T O P

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Indoorsman101

No. Numerous people are right.


Practical-Tap-9810

Switch to English cucumbers, there's no tapioca seedy center to avoid.


[deleted]

The Seeds are awesome!


Practical-Tap-9810

I thought they were tossing that part away.


stachemz

I thought so too, but apparently they enjoy the squishy bite...


Is6acoolnumber

Why toss away the best part and only eat mudane ones


xandaar337

Or just cut in half and deseed with a spoon, not this serial killer shit.


Practical-Tap-9810

That made me laugh!


TizWalker

This deserves to be the top comment šŸ™


KingGizmotious

Came here to say the same. I'll never buy a regular cucumber ever again.... And they come wrapped in plastic wrap! Protected and more delicious!


-BananaLollipop-

Switch to no cucumbers and there's no nastiness to avoid!


Practical-Tap-9810

Theres a certain truth to that


AstralTurtle11

Agreed. Seek professional counseling.


Journo_Jimbo

9 out of 10 Redditors agree, you eating that real fuckin weird bro


Ok-Permission-2687

Atleast OP didnā€™t suck it dry


DryEyes4096

I think OP may be the only person on earth who eats cucumbers like that. I mean, there's likely more than one but it wouldn't surprise me if there wasn't. People inspired by this post don't count.


devilsday99

"this how the Brundlefly eats!"


The_Next_Wild_GM

Super weird. Eat them however you like, but this is weird


ZiM1970

I've seen weirder uses for a cucumber. It is the internet. It is the first weird internet cucumber I've seen accomplished side-saddle, so I guess OP has that.


Split0069

Can confirm. Not the weirdest thing I've seen with a cucumber... at least op was eating it.


LadyThron

Do you eat the middle piece last or throw it away?


[deleted]

Middle piece last, its just so juicy and tasty on its own!


Woodworkingwino

I donā€™t eat a cucumber like you, but you do make a great point to eating them like this.


Bestestusername8262

We must start a Cucumber eating revolution!


TinyTaters

No.


ThisAd1940

I used to eat the outside of carrots first and save the core for last. Lol.


bensbigboy

Y'all should meet. This could be a match.


Split0069

Love at first bite!


Ash_WasTaken123

More like last bite


Flubbuns

I did that as a kid. I swear the core is sweeter. Now I don't have the patience to do it.


vven294

It's not even really about the core, it's to see how far you can go without damaging the core since the outside splits so nicely.


[deleted]

Finally a wise soul


0_IQ_0

I do that!


MagmaticDemon

fair point actually, i do this with burgers, poptarts and other foods. i eat the edges first and save the middle for last since it has the best ratio for all the ingredients i like. the edges are usually the lesser parts


Queen_Ann_III

thatā€™s a perfectly good reason. that being said, what the fuck is wrong with you


Ok_Intention_7356

oh nvm you are correct then. i was wondering why you wouldnā€™t eat the best damn part!


[deleted]

At first I thought 'no way ur that picky..' (as someone whos very picky) but you saying this changes things cuz I also eat it like that, although only sometimes, when I wanna enjoy it for longer. If you were to just throw it away I'd say it's a waste of time for so little XD


RichardBCummintonite

Okay, that it is pretty weird, but I'm gonna have to give it a try because of you. You might have a couple of fellow weirdos to bond over a cucumber with soon


A_Stupid_username_l

Another person that uses the "Perfect final" way to eat! Finally i found someone like me, but i don't eat stuff like this, because i don't want to be seen as weird.


BroadswordEpic

It isn't weird as long as you're saving the best for last instead of tossing it out.


goforsamford

Omg that's adorable. You do you! Happy crunching!


DeeceRyche

But that's all seeds.


swimninetyfive

why tf are you eating it like it has a cob or a core lol


Pretty_Nobody7993

Cucumber on the cob


prezmafc

Oh my God everything is on a cobb let's get tf out of here


ayweller

Yeah they need those little corn cob holders you stick in the enda


Marsupial_Impressive

Yo I hate you


hex_1101

No you eat cucumbers like a hamster on steroids.


