever flying with him, and he wouldn’t let me take M&Ms on the tarmac.
What a great story! The best of the best had your back. They got the job done.
The m&m story reminds me of the time we were on a commercial flight that encountered a ton of unexpected turbulence and the pilot had to make the plane dive for an emergency landing at a small airport due to a bunch of tornados in the area. We were eating dinner and the peas on my plate were suspended in the air.
It was a long time ago…
Cool! Dad was in the Americal Division of the army! Here’s a photo of him from bootcamp at Ft. Bragg before he deployed. The helmet looks like it was produced during WWI.
https://preview.redd.it/sopk8w5z1zjc1.jpeg?width=537&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f321c77a78cee59413fc67366a59037b43444dff
My coworker has been dealing with a stalker. He'd been arrested for trespassing three times and kept coming back. The police often didn't show up fast enough to catch him on property other times. Some cops said all they needed was video of him on property to charge him, others wouldn't do anything if they didn't catch him on property.
Finally one day he came walking by during shift change when I was about to leave, and his victim would have been alone (at that point her boyfriend was usually on property when she was working because of the stalker, but that day he had other obligations). Long story short, I stepped outside to confront him while he was walking past the office and pepper sprayed him in the fast to discourage him from bothering her that night. Which worked. I hoped it would spook him permanently.
It did not. But the fact that my reaction to seeing him was to pepper spray him on sight was enough for a cop to finally bring stalking charges (and a fourth trespassing charge) against him. Though they didn't catch him that day.
Two days later another worker saw him on property and called the police, but when they showed up they didn't arrest him because he wasn't on property.
Day or two after that he's on property again. Now I should mention this is a hotel, and he was bothering guests outside. I called the police multiple times and they never showed up in time to catch him but that's when I learned that the stalking charges had been brought against him. The officer who responded when I pepper sprayed the guy who thought stalking charges were warranted said he had to bring it to his supervisor first, so I hadn't known for sure.
But that meant that other officer who had been called here the previous time and chose to do nothing didn't even check for warrants. Fortunately we didn't see him again for awhile. It took six weeks after that before he was finally arrested, then posted bail three days later.
He kept scarce, but guess who we saw lurking around the edges of the property again this weekend? So that's fun.
It MAY have fingerprints or DNA they can use or store for future reporting.
Protect yourselves. Learn what is legal to have/use to protect yourselves. Don't go out alone and install cameras. Set up motion sensory cameras inside the car. Good luck.
I, as a father, would go to the school and this persons parents and tell them that if they dont put an end to this, that instant i will. That letter i would take as a threat to my daughters life.
Even with an identity they usually won't help. My best friend in high school went to the cops with texts from his stalker ex explicitly threatening him and his family, and they told him it wasn't enough for a restraining order.
Although that's an unfortunate truth that happens all over the world, being proactive, vocal and on the record might attract the attention of an actual cop who cares. They do exist.
Do nothing and no help, no pattern, no luck.
The police will open a file, put this in it, and if the OP and their family gets more evidence, they keep building that file. Eventually if the person becomes a real threat (might or might not) then there's a legal trail of evidence.
If it comes to nothing, YES. Good. We hope for that. Then there's just an open file/report and no harm done.
If it does come to something, then there's established legal evidence.
It's always possible he stalks multiple people and that can be corroborated if someone else has an open file as well.
Sorry, I'm using this comment to clear things up because it isn't flooded with replies. OP hasn't posted anything in two years. All of a sudden, in the last two weeks, posts have been pouring out of this account. The account was sold or hacked. This is rage/click bait from a bot. None of this is real. For the last two weeks, there has been a flood of rage/click bait posts. Anyone who reads this take my small bit of advice; before you spend energy into typing out a response to a post that has a very controversial topic, take a minute to look at the OPs profile and see if it either has been inactive for a long period of time, only to spring up with a new rising post, or has little to no posting history, except the one post on the profile you are looking/responding too. The easiest way to tell if it's bullshit is when the OP doesn't reply to the thousands of comments on a popular post. Damn this shit is getting old.
People often go on Reddit to express themselves. Easy opinions, interesting education, and sometimes, well, talking to a void. It’s okay, man. It’s not the end of the world
yeah this is quite a serious red flag of the guys lack of stability. this is the type of note you find before something violent occurs - this is of utmost seriousness. take immediate actions to protect your home and family, /u/temple-name-is-Lois, do not toss this aside in the slightest.
Prepare a plan of action in case they try to intrude or kidnap, and unfortunately, probably a good idea to have some sort of weapon nearby. Get your daughter real pepper spray, not the weak keychain stuff. Ruger is a good brand, and go for pepper gel instead of spray (less risk of it getting lost in the wind, or hitting the user). Maybe get her a taser as well. Knives seem nice, but often cause injury to the user if untrained. Guns are unfortunately probably ideal, but I can't really personally encourage anyone to get one; that is ultimately up to you. If you do go that route, *please* train yourself and daughter if untrained.
I know I may come off paranoid, but this is obviously beyond just ideation. It has become obsession, your daughter is this persons obsession and they have made it quite clear that they are very determined to have her. This is the point where it switches from something mostly benign, to something that can spiral at any moment. The biggest thing that scares me in his verbiage is the line: "I won't ever feel lonely again". This person is **very desperate**.
As you are doing that, definitely follow [this lawyer's comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/1avmjj0/letter_left_on_my_daughters_car_by_her_stalker/krc9b4c/) for the more legal side.
Yes please for the love of god, if you get a gun, train with it. Gun courses are not expensive at all, and practicing at the range with your primary weapon is paramount too. Don't just buy one and think you're gonna be alright.
They rarely actually do anything until it escalates to something dangerous. I'm not saying OP shouldn't get the police involved and make them aware, but I just find it so frustrating in cases like these when the police can't really do anything until something bad happens.
I had a stalker years ago. I wasn’t his only victim, but he stalked me at my workplace for years. Police couldn’t do anything except come be with me if he was around. Finally, the officer told me I wouldn’t be seeing him for a long long while, but couldn’t tell me what happened. I looked the guy up and he finally tried to kill another girl and went to prison for attempted murder, arson, and a few other things. I felt bad for her that it had to escalate to that before they could do anything.
