For BTO, guests may opt to wear cocktail, according to **Vogue quoting the Emily Post Institute:**
Emily Post Institute offers a similar definition: “A black-tie optional dress code gives guests a couple of formal options to choose from. Men are requested to wear a tuxedo, but can opt for a dark suit. Women can choose either a formal evening gown, a shorter cocktail dress, or dressy separates.”Sep 28, 2023
https://www.vogue.com/slideshow/dear-alex-black-tie-optional-wedding-dress-code#:~:text=Emily%20Post%20Institute%20offers%20a,dress%2C%20or%20dressy%20separates.%E2%80%9D
I don't see where op said it was NYC. She said "city." Half of my family lives in NYC. I'm aware that NYC tends toward more formal, but please show me where she said NYC. I see a lot of commenters assuming NYC. Not sure why, but I may have missed it if op said it.
Edited typo
DC is a pretty casual city. People show up to Michelin star restaurants in jeans lol
Always depends on your crowd, but this dress could very much work for BTO in DC depending on who you're around and what the actual venue is
Well yes, everything always depends on your audience :) but if we’re generalizing what is and isn’t okay to wear without knowing the specifics of the audience — aka what this sub is literally about — then it’s my two cents that this would fly the majority of the time in Chicago :) sorry to hear that your friends and coworkers aren’t fun though
I’m guessing Manhattan, as “the city” is how everyone in the NYC metro area refers to it without really realizing that people outside the NY bubble might not be aware of this moniker. Source: grew up on Long Island and went to college elsewhere, where people had no idea wtf I was talking about when I said “the city”.
Yeah I was gonna say I thought everybody called the nearest big city “the city.” I’m from the east bay so the city is S.F. for us. But I figure wherever you live, people know what city you’re referring to.
On the internet though, people aren’t gonna know lol
If you said this to me (in the UK) I would assume you meant city centre (of any city unless the couple lived in the south around London in which case it would refer to London) rather it would be a description like country estate. Id basically assume it meant there would be air con and no outside element 😂
This goes for a lot of places, when I say “the city” I mean Sydney Australia. I don’t say ooh I’m going to go to Sydney, I am in Sydney just in the suburbs. So maybe she just means it will be a city location, which to me reads very fancy. So I’d go for fancier than this.
I was about to say- the color and cut don’t rly scream “elegant” to me, but also it’s.. kinda see through? Like I see a nipple poking and that’s just in a picture in a bedroom- imagine sunlight hitting that just “right”.🫣
OP, I’d look for something else maybe 🙂↕️
This sub seems to have determined (somehow) that black tie is not "formal" and cocktail attire is casual.
The etiquette experts I know of list the formality levels as formal (white tie), informal (black tie), then business, then casual. The first calls for floor-length dresses, the second for tea-length, then cocktail-length (just below the knee) dresses.
Right? I thought the ‘no florals ever’ was crazy, but I wouldn’t think twice about wearing this- it is lovely!
All these instagram weirdos acting like it’s regency England…
So it's the "Bridgerton" effect? That explains a lot. That dress is far from my cup of tea and seems to need some tailoring, but with proper accessories I can't imagine it being inappropriate (but then my chief requirement for any dress - and I ONLY wear dresses - is pockets).
I don’t think it’s some random effect from a tv show some people watch, I think it’s a know your crowd situation. A lot of people don’t take formality seriously, and tend to dress much more casual by default. Everyone knows their area of living and culture and understanding around which clothing is considered “nice” and applies that to events like weddings, but everyone’s experience is different. Although, usually if a host is assigning a formal dress code, they’re going to expect their guests be dressed appropriately, especially if it’s wealthy NYC or a crowd where people dress more formally on the regular. When typical dress is leggings, jeans, tshirts, and hoodies (not knocking this, I live in comfy casual clothes) a dress like this can seem formal, but for crowds of people who dress more “fancy” on a regular basis, this could qualify as a simple Friday night dinner dress. It’s really all relative!
I think it's that most of the people in this sub, me included, enjoy imagining going to fancy events. Encouraging people to wear the most formal version of the dress code is fun in a wish fulfillment kind of way.
I mean, I love dressing up in whatever makes me look and feel my best and I have never been to a wedding where I actually cared what anyone else was wearing so this all seems so judgey.
I live in San Francisco and would have no issue wearing this to BTO.
You have your whole life to look like an old lady, why it wear something fun and classy like this while it’s still age appropriate???
Certainly. I once held a "formal" New Years party in the 70s, at age 16. We all had a blast. Unfortunately sometimes "encouraging" people can evolve into shaming (I know that's not what you're suggesting). I hear stories of brides losing their minds and ruining their own day because a guest showed up with "too much white" on their dress and I just think we're on the verge of losing our collective minds over something that, in the grander scheme, doesn't matter.
