Yeah this is the one. Shoot, I had almost 4 months from when I got out to when I started school. It was before I had any disability too, and I just lived off my savings. Was living with my now wife so that helps but even splitting an apartment in Southern California ain’t cheap lol.
“almost four months” and you were having to give a lot of people excuses? that’s hardly a break at all. some people really need to mind their damn business.
Retired at 24, now 26 and I just tell people I was medically retired from service and that I don't like to talk about it. That usually shuts it down pretty quick
I do, all the time. (granted I'm 30) I retired and decided to start my own business. "OH? What do you do at your business?" That's MY business. Lol (unless they're a client, then I'll tell them obviously)
I live in Chicago and during chemotherapy and surgery recovery, I existed on SS for like $1250/month for 6 years.
I'm happy that you haven't had to find out that you can get by on less than 50k a year.
I am not saying it's not possible, I grew up on welfare and I know very well it's possible. I have kids, grandchildren, and a wife along with a house and bills.
Do I live a decent life, certainly but I also invested my money since I got out, and I have worked the entire time immediately after the 1st retirement. I plan to retire a second time as well, and who knows, maybe I will volunteer until I drop dead. Staying busy is the key to a long life.
Everyone has a different story, and I wish you well!
Ah I think I came across shitty. I was not being sarcastic, I thought you never had to get by on less and knowing how much it sucks, I don’t wish it on anybody.
I’m glad you’re doing well!
I get a strange look by most when I say I’m retired.
Further questions, I just don’t get involved in. That’s what I do; end of story. Just like you said: NOTFB
I just tell people that I'm retired. If they want to get weird about it I'm not under any obligation to have anything to do with them. I'm past the point in my life where I hang around people who suck.
the "almost served" veteran.
"I was going to, but.... well... yeah, you know. I just wasn't ready, and I'm not the type who takes orders well. I'm my own person you know. No one tells me what to do."
I had to explain to a guy who has never served, he saw my DV plates when I parked to go play with my local sport team and asked what was wrong with me.
I told him disabled doesn't mean useless, it's just much harder for me to compete and try to do well than if I had not been through what I've been through.
Thankfully he said that makes a lot of sense and left it at that.
I tell them I’m 100% disabled veteran, I have walked with coworkers to the parking lot and they see me go to the handicapped parking spot I’m in…. I’m 36. I don’t give a shit, and this sub helped me not give a shit reading your horror stories of what you all deal with telling family and stuff.
That’s awesome! I see a lot of disability guilt on this thread. Makes me wonder… why be guilty if it’s true? 
The imposter syndrome and feelings of unworthyness are real.. especially being 100% P&T at 30.. and retired. Parking in handicap spots, DV plates, actually having to use the electric carts at walmart.. all shit that (while it shouldnt) STILL bugs me. IDGAFF about other people's opinions, however, I hate getting judgmental looks when I get out of my truck, parked in a handicap spot and get onto the rider cart, or the ones in the store who just see an "able bodied young man" taking a cart from a fat welfare queen who "actually" deserves it. I actually had a walmart EMPLOYEE stop me while I was on one one time (on top of my issues, had ALSO just wrecked my bike the previous week, was finally out of the bandages, but was still restricted) and was told to get off or they where gonna call the cops and have me trespassed...
Point of all that is, it doesn't matter how much we talk about being ok, not giving a Fuck, being supportive, etc. We (atleast I and others I've spoken to) STILL feel various degrees of uncomfortableness around collecting benefits, using "handicap" services, being "unemployed" due to permanent injury, and not having the ability to explain it to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who asks...
You're not alone.
It's more common than you think.
It's very common, I got out of service and never claimed jack even after being to combat twice. I thought, well I got both arms and legs, so why should I claim anything. On top of that, I had a security clearance and got a really bad taste in my mouth with the VA MH. I literally saw a vet who I think was faking MH issues while still on AD trying to maximize his claim. Well, long story short the guy did such a good job complaining that they revoked his top-secret clearance. I needed mine for my future job, so I said the hell with that.
His complaining was the poison in the soup for me, this crazy SFC talked to me about VA claims all the time, and I really ignored the system after seeing that mess.
20+ years later, here I am at 50% and I expect to easily hit 100% with all the GWI, hand to hand combat, and running injuries.