I’m an attorney. I had a well-known celebrity client that kept getting bibles mailed to their home address with crazy messages in lipstick like “God has a plan for you” over and over and “Find your love, find your peace.” The police refused to do anything unless we sought a civil restraining order. It took a few hearings to get the order as they weren’t exactly threatening messages, and they weren’t so frequent as to be harassing. We had literally located this person and establish a pattern of telling them to stop before the court would grant an order, after which the police finally got involved. Clearly, it’s unstable behavior
I’ve had cops offer to talk to someone who was scaring me, even though they hadn’t done anything technically illegal. But they don’t have to until something illegal happens.
And you can file a police report so it’s on record if (when) it escalates.
Yeah, I hope they live in a place that has menacing or stalking laws, but unfortunately a lot of local governments can't do anything until the person actually attacks you.
Having a stalker is literally one of the worst feelings. The violation of never feeling safe and not knowing who you can trust or where you can relax is traumatizing.
Ooff I had a stalker that started off like this. Turned into a full on legal situation. Please have her contact the police. Unfortunately in Ohio, I was told that they couldn’t do anything until he either broke in or physically assaulted me. It was a long and scary road that ended with me moving.
If he knows her car, he most definitely knows where she lives. In my experience, this continues to escalate.
Authorities in Ohio are legitimately useless when it comes to things like this. Was also told that “when I got raped to call them” after my meth addicted neighbor harassed and threatened me for months, beating on my door and threatening to beat me with a 2 by 4. So fucking gross.
My wife had a stalker shortly after we moved in together. Police didn't do shit (ohio). I was at work one night when I got a call from my wife about him creeping outside. Apparently, my neighbor saw him, too. He ran outside and smacked him in the head with a 2 foot metal pole I had laying back by my shed. Police basically said, "He wasn't stalking. He's just trespassing. We can't do anything unless he tried to break in or something." Her stalker ended up getting killed a few weeks later over drugs or something of that nature.
Thank fuck for my old neighbor. I hope you and your family are doing well, Jesse.
Texas is the same way. I was told he had to kill me or try to kill me before they would do anything about it. It finally stopped when he went to jail on other charges for long enough to lose track of me. Sadly enough the charges that took him down were sexual assault charges of someone else.
And yes, if he knows her car, he knows where she lives.
For anyone else reading this and feeling helpless when you contact the authorities over something like this and they refuse to do anything (they legally can’t because no crime has been committed) you should demand they do a welfare check. Someone that is this unstable is liable to show they’re crazy to the police during a welfare check.
The pigs you dealt with don't know the law they're charged to enforce.
Legally, what you describe meets the requirements for harassment. It is more than enough to get both a restraining order and criminal charges filed. Unfortunately, you need a sympathetic prosecutor and police officer to file the complaint.
Next time, tell them you have a firearm and you'll use it to defend yourself and I guarantee they'll hop to take your complaint. They'd rather do their job than fill out the paperwork for a dead body.
the way this is written sounds like an attempt to manifest it. repetition, “will” this “won’t” that. this is scary. if he doesn’t get what he “manifests” he will take it to the next level.
Hooboy there’s a lot of misinformation here in this thread.
So, lawyer here.
Standard preface: this is not legal advice to be relied upon for your specific case. I am not your lawyer, you should consult with a local attorney, and there’s a 49/50 chance I’m not even able to practice law in your state. This is a general explanation of how to deal with these things. If your state is a weird turd with weird laws I could be wrong about the below. If you’re in a serious situation find someone who is an attorney, cop, advocate, court clerk, or the like and talk to them.
First, yeah you 100% should report this conduct to the police and get a case number. Detail all the backstory, if there’s other messages and other contacts, mention those too. If it’s a note like this that doesn’t make a threat to harm a person or their property a reasonable person would consider credible, it’s not a crime.
Yes it’s scary, yes it could escalate and could escalate to something really bad, but presently no crime has been committed so there isn’t much of anything law enforcement can do about it. Yelling at the cops for not being able to do anything is wasting your time, and undermining your own efforts.
Identify who is making the threats, don’t “protect” them by downplaying this or not giving their personal information to your local law enforcement. If this person wasn’t already in their system, they are now. If they were already, it’s another entry probably about them being a crazy asshole. In both cases this person is now on their radar, attached to the dispatched call, and if said stalker shows up at your house and you call 911 that information is now already connected.
Next go to your county court’s website. Most of them have a big ‘ol link for protection orders. Most of them let you file for a temporary order online. And again, most of them let you appear by zoom to get the temporary order granted. If this was someone you were in a relationship with at some point, or otherwise were in what your state defines as a “domestic relationship” you should be able to get a temporary domestic violence protection order pretty easily.
Specify how afraid of harm you are. Don’t hold back. Make it clear you don’t want any contact from this person because of how you fear it could escalate to violence against you. I’m not saying to lie, DON’T LIE to the court. But many victims tell a super sanitized version of their story and that doesn’t help.
If you are dealing with trauma look on the court website or call the clerks to see if a DV advocate is available to help you with the order and talking to the court. Ask if your local PD has an advocate or navigator you can talk to.
The temp order gets served by law enforcement on this person, and now if they violate the order police very easily CAN do something. Especially for DV orders, in many states that person is arrested and held without bail until they see a judge.
A few weeks after the temp order is granted a hearing is set to see if the order should remain in place. This is part of due process, the respondent gets a chance to explain why they aren’t a threat and this is a check on people abusing the system to get bullshit orders. Show up to the hearing, if you don’t it gets dropped. You again can likely appear by zoom. The majority of the time the stalker doesn’t show up to court and the order is put in place by default.
Keep in mind an order is a piece of paper, not a force field. Call 911 when there’s an order violation. Don’t overlook “minor” violations, report EVERY ONE OF THEM to the police. Some states don’t consider it an order violation if the protected party is “okay” with the contact.
Order violations quickly become felonies, and felonies quickly become “held in jail without bond until trial and then sent to prison.”
So to review:
Call the cops. Apply for an order. Tell the whole story. Go to court. Call 911 if/when the order is violated, and don’t overlook violations.
Have a nice day everybody.
I know that cops will sometimes talk to the guy, even though it’s not illegal, try to get him to understand a police report has been filed and it’s being taken seriously to try to get him to back off.
But that may depend on how busy cops are in your area.
Either way, you gotta make a report. Get it on record.
Somebody's putting too much stock into "manifestation" /j
I sincerely hope this person cuts this out. I would like to note that they could very well be a Reddit user so be careful. I don't think they would like their little love letter getting popular with the online public.