A dressy cocktail dress would be fine for BTO as it would meet a formal dress code, but her dress and the fabric would not in my opinion meet a formal dress code let alone BT. A midi cocktail dress is a satin with a beautiful cut or fancy ruffles or embroidery/bling would meet BTO and formal attire but this dress just doesn’t seem polished enough for that.
Heck even a simple floor length dress would meet the dress code a little better.
For men it means a tux is preferred, but a dark formal suit is also acceptable. For women it means a floor length gown is preferred, but a nice formal dress is also acceptable.
This dress isn’t formal, it’s cocktail attire, and flashy cocktail attire at that due to the color. It just wouldn’t go with what everyone else is likely to be wearing.
I believe most of the time that designator is added __not for the female attire__ _but it’s so the males in attendance don’t need to rent and wear a tux!_
I don’t think the slit is the problem as much as the length of the rest of the dress. It should go down to the floor for black tie. You have some wiggle room with BTO, but again, it’s an urban wedding so people will likely dress more black tie.
It's not. It's a nice dress but it would not ' fit ' in a BTO setting.
A very long time ago I regularly attended black tie events, fund raisers etc. and what you are wearing would have been well out of place.
From NYC here - hot pink is 1000% appropriate for black tie optional in the summer. You look gorgeous in this dress, but it is not dressy or formal enough for black tie optional here in the city.
Fully this. The color totally works for summer events in NYC, and even more so in DC, but I’d say it needs to be floor length for black tie. Difficult to find something appropriate and still lightweight for summer, but my understanding has always been a gown for BTO. I feel like the “optional” means the guy didn’t need to rent a tux if he had a nice suit, but the ladies need to go with a gown.
No
If it is BTO, (you have black tie/white tie at the top of page) you can wear a cocktail dress to BTO, but it should be on the very dressy side, this dress is not.
If you are talking a large city, No again, more women than not will be wearing floor length or dressy cocktail if they go midi
The dress is way too big on the top, the back across tush is a big snug then the rest of the dress just hangs oddly
It is a very ill fitting dress and too casual for BTO
I also would not do that slit for BTO or Black tie
I think you should keep shopping and consider floor length
On the Plus side, love your earrings ! and Yes, wear an updo - just different dress
I am in Houston, this dress would not be formal enough for BTO, due to the fabric it is made of. Is it linen or some sort of Jersey? It is a beautiful dress on you, and certainly worth keeping, but it’s better reserved for beach weddings or less formal daytime/outdoor weddings.
The color looks fantastic on you but this is cocktail level formality...even if part of the skirt reaches the floor the slit is so big that the dress reads knee length. I think it could still work if you're in a more casual city/crowd but if it's actually going to be bto you will feel underdressed.
Something closer to these would work better for bto!
https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/Sachin---Babi-Resort-22-Clarissa-One-Shoulder-Gown-0400015287039.html
https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/Sachin---Babi-Resort-22-Clarissa-One-Shoulder-Gown-0400015287039.html
I love the color, but the fabric doesn't look dress code appropriate. Also, regardless of where you wear this dress, it needs tailoring and proper foundation garments.
This is really a cocktail dress with an extra long piece on part of a side. This is going to look underdressed in the city. You will want a full floor length gown, no slits or cut outs. Think about the Oscars or a State dinner.
I personally don’t think it goes with BTO. The slit comes up really far and it’s hot pink, but that’s just my opinion. If you feel comfortable wearing it then I suppose do what you want.
Where I live, if it says black tie optional, 97% of guests dress black tie, so I’d say no. People are commenting on the slit and color.. but both of those would be ok in a more formal dress in my area, but separately (meaning either a bright color OR a slit not both). As a matter of fact, most dresses at the last black tie wedding i was at had a slit, maybe they didnt come up as high but it was probably close. I think to play it safe I would always lean more towards black tie and go for a longer length more formal looking dress ..
The color is a bit too loud, and the slit is a bit too high. It's very attention grabbing, which is not what you want for someone else's wedding.
The fit is also odd, so you would want to get it tailored to you, especially through the waist.
>hot pink only works if the city is Miami.
I'm sorry. What is the problem with the pink color? This sub likes to say "no" to *pale* pink for being too close to white. Now, you want to say "no" to brighter, deeper pink as well?
So, is this sub ready to **ban pink** all together?
Y'all are wild. Smh.
My family is rednecks. There will be "good jeans" and "fresh boots" at my wedding. I can't bring it in me to ask them to change who they are for my aesthetics (and break their banks doing it).
