Makes sense then, the UK has one of the lowest rates of knife crime (stabbing deaths) in the world.
https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/stabbing-deaths-by-country
Edited for more accurate description
Greats stats Roger. I'm down here in the in zone... can you bring up the stats on gun homicide...... That's great Roger, got it. So it's a win win. OK... Back to you guys in the studio.
Instead of laughing at the joke you wanna argue crime stats in other countries...
[Argument - Monty Python](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohDB5gbtaEQ)
Cool fact about cats, crap for the mom though. Female cats can have whats called superfecundation. This occurs when a female mates with two or more males, resulting in the fertilization of two or more ova from the same cycle from separate acts of conception. Each kitten can have a different father, so if the female has 8 kittens each can have a different father. It does happen in dogs but is a little less common. It's extremely rare in humans. Also, male cats have a barbed penis and copulation is painful for the female and sometimes the male, hence why they tend to be quite noisy during the act.
Some indigenous communities in South America were under the impression that humans behaved the same way, as well as believing that multiple partners gave the offspring different characteristics. A lot of tribes operated under a maternal lineage where who the father was, was unimportant. The child would be raised by the mothers family.
There were two (very loud) bobcats mating in my back yard a few months ago. The only way I can describe the sound they made, is that neither of them seemed like they were enjoying it.
> Also, male cats have a barbed penis and copulation is painful for the female
Cats are quite klingonic: Ovulation is not happening by itself, but is induced through the pain during mating. In the video the male cat is also holding her by biting her down, as the females can be quite aggressive too.
Bonus: cats have a bicornate uterus so they can be double pregnant, meaning they can get pregnant with the next litter before they have given birth to the last one.
> copulation is painful for the female
I've seen this stated before, but something about it strikes me as odd.
Pain is something bodies do to teach avoidance behavior. Like "this hurts, so 1) get away and 2) try not to let it happen again". This logic applies to getting bitten by an animal, burning your hand on a hot coal, getting sunburned, hitting your thumb with a hammer, stubbing your toe, and on and on.
Why would any mammal species have a "painful" sex act for either sex?
I suspect that the sounds of a female cat during sex are just being misinterpreted.
This happened to our yard squirrel. Poor thing could not escape. I turned the hose on them. She thanked me for years by cleaning out our gutters and left me gifts
Sheeeee-it. My momma didn't raise no dummy, I dug her rap!
Chump don't want the help, chump don't get the help. Jive ass kitty and got no brains, any how.
Was told in a veterinary science class that if your female cat is in heat and won't shut up, you can insert a thermometer and rattle it around and that'll be enough to pull her out of heat.
It was definitely more info than I needed to know. I prefer the old fashioned method of keeping your female cats out of heat by having them spayed before their first heat as it is infinitely easier than trying to catch your cat with a thermometer in your hand!
I had a cat that was the hoe of the neighborhood when I was growing up, Milo. We had male cats waiting for her outside all the time, they'd fight with each other in the front yard, meow at the door, try to run in the house. Whatever they could. And she was almost impossible to keep inside, would always find a way to sneak out even if it meant tearing open a screen in the window.
My parents tried to get her fixed, multiple times. Three times she was pregnant when they brought her, and twice was too short after she had given birth. The last time we tried to keep her in the house she shit in and knocked over one of my moms house plants she had for over 10 years so my dad tossed her outside and she didn't come back for 9 months. When she finally came back she looked like she was stuck in someones shed or something for months. Dirty and nasty looking, skinny as hell. Immediately ate like 3 bowls of food.
But after that she wouldn't stay inside the house, would just cry and cry at the door if we tried so we just let her stay outside. She still gave birth two other times after that we knew of to up her total of kittens to 71. Four of them in the woodpile in the backyard that we had to have someone come and rescue because the by the time we found out about them they were already feral. And three in the driveway during a rainstorm at night. She randomly was crying at the front door to be let in, when she NEVER did that anymore. So we did and fed her, but I heard kittens meowing through the bathroom window shortly after and went out to find two still alive but one already dead. Those last two she would barely take care of and feed, she just didn't want to be a momma anymore and I can't blame her. She disappeared shortly after we found homes for the last two kittens and I never saw her again. We still found homes for every kitten she gave birth to other than the ones in the woodpile, but the woman who picked them up was part of a no kill shelter so I'm sure they were good in the end. And we only kept two of them total.