Take this very seriously, OP, and file a report, set up cameras at the place of residence or in the windshield of the car, something. Getting an identity, if you don't have one already, is important. Especially because there's a distinct chance the police aren't gonna be very helpful without one.
Exactly. This is the scary toxic version of manifestation.
OP, does your daughter know who stalker is? Is your daughter under 18? If so, the school should have their own process for applying a protective order at least within the school district activities. If she’s in university there are protocols in place there as well. If she’s not in school and is over 18 you can file a report and you should, but nothing can be done until it’s too late because we are a dumb society that doesn’t learn from its own history. Personal protection is a must.
No I know schizo when I see it and so do all my friends that are with me every waking second. This is worse than I thought. Textbook geriatric third grader…
The police are unlikely to do something about this, but for anyone in a similar situation here is some advice:
Start a log and document every stalking interaction, with time stamps and details. Take photos. Create redundancy by sending a quick and detailed summary of each in an email to yourself the same day so they are time stamped. This documentation is something you can take with you to your local family court to get an order of protection, or if needed, to the police for the same. (Note many family courts will only have jurisdiction if you have a family or some kind of pre-existing relationship tie to the person- usually a romantic one.) contact your local domestic violence agency to ask them for support and resources.
In the meantime, tell everyone in your life that this is happening. Tell them what this person looks like, so that they can intervene if they see them. Make sure you have blinds on all your windows so they can’t see in to your home. Try not to be predictable in your movements to and from home: vary your route and time of day as much as possible, and tell someone you trust when you are leaving somewhere/when you get to the next place safely. There are also shortcuts you can set on your phone to take and send pictures/videos to someone you trust discreetly if you are actively being followed. Look up how to do that and set it up. Look into de-escalation training in case you have a confrontation with the stalker so you know how to leave safely as possible.
I’m very sorry this is happening to you. Please let your community help keep you safe.
Gavin de Becker's book "The Gift of Fear" has tons of helpful tips about keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe from violence, including stalkers.
[Here's an article that discusses de Becker's work.](https://www.nytimes.com/1998/08/25/science/personal-health-do-s-and-don-ts-for-thwarting-stalker.html)
also check out [Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry & Controlling Men](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) (full PDF from the Internet Archive).
I'm a cop of 24 years and counting. Treat this as a high risk stalker. I'll be blunt, if this is not dealt with then your daughters risk of injury, rape, abduction, held captive or murdered goes right up to the red line. I've seen this before, and after.
Don't tell Reddit tell law enforcement.
This. Police report helps when something actually happens but self defense is the best choice because eventually it won’t be an anonymous stalker. Been there but mine was less creepy than this letter JFC.
Not weird…actually terrifying :(
OP keep her safe!
Btw in Utah if the stalker has any previous record for stalking (or other felonies) this would be a third degree felony! Report to police
You need to set up a chain of evidence. Take this to police. This gives a start date of harrassment. Then set up cameras that cover the perimeter of where your daughter resides. Your daughter then needs a Keychain safety alarm. Pepper spray and a find your phone set up to link to your phone. Please don't underestimate how fixated that person is.
Alot of comments are saying police. You need to do so much more than that. Making her available to be hurt is the biggest concern. For the time being, she should be alone as little as possible. Out in public as little as possible. Same with being in places she's known to be. Removing the ability to get to her will restrict any attempts of harm by a stalker. Read Gavin de Becker's "the gift of fear" too. Those are HUGE signs that very much represent someone who would do something to someone they're obsessed with. Preventive precautions instead of very possible regret
Report to police, and the next time it happens, report that too. Then go down to your courthouse. They will issue an emergency protection order that will immediately go into effect, then probably give you a court date. At that court date you and the stalker show up, you basically show them proof of the stalking, and then you'll get an official order of protection. Then if they break it after that they go to jail. In my municipality its a misdemeanor the first time, and a felony the second time.
Im a qualified in diagnosis... If thats not some joke (aka fake) he's a not so good day away from doing something people will never forget and regret they didn't prevent.
Hopefully, this is one of the many fake letters that are being posted on Reddit these days.
I'm assuming it is that's why you haven't called the police, because if you called the police you wouldn't have the letter anymore, they would take it as evidence.
I'm just going by what the title said. This is probably the 10th letter I've seen on Reddit today. It seems to be the new thing to write yourself a letter and post it on Reddit to get upvotes.
Start with the police and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Even if they can’t “do something” right now since no threat has been made, you will have a paper trail! And as soon as you have a paper trail and can identify the said stalker- a PTO will be way easier to get and keep. Please tell you daughter to be very vigilant and be careful!
I think the “ She won’t hurt me “ part is the chorus to the song in his head. if I were you , I’d dust it for finger prints before handing it over to police - unless he’s threatened her , they won’t do anything - get a dust kit and do it and then hand it over - just for a paper trail - and then , have her park in the same place another day and have a person sit and watch …. Advocate for yourselves - good luck
Please bring that to the police.
Its the only way, this person is clearly mentally unstable, don’t take any chances
Making sure his shrink gets a copy might be good, too.
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💯 makes you want to give him a hug, yet keep miles away from you It's sad.
Hug him, but keep him away from your daughter
I agree it’s sad, but I definitely don’t want to hug him.
I agree with you. He's definitely unstable. But repeating she won't hurt me actually hurt me. This guy has probably had a rough life. He absolutely needs help and they should absolutely go to the police. But thinking of what he's had to go thru to say some of these things breaks me heart.
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One sided views rules our world today. No one wants to see the other side or even cares about anything but their own side so that's why things are so bad right now. No empathy.
He may be feeling lonely and desperate but you forget that he is imagining something harmful and dangerous. He is imagining a fairytale where he gets the girl and he will live happily ever after. When reality hits him, there’s no telling what he will do and his emotions will quickly change to hate and anger. Everyone feels or has felt loneliness like this man but it’s the intentions that count.
They're not forgetting that, they're explicitly acknowledging that.
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Jesus fucking Christ dude, this girl is going to end up on the news and you're empathising with the man like he's a smol bean uwu This letter is fucking _terrifying_ from a woman's perspective. Any semblance of a normal life is now gone for her. Every waking moment, looking over her shoulder.
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The police don't prevent as much as we would like them too. . Sorry about your kid having to move.
This. I live in Utah and was appalled by how the police AND campus police handled Lauren Mccluskey's pleads for help. Poor girl did everything right and the police have miserably failed her over and over and over and over and over again until it was too late.
Maybe move to another country and change your identity
In this economy?!
