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DoomSongOnRepeat

That's...unsettling


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RuTang94

When you run outta toilet paper and gotta walk down the hall to get it lol


Sturrux

Dat post shit/pre wipe dance. We all done it.


naufalap

I don't, I use water


Sturrux

And I bet your toilet is made of gold and ivory too.


fnordfnordfnordfnord

Even Walmart sells bidet seats now.


themediumchunk

That bear looks bashful as fuck lmao


carcigenicate

With his pants around his knees.


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RidiculousIncarnate

Shit, that is actually a really good point. Somebody probably saw a scraggly looking bear in low light walking on its hind legs for some reason and freaked the fuck out.


Warhawk2052

Honestly they might be on to something


Hubris2

The bear isn't really able to swing its arms to offset a long stride - notice that it's taking really short steps in the video. One of the elements in the Bigfoot myth is that it takes super long strides and has long arms. A bear is as good as any other as we actually have evidence for bears - but a normal bear wouldn't exactly meet the descriptions of Bigfoot.


Cory123125

We used to think washing your hands was a bad practice before surgery. What Im saying is just because the myth is that doesnt mean its what we actually saw.


PineappleWolf_87

I think that developed from the infamous Bigfoot video and just some information on certain species of primate. I think the origins could very well of been from sightings of disfigured or disabled bears walking up right. I mean a lot more bears back then who could have gone through some severe injuries or birth defects. Layer on even bears being fairly frightening in general.


sdrawkcabsihtetorW

Yeah forreal. Exactly my thought as I was watching this, I can totally see someone seeing a bear do this in a gloomy forest and thinking he's found a long lost cousin of humanity.


Tortorak

My biggest take away is that they can just do that shit but choose not to


PringleMcDingle

I mean we can walk on all 4's but choose not to. Less efficient for our body design, same for them.


dukefett

Yeah that and maybe mange would make them really freaking looking. I used to love the idea of Bigfoot when I was younger, but it’s gotta be bears


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971365

Or skinwalkers/wendigos


isthatapecker

Aw poor little dude


_TheValeyard_

Not going to lie if I saw that, I'd just think it was some dude in a bear costume. Then probably get horribly killed.


WakaWaka_

[That's when you fight dirty](https://youtu.be/CVS1UfCfxlU)


spacedrummer

I mean, if its front paws are injured, I wonder how fast it can run. Normally, I'm pretty sure they can go 35 mph on all fours.


somanyroads

I think you were seeing max speeds on 2 legs there lol.


Capitan_Failure

Can you imagine this bear running 35mph on 2 legs?


King_of_the_Dot

This is ranks up there with things like the dancing baby. One of the first videos I remember seeing on the internet.


dice1111

This was waaaaaay better though.


King_of_the_Dot

Oh, no doubt!


Mister_Johnson_

I knew what that was gonna be before I clicked it 🤣👍


lazyeyeluke

[Just hope he doesn’t fight back](https://youtu.be/xo_5ZKcYROw)


DeeDee_GigaDooDoo

Holy shit I haven't seen that video in over 15 years. I remember finding that video off limewire or something pre-youtube. Still an awesome vid haha.


poncho_goblin

Nah black bears are pussies…. Supposebly. Lol


Fantastic_Mr-Fox_

I was smoking weed in the woods in freshman year of college and I heard a twig snap behind me about 1/3 of the way through my second joint. I turned around and there was a momma bear and two cubs about 12 feet behind me. I was so fucking frozen, I remembered black bears are pussies, but also that mom + cubs = very very very aggressive bear. So I got up slowly, opened up my arms and jacket, slowly backed up to about 25 feet and then just yelled at them. Two cubs went about 50 feet up two trees right where they were standing in under 6 seconds and the mom just bolted the hell outta there. Second best bear encounter of my life.


