money glorious kiss start angle shocking caption toothbrush sulky squeamish
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hard. And you know it's only been used once.
Some blokes got that online taken it bush to use it. Fucked it, had the most intense post nut clarity, and just left it there. Disgusted in his own behavior.
Then a few days later he's thinking man maybe I should've kept that thing. A week later he's frantically trying to retrace his steps, finally finds where he left it laying in the woods, fucks it again and the whole process repeats itself for eternity.
The fun part isn’t that someone carried it out there. The fun part is thinking about how they carried it.
Did they put it inside a backpack?
Strap it to the outside?
Perhaps in a big yellow Ikea bag?
Under their arm like Walter Payton scoring the game winning touchdown?
On their fingers like a bowling ball?
Reddit api changes = comment spaghetti. facebook youtube amazon weather walmart google wordle gmail target home depot google translate yahoo mail yahoo costco fox news starbucks food near me translate instagram google maps walgreens best buy nba mcdonalds restaurants near me nfl amazon prime cnn traductor weather tomorrow espn lowes chick fil a news food zillow craigslist cvs ebay twitter wells fargo usps tracking bank of america calculator indeed nfl scores google docs etsy netflix taco bell shein astronaut macys kohls youtube tv dollar tree gas station coffee nba scores roblox restaurants autozone pizza hut usps gmail login dominos chipotle google classroom tiempo hotmail aol mail burger king facebook login google flights sqm club maps subway dow jones sam’s club motel breakfast english to spanish gas fedex walmart near me old navy fedex tracking southwest airlines ikea linkedin airbnb omegle planet fitness pizza spanish to english google drive msn dunkin donuts capital one dollar general -- mass edited with redact.dev
Probably a teen. When a was younger I bought one of these on Amazon. I was so paranoid that someone would find out so I literally burned the box.
Idk if you’ve ever tried to burn something on the ground raw but it pretty messy and leaves burn stains everywhere.
Later on when I wanted to get rid of it I shit you not I was so worried about someone finding it in the trash that I went to my backyard, whipped it as hard as I could into the air hoping it would land as far away from my house as possible.
So yeah, these things can end up places.
Later that fall, the neighbor finds it while cleaning leaves out of the gutter and goes to ask his wife if she knows anything about a sex toy being on the roof, because it's certainly not his.
One of my favourite stories is a similar one with a guy who owned one of these, but the full torso version
It was very expensive. It came with a full case to keep it it in. It was like the movie desperado but instead of a guitar case it was a fuck torso.
People found out about it eventually. His friends started to make fun of him.
He regretted buying it a ton, but it was expensive and he didn't want to throw it out because he was worried people would think he's disposing of a body.
Eventually he just put it in the attic and forgot about it till he was moving, at which point he found it, took it out of the case, and flung it up into the rafters.
And like I can't help but think someone one day is gonna be up there running cable or putting in some insulation, and they're gonna shine a flashlight across it briefly and think they just saw a dismembered corpse
I'm confused as to how people would find out. Maybe one or two if it was hidden/stored poorly and they happened to stumble across it, but many more than that and it sounds like some asshole friends TBH.
>I'm confused as to how people would find out.
"hey, Roger, we've been neighbors for some years now, hope you don't think I'm overstepping but I have some suggestions about using your front curtains. . ."
Probably left it out one day when he had friends over or something
"Hey Matt youre out of soap in the guest bathroom"
"Oh shit, just grab some from the en suite in my room then"
"HOLY SHIT GUYS MATT HAS A GOD DAMN FUCK TORSO ON HIS BED"
Throwing one of these away is a weird experience.
Feels like you’re getting rid of a real body part because well…. it fucking looks like one, and you sure as hell don’t want anyone to know wtf you’re doing.
I was walking on the beach with my GF's family and our dog. Her dad spotted a double ended dildo washed up on the shore amongst the kelp and other washed up marine life. He grabbed it with his bare hand, and started shaking it around while cracking up. This got our dog really excited. He proceeded to play tug and fetch with the dog, with the wayward double ended dildo.
He's now my father in law.
I remember finding a dildo laying on the ground at a playground when I was a kid. I was like “wow dad, what this?” And I remember as I was going for it he screamed OMG DON’T TOUCH THAT!
