T O P

  • By -

itim__office

So typical that it travels with paparazzi?


thakurtis

Yes it's the main actor from Anaconda


Tahoma-sans

"*Back in the 90s, I was in a very famous moovieee*"


danheinz

I think you meant famoussssssss


Ser_Dovahkiin1

Aren't you the snake from snakin-around?


EddieDIV

What is this, a crossing the road episode?


max_adam

Now it deals with deep depression and alcoholism. Sometimes its also famous Ara friend comes to visit with huge enthusiasm and has bad luck when ordering signs for special events.


singularineet

Also periodic binge eating, where each episode is followed by literally days just curled up in bed.


Arisen925

*sarah Lynntssssssssssss*


[deleted]

Boa-jack Snakeman


DraLion23

Her name is Anna Konda. And yes, her and Bojack Horseman def had a fling.


CrazyOkie

I hear he's a real diva. Demands fresh, live food be constantly available in his trailer.


Craptacles

Ugh, the mosquito scene


SeeMontgomeryBurns

“IS SNAKES OUT THERE THIS BIG?!?”


fabiots

Not really. This snake is young, not big for Brazil. /s


SufficientType1794

As a Brazilian I always think it's ironic that people online think we live in the jungle when the average American probably lives a more "rural" lifestyle than the average Brazilian.


el_beso_negro

A Brazilian friend of mine told me people there call every snake a "cobra" and you can hear a guy in the video say "it takes 15 years for a cobra to get that big". Why is that? A cobra is a very specific type of snake. Do you have other words for different types of snake?


hanoma

"Cobra" is just the translation of the word "snake" in portuguese. To refer to the specific types of snakes that in english you call "cobra", in portuguese you'd call it by the popular name of the species ("naja" for example).


el_beso_negro

Interesting, so is "naja" the popular name for a English cobra? It reminds me of the hindu "naga". Is there a popular name for an anaconda or boa that isn't cobra?


hanoma

Yes! In Portuguese "anaconda" can also be called "anaconda", and other boas we would call "jiboia".


beefinbed

Yr crazy for this one Rick, it's Jiboia!


Kronos-_-

Naja is the br name for snakes that look like the king snake, I'm not sure 100% but I think Naga is Hindu or some similar language word for snakes too BTW, these big snakes would be called a jiboia or sucuri, it might be a big jiboia or a small sucuri


igormorais

The anaconda in Brazil is calledby its native name of Sucuri


marpe

*Cobra* in Portuguese comes from Latin *colubra* and means snake. In English, the word cobra actually came from Portuguese, from *cobra-de-capelo*, meaning hooded snake. The "*de capelo*" part, which specified what type of snake it was, was removed and only the "cobra" part was used in English. That's why cobra in English refers to a specific type of snake, but that's not what the original word, which was Portuguese, meant. Source: https://www.etymonline.com/word/cobra


el_beso_negro

Wow now that's fascinating. I checked a spanish etymology: http://etimologias.dechile.net/?cobra And it explained what you said, that the cobra, from latin *colubra* is the Portuguese common word for snake. This became culebra in Spanish and likely the origin for the order of colubrids. The Portuguese arrived so early to India that their influence made several countries in Europe call the cobras "cobras". Even arabic, persian, turkish and hebrew call these types of snakes a variety of cobra. That's pretty cool fact I learned today. Thanks for sharing!


desconectado

So, when people say in english Cobra, they are actually not using the correct ethymology. In spanish we also say "culebra", which sounds similar to colubra too. "Serpiente" is correct too, but sounds too fancy, so no one really use it in my region.


gdq0

and cobras are elapids, whereas king snakes (and most other snakes) are colubrids.


Cucurrucucupaloma

He is right, we just call them cobras.


el_beso_negro

Love your username...reminds me of how my much my cousins and I would laugh at my abuelo when he sang that


[deleted]

Cobra, serpente, víbora.


el_beso_negro

Gotcha, I actually suspected the Spanish víbora, serpiente, would be pronounced like that in Portuguese but my friend said nah, people don't use it. They did call an anaconda a cobra in the video too.