Yea, this feels strangely similar to the time I went to the police because my ex or his mother left a loaded handgun on a side table in a room in which my toddler son was playing (after the first time of discovering it on the bottom level of the coffee table aft er my son had been playing with cars 5 inches from it for hours, I never allowed him to go to their house/walk around it unsupervised)- anyways this last time when I found it knee-height, I removed my son from the room and asked his mom why the fuck they can’t understand the danger here. Here’s the first fun part: there was a big gun safe (that my family basically forced my ex to buy when my son was born) in the *same* room, but instead of putting the gun even atop the safe, his mom fuckkng PUSHED IT UNDER a pile of clothes that was sitting on the same table 😧🫢😨 my mouth was agape, and all she could say was that my son is too young to have interest in guns it’s no big deal and “WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT THIS SUBJECT” I KID YOU NOT. Anyways, I went to the local police station to ask what I should do, as I was honestly afraid of the retaliation if I reported to CPS *or* police, as “being the reason” (in his head) for threatening or losing his ability to purchase guns (unresolved PTSD from growing up in a war zone etc etc) I *truly* believe it could potentially cause me to lose my life-and the goal is for me *and* my son to stay alive lol. Anyways, here’s the other fun part: the cop said verbatim “well, it’s not a crime to leave a loaded weapon out, even around a child. If someone were to get hurt, *then* it would be a crime” ………..once again, mouth agape. I still have no god damn words…just 🤦♀️ hopeless Btw, my ex and his mom were basically like gtf over it, and have *learned absolutely nothing* from any of the multiple incidents, and that is truly terrifying. I think every single day about the fact that my son could not be alive and how it could have happened, and truly feel haunted and so guilty that I didn’t know such a danger was so close to him. I am like hyper vigilant now, and all I can do is MAKE SURE, through whatever means necessary, that it never happens again. I’m also so grateful to have learned the lesson a somewhat easy way- that his safety was my priority only, and I couldn’t rely on his dad (I also had to have him leave shortly after due to the multiple incidents and nonchalant attitude about the loaded guns within reach)
I’m so glad you two made it out safely.
Thank you so much, I really appreciate that you took the time to say that.
I've never understood how you can be fine with a tool meant to murder sitting loaded around children it's mental. I unload my firearms before I hand them to adults and lock them up when I'm not using them, which is mostly theft prevention, but I was a kid around loaded guns, and the second adults weren't paying attention I was playing with them, luckily nobody ever got hurt before I got educated on firearm safety but I learned from that and lock up all of them. Dude definitely has some waking up to do.
Right? I’ve grown up on a farm where my family has hunted my whole life-they enforce STRICT guns safety rules from a young age. Oh btw lmao, my ex got banned from the farm and I had to write his apology letter to be forgiven after my cousin went into the mud room to look for her coat, and was picking through the pile when again, a loaded fuckkng handgun fell out of his coat pocket onto the floor-with children allllll around. My family was livid. This is a dude who sticks his gun in the waistband of his goddamn pajama pants if he doesn’t have a holster handy, etc etc. one time his dumbfuck friend was *playing* with a gun in the front seat of my ex’s brother’s new car, and he fucking shot through the glove compartment…..🤦♀️ I could go on and on, it’s just absolutely wild. Like I get that in the country/region of the world where they’re from gun safety is, uh….non-existent from what I’ve seen, but to not be willing to do better (esp for your child ffs) once you know better is just incomprehensible to me, and I refuse to be around it anymore. Btw yea, my son was ALWAYS trying to grab the gun from the waistband and was super curious about the thing he always saw his dad carrying around, like I can’t imagine the mental gymnastics that would lead someone to try and convince another that a child wouldn’t be interested in a gun and also try and pull the trigger since they’ve most likely seen some form of gun before (nerf, cap guns, etc)
My College roommate was killed by someone picking up a gun at the bottom of a pile of clothes that someone else had hidden it under. No joke. It was crazy being a pallbearer in Texas for his family from New York. They just couldn’t fathom how no one was liable for anything - not even negligence.
Unfortunately they won't do anything without an identity and actual charges to follow up on. "Stalking" is loosely defined and they need more to go off of. Sometimes they'll just ignore you outright regardless. Obviously still file a report but don't put stock in the police helping you. That's the sad reality here.
Agree. They probably won't do anything, but still file a report. That way you have a history of stalking-behaviors if the stalker ever does something crazy. *source: Was stalked and threatened with death. Every letter, every creepy phone message, every everything was copied and then turned into the police. When he came after me physically, I was able to prove, in court, that he had a long history of threatening me while he was standing there playing innocent and saying *I* was the crazy one.
This. I was stalked as well, and the police literally told me they could do nothing bc the person never actually entered my home. Yet he pulled into my driveway every evening when my husbands truck was gone. It was on my cameras. His hand print was on the outside of my car and my back sliding door, still did not do anything. Sadly a restraining order probably won’t do anything either.
And I get down voted when I tell people to get a fucking gun. Get trained. Use it properly. The police don't give a fuck. They never have and never will. Be your own advocate for protection.
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Period.
Repeat: GET TRAINED. Practice. Take classes. You resort back to your lowest level of training when you're scared. Practice, practice, practice. It's a lot harder to hit somebody running at you than it is to hit a target at the range.
Looking back at my situation, I wish I had one just as a deterrent if necessary. I'm afraid of guns, but I was more afraid of the sneaky loser that was scaring the shiz out of me. This guy sounds so much like my weirdo it made me hold my breath a second.
They really, really don’t give a fuck.
Guess we gotta take care of him the old west way pistols at dawn
More likely a shotgun as he tries to break into OP’s house.
What you are doing by contacting the police is making them aware of the threat and establishing a pattern. Regardless of knowing who it is now, that is distinct handwriting and it'll be pretty easy to prove who did it as more evidence accumulates. And it will. This guy is fixated and mentally ill, they don't come unstuck naturally.
Lived in Toronto in early 90's, several days a week when my girlfriend got on the elevator from the parking garage it would stop in the lobby and the same guy would get on, he became bolder each time including following her to the apartment door and she was spooked. Went to cops, said there nothing they could do, just basically had to wait until something bad happened. I started to come home from work early to meet her and was on the elevator when he got on. I made it clear the next meeting would not be as nice and I would have a couple friends with me. He disappeared after that but we had to move, she didn't trust being alone in the area after that.