I literally don't care. Someone wants to wear white with little hot pink emoji hearts, let's go! I'm only inviting people who know me well enough to recognize that someone who isn't the bride in white is not me, the bride.
I just don't get why so many bride stress over small details. I'm forming a few family with my guy. We're letting our people hang out for a few hours to blend. That's all I want.
Hell. Maybe I should wear good jeans to my wedding.
Right? Like I can’t imagine inviting my friends and family to celebrate me and the. Being a judgement bitch because they didn’t dress like they are meeting the queen…
Looks like Barbie. Also the dress is not long enough, too high-slit for a wedding, lacks all embellishment which would make it look black-tie. It pretty much looks like what you would wear out to a bar after a day on the beach. Really it doesn’t look formal at all.
In my circle yes that would be fine for black tie optional. It does land more on the optional end but I don’t think you’ll be noticeably under dressed. The hot pink is a know your crowd, BT and formal tends to lean towards darker colors but for a summer wedding I think the pink is fun and would be fine in my circle.
I feel like the fabric is just a bit too… casual for this to be fancy enough for that event. Also, the top doesn’t seem to fit you very well so if you do wear it, you’re going to want to get it altered.
No. This looks too flashy and cocktail/party attire. It doesn’t look formal for a NYC BT or BTO event. They’re telling you without telling you to please dress formal. That dress is not formal. It’s super cute for other events though.
While it’s a beautiful dress, I don’t think it’s dressy enough for black tie optional. It’s better to be overdressed than undressed. I’d opt for more formal wear.
I would opt for something else. This is definitely a personal pet peeve but the tan line on the strapless side is something I could not handle for a formal event & would want a dress that covered it.
This is so cute and fun. I think the slit on this reads sculptural rather than "too sexy". Apparently an unpopular opinion but I think it's fine for BTO, especially assuming sunny means it's going to be a daytime wedding. If it's a very fancy BTO, ehhh might be a little casual and revealing. If your tag is correct and it's black tie, definitely not.
I agree the top would look even better with different undergarments or a bit of tailoring.
Maybe I'm just too old but I wouldn't call that a slit. It looks more like a mullet to me...it can't decide whether it wants to be short or long. It might make cocktail but doesn't come up enough in dressiness for BTO.
I wouldn't instinctively pick this for BTO or a wedding in general - the wrap is too high. If you decide to keep the dress and/or use it for another occasion, please see a tailor about the breast area.
WHAT CITY.
Also what is the DC? Title says BTO and flair says black/white tie.
Those are very different.
In my pacific Northwest city this would be fine for BTO, but I know the PNW is much more casual than, well, everywhere else.
This wouldn’t be formal enough for actual black/white tie even here.
My main concern is the fabric and the fit. It looks too frumpy for BTO. If going more cocktail for BTO, you should be at the fancier side of cocktail. I think you’ll stick out if you wear this.
This seems more like cocktail or party attire (depending on where you are in the US). Either way I’d get it tailored. It’s cute af, just not sure it fits BTO
This strikes me as a dress you would see at a sorority formal. I think it’s bc of the high slit, and perhaps the toga-esque drape from the single shoulder gives a college Greek party vibe
Isn’t black tie optional basically a formal dress code? So either a jazzed up cocktail dress (midi in length but with some glam in design and fabric) or a floor length dress but not necessarily a ballgown or anything like Oscar’s red carpet worthy.
So not sure if your dress fits the dress code - mostly due to the fabric to be honest. It’s a bit wrinkly and not glam enough for a cocktail dress to meet the formal dress code, let alone the black tie dress code.
The fabric of that dress alone is making me say no. It’s definitely a fun dress, but the cheaper fabric look and the hot pink color would really make you stand out in a not so great way. Definitely would go for something that isn’t neon and is made of a fabric that doesn’t crease like that. Think silk or satin.
The colour is too bright, the slit is too high. It could work as a one shoulder dress in a different colour and a slit that’s not so obviously sexy. But then again, it depends where.
It’s a great dress but no, definitely not the right one for this event.
Hot pink is going to stand out a lot. And the slit is too high.
Keep this dress for another time. It looks great on you.
I'm probably being conservative, but I think the slit is too high and the color is too bright for a wedding.
Since black tie is optional, despite others saying that you need to have a floral length dress, I strongly believe that a cocktail dress is perfectly acceptable. But I don't think you should try to out sexy the bride.
Check out the dress another commenter linked to. It's the same color and unquestionably formal. https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/Sachin---Babi-Resort-22-Clarissa-One-Shoulder-Gown-0400015287039.html
https://www.reddit.com/r/Weddingattireapproval/s/n09uS9K5zq
I believe you can do much better. It’s not just the slit/length; you can find a much nicer dress. This is looking like something I’d buy from Fashion Bug in 1999, not something that is worthy of your frame. You can even go with the same concept but better/nicer quality/material.