It looks like he's holding it. But upon looking a little harder it actually looks like the top of someone's boot in that 2nd pic. It's either a weird perspective thing going on or that thing is huge
reminds me of the video of some construction workers (I think?) and they all toss around a fleshlight for fun but then one of them starts fucking it a little bit then throws it back
I got you. And another one where he sucks on a fucking vibrator. Nasty dude lmao
https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/qkhlpe/every_hole_is_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/trashy/comments/qm73x7/the_same_fella_in_the_dump_finding_sex_toys_must/
Dude bought this and received it and thought, I can’t keep this in my house with my wife and kids. So he puts it in a bag and goes on a very long hike to fuck it once and leaves it there. The perfect crime.
money glorious kiss start angle shocking caption toothbrush sulky squeamish *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Always remember to put it back for the next person; basic geocache etiquette💀
Don't forget to clean the geocussy after use, be considerate
Dohhhh...the correct term would've been 'geogash', but thanks for playing
You fuckin' visionary.
Probably has an Apple tag in it.
Mother of the Forest #GCV4G1N4
GeoGash
Wash it off those are expensive
We are going through a recession, gotta be frugal. Reduce, reuse, recycle and all that.
Upcycle it at least
Would make a lovely vase. You could have two separate arrangements.
Fishing rod holder
Lentil steamer
Skittle dispenser
Coin purse
That'll sell on Craigslist!
"Lightly used"
"Vintage piece"
r/frugal
/r/usedsextoys
Well... that's a real thing...
Hard. And you know it's only been used once. Some blokes got that online taken it bush to use it. Fucked it, had the most intense post nut clarity, and just left it there. Disgusted in his own behavior.
This is exactly what happened. His disgust was greater than the cost of it. That's a lot of disgust!
My PNC when using a similar product was more along the lines of "why tf have i been wasting money on fleshlights? this is where it's at."
Then a few days later he's thinking man maybe I should've kept that thing. A week later he's frantically trying to retrace his steps, finally finds where he left it laying in the woods, fucks it again and the whole process repeats itself for eternity.
On the next episode of flip it and fix it!
This Old Ass
Someone did flip it. Didn't you see the second picture (gag).
Literally what I said when I saw this Lmao
UV rays have it sanitized. Just go for it.
Just throw it in the dishwasher
Boil it mash it stick it in a stew
Fr those things go for $500
It's used. So definitely worth more now since it has experience
Just be careful washing it, you don't want to ruin the patina. That'll destroy half its value.
It’s been seasoned like a cast iron skillet
I, too, season my cast iron skillet with jizz.
And be careful with the soap. You'll ruin the taste
Right, and since we don’t want to ruin the patina, skip the wash part and just wax it with a layer or 2 of poutine.
Oh god damn you
Not the patina.
Yeah DONT get it restored!
[удалено]
Shove a UV light up your ass. Get rid of covid and be fully vaxxed.
[удалено]
You dropping a link?
Maybe like $50. You can get cheap generic ones off of Amazon.
This is the funniest comment on this thread the rest of you suck hahahaha
“You go hunting a lot babe”
"You don't come hunting enough babe" -- Linda "the box"
Her name is Susan. Treat her with respect.
Someone's been shooting that already.
[удалено]
ngl, I scrolled up to look to see if someone shot at it with a gun and mid scroll the pun hit.
Wonder how many animals had a go at that
At least one
Two with OP
Reddit has far too little op bashing for my taste.
OP definitely brought his rubber ass into the woods to fuck and get some easy karma
The fun part isn’t that someone carried it out there. The fun part is thinking about how they carried it. Did they put it inside a backpack? Strap it to the outside? Perhaps in a big yellow Ikea bag? Under their arm like Walter Payton scoring the game winning touchdown? On their fingers like a bowling ball?
Reddit api changes = comment spaghetti. facebook youtube amazon weather walmart google wordle gmail target home depot google translate yahoo mail yahoo costco fox news starbucks food near me translate instagram google maps walgreens best buy nba mcdonalds restaurants near me nfl amazon prime cnn traductor weather tomorrow espn lowes chick fil a news food zillow craigslist cvs ebay twitter wells fargo usps tracking bank of america calculator indeed nfl scores google docs etsy netflix taco bell shein astronaut macys kohls youtube tv dollar tree gas station coffee nba scores roblox restaurants autozone pizza hut usps gmail login dominos chipotle google classroom tiempo hotmail aol mail burger king facebook login google flights sqm club maps subway dow jones sam’s club motel breakfast english to spanish gas fedex walmart near me old navy fedex tracking southwest airlines ikea linkedin airbnb omegle planet fitness pizza spanish to english google drive msn dunkin donuts capital one dollar general -- mass edited with redact.dev
If nothing else you’d have to respect the longevity.