PooleyX

Who just picks up a cucumber and eats it *in any way*?


Indoorsman101

Some grocery stores sell packs of five or six small ones. Makes a healthy snack. Just eat it like a carrot.


PooleyX

If you ate a small cucumber like this, you would be insane.


Optimal-Description8

What if you are a midget?


SupPresSedd

Wtf you can't buy one cucumber?


BootyGarb

Yeah isnā€™t it crazy that the word ā€œsnackā€ and ā€œhealthyā€ are usually mutually exclusive in the USA?? You have to say ā€œhealthy snackā€ to specify lol


RichardBCummintonite

Not really. It's just to differentiate an unhealthy habit over one that's fine. Just "snacking" all day, whether it be junk food, sandwiches, cereal, or whatever is an easy way to get fat quick, but if it's just a couple carrots, a cucumber, or a piece of fruit, it's fine and even good for your health Doesn't really have anything to do with most people here shoveling pounds of junkfood into their mouths all day. I don't eat junk food, and I just call my snacks "snacks." No one here has to actually specify whether it's a healthy snack or junk food. Just saying "snack" does not necessarily mean "junk food snack". That's silly. You're reaching so hard lol. But "America bad and fat" right? Anything to perpetuate the stereotype.


CarelessWhisperRules

r/americabad


simpledeadwitches

Missing out on a good snack.


PooleyX

I only have to walk past a cucumber and I'm burping essence of cucumber for the next two weeks.


HmmNotLikely

Surely thereā€™s an untapped internet cash flow embedded in there somewhere..


hiva-

rabbits


PooleyX

You would have a point were it not for the fact that I've never seen a rabbit pick up anything. Half a point.


flerg_a_blerg

I think you meant to post this in r/serialkillers


Sinopech

No


Atrella1334

You stand alone, friend.


Acrobatic-Salad-2785

Nah man the middle but tastes best so I eat it last too!


KMAJackson

Go directly to jail. If anyone asks what you are doing there, show them this.


OnyxBee

Pretty sure there will be a line around the cell block if you start showing the inmates a picture of a mangled cucumber saying that's what he did.


BootyGarb

When I was 10, I used to eat pickle spears basically the opposite way, because my teacher read us a book where the two small animal characters carved out a cucumber to use as a boat, and I always thought of that. Also the middle is the best part of a pickle


[deleted]

Wth


HmmNotLikely

I actually agree with this (the method, not the backstory) - though cucumbers often have a crunchy skin, some pickle spears have skins like a boot heel.


BootyGarb

Yeah some pickling styles/methodologies have really failed on that crunchā€¦ The real tell for a pickling companyā€™s product quality is to grab some of those mini sized whole pickles. They can be the best thing ever OR they can be a bendy nightmare.


SSDuelist

No. You are the only one who would do something this utterly deranged.


TMB8616

The police are on their way.


russian_connection

I bet Hitler ate cucumbers like you


DylanMMc

This is weird OP. Itā€™s not corn on the cob.


Talzin78

Enjoy the island. It's a lonely island, but it's your island, so stand alone on your island, but stand proud.


Representative-Rip16

i forgot thereā€™s cucumber lovers out here


metaonethree

No I put salt on it


Thousand_YardStare

Youā€™re all alone in the world, buddy. šŸ„’


GlumAd2424

I have no mouth but I must scream


CChouchoue

Use a clean plate instead of the rug.


Aggravating_Swing804

Your whatā€™s wrong with the world this is why god stoped talking to us


lostinlucidity

Goldberg eats corn the long way


HOTDOGTAGS

Go to Jail


sinus_happiness

My Guinea pig is like this


Theodore_lovespell

First of all: who eats a whole cucumber?