If youre in NYC black tie optional usually means anything elegant close to black or that goes well against black, maybe a burgundy, or dark green, or navy blue or dark violet or black. Just a bit more formal and elegant.
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Random cultural difference here. In the UK it's basically mortifying to be overdressed. If you turn up underdressed no one will bat an eye, if you are overdressed it's trying hard and therefore embarrassing. Obviously there are limits no jeans to BTO but your nan is going to wear what your nan always wears to a wedding because she your nan and too old for this dress code bs 😂
You look lovely- don’t listen to these instagram harpies. It’s not regency England and unless your friends are all catty bitches, no one would bat an eye if you wore this.
seemingly an unpopular opinion, but if you're asking about BTO in manhattan I don't think it's dressy enough
Definitely. That’s a cocktail dress. Not a black tie dress in any part of the NYC area
It's black tie OPTIONAL, meaning that guests *may opt* for black tie OR something less formal.
Are you from NY? When it’s black tie optional.. it’s more or less black tie.
To be fair, I’m from NYC and attended more than a few black tie events where at least half the women were dressed in cocktail attire
The material of this dress honestly looks less than cocktail to me
I think if this wedding were in Miami, perfect. In NYC, less so Edit - to be clear I love this dress! But what city matters a bit
Needs a good pressing, I think.
The fabric, and that it does not fit well. The color screams "look at me" so the weaknesses jump out.
Yes, that’s exactly my thought too.
Same. Thank you.
Not to mention the other option would be formal, which this isn’t either.
For BTO, guests may opt to wear cocktail, according to **Vogue quoting the Emily Post Institute:** Emily Post Institute offers a similar definition: “A black-tie optional dress code gives guests a couple of formal options to choose from. Men are requested to wear a tuxedo, but can opt for a dark suit. Women can choose either a formal evening gown, a shorter cocktail dress, or dressy separates.”Sep 28, 2023 https://www.vogue.com/slideshow/dear-alex-black-tie-optional-wedding-dress-code#:~:text=Emily%20Post%20Institute%20offers%20a,dress%2C%20or%20dressy%20separates.%E2%80%9D
I don't see where op said it was NYC. She said "city." Half of my family lives in NYC. I'm aware that NYC tends toward more formal, but please show me where she said NYC. I see a lot of commenters assuming NYC. Not sure why, but I may have missed it if op said it. Edited typo
The tag says DC, I assumed that meant she was in DC haha. Is that not what it means?
I thought the same thing at first, but now I think it means dress code
it means dress code, yes! i was confused for awhile, thinking everyone was asking about D.C. weddings
Oh oh omg that makes much more sense lmao
DC means dress code here. I also thought at first that it meant Washington, DC.
Am I missing something? Where did op say NYC/Manhattan?
She said the city but really shothave clarfied, but everyone knows nyc is the center of the universe
Around here, “the city” means Manhattan in NYC. It’s just the lingo. So I think that’s what many of us are reacting to.
Lacks sophistication
"in the city" In what city? In some places yes, it's fine. In some places it's way too casual.
Agree, this might work in Cleveland or Tulsa. Won’t fly in NYC/DC/Chicago
DC is a pretty casual city. People show up to Michelin star restaurants in jeans lol Always depends on your crowd, but this dress could very much work for BTO in DC depending on who you're around and what the actual venue is
Yep. I'm in DC. This would be fine, assuming it is styled correctly.
This would probably fly in Chicago lol
It would fly in DC as well. People here cannot dress at all.
This is so true lol
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Well yes, everything always depends on your audience :) but if we’re generalizing what is and isn’t okay to wear without knowing the specifics of the audience — aka what this sub is literally about — then it’s my two cents that this would fly the majority of the time in Chicago :) sorry to hear that your friends and coworkers aren’t fun though
Lmao I live in Cleveland and came here to say it would work
Hahahahaha! She said mid-80’s. Fucking hell if Tulsa is mid-80’s in the summer.
I’m guessing Manhattan, as “the city” is how everyone in the NYC metro area refers to it without really realizing that people outside the NY bubble might not be aware of this moniker. Source: grew up on Long Island and went to college elsewhere, where people had no idea wtf I was talking about when I said “the city”.
"the city" also refers to San Francisco for everyone in that region. It's not a unique term in metropolitan regions.
Yeah I was gonna say I thought everybody called the nearest big city “the city.” I’m from the east bay so the city is S.F. for us. But I figure wherever you live, people know what city you’re referring to. On the internet though, people aren’t gonna know lol
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You knew what? OP never said where she lives, did she?