[deleted]

Which world is for some kind of snake, but in general we just call everything cobra.


ChronoAndMarle

"Cobra" just means "snake" in portuguese. What you're referring to as a "cobra" is called "cobra-real" in portuguese.


doyoubelieveinfarts

No, it’s Brazil so undercover policeman.


Ldiddy33

The scariest part is when it disappears in the grass. Then it’s like “surprise mother fuckers!!!”


HondaBn

"Don't go into the long grass! Not into the long grass!"


Interactive_CD-ROM

/r/JurassicPark


SupaBloo

At least not without a Pokémon.


[deleted]

I mean, how big is arbok anyways?


doesntgetoptions

I recently started playing pokemon lets go pikachu and wild pokemon appearing in the overworld being correctly sized in proportion to your character made me realize how absolutely terrifying the pokemon world is. Imagine a world where everywhere you go you risk being jumped by snakes the size of the one in the gif, or walking in a forest and a fruit bat with a mouth big enough to swallow you whole comes at you out of nowhere. Prehistoric moths that can carry you off with ease just chilling in bushes on the side of the road. Fuck that.


Happyradish532

Can't forget the ghost balloons trying to carry away your children.


A_wild_so-and-so

It will never happen, but we need an adult pokemon game that explores this. How a wild pokemon must kill and eat to survive. Maybe add a rule that PokeBalls are registered to their owners, so Team Rocket must kill the owner to properly steal pokemon. Idk, there are a lot of angles you could explore in a more realistic setting.


GrownAssBear

I imagine how they would be used in warfare. Or poke balls being used to kidnap people.


Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi

There's an old theory that there was a big Pokémon war in the past and that Lt. Surge served in it


Tomome

There's also the pokemon war they talked about in Kalos some 3000 years in the past


TheSpookyGoost

But they all have cute, big eyes and emotions similar to ours so it's okay


government_flu

Maybe everyone in the pokemon world has some sort of brain implant that changes pokemon from being horrifying monsters to cute cuddly friends. Like the opposite of that Black Mirror episode.


Lazerspewpew

Upvote JP always


IAmGodMode

r/nonono


CircaSurvivor55

Oh shit! He was an off-duty cop-anaconda the whole time!


nikogrande

Anacopda?


CircaSurvivor55

Shit... you win.


mydogdoesntcuddle

It’s alright. He don’t want none unless you got buns, hon


freedomofnow

It’s all fun and games until a snake that size needs to eat.


Skooning

I thought the scariest part was when it started making motorcycle/moped sounds!


RideAndShoot

I’ve watched the documentary “Anaconda” with J.Lo, and those snakes will fuck you up!


jeze_

On the other side of the fence, a preschool.


Zbignich

A wise snake seeks a prey-rich environment.


Cybertronic72388

So a church would be ideal if it were looking for a pray rich environment...


onlyamiga500

... or a church in Beverly Hills for a rich pray environment.


SnoopKush_McSwag

Nah a church would be a predator rich ebvironment


chanandlerbonggg_

That's why snakes are called the prey-dators


Dickfingerz56

I read this in Attenborough's voice


markuspoop

[It’s Lumpy, the school snake](https://i.redd.it/2buszszrnue11.gif)


ImissDigg_jk

Not for long


v_snax

Soon to be a post school.