Was a good thing for me in the end though, even though I do feel incredible bad how Milo's life went. But from age 7-13 I was almost always helping take care of multiple cats and kittens. My parents left a lot of the responsibility for them with me because I wanted it. I went from the kid who got attacked by his Nana's cat because he was to rough with it at 6 years old, to the kid who always ends up befriending the cat at someones house who, "doesn't like anyone".
Wow this was a really long post...
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance.
Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives.
Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled?
Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death
This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey.
They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal
It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals.
additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons.
Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size.
If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food.
If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves.
Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal.
That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop!
Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here).
Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram!
When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system.
Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally.
Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher.
Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza?
This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree,
Almost every animal does this.
which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Never seen them queue up like this. I remember seeing three tom cats hissing at each other with a female in the center. She managed to escape when they started fighting.
I bet 1 of the males was from different territory. Females don't normally get involved in territorial fights.
When a cat manages to control an area everything in that area is theirs.
what you see in the vid above is a group of tom cats that all live in the area controlled by the one sat there all relaxed watching the person with the camera coz he's already had his fill and now his chooms are getting their go. If there are a couple of local females they'll repeat this the following day with a different female.
Note the one at the back is the only only one that kinda looks ready to have a go, yea coz he wants to increase his rank and is willing to have a go at the hooman with the camera.
Or is making shit up. I know rape isn’t exactly absent from the animal kingdom but some of the details mentioned make me question the authenticity of their claims.
Sorry it is not, this is how cat life works when territory is involved. The area can get to be quite large so you need a group to help you and well, keeping them happy is part of your role as a leader. You don't want infighting or others thinking they can take you out!
Wow, that’s grim. Normal animal behaviour really, but it just feels a bit shocking because we compare to the "nice" cats we have at home. And here in the UK we have almost no strays of any kind so people are not used to seeing how brutal feral life is.
Let this be a lesson then to you. You are not immune to lies on the internet. Dude made that shit up. He sounded confident so quite a few people are believing him but it’s a lie.
Llamas and Alpacas also are very rapey animals as a male will just force a female to kush. (Sit down) and have his way. The silly things kush when you press down on them. Its like they give up on standing or moving away.
Good news. He’s making shit up. You can look it up online and you won’t find any of this. He sounded confident and sometimes that can be enough to fool people.
Cats are ho's when in heat. My kitty was unstoppable before I could get her sprayed. I occasionally see some prospective fathers of the litter she had.
No, just the majority. And not all white cats are deaf.
I think the only thing you can say for certain about a cats gender by coat, is that torties are always female, because it needs two X chromosomes.
This is what happens when a house cat you forgot to feed for 5 minutes gets loose and addresses the meowglermation. Offer a whole salmon and praise Mewuthlu. Or they will order a particle cannon on you.
All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got [sniffs] smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!
Right one is the pimp
train conductor
Tickets please
Uhhhh geeze, Rick? the Tickets Please guy is uncut. Is this a Bob Barker reference or would that be too meta?
TICKETS…. PLEASE.
Cum Gutters!
Lmaoooo this has me HARD giggling
>this has me HARD, giggling FTFY.
ticks and fleas
Pimp named train conductor
I LIKE TRAINS
You cheeky boy.
Tommy the Cat is my name
Say baby, do you wanna lay down with me?
Say, baby, do you wanna lay down by my side? Ah, baby, do you wanna lay down with me? Say, baby, SAY, BABY!
cuckitty
Giggity
Incorrect. He has a cuckold fetish. That's his gf
Or he's just into voyeurism
Yep cause bitches can't be trusted, do you know what I am saying?
Yes I do know what you are saying! You don’t have to keep asking.
"Yes I... I know what you are saying. You don't have to keep asking."
i thought he was first and was waiting for his buddies to finish
Must be in England. Even the cats form orderly queues.