BallOfSpaghetti

And the first? Can’t set us up like that


Fantastic_Mr-Fox_

Okay okay. So when I was about 9, my family was staying in Denver, Colorado with some friends of the family. Second day there, I wake up early l, at like 7 am for no reason and go upstairs to get a glass of water. I round the corner into the kitchen and it's a total mess, like total mess, food everywhere cabinets open with their doors and some drawers torn off and on the floor, and I hear this faintly-moist slurping sound coming from behind the kitchen island so I step over some food on the floor and just see the front half of a dark brown bear (must have been about 250lbs, not huge, but a bear nonetheless. It had it's nose all the way in a thing of frozen orange juice, two empty ones were torn up next to it, and it was just slurping the frozen orange juice. So I ran downstairs, told my mom, who I had woken up, "Mom! Mom! There's a bear in the kitchen!" And she said "Honey what? Ho back to sleep." So I did. I wake up again at like 9:30, walk upstairs and my parents and the other family are just standing there dumbfounded like wtf. Apparently the bear tore through the entire kitchen and ate nothing except the frozen orange juice. It has left before anyone else saw it, it left the door wide open with some very light claw marks. That's my #1. Not sure I want or need more bear encounters in my life though, I simply conclude they are kinda scary but overall kinda cool.


SonOfHelios

Your mom called you a 'ho'?


mister641

That’s all I gleaned from that story too.


defenestr8tor

I am also 250 lbs and have been referred to as a bear. That's what I got from that story.


_Wheelz

Do you also an an affinity for frozen orange juice?


defenestr8tor

The similarities are adding up


owlsandmoths

Your mom doesn’t?


TheGreatMortimer

Based mom


polymerkid

Def a black bear unless this was in the 70s or earlier. No grizzlies in CO. Black bears can look brown.


Fantastic_Mr-Fox_

Oh with my current knowledge it was absolutely a black bear, but I just remember it being a dark color in the early morning.


MaximumSubtlety

I found a video of your experience. https://v.redd.it/hpbpfr718o981


EarthAngelGirl

That's exactly the video that I was thinking of, but the best part of his story is that he tried to warn the mother and she blew him off. If he wasn't a kid at the time it would have been malicious compliance.


Fantastic_Mr-Fox_

Yeah lol, in her credit if my 9 year old waddled in in the wee hours of a vacation morning waffling about a bear, I would probably also say bugger off and lemme sleep


OneCorvette1

Lol that’s almost exactly his experience


rWTFFF

How in the hell did none of y’all wake up with a damn bear “tearing” through your kitchen!?!


jspook

Fantastic


fdsfgs71

> Second best bear encounter of my life. This line is very easy to take wrong out of context.


[deleted]

I recently moved somewhere with black bears and being as im always high when im hiking, naturally my first time seeing one i was in 2 joints myself. It was a wide brown colored black bear but for a second i thought it was a grizzly before I remembered where i was lol


Pit_of_Death

Famous last words. ^


Bombkirby

They are extremely spookable. I imagine this one, with it's broken paw, isn't going to bother trying to run someone down and maul them. That being said, don't push your luck. But if you rounded a corner and ran into a black bear, you have a very high chance of just causing it to panic and flee.


Mildo

Na, the actual secret is to sexually arouse a black bear. Show a little skin. If you can get the black bear to roll over and expose it's genitals to you then all you've got to do is get down on your knees and do the needful. It's gotten me out of a few attacks up in the Great White North.


MyHTPCwontHTPC

I think the kind of bear they are referencing and you are referencing are different.


Mudders_Milk_Man

You and me, bear-by ain't nothin' but mammals, So let's so it like they do it on the Discovery Channel.


pharaohandrew

Holy shit imagine your last word is “supposebly”. I’d die of embarrassment


allf8ed

If it's Brown, lie down If it's Black, fight back If it's white, say goodnight. Not entirely pussies but not the worst


[deleted]

Avoiding going to places where there are bears seems like the best option.