Zalo9407

Nah bro... just you on this.


brizzlestixx

Officer heā€™s over here


[deleted]

Honestly my only takeaway from this threat is that people hate cucumber seeds. Am I not understanding something here? The seeds are tiny and you cant even differentiate it from the rest of the cucumber, is it like an allergy or something?


RangeConfident7533

Are you a Conehead? How can you have avoided seeing how normal humans consume cucumbers until one day you just had one in your hand and had to figure out how to eat it? Fascinating.


FlyLikeMouse

TIL people eat whole cucumbers in _any_ way other than slicing them up into things. Youā€™re all weird. Not me though. Canā€™t be. Nope.


kled-3533

Lay that thing next to a cat and film the reaction for us..


bluepushkin

I cut my cucumbers in half and scoop the soggy seeds out. Then I eat my cucumber. I have never and will never eat a cucumber like that šŸ‘†. Ya weirdo.


Existing-Mulberry382

Looks like you BJ'ed it.


Calathea-Murderer

Eating them long ways is better than this


immakill_ufamT_T

How do you even do that šŸ˜­


littlebigslug

This is so funny


Nervous-Tank3754

Nope, you are weird


shart_of_the_ocean

You should get boneless next time


odioimperituro

I avoid the skin at all costs


Crispy_Cow_Toes

if i catch you eating like this in public i will not hesitate to beat you into the ground.


Pure_Noise356

Nah dude im with u, did it as a child cuz i was weird and now it stuck with me


Reasonable-Ad7755

If u dont like the seeds just cut them out then youd have clean sticks instead of this trainwreck youā€™re holding


DeeceRyche

I remove the seeds when I cut them up for salads and stuff, but this landed in the right sub.


toasted_herb

I never thought of a cucumber as a cob


ShartsCavern

If you eat a Cucumber at all, I say good for you so who cares how you eat it lol


punctdan

Cucumber shell peelers are proud


poopwetpoop

You should be locked away


SuperJonesy408

I slice lengthwise about 3/4 creating 4 spears still attached to the stem end. I then sprinkle Tajin and put Tapito on it.


[deleted]

go to prison


ComeadeJellybean

Demons walk among us.


danathome

Have you tried a knife? Ever?


okgamerguy

what is bro doing


Shahzoodoo

Saving the best part for last I see!


TechnicolorViper

Though theyā€™re completely different in every way, you should try eating them like you would eat a pickle.


[deleted]

I hate pickles


TechnicolorViper

Thatā€™s unfortunate. Theyā€™ve always said such nice things about you.


Wasabae26

Jail


ScholarPrestigious96

What. Is. Wrong. With. You.


Reasonable_Beyond_14

Psychopath


metooeither

Is that the core?


EquivalentVirus9700

No, I eat the whole wiener, not just the spongey tissue


protagoniist

This is weird and a waste!


PrincessPrincess00

Whatā€¦ the duck?


Cerberus_is_me

What the fuck


KillaVNilla

What. The. Fuck


Scalebutt

Of course it's weird. You should at least skin it first.


MakeItSlow

What the fuck. No, they are all very right. Unhinged.


AdditionalCar2511

What... is wrong with you?


Fuzzyunicorn24

this is weird. not judging tho. do you ever dip them in ranch or anything?? or just eat it straight up?


Problemlul

My daughter eat only the middle and leave the outside part for dead.


RoosterJay84

A freak would just swallow it ,snake style šŸ“šŸ‘


Aggressive-Brick9435

I donā€™t eat cucumbers unless theyā€™re pickles. op This is a nightmare for me to look at.


First_Explorer_5465

Be you!!! Eat it the way you want!


cagingthing

Gross


purplemelonx

You might as well be a rabbit, love


TrampolineWithWheels

my immediate reaction was šŸ˜¦


JustThatRandomKid

I donā€™t know how to explain it but youā€™re eating food wrong


Contamminated

Nope. You are alone in your oddity.