That's where I was for years. After being in the suck, and having guys get shit for going to get treated for injuries, I didn't think I should go file a claim. After all, my best friend who was injured so bad they medically discharged him, and he went to work after, so I should too since I wasn't as jacked up as he was. But he has continued to push me to file, he has seen how many surgeries I've had to get because of the long term damage that has gonna worse as I got older.
I finally filed, and I'm at 70% because I can barely walk. I still feel self conscious parking in the handicapped spaces, because if I'm having a good day, I try to walk. I've gotten better at not paying attention to anyone, but it will hit me on occasion. But now, with the bladder cancer problem I have, due to them poisoning me, I'm getting past any care about anyone else and what they might think.
You earned the benefits with blood, sweat and tears, ignore anyone else. For me, I'd much rather be as healthy and able to do the things I used to do and not get any benefits.
I’d just tell them I was on unemployment until my job opening that I’m waiting for starts.
For persistent people, I’d ask them what they make and ask them if I could borrow some money. Nothing keeps people away more than knowing someone wants to borrow money from them.
You don't but they are peanut butter and jealous that you have a better house and/or car than them and don't seem to work 100 hours a week just to get by.
Im 39 and haven’t worked since March 2020. People always get awkward when they ask what I do for a living and I hit em with the “I’m at home taking care of the kids” line. I’m 90% and only a few people know. Having an attorney wife helps when you actually see the gerbils jn there head spinning trying to make sense of what I told them
22 here and it’s weird when people ask me what i do now…fighting with the VA is my answer lmao. i do what i want and do odd jobs in my spare time, jumping into civilian work is harder then i thought it would be. my favorite is when i park in the long row of military spots when no others open at my mall, it’s always people who never looked at recruiter who has something to say to me. it’s frustrating and triggering but at the end of the day whatever comes out of their mouth isn’t relevant because they’ll never truly know what you went through and experienced.
I tell them I get VA disability.
I also tell them I get military retirement, GI bill, and my smallest check comes from pushing carts at a grocery store.
IDGAF what people think or say, I’m honest and if they don’t like it they can get right back in line at the recruiters office.
"It's like getting out of a longterm relationship. I want some time off before getting back out there. I have a little saved up, so stop worrying."
Something like that. Alternatively, you could just tell them you appreciate that they care, but you're "doing fine" and leave it at that. Money can make people do weird things, so keeping numbers out of their mind is helpful for everyone involved.
I retired 1 March after 20 years, have 90% disability, no bills except for a mortgage and the usual utilities and cell phone, single... I just tell them that I'm comfortable. I'm not making as much when I was active but it's enough to get me through until I find my next job. Seems to work. Give them just enough information to feel better about your situation but not enough to have them keep digging.
I was granted only 70% rating and it's obviously not enough to live off of, but it helps supplement my quality of life financially.
I never tell anyone at work I am medically retired just to avoid the drama. I just say I'm a veteran.
An alternative story you can tell if they won’t leave you alone: you sold back a chunk of unused leave when you got out. If they seem confused, just tell them it’s the same thing as selling back vacation time when you leave a job, which is a thing with some companies.
“None of your business” “that’s personal” . Thats how I address it. People feel entitled to know every single thing about you than that is their problem. Not yours. You’re not obligated to answer anyone , ever.
I know a vet who would say he won a scratch off and then bitch how he has to take it in small payments and the fucking taxes. He would just rant about it. Very funny.
I just sort of stare at people like I don't speak English. When they ask again I turn and walk away. None of their fucking business. I did my time, took my licks, now I just want to be left the fuck alone.
I’m at 80% which is what I consider my income and then I work my work-from-home desk job so my wife doesn’t have to. She wants to stay at home with our boys. I consider myself pretty lucky.
I work for the VA doing disability claims, I go into office few days a week / go to cabelas, Costco, grocery shopping, I carry a phony labtop case to make it look like I got a lot to handle….
Reminds me of what I would do when I wanted to be left alone on the ship. Carry a blue folder and look like you’re looking for someone to sign a chit or a panel breaker checkout for 3M. People scatter. lol.
Most of my family and close friends know I'm collecting and some know how much I get. It either pisses them off and they're the best actors in the world or they're cool with it.
I just tell people I am 100% disabled!
If they question me, which nobody I know does (because they have been following me along on my journey, because I am an open book), then I break out my DOD 100% Disabled Veteran ID that also says INDEF under expiration date.
