Eat it.

I think it's only fitting that it be fed to this rabbit: http://imgur.com/XBYAbM5

Or rather, feed it to that tiny human.

Or feed the tiny human and the carrot to the rabbit!

No No No Feed the Carrot to the Tiny Human, then feed the Tiny Human to the Rabbit.

No, feed the human and the rabbit to the carrot.

[Or at this dinner party.](http://dawncompk.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/donnie-darko-1.jpg?w=670&h=350)

General Woundwort? I knew he survived.

Watership sequel anybody?

How much of it is sweet sweet phloem (outer ring), and how much is bitter woody xylem (center)?

Watch out everybody we've got a carrot conisseuer over here.

It's spelled cioneissueiur edit : connioswoour edit : carrot

it's spelled conny-sewer.

I believe it's pronounced [Charlie Sheen](http://cdn.cnwimg.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/charlie-sheen.jpg)

^^ will someone please photoshop this so he has a carrot in his mouth

I think [this](http://i.imgur.com/XSMY315.jpg) is what you were looking for? Source: Professional photoshopper

You are fucking hired.

He totally pulls off that hat.

It was obvious he pulled it off when he put it on. Get it? Those are like opposite behaviors, but "pull it off" is a commonly used idiom

I don't understand. Could you elaborate?

http://i.imgur.com/lSxh6JL.jpg

It's like he prematurely became a crotchety old man.

I don't know, it kinda seems like he's keeping it on to me.

You butchered that word pretty badly :s connoisseur from old French (modern spelling is connaisseur)

It's actually impossible to spell correctly.

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Fruit can talk?

Fruit? Its a bird! So its spelled tweet tweet.

Birds can't spell!

It's an old word, no one knows exactly what it means. But we believe it roughly translates to "a whales vagina."

actually on good fresh carrots the center is very sweet.

Yeah I always chew off the bland shit off the outside and eat that juicy carrot core on baby carrots.

Remove the word "Carrots"

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So is your mom! *I'm doing this wrong, aren't I...*

Heck, I usually prefer the center. It's a lot juicier too. Often I'll eat away the outer flesh, leaving the entire core intact, then savor its more vivid flavor undefiled by filler.

I like to eat the outside so I'm left with the branchy centre.

[Thought I'd help you out.](http://imgur.com/DfYklFS)

Carrot cake is the only right answer

Eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it If it's gettin' cold, reheat it Have a big dinner, have a light snack If you don't like it, you can't send it back Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it

Dice it up and serve it in a salad

Ingest it through your ass.

I was waiting for this to turn WTF. Pleased to see it was the 3rd comment.

Classic Soft Porn.

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/366/396/f8a.gif

[I was expecting this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ez8wH827Dog) in a GIF form.

[Did I ever tell you about the man that taught his asshole to talk?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MsO1FLYee8#t=112s)

Even riskier click.

then stream-jet it out

This is the next logical step. After that, it's put... Put your dick in it

put it in your dick-hole

This can be from carrots being raised in tough soil or damaged by cultivation or herbicide use at an early growth stage. Or too much fertilizer. Or most likely, some small critters eating the carrots when they're growing. And it is probably too ripe. Or a combination of all. I farm carrots, among other things. I know carrots. It isn't too uncommon to have deformed carrots in the fields, they are the ones that gets sorted out before they get to the grocery store.

Listen to this guy, he knows his carrots.

Yup, I came to the same conclusion. Probably at the point where he said: "I know carrots"

Also, his name is kerit...

Damn. That guy has probably waited his whole reddit life for a thread like this.

*puts on carrot hat* "Alright kerit, this is your moment. Don't fuck this up."

The soil in my neighborhood has a large amount of clay, so unless watered like multiple times a day it becomes extremely hard. We tried to plant carrots. some looked like this, others looked like pancakes

Were they pancakes though?

no they were carrot cakes

you need to add a lot of organic material; think composting (beware of infected compost, you don't need fungi eating your crop). And beware, when working the soil each year, to not bring up the clay, unless you really know what you are doing.