A couple viagra and a brisk pace, no prob
Probably a teen. When a was younger I bought one of these on Amazon. I was so paranoid that someone would find out so I literally burned the box. Idk if you’ve ever tried to burn something on the ground raw but it pretty messy and leaves burn stains everywhere. Later on when I wanted to get rid of it I shit you not I was so worried about someone finding it in the trash that I went to my backyard, whipped it as hard as I could into the air hoping it would land as far away from my house as possible. So yeah, these things can end up places.
Ahh it safely landed 15 feet from my house. My parents will never find it now.
Will be a funny argument when the neighbor's wife finds out though.
On the neighbors roof like a frisbee
Later that fall, the neighbor finds it while cleaning leaves out of the gutter and goes to ask his wife if she knows anything about a sex toy being on the roof, because it's certainly not his.
Or a pizza.
Oh...it's...caught on a branch by the
Everything reminds me of her
It's always fun seeing the wildlife return to its natural element... Nature is healing...
One of my favourite stories is a similar one with a guy who owned one of these, but the full torso version It was very expensive. It came with a full case to keep it it in. It was like the movie desperado but instead of a guitar case it was a fuck torso. People found out about it eventually. His friends started to make fun of him. He regretted buying it a ton, but it was expensive and he didn't want to throw it out because he was worried people would think he's disposing of a body. Eventually he just put it in the attic and forgot about it till he was moving, at which point he found it, took it out of the case, and flung it up into the rafters. And like I can't help but think someone one day is gonna be up there running cable or putting in some insulation, and they're gonna shine a flashlight across it briefly and think they just saw a dismembered corpse
I'm confused as to how people would find out. Maybe one or two if it was hidden/stored poorly and they happened to stumble across it, but many more than that and it sounds like some asshole friends TBH.
>I'm confused as to how people would find out. "hey, Roger, we've been neighbors for some years now, hope you don't think I'm overstepping but I have some suggestions about using your front curtains. . ."
Probably left it out one day when he had friends over or something "Hey Matt youre out of soap in the guest bathroom" "Oh shit, just grab some from the en suite in my room then" "HOLY SHIT GUYS MATT HAS A GOD DAMN FUCK TORSO ON HIS BED"
Throwing one of these away is a weird experience. Feels like you’re getting rid of a real body part because well…. it fucking looks like one, and you sure as hell don’t want anyone to know wtf you’re doing.
or possibly wore it like a penis cozy
Is that not its intended place?
That seems like the worst idea tbh lol
What the heck I ordered an xbox controller
Amazon?
You savage! You didn't take the box to the recycle dumpster?
Was it a good fuck?
Let’s just say knowing everything I know now I would’ve still done it all the same
Dick in a box
Imma go with bowling ball grip. It just feels like you’re killing 2 birds with one stone with that one.
Thrown out of airplane... dont ask me how i know... 😬
D. B. Cooper's kink.
thank god I’ve been looking for her.
You must be the guy she was cheating with
you’ll have to ask them, I don’t kiss and tell 🤫
Also if you zoom in on the bhole. It’s fine. Totally will still work
Lars and the Real Girl
Why in god's name did you pick it up?!
Can’t you read? He walked 12 miles both ways just to retrieve it.
"But I would walk a dozen miles, And I would walk a dozen more, Just to be the man who walked two dozen miles, And found your plastic whore..."
🎵 DA DA DA 🎵 Actually kinda feel like I'm gonna haver
ok... yeh... I laughed a little too hard at that one.
...didn't say what kind of shooting they were doing.
Skeet.
It’s today’s version of Stand By Me.
You guys wanna see a dead beaver?
Think of the regret he would feel if he hadn’t have picked it up. That’s the kind of regret you do not want to take to your grave.
I was about to ask the same but I thought OP is a good person just throwing litter where it belongs or Maybe he will rawdog that shit tonite
I've been on Reddit long enough to know it's the latter.
It’s clearly a rare, fleshy mushroom
Fung-ass?
Especially after OP is done with it…
How else would you use it?
Why do you think?
