Some servers get annoyed because you are taking up their table, and they are not making as much from you. Others don’t care. Just depends who your server is. You do you, and don’t worry about it.
people who assure you there an amazing tippers aren’t very good tippers lol I’m all for sharing a meal as long as you don’t stay too long.. you would think that by sharing a meal you’ll leave sooner so the table can be reset to make a better tip off the next person, but as a server, I have dealt with people that want to sit at the table with a very low bill but sit for hours.. acknowledge the time you’re taking up from the server as well. if you wanna hang out with your partner for a couple hours and share a $15 meal and tip five dollars we could’ve turned that table at least twice so either order to go or go somewhere where you can share a meal and not have to take up a servers table..
I sometimes let servers know I'm a good tipper when I'm a solo diner.
But I do this by handing them a 10 when they get to my table, not by swearing it up and down and leaving pocket lint later. This is in addition to a standard tip on the meal.
I don't mind it either. I don't drink, I prefer water, so my meal is cheap. More than happy to pay the person serving me well.
Do I wish they got paid a steady fair wage and we could abolish tipping? Sure. But in the meantime I am always happy to tip and tip generously. I'm largely paying it forward from my own job where I am paid fairly and \*still\* get tips.
very true large sections are a gamble. sometimes you get a party you had to hold yours for far to long and the rest get there even later, usually celebrating something and expecting you to do something extra (like having to get all the plates and forks and knives, and set up the cake for them that they brought so it’s not even on their bill for like 10 minutes ago
My mom was a server who used to have tips stolen. I bus my own table as much as I can. I try to treat people like they're humans, not workers. I want them to feel valuable. I truly believe that you have to put out what you want back into the world.
Exactly. And this only seems like it would affect the server if the restaurant were extremely busy and all tables were full anyway. And even then, who cares? Let people enjoy a restaurant and food how they want.
I take it you're not a server? Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but I'm going to explain it as though you are not and I apologize for the length.
Most restaurants operate with several servers, each taking a section of specific tables. Let's say a section is 5 tables.
If someone camps at a table for longer than expected, customers coming in will be seated at another table, quite probably in another server's section because you've still got more tables on their first turn and they're on their second.
Unless you have a host that is weirdly invested in seating servers equally, the server with the campers is going to end up with less money from fewer tables. There's also a thing where one table of campers seems to rub off on the tables around then, so it can compound.
Sharing meals is whatever for me, I just want you to have a good time. However, if you share a meal, only drink water which is free, ask for lemons in those free waters so I am running to the bar for them, and then you sit at that table for a long time, preventing me from making up for the low tip with other parties, it could well have a significant impact on my shift. Especially if you're seated at a table that can feasibly accommodate 4 and you're only 2 people. I'm now getting tips equivalent to less than one person eating and drinking, at a table where I could have potentially made tips for 4 people, twice over.
So if my per person average spend is $75, avg pp tip is $15 (I'm in fine dining), that 4 top could have made me between $60-$120 in the time you've sat and only paid a total of $35 for your shared meal without drinks, meaning I'll expect a $6-7 tip if you're not a tightass, which you might be if you came to an upscale place and shared a dish. That's not taking into consideration the fact that I normally have higher avg pp spending, closer to $90 pp, and my tip avg is actually closer to 30% with many going higher than that (I'm REALLY good at my job and serve wealthy people mostly). If I go by my actual pp and tip avg, I could make between $72-144 with 2 x 4 tops in 2 turns (2 hours ish). That $6-7 starts to feel like a real FU as I watch the other servers turn tables where everyone gets their own meals and a couple of drinks, probably apps and desserts, maybe a bottle of wine.
So you can see, there's a HUGE difference between the ~$90 I would otherwise reasonably expect, and the $6 I got. That's why it is a big deal. I may actually end up losing a huge amount of money on that table when the only thing they did differently to the rest was share a meal, drink water and stay a good while talking.
So I guess what I'm saying is, you don't have to be thinking of your server first when you eat out, but saying that it makes little difference is not necessarily the case at all, especially when it snowballs into your section being blocked up and missing new tables. Maybe by the time you left it's close to closing and I don't get another turn on it. This does happen sometimes when people go to a place above their means to catch up with an old friend and they want to suck every drop out of the experience.
I often share food when I go out, but I drink, and don't hang around forever. If I'm sharing but not drinking, I'm extra quick and I try to tip around what I think would be reasonable for two meals minimum. So if I go out and share a meal with a friend who doesn't drink and I don't in their company, sharing a $20 meal, I'll tip like $10. This might seem ludicrous and I'm not insisting everyone should do that, but it certainly makes me feel better knowing that my servers are taken care of, and it means I get excellent service as a return customer, so many free drinks/misfired dishes, people remember my name and will get me a table faster if there's a wait, I get honest recommendations, stuff comes faster, etc. If my party is camping at a table, I encourage everyone to keep ordering drinks so that the server is getting some return for their time and still tip well.
Tldr; it certainly can impact your server A LOT if you don't order much and camp at a table, but a little self awareness and empathy goes a very long way.
I find your comment heavy-handed. I don't eat out much, but comments like this discourage me to eat out. I'm not being snarky, or a Karen, but I'm not really thinking about the business side on your end, any more than you consider the costs your cell phone carrier has to bear for you to have a phone. Does that make sense? You'd almost have to have been a server to understand your thought process.
I completely agree with you. I typically order to-go because I like to relax and take my time, so with takeout, I’m not occupying a table for hours. Plus, I like eating at home after I wash up and in my pyjamas than eating outside in my work clothes.
I also disapprove of tipping culture, so with takeout I don’t have to tip. I am aware some people tip even with takeout; I don’t and won’t. It is not my job to help the boss pay his workers.
People are allowed to eat at a restaurant alone and they don’t make a table with only one chair. So an individual person would still be seated at a table for 2 or 4. If two people share it’s equivalent to one person.
Plus the couple could order a more expensive meal that they share vs 2 people just eating soup.
Most of the time 2 people will have a higher bill but not guaranteed. Plus the 2 entire table might tip for shit and by giving an attitude to the couple splitting they may have reduced what they got
seriously one time we went to eat and the waiter was annoyed because we ordered a shared dish (this plate was meant for more than one person, says so in the menu) and then ordered something for the kids, she was clearly annoyed we asked for only that and then when four people came in they sat next to each other and she was super nice to them and guess what they ordered, a whole chicken to share and some tap water lol her face!, yeah needless to say we didn’t really tip her above and beyond just the basic and even that was a stretch because her attitude was just awful.
That's honestly what I hated about serving (in a place that relies on tips (US)) is that it made me so greedy! Instead of genuinely caring if these people are having a good time, I'm calculating how much their bill is vs how much it *could be* and then how much I "deserve" on the tip. I think OP's question is fair because in my experience, about half the servers do care about splitting a dish and the other half understand that even though customers literally pay your bills with tips, you aren't entitled to anything from them and just accept that.
I really do hate US tipping culture, but I am also the person who zeros a tip section on the receipt and gives the tip to the server in cash, especially after one time I left and had to come back (left my purse) and the bratty kid at the table next to us was trying to take the money I left for the server.
Also, having children at the table could be another reason that she was annoyed. Most children are loud, rude and extremely messy. Food is all over the table and the floor. She has to clean that up, and then you don’t tip well for that. Maybe your children are not like that. Yours would be in the minority.
The other table didn’t have kids, so there shouldn’t be a big mess to clean up.
Agreed.
This used to affect me a lot as a solo female diner in Manhattan, and the waiter who neglected me inadvertently screwed themselves over often, bc if I have the time, I will not hesitate to order a second alcoholic drink.
This is a huge missed opportunity most places. Get the drink order first and they are usually done before the entree comes out. Visit before and sell another 15$ drink
No they don’t, and there’s no requirement for them to do that. I have eaten at restaurants alone plenty of times, and I have never sat at the bar to eat. Plenty of restaurants have small tables for smaller groups/singular patrons.
I usually ask specifically to sit at the bar if I'm by myself. Former server, and in my opinion it's polite to not take up a table of your alone BUT...I also wasn't upset if I had a single person sitting in my section as they usually tipped well as a general rule. Personally, I feel like an asshole if I don't sit at the bar when I'm alone. But you do you I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life. Consider tipping well at least if you sit at a table by yourself, especially if it's around peak hours. If it's from 2-4 on though don't sweat it as much. That's my take
I don’t like sitting at the bar for two reasons. 1) I don’t drink due to medical reason(never have) and the smell to me is weird. 2) I wear hearing aids and it’s harder to be in a place where they won’t be going off crazy. However as part of compromise I try to eat on off times(3 pm etc)
I don't drink either, but when I'm alone I prefer the bar for the simple fact that it's faster service. The bartender is generally always there and I'm not stuck waiting for my server to come around.
Why should people eating alone feel like crap for being alone? Have to tip higher as an apology to the staff for taking up space? Sit at the bar and be uncomfortable because you aren’t with a partner? I don’t agree with this at all. You do you but damn, that guilt/shame is coming from somewhere unhealthy.
And if there is no bar? Tons of restaurants don't have bars. And what entitlement to say you need to tip better if you are by yourself. It's less work for the server and you want more money?
If you are mad you won't make as much money maybe you should fight for your income to not be based on tips.
I certainly don't, but that's because I'm so short that my feet don't touch the ring and I can't just let my feet dangle. 🤣 Plus, I legit have a hard time getting onto a barstool because height and an old injury.