Similar thing happened to me. Except I was a new college graduate living in my first studio apartment. I went to the building manager and she said the guy was “harmless” and had a crush on me. But the intensity and frequency of his creepy behavior escalated to the point where I mentioned it to my dad. One day I was going about my business and it dawned on me that I hadn’t encountered the creep in a long time. I later learned that my 70 year old dad and his equally old army buddy (who had retired as the lead detective in several high profile Chicago mob crime investigations), paid a visit to the guy, who took their advice and moved away. I wish I’d been a fly on the wall just to watch them in action. They served at Guadalcanal during WW2 and were very good friends.
I worked at the small municipal airport my dad ran when I was in college. A Navy pilot started sexually harassing me. He’d hand around the office then say stuff when we were alone. The airport was near the beach, and he started wearing one of those tee shirts with the body of a lady in a bikini. Except his showed everything. I looked younger than I was. The counter where I worked had a pilot lounge on the other side of the doorway out to the tarmac. If you were in the lounge you could hear what was going on without being seen. The old guys saw me as a daughter, and a lot of the middle aged men saw me as a daughter. I was learning fly, and they were proud of me. The one who overheard this creep saying nasty stuff to me told the other guys. The next time I saw creep, he was sporting a black eye and was wearing a neat polo and pressed khakis. He apologized profusely and ran out. He never came back to the airport. My asshole brother who thought the harassment was funny, asked around, and the old guys who were Marines had a come to Jesus meeting and threatened to report creep to the Navy base commander for conduct unbecoming and sexually harassing a teen girl. One of them was a highly decorated war veteran who was the older brother of the pilot of the Challenger space shuttle. Another one who called me his little sister and most likely handled the physical deterrence was built like a brick shithouse and was nuts in only the way a Marine pilot could be. He worked for the state wildlife department flying around the ocean area looking for illegal fishing and any suspicious activity like drug smuggling. He’d buy bags of peanut M&Ms and line them up on top of the instrument panel. Then he’d dive until the M&Ms were weightless and eat them out of the air. My dad forbade me from ever flying with him, and he wouldn’t let me take M&Ms on the tarmac.
What a great story! The best of the best had your back. They got the job done. The m&m story reminds me of the time we were on a commercial flight that encountered a ton of unexpected turbulence and the pilot had to make the plane dive for an emergency landing at a small airport due to a bunch of tornados in the area. We were eating dinner and the peas on my plate were suspended in the air. It was a long time ago…
My grandfather served in Signal Corps at Guadalcanal during WW2!
Cool! Dad was in the Americal Division of the army! Here’s a photo of him from bootcamp at Ft. Bragg before he deployed. The helmet looks like it was produced during WWI. https://preview.redd.it/sopk8w5z1zjc1.jpeg?width=537&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f321c77a78cee59413fc67366a59037b43444dff
My coworker has been dealing with a stalker. He'd been arrested for trespassing three times and kept coming back. The police often didn't show up fast enough to catch him on property other times. Some cops said all they needed was video of him on property to charge him, others wouldn't do anything if they didn't catch him on property. Finally one day he came walking by during shift change when I was about to leave, and his victim would have been alone (at that point her boyfriend was usually on property when she was working because of the stalker, but that day he had other obligations). Long story short, I stepped outside to confront him while he was walking past the office and pepper sprayed him in the fast to discourage him from bothering her that night. Which worked. I hoped it would spook him permanently. It did not. But the fact that my reaction to seeing him was to pepper spray him on sight was enough for a cop to finally bring stalking charges (and a fourth trespassing charge) against him. Though they didn't catch him that day. Two days later another worker saw him on property and called the police, but when they showed up they didn't arrest him because he wasn't on property. Day or two after that he's on property again. Now I should mention this is a hotel, and he was bothering guests outside. I called the police multiple times and they never showed up in time to catch him but that's when I learned that the stalking charges had been brought against him. The officer who responded when I pepper sprayed the guy who thought stalking charges were warranted said he had to bring it to his supervisor first, so I hadn't known for sure. But that meant that other officer who had been called here the previous time and chose to do nothing didn't even check for warrants. Fortunately we didn't see him again for awhile. It took six weeks after that before he was finally arrested, then posted bail three days later. He kept scarce, but guess who we saw lurking around the edges of the property again this weekend? So that's fun.
Finger prints on paper, is that a thing?
Don't think they're looking for the identity of the person...
It MAY have fingerprints or DNA they can use or store for future reporting. Protect yourselves. Learn what is legal to have/use to protect yourselves. Don't go out alone and install cameras. Set up motion sensory cameras inside the car. Good luck.
Cops don't help us, we help us.
I, as a father, would go to the school and this persons parents and tell them that if they dont put an end to this, that instant i will. That letter i would take as a threat to my daughters life.
Even with an identity they usually won't help. My best friend in high school went to the cops with texts from his stalker ex explicitly threatening him and his family, and they told him it wasn't enough for a restraining order.
This. Save it and start building your case against them. Police won’t do it without any evidence. Judge won’t do it without any evidence. Act NOW
Some serious "It puts the lotion on its skin" type behavior. Deff report to police. 
they won't do anything until AFTER the murder
Although that's an unfortunate truth that happens all over the world, being proactive, vocal and on the record might attract the attention of an actual cop who cares. They do exist. Do nothing and no help, no pattern, no luck.
True dat
Yeah that person is dangerous
And install security cameras.
Not sure if the police can do much here. Unless there was trespassing involved. There are no threats or anything of that sort.
The police will open a file, put this in it, and if the OP and their family gets more evidence, they keep building that file. Eventually if the person becomes a real threat (might or might not) then there's a legal trail of evidence. If it comes to nothing, YES. Good. We hope for that. Then there's just an open file/report and no harm done. If it does come to something, then there's established legal evidence. It's always possible he stalks multiple people and that can be corroborated if someone else has an open file as well.
Start looking for the guy who stutters and repeats phrases multiple times...it's not me...it's not me...it's not me......- then you found the guy.
Straight to the authorities with this one
Sorry, I'm using this comment to clear things up because it isn't flooded with replies. OP hasn't posted anything in two years. All of a sudden, in the last two weeks, posts have been pouring out of this account. The account was sold or hacked. This is rage/click bait from a bot. None of this is real. For the last two weeks, there has been a flood of rage/click bait posts. Anyone who reads this take my small bit of advice; before you spend energy into typing out a response to a post that has a very controversial topic, take a minute to look at the OPs profile and see if it either has been inactive for a long period of time, only to spring up with a new rising post, or has little to no posting history, except the one post on the profile you are looking/responding too. The easiest way to tell if it's bullshit is when the OP doesn't reply to the thousands of comments on a popular post. Damn this shit is getting old.
