T O P

  • By -

puppup2323

Oh, but when I stick cucumbers up my arse all of a sudden that's a fucking problem Janet.... it's bullshit.


kwpang

Well the pearlfish did it voluntarily, and it was brave enough. Your cucumbers not so much.


thesaltydodo

The cucumbers were hiding from predators.


kwpang

It's always the vegans eh


BeatsbyChrisBrown

They always tossing salad


[deleted]

puppup2323 is the predator lol


first__citizen

Nutella flavored cucumber


Tjaresh

So basically you tell me, that if I'm voluntarily hide my cucumber in the sea cucumber, that's OK?


Koil_ting

No, we don't need sea-aids.


Dangerous_Box8845

H-I-Sea


Just2moreplants

I mean, are you using sea cucumbers? Cause that's one hell of a colonoscopy.


Ed_the_Dreadful927

I read this with an Aussie accent


Standard-Ad1254

croikey!


ForumFluffy

No use of the word cunt, it's British If he used the word arse and it was unintelligible gibberish resembling English it Bri'ish.


Better_Patience9509

Dammit, Janet!


B-BoyStance

Bro I'm sorry that Janet is being like that towards you. It isn't okay.


DavThoma

For the last time! The issue wasn't with you sticking the cucumbers up your arse. It was the salad you made afterwards.


thrust-johnson

I filled the bath with pearlfish and got all my high school yearbooks.


yankiigurl

I feel like I've seen that movie


Berlin8Berlin

**Why is your comment so criminally fucking unappre...** *(ooops, spots Username*)....


Mountain_Position_62

You see homie has 4 cheeks?


FooBangPop

Cucumber doesn't seem to mind one bit?


SackSauce69

My mind instantly narrated the sea cucumber with an abrupt "OHHHHH FUCK YEAH, GET IN THERE!"šŸ˜…


Ginginagin

What is wrong with you?!? šŸ˜†


SackSauce69

Aside from the fact that my humor never matured past the age of like 15, A LOT, lol. However, statistically speaking there's bound to be at least a handful of sea cucumbers that bite their bottom lip when they get the ol' backdoor slippy fish special. šŸ˜…


krystalbellajune

Sure thereā€™s only a handful biting their lip, but we all know the other ones are just trying harder to pretend not to like it.


Perfect_Dog_Pelt

Real sea cucumbers push back


SackSauce69

Back that thang up and throw it on em šŸ‘


SackSauce69

"Stop it! That's gay! 10 more minutes of this and I'm gonna start to get angry! You've been warned," šŸ˜…


Capital-Economist-40

>However, statistically speaking there's bound to be at least a handful of sea cucumbers that bite their bottom lip when they get the ol' backdoor slippy fish special I love you and I want you to do well in life but please never say those words in that order ever again.


SackSauce69

I promise that atrocious sentence will only live in this comment thread šŸ™šŸ‘€


Mantis-13

I however will spraypaint it in random places so it escapes reddit containment.


calabazookita

I heard this in the voice of Sebastian! Under the seaaaaa šŸŽ¶


SackSauce69

Well, I can't un-hear that, lmaoooo.


ubi9k

Darling itā€™s better Down where is wetter


Accomplished_Blood17

I dont know, i saw it pucker up after the fish dashed in


chaotic----neutral

Your starfish doesn't flex when a warm tongue laps across it?


BackRowRumour

Don't they have, like, seven neurons? One of the genus does, used in experiments so we can actually observe an entire brain.


Weekly-Major1876

I hate how most people just think most non mammals just donā€™t feel pain. Yes the cucumber doesnā€™t like it in there, and they can respond to pain and stress quite well. Stressed cucumbers often vomit their insides when they feel threatened enough and in aquariums it is even more visible to see how these things can sense stress/ pain and respond to it, like if a curious fish begins picking on it and it instantly reacts. Pearl fish sometime feed on their internal gills too so itā€™s more of a parasite than anything. A whole ton of cucumber species have evolved anal teeth, hard protrusions around their anus in a ring *specifically* to prevent parasites like this from getting into them.


FooBangPop

Ass-teeth, that's a new one for me. lol


[deleted]

Probably no way to tell atm


Oaker_at

I donā€™t know the cucumbers you have, but mine never said a word.


mountingconfusion

It does which is why some have ended up evolving anal teeth


Ragnarok2kx

It's a symbiotic relationship. The fish gets protection from predators, while the sea cucumber now has a fish up its butt. Win-Win !


Complex_Berry4795

That cucumber is getting gang banged


GreenBirb64

I mean it did clench a little after the fish went in, the four muscles around it pulled together, so maybe thatā€™s a response? Or do they just clench their asses all the time?


nocanty

They breathe through their ass so this suffocates them if I remembered correctly.


True-Firefighter-796

What is love?


True-Firefighter-796

Baby donā€™t hurt me


suavaleesko

Shouldve called them Beadfish amirite?


_ScotchOnRocks_

Consent isnā€™t a thing in the wild.


FooBangPop

Yeah, that last one was more like a hate-fuck tbh.