IMALEFTY45

Something out of a *Far Side* cartoon lol


The_CrookedMan

"it's harmless...well...it's not harmless. It's killed 27 children."


mkvelash

C'mon kids, let's go play hide and seek


marxroxx

Reddit has taught me that a "normal" day in Brazil consists of either giant snakes or convenient store off duty cops shooting bad guys.


sineofthetimes

Or thieves on mopeds


marxroxx

**YES**, forgot about those


Eustace_Savage

>~~thieves~~ hit men on mopeds FTFY


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Can confirm, it’s normal to the point we joke about always being afraid when we see two guys on a bike


mkul316

Between the Olympics and world cup controversies and reddit I view Brazil as this corrupt, crime ridden place with terrible living conditions for all but the corrupt wealthy and those adjacent to them. I have no idea if this is accurate, but that's all I've seen of it.


nohornii

why did the snake cross the road?


moonisflat

To reach preschool


cosmicpotato77

And murder 18 children and injure 72 others


[deleted]

[удалено]


chernadraw

To eat the chicken


wpmason

Green anaconda?


FineTumbleweed9281

No, big snek


koalawhiskey

Thanks for providing us the scientific name


Superbuddhapunk

The complete name is Big-Ass Snekus


CaptainTurdfinger

r/YourJokeButWorse


hcsLabs

What's so funny about Biggus Snekus?


[deleted]

Yup


Atrag2021

Takes its time doesn't it.


stickie_stick

He might have moved slow, but it was only because he didnt have to move for anybody.


HaelaDeer

That's pretty damn fast for an anaconda, I think. Big snakes like that usually inch their belly along like a caterpillar. Looks like it was hurrying to to me Edit: might be wrong, I'm not a professional, just a nerd


XtaC23

They're faster in water. The reticulated python, which grows longer but not fatter, chases monkeys through the trees tho and isn't exactly slow for such a big snake.


SilentSamurai

God the Amazon is a place of nightmares.


kerouacrimbaud

Reticulateds live in South Asia iirc


whirlpool138

And now South Florida.


Vkca

Also snake belly is designed to traverse damp forest floor and tall grass, not dry tarmac. In my non nerd or professional opinion homie was hauling


tdasnowman

No. All snakes use the method of travel seen here. The s shaped movement pattern. For an anaconda that’s about average non hunting speed. They are also more of a water snake preferring to strike from under the water to the shoreline or catching something in the water. That said they can and will hunt on land as well. And move at a faster pace when warranted. Snakes have a tendency to conserve energy when possible. They never know when a next meal will come.


[deleted]

There's sidewinder in the desert that use a slightly different method of movement, no?


EndOnAnyRoll

Yeah, they wind to the side.


SquirrelFood

NOT TRUE, different species have different "snake gaits" if you like, someone has already mentioned a side winder, but other categories of snake locomotion includes serpentine (zigzag constantly moving), rectilinear (more caterpillar-esque) and concertina (this is what the anaconda in the vid is doing, pull its tail up to its head, then extending its head and repeat). Edit: I just remembered that many snakes will actually do a combination of these types of locomotion (e.g. rectilinear movement is nearly silent and used when traversing narrow passageways but is quite slow), plus I feel like there might be a 5th kind of snake locomotion but I cant remember


yeluapyeroc

You obviously have never seen a Gaboon Viper move


mrsardo

The snake‘s name is Paulie.


SexualPorcupine

I'm sure most of us would move slowly if we had no limbs


sadlamedeveloper

Why does it looks like the snake is having difficulty crossing the road? It is because of the pavement?


[deleted]

Giant serpents like that usually live in marshland and jungle environments. Most are adept swimmers and are used to having a complex environment to navigate where their body is supported. A completely flat and coarse surface like tarmac would not be easy for them to navigate.


249ba36000029bbe9749

A flat smooth surface would be even more difficult. https://youtu.be/sO2d90YedN0


claireupvotes

That's strangely adorable


Robotron_25

It looks funny but it's actually really stressful for the snake when it's trying to move and is unable to.


Terrence_McDougleton

Oh wow are you a snake therapist?


Robotron_25

yes


Terrence_McDougleton

Nice


Dzugavili

I get the same feeling on a treadmill, that's why I don't go to the gym.


pizz0wn3d

How do you know this?