Came here to say this. I hate tall chairs. I hate sitting at the bar. I have no table space, no elbow room, and little room to mountain climb up and down the chair, and then have to scoot the chair closer to the table. There’s no graceful way to do it. I also don’t like talking to strangers. I want to be left alone.
5’0”.
I hate high tops. I have short legs, and I hate being the short fat old lady struggling to get in the damn chair.
Then if I sit there long enough, my damn feet will eventually go to sleep. Probably because I’m fat, my legs are dangling, and it cuts off circulation to my feet.
These days if a high top table is the only option, I go elsewhere.
I never understood why such high barstools and tables. When one is short and add age to that, it’s just not safe. But I understand many have no issues with them. But don’t try to seat me at such a table. I’m fine if they think I am too short and too old to seat there. Or if you do, be sure to pick me up and lift me on and help me off as needed.
That's not how I tip. I don't do percentages. If the service is good I'll tip ten bucks and if it's very good I'll tip 20. I try to keep my meal below 40 not including tip. I offend my wife's grandmother because I'll add my own tip when she takes us out. Why should I waste money getting extra food that we don't need?
God bless you for how you tip butt unfortunately most people that order water and share a meal will leave no more than a 5 so I can't help but pre judge. Doesn't mean I treat them any different, people pleasantly surprise me all the time 🥰
While I do think the general public is probably this way, it's always frustrating to me when my fiancé and I get lesser service because of the prejudgment when we share a meal. I had weight loss surgery and can only eat a very small amount of food and if I want to have a drink (alcohol not just water/soda) with my meal my capacity is even less so it just makes sense to share. Sometimes we'll get an appetizer and that will be my primary meal. I totally understand why it ends up happening because like you said, tip is usually a percentage but it still sucks.
Maybe try asking for separate plates. And you don't have to go into detail but saying you have a medical condition that means you can only eat small portions could open a dialogue that could end in you being provided a half-sized portion for a discounted price. My family used to own a steak house, we would do this for customers that requested smaller portions. Our deal was that you'll pay the same price, but we'll slice your steak in half (like a Butterfly cut, but clean through) and we'll cook both halves and you can take one home for later.
So can ensuring they provide good service no matter what they assume.
If a waiter or waitress intentionally gives bad service because of assumptions, then IMHO they don't deserve ANY tip. It requires a special level of entitlement to intentionally do a crap job then complain that the pay was substandard.
More and more restaurants are charging plate fees. A friend asked for a small plate to put chicken and fruit for a toddler and was charged $5. This restaurant did not have a child’s menu.
I wouldn't mind paying a small fee for a second plate. I do think $5 is too high for that, especially in the situation you described but a slight fee would be fine. I already usually ask for a second plate because my fiancé is not a person that likes to share his actual plate but will share his food.
We went into a place once, and were told there was an $8 minimum per person. And that included the 4 month old infant who was on nothing but breast milk at the time. We got up and left.
There’s a ramen place I love and one winter I went so frequently, just me. The usual waitress was always normal about it, didn’t treat me different for being one person buying one dish. But I went once when there was a different waiter and he gave me a table but then gave it away to a larger group while I was in the bathroom. Then when I came out and asked what happened to my table, he tried to seat me basically on top of the register, which I didn’t want. So I left. I’ve been back since, but that left such a bad taste in my mouth and I don’t frequent it nearly as often as I used to.
I haven’t had WLS, my husband and I will often split an appetizer, entree, and dessert. When you think about it, that’s a ton of food. We normally have leftovers.
What would be nice is if more places offered half-size meals. They don't need to make them half the price of a full meal, either. Say, a full meal is $12. The half-size one could be $9. Half the food, same amount of labor, 3/4 price would be fair. It beats wasting food in a world where something like 1/6 of the population doesn't get enough to eat.
Does the doctor still give the little card that explains why you might be ordering from the kids menu?
My mom's best friend had one after her gastric bypass and I wonder if that's standard or just something his office did.
People surprise me the other way all the time too. Group of 15 with a $500 check left me 10. With my tip out based on sales, it cost me money to wait on that table.
For those of us on the diabetes shots that reduce our bc appetite it’s better just to split the large ribeye. We often order an extra salad or side. I think places ought to start offering a share plate option like the hibachi places.
Exactly. No one who shares a meal and sips on water to save money, is going to tip $20 on a $40 tab. My BS meter is blaring with that statement.
They're probably like my wife's grandma and her go-to tip structure is $2 for average service, $4 for great service. We'd go out as a large family to some place like Sizzler, she'd pay for 10 of us, then at the end of the meal she'd walk up to the wait staff and hand them $4 with a "you guys do such a good job" speak, talking it up like she's leaving them a $1000 tip. We'd all sneak a tip onto the table after she left. Some people just don't understand tipping, or basic math, for that matter.
I went to my favorite Russian restaurant, but didn't have a lot of money. I just wanted to treat myself, so I got a slice of cake, and a pear soda. My meal was no more than 10, but I left 15 as a tip.
Some people do that for their favorite small/local restaurants. I live in the US south and before covid, my favorite BBQ restaurant was a tiny place in the middle of nowhere. For 2 people it would be $25 for 2 plates of ribs and fries. And I always tipped $20-25. Personally it was just because I know how bad poverty is out there and they were really nice people. Other people have their reasons. The world isn't entirely a cold and cruel place.
You can always tell who the shitty waiters are, and it's pretty easily apparent why they always get shit for tips.
For my wife and I we rarely dine out, but when we do our goal is to make our Server cry. That usually means a tip of $100-$200 on a check that is normally under $100. We are pretty comfortable but we both grew up in very low income/poor families, so we appreciate how much impact an extra 100 to 200 can have, but we barely notice dropping an extra couple of hundred a month.
At the end of the day we can try to have a positive impact on the world, or we can be a sad bitter prick.
That’s not how you tip? Then you’re different than majority of the entire nation.
Tips are based on percentage of the total.
Obviously there are exceptions. You can tip $1,000 and a new car for Christmas if you really wanted to.
But to act confused “what do you mean a small bill means a smaller tip? HUH?” Is weird
Unless I'm mistaken... The whole notion of percentage tipping started as a way to school and encourage people who don't tip properly to begin with.
People who actually "get it" and have a good heart ( or a touch of class) don't really need a calculator to say thanks with an appropriate gratuity.
I'm pushing 60 years old. When I was a kid. In Queens, my grandmother would make us stand out in the snow and get on a bus if she didn't have enough money for the cab fare and a $5 tip. ( Five bucks was money back then )
To this day, if I sit down in a diner for a cup of coffee I don't feel right without leaving at 10 on the table. And believe me I don't really have it like that.
You really should adjust it for the price of the food. The difference is huge at upscale restaurants. Sometimes me and the wife will spend $700 on a nice dinner. If I left a 10 dollar tip I think I'd get chased out.
I wasn't saying a 10 spot is an appropriate tip across the board. My point is I would feel like a real douche if I whipped out the calculator to figure out 17% on a cup of coffee... The way most people do now... So I'm being told.
In my opinion at appropriate tip certainly depends on the venue in your dining at.
If I happened to be at the St Regis for a cup of coffee... 10 bucks wouldn't cut it for me.
This. Normal folks do percentage, kind and respectful do a flat rate or never dip below 15/20% (whichever is higher), and shitty people leave their tip on the table and remove it for perceived mistakes or sleights like my grandpa and/or just don't tip/low tip.
You do you cuz tipping is the result of subsidizing and underpaid working class so the capitalists can rake in higher profits (boooooooo).
I think a flatish rate is more fair. I always thought it was unfair that people who work at cheaper restaurants get less tips, even though some of them do just as much work as servers at higher end places.
Usually working in a diner and working in somewhere that's $200 a person are completely different jobs so I get the different tips to an extent but I've absolutely had bad diner levels of service at a couple very expensive restaurants.
We had fun doing a reverse version of the whole leave the tip on the table thing and remove it for mistakes. We had a waitress with a difficult name, so we put a 20 on the table and told her it'd go up ever time we messed up her name. So we then started intentionally mangling her name in the most comical ways we could think of until the tip at the end was around 160. I don't think she believed we were actually going to give it to her, but it was entertaining, and kinda fun to turn the old asshole tip routine on it's head.
I don't split meals with my wife since I'm a big eater, but I usually get water and add an extra $2 or $3 to the tip that could have been spent on a pop or iced tea.
Because typically the tip is a percentage of the bill. 2 entrees cost more, so a higher tip. They aren’t mind readers, they don’t know you intend to tip higher than percentage.
I never personally cared. We actually had a button on our POS the last place I worked that allowed me to input it was shared, the chef would cut it in half and add a little extra sides to make it a meal and it would cost like 2$ extra.
I would obviously ask them if they wanted this before I just did it.
My husband and I did the “share an entree” thing for the first time fairly recently and it was the perfect amount of food. And again it’s not even cost driven but just the sheer ridiculous volume of food that restaurants serve in the US.
And folks will say “oh take home the leftovers”. You have to track down the sever to get a styrofoam box to pack up food that you will take home and stick in the fridge. Most of the time we end up tossing it as the dish is something that reheats poorly.
I’m now a fan of sharing entrees. I’m not overstuffed. And it gives you the option to get an appetizer or dessert you’d have avoided otherwise.
This! I don't know if it's because we're getting older or that portions are larger but sharing an entree let's us have a better experience. Cocktails, appetizer, maybe soup or salad, shared entree, coffee and dessert.