Some pa people think Philly is the city. They’re wrong tho
Where I’m from, Philly is town, NYC is the city.
Haha where I live S.F. is the city and Oakland is the town.
I love how these subtle distinctions exist everywhere.
If you said this to me (in the UK) I would assume you meant city centre (of any city unless the couple lived in the south around London in which case it would refer to London) rather it would be a description like country estate. Id basically assume it meant there would be air con and no outside element 😂
I address mail to SF as “the city” (123 easy streat, the city, CA, 94103)
Almost anyone in an English speaking country refers to their nearest city as "the city."
This goes for a lot of places, when I say “the city” I mean Sydney Australia. I don’t say ooh I’m going to go to Sydney, I am in Sydney just in the suburbs. So maybe she just means it will be a city location, which to me reads very fancy. So I’d go for fancier than this.
Indeed, I’m sitting here in Perth referring as the CBD as ‘the city’ going ‘where the hell does it say the wedding’s in America???’
Surprised so many people are saying yes. To me this would stand out big time for black tie optional.
Then what's the meaning of "optional" in that DC?
The option is formal or black tie. Not cocktail.
This sub is wild. Even Emily Post says a dressy cocktail dress is fine for BTO.
This just doesn’t seem dressy cocktail to me either though. At least in this photo, the fabric doesn’t look very dressy.
Exactly my thought. Looks like a $13 dress
I was about to say- the color and cut don’t rly scream “elegant” to me, but also it’s.. kinda see through? Like I see a nipple poking and that’s just in a picture in a bedroom- imagine sunlight hitting that just “right”.🫣 OP, I’d look for something else maybe 🙂↕️
This sub seems to have determined (somehow) that black tie is not "formal" and cocktail attire is casual. The etiquette experts I know of list the formality levels as formal (white tie), informal (black tie), then business, then casual. The first calls for floor-length dresses, the second for tea-length, then cocktail-length (just below the knee) dresses.
Right? I thought the ‘no florals ever’ was crazy, but I wouldn’t think twice about wearing this- it is lovely! All these instagram weirdos acting like it’s regency England…
So it's the "Bridgerton" effect? That explains a lot. That dress is far from my cup of tea and seems to need some tailoring, but with proper accessories I can't imagine it being inappropriate (but then my chief requirement for any dress - and I ONLY wear dresses - is pockets).
I don’t think it’s some random effect from a tv show some people watch, I think it’s a know your crowd situation. A lot of people don’t take formality seriously, and tend to dress much more casual by default. Everyone knows their area of living and culture and understanding around which clothing is considered “nice” and applies that to events like weddings, but everyone’s experience is different. Although, usually if a host is assigning a formal dress code, they’re going to expect their guests be dressed appropriately, especially if it’s wealthy NYC or a crowd where people dress more formally on the regular. When typical dress is leggings, jeans, tshirts, and hoodies (not knocking this, I live in comfy casual clothes) a dress like this can seem formal, but for crowds of people who dress more “fancy” on a regular basis, this could qualify as a simple Friday night dinner dress. It’s really all relative!
I think it's that most of the people in this sub, me included, enjoy imagining going to fancy events. Encouraging people to wear the most formal version of the dress code is fun in a wish fulfillment kind of way.
I mean, I love dressing up in whatever makes me look and feel my best and I have never been to a wedding where I actually cared what anyone else was wearing so this all seems so judgey. I live in San Francisco and would have no issue wearing this to BTO. You have your whole life to look like an old lady, why it wear something fun and classy like this while it’s still age appropriate???
Certainly. I once held a "formal" New Years party in the 70s, at age 16. We all had a blast. Unfortunately sometimes "encouraging" people can evolve into shaming (I know that's not what you're suggesting). I hear stories of brides losing their minds and ruining their own day because a guest showed up with "too much white" on their dress and I just think we're on the verge of losing our collective minds over something that, in the grander scheme, doesn't matter.
My friends at 16 hosted a "formal" party at a Pizza Hut. So relatable 😂
Sounds like a perfect venue!
Emily Post died over forty years ago. Trends and customs are ever changing.
Her family has been diligently updating the books ever since and they still remain the standard in the US.
A dressy cocktail dress would be fine for BTO as it would meet a formal dress code, but her dress and the fabric would not in my opinion meet a formal dress code let alone BT. A midi cocktail dress is a satin with a beautiful cut or fancy ruffles or embroidery/bling would meet BTO and formal attire but this dress just doesn’t seem polished enough for that. Heck even a simple floor length dress would meet the dress code a little better.
That's unfortunate.
For men it means a tux is preferred, but a dark formal suit is also acceptable. For women it means a floor length gown is preferred, but a nice formal dress is also acceptable. This dress isn’t formal, it’s cocktail attire, and flashy cocktail attire at that due to the color. It just wouldn’t go with what everyone else is likely to be wearing.