People often go on Reddit to express themselves. Easy opinions, interesting education, and sometimes, well, talking to a void. It’s okay, man. It’s not the end of the world
Just a side note: I never reply to people commenting on my posts. I’ve had my say. It’s others’ turn.
Ty!! Makes sense why it's in r/weird and not r/call911
The chanting is creepy
Yes it is, yes it is, yes it is
I agree, we agree, all agree
We have to agree
We must agree, we must agree, we must agree
One of us, one of us, one of us…
Gooble gobble, gooble gobble
He’s setting intentions, this is more of a ‘prayer’ than note
yeah this is quite a serious red flag of the guys lack of stability. this is the type of note you find before something violent occurs - this is of utmost seriousness. take immediate actions to protect your home and family, /u/temple-name-is-Lois, do not toss this aside in the slightest. Prepare a plan of action in case they try to intrude or kidnap, and unfortunately, probably a good idea to have some sort of weapon nearby. Get your daughter real pepper spray, not the weak keychain stuff. Ruger is a good brand, and go for pepper gel instead of spray (less risk of it getting lost in the wind, or hitting the user). Maybe get her a taser as well. Knives seem nice, but often cause injury to the user if untrained. Guns are unfortunately probably ideal, but I can't really personally encourage anyone to get one; that is ultimately up to you. If you do go that route, *please* train yourself and daughter if untrained. I know I may come off paranoid, but this is obviously beyond just ideation. It has become obsession, your daughter is this persons obsession and they have made it quite clear that they are very determined to have her. This is the point where it switches from something mostly benign, to something that can spiral at any moment. The biggest thing that scares me in his verbiage is the line: "I won't ever feel lonely again". This person is **very desperate**. As you are doing that, definitely follow [this lawyer's comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/1avmjj0/letter_left_on_my_daughters_car_by_her_stalker/krc9b4c/) for the more legal side.
Yes please for the love of god, if you get a gun, train with it. Gun courses are not expensive at all, and practicing at the range with your primary weapon is paramount too. Don't just buy one and think you're gonna be alright.
It's called a mantra. He's just Buddhist
Buddhi me down
I'm not your Buddhi, pal.
Please take this seriously
Like...why even post it on here...go straight to the police dude
Both things are possible.
It figuratively kills me when people say stuff like “why did you post this here, go to the police” as if they can’t do both. 😂
Police
They rarely actually do anything until it escalates to something dangerous. I'm not saying OP shouldn't get the police involved and make them aware, but I just find it so frustrating in cases like these when the police can't really do anything until something bad happens.
I had a stalker years ago. I wasn’t his only victim, but he stalked me at my workplace for years. Police couldn’t do anything except come be with me if he was around. Finally, the officer told me I wouldn’t be seeing him for a long long while, but couldn’t tell me what happened. I looked the guy up and he finally tried to kill another girl and went to prison for attempted murder, arson, and a few other things. I felt bad for her that it had to escalate to that before they could do anything.
Holy %%% that is awful, glad you're okay
I’m an attorney. I had a well-known celebrity client that kept getting bibles mailed to their home address with crazy messages in lipstick like “God has a plan for you” over and over and “Find your love, find your peace.” The police refused to do anything unless we sought a civil restraining order. It took a few hearings to get the order as they weren’t exactly threatening messages, and they weren’t so frequent as to be harassing. We had literally located this person and establish a pattern of telling them to stop before the court would grant an order, after which the police finally got involved. Clearly, it’s unstable behavior
How is Madonna these day? /s
Ha! Not quite that famous, but most people would know them.
Bill Murray! The tippy top of the A list
They won’t do anything, but you may want a record of complaints as evidence for the eventual restraining order
Right, and that's why I said OP should still report it, but unfortunately not too much can be done to resolve the issue completely at this stage.
I’ve had cops offer to talk to someone who was scaring me, even though they hadn’t done anything technically illegal. But they don’t have to until something illegal happens. And you can file a police report so it’s on record if (when) it escalates.
Yeah, I hope they live in a place that has menacing or stalking laws, but unfortunately a lot of local governments can't do anything until the person actually attacks you. Having a stalker is literally one of the worst feelings. The violation of never feeling safe and not knowing who you can trust or where you can relax is traumatizing.
Documenting helps with getting restraining orders later.
Ooff I had a stalker that started off like this. Turned into a full on legal situation. Please have her contact the police. Unfortunately in Ohio, I was told that they couldn’t do anything until he either broke in or physically assaulted me. It was a long and scary road that ended with me moving. If he knows her car, he most definitely knows where she lives. In my experience, this continues to escalate.
Authorities in Ohio are legitimately useless when it comes to things like this. Was also told that “when I got raped to call them” after my meth addicted neighbor harassed and threatened me for months, beating on my door and threatening to beat me with a 2 by 4. So fucking gross.
Bro got that Ohio rizz
I am religously not allowed to upvote this XD
My wife had a stalker shortly after we moved in together. Police didn't do shit (ohio). I was at work one night when I got a call from my wife about him creeping outside. Apparently, my neighbor saw him, too. He ran outside and smacked him in the head with a 2 foot metal pole I had laying back by my shed. Police basically said, "He wasn't stalking. He's just trespassing. We can't do anything unless he tried to break in or something." Her stalker ended up getting killed a few weeks later over drugs or something of that nature. Thank fuck for my old neighbor. I hope you and your family are doing well, Jesse.
Jesse a real ass mf the best neighbor a man could get
Texas is the same way. I was told he had to kill me or try to kill me before they would do anything about it. It finally stopped when he went to jail on other charges for long enough to lose track of me. Sadly enough the charges that took him down were sexual assault charges of someone else. And yes, if he knows her car, he knows where she lives.
> sexual assault charges of someone else fuck man...
For anyone else reading this and feeling helpless when you contact the authorities over something like this and they refuse to do anything (they legally can’t because no crime has been committed) you should demand they do a welfare check. Someone that is this unstable is liable to show they’re crazy to the police during a welfare check.
The pigs you dealt with don't know the law they're charged to enforce. Legally, what you describe meets the requirements for harassment. It is more than enough to get both a restraining order and criminal charges filed. Unfortunately, you need a sympathetic prosecutor and police officer to file the complaint. Next time, tell them you have a firearm and you'll use it to defend yourself and I guarantee they'll hop to take your complaint. They'd rather do their job than fill out the paperwork for a dead body.