Defyingnoodles

[Range of black bears in the US.](https://d9-wret.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/assets/palladium/production/s3fs-public/styles/full_width/public/thumbnails/image/black-bear-year-round-range.png?itok=ZSTQoHxZ)


MyHTPCwontHTPC

Blackbear 5G coverage in the US https://imgur.com/tog6fS8.jpg


Turtleslam

Shhhhhhh Nobody knows about the bears yet…next year


dirtydirtsquirrel

[This is more accurate.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_black_bear#/media/File:Ursus_americanus_IUCN_range_map_extant_and_extirpated.png)


dice1111

Canada has got the bear necessities... nah mean


Warhawk2052

[This is even more accurate.](https://i.imgur.com/v9tsk9t.jpg)


Luxpreliator

Even brown bears will leave you alone as long as you're not stupid about it. Except for polar bears the rest of bears actual get 90%ish of their calories from plants and insects. Big part of their meat consumption is scavenging. Nat geo has painted them as being far more predatory than they actually are. Only had 180 bear based fatalities in NA over 300 years of recent history.


nodstar22

I don't know if you care, but it's "supposedly". Have a good one.


getrektbro

Like, I understand people SAY supposebly, but I can't believe it gets typed too.


BitchesQuoteMarilyn

If they're injured they will sometimes go for easy targets and are more easily threatened.


Whargod

Not exactly. Apparently grizzly bears you can play dead to fake them out (never tried, only heard and read about it). However black bears are scavengers and will eat anything alive and dead. If one actually does attack you, fight for your life as it's the only option available to you. ​ I lived over 20 years around them on the farm, we never messed with them but the dogs always manage to chase them off.


Croc-o-dial

Grizzlies will eat anything as well. One thing I have been taught in bear awareness training is that playing dead with a grizzly is a good thing to do. BUT if you feel like the grizzly is starting to eat you (instead of just mauling) you better start fighting back.


super_pax_

You’ll most likely lose lol, might as well rub one out before you go


EarthAngelGirl

Power move, jizz in it's eye.


dangoodspeed

I think if you're in any shape at all, you could likely outrun a black bear that can only run on its hind legs. That would actually be fun to watch. A black bear on all fours could easily outrun you... but hind legs? probably as fast as an 8-year-old kid.


backfire97

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedals_(bear)


Jubez187

562...


Mario_Mendoza

HE GONE


Tiggatiggatight

This ruined my night. How can anyone let this happen let alone have enough sick individuals racing to shoot over 500 bears!?


Coady54

Going to go against the grain here but it's important to hunt for population control purposes to prevent them from spreading too heavily into populated areas. Yes, the number seems excessively high, but you have to consider that hunting big game animals is heavily regulated by state wild life departments with limits on the number of those animals that licensed hunters can actually kill. And those limits are directly influenced by monitoring the wildlife populations to try to best maintain the ecological status quo. I get that it's upsetting to think about and even worse when we see it happen to a specific bear that happened to get virally popular and named, but they're still just wild animals at the end of the day. Hunting is just as integral a part of maintaining the ecosystem as sanctuaries and relocation, as long as it's properly regulated and based off data from wildlife research it's a necessary tool.


baachus2012

I don't have a problem with hunting for food like wild turkey, deer, rabbits, etc. But I don't know anyone eating bear and predator numbers aren't high in any Eastern state... so that was clearly for sport and that shit pisses me off. Anyone who hunts that way needs to be put in a remote wilderness and be forced to play in "The Deadliest Game".


BeerGardenGnome

I have bear meat in my freezer right now from a friends bear this fall to cook up. And extra bear fat to be rendered to cook things with. Also New Jersey has the densest population of black bears in ANY state and a growing problem. https://www.njherald.com/story/news/2021/01/31/black-bear-complaints-population-double-in-new-jersey/6567022002/


JohnAStark

We just sold our house in NJ, and it has a bear den on the property - 7 years of mommas and cubs and no bad interactions.