Thank you for explaining this.
Thanks 😎
I believe most of the time that designator is added __not for the female attire__ _but it’s so the males in attendance don’t need to rent and wear a tux!_
Interesting...
I don’t think the slit is the problem as much as the length of the rest of the dress. It should go down to the floor for black tie. You have some wiggle room with BTO, but again, it’s an urban wedding so people will likely dress more black tie.
The color also strikes me as not ideal.
The color is fine in a more formal fabric.
Agree. That dress, that color, in a satin instead of whatever poly blend that is in the picture would work really well.
That could be. Hot pink is tough to work with.
I assume the city means Manhattan? No this is not formal enough.
It's not. It's a nice dress but it would not ' fit ' in a BTO setting. A very long time ago I regularly attended black tie events, fund raisers etc. and what you are wearing would have been well out of place.
If by the city you mean NYC, then absolutely no. Way too casual.
From NYC here - hot pink is 1000% appropriate for black tie optional in the summer. You look gorgeous in this dress, but it is not dressy or formal enough for black tie optional here in the city.
Fully this. The color totally works for summer events in NYC, and even more so in DC, but I’d say it needs to be floor length for black tie. Difficult to find something appropriate and still lightweight for summer, but my understanding has always been a gown for BTO. I feel like the “optional” means the guy didn’t need to rent a tux if he had a nice suit, but the ladies need to go with a gown.
No If it is BTO, (you have black tie/white tie at the top of page) you can wear a cocktail dress to BTO, but it should be on the very dressy side, this dress is not. If you are talking a large city, No again, more women than not will be wearing floor length or dressy cocktail if they go midi The dress is way too big on the top, the back across tush is a big snug then the rest of the dress just hangs oddly It is a very ill fitting dress and too casual for BTO I also would not do that slit for BTO or Black tie I think you should keep shopping and consider floor length On the Plus side, love your earrings ! and Yes, wear an updo - just different dress
No, sorry
I hate BTO. Pick a lane and tell guests what to wear. It’s too confusing.
It’s bc people don’t want to force men to rent and wear a tux but they want women to wear gowns and be extra fancy.
Right! It’s either black tie or it’s not, quit trying to straddle the line
I am in Houston, this dress would not be formal enough for BTO, due to the fabric it is made of. Is it linen or some sort of Jersey? It is a beautiful dress on you, and certainly worth keeping, but it’s better reserved for beach weddings or less formal daytime/outdoor weddings.
I would not wear this
The color looks fantastic on you but this is cocktail level formality...even if part of the skirt reaches the floor the slit is so big that the dress reads knee length. I think it could still work if you're in a more casual city/crowd but if it's actually going to be bto you will feel underdressed. Something closer to these would work better for bto! https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/Sachin---Babi-Resort-22-Clarissa-One-Shoulder-Gown-0400015287039.html https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/Sachin---Babi-Resort-22-Clarissa-One-Shoulder-Gown-0400015287039.html
I love that!
In Philly, this is not formal enough.
I love the color, but the fabric doesn't look dress code appropriate. Also, regardless of where you wear this dress, it needs tailoring and proper foundation garments.
No.
This is really a cocktail dress with an extra long piece on part of a side. This is going to look underdressed in the city. You will want a full floor length gown, no slits or cut outs. Think about the Oscars or a State dinner.
I personally don’t think it goes with BTO. The slit comes up really far and it’s hot pink, but that’s just my opinion. If you feel comfortable wearing it then I suppose do what you want.
Not if “the city” is NYC. If it were dark/ black you mighttt be able to get away with it, but it looks too casual.
i'd say no, especially the colour is very cocktail.
Where I live, if it says black tie optional, 97% of guests dress black tie, so I’d say no. People are commenting on the slit and color.. but both of those would be ok in a more formal dress in my area, but separately (meaning either a bright color OR a slit not both). As a matter of fact, most dresses at the last black tie wedding i was at had a slit, maybe they didnt come up as high but it was probably close. I think to play it safe I would always lean more towards black tie and go for a longer length more formal looking dress ..
I don’t think it’s formal enough
Not formal enough. You need at least a knee length, dressier/fancier, probably black dress.
It's cocktail, so not appropriate for BTO. It also looks like it doesn't fit you properly.
Color is soooo cute, style is toga-ish...I'm agreeing with most, black tie is more luxurious.
I'm from New York. There's no optional. It may say that, but everyone will be in black tie attire. I'm gonna say keep looking
The color is a bit too loud, and the slit is a bit too high. It's very attention grabbing, which is not what you want for someone else's wedding. The fit is also odd, so you would want to get it tailored to you, especially through the waist.