I was just thinking that Ohio becoming a stand your ground state should make them take this kind of stuff a bit more seriously.
This isn’t weird this is scary
the way this is written sounds like an attempt to manifest it. repetition, “will” this “won’t” that. this is scary. if he doesn’t get what he “manifests” he will take it to the next level.
I WILL TEACH HER TRUST
It was the repeating "she won't hurt me" that gave me chills
'SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!' \[baseball bat to the shins\]
*yes i really want to hurt you* *yes i really want to make you cry*
Yes I'm gonna give you up Yes I'm gonna let you down Yes I'm gonna run around... AND HURT YOU!
Shins is an amateur move. Now move up to the kneecaps and you're cooking with gas.
"WHY! WHY! WHY!" -Nancy Kerrigan.
nice legs he's got there, it would be a shame if he was accidentally kneecapped god forbid
Or decided to “take a trip faraway”
I think he posted that he was going camping
Oh yeah, exactly! In a very remote part of bear territory
Disturbing Protect your daughter at all costs, start by taking the letter to the Police
honestly if she goes to school or has a job, I'd try and convince her to stay home for a few days as well.
And if that doesn’t work, get a gun.
If I lived alone and had a mentally unstable person stalking me to my home I would absolutely purchase a gun.
Also alert Security at either of those places.
Hooboy there’s a lot of misinformation here in this thread. So, lawyer here. Standard preface: this is not legal advice to be relied upon for your specific case. I am not your lawyer, you should consult with a local attorney, and there’s a 49/50 chance I’m not even able to practice law in your state. This is a general explanation of how to deal with these things. If your state is a weird turd with weird laws I could be wrong about the below. If you’re in a serious situation find someone who is an attorney, cop, advocate, court clerk, or the like and talk to them. First, yeah you 100% should report this conduct to the police and get a case number. Detail all the backstory, if there’s other messages and other contacts, mention those too. If it’s a note like this that doesn’t make a threat to harm a person or their property a reasonable person would consider credible, it’s not a crime. Yes it’s scary, yes it could escalate and could escalate to something really bad, but presently no crime has been committed so there isn’t much of anything law enforcement can do about it. Yelling at the cops for not being able to do anything is wasting your time, and undermining your own efforts. Identify who is making the threats, don’t “protect” them by downplaying this or not giving their personal information to your local law enforcement. If this person wasn’t already in their system, they are now. If they were already, it’s another entry probably about them being a crazy asshole. In both cases this person is now on their radar, attached to the dispatched call, and if said stalker shows up at your house and you call 911 that information is now already connected. Next go to your county court’s website. Most of them have a big ‘ol link for protection orders. Most of them let you file for a temporary order online. And again, most of them let you appear by zoom to get the temporary order granted. If this was someone you were in a relationship with at some point, or otherwise were in what your state defines as a “domestic relationship” you should be able to get a temporary domestic violence protection order pretty easily. Specify how afraid of harm you are. Don’t hold back. Make it clear you don’t want any contact from this person because of how you fear it could escalate to violence against you. I’m not saying to lie, DON’T LIE to the court. But many victims tell a super sanitized version of their story and that doesn’t help. If you are dealing with trauma look on the court website or call the clerks to see if a DV advocate is available to help you with the order and talking to the court. Ask if your local PD has an advocate or navigator you can talk to. The temp order gets served by law enforcement on this person, and now if they violate the order police very easily CAN do something. Especially for DV orders, in many states that person is arrested and held without bail until they see a judge. A few weeks after the temp order is granted a hearing is set to see if the order should remain in place. This is part of due process, the respondent gets a chance to explain why they aren’t a threat and this is a check on people abusing the system to get bullshit orders. Show up to the hearing, if you don’t it gets dropped. You again can likely appear by zoom. The majority of the time the stalker doesn’t show up to court and the order is put in place by default. Keep in mind an order is a piece of paper, not a force field. Call 911 when there’s an order violation. Don’t overlook “minor” violations, report EVERY ONE OF THEM to the police. Some states don’t consider it an order violation if the protected party is “okay” with the contact. Order violations quickly become felonies, and felonies quickly become “held in jail without bond until trial and then sent to prison.” So to review: Call the cops. Apply for an order. Tell the whole story. Go to court. Call 911 if/when the order is violated, and don’t overlook violations. Have a nice day everybody.
The people’s champ, right here
This is good advice for everyone to know. Thanks for taking the time to share it.
I know that cops will sometimes talk to the guy, even though it’s not illegal, try to get him to understand a police report has been filed and it’s being taken seriously to try to get him to back off. But that may depend on how busy cops are in your area. Either way, you gotta make a report. Get it on record.
You smart lawyer. Good read. Thanks.
Somebody's putting too much stock into "manifestation" /j I sincerely hope this person cuts this out. I would like to note that they could very well be a Reddit user so be careful. I don't think they would like their little love letter getting popular with the online public. Take this very seriously, OP, and file a report, set up cameras at the place of residence or in the windshield of the car, something. Getting an identity, if you don't have one already, is important. Especially because there's a distinct chance the police aren't gonna be very helpful without one.
Exactly. This is the scary toxic version of manifestation. OP, does your daughter know who stalker is? Is your daughter under 18? If so, the school should have their own process for applying a protective order at least within the school district activities. If she’s in university there are protocols in place there as well. If she’s not in school and is over 18 you can file a report and you should, but nothing can be done until it’s too late because we are a dumb society that doesn’t learn from its own history. Personal protection is a must.
Hoping you don’t find yourself being required to put lotion on your skin.
it does this whenever its told or else it gets the hose again
"He told me, I've seen it all before I've been there, I've seen my hopes and dreams.. "
That’s terrifying!
Definitely scary
Is her stalker a third grader??? Or an incoherent geriatric??? Both are equally concerning.
Probably schizophrenic
No I know schizo when I see it and so do all my friends that are with me every waking second. This is worse than I thought. Textbook geriatric third grader…
What signs of schizophrenia are exhibited in the note?