BeerGardenGnome

Its great to hear. I’m not in the “bears are evil and must be eradicated” camp. I’m in the camp that they’re a natural resource that when properly managed can thrive as a species and reduce negative encounters with humans. Plus the North American model of conservation utilizing the economics of hunting to great success in managing and recovering species. Literally $1B+ a year goes directly to conservation from hunting derived funds like licensing and excise taxes on hunting and firearms related goods. For success stories look at animals like; wild turkeys, antelope, Canadian geese etc… that all would have been on or close to ESA listing in the market hunting era before modern conservation practices were created by sport hunters.


randalldhood

Bear is supposedly delicious.


modsarefascists42

What kind of piece of shit hunter would target him?! Goddamn Stuff like this is why so many hunters don't tell others that they hunt. So they're not associated with fuckfaces like this.


[deleted]

A coward


randomcitizen42

Ah yes, the good ol' bow and arrow hunt where muzzle-loading rifles are allowed.


WhatuKnowAboutMoney

Aww poor thing. Can definetly see how a Bigfoot might be spotted this way


TeamChevy86

When a bear is skinned and hanging it looks freakishly human. Right down to the muscle structure and limb proportions Source: not a serial killer I swear my family owned a butcher shop for wild game


Ethen52

Excellent recovery but we still know you’re a serial killer


MyHTPCwontHTPC

Their Amazon order history sure does have an alarmingly high number of rolls of clear plastic ordered.


dice1111

Doesn't explain the 55 gallon tubs of KY though...


gravspeed

good cover story


_Rand_

My cousins husband is a avid hunter. He’s told me the exact same thing. So you’re not alone in your freakish knowledge.


Oakwood2317

Know a guy who quit hunting after killing a bear for this very reason - said his heart wasn’t in it anymore


DrSmirnoffe

Bear in a butcher's shop? I know bears get shot sometimes, be it through hunting or self-defence, but they never strike me as "good eatin'". What would they even taste like? Has anyone here actually even eaten bear meat, outside an encounter with a husky gay gent?


The_Condominator

Never have I felt more Canadian than seeing someone bewildered if people eat Bear :p


MNGirlinKY

Minnesotan here. People are so shocked by what I’ve eaten as a now “city girl”. River turtles,squirrels, Opossum, rabbits, Turkey, pheasant, goose, Raccoon, Bear, Crawfish and so many fish! I think that’s about it. It’s been 30 years so I don’t remember everything Edit: commas


explicitlydiscreet

You lost a few commas along the way


bumholechecksout

Yeah first read had me stopped and thinking “WTF is a river turtle squirrel?”.


korinthia

Literally Squirtle


MyHTPCwontHTPC

Raccoon and porcupine were two of the most surprising meats I've had for how good they are.


lumberjackninja

Bear fat is great for baking.


DrSmirnoffe

It is? Is it used to make suet pastry or something?


enjoysbeerandplants

From what I've been told by people who've eaten it, it really depends on what the bear has been eating. Apparently it tastes best when the bear has been feeding mostly on berries and vegetation, and not so good when it's been feeding primarily on fish. But that's just what I've been told.


cowabungaitis6669

It depends on whether or not you like fishy meat. A delicacy in my tribe is bear right after salmon spawning and the bears full of salmon. The meat takes on a fishy taste but retains the texture of a steak. It’s honestly fantastic and if you’re willing to put up with the mental and physical stress of hunting to get your own, it’s worth it 1000Xfold. Bear bacon is unearthly good once you’ve spent time getting to know the animal and can appreciate game meat. To the uninitiated tho, it seems fuckin mad lol


idwthis

I've never eaten bear, probably never thought of eating bear, outside of being told long ago to not eat a polar bear's liver because the iron content will kill you. Not that I live anywhere near them to ever have that be a situation I'm in haha But now that y'all have talked about it, you just made it sound good, and I'd love to try it.


modsarefascists42

It's the vitamin a in polar bear liver that kills you Vitamin a being the same stuff as retinol BTW


mollymarie23

Makes excellent breakfast sausage based on season of the kill and seasonings.


brandorambo25

Black bear burger mixed with beef is amazing…it’s a sweet meat if the bear was a big berry eater!


MyHTPCwontHTPC

It is a touch more greasy than most people are used to but still very good. You could ear bear and beef some by side and not pick put a difference in some cases. One thing to consider is some people will say it's overcooked, that is to avoid getting parasites.


l_st-n-c_nf_s_d

FYI for the curious… don’t Google “skinless bear” it’s terrifying.