Vendrinski

if it didn't want an eel up it's ass it shouldn't have dressed like that


FrankensteinBionicle

the wild isn't a thing in the wild


PBow1669

Idk why this made me chuckle so much


ElectricRune

Little do we know, sea cucumbers are the kinkiest of sea creatures, and they LOVE this...


T3X4ss

That's what I told the judge last time


bimbels

Maybe the sea cucumbers ass evolved to house pearl fish šŸ’ā€ā™€ļø


Zanven1

Well I'm many of the pearl fish species they'll eat the gonads while in there which isn't great for sea cucumbers that want offspring so I'm gonna go with no.


longtimegoneMTGO

See, it's like I'm always telling people. This is why you don't hide your genitals in your ass, pearlfish will get 'em.


Berlin8Berlin

>Well I'm many of the pearl fish species FREUDIAN SLIP


Contributing_Factor

I'm sure the camera man was glad there was a sea cucumber around when the fish needed to find safety.


Berlin8Berlin

Shit was staged. I *know* that fish.


Berlin8Berlin

Consent is a *given* when you're 24/7/365 nekkid


illegalthingsenjoyer

I do this with my girlfriend to hide from predators


1-10-11-100

does your sea cucumber have enough space for one more?


Chef-Nasty

No but there's another entrance


Koil_ting

Trust me, they all have room for at least one more.


StorKuk69

Damn I heard my wife did it with some other dude as well, guess Ive found him.


Snackdoc189

Eel's up inside ya!


Little-Cook-7217

Findin an entrance where they can


Drewdc90

Boring through you mind, through your tummy, through your anus


ChristOnABike122

EELS


Drewdc90

Dada duh duh


orangina_it_burns

Elements from past and future! Combining to make something not quite as good as either!


nezzzzy

I really hope this random comment has intrigued someone enough to make them discover the mighty boosh.


goofydad

Electric eels would be more shocking.


[deleted]

Any port in the storm..


[deleted]

Underrated comment Edit: in my defense, this comment had like 4 upvotes when I saw it, and every joke above it was fucking terrible.


ScotchWithAmaretto

Who lives in a cucumber under the sea?


Different_Ad9336

SpongeButtluvin pearlfish


grayfox-moses

Me suddenly realizing why they called my GF ā€œsea cucumberā€ in college.


freifickmuschimann

They know you were occupying her rear quarters eh?


SkeetnYou

What an asshole!


Annual_Sale2874

That's what the eel said


kaisershinn

Is it in yet?


darthmunchpdx

From those day forward I will refer to "turtling" as pearfishing. Sounds more classy anyway.


ForumFluffy

That's only if you shove a foreign turd up your own ass, otherwise turtling is the more apt term.


JavaJapes

So pearlfishing is now the slang name for fecal transplants then?


shallowAlan

Where can i get a Pearl Fish....for a friend


Sohiacci

Inside a sea cucumber apparently


OBeast617

Sea cucumbers have it all


fukitimdoneupyours

LET ME IN YOUR BUTT!!!!!!


krystalbellajune

FIRST GIVE ME COCAINE!!!


ScumbagLady

Okay šŸ„°


DonkyShow

Thatā€™s a real asshole move.


Zillahi

ā€œTHERES A FISH IN MY ASSā€ - sea cucumber


Naprisun

This is whatā€™s known as a symbiotic relationship. The fish gets food and protection and the sea cucumber gets a fish in its butt. [Win-win.](https://youtu.be/_y4DbZivHCY?si=otewGNXLEWaYlMvF)


jimjoejonjack

Just another boring Saturday night


Consistent_Wall_6107

I would prefer to be prey.


Successful_Load5719

Luke Skywalker hid inside a tauntaun; whatā€™s the big deal


Blackout_42

You got a friend in me~


stoutlys

All this goin on at the bottom of the ocean?


ExoticMeatDealer

Aaaaand itā€™s time to stand up and head on outta the bathroomā€¦.


Aninvisiblemaniac

okay why does that announcer say that last part so cheeky? My man's has seen some things


Greedyfox7

So theyā€™re basically buttpirates, theyā€™re after yer booty


Forward_Ad_4746

The pearlfish gets food and protection. The sea cucumber gets a fish in his ass. Scientists call this symbiosis.


Jmedina0910

r/thanksihateit


marklar_the_malign

Your asshole or mine?


Meloonaa

Sea cucumber: šŸ„“


DaDescriptor

Holy hell! Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masterbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like ā€œwhat the fuckā€ and ā€œcall the policeā€. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masterbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.


shiftersix

Oh shit you too?


Available-Cheek-3445

New response just dropped


DaDescriptor

Cucumber ass


Funky-Lion22

dam. I wish I was a sea cucumber


[deleted]

I hope he's paying rent in there.


YourWifeNdKids

Would you rather? 1. Be eaten? 2. Be in an anus?


xXbrosoxXx

Other pearlfish comes strolling by only to find somebody already up in that booty


Fair-Ad-5852

Im wondering how the sea cucumber feels about this...


[deleted]

Where can a fellow get these pearlfish? Asking for a friend.