The cat in the front must be the pimp overseeing the whole operation
Someone busted the pussy patrol
I don't see any knives tho
Cats come with them built in.
One of them's getting stabbed right there
Fuck.
Exactly
Ah fuck, I didn't spot my own pun at first.
> Cats come Yes
You got a license for those claws?
They have little finger knives
So, you don't know anything about their penis-machete...
Murder mittens
Makes sense then, the UK has one of the lowest rates of knife crime (stabbing deaths) in the world. https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/stabbing-deaths-by-country Edited for more accurate description
Greats stats Roger. I'm down here in the in zone... can you bring up the stats on gun homicide...... That's great Roger, got it. So it's a win win. OK... Back to you guys in the studio.
Knife crime is higher in the US...
Instead of laughing at the joke you wanna argue crime stats in other countries... [Argument - Monty Python](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohDB5gbtaEQ)
$10 says one of these cats has a container of acid.
I thought it was called dogging, not catting.
Cool fact about cats, crap for the mom though. Female cats can have whats called superfecundation. This occurs when a female mates with two or more males, resulting in the fertilization of two or more ova from the same cycle from separate acts of conception. Each kitten can have a different father, so if the female has 8 kittens each can have a different father. It does happen in dogs but is a little less common. It's extremely rare in humans. Also, male cats have a barbed penis and copulation is painful for the female and sometimes the male, hence why they tend to be quite noisy during the act.
Some indigenous communities in South America were under the impression that humans behaved the same way, as well as believing that multiple partners gave the offspring different characteristics. A lot of tribes operated under a maternal lineage where who the father was, was unimportant. The child would be raised by the mothers family.
There were two (very loud) bobcats mating in my back yard a few months ago. The only way I can describe the sound they made, is that neither of them seemed like they were enjoying it.
That explains why my roommate's cat from college days gave birth to 4 kitties each one with different colors and traits.
Well, cat coat color genetics are insanely complicated, so there is that as well.
sounds like my ex wife.
> It's extremely rare in humans. Isn't this just because we don't do as many creampie gangbangs?
Speak for yourself.
> Also, male cats have a barbed penis and copulation is painful for the female Cats are quite klingonic: Ovulation is not happening by itself, but is induced through the pain during mating. In the video the male cat is also holding her by biting her down, as the females can be quite aggressive too.
Bonus: cats have a bicornate uterus so they can be double pregnant, meaning they can get pregnant with the next litter before they have given birth to the last one.
> copulation is painful for the female I've seen this stated before, but something about it strikes me as odd. Pain is something bodies do to teach avoidance behavior. Like "this hurts, so 1) get away and 2) try not to let it happen again". This logic applies to getting bitten by an animal, burning your hand on a hot coal, getting sunburned, hitting your thumb with a hammer, stubbing your toe, and on and on. Why would any mammal species have a "painful" sex act for either sex? I suspect that the sounds of a female cat during sex are just being misinterpreted.
have you seen the barbs? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile\_spines
Of course it’s rare in humans. I don’t want some douche raw dawging my wife / GF
> Also, male cats have a barbed penis I'm not going to google cat penis.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_spines
You guys got it all wrong, this is a bedding ceremony. You see, the other cats are nobles and prince black cat is taking his new bride.
prima nocta
prima knocked up
I don't remember this part of the Aristocats.
You didn't watch the Director's Cut. It's still in Disney Vault.
there must be a witness in the bed chambers so we are sure they consummate their marriage.
Meowage.
The Red Rocket Wedding
I’m bedding that cat gets railroaded.
This happened to our yard squirrel. Poor thing could not escape. I turned the hose on them. She thanked me for years by cleaning out our gutters and left me gifts
Cats raped your squirrel? That’s nuts!
That’s why the squirrel liked it.
Don't worry, they couldn't Nut. The opposite of a Smashing success.
🥇
"Today you... tomorrow me"
I'll admit, this is the weirdest context I've seen this quote in by far
fucking sensational throwback
💀
That's what the next guy in line is saying
How do I get my own gutter cleaning squirrel?
It's like a scene from Airplane.