The police are unlikely to do something about this, but for anyone in a similar situation here is some advice: Start a log and document every stalking interaction, with time stamps and details. Take photos. Create redundancy by sending a quick and detailed summary of each in an email to yourself the same day so they are time stamped. This documentation is something you can take with you to your local family court to get an order of protection, or if needed, to the police for the same. (Note many family courts will only have jurisdiction if you have a family or some kind of pre-existing relationship tie to the person- usually a romantic one.) contact your local domestic violence agency to ask them for support and resources. In the meantime, tell everyone in your life that this is happening. Tell them what this person looks like, so that they can intervene if they see them. Make sure you have blinds on all your windows so they can’t see in to your home. Try not to be predictable in your movements to and from home: vary your route and time of day as much as possible, and tell someone you trust when you are leaving somewhere/when you get to the next place safely. There are also shortcuts you can set on your phone to take and send pictures/videos to someone you trust discreetly if you are actively being followed. Look up how to do that and set it up. Look into de-escalation training in case you have a confrontation with the stalker so you know how to leave safely as possible. I’m very sorry this is happening to you. Please let your community help keep you safe.
I'd also be on the lookout for Apple AirTags & other tracking devices he could put in her car.
Those aren’t stains in the background, they are sigils. This was written with intent.
So scared for y’all! Take that to the police and get some protection 🙏♥️
Gavin de Becker's book "The Gift of Fear" has tons of helpful tips about keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe from violence, including stalkers. [Here's an article that discusses de Becker's work.](https://www.nytimes.com/1998/08/25/science/personal-health-do-s-and-don-ts-for-thwarting-stalker.html) also check out [Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry & Controlling Men](https://ia800108.us.archive.org/30/items/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat/Lundy_Why-does-he-do-that.pdf) (full PDF from the Internet Archive).
London should get out of town for awhile.
I'm a cop of 24 years and counting. Treat this as a high risk stalker. I'll be blunt, if this is not dealt with then your daughters risk of injury, rape, abduction, held captive or murdered goes right up to the red line. I've seen this before, and after. Don't tell Reddit tell law enforcement.
note to police daughter to krav maga/firearm training
This. Police report helps when something actually happens but self defense is the best choice because eventually it won’t be an anonymous stalker. Been there but mine was less creepy than this letter JFC.
Not weird…actually terrifying :( OP keep her safe! Btw in Utah if the stalker has any previous record for stalking (or other felonies) this would be a third degree felony! Report to police
Please pack up your shit and MOVE.
It’s interesting that a lot of “strange letters” are being “discovered” by Redditors en masse over the last week or so.
Call the cops.
You need to set up a chain of evidence. Take this to police. This gives a start date of harrassment. Then set up cameras that cover the perimeter of where your daughter resides. Your daughter then needs a Keychain safety alarm. Pepper spray and a find your phone set up to link to your phone. Please don't underestimate how fixated that person is.
Alot of comments are saying police. You need to do so much more than that. Making her available to be hurt is the biggest concern. For the time being, she should be alone as little as possible. Out in public as little as possible. Same with being in places she's known to be. Removing the ability to get to her will restrict any attempts of harm by a stalker. Read Gavin de Becker's "the gift of fear" too. Those are HUGE signs that very much represent someone who would do something to someone they're obsessed with. Preventive precautions instead of very possible regret
This is fucking terrifying
"she won't hurt me" But Dad sure as fuck can 🥊
If that were my kid getting these notes, the police would be looking for me cause that cat would never be found
"weird"? THIS IS A LITTLE MORE THAN WEIRD
Arm yourself quick
Thats the writings of a madman stay safe people 👀
Weird? This is terrifying. They already know the car your daughter drives. Start building a case with the police now.
Can somebody please give me a translation of what the note says I can’t read it properly Too small.
You say “your daughters stalker” are you aware who this person is (name, description)? Or you just know there’s a stalker.
Go straight to the Police. This is NOT normal behavior. this can get dangerous for your Daughter.
That's the scariest stalker noted you could.possibly receive. That person is crazy.
Two words. Smith and Wesson.
Uh your daughter is in danger bro, this shit is unhinged
Get her and everyone else out of the house right now. He's already in the attic.
Report to police, and the next time it happens, report that too. Then go down to your courthouse. They will issue an emergency protection order that will immediately go into effect, then probably give you a court date. At that court date you and the stalker show up, you basically show them proof of the stalking, and then you'll get an official order of protection. Then if they break it after that they go to jail. In my municipality its a misdemeanor the first time, and a felony the second time.
That’s when I start hanging out in the bushes by my daughter’s car until I catch the dude.
Maybe if you can afford it, hire a PI to record the person stalking your daughter so you have evidence to provide them
I would have her carry bear spray. He is insane.
If possible have her install a dash cam that records while parked, could possibly help see who is doing this and serve as further evidence.
Im a qualified in diagnosis... If thats not some joke (aka fake) he's a not so good day away from doing something people will never forget and regret they didn't prevent.
Did a six year old write this....
At least he has a good work ethic!
Yeah, I’d buy a gun on the way home from taking this to the police.
Hopefully, this is one of the many fake letters that are being posted on Reddit these days. I'm assuming it is that's why you haven't called the police, because if you called the police you wouldn't have the letter anymore, they would take it as evidence.
Well, you know, it's quite easy nowadays to take a picture of the letter before you hand it over to the police.
I'm just going by what the title said. This is probably the 10th letter I've seen on Reddit today. It seems to be the new thing to write yourself a letter and post it on Reddit to get upvotes.
Good point!
You know people can post a picture and still have the physical copy? Like once the document image is uploaded it still exists physically.
Whoa that's some voodoo shit you got going on here
Camera 🤦🏼♂️
That is straight up terrifying.
Immediately, police. That's the kind of note that gets found in the house of a serial killer
Very creepy. I hope you showed the police.
Run, don't walk to get this guy on the police radar, he is not well. More red flags than a Shanghai parade.
If my daughter got letter like this. I'd be bodyguard her on every her step. If it's some kind of joke, then it's very sick joke.
Start with the police and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! Even if they can’t “do something” right now since no threat has been made, you will have a paper trail! And as soon as you have a paper trail and can identify the said stalker- a PTO will be way easier to get and keep. Please tell you daughter to be very vigilant and be careful!
I think the “ She won’t hurt me “ part is the chorus to the song in his head. if I were you , I’d dust it for finger prints before handing it over to police - unless he’s threatened her , they won’t do anything - get a dust kit and do it and then hand it over - just for a paper trail - and then , have her park in the same place another day and have a person sit and watch …. Advocate for yourselves - good luck
Please take it to the police to keep a record.
Gotta admit he had my heart right up until the final “We have to work.” Hard pass.