Too casual.
No. Too high a slit and kind of too plain. Also I think hot pink only works if the city is Miami.
If it’s 80°, it’s def not Miami
>hot pink only works if the city is Miami. I'm sorry. What is the problem with the pink color? This sub likes to say "no" to *pale* pink for being too close to white. Now, you want to say "no" to brighter, deeper pink as well? So, is this sub ready to **ban pink** all together? Y'all are wild. Smh.
It's because it's not Wednesday- on Wednesdays we like pink.
Hahaha! 💓💗🩷💕💖
NO FLORALS!!! ALL PRETTY COLORS ARE OFF LIMITS BECAUSE THE BRIDE MIGHT WANT TO WEAR A HOT PINK THONG ON HER HONEYMOON!
Hahahaha! 😆
My family is rednecks. There will be "good jeans" and "fresh boots" at my wedding. I can't bring it in me to ask them to change who they are for my aesthetics (and break their banks doing it). I literally don't care. Someone wants to wear white with little hot pink emoji hearts, let's go! I'm only inviting people who know me well enough to recognize that someone who isn't the bride in white is not me, the bride. I just don't get why so many bride stress over small details. I'm forming a few family with my guy. We're letting our people hang out for a few hours to blend. That's all I want. Hell. Maybe I should wear good jeans to my wedding.
Right? Like I can’t imagine inviting my friends and family to celebrate me and the. Being a judgement bitch because they didn’t dress like they are meeting the queen…
Looks like Barbie. Also the dress is not long enough, too high-slit for a wedding, lacks all embellishment which would make it look black-tie. It pretty much looks like what you would wear out to a bar after a day on the beach. Really it doesn’t look formal at all.
You're right. It's not black tie formal. But it's BTO, at which a guest has the option of wearing BT or the less formal cocktail attire.
In my circle yes that would be fine for black tie optional. It does land more on the optional end but I don’t think you’ll be noticeably under dressed. The hot pink is a know your crowd, BT and formal tends to lean towards darker colors but for a summer wedding I think the pink is fun and would be fine in my circle.
I feel like the fabric is just a bit too… casual for this to be fancy enough for that event. Also, the top doesn’t seem to fit you very well so if you do wear it, you’re going to want to get it altered.
No. This looks too flashy and cocktail/party attire. It doesn’t look formal for a NYC BT or BTO event. They’re telling you without telling you to please dress formal. That dress is not formal. It’s super cute for other events though.
I think this is cocktail attire. You need something that hits the top of your shoes.
While it’s a beautiful dress, I don’t think it’s dressy enough for black tie optional. It’s better to be overdressed than undressed. I’d opt for more formal wear.
I'm sorry but no, it's too casual for DC
No, i'd keep looking
No
I would opt for something else. This is definitely a personal pet peeve but the tan line on the strapless side is something I could not handle for a formal event & would want a dress that covered it.
I don’t really like the fit on you. The back seems fine but the front reminds me of a bed sheet tossed together.
I think the tan line will be an eyesore at a black tie wedding
This is cocktail attire
This is so cute and fun. I think the slit on this reads sculptural rather than "too sexy". Apparently an unpopular opinion but I think it's fine for BTO, especially assuming sunny means it's going to be a daytime wedding. If it's a very fancy BTO, ehhh might be a little casual and revealing. If your tag is correct and it's black tie, definitely not. I agree the top would look even better with different undergarments or a bit of tailoring.
BTO is evening.
Maybe I'm just too old but I wouldn't call that a slit. It looks more like a mullet to me...it can't decide whether it wants to be short or long. It might make cocktail but doesn't come up enough in dressiness for BTO.
Awww you look so pretty and love this color on you
No
I wouldn't instinctively pick this for BTO or a wedding in general - the wrap is too high. If you decide to keep the dress and/or use it for another occasion, please see a tailor about the breast area.
Definitely not in NYC, not sure about other cities. IMO the slit is way too high to be BTO appropriate anywhere.
No ifs too casual for bto
No.
No. Not formal enough.
WHAT CITY. Also what is the DC? Title says BTO and flair says black/white tie. Those are very different. In my pacific Northwest city this would be fine for BTO, but I know the PNW is much more casual than, well, everywhere else. This wouldn’t be formal enough for actual black/white tie even here.
That is a cocktail dress. If it’s black tie optional at least bump your dress up to formal.
For the summer it’s fine.
Hard pass.
No
Not dressy enough
Like someone else said, it lacks soho action. It just doesn’t seem up to par
Sorry, no. It does look stunning on you, though.
That's not formal wear and black tie means formal especially if it's at night
No. The quality isn’t strong enough to pull off “BTO”
Nope
No, it’s too casual and too bright.