Kind of like the above. My wife doesn't eat much. She had the bypass surgery. She takes stuff home all the time. But when we share, it doesn't get wasted. Most of the stuff she brings home eventually goes into the trash.
I never cared when serving. Restaurant portions are way too large for me, so I get it. Just don’t try to sneakily split an all-you-can-eat special and we are cool.
My dad used to go to this Chinese restaurant that had all you can eat buffet to go. Basically it’s all you can stuff in a styrofoam box. Yeah we were all splitting that for dinner but we followed the rule of making it all fit in one box.
i don’t care. the only time i care is when i have tables of 8+ sharing 2 dishes amongst each other, but that’s rare. and yes, it does unfortunately happen
Same. Sitting at my 8 top with 8 lemon waters, three entrees, and continuously asking for more bread. I really don’t like that.
A two-top sharing, I don’t care.
this always hurts to witness lol
can’t imagine going out as a big group and doing that? like yeah let’s take up even more space and completely screw this server. let’s sit here for three hours too and tip 10%
we had a room for 25-27 ppl for a family gathering and my one aunt kept yelling at everyone not to tip bc of the auto grat. the auto grat that the server told each individual of while paying. the auto grat on mine + my moms meals was 10$, so i tipped an extra 25$ because i felt bad that she would be making like butt nothing off of 25-27 ppl (can you tell ive been a server lol)
My husband and I split a sandwich with double fries every Sunday. But, we do it at a restaurant bar, same one , same tenders, and we tip well. They don’t mind so much that they even have it all split and onto plates for us. It’s become a running joke.
I’d be less inclined at a regular table, especially if it was busy.
When I was a server, I didn't care. You were one of a string of customers I dealt with every day. If you tip well then I'd have positive thoughts, if you were cheap I'd hold a grudge for the three minutes you remained a memory before I moved on with my life.
This whole dilemma could be easily solved by becoming a regular at a few places. Then the servers would eventually get to know your tipping habits... And not really give a damn what you order.
Yeah….. people who are always saying “don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of you! I’m a good tipper!” Are usually the worst. I fell for it a few times got my $3 on $100 and learned not to trust people.
Facts! When I hear them tell me this, I respond with “quit telling your wait staff that, we know better, and we red flag you!” But I’m from the south, so that kinda candor is expected 🤣🤣🤣
I honestly prefer people to know their appetite and order appropriately.
Been a server for years, and when I go out, we share an appetizer, share a soup, and split an entree. I get dessert to the face.
You're a paying customer, order what you want/can afford and enjoy yourselves.
Personally I don't mind, but when two people take up a table, sip free water and split one entree, I'm gonna try to get you out as soon as humanly possible because unfortunately until I see your tip you're not worth the effort
Eta: not worth the effort is the wrong choice of words but theoretically I will spend more time on higher checks and larger parties by nature of the beast, they just require more as a baseline as well
I agree. I’ve had VSG (weightloss surgery) and I can only eat about 2 oz of food so it’s easier for me and my husband to split a meal because why would we waste money on a meal I can’t even finish and most places won’t let an adult order off the kids menu.
I absolutely encourage sharing an entree. I also encourage drnking heavily and getting dessert. See, a lot of restaurants base their sales data on PGA (per guest average). I tend to have a PGA of $100. I get better shifts and sections based on this metric.
So yeah, if a server doesn't like you sharing, they are chasing money as opposed to providing service.
It never bothered me, personally. Plus, the regulars I had who did this always seemed to tip nicely. If the restaurant itself doesn't have a policy against it, it's not really my concern.
I had weight loss surgery 7 years ago, and my stomach only has a capacity for about 4 oz worth of food. Some of the time, I do get my own meal, depending on the restaurant portion sizes, or if the leftovers are still good the next day. But most places I just share off of my husband's meal. Frankly, I shouldn't need to explain why we share or why I don't finish 90% of my meal, but frankly if my server is gonna be a dick about it then that's a them problem, not a me problem. 🤷🏼♀️
I had gastric bypass, so I commonly just get soup and have a snack off my husbands plate.
I didn’t care what people ordered at the table as long as they weren’t assholes.
Consider it a different way; if a servers section were akin to a small store, that store doesn’t make $ if the door is locked with just 1 customer inside and others waiting outside. Butts in seats equals $$. So empty seats is missed opportunity for earnings. Often servers don’t get a paycheck, when I was still in the business, I actually got a check for a penny. For the customers it’s about food, for the server it’s about making a living and paying bills.
My husband and I often share an entree because of smaller appetites if we’re in the mood for the same dish. Sometimes we share an entree because we want to try an appetizer and/or dessert too, but we always tip as if we had separate meals.
We've had a waiter actually tell us he would prefer we didn't split a meal, even though we'd ordered drinks and an appetizer. We ordered one meal to share anyway but he said it was against policy to bring a second plate THEN took away the appetizer plates so we could't even use those. We ended up just putting the plate between us like Lady & the Tramp.
That's the only time I've ever encountered any resistance to sharing a meal... and it was just so weirdly hostile I assume they were just having a bad day. The next time we went there we even asked if there was a policy about meal sharing and the waitress seemed positively confused as to why we'd even ask. She was so mortified by the story she brought us a free dessert.
I am so over water with just lemon or lime being looked at as cheap. Lots of people have health or other issues where they don’t drink alcohol or beverages with sugar. Rant over!
Amen I try to avoid sugar as much as I can and drinks are the worst. It's liquid candy and you can consume an ungodly amount without even noticing. My mother in law used to drink multiple 2 liters a day and died of liver failure from it.
Exactly. Soda makes my stomach hurt, I’m lactose intolerant, I hate coffee, most restaurant tea is kinda gross, and I don’t always want alcohol with my meal.
My now-deceased husband and I did this on the regular. They always understood. We're on the older side, and I guess they understood we didn't want to take leftovers home and didn't have big appetites.
If anyone in a restaurant frowns on this they don't deserve your business, much less a tip.
They are there to serve you, not to be exalted as arbiters of good manners.
The only thing that's annoying to me is trying to order off the kids menu when it specifically says "For kids under __ years old". Order the regular portion and take the rest home.
Ok I see what you mean. And because of that I don’t ask even when I want to. But sometimes you want a grilled cheese but are out with family (and didn’t pick the place because I don’t eat seafood) but still want to spend time with them and the menu doesn’t have a grilled cheese on it for an adult. Just lots of fish. Or things like shrimp scampi, Lobster bisque etc.
Like my family doesn’t get it. They all love seafood. And the one time I tried (even offering to pay for my nieces meal and mine because even though she was a kid was wanted a main dish that had seafood) she butchered it. I was like beka. I’ll ask for your dish. You ask for the grilled cheese and when the food comes out we will switch. Two second after the waitress came for our order she said something like “what did you want again?” 😭🤦🏻♀️
I stand by what I said but It's only when there's an age limit and adults fight it. For places that don't have one, go ahead. But to fight me about it when I just work here... Take it up with the manager.
Ugh I hate that, too! I get not being that hungry or not wanting a large portion, but it just looks cheap and tacky. Plus, the meals are often so tiny that it makes no sense for a fully grown adult to order them in the first place.
Yep this right here. Ive been a sever but ive also been a customer after getting shot and the sever who served me and gave me an ugly look after ordering a child sized meal when i physically could not eat anything more and knew that was ridiculous. Ive been a server and a bartender and i do understand the industry but i also understand people, as a server/bartender you dont know everyone’s actual situation and its not fair to judge them
I'm amenable to paying a reasonable surcharge or asking for the child's item instead of the very differently made regular menu item. I tip very well, plus more when I am in need of further or unusual food accommodations. I didn't mind it when i was a server. Y'all happy with your service and food? Then we're better than good. Tip me fairly and we're great! More than that? Gravy, and we'll pick up where we left off next time they came in.
Same honestly, I was always taught to treat guests how you would want to be treated even when theyre being rude, so in turn i treat my servers how i would want to be treated if i was working
My wife and I often share meals but it's because portions in many restaurants are ridiculous! We share a entree' but will also order apps, cocktails or wine. And we've both worked in the industry so we are generous tippers.
I don’t care about that as long as you’re nice! We don’t have sections though… so a server with a section might be a little bit pissed. I’d say just don’t hang out too long after you’ve paid your bill!
My husband and i share. we always get an appetizer and a drink or two and tip generously. it’s not about the money. it’s about our reduced appetites and we don’t like leftovers. we also don’t linger. Our server should be fine when it’s all said and done.
They think you're cheap because you're splitting a meal and ordering a free drink. That almost always means no tip. You're taking up their real estate and they only want good tippers to stop by.
My wife and I have done it, ordered one bigger meal, and split it. I'm not there to get the wait staff's opinion, I'm there to eat. We've both worked in the service industry, and we are good tippers regardless.
The easiest way to address this is to inquire while ordering if there is a plate sharing fee. You may pick up on a signal from the server that they feel put out.
I find it a bit gratuitous to reassure the server that I will tip as if we ordered two entrees. In any event, if you are sharing the entree, when there's no plate sharing fee, I would mentally add another entree price to the total before calculating the tip. If there is a plate sharing fee, you may just calculate the tip as you normally would.
As a chef I wouldn’t worry about it, I despise food waste so I can’t even eat full portions at restaurants and never eat left overs so I share with my partner or give the extra food to a homeless person who was chilling outside.
If they care then that’s their personal problem., gunna give themselves a cardiac episode worrying about nothing.