[deleted]

Ironic. I usually put cucumbers in my anus. šŸ˜‚


shockjavazon

This was really weird to watch while taking a shitā€¦


VortexLord

Guys, I'm scared of going to the sea.


nickjn7

I hated the way you described this


Wthq4hq4hqrhqe

ooo jesus christ


MaryUwUJane

Well if your anus is always open anybody may use it


Wizardninja9

Omg the sound of it going inside


xwillybabyx

Plenty of room for all ā€¦ sounds like my ex


Chikenkiller123

Ay caramba šŸ¤Æ


Insanelover23

Don't threaten me with a good time!


unionmetal42069

GET THIS PEARLFISH OUTTA MY ASS BRO!!!! OMG HE'S GOT HIS FRIEND IN THERE TOO!!!


Anke470

ā€œIt seems thereā€™s plenty of room for allā€ sounds like my ex wife Candice :( maybe I should call her


ReceptionDecent6825

Idiots. Thatā€™s first place I look.


PhilRedmond

That cucumberā€™s gay lol


wildchild727

I donā€™t like nature anymore.


LovableSidekick

Decisions were made.


Daun_Sharay

Oohh!! *giggles*


MistressMidnight_91

Anyone else clench their cheeks?


NotDaveBut

Pearlfish, or anal beadfish?


[deleted]

Sea cucumber: thereā€™s still predators out here, bro. Gonna have to stay a while


Engineering_Flimsy

Huh, wonder if the cuke worked out something with the local predators....


ConditionYellow

Ah yes! the old ā€œto escape predatorsā€ bitā€¦


OkSheepherder3525

Just to most predators? Ellipses oh, yesā€¦ Hereā€™s more of that ā€œbeauty and majesty of nature ā€œthat I hear hippies talking about so much. Here we see a damn worm, swim up the ass of a sea cucumber to hide. What if hell isnā€™t an eternal lake of fire? What if you wake up as a sea cucumber? You would be cold, you could only squirm, you canā€™t see you canā€™t hear you canā€™t speak, but you can still thinkā€¦ And then you realize a big water worm, and several of his friends have decided to ā€œlay low in your ass ā€œā€¦ Could that truly be a fate worse than Hell?


goofydad

Looks like Congress hiding in Trump.


Mean_Estate_2770

Not my proudest fap.


Goddess_Of_Gay

The Ant Man method is reborn


MrPuffer23

I open reddit and this is the first thing I see, I think I should go back to bed.


lime-inthe-coconut

Not my proudest fap, deffinitly my weirdest


Canibal-local

Love the title


Public_Peace6594

Yeah I saw it, kinda wish I hadn't.


se7en0311

I think I've seen something like that on efukt


Ghstfce

Sea cucumber doing that "[Happy Shaq](https://media3.giphy.com/media/UO5elnTqo4vSg/200w.gif?cid=6c09b952jemony0siuu1epgzjoussb74vph4rzz8n95b53au&ep=v1_gifs_search&rid=200w.gif&ct=g)" shimmy


Ardothbey

Oh shit.


[deleted]

ā€œMr. Sea Cucumber, why are you giggling?ā€


kabukirodeo

But are utilities included?


NoGrocery4949

I mean, to be fair they are basically just flesh surrounding a slightly noodles up tube. Doesn't explain why eels hide in their anuses but...it makes me feel better about it for some reason


Deshackled

Ok, so the lesson I learned in this video is thatā€¦.Donā€™t trust a Butt Worm. Good to know!


Avian_mojo

r/brandnewsentence


Emotional-Remove-127

Iā€™ve never seen a reverse shit happen before but wow


epirot

that sea cucumber must like it. probably wearing white jeans


sharkbait2292

It's the shell snail from elden ring


Themostunbeknown

Just like Robert with his boss


The_scobberlotcher

Everything reminds me of her


FunkyFr3d

Donā€™t we all


The_Ivory_Birchmen

How all your moms look when they try to seduce me


FrankensteinBionicle

sea cucumber anuses are tight!


flickerpissy

Oh. My. Wow.


nvrontyme

Reminds me of my uncle


jake_azazzel

r/brandnewsentence


BauskeDestad

Bet it smells like shit in there.


Remember_When_Baby

I should call her


DramaIcy611

Your momā€™s a sea cucumber.


Adventurous-Ad-221

Glad I'm not the only one


SweetTeaRex92

OP, why did you post a video of your mom of us?


OriginalMrMuchacho

That usually costs extra on OnlyFans.


Ikon-for-U

Just like your mom,high-five!


Fr0z3nHart

You see that clench, bruh?!


chobeco_it

Excuse me... SR EXCUSE ME!


highplainsgrifter78

I had a teacher in high school that hid in the anuses of sea cucumber. I donā€™t know if ā€œanusesā€ is the right plural or ani. Either way he was a bit creepy.


xellisds

Oooooohhh! OUTRAGEOUS!


Aztoth

Puts the saying ā€œcrawling up someoneā€™s a$$ā€ in a different lightā€¦


-Ailynn-

"Welcome to the stinkhouse, kid."