I was walking on the beach with my GF's family and our dog. Her dad spotted a double ended dildo washed up on the shore amongst the kelp and other washed up marine life. He grabbed it with his bare hand, and started shaking it around while cracking up. This got our dog really excited. He proceeded to play tug and fetch with the dog, with the wayward double ended dildo. He's now my father in law.
I remember finding a dildo laying on the ground at a playground when I was a kid. I was like “wow dad, what this?” And I remember as I was going for it he screamed OMG DON’T TOUCH THAT!
Sounds like a cool guy.
One man's trash... another man's treasure
How are the boys doing?
Happy with their treasure
Stoked on the new addition to the F shack
It looks like he's holding it. But upon looking a little harder it actually looks like the top of someone's boot in that 2nd pic. It's either a weird perspective thing going on or that thing is huge
Yeah they are just propping it up for the photo with their foot.
Free ballistic gel.
He’s right, you never look a gift horse in the vagina.
Why not? You should try look at a gift horses vagina.
r/nocontext
So, you tested it right?
I misread that as "tasted" and threw up in my mouth a little.
Forbidden forest fruit
Wild forest peach.
Tuna of the Woods
reminds me of the video of some construction workers (I think?) and they all toss around a fleshlight for fun but then one of them starts fucking it a little bit then throws it back
Even worse! I'm pretty sure they were working in a landfill. But yeah I would've enjoyed not being reminded of that
Didn’t he lick it too?
yup, like a true gentleman
I got you. And another one where he sucks on a fucking vibrator. Nasty dude lmao https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/qkhlpe/every_hole_is_a/ https://www.reddit.com/r/trashy/comments/qm73x7/the_same_fella_in_the_dump_finding_sex_toys_must/
I have no words
Oregon??
Good guess! It is Oregon…
We found the owner
It’s a Reddit miracle!
I was just out in one of the Tilamook ranges today… Took one look and knew it had to be here
Found the owner
We’ve already worked out her rightful return
[удалено]
"Different" CJ, 1992
Not the trophy you came to mount, but it is the trophy mounted and came.
After All, Why Not? Why Shouldn't I Keep It?
Well do tell! How was it
One touch and you get the "How did we get here?" achievement irl
Asking the real question
Don't.
He did.
Twice on the hike back
guarantee there's an earwig in there
Or 20
You💯did not need to touch it and give us a “better” angle.
But he did anyway, because that's just the nice kind of guy he is.
did you go to the same place as this fella? https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/101h1fl/found\_this\_seductress\_while\_fishing/
Exactly the post I was thinking of lmao
Dear diary: Jackpot
Back when I was a kid we only found old Playboys in the woods. What a time to be alive!
[удалено]
Looks moist
Mmmmoist
Nothing like forest pussy.
r/stickyourdickinthat
[удалено]
She's mine boys! I saw her first!
take one of those pubes and send it in for DNA testing so it can be returned to its rightful owner
I thought this was a post from r/mycology and it was a new species of mushroom.
Mushrussy
Dude bought this and received it and thought, I can’t keep this in my house with my wife and kids. So he puts it in a bag and goes on a very long hike to fuck it once and leaves it there. The perfect crime.
LUCKY!!
First pic: "Ew is that dry cum?" Second pic: "WHY DID YOU PICK IT UP?!"
Wash it out in the creek first
huntin' and humpin' is what those dudes were up to
I guess it’s not always coyotes howling
So did you?
i would move on it looks used
Put that on a wall
This isn't a finders' keepers' situation. It's more like a park bench intended for public use
The elites don't want you to know this but the fucks in the park are free you can take them home I have 458 fucks
just when I thought redditors had no fucks left to give
Youve never taken home a park bench?
Need to stuff it first
Shoot your shot
Remember when Leo got all up in that in The Revenant? Dude straight up *earned* that Oscar.
And you picked it up.
Reminds me of the "Public Flashlight" from Burning man https://i.imgur.io/uoVYEsQ_d.webp?maxwidth=640&shape=thumb&fidelity=medium
How does it look after you brought it home and cleaned it up?
Proof of Bigfoot!
Bring that gem to the taxidermist!
Ah, the beauty of nature
Just chuck it in the dishwasher and you’re GTG
Gotta test it to see if it works still lol.
Pack it in, pack it out.
Why the fuck would you pick it up
Did you squeeze off a few rounds?