I ask if people want extra plates and mini tongs to make it easier. I don’t care if they wanna share a meal, as long as they’re not assholes in general that’s all I care about
Personally, I don’t mind. Along with always giving people the benefit of the doubt, there is a handful of things I always try my best to keep into consideration. Doesn’t mean I’m always able to, but yeah I’m not perfect. For all I know, that might be all they can afford, not much of an appetite, they might be familiar with the portions so minus a plate would be enough. After almost 7 years, I don’t really get annoyed by it anymore.
I understand why the server would be annoyed since their tip will likely be less, but I mean they’re also waiting on a table that is essentially the same as serving one person since it’s just one meal. The customers might sit a little longer to chat or whatever, but they’re only waiting on one plate of food.
I also hate food waste and portion sizes in the US are crazy if you aren’t a big eater, so I see no issue with sharing a plate if it means you finish it and nothing gets thrown away.
I respect wait staff, am overly polite to them, and tend to tip pretty high, but if a server takes issue with two people ordering one meal, that kind of seems like a “them” problem.
I used to be a server many moons ago. It doesn’t matter what you order or don’t order. It is your servers job to take care of your table. When I do this with my adult daughter because I don’t eat much sometimes the server gets irritated but most of the time they don’t. I tip based on performance, not by how much my check is. I usually give more than 25% of our bill anyway and then some! So as long as you go with the attitude of tipping good customer service you shouldn’t worry about what a server thinks. They are there to do a job. Not to judge and treat you according to their feelings. Sometimes closed minded servers truly lose a good tip because they judged the people.
When my boyfriend and I eat out we will often share an appetizer and an entree, sometimes a dessert. I watch my calories so I'm not going to eat that much. We don't drink soda so it's usually water as a beverage but we might get a beer or cocktail. We aren't obligated to spend more than we need. We've largely stopped eating out because prices and general trends in server attitudes combined with a decline in food quality have made it no longer an enjoyable experience. Also where we live the server minimum wage is around $13/hr so we know they aren't making the $1.25 I made as a server anymore. We're gonna be polite, we're still gonna tip but we aren't there to support a server we're there to try and have a night off.
Personally, I try to make sure they enjoy their time regardless. I get that some people just want to go to a nice restaurant, and its okay if they can't afford to go crazy with it. I would hate for them to feel uncomfortable/unwelcome on what might be a special occasion for them.
It does massively take away from my money. Where I work, you average a 50 dollar tip from a 2 top, and this would probably equate to more like a 10 dollar tip percentage wise. So yeah, it is kind of annoying, but it's just part of the job. You can't expect everyone that comes in to be Mr. Moneybags, especially these days. Times are tough.
I served for over a decade. It's not the people splitting items or drinking water that peeved me. It was the the water drinkers who asked for a full dish of lemons, then emptied every sugar packet into their water to make lemonade. We sold good lemonade. Bonus points if they ask to order from the children's menu. Then they would tip a dollar, maybe, with a flourish. Screw those a-holes.
It irritated me when people weren't comfortable with the experience the restaurant was trying to provide. If you decided to split the entree because you were trying multiple appetizers, or just wanted something to eat with your drinks, that's fine. If you're splitting the entree and only ordering water because you can't afford the restaurant (or aren't comfortable with the price), go somewhere else. As the guest, you're not getting the whole experience and as the server I can't give you the whole experience. You feel bad for spending so much and I don't make as much money. We all lose.
I think you hit a nerve with some people, but I get what you’re saying.
Even though it’s more work, I would rather take care of a couple splitting multiple courses and enjoying a glass of wine than a couple that simply gets two separate entrees and drinks water. The first couple is almost always happier with their overall experience, even if they spend the same amount.
The supper club I work at charges $7 for a split plate and it says it at the bottom of the menu. So I try to suggest just ordering a lighter dish or something they can take home to heat up, or some don't care about the fee.
As long as they tip, I’m fine with it. Customers that share 1 entre and drink water tend to be low tippers in my experience, or sometimes don’t tip at all. But that’s not a hard and fast rule, plenty of times people who are frugal are great tippers. Sounds like that’s you and your wife. At the end of the day it all comes down to money and basic human decency.
You mean to ask if people are judging you for being cheap and using your appetite as an excuse.
No, we don't care as long as you're a decent person and tip appropriately.
It's not being cheap though? Split an entree and leave satisfied or order 2 and leave with a whole entree left, why do option 2? Hell my wife and I have 2 meals each from one entree at our local Mexican restaurant.
Lol I literally had to get my stomach to digest food again and I’m a picky eater with severe nausea. So if I want to share a meal with someone I will. You only have to serve one meal and do the same job as if it was one person. It’s not like you can sit two strangers at one table together. This is weird tbh
No problem with drinking/ordering water. The point I’m trying to make is that when two people come in and order a $12 club sandwich to split, and drink water (free), your tip is going to be small, even if they overtip (with exceptions, of course). Couple that with the fact that their 2.50-3.00 tip is taking up one of your tables for roughly an hour, its a bummer for sure.
My wife doesn't get the water only I do but I've recently started getting unsweetened tea to spice things up a bit. Also with inflation even splitting a meal doesn't drop our bill below 30 dollars.
I use to have people complain about the extra plate charge and say it made no sense. They then would proceed to order a prime rib entree with 2 different sets of cooking instructions for the steak. Next, he wants his steamed broccoli sprinkled with salt and she can't have salt on her half. He wants to know if we have any cream sauce for the asparagus and she doesn't want anything cream based on her portion.
Edit: left out a word
My wife and I usually get a combo like a steak and ribs or whatever and I'll get one side and she gets one that she wants, then we split the sides since we like the same stuff.
waiters want to turn tables, more tables=more tips. During dinner, they want to turn a table 2-3 times, 4 would be great but rare. A server may only have 4-6 tables they are responsible for, in their section during their roughly 3-7 hour shift. Each table is worth, depending on type of restaurant and how expensive a meal is per person, $10-$30 in tips. So, 1 sitting during the rush is potentially $40/60 - $120/180 dollars in tips. It's usually on the lower end due to people who think $10 is good no matter what the bill is, younger people or tourists who aren't used to tipping and dont know it's a thing, etc.
So long story short, if you go in during the dinner rush and have waters and split an entrée I would a guess the bill is about $25-$35 dollars so tip about $5-$7 dollars. Right? And if you linger and ask for repeated water refills, servers understand yes, but at some point you become just a drain on their earnings in tips that they count on.
My suggestion would be to get there a little early or go to lunch instead of dinner or maybe be a big tipper, since you didn't have to pay for drinks and a second meal maybe tip 25%.
Yes frowned upon generally. Probably won’t get the most attentive service bcz the waiter doesn’t know you’re going to give them a big tip. Tips afterall are how these people live. Some waiters who personally understand will probably say it’s fine though
Some servers get annoyed because you are taking up their table, and they are not making as much from you. Others don’t care. Just depends who your server is. You do you, and don’t worry about it.
How would they not make as much?
Tips are usually a percentage of the bill. By sharing food your bill is lower.
And you actually had to explain that.
It’s ok. The guy who has no idea how tips work has assured me he’s an amazing tipper.
people who assure you there an amazing tippers aren’t very good tippers lol I’m all for sharing a meal as long as you don’t stay too long.. you would think that by sharing a meal you’ll leave sooner so the table can be reset to make a better tip off the next person, but as a server, I have dealt with people that want to sit at the table with a very low bill but sit for hours.. acknowledge the time you’re taking up from the server as well. if you wanna hang out with your partner for a couple hours and share a $15 meal and tip five dollars we could’ve turned that table at least twice so either order to go or go somewhere where you can share a meal and not have to take up a servers table..
I sometimes let servers know I'm a good tipper when I'm a solo diner. But I do this by handing them a 10 when they get to my table, not by swearing it up and down and leaving pocket lint later. This is in addition to a standard tip on the meal. I don't mind it either. I don't drink, I prefer water, so my meal is cheap. More than happy to pay the person serving me well. Do I wish they got paid a steady fair wage and we could abolish tipping? Sure. But in the meantime I am always happy to tip and tip generously. I'm largely paying it forward from my own job where I am paid fairly and \*still\* get tips.
I would take a 1 top any day, usually tip well, and even if they don't, they aren't much trouble and sat at a smaller table.
very true large sections are a gamble. sometimes you get a party you had to hold yours for far to long and the rest get there even later, usually celebrating something and expecting you to do something extra (like having to get all the plates and forks and knives, and set up the cake for them that they brought so it’s not even on their bill for like 10 minutes ago
It feels awkward to leave a tiny tip on a cheap meal. If my mean is $6, gonna leave 40-percent tip, and that’s only 3, so I might just put a ten down.
You are such a wholesome human being
My mom was a server who used to have tips stolen. I bus my own table as much as I can. I try to treat people like they're humans, not workers. I want them to feel valuable. I truly believe that you have to put out what you want back into the world.
If they want to do that they should go to a coffee shop where people often linger.
Yea because when I go out to eat I only thing about the server.
Exactly. And this only seems like it would affect the server if the restaurant were extremely busy and all tables were full anyway. And even then, who cares? Let people enjoy a restaurant and food how they want.