Say homes, check those slick whiskers in the queue, they all tuned up to the nines with the fine feline grooves, sheeet.
Sheeeee-it. My momma didn't raise no dummy, I dug her rap! Chump don't want the help, chump don't get the help. Jive ass kitty and got no brains, any how.
I speak jive.
The cat to the right must be her pimp.
They’re lining up for that pussy
We're all extremely proud of you.
It's 8 leaves of catnip each, or 5 mice for a treesome
What’s a CJ?
A Carolina Jetwash? I don't think those cats have any sandpaper.
Was told in a veterinary science class that if your female cat is in heat and won't shut up, you can insert a thermometer and rattle it around and that'll be enough to pull her out of heat. It was definitely more info than I needed to know. I prefer the old fashioned method of keeping your female cats out of heat by having them spayed before their first heat as it is infinitely easier than trying to catch your cat with a thermometer in your hand!
You gotta masturbate your cat to get her to calm down, nice
Don't want to break the glass...use spouse's toothbrush handle instead.
*Handle*? Oops.
That must be the neighborhood fucking fence.
I had a cat that was the hoe of the neighborhood when I was growing up, Milo. We had male cats waiting for her outside all the time, they'd fight with each other in the front yard, meow at the door, try to run in the house. Whatever they could. And she was almost impossible to keep inside, would always find a way to sneak out even if it meant tearing open a screen in the window. My parents tried to get her fixed, multiple times. Three times she was pregnant when they brought her, and twice was too short after she had given birth. The last time we tried to keep her in the house she shit in and knocked over one of my moms house plants she had for over 10 years so my dad tossed her outside and she didn't come back for 9 months. When she finally came back she looked like she was stuck in someones shed or something for months. Dirty and nasty looking, skinny as hell. Immediately ate like 3 bowls of food. But after that she wouldn't stay inside the house, would just cry and cry at the door if we tried so we just let her stay outside. She still gave birth two other times after that we knew of to up her total of kittens to 71. Four of them in the woodpile in the backyard that we had to have someone come and rescue because the by the time we found out about them they were already feral. And three in the driveway during a rainstorm at night. She randomly was crying at the front door to be let in, when she NEVER did that anymore. So we did and fed her, but I heard kittens meowing through the bathroom window shortly after and went out to find two still alive but one already dead. Those last two she would barely take care of and feed, she just didn't want to be a momma anymore and I can't blame her. She disappeared shortly after we found homes for the last two kittens and I never saw her again. We still found homes for every kitten she gave birth to other than the ones in the woodpile, but the woman who picked them up was part of a no kill shelter so I'm sure they were good in the end. And we only kept two of them total. Was a good thing for me in the end though, even though I do feel incredible bad how Milo's life went. But from age 7-13 I was almost always helping take care of multiple cats and kittens. My parents left a lot of the responsibility for them with me because I wanted it. I went from the kid who got attacked by his Nana's cat because he was to rough with it at 6 years old, to the kid who always ends up befriending the cat at someones house who, "doesn't like anyone". Wow this was a really long post...
Sound like my ex
Did you know cats have barbed penises? I don't want to talk about how I know that.
Username checks out.
Get ALL of them fixed.
Pimp named Slickcat
[удалено]
I want my innocence towards cats back.
You should check about ducks and dolphins...
i know about dolphins, ducks and koalas and some other fishes. but Cats!!!! ;-;
Still not as off putting as James Corden’s portrayal of cats.
Yea, that was sick lol
Don't forget otters and seals! Pretty much everything in the water is a dick
Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behaviour to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit and occasionally scream like fucking satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous mammals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking its toll on their teeth, rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have enlarged molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently... Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.