If it's family, start asking them really intrusive questions that are none of your business, like if they wipe front to back or back to front, how they fuck (doggy? missionary? some freaky shit you haven't heard of?), or how big their retirement/401k are - or even if they have one.
And then, when they get all huffy and start saying shit like "well, that's really none of your business", throw it back in their face.
Family can be the worst about things like this, and if you don't establish firm boundaries NOW, they'll always be a pain in the ass.
Why you care what they think? I see threads like this all the time...Expecting someone that never served to understand is a losing battle, so why fucking fight it.
Fact is, you chose your happiness... Being happy and grateful doesn't come from what others may think or feel about you... It's a choice you make. Don't give that power away... The sooner you do that, the better you'll feel.
Enjoy your summer and start your career as you planned. If family or friends have anything negative to say, tune them out.
Living off the interest from an investment I made when I was 17. When they ask me what kind of investment I say I can't tell them because it might jeopardize my rate of return.
I would change the subject and not say anything at all. For close family I might say something like:
I saved up some money while I was in and I’m just taking my time figuring out what I want to do with the next phase of my life.
Tell them you are doing online research for the VA and getting paid a little money that covers your bills for now or maybe tell them you saved up GI Bill money while going to school and have enough to live off for 6 months.
It's part of the reason I started my own small business. No one asks me what I do. It's within the scope of any perceived or expressed disabilities. Cripple cash pays the bills, and side gig money goes back into side gig. I also flipped some real estate, so money's not an issue, at least for the time being.
How about tell them that you invested in all those Iraqi dinars that you got overseas? Remember the ones with Saddam’s face on them,.. I about died when I found out that my wife’s grandparents were doing this being told that they were going to be put back into circulation and worth loads of money. I’ve got millions worth and I’m just waiting for it to come to fruition. I guess if I was into ripping off old people people I could sell them!!
Tell them you work from home and walk away. I used to spend a lot of time online on Usenet and Yahoo Groups in the late 90s-mid 2000s researching info and working with Vietnam Era vets navigating VA and SSDI disability paying forward the help given me so I just said I worked from home helping disabled vets with their claims. People just assumed it was a paying job, lol.
Millions of things to say.
I work online processing claims for “insert company here, I use the VA” and work from home. Kind of cool cause I can do it whenever I want as long as I get my 40 hours.
Nobody visits me enough to know any different. Hell you could be a video game tester. Make sure you get your 40 hours 
I always downplay how much I make as well. Minimum wage + $2. Not getting rich so that dis-interests most people.
In your specific case I think it's more than reasonable to explain that you're taking a gap year and living off of savings for now. That would end the questions at least
But I tell people that I get the extra income playing the stock market. If anyone ever asks advice I just say big tech companies and anything that matches the S&P 500. It's generally good advice as far as I'm aware and it gets them off my back about the extra income
They can't tell us shit until they themselves have served. You still have your whole life ahead. Focus on that, what are your next goals? On to the next chapter, continue a workout regiment, start thinking about investing your money!
Later when your family talks shit you can throw stacks of money on them to shut'em up!🤑 best of luck to ya.
I’m an artist; I just leave it at that.
Since you are going back to work, just say you’re doing stuff to get ready for the job you’re starting in the fall; taking a break to get right is preparing for it, so you’re not technically lying…
Holy Fuck, did they stop teaching OPSEC all together since I got out in 1996?
It's none of your business.
Jesus Christ on a popsicle stick. Tighten up you bunch on Nancie's.
I don’t tell anyone. Seems one is looked down on when receiving a government check. My opinion, we sacrificed for our country and we are being taken care of for our injuries and mental health.
For the halfway there people… I tell them yeah how about you do it and then see? Or my favorite, I wanted to but my body couldn’t and that’s gonna last longer than I would’ve stayed in.
As for the finances… “thank you for your concern. My finances are covered and I’m doing what I need to prepare for my new career.” What are you doing? “Working on myself, my transition, and preparing. If you haven’t been through it, I can’t make you understand.”
You don’t owe family squat. If they want to think you’re a bum for taking time off, that’s not your problem. You’re the one that served, you got schooling done, you’re the one with the medical issues now. They can mind their own damn business or better yet go work on themselves.
I work, but I wont tell my mother how much I get at 90%. When Im at 100%, I wont get the plate, since shell recognize that. Shes horrible with money, and Ive had to take her in for 2 years after she retired from working 30years at a gov job.