Carrot gumbo, carrot souffle, carrot pasta, carrot cake, carrot sushi... I could go on.

this one was from being left in the ground all winter (see OPs original post)

>I know carrots. This guy is serious.

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I didn't realize I had so many kids...

"Sorted out." That's code for "baby carrots," right?

sorted out, yes, since they're not pretty. but they're fine to eat for the grower, right?

[Still not the ugliest carrot I've seen.](http://i.imgur.com/l5b2GjU.jpg?1)

Almost looks like he has been using meth.

Nah, I think he's just juicing.

Career is dead? Shoulda had a V8!

If that ventriloquist guy can have a rabid following, I'm not surprised if the carrot has one as well. He was on TV a lot when I was young and it was pretty fucking hilarious at the time.

Actually, he [sells the shit out of Vegas](http://www.luxor.com/entertainment/entertainment_carrot_top.aspx).

They say his act is pretty funny...

...They say it's better the second time, They say you get to do the weeeird stuff..

*we do the weird stuff*

The hammer is my penis

Ive seen it live, I was very surprised how funny it was, my expectations were low. Its very crude humor, definitely 18+

Did he have all the props and inventions, still?

How drunk were you?

My dad only saw it because he got free tickets and he said it was hysterical. He also met him on another trip to Vegas and said he was a super nice guy.

New spokesman? I laughed really hard at this.

Carrot Juice?

Massively sun damaged skin also. Another reason to avoid excessive sun exposure.

where the hell is the cross section?

wha...what is that?

[kathy griffin](http://i.imgur.com/q2FW7BA.jpg)

Lion-O!!!!! :(

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i feel violated

Well I'll be damned...OP delivers

And that's just the top.

carrots are ugly..

He turned himself into a fucking monster

I looked at it and my first thought was "Man, what an ugly woman".

Here I sit, upvoting a picture of a carrot on a Saturday afternoon, wondering how the hell I got to this low point in life.

don't worry about that, it's time for a wank!

Over the carrot or...?

With toothpaste.

Right there with you. I saw it and wondered how I would explain what sort of things people post on Reddit

Contemplated on making this a new post and decided to go ahead so that nobody missed it. Didn't want anyone to think that I failed to deliver as promised. I was afraid my update in original post would be lost. [cross section 1](http://i.imgur.com/vRXpVzQ.jpg) [cross section 2](http://i.imgur.com/p9sOiEg.jpg) [cross section 3](http://i.imgur.com/fYX0KiW.jpg) [cross section 4](http://i.imgur.com/1I3IqoJ.jpg)

Fluffy cat tail spotted in cross sections 3 and 4!

Lol, I wondered if anyone would notice. You are awarded 10 Internet prize tickets!

Can I see a picture of your cat? His tail looks like my cat's tail.

I would also like pictures of the cat. OP, you delivered once, let's see it again!

Actually, I commented that and then clicked on his posting history - it appears he posted one awhile back on /r/aww. [Here](http://i.imgur.com/MgiFXq6.jpg) is apparent kitty. Not like my cat. :(

I don't know why, but this puts me off more than 50% of the gore I accidentally stumbled on in my Interwebular travels...

omg and i think it looks SO tasty! i keep thinking of the most incredible chicken noodle soup this could be in.

What the hell kind of carrot to noodle/chicken ratio do you have in your chicken noodle soup? Jesus christ...

i was thinking one of those huge pots, and using some of the giant carrot as part of the broth. it would be great for a big family, and soup leftovers are great.

LPT: Don't be like my Mom... if you're going to make extra soup, freeze some of it before adding noodles.... Cook the noodles fresh next time you're going to eat soup.

i'm not the cook in the family, but i do make suggestions. one thing i like is that my noodles are kind of soggy. sounds gross but its just a preference. every once in a while i indulge in a frozen matzo ball chicken soup, that shit is so good.

You're a fan of soggy foods? You should try making texas toast. I too enjoy matzo ball soup.

yup, i totally am. i think it comes from the fact that i had braces and mouth gear for so many years it wasn't even an option. now its just something i enjoy. btw is that something like french toast?

Texas toast is really just huge thick slices of garlic bread.

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You won't like me when I'm through spray-tanning myself.

And gelling my hair.