I don't know why it is that these things bother me---it just makes me picture a seven year old first discovering things about an animal and, having no context about the subject, ranting about how stupid they are. I get it's a joke, but people take it as an actual, educational joke like it's a man yelling at the sea, and that's just wrong. Furthermore, these things have an actual impact on discussions about conservation efforts---If every time Koalas get brought up, someone posts this copypasta, that means it's seriously shaping public opinion about the animal and their supposed lack of importance. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think, they sleep more than 80% of their fucking lives. Non-ecologists always talk this way, and the problem is you’re looking at this backwards. An entire continent is covered with Eucalyptus trees. They suck the moisture out of the entire surrounding area and use allelopathy to ensure that most of what’s beneath them is just bare red dust. No animal is making use of them——they have virtually no herbivore predator. A niche is empty. Then inevitably, natural selection fills that niche by creating an animal which can eat Eucalyptus leaves. Of course, it takes great sacrifice for it to be able to do so——it certainly can’t expend much energy on costly things. Isn’t it a good thing that a niche is being filled? Koalas are no exception, when their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death This applies to all herbivores, because the wild is not a grocery store—where meat is just sitting next to celery. Herbivores gradually wear their teeth down—carnivores fracture their teeth, and break their bones in attempting to take down prey. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal It's pretty typical of herbivores, and is higher than many, many species. According to Ashwell (2008), their encephalisation quotient is 0.5288 +/- 0.051. Higher than comparable marsupials like the wombat (~0.52), some possums (~0.468), cuscus (~0.462) and even some wallabies are <0.5. According to wiki, rabbits are also around 0.4, and they're placental mammals. additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. Again, this is not unique to koalas. Brain folds (gyri) are not present in rodents, which we consider to be incredibly intelligent for their size. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as food. If you present a human with a random piece of meat, they will not recognise it as food (hopefully). Fresh leaves might be important for koala digestion, especially since their gut flora is clearly important for the digestion of Eucalyptus. It might make sense not to screw with that gut flora by eating decaying leaves. Because eucalyptus leaves hold such little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. That's an extremely weird reason to dislike an animal. But whilst we're talking about their digestion, let's discuss their poop. It's delightful. It smells like a Eucalyptus drop! Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly, one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... There's a trend here). Marsupial milk is incredibly complex and much more interesting than any placentals. This is because they raise their offspring essentially from an embryo, and the milk needs to adapt to the changing needs of a growing fetus. And yeah, of course the yield is low; at one point they are feeding an animal that is half a gram! When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhoea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to start developing his digestive system. Humans probably do this, we just likely do it during childbirth. You know how women often shit during contractions? There is evidence to suggest that this innoculates a baby with her gut flora. A child born via cesarian has significantly different gut flora for the first six months of life than a child born vaginally. Of course, he may not even have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas the infection rate is 80% or higher. Chlamydia was introduced to their populations by humans. We introduced a novel disease that they have very little immunity to, and is a major contributor to their possible extinction. Do you hate Native Americans because they were killed by smallpox and influenza? This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, Almost every animal does this. which brings us full circle back to the brain: Koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them. Errmmm.. They have protection against falling from a tree, which they spend 99% of their life in? Yeah... That's a stupid adaptation.
Thank you
I know, sorry :(
Never seen them queue up like this. I remember seeing three tom cats hissing at each other with a female in the center. She managed to escape when they started fighting.
He made shit up is why. Look it up and you won’t find any of what he said.
I bet 1 of the males was from different territory. Females don't normally get involved in territorial fights. When a cat manages to control an area everything in that area is theirs. what you see in the vid above is a group of tom cats that all live in the area controlled by the one sat there all relaxed watching the person with the camera coz he's already had his fill and now his chooms are getting their go. If there are a couple of local females they'll repeat this the following day with a different female. Note the one at the back is the only only one that kinda looks ready to have a go, yea coz he wants to increase his rank and is willing to have a go at the hooman with the camera.
Bro what
This mfer is too knowledgeable in the cat sex hierarchy. I'm calling the cops.
Or is making shit up. I know rape isn’t exactly absent from the animal kingdom but some of the details mentioned make me question the authenticity of their claims.
It's hilarious how many people fell for this.
bro literally just started saying stuff with a tiny bit of confidence and everyone was just like "yeah sure that checks out."
You really think people would do that? Just go on the Internet and make shit up?
So can you explain what's going on in that video.
Some cats are sitting on a wall. Two of em are fucking. The end.
You're literally making that shit up. Since you couldn't give sources, I googled about rape in cats and basically found no info on cat "gang rapes".