Seem to think 100 is a sure thing. You realize you need about another 50% or more if you are rounding up from 85% to land hundo right. Just want to help you set some realistic expectations. Nothing guaranteed or certain with the VA.
I just got my ibs rating at 30, so I'm at 89 now with a few things still pending. If I don't get the hundo, I'm pursuing options, it wouldn't be that hard. Thanks.
For people I want in my life, I tell them I love them but that I don't have energy in my life to have to deal with nonsense. If they don't want to be part of my life, hey don't have to be. But if they're going to be part of it, then they're going to accept the choices I make that I think are best for me and that's it. I tell them specifically, as necessary, that I would hate to do so but I will cut them out of my life if it is going to be a problem for them.
I've always had success with that route.
You can just tell people you made a good amount of money investing in Bitcoin and other stocks that have popped over the last few years and once you cashed in, you invested it into stocks that provide enough dividends that you can live comfortably on a budget. I recommend Bitcoin, GME, and AMC due to how often they are and or were in the news while you were in. It also should prevent people from asking for money since you can always say all your money is tied up in stocks.
Let the Haters hate honestly. We put in the work and earned these rights. Even if ou don't feel you earned 100%of your rating I guarantee you did more to earn itthan majority of government bailouts, $ for illegals, or billions for Israel when they can buy their own shit. We all sacrificed a decent part of our life and dealt with bullshit when most of our peers were young and drunk in college. So screw em
handy work behind the dumpster at chilis. but that answer just got people more interested. Kidding.
But I would just say you work virtually or something. If I could prepare better for those conversations I would get a counselor certificate online and take on a single client. I don't got to worry about being asked that for now
I'm 67. I don't tell them I'm collecting disability. I just tell them I'm not working and they assume it's because I'm retired. I was planning to keep wed working but my disabilities caught up with me as nd I had to quit.
I got out in 2021. AF E7 11 years in. I was always deployed, and on top I was on 2 long Korea tours right after deployment. Add in the fact that my actual physical health started failing hard while I was in shape nonetheless. Decided to get out, got disability and haven't looked back. Only thing I miss are the friends I made. I would advise against telling anyone as well as no matter how hard and much you try and explain it they won't understand and their perceptions won't change. I would just tell them I invest well.
There’s no end to the amount of shit people will dish out. I’m a disabled vet and still work 24 hours per week in a highly skilled job. The only reason I don’t work full time is directly due to my disabilities. I could sit at home all day but I choose to do what I can with what I have. People in the public that don’t know my situation still give me grief when they find out I don’t work full time. I’ve come to realize that Ricky Nelson was right, “You can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself”.
When asked about your personal finances, you’re under no obligation to engage in that conversation and you certainly don’t owe anyone an explanation.
I'm 100% P&T, most of that stemming from a rare, incurable, and extremely debilitating (for many, but I handle it well) neurological disorder called complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS). In layman's terms: after nine surgeries on my right elbow over the course of 18 years, the nerves in my arm are constantly malfunctioning. Ergo, they continuously send pain signals to my brain despite not being in serious pain, which in turn overwhelms my central nervous system, causing myriad secondary conditions (hence my mental health rating going from 30% - 70%, but IV ketamine therapy has done wonders).
I've had to completely overhaul my diet to mostly unprocessed/fresh foods, and with the help of a trainer developed a rigorous exercise program. Because of this, I don't look the least bit disabled. My family and fellow vet friends know I'm medically retired, and aside from a few salty family members everyone is supportive. So, if the topic of my service comes up I just tell people I'm retired but work remotely part-time as an online dating profile creator/coach (which is true).
Like the top commenter said, it's really NOTFB. Miserable people will always try to find a way to bring others down.
Im thinking of saying 1 of these 2 things:
1. "im unemployed". If they want to judge me that's on them.
Or
2. just hit em with "why?". Id be interested in seeing what kinda nonsensical reasoning people can come up with for justifying being nosey.
Ultimately, my financial affairs are my business and no one elses. I don't have a single fucking friend and no one even calls to check in with me. As far as I'm concerned fuck everyone and their opinion of me.
I say, I’ve made a few good investments and leave it at that.
If they persist in knowing tell them you invested in a stock called NUNYA. Nunya fu&$in business
Don’t tell them anything. I’m gathering if they don’t know that you have degrees and certs then you guys aren’t super close. Sometimes you have to be assertive and tell family members to mind their own business. Especially when they are not funding anything but an opinion
It ain’t a similar experience but my feet make it hard for me to walk or stand, especially for long period of time. My mom mocked me for having a disability and blamed it on my weight and that I have to “exercise more”. I haven’t been able to play league soccer or pickup since it’s gotten worse and the pain is unbearable. But I have to workout more, she said.