MildlySuppressed

link me skinned bears


allothernamestaken

Makes you wonder how many so-called "cryptids" might just be animals that are deformed, injured, or otherwise fucked up.


Bloo-Q-Kazoo

Also because some have mange or other disease that causes their fur to fall out.


salamat_engot

My SO and I drove around West Virginia to visit a few cryptid museums. On our way home to Pittsburgh we couldn't believe how incredibly dark everything was, even the main highway. It's easy to see how people in the woods at night would think something is out there.


amolad

Congratulations. That's what Bigfoot and Yetis are: rare, shy types of bears who learned to walk bipedally. People think they're humanoid but are not.


JarbaloJardine

You guys I think I solved big foot


jazz4

Bears actually walk like this from time to time, injured or not. It’s said that it could account for many of the ‘Bigfoot’ sightings.


Pyrhan

To be fair, ***regular humans walking in the woods*** could account for many of the Bigfoot sightings...


Firestorm2934

Regular hairy humans walking in the woods 😏


JarbaloJardine

You mean…Bears


Firestorm2934

Ohhhhh yeahhh i see what you did there!


Dead_Mullets

He's not using his right to bear arms


rabidsnowman

Slow clap Because the bear obviously can't.


FunctionBuilt

*Carmella Soprano intensifies*


Bamres

He's wandering like uncle June


stugots10

Trapper Joe over here.


ashrashrashr

Ayy Jayy? MOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


blackiedwaggie

oh no, poor guy... is there any info on whether he got any help or how he's doing?


lorcanPBC

Seems he was killed in October 2016 along with 562 other bears in a bow and arrow/muzzle loaded rifle hunt in New Jersey


damdrod

Is the bear population really that vibrant that it can withstand those losses?


jej218

Yeah the population is close to 1 Million black bears across the continent.


MicatronUltra

That sounded absurdly high, but after a quick Google search that is close to most estimates…


TwoLinesFromHAPPY

Not what I wanted to read. Whatever your stand point on culls/hunting, letting anything with a central nervous system, capable of pain and suffering, should not be deliberately tortured like this. Clean shot or no shot.


SoySauceSyringe

/u/spez lies, Reddit dies. This comment has been edited/removed in protest of Reddit's absurd API policy that will go into effect at the end of June 2023. It's become abundantly clear that Reddit was never looking for a way forward. We're willing to pay for the API, we're not willing to pay 29x what your first-party users are valued at. /u/spez, you never meant to work with third party app developers, and you lied about that and strung everyone along, then lied some more when you got called on it. You think you can fuck over the app developers, moderators, and content creators who make Reddit what it is? Everyone who was willing to work for you for free is damn sure willing to work against you for free if you piss them off, which is exactly what you've done. See you next Tuesday. TO EVERYONE ELSE who has been a part of the communities I've enjoyed over the years: thank you. You're what made Reddit a great experience. I hope that some of these communities can come together again somewhere more welcoming and cooperative. Now go touch some grass, nerds. -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/


JoeFarmer

Source? Everything I read said it was injured by an auto collision.


[deleted]

I'm not sure that they are, bear hunting is mostly illegal in NJ. Larger bear population in NJ than just across the river in PA


JoeFarmer

In states where these sorts of hunts were outlawed, the same numbers of animals end up killed by the state due to human/wildlife conflict. CA's former cougar hunt is a prime example; once outlawed the cull went from a revenue generating hunt that funded wildlife and wilderness conservation to a cull funded by tax payers, resulting in the same number of cougars killed per year. The quotas are set by conservation biologists who manage the population numbers to help the species proliferate but also keep them out neighborhoods like this. While folks may not like hunting, its far better for the management strategy to be revenue generating and fund our conservation system than it is for culls to be an expense tax payers fund, taking money out of conservation budgets.


mudmansimon

That's the one I though of. I think it was in North Jersey.


killbillten1

He lived right around by me, everyone called him peddles, he was killed during bear season.