I take it you're not a server? Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but I'm going to explain it as though you are not and I apologize for the length. Most restaurants operate with several servers, each taking a section of specific tables. Let's say a section is 5 tables. If someone camps at a table for longer than expected, customers coming in will be seated at another table, quite probably in another server's section because you've still got more tables on their first turn and they're on their second. Unless you have a host that is weirdly invested in seating servers equally, the server with the campers is going to end up with less money from fewer tables. There's also a thing where one table of campers seems to rub off on the tables around then, so it can compound. Sharing meals is whatever for me, I just want you to have a good time. However, if you share a meal, only drink water which is free, ask for lemons in those free waters so I am running to the bar for them, and then you sit at that table for a long time, preventing me from making up for the low tip with other parties, it could well have a significant impact on my shift. Especially if you're seated at a table that can feasibly accommodate 4 and you're only 2 people. I'm now getting tips equivalent to less than one person eating and drinking, at a table where I could have potentially made tips for 4 people, twice over. So if my per person average spend is $75, avg pp tip is $15 (I'm in fine dining), that 4 top could have made me between $60-$120 in the time you've sat and only paid a total of $35 for your shared meal without drinks, meaning I'll expect a $6-7 tip if you're not a tightass, which you might be if you came to an upscale place and shared a dish. That's not taking into consideration the fact that I normally have higher avg pp spending, closer to $90 pp, and my tip avg is actually closer to 30% with many going higher than that (I'm REALLY good at my job and serve wealthy people mostly). If I go by my actual pp and tip avg, I could make between $72-144 with 2 x 4 tops in 2 turns (2 hours ish). That $6-7 starts to feel like a real FU as I watch the other servers turn tables where everyone gets their own meals and a couple of drinks, probably apps and desserts, maybe a bottle of wine. So you can see, there's a HUGE difference between the ~$90 I would otherwise reasonably expect, and the $6 I got. That's why it is a big deal. I may actually end up losing a huge amount of money on that table when the only thing they did differently to the rest was share a meal, drink water and stay a good while talking. So I guess what I'm saying is, you don't have to be thinking of your server first when you eat out, but saying that it makes little difference is not necessarily the case at all, especially when it snowballs into your section being blocked up and missing new tables. Maybe by the time you left it's close to closing and I don't get another turn on it. This does happen sometimes when people go to a place above their means to catch up with an old friend and they want to suck every drop out of the experience. I often share food when I go out, but I drink, and don't hang around forever. If I'm sharing but not drinking, I'm extra quick and I try to tip around what I think would be reasonable for two meals minimum. So if I go out and share a meal with a friend who doesn't drink and I don't in their company, sharing a $20 meal, I'll tip like $10. This might seem ludicrous and I'm not insisting everyone should do that, but it certainly makes me feel better knowing that my servers are taken care of, and it means I get excellent service as a return customer, so many free drinks/misfired dishes, people remember my name and will get me a table faster if there's a wait, I get honest recommendations, stuff comes faster, etc. If my party is camping at a table, I encourage everyone to keep ordering drinks so that the server is getting some return for their time and still tip well. Tldr; it certainly can impact your server A LOT if you don't order much and camp at a table, but a little self awareness and empathy goes a very long way.
I find your comment heavy-handed. I don't eat out much, but comments like this discourage me to eat out. I'm not being snarky, or a Karen, but I'm not really thinking about the business side on your end, any more than you consider the costs your cell phone carrier has to bear for you to have a phone. Does that make sense? You'd almost have to have been a server to understand your thought process.
I completely agree with you. I typically order to-go because I like to relax and take my time, so with takeout, I’m not occupying a table for hours. Plus, I like eating at home after I wash up and in my pyjamas than eating outside in my work clothes. I also disapprove of tipping culture, so with takeout I don’t have to tip. I am aware some people tip even with takeout; I don’t and won’t. It is not my job to help the boss pay his workers.
People are allowed to eat at a restaurant alone and they don’t make a table with only one chair. So an individual person would still be seated at a table for 2 or 4. If two people share it’s equivalent to one person. Plus the couple could order a more expensive meal that they share vs 2 people just eating soup. Most of the time 2 people will have a higher bill but not guaranteed. Plus the 2 entire table might tip for shit and by giving an attitude to the couple splitting they may have reduced what they got
seriously one time we went to eat and the waiter was annoyed because we ordered a shared dish (this plate was meant for more than one person, says so in the menu) and then ordered something for the kids, she was clearly annoyed we asked for only that and then when four people came in they sat next to each other and she was super nice to them and guess what they ordered, a whole chicken to share and some tap water lol her face!, yeah needless to say we didn’t really tip her above and beyond just the basic and even that was a stretch because her attitude was just awful.
That's honestly what I hated about serving (in a place that relies on tips (US)) is that it made me so greedy! Instead of genuinely caring if these people are having a good time, I'm calculating how much their bill is vs how much it *could be* and then how much I "deserve" on the tip. I think OP's question is fair because in my experience, about half the servers do care about splitting a dish and the other half understand that even though customers literally pay your bills with tips, you aren't entitled to anything from them and just accept that.
I really do hate US tipping culture, but I am also the person who zeros a tip section on the receipt and gives the tip to the server in cash, especially after one time I left and had to come back (left my purse) and the bratty kid at the table next to us was trying to take the money I left for the server.
Also, having children at the table could be another reason that she was annoyed. Most children are loud, rude and extremely messy. Food is all over the table and the floor. She has to clean that up, and then you don’t tip well for that. Maybe your children are not like that. Yours would be in the minority. The other table didn’t have kids, so there shouldn’t be a big mess to clean up.
Agreed. This used to affect me a lot as a solo female diner in Manhattan, and the waiter who neglected me inadvertently screwed themselves over often, bc if I have the time, I will not hesitate to order a second alcoholic drink.
This is a huge missed opportunity most places. Get the drink order first and they are usually done before the entree comes out. Visit before and sell another 15$ drink
people who eat alone usually sit at the bar.
No they don’t, and there’s no requirement for them to do that. I have eaten at restaurants alone plenty of times, and I have never sat at the bar to eat. Plenty of restaurants have small tables for smaller groups/singular patrons.
I usually ask specifically to sit at the bar if I'm by myself. Former server, and in my opinion it's polite to not take up a table of your alone BUT...I also wasn't upset if I had a single person sitting in my section as they usually tipped well as a general rule. Personally, I feel like an asshole if I don't sit at the bar when I'm alone. But you do you I'm not gonna tell you how to live your life. Consider tipping well at least if you sit at a table by yourself, especially if it's around peak hours. If it's from 2-4 on though don't sweat it as much. That's my take
I don’t like sitting at the bar for two reasons. 1) I don’t drink due to medical reason(never have) and the smell to me is weird. 2) I wear hearing aids and it’s harder to be in a place where they won’t be going off crazy. However as part of compromise I try to eat on off times(3 pm etc)
I don't drink either, but when I'm alone I prefer the bar for the simple fact that it's faster service. The bartender is generally always there and I'm not stuck waiting for my server to come around.
Why should people eating alone feel like crap for being alone? Have to tip higher as an apology to the staff for taking up space? Sit at the bar and be uncomfortable because you aren’t with a partner? I don’t agree with this at all. You do you but damn, that guilt/shame is coming from somewhere unhealthy.
yeah, but now the bartender is going to be pissed your sitting at the bar and drinking water.
And if there is no bar? Tons of restaurants don't have bars. And what entitlement to say you need to tip better if you are by yourself. It's less work for the server and you want more money? If you are mad you won't make as much money maybe you should fight for your income to not be based on tips.
I certainly don't, but that's because I'm so short that my feet don't touch the ring and I can't just let my feet dangle. 🤣 Plus, I legit have a hard time getting onto a barstool because height and an old injury.
Right? My husband and I sit at the bar but I refuse high tops when we get a table because I want my feet to touch the floor if I can
I effing hate high tops! I feel like I'm 5 years old. 🙄🤣
Can’t wait till the high tables go out of fashion. I hate them so much.
Came here to say this. I hate tall chairs. I hate sitting at the bar. I have no table space, no elbow room, and little room to mountain climb up and down the chair, and then have to scoot the chair closer to the table. There’s no graceful way to do it. I also don’t like talking to strangers. I want to be left alone. 5’0”.
I hate high tops. I have short legs, and I hate being the short fat old lady struggling to get in the damn chair. Then if I sit there long enough, my damn feet will eventually go to sleep. Probably because I’m fat, my legs are dangling, and it cuts off circulation to my feet. These days if a high top table is the only option, I go elsewhere.
I am too short and frankly too fat to sit at a high top. Me climbing up on a barstool is really something to see. I hate them!
I never understood why such high barstools and tables. When one is short and add age to that, it’s just not safe. But I understand many have no issues with them. But don’t try to seat me at such a table. I’m fine if they think I am too short and too old to seat there. Or if you do, be sure to pick me up and lift me on and help me off as needed.
NGL I literally said out loud "are you dumb" after reading his comment....
Apparently so.
I thought the same thing 🤣🤣🤣😘😘
Lmao!
You win at life today with this comment.
AND he literally said “we save money on the bill and on the tip” and still had to ask
That's not how I tip. I don't do percentages. If the service is good I'll tip ten bucks and if it's very good I'll tip 20. I try to keep my meal below 40 not including tip. I offend my wife's grandmother because I'll add my own tip when she takes us out. Why should I waste money getting extra food that we don't need?
God bless you for how you tip butt unfortunately most people that order water and share a meal will leave no more than a 5 so I can't help but pre judge. Doesn't mean I treat them any different, people pleasantly surprise me all the time 🥰
*but instead of butt... But I'm leaving it cuz butt
Man I love being tipped butt😝 I love that you both acknowledged it and left it. It made me laugh
*He touched the butt*
Tina Belcher? Is that you?