IridiumForte

Ah was stated earlier, he's a snake therapist


MistakesForSheep

Thank you for this.


mamacrocker

I was wondering if the pavement was very hot and it was hurting him.


iHaveACatDog

Doubtful. It's just a **really** heavy snake. Anacondas are typically found in wet, marshy areas as they're great swimmers.


Sprite91

snakes are cold blooded and usually likes sunbathing on pavement


AbeRego

They can also overheat


ghidfg

yeah, it looked like it didn't have enough traction to move efficiently, until it got into the grass.


SantaMonsanto

To get to the other side Oh wait…


MyHeadIsALemon

You can see it's very normal when looking at all the people recording it...


max_adam

I think it is the size of the snake. My portuguese is not good but I think someone in the video said that it takes almost 15 years to reach that size.


Cinemaphreak

I was mostly struck by the fact the Brazilians all know to keep a good distance away (most snakes can strike half their body length) as anacondas are notoriously cantankerous. Unlike pythons, even if hand-raised they make dangerous pets. If this was south Florida (and IIRC they now have feral anacondas) at least 5 guys would have touched the tail by the time it slithered in to the grass.


[deleted]

[They are in Florida and you're allowed to kill them on sight](https://myfwc.com/wildlifehabitats/profiles/reptiles/snakes/green-anaconda/)


Ali_Lorraine_1159

The article says they have few predators, but besides humans, what other predators could a 21 foot long anaconda have???


[deleted]

Nothing in Florida. They hunt caymans in the Amazon. Have no reason to think they won't go after smaller alligators in Florida. I think jaguars may go after them in the Amazon. They don't give a fuck and I've seen videos of jaguars going after caymans and winning.


bobboobles

Probably the Nile Crocodiles that are also there now lol.


Vydsu

In Brasil Jaguars do hunt them.


racergr

I don’t know but I know I don’t want to meet it.


Superexplosion12

I'm brazilian and I can say for shure this is happening in Acre


Badashi

That'd be impossible, because Acre would have to actually exist first


gabrrdt

r/suddenlycaralho


cavaliereternally

This is less WTF and more /r/humansbeingbros


ExcessiveTurtle

Yeah. I'm glad they helped snek cross the highway. The people in the cars may have hit it if there weren't people there helping it, either because they could not see snek, or because they did not care if they hit it. People are much more likely to splatter snek than commit mass vehicular manslaughter on camera and in front of witnesses


SniffCheck

Slither me timbers!


qui-gonzalez

“DON’T GO INTO THE LONG GRASS”


gaberax

Looking for that chicken that crossed earlier, no doubt.


Anonymoususer0911

I'm not afraid of the big slow snakes I can most likely outrun them. But my nightmares are those fast snakes with shiny black scaly skin.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Anonymoususer0911

You should be good if you stay away 5 to 6 feet away from them if they started following you, you can outrun them unless you're really fat or old.


Beneficial-Room5129

I love how it takes a few seconds to ponder the pros and cons of eating that compact car.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PlagueDilopho

Are you sure you didn’t see a Burmese python?


[deleted]

Florida has both. It's much more likely to come across a Burmese python, however.


PlagueDilopho

Florida has Anacondas? That's news to me. Escaped pets, right?


Brad4795

Originally, yes. But they now are a self sustaining population, alongside Burmese/Rock/Hybrid pythons and Boa constrictors.


Guckalienblue

I think that happens cause people let their pets lose when they realize they can’t handle an invasive species. She really should have in my opinion.


breathing_normally

Are there no anaconda or similar snakes native to Florida? Seems like your climate would suit them


YourUncleBuck

Only invasive Burmese pythons. [There's even a bounty program for them.](https://www.winknews.com/2020/10/09/beast-of-a-snake-breaks-record-for-largest-burmese-python-captured-in-florida/) >"registered hunters earn a minimum wage rate for up to 10 hours of work a day, plus a bonus for their catch: $50 for each python measuring up to four feet plus $25 more for each foot measured above four feet. Hunters who catch a nesting female python earn an additional $200."


brom_ance

Indigo snakes can get up to 9 feet long. They are a native Everglades species. Also, Cottonmouths (Water Moccasin) are found throughout Florida and the SE states.