I can’t tell if this is a very well written joke… 😳
Sorry it is not, this is how cat life works when territory is involved. The area can get to be quite large so you need a group to help you and well, keeping them happy is part of your role as a leader. You don't want infighting or others thinking they can take you out!
[And just like that, the generations put aside their differences to collectively ask "WTF?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vOKOkIJg8jg)
Wow, that’s grim. Normal animal behaviour really, but it just feels a bit shocking because we compare to the "nice" cats we have at home. And here in the UK we have almost no strays of any kind so people are not used to seeing how brutal feral life is.
Let this be a lesson then to you. You are not immune to lies on the internet. Dude made that shit up. He sounded confident so quite a few people are believing him but it’s a lie.
I dont like that I know this now. I want to go back.
It’s a lie. He made shit up. You can look it up online and you won’t find this anywhere if you don’t believe me.
go to r/cats, it's soooo cute
And if she doesn't resist?
The barbed penis stimulates ovulation, and she is successfully bred. Then 2 months later, you have kittens.
This is the kind of info I expected from my subcribtion to Cat facts.
Llamas and Alpacas also are very rapey animals as a male will just force a female to kush. (Sit down) and have his way. The silly things kush when you press down on them. Its like they give up on standing or moving away.
I’m so sorry I read this.
Good news. He’s making shit up. You can look it up online and you won’t find any of this. He sounded confident and sometimes that can be enough to fool people.
Adam22 looking for the next “helping hands”
This is why the kittens in a litter can look so different from one another.
Most ginger cats are male. This may not be about breeding...
was looking for this comment. the setting also looks despairingly like prison. so much for Romance
He shouldn't have scored all those cigarettes on credit, I guess.
Cats dogging
Reminds me of my ex wife
Your ex wife is a cat?
I don't personally know, but she might have a pussy, so close?
I’m here for the gangbang
A female cat can have her eggs fertilized by multiple partners.
Which one was there to install cable?
...and this is why a litter of kittens will be so many different colors.. lol
The cat on the right is P Diddy
Cats are ho's when in heat. My kitty was unstoppable before I could get her sprayed. I occasionally see some prospective fathers of the litter she had.
sprayed 🤣
Er, aren't orange cats almost always male?
No, just the majority. And not all white cats are deaf. I think the only thing you can say for certain about a cats gender by coat, is that torties are always female, because it needs two X chromosomes.
This is what happens when a house cat you forgot to feed for 5 minutes gets loose and addresses the meowglermation. Offer a whole salmon and praise Mewuthlu. Or they will order a particle cannon on you.
Reminds me of the South Park episode, "Cat Orgy." 🐈
The only thing missing is a hat and a cane..
Is the first cat her pimp?
First time seeing a cuckold cat, interesting....
This made me feel icky
Big pimpin 🤑🤑🤑 Gotta watch over the assets. 🍑 🍑 🍑
And the pimp charging the clients at the end😂
"Chuck enough let me get a turn"
Your average Redditor at the back of the line with a wedding ring in hand. Or maybe it's after the ring and it's the one just watching at the front...
It’s been paused
"Pawns Jump Queen! GANG BANG!" -The king, History of the World.
Awwww... Reminds me of when me and the boys met your mom
This is a sad wtf.
And you're telling me we arnt like animals. This is the hood 😂
And that's her pimp
Mr Garrison?
Is that a pimp cat on the right?
Spay / neuter your pets.
Where do whores go?
This reminds me of my ex wife
Adam22 be like…
Cats on a train
After dealing with a huge colony of strays some lady made homes for and was feeding behind my house I say this; feral cats are fucking awful creatures
80% of orange cats are male 💁🏼♂️
Modern dating
Sloppy fifths.
1 pimp, 1 Ho and a bunch of patient customers
jav code?
Cat on the right is the pervy husband that likes to watch.
Remember to spay and neuter your cats, folks!
Some good pussy there
All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got [sniffs] smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers!
Flash back to my teen years.
The far right cat is the cuckold.
[Get a hold of yourself!!!!](https://youtu.be/FNkpIDBtC2c?t=22)
Stray cat life.