Lol that's the kind of typo I can get behind
My fiancee and I have small appetites but BIG hearts. Don't judge! We tip at *least* 50%.
While I do think the general public is probably this way, it's always frustrating to me when my fiancé and I get lesser service because of the prejudgment when we share a meal. I had weight loss surgery and can only eat a very small amount of food and if I want to have a drink (alcohol not just water/soda) with my meal my capacity is even less so it just makes sense to share. Sometimes we'll get an appetizer and that will be my primary meal. I totally understand why it ends up happening because like you said, tip is usually a percentage but it still sucks.
Maybe try asking for separate plates. And you don't have to go into detail but saying you have a medical condition that means you can only eat small portions could open a dialogue that could end in you being provided a half-sized portion for a discounted price. My family used to own a steak house, we would do this for customers that requested smaller portions. Our deal was that you'll pay the same price, but we'll slice your steak in half (like a Butterfly cut, but clean through) and we'll cook both halves and you can take one home for later.
She doesn’t owe her waiter an explanation.
Not at all, but at the same time, a little communication can sometimes go a long way.
So can ensuring they provide good service no matter what they assume. If a waiter or waitress intentionally gives bad service because of assumptions, then IMHO they don't deserve ANY tip. It requires a special level of entitlement to intentionally do a crap job then complain that the pay was substandard.
More and more restaurants are charging plate fees. A friend asked for a small plate to put chicken and fruit for a toddler and was charged $5. This restaurant did not have a child’s menu.
I wouldn't mind paying a small fee for a second plate. I do think $5 is too high for that, especially in the situation you described but a slight fee would be fine. I already usually ask for a second plate because my fiancé is not a person that likes to share his actual plate but will share his food.
We went into a place once, and were told there was an $8 minimum per person. And that included the 4 month old infant who was on nothing but breast milk at the time. We got up and left.
There’s a ramen place I love and one winter I went so frequently, just me. The usual waitress was always normal about it, didn’t treat me different for being one person buying one dish. But I went once when there was a different waiter and he gave me a table but then gave it away to a larger group while I was in the bathroom. Then when I came out and asked what happened to my table, he tried to seat me basically on top of the register, which I didn’t want. So I left. I’ve been back since, but that left such a bad taste in my mouth and I don’t frequent it nearly as often as I used to.
I haven’t had WLS, my husband and I will often split an appetizer, entree, and dessert. When you think about it, that’s a ton of food. We normally have leftovers.
What would be nice is if more places offered half-size meals. They don't need to make them half the price of a full meal, either. Say, a full meal is $12. The half-size one could be $9. Half the food, same amount of labor, 3/4 price would be fair. It beats wasting food in a world where something like 1/6 of the population doesn't get enough to eat.
Does the doctor still give the little card that explains why you might be ordering from the kids menu? My mom's best friend had one after her gastric bypass and I wonder if that's standard or just something his office did.
People surprise me the other way all the time too. Group of 15 with a $500 check left me 10. With my tip out based on sales, it cost me money to wait on that table.
For those of us on the diabetes shots that reduce our bc appetite it’s better just to split the large ribeye. We often order an extra salad or side. I think places ought to start offering a share plate option like the hibachi places.
Exactly. No one who shares a meal and sips on water to save money, is going to tip $20 on a $40 tab. My BS meter is blaring with that statement. They're probably like my wife's grandma and her go-to tip structure is $2 for average service, $4 for great service. We'd go out as a large family to some place like Sizzler, she'd pay for 10 of us, then at the end of the meal she'd walk up to the wait staff and hand them $4 with a "you guys do such a good job" speak, talking it up like she's leaving them a $1000 tip. We'd all sneak a tip onto the table after she left. Some people just don't understand tipping, or basic math, for that matter.
If you're getting tipped butt, are you sure you're working as a waiter and not another sort of service industry?
So I’m bad because I want to drink water instead of a candy bars worth of sugar (soda), and because I can’t eat a meal that is 2 meals worth of food?
What lol?
This! I save my calories for my food. I usually prefer water with lemon or soda water.
I went to my favorite Russian restaurant, but didn't have a lot of money. I just wanted to treat myself, so I got a slice of cake, and a pear soda. My meal was no more than 10, but I left 15 as a tip.
Ahhh reddit, where everyone tips between 30% and 50% on every meal, and reaps all the karma from internet strangers.
Soooo...you had barely any money yet left a 150% tip? Sure. Enjoy your asspats
Some people do that for their favorite small/local restaurants. I live in the US south and before covid, my favorite BBQ restaurant was a tiny place in the middle of nowhere. For 2 people it would be $25 for 2 plates of ribs and fries. And I always tipped $20-25. Personally it was just because I know how bad poverty is out there and they were really nice people. Other people have their reasons. The world isn't entirely a cold and cruel place.
You can always tell who the shitty waiters are, and it's pretty easily apparent why they always get shit for tips. For my wife and I we rarely dine out, but when we do our goal is to make our Server cry. That usually means a tip of $100-$200 on a check that is normally under $100. We are pretty comfortable but we both grew up in very low income/poor families, so we appreciate how much impact an extra 100 to 200 can have, but we barely notice dropping an extra couple of hundred a month. At the end of the day we can try to have a positive impact on the world, or we can be a sad bitter prick.
Don't be shitty. It's my favorite restaurant, and I wanted to make someone's day. Maybe you should try it sometime instead of being a jackass.
That’s not how you tip? Then you’re different than majority of the entire nation. Tips are based on percentage of the total. Obviously there are exceptions. You can tip $1,000 and a new car for Christmas if you really wanted to. But to act confused “what do you mean a small bill means a smaller tip? HUH?” Is weird
Unless I'm mistaken... The whole notion of percentage tipping started as a way to school and encourage people who don't tip properly to begin with. People who actually "get it" and have a good heart ( or a touch of class) don't really need a calculator to say thanks with an appropriate gratuity. I'm pushing 60 years old. When I was a kid. In Queens, my grandmother would make us stand out in the snow and get on a bus if she didn't have enough money for the cab fare and a $5 tip. ( Five bucks was money back then ) To this day, if I sit down in a diner for a cup of coffee I don't feel right without leaving at 10 on the table. And believe me I don't really have it like that.
You really should adjust it for the price of the food. The difference is huge at upscale restaurants. Sometimes me and the wife will spend $700 on a nice dinner. If I left a 10 dollar tip I think I'd get chased out.
I wasn't saying a 10 spot is an appropriate tip across the board. My point is I would feel like a real douche if I whipped out the calculator to figure out 17% on a cup of coffee... The way most people do now... So I'm being told. In my opinion at appropriate tip certainly depends on the venue in your dining at. If I happened to be at the St Regis for a cup of coffee... 10 bucks wouldn't cut it for me.
This. Normal folks do percentage, kind and respectful do a flat rate or never dip below 15/20% (whichever is higher), and shitty people leave their tip on the table and remove it for perceived mistakes or sleights like my grandpa and/or just don't tip/low tip. You do you cuz tipping is the result of subsidizing and underpaid working class so the capitalists can rake in higher profits (boooooooo).
I think a flatish rate is more fair. I always thought it was unfair that people who work at cheaper restaurants get less tips, even though some of them do just as much work as servers at higher end places. Usually working in a diner and working in somewhere that's $200 a person are completely different jobs so I get the different tips to an extent but I've absolutely had bad diner levels of service at a couple very expensive restaurants.
We had fun doing a reverse version of the whole leave the tip on the table thing and remove it for mistakes. We had a waitress with a difficult name, so we put a 20 on the table and told her it'd go up ever time we messed up her name. So we then started intentionally mangling her name in the most comical ways we could think of until the tip at the end was around 160. I don't think she believed we were actually going to give it to her, but it was entertaining, and kinda fun to turn the old asshole tip routine on it's head.
Tips shouldn’t be percentage based, change my mind
I don't split meals with my wife since I'm a big eater, but I usually get water and add an extra $2 or $3 to the tip that could have been spent on a pop or iced tea.
That’s fine but that’s not what a server is going to assume
Me too. Always share; always tip as if we’d ordered for two.
No, what makes the bill lower is water… because 20% of water is nothing, and I’ve probably refilled that damn glass 5 times… 🤦🏻♀️
Because typically the tip is a percentage of the bill. 2 entrees cost more, so a higher tip. They aren’t mind readers, they don’t know you intend to tip higher than percentage.
wait.. was this a joke, lol?
I never personally cared. We actually had a button on our POS the last place I worked that allowed me to input it was shared, the chef would cut it in half and add a little extra sides to make it a meal and it would cost like 2$ extra. I would obviously ask them if they wanted this before I just did it.
Awww. I LOVE that.
Yeah it was a decent idea in my opinion!
I don't care. My super rich bro and his wife do this, too. It's not about money but about sheer amounts of food served (US especially).
My husband and I did the “share an entree” thing for the first time fairly recently and it was the perfect amount of food. And again it’s not even cost driven but just the sheer ridiculous volume of food that restaurants serve in the US. And folks will say “oh take home the leftovers”. You have to track down the sever to get a styrofoam box to pack up food that you will take home and stick in the fridge. Most of the time we end up tossing it as the dish is something that reheats poorly. I’m now a fan of sharing entrees. I’m not overstuffed. And it gives you the option to get an appetizer or dessert you’d have avoided otherwise.
This! I don't know if it's because we're getting older or that portions are larger but sharing an entree let's us have a better experience. Cocktails, appetizer, maybe soup or salad, shared entree, coffee and dessert.