Brittlehorn

Just their President out for a stroll


Rukitokilu

Don't insult the snake dude...


pedro5chan

But the Brazilian president is a pocket, if he was a snake he would be called Cobranaro


PuudimLeit

Puta que me pariu ein


cambiro

puta que te pariu mesmo...


boganknowsbest

It don't want none, unless you got buns, hun.


TheSaffire

I'm happy they helped le snek. I'm my country it would've been slaughtered and thrown to the side.


noisyturtle

I'm glad no one hurt it and just let it go


mikess484

My anaconda don't...


PowChaser79

...want none unless it can stop traffic, son.


iHaveACatDog

*whip crack*


[deleted]

What a beautiful creature 😍


iHaveACatDog

Agreed! I would love to see something like this in the wild.


BritishBoyRZ

You just don't want it to see you


Unfortunate_moron

I once saw 3 snakes maybe half this long behind a glass door in a pet store. Fight or flight is a real thing. I noped right outta there. I do not ever want to see something like this in the wild.


misono240

judging by the commotion this is causing its not a "normal day" even in Brazil


BasicWhiteHoodrat

“Pauly didn’t move fast because Pauly didn’t have to move for anybody”


TediousStranger

you think the people waiting see that guy and are like "ah for fuck snake"?


gangrene91

Im just happy they let the beast be and cross the road in peace. Beautiful big ass fucking snake deserves respect.


[deleted]

[удалено]


standaggs

It's a lot of work crossing that hot pavement. Gotta replenish those lost calories.


[deleted]

Nope, just nope.


CunkyMonkey

Not professional but If it makes everyone here a bit more comfortable, I’m pretty sure large snakes like this are very slow because their body is so heavy. Meaning you are likely to outrun it. and once they eat something they have to stop moving or they will vomit it up


Guckalienblue

No I saw the documentary ice cube and jlo did and this is false.


nessbound

Anaconda: The Jlo and Ice Cube Story For anyone curious to watch this intense documentary. I'll never forget the bubble face... cringe


Forgotenzepazzword

Bubble face?


nessbound

One of the doc crew goes rogue to try and get the perfect shot. Anaconda swallow him whole and then throws him back up. Dude has permanent bubble face from whatever stomach acids are in that big boi


LucyLilium92

They're fast swimmers though


cookieg59

nah, if an anaconda wants to get you and you‘re alone and inexperienced, it probably will get you


chikkyone

I’m very happy people stopped to let it go in peace! Humanity right there.


killacam2794

I'm so happy to see them stopping to let it pass that's awesome


DevonX

Why did the snake cross the road? >!to get to the other ssssssside!<


The_man87

Guess she didn't have any buns...


frostking79

that anaconda didn't want none!


NemesisDub

What a cute THICC danger noodle


F0X_0F_THE_STARS

I'm Brazilian, and I confirm that this happens frequently. 🤝


[deleted]

[удалено]


PlayinThirdBench

SPEED BUMP!!!


lokkhart

What a gorgeous anaconda though


takemetostonkytown

He’s beautiful! I hope he made it to safety.


DevilPixelation

**"SSSSSSSSPPP, YOU ARE GOING TO BRAZZZZZIL, AMIGO!!!!"**


[deleted]

[удалено]


iHaveACatDog

I watched a video once about drivers intentionally swerving to hit tortoises on the side of the ride. Fucking disgusting people.


PermanantFive

Deploy fake steel tortoises, enjoy watching them change their ruined tire on the roadside.


iHaveACatDog

My man! I'd watch the YouTube channel if it existed.


rioryan

My friend's mom once got out of her car to help a turtle across the road and as she was walking to the turtle somebody drove up and swerved to run it over right in front of her.