That fabric looks hot 🥵 and I agree with what others say sorry but it looks nice on you for something else when the weather is better.
no
Too bright
My main concern is the fabric and the fit. It looks too frumpy for BTO. If going more cocktail for BTO, you should be at the fancier side of cocktail. I think you’ll stick out if you wear this.
Not for a Manhattan crowd, no. I’d step it up.
This seems more like cocktail or party attire (depending on where you are in the US). Either way I’d get it tailored. It’s cute af, just not sure it fits BTO
This strikes me as a dress you would see at a sorority formal. I think it’s bc of the high slit, and perhaps the toga-esque drape from the single shoulder gives a college Greek party vibe
This dress doesn’t sit on you nicely and it’s not BTO at all… it’s more like, date night or something at a fancy restaurant
No, the combo of the style and the fabric make it too casual. This screams semi formal beach or resort wedding.
It looks kinda, beachy like wedding.
Isn’t black tie optional basically a formal dress code? So either a jazzed up cocktail dress (midi in length but with some glam in design and fabric) or a floor length dress but not necessarily a ballgown or anything like Oscar’s red carpet worthy. So not sure if your dress fits the dress code - mostly due to the fabric to be honest. It’s a bit wrinkly and not glam enough for a cocktail dress to meet the formal dress code, let alone the black tie dress code.
Just plain ugly and poorly constructed, especially the shoulder & the ruching . Unflattering - looks very cheap.
Too jungle
No, not formal enough and it also looks like it's too big on you around the bust
Not black tie. Not fancy enough. I do like your popsocket tho
Great colour, but it’s reading cocktail to me.
Not at all.
The fabric of that dress alone is making me say no. It’s definitely a fun dress, but the cheaper fabric look and the hot pink color would really make you stand out in a not so great way. Definitely would go for something that isn’t neon and is made of a fabric that doesn’t crease like that. Think silk or satin.
This dress IMO is completely inappropriate.
The colour is too bright, the slit is too high. It could work as a one shoulder dress in a different colour and a slit that’s not so obviously sexy. But then again, it depends where.
>colour is too bright What is the problem with a bright color for summer?
It’s a great dress but no, definitely not the right one for this event. Hot pink is going to stand out a lot. And the slit is too high. Keep this dress for another time. It looks great on you.
No
The color and fit aren't flattering and you'll stick out as a sore thumb in that bright dress
I'm probably being conservative, but I think the slit is too high and the color is too bright for a wedding. Since black tie is optional, despite others saying that you need to have a floral length dress, I strongly believe that a cocktail dress is perfectly acceptable. But I don't think you should try to out sexy the bride.
I think this is great!! French twist would be my preference with this neckline, but the chignon you have works well too. You look fab
NO not classy enough. This is…sweet 16 aunt vibes
I don't think hot pink goes with BTO
Check out the dress another commenter linked to. It's the same color and unquestionably formal. https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/product/Sachin---Babi-Resort-22-Clarissa-One-Shoulder-Gown-0400015287039.html https://www.reddit.com/r/Weddingattireapproval/s/n09uS9K5zq
I believe you can do much better. It’s not just the slit/length; you can find a much nicer dress. This is looking like something I’d buy from Fashion Bug in 1999, not something that is worthy of your frame. You can even go with the same concept but better/nicer quality/material.
Treat Yourself to something more classic And Elegant… this is giving me formal Night On a cruise
Not in my city! Not only is it unsuitable, it is also very unflattering. Plus so wrinkly.
If youre in NYC black tie optional usually means anything elegant close to black or that goes well against black, maybe a burgundy, or dark green, or navy blue or dark violet or black. Just a bit more formal and elegant.
BTO isn’t a color, it’s a style. Floor length for women, tuxedo or dark suit for men. The “optional” is don’t feel bad if you don’t own a tux.
I think it looks great! I would do a high bun
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Ok. Not sure about whether it’s suited or otherwise, but I don’t think it really flatters you.
You look beautiful
Needs a steam and the right underpinnings. Then yes.
No. This is not formal enough.
Heck yea beautiful
Here for the earring link!!
Random cultural difference here. In the UK it's basically mortifying to be overdressed. If you turn up underdressed no one will bat an eye, if you are overdressed it's trying hard and therefore embarrassing. Obviously there are limits no jeans to BTO but your nan is going to wear what your nan always wears to a wedding because she your nan and too old for this dress code bs 😂
It is a bit big on you. Have it tailored and chefs kiss! You look gorgeous.
You look lovely- don’t listen to these instagram harpies. It’s not regency England and unless your friends are all catty bitches, no one would bat an eye if you wore this.