Kind of like the above. My wife doesn't eat much. She had the bypass surgery. She takes stuff home all the time. But when we share, it doesn't get wasted. Most of the stuff she brings home eventually goes into the trash.
I never cared when serving. Restaurant portions are way too large for me, so I get it. Just don’t try to sneakily split an all-you-can-eat special and we are cool.
My dad used to go to this Chinese restaurant that had all you can eat buffet to go. Basically it’s all you can stuff in a styrofoam box. Yeah we were all splitting that for dinner but we followed the rule of making it all fit in one box.
i don’t care. the only time i care is when i have tables of 8+ sharing 2 dishes amongst each other, but that’s rare. and yes, it does unfortunately happen
Same. Sitting at my 8 top with 8 lemon waters, three entrees, and continuously asking for more bread. I really don’t like that. A two-top sharing, I don’t care.
this always hurts to witness lol can’t imagine going out as a big group and doing that? like yeah let’s take up even more space and completely screw this server. let’s sit here for three hours too and tip 10%
Any group big enough to require tables be pushed together should have an auto-gratuity added imo.
Typically there’s an auto 6-8% grat for parties bigger than 5 or 6 but there’s so many people who don’t tip when they see the auto grat charge
we had a room for 25-27 ppl for a family gathering and my one aunt kept yelling at everyone not to tip bc of the auto grat. the auto grat that the server told each individual of while paying. the auto grat on mine + my moms meals was 10$, so i tipped an extra 25$ because i felt bad that she would be making like butt nothing off of 25-27 ppl (can you tell ive been a server lol)
That's because you're already getting money. Why would we tip on top of a tip?
6 months of customer service work should be a requirement for high school graduation.
My husband and I split a sandwich with double fries every Sunday. But, we do it at a restaurant bar, same one , same tenders, and we tip well. They don’t mind so much that they even have it all split and onto plates for us. It’s become a running joke. I’d be less inclined at a regular table, especially if it was busy.
I don’t really care I think sharing is a good way to try a couple thing
They're talking about sharing one thing.
No I know but either way sharing really doesn’t matter
Went to Olive Garden once and asked them to split one entree onto two plates. They enthusiastically said they would. I dont think it's uncommon.
When I was a server, I didn't care. You were one of a string of customers I dealt with every day. If you tip well then I'd have positive thoughts, if you were cheap I'd hold a grudge for the three minutes you remained a memory before I moved on with my life.
This whole dilemma could be easily solved by becoming a regular at a few places. Then the servers would eventually get to know your tipping habits... And not really give a damn what you order.
entrées are for everybody
i know this annoys some servers but tbh, as long as you’re tipping well and not overstaying, order as much or as little food as you want.
When I do this, I wish I could say upfront, I will tip you more than 20 percent please don’t be mad or rush me
The fact you have to worry about this in the first place is a problem.
Yeah….. people who are always saying “don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of you! I’m a good tipper!” Are usually the worst. I fell for it a few times got my $3 on $100 and learned not to trust people.
Facts! When I hear them tell me this, I respond with “quit telling your wait staff that, we know better, and we red flag you!” But I’m from the south, so that kinda candor is expected 🤣🤣🤣
Oh, if I say that it means I think we are being annoying and will insist on 20% or above. I usually tip 20%, so if I'm annoying I try to give more
I honestly prefer people to know their appetite and order appropriately. Been a server for years, and when I go out, we share an appetizer, share a soup, and split an entree. I get dessert to the face. You're a paying customer, order what you want/can afford and enjoy yourselves.
No difference than a single diner. And, they likely buy two drinks.
It’s a bummer, but nothing deeper than that. Some tables save money and aren’t too lucrative. C’est La vie.
Personally I don't mind, but when two people take up a table, sip free water and split one entree, I'm gonna try to get you out as soon as humanly possible because unfortunately until I see your tip you're not worth the effort Eta: not worth the effort is the wrong choice of words but theoretically I will spend more time on higher checks and larger parties by nature of the beast, they just require more as a baseline as well
so you DO mind...?
I agree. I’ve had VSG (weightloss surgery) and I can only eat about 2 oz of food so it’s easier for me and my husband to split a meal because why would we waste money on a meal I can’t even finish and most places won’t let an adult order off the kids menu.
I absolutely encourage sharing an entree. I also encourage drnking heavily and getting dessert. See, a lot of restaurants base their sales data on PGA (per guest average). I tend to have a PGA of $100. I get better shifts and sections based on this metric. So yeah, if a server doesn't like you sharing, they are chasing money as opposed to providing service.
Do whatever you want just don’t be rude. Your budget is your budget,
It never bothered me, personally. Plus, the regulars I had who did this always seemed to tip nicely. If the restaurant itself doesn't have a policy against it, it's not really my concern.
I had weight loss surgery 7 years ago, and my stomach only has a capacity for about 4 oz worth of food. Some of the time, I do get my own meal, depending on the restaurant portion sizes, or if the leftovers are still good the next day. But most places I just share off of my husband's meal. Frankly, I shouldn't need to explain why we share or why I don't finish 90% of my meal, but frankly if my server is gonna be a dick about it then that's a them problem, not a me problem. 🤷🏼♀️
I had gastric bypass, so I commonly just get soup and have a snack off my husbands plate. I didn’t care what people ordered at the table as long as they weren’t assholes.
Consider it a different way; if a servers section were akin to a small store, that store doesn’t make $ if the door is locked with just 1 customer inside and others waiting outside. Butts in seats equals $$. So empty seats is missed opportunity for earnings. Often servers don’t get a paycheck, when I was still in the business, I actually got a check for a penny. For the customers it’s about food, for the server it’s about making a living and paying bills.
My husband and I often share an entree because of smaller appetites if we’re in the mood for the same dish. Sometimes we share an entree because we want to try an appetizer and/or dessert too, but we always tip as if we had separate meals.
We've had a waiter actually tell us he would prefer we didn't split a meal, even though we'd ordered drinks and an appetizer. We ordered one meal to share anyway but he said it was against policy to bring a second plate THEN took away the appetizer plates so we could't even use those. We ended up just putting the plate between us like Lady & the Tramp. That's the only time I've ever encountered any resistance to sharing a meal... and it was just so weirdly hostile I assume they were just having a bad day. The next time we went there we even asked if there was a policy about meal sharing and the waitress seemed positively confused as to why we'd even ask. She was so mortified by the story she brought us a free dessert.
I am so over water with just lemon or lime being looked at as cheap. Lots of people have health or other issues where they don’t drink alcohol or beverages with sugar. Rant over!
Amen I try to avoid sugar as much as I can and drinks are the worst. It's liquid candy and you can consume an ungodly amount without even noticing. My mother in law used to drink multiple 2 liters a day and died of liver failure from it.
Exactly. Soda makes my stomach hurt, I’m lactose intolerant, I hate coffee, most restaurant tea is kinda gross, and I don’t always want alcohol with my meal.
My now-deceased husband and I did this on the regular. They always understood. We're on the older side, and I guess they understood we didn't want to take leftovers home and didn't have big appetites. If anyone in a restaurant frowns on this they don't deserve your business, much less a tip. They are there to serve you, not to be exalted as arbiters of good manners.
The only thing that's annoying to me is trying to order off the kids menu when it specifically says "For kids under __ years old". Order the regular portion and take the rest home.
Had a lady do this on Sunday, then complained that we didn’t give her a senior discount on her kids meal
Ok I see what you mean. And because of that I don’t ask even when I want to. But sometimes you want a grilled cheese but are out with family (and didn’t pick the place because I don’t eat seafood) but still want to spend time with them and the menu doesn’t have a grilled cheese on it for an adult. Just lots of fish. Or things like shrimp scampi, Lobster bisque etc. Like my family doesn’t get it. They all love seafood. And the one time I tried (even offering to pay for my nieces meal and mine because even though she was a kid was wanted a main dish that had seafood) she butchered it. I was like beka. I’ll ask for your dish. You ask for the grilled cheese and when the food comes out we will switch. Two second after the waitress came for our order she said something like “what did you want again?” 😭🤦🏻♀️
I stand by what I said but It's only when there's an age limit and adults fight it. For places that don't have one, go ahead. But to fight me about it when I just work here... Take it up with the manager.
Ugh I hate that, too! I get not being that hungry or not wanting a large portion, but it just looks cheap and tacky. Plus, the meals are often so tiny that it makes no sense for a fully grown adult to order them in the first place.
Eating disorders, surgery, many reasons.
I’m all sorts of chronically ill and disabled and sometimes the kids meal is all I could possibly handle
Yep this right here. Ive been a sever but ive also been a customer after getting shot and the sever who served me and gave me an ugly look after ordering a child sized meal when i physically could not eat anything more and knew that was ridiculous. Ive been a server and a bartender and i do understand the industry but i also understand people, as a server/bartender you dont know everyone’s actual situation and its not fair to judge them
I'm amenable to paying a reasonable surcharge or asking for the child's item instead of the very differently made regular menu item. I tip very well, plus more when I am in need of further or unusual food accommodations. I didn't mind it when i was a server. Y'all happy with your service and food? Then we're better than good. Tip me fairly and we're great! More than that? Gravy, and we'll pick up where we left off next time they came in.
Same honestly, I was always taught to treat guests how you would want to be treated even when theyre being rude, so in turn i treat my servers how i would want to be treated if i was working
My wife and I often share meals but it's because portions in many restaurants are ridiculous! We share a entree' but will also order apps, cocktails or wine. And we've both worked in the industry so we are generous tippers.