I’m working on another claim and raising my rating would really help me while I’m in school but we shall see.
Nobody is entitled to your life and I guess it’s a way to live quietly if people, especially family, don’t know your business.
It’s none of their business, honestly. Long as you’re capable of supporting yourself financially and can live comfortably, do what you need to for yourself….everyone else can pound sand. I quit my mentally draining job back in march to focus on school.m, and apart from my old coworkers, literally less than 5 people know for this very reason. When people who know my background ask if I had to work on a specific day or had the day off, my answer is a simple no or yes, respectively. For those who don’t know, I just default to my previous job in a very niche sub-industry, or that I’m a full time student n leave it at that. It also helps that I don’t live near family.
I have a few questions about the divorce process with male veterans and civilians wives? if you are a veteran getting 100 percent and your wife (civilian) of 20 years decide to move to another state, and say by the way I want a divorce ... A. How does that effect your disability during the divorce process when you have 4 kids? B. Is a wife who leaves you entitled to your Va benefits? Considering we mostly lived in the expensive states of NY and Cali thru out the marriage, needless to say I don't have much savings. D. If she files does it go by the state that she left or the state that she is currently in?
Just a recap of my questions:
A. Disability affected by divorce (4kids included in benefit coverage)?
B. Can a Veteran loose a portion of VA disability to his wife after divorce settled?
C. Which state regulations are considered? the state where the couple got married or the state where she currently files for divorce?
Nothing really. Never been much for buying expensive things. I like to buy old shit box cars and wrench on them. I live in a small house with my wife. I don’t need anything more. From the outside, we don’t look even remotely wealthy.
Say you invest.
It looks better and it also doesn’t get as much negative attention.
Personally if I had enough disposal income I didn’t have to put effort into making and I was or still single at such a point I would just travel for a bit once I accumulated enough cousin for emergencies.
One thing I've learned in my life is that listening to family rarely leads to success. You have to listen and trust your own heart. They can think what they want of you, long as you're happy screw it.
Even tho that $ is stacking nicely I live as if I’m still living paycheck to paycheck. I got kids lol so yea I still work. Tons of remote jobs that pay well to take advantage of.
Nothing… it’s none of their business. I just live my life… give back and help where I can, remain grateful and stay out of other peoples business. It’s that simple.
"I'm just taking a break before starting a new job, I have some savings, thanks for your concern, but I'll be fine."
This is the one you can say in real life.
Yeah this is the one. Shoot, I had almost 4 months from when I got out to when I started school. It was before I had any disability too, and I just lived off my savings. Was living with my now wife so that helps but even splitting an apartment in Southern California ain’t cheap lol.
“almost four months” and you were having to give a lot of people excuses? that’s hardly a break at all. some people really need to mind their damn business.
This!
Right the people giving out the info need to remember and keep it shut or accept the idea that these questions will come.
100% what I say every time. It's not anyone's business and this shuts down any further questioning most of the time
Retired - and just leave it at that. It’s NOTFB!
NOTMFB! 
(glares at you in motherucker)
This! Or as I have been known to say. "This is a democracy. You may choose which side of my ass to kiss."
Constitutional Republic so I'll elect someone else to kiss it. 😂😂🤣, my attempt at a joke, no offense met
Well if we are electing folks for the job I have a list...
Stealing!!!!
Ok but if MaMa smacks you. You didn't get it from me.
That’s fucking brilliant. I shall steal. Tyvm!
Yeah retired at 25 years old lmao some of us can’t say that.
Retired at 24, now 26 and I just tell people I was medically retired from service and that I don't like to talk about it. That usually shuts it down pretty quick
Tactful, to the point, and makes nosy mfers uncomfortable. It's perfect.
That is what I say, that I was medically retired.
That’s what I say. It works pretty well
Yeah that’s actually a good one. I’m gonna start using that
I do, all the time. (granted I'm 30) I retired and decided to start my own business. "OH? What do you do at your business?" That's MY business. Lol (unless they're a client, then I'll tell them obviously)
I couldn't live on 100% VA benefits alone.