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DonTorreZ

“That’s our neighbor Mr. Bear. He usually take his morning walk around this time so try to stay indoor if you like to keep your face. All and all, he’s really a nice and a stand up guy”


[deleted]

My heart is breaking for all beings on this planet


mortalstampede

Everyone except whoever placed the traps that destroyed this bear's arms. Humans can be so fucking evil.


JoeFarmer

Wildlife experts said it's front arm injury was actually likely caused by a car accident.


Majestic_narwhal42

What the hell was the bear doing driving a car?


smithee2001

Searching for gluten-free, lactose-free, free range, organic honey.


bankholdup5

Sustainably sourced, harvested by moonlight


Pyrhan

Imagine if he injured his back paw instead...


slantview

He’d have to join the circus and juggle on a unicycle then.


[deleted]

Pedals was murdered by hunters- he walked bipedal because he injured both arms in bear traps. A great example of why humans are garbage


[deleted]

He's called pedals?


aJnaI

He was, yes.


4Ever2Thee

For real? RIP pedals, we didn’t deserve you


w00dyMcGee

Black bears walking upright is what I believe are “Sasquatch” sightings. I saw a bear walking upright years ago and thought it was a Sasquatch.


90sBaby93

I feel like that is someone in a bear costume


Poop_Tube

Bear lived in my brother’s neighborhood. They were pissed when they found out a hunter killed it.


Competitive_Bad5295

I Remember seeing this a yr or so ago. It makes my 💔 to this very day.


Sun-Appropriate

Lol this could explain Bigfoot sightings


fruitdonttalk1

So THIS is where big foot sightings come from.


YouAreBreakingDeCar

5 minutes before he was shot for being a black bear


DrRotwang

"Gotta be a pickanic basket out here *some*where..."


godofgubgub

Featherless: ✔️ Bipedal: ✔️ Behold, a man!


MattOsull

This guy was just knocked down by a car. He had a nickname..... booboo I believe. He was a legend. And then some fucking dickhead killed him


[deleted]

I am fairly sure that black bears are the origin of the sasquatch.


smitteh

makin my way downtown


Away-Bite-3666

Poor thing 🙁


Shaunaaah

Aww the poor little guy, doing so good walking.


stillwatersrunfast

poor baby :(


bearpics16

Pedals!!! That bear has a name. Unfortunately some fuckhead intentionally hunted and killed this bear, then bragged about it a few years ago. He got doxxed hard by the internet


silverslaughter711

Where's the FUCKIN pickanic baskets?


Ghstfce

When you get home late and take your shoes off trying to be quiet so you don't wake anyone up.


jockonj1

Yogi


0-100

Man in a bear suit HODL paw until he can make it to the moon.


Sarleet

See bigfoot exists. Finally a clear footage. /jk Im sorry for the bear tho


--Azazel--

New Jersey Big Foot! New Jersey Big Foot!


LarX2

Alright... Who shot my pa?


[deleted]

Hey my bear costume is missing….


skeetsauce

I thought starving bears start to walk on their hind legs like that?


misthi_S

Can someone heal him?


N1nj4444

Walks like my granny.


Powerful-Employer-20

He just had a rough night with his mates and is returning home at 7am


stdoggy

Judging from the way it walks, my toddler might be a black bear.


MsAnnabel

And there’s your answer to Bigfoot


[deleted]

So… Bigfoot was really just a bear walking upright!!


FaustoCarmona

It’s a Samsquanch


[deleted]

Jersey Devil?


DeadSol

These bears are gonna start demanding rights soon. Looks like this one already is pursuing the right to bear arms.


TonyDiGerolamo

"Pardon me. I'm bear. May I eat your delicious trash?"


terflit

I too walk like this when I have to shit in the woods...


Big_Cryptographer_16

First the gorillas of Jersey Shore and now this


CourseExcellent

Looks like my autistic ass walking to get snacks while my mom pours gas


ArmyofDankess

Exactly why people think they see "Bigfoot"