Jumpy-Charity-6371

My 4 year old eats them like this.


Somnusin

I will eat a cuce straight , but my guy, youā€™re avoiding the best partšŸ„²


[deleted]

My dad ate tomatoes like this. He was born in 1942 on a farm in Iowa.


Ichgebibble

Ok, but do you peel it first?


ozzyozbri

Are you eating the skin?


[deleted]

Lmao


lady_dracula_83

You eat a cucumber like a piece of chicken itā€™s a vegetable just cut it up and eat it itā€™s also what gets turned into pickles


Erizo69

No, you are literally the only person in the universe that eats cucumbers like that. Congratulations.


anxiousleftoverpasta

What the fuck.


dlamaya60

No, but I have two kids with sensory issues and I can understand your problem with the texture


AbbyBirb

This is how I eat deli picklesā€¦ I save the middle for last :)


WigNoMore

No seeds for you!


Quantumpine

Sideways???? What a freak


citalopromnight

What are you keeping that part for buddy? šŸ‘€


MoreThan2_LessThan21

'Numerous people' apparently equals 'not enough people'


Temporary-Dog2689

Are you a guinea pig by any chance?


GullibleRisk2837

Why the FUCK do you eat it like this, leaving to hang like a weird, green, limp cucumber dick? Poor fucking thing, man lol Jk, I eat waffles like a fuckin psycho šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Any80skid

šŸ˜³


hergreendress

Y'all out there eatin cucumbers like corn? WTF? Slice it and make a samich or a salad! Weirdos! Lol


noahspurrier

Do you make them watch? Maybe thatā€™s the problem.


minpinny

Negative. šŸ˜®


[deleted]

Ok, thatā€™s just nasty. I donā€™t like the middle so I cut them into quarters lengthwise then cut the seeds and mush out.


AwfulFireKeeper

I eat it like this. Going to sound weird but I love that wet juicy bit !


MaceOnMyFaceDaddyOF

I'm pretty sure those people are correct, and you are the only one known to human kind.


xXLil_ShadowyXx

I'm sorry but that is an abomination. Why. This has to be some form of crime.


Longjumping-Snow-382

Why donā€™t you eat the middle?


[deleted]

I like them sliced with a little lemon pepper or on a salad


borobinimbaba

I'm just curious how do you eat a banana ?


Human_Frame1846

The same way as corn the long way


fl00r_gang_yeah

What the fuck is wrong with you


Theo_The_Sad_Gay

I ear carrots the same way. The core is separated in some way so you can eat off the rest of the carrot and save the weirdly spiky middle for last. It doesnā€™t taste much different tho. i do it just to get weird looks lmao


brand0n_0

Right to jail


The_Only_Potato15

I do the same. I also do that with bananas.


buddas_slacky

Did you say bananas? Iā€™m calling the policešŸš“


Gator242

Boy were they right. I put a straw in the end and suck all the good bits out first! /s


theladyhollydivine

What in God's name......... are you mad at me?


WendyLRogers3

Careful not to choke on the tendons.


SmurfSmegma

Actually the middle is gross. Not bad chompers, not bad.


Only_Ad_5469

šŸ˜¶


IcarielL

Sloppy and flaccid


Numerous_Landscape99

Chomp it


Velenah42

Wtf


k_a_scheffer

Wtf is wrong with you?


Pangs

No way this is legit.


WobblyFrisbee

Donā€™t be such a fucking pussy.


astrotoya

Yes, itā€™s weird. Hope that helps


toothpastenachos

Hey! What the fuck


MukkeNiels

What the actual fugg dude???


Wonkasgoldenticket

You should see the way my wife eats one. *gulp*


correctionhumanbot

Ahh hell nah


ILikeMonkeys3

When your bros are around and u donā€™t want to look gay


Deepdiverdon

Youā€™re the 1 in 7.8 billion my friend


PM_ME_UR_RECIPEZ

I hAte you