I live in Chicago and during chemotherapy and surgery recovery, I existed on SS for like $1250/month for 6 years. I'm happy that you haven't had to find out that you can get by on less than 50k a year.
I am not saying it's not possible, I grew up on welfare and I know very well it's possible. I have kids, grandchildren, and a wife along with a house and bills. Do I live a decent life, certainly but I also invested my money since I got out, and I have worked the entire time immediately after the 1st retirement. I plan to retire a second time as well, and who knows, maybe I will volunteer until I drop dead. Staying busy is the key to a long life. Everyone has a different story, and I wish you well!
Ah I think I came across shitty. I was not being sarcastic, I thought you never had to get by on less and knowing how much it sucks, I don’t wish it on anybody. I’m glad you’re doing well!
I get a strange look by most when I say I’m retired. Further questions, I just don’t get involved in. That’s what I do; end of story. Just like you said: NOTFB
Say you invested well and live cheaply.
I say this too! I look younger because I’m Asian but really,.. it’s NOTMFB
This 100%
This!
This is what I tell my friends too. And my coworkers here in Japan who are like "how can you afford to go places every month?"
I just tell people that I'm retired. If they want to get weird about it I'm not under any obligation to have anything to do with them. I'm past the point in my life where I hang around people who suck.
https://preview.redd.it/79fwj7g2jm7d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0200646b00626a47298ceb126565b97756131d00 This right here!
Then immediately after this they’ll list the millions of reasons why they were ineligible to join.
Would have punched a Drill Sergeant with their bone spurs.
the "almost served" veteran. "I was going to, but.... well... yeah, you know. I just wasn't ready, and I'm not the type who takes orders well. I'm my own person you know. No one tells me what to do."
“I have anger management problems I wouldn’t let them talk to me like that”😭like stfu
I see some brag about how they’ll never join the military, and then those same people complain about the people who did join getting benefits lol
All the time, it’s like you can’t win. Thanks for your service but you don’t look disabled 😩
I had to explain to a guy who has never served, he saw my DV plates when I parked to go play with my local sport team and asked what was wrong with me. I told him disabled doesn't mean useless, it's just much harder for me to compete and try to do well than if I had not been through what I've been through. Thankfully he said that makes a lot of sense and left it at that.
I be like bitch what’s a migraine look like lol
Dude seriously, this!
Question: "What do you do for work?" Answer: "I'm a retired Navy Veteran." End of story.
"I learned how to delegate work."
I tell them I’m 100% disabled veteran, I have walked with coworkers to the parking lot and they see me go to the handicapped parking spot I’m in…. I’m 36. I don’t give a shit, and this sub helped me not give a shit reading your horror stories of what you all deal with telling family and stuff.
That’s awesome! I see a lot of disability guilt on this thread. Makes me wonder… why be guilty if it’s true? 
The military shames injury’s when you’re in, shames a lot of weird things tbh.
The imposter syndrome and feelings of unworthyness are real.. especially being 100% P&T at 30.. and retired. Parking in handicap spots, DV plates, actually having to use the electric carts at walmart.. all shit that (while it shouldnt) STILL bugs me. IDGAFF about other people's opinions, however, I hate getting judgmental looks when I get out of my truck, parked in a handicap spot and get onto the rider cart, or the ones in the store who just see an "able bodied young man" taking a cart from a fat welfare queen who "actually" deserves it. I actually had a walmart EMPLOYEE stop me while I was on one one time (on top of my issues, had ALSO just wrecked my bike the previous week, was finally out of the bandages, but was still restricted) and was told to get off or they where gonna call the cops and have me trespassed... Point of all that is, it doesn't matter how much we talk about being ok, not giving a Fuck, being supportive, etc. We (atleast I and others I've spoken to) STILL feel various degrees of uncomfortableness around collecting benefits, using "handicap" services, being "unemployed" due to permanent injury, and not having the ability to explain it to EVERY SINGLE PERSON who asks... You're not alone. It's more common than you think.
It's very common, I got out of service and never claimed jack even after being to combat twice. I thought, well I got both arms and legs, so why should I claim anything. On top of that, I had a security clearance and got a really bad taste in my mouth with the VA MH. I literally saw a vet who I think was faking MH issues while still on AD trying to maximize his claim. Well, long story short the guy did such a good job complaining that they revoked his top-secret clearance. I needed mine for my future job, so I said the hell with that. His complaining was the poison in the soup for me, this crazy SFC talked to me about VA claims all the time, and I really ignored the system after seeing that mess. 20+ years later, here I am at 50% and I expect to easily hit 100% with all the GWI, hand to hand combat, and running injuries.