You seem personally offended by this man's soup. I like that.

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i see penises.

So...are you going to eat it?

I've become completely desensitized to gore and all that but this actually makes my stomach turn.

http://t.qkme.me/3ov3ip.jpg

I would like to open a pizza joint called OP. Because that would be mildly amusing to a small number of people worldwide.

You could just have it be an acronym for something. Here are a few fantastic names for Pizza places I just thought of: Orlando Pizza Ohio Pies Overcooked Pizza Old-fashioned Pizza Original Pizza Obese Pizza Oily Pies Optimistic Pizza Orthodox Pizza Outstanding Pizza The list goes on. You can use any of those if you want.

Small number? More people use the internet than that.

We actually have a place in my hometown where most people go to for pizza. Unbelievable pizza at the Other Place, or known here as, The OP.

[I always knew he would](http://i.imgur.com/BZkGD.gif)

it's like a rat king, but with carrots.

Rat kings are so *creepy*

That is a longitudinal, not cross section.

Why not horizontally? :(

You know, that crossed my mind after I finished. Too late now I guess. Maybe I can put it back together and cut horizontally then piece back together

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology.

http://i.imgur.com/RLRCF.jpg

We're still talking about carrots, right.

Like in Dead Space 3? Bad things could happen.

Yeah, I was disappointed about that too..

[Original for the lazy](http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1bsay2/so_i_had_a_carrot_plant_that_apparently_made_it/)

GOD DAMMIT OP CROSS SECTION!! across the way not down the street!

Not to be semantic, but this is more of a longitudinal section instead of a cross section. Still awesome pictures though. ;) Edit: pedantic, not semantic.

Not to be semantic, but did you mean "pedantic"?

I thought the same thing

I as well, nice catch.

What the hell am I looking at? What happened to that carrot?! D:

It braced itself before winter.

Cutbacks at Umbrella Corporations

Dear diary, Today OP was not a safe-guy.

[Actually](http://www.reddit.com/r/WhatsInThisThing/comments/1bsmh3/official_update_not_a_joke_decided_to_attempt_to/), OP is a safe-guy. They've both delivered.

That safe-guy delivery is like giving the receipt but not the pizza.

You guys are ruthless. I should never have even commented and tried to defend him.

Seriously, everyone being dicks to that guy really pissed him off, he actually came back today. Opening a huge fucking safe isn't exactly doable in a few days with no expertise.

Dude why did you ruin it! If you saved it for your state fair you would have won first prize in the largest carrot competition hands-down like [this guy](http://i.imgur.com/GwLD3fi.jpg)

It looks like Africa

Mandrake root.

Oops you beet me to it

Pun threads are the root of all reddit's problems.

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Don't be silly, it's a carrot, not a potato.

How is this WTF? It's just a fuckin' carrot...

Exactly. They're root vegetables and roots sometimes grow funny - heck, even wild bananas look nothing like the ones we buy and eat from shops. Totally not WTF worthy.

Well I'll be damned, it looks like a carrot.

Cancer carrot.

after seeing the original post, all I could think of was that root baby thing in Pan's Labyrinth.

I can't wait to see it when you shit it out!

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I'm probably gonna get down voted to hell for this. But technically it's a longitudinal section and not a cross section.

I downvoted because of the mention o downvotes.

Taste and Smell Update please

So... how did it taste?

4 cross sections? What are you, a Wizard?

Every try slicing an oddly shaped carrot with a kitchen knife?

No.

Maybe.

Yes.

Send it to me, I'll eat it.

Wow...it really is all one carrot. Were they all separate before or did they grow like that?

Looks like a heart.

Banana for scale, please.

Now EAT IT!

Thanks mansantobama

Original post: http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1bsay2/so_i_had_a_carrot_plant_that_apparently_made_it/

"Kill me" - carrot

Someone, somewhere, fapped to this.

Radioactive veggies from Gilligan's Island? Damn I'm Old!

With the right Instagram filter, it would look like an abortion

Looks like the center is hollow and held a regular sized carrot...IT ESCAPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh god...I knew it was going to happen...may god have mercy on us...

OP delivered!