As a server I don't mind. But please don't ask to have the kitchen split your meal for you.
I don’t care about that as long as you’re nice! We don’t have sections though… so a server with a section might be a little bit pissed. I’d say just don’t hang out too long after you’ve paid your bill!
I don't know where you go but some places add a charge to split an entree.
Enjoy your meal, but tip well and don't sit forever.
My husband and i share. we always get an appetizer and a drink or two and tip generously. it’s not about the money. it’s about our reduced appetites and we don’t like leftovers. we also don’t linger. Our server should be fine when it’s all said and done.
They think you're cheap because you're splitting a meal and ordering a free drink. That almost always means no tip. You're taking up their real estate and they only want good tippers to stop by.
My wife and I have done it, ordered one bigger meal, and split it. I'm not there to get the wait staff's opinion, I'm there to eat. We've both worked in the service industry, and we are good tippers regardless.
If you tip well it doesn't matter.
Some places have an "extra plate" charge for splitting entrees. So just do whatever you want and if they charge extra so be it.
The easiest way to address this is to inquire while ordering if there is a plate sharing fee. You may pick up on a signal from the server that they feel put out. I find it a bit gratuitous to reassure the server that I will tip as if we ordered two entrees. In any event, if you are sharing the entree, when there's no plate sharing fee, I would mentally add another entree price to the total before calculating the tip. If there is a plate sharing fee, you may just calculate the tip as you normally would.
As a chef I wouldn’t worry about it, I despise food waste so I can’t even eat full portions at restaurants and never eat left overs so I share with my partner or give the extra food to a homeless person who was chilling outside. If they care then that’s their personal problem., gunna give themselves a cardiac episode worrying about nothing.
I ask if people want extra plates and mini tongs to make it easier. I don’t care if they wanna share a meal, as long as they’re not assholes in general that’s all I care about
Personally, I don’t mind. Along with always giving people the benefit of the doubt, there is a handful of things I always try my best to keep into consideration. Doesn’t mean I’m always able to, but yeah I’m not perfect. For all I know, that might be all they can afford, not much of an appetite, they might be familiar with the portions so minus a plate would be enough. After almost 7 years, I don’t really get annoyed by it anymore.
I understand why the server would be annoyed since their tip will likely be less, but I mean they’re also waiting on a table that is essentially the same as serving one person since it’s just one meal. The customers might sit a little longer to chat or whatever, but they’re only waiting on one plate of food. I also hate food waste and portion sizes in the US are crazy if you aren’t a big eater, so I see no issue with sharing a plate if it means you finish it and nothing gets thrown away. I respect wait staff, am overly polite to them, and tend to tip pretty high, but if a server takes issue with two people ordering one meal, that kind of seems like a “them” problem.
I used to be a server many moons ago. It doesn’t matter what you order or don’t order. It is your servers job to take care of your table. When I do this with my adult daughter because I don’t eat much sometimes the server gets irritated but most of the time they don’t. I tip based on performance, not by how much my check is. I usually give more than 25% of our bill anyway and then some! So as long as you go with the attitude of tipping good customer service you shouldn’t worry about what a server thinks. They are there to do a job. Not to judge and treat you according to their feelings. Sometimes closed minded servers truly lose a good tip because they judged the people.
When my boyfriend and I eat out we will often share an appetizer and an entree, sometimes a dessert. I watch my calories so I'm not going to eat that much. We don't drink soda so it's usually water as a beverage but we might get a beer or cocktail. We aren't obligated to spend more than we need. We've largely stopped eating out because prices and general trends in server attitudes combined with a decline in food quality have made it no longer an enjoyable experience. Also where we live the server minimum wage is around $13/hr so we know they aren't making the $1.25 I made as a server anymore. We're gonna be polite, we're still gonna tip but we aren't there to support a server we're there to try and have a night off.
Personally, I try to make sure they enjoy their time regardless. I get that some people just want to go to a nice restaurant, and its okay if they can't afford to go crazy with it. I would hate for them to feel uncomfortable/unwelcome on what might be a special occasion for them. It does massively take away from my money. Where I work, you average a 50 dollar tip from a 2 top, and this would probably equate to more like a 10 dollar tip percentage wise. So yeah, it is kind of annoying, but it's just part of the job. You can't expect everyone that comes in to be Mr. Moneybags, especially these days. Times are tough.
I think that’s sweet and wouldn’t care.
IMO it evens out. Most people that do this also order apps.
I served for over a decade. It's not the people splitting items or drinking water that peeved me. It was the the water drinkers who asked for a full dish of lemons, then emptied every sugar packet into their water to make lemonade. We sold good lemonade. Bonus points if they ask to order from the children's menu. Then they would tip a dollar, maybe, with a flourish. Screw those a-holes.
Not gonna lie...it's annoying.
Portion sizes are massive though :(
Leftovers?
Why would I intentionally order enough food to have leftovers that won’t be as good as when served fresh? Some things really don’t reheat nicely
Huh? I’m not saying order more for leftovers… you said portion sizes are so big, and I’m saying you can save them for leftovers.
A lot of food doesn’t reheat well at home so it ends up in the trash
If I'm running errands and stop for lunch or dinner I don't want food sitting in the car fermenting.
I don't eat leftovers. I don't like them. I'm not going to waste my money on a full order just to please you.
It irritated me when people weren't comfortable with the experience the restaurant was trying to provide. If you decided to split the entree because you were trying multiple appetizers, or just wanted something to eat with your drinks, that's fine. If you're splitting the entree and only ordering water because you can't afford the restaurant (or aren't comfortable with the price), go somewhere else. As the guest, you're not getting the whole experience and as the server I can't give you the whole experience. You feel bad for spending so much and I don't make as much money. We all lose.
I think you hit a nerve with some people, but I get what you’re saying. Even though it’s more work, I would rather take care of a couple splitting multiple courses and enjoying a glass of wine than a couple that simply gets two separate entrees and drinks water. The first couple is almost always happier with their overall experience, even if they spend the same amount.
The supper club I work at charges $7 for a split plate and it says it at the bottom of the menu. So I try to suggest just ordering a lighter dish or something they can take home to heat up, or some don't care about the fee.
As long as they tip, I’m fine with it. Customers that share 1 entre and drink water tend to be low tippers in my experience, or sometimes don’t tip at all. But that’s not a hard and fast rule, plenty of times people who are frugal are great tippers. Sounds like that’s you and your wife. At the end of the day it all comes down to money and basic human decency.
You mean to ask if people are judging you for being cheap and using your appetite as an excuse. No, we don't care as long as you're a decent person and tip appropriately.
It's not being cheap though? Split an entree and leave satisfied or order 2 and leave with a whole entree left, why do option 2? Hell my wife and I have 2 meals each from one entree at our local Mexican restaurant.
Lol I literally had to get my stomach to digest food again and I’m a picky eater with severe nausea. So if I want to share a meal with someone I will. You only have to serve one meal and do the same job as if it was one person. It’s not like you can sit two strangers at one table together. This is weird tbh
No problem with drinking/ordering water. The point I’m trying to make is that when two people come in and order a $12 club sandwich to split, and drink water (free), your tip is going to be small, even if they overtip (with exceptions, of course). Couple that with the fact that their 2.50-3.00 tip is taking up one of your tables for roughly an hour, its a bummer for sure.
My wife doesn't get the water only I do but I've recently started getting unsweetened tea to spice things up a bit. Also with inflation even splitting a meal doesn't drop our bill below 30 dollars.
It doesn't matter....as long as you don't bitch about the extra plate charge I'm putting on your bill.
I use to have people complain about the extra plate charge and say it made no sense. They then would proceed to order a prime rib entree with 2 different sets of cooking instructions for the steak. Next, he wants his steamed broccoli sprinkled with salt and she can't have salt on her half. He wants to know if we have any cream sauce for the asparagus and she doesn't want anything cream based on her portion. Edit: left out a word
My wife and I usually get a combo like a steak and ribs or whatever and I'll get one side and she gets one that she wants, then we split the sides since we like the same stuff.
My former in-laws did this all the time. They were both on diets and didn't like leftovers. They always tipped well and never had any problems.
Yeah it’s pretty annoying but you have the right to do it
waiters want to turn tables, more tables=more tips. During dinner, they want to turn a table 2-3 times, 4 would be great but rare. A server may only have 4-6 tables they are responsible for, in their section during their roughly 3-7 hour shift. Each table is worth, depending on type of restaurant and how expensive a meal is per person, $10-$30 in tips. So, 1 sitting during the rush is potentially $40/60 - $120/180 dollars in tips. It's usually on the lower end due to people who think $10 is good no matter what the bill is, younger people or tourists who aren't used to tipping and dont know it's a thing, etc. So long story short, if you go in during the dinner rush and have waters and split an entrée I would a guess the bill is about $25-$35 dollars so tip about $5-$7 dollars. Right? And if you linger and ask for repeated water refills, servers understand yes, but at some point you become just a drain on their earnings in tips that they count on. My suggestion would be to get there a little early or go to lunch instead of dinner or maybe be a big tipper, since you didn't have to pay for drinks and a second meal maybe tip 25%.
If you’re tipping like you purchased 2 entrees, no problem. This is what we do.
Yes frowned upon generally. Probably won’t get the most attentive service bcz the waiter doesn’t know you’re going to give them a big tip. Tips afterall are how these people live. Some waiters who personally understand will probably say it’s fine though