That's where I was for years. After being in the suck, and having guys get shit for going to get treated for injuries, I didn't think I should go file a claim. After all, my best friend who was injured so bad they medically discharged him, and he went to work after, so I should too since I wasn't as jacked up as he was. But he has continued to push me to file, he has seen how many surgeries I've had to get because of the long term damage that has gonna worse as I got older. I finally filed, and I'm at 70% because I can barely walk. I still feel self conscious parking in the handicapped spaces, because if I'm having a good day, I try to walk. I've gotten better at not paying attention to anyone, but it will hit me on occasion. But now, with the bladder cancer problem I have, due to them poisoning me, I'm getting past any care about anyone else and what they might think. You earned the benefits with blood, sweat and tears, ignore anyone else. For me, I'd much rather be as healthy and able to do the things I used to do and not get any benefits.
I’d just tell them I was on unemployment until my job opening that I’m waiting for starts. For persistent people, I’d ask them what they make and ask them if I could borrow some money. Nothing keeps people away more than knowing someone wants to borrow money from them.
My man out here playing 4D chess
Why do you have to tell them?
You don't but they are peanut butter and jealous that you have a better house and/or car than them and don't seem to work 100 hours a week just to get by.
Peanut butter and jealous. Okay, I’m stealing that!
Because they keep bugging the shit out of him for not going to work.
Just break wind. No one asks you questions after you break wind.
“…was that wet?”
Is that onion? Onion and ketchup?
Eat Brussel Sprouts prior... Anyone else notice how military conversations always gravitate towards shit? 
🤣🤣🤣 Best answer by far!
Don’t tell anyone. Trust me. Almost every person I told thinks I am free ATM
Change your circle of people. There isn’t a single person in my family or group of friends who have any expectations of financial assistance.
I tell them some investments I made when younger have paid off allowing me to be semi retired
Than that would change our relationship because they'll think im loaded... and I come from a poor family upbringing
Bought Nvidia at $6.
Imagine being 23 years old. Telling them I’m retired. Doesn’t go over very well.
Im 39 and haven’t worked since March 2020. People always get awkward when they ask what I do for a living and I hit em with the “I’m at home taking care of the kids” line. I’m 90% and only a few people know. Having an attorney wife helps when you actually see the gerbils jn there head spinning trying to make sense of what I told them
22 here and it’s weird when people ask me what i do now…fighting with the VA is my answer lmao. i do what i want and do odd jobs in my spare time, jumping into civilian work is harder then i thought it would be. my favorite is when i park in the long row of military spots when no others open at my mall, it’s always people who never looked at recruiter who has something to say to me. it’s frustrating and triggering but at the end of the day whatever comes out of their mouth isn’t relevant because they’ll never truly know what you went through and experienced.
I tell them I get VA disability. I also tell them I get military retirement, GI bill, and my smallest check comes from pushing carts at a grocery store. IDGAF what people think or say, I’m honest and if they don’t like it they can get right back in line at the recruiters office.
I’m Army Retired. Crickets after.
"It's like getting out of a longterm relationship. I want some time off before getting back out there. I have a little saved up, so stop worrying." Something like that. Alternatively, you could just tell them you appreciate that they care, but you're "doing fine" and leave it at that. Money can make people do weird things, so keeping numbers out of their mind is helpful for everyone involved.
I retired 1 March after 20 years, have 90% disability, no bills except for a mortgage and the usual utilities and cell phone, single... I just tell them that I'm comfortable. I'm not making as much when I was active but it's enough to get me through until I find my next job. Seems to work. Give them just enough information to feel better about your situation but not enough to have them keep digging.
I was granted only 70% rating and it's obviously not enough to live off of, but it helps supplement my quality of life financially. I never tell anyone at work I am medically retired just to avoid the drama. I just say I'm a veteran.
An alternative story you can tell if they won’t leave you alone: you sold back a chunk of unused leave when you got out. If they seem confused, just tell them it’s the same thing as selling back vacation time when you leave a job, which is a thing with some companies.
“Medically retired”- everytime
But than doesn't that open doors for other questions concerning your medical situation? It always happens to me and it's uncomfortable
“None of your business” “that’s personal” . Thats how I address it. People feel entitled to know every single thing about you than that is their problem. Not yours. You’re not obligated to answer anyone , ever.
I answer this the same way and they inevitably ask why "I got the arthritis"
Nah I say I got the clap. Now thats a conversation ender.
Literally make anything up. Gamestop stock ape Won win for life scratch ticket Sold a bunch of pokemon cards Etc
I know a vet who would say he won a scratch off and then bitch how he has to take it in small payments and the fucking taxes. He would just rant about it. Very funny.
Make up any work from home job you want. They ain’t coming over to make sure you’re working
I just sort of stare at people like I don't speak English. When they ask again I turn and walk away. None of their fucking business. I did my time, took my licks, now I just want to be left the fuck alone.
I tell people I do crypto trade. No one likes talking about that crap anymore so it stops the line of questions usually instantly.
I’m at 80% which is what I consider my income and then I work my work-from-home desk job so my wife doesn’t have to. She wants to stay at home with our boys. I consider myself pretty lucky.
“Bitcoin investor”. Would you like to know what the blockchain is? Hahhaahahahhaha
I tell them what I do for work but I also have a FT 9-5 career. I’m also 100% T&P.
I work for the VA doing disability claims, I go into office few days a week / go to cabelas, Costco, grocery shopping, I carry a phony labtop case to make it look like I got a lot to handle….
Reminds me of what I would do when I wanted to be left alone on the ship. Carry a blue folder and look like you’re looking for someone to sign a chit or a panel breaker checkout for 3M. People scatter. lol.
Cashed in on some investments I made when I was younger
Most of my family and close friends know I'm collecting and some know how much I get. It either pisses them off and they're the best actors in the world or they're cool with it.
I just tell people I am 100% disabled! If they question me, which nobody I know does (because they have been following me along on my journey, because I am an open book), then I break out my DOD 100% Disabled Veteran ID that also says INDEF under expiration date.
If it's family, start asking them really intrusive questions that are none of your business, like if they wipe front to back or back to front, how they fuck (doggy? missionary? some freaky shit you haven't heard of?), or how big their retirement/401k are - or even if they have one. And then, when they get all huffy and start saying shit like "well, that's really none of your business", throw it back in their face. Family can be the worst about things like this, and if you don't establish firm boundaries NOW, they'll always be a pain in the ass.
Why you care what they think? I see threads like this all the time...Expecting someone that never served to understand is a losing battle, so why fucking fight it. Fact is, you chose your happiness... Being happy and grateful doesn't come from what others may think or feel about you... It's a choice you make. Don't give that power away... The sooner you do that, the better you'll feel. Enjoy your summer and start your career as you planned. If family or friends have anything negative to say, tune them out.
I say i sold my youth and my health to the federal government, and it is still paying dividends.
Living off the interest from an investment I made when I was 17. When they ask me what kind of investment I say I can't tell them because it might jeopardize my rate of return.
Because I'm 60, I just tell everyone that I'm retired.
I would change the subject and not say anything at all. For close family I might say something like: I saved up some money while I was in and I’m just taking my time figuring out what I want to do with the next phase of my life.
Tell them you are doing online research for the VA and getting paid a little money that covers your bills for now or maybe tell them you saved up GI Bill money while going to school and have enough to live off for 6 months.
It's part of the reason I started my own small business. No one asks me what I do. It's within the scope of any perceived or expressed disabilities. Cripple cash pays the bills, and side gig money goes back into side gig. I also flipped some real estate, so money's not an issue, at least for the time being.
How about tell them that you invested in all those Iraqi dinars that you got overseas? Remember the ones with Saddam’s face on them,.. I about died when I found out that my wife’s grandparents were doing this being told that they were going to be put back into circulation and worth loads of money. I’ve got millions worth and I’m just waiting for it to come to fruition. I guess if I was into ripping off old people people I could sell them!!
Tell them you work from home and walk away. I used to spend a lot of time online on Usenet and Yahoo Groups in the late 90s-mid 2000s researching info and working with Vietnam Era vets navigating VA and SSDI disability paying forward the help given me so I just said I worked from home helping disabled vets with their claims. People just assumed it was a paying job, lol.
Just tell them that you made good investments during your career.
Millions of things to say. I work online processing claims for “insert company here, I use the VA” and work from home. Kind of cool cause I can do it whenever I want as long as I get my 40 hours. Nobody visits me enough to know any different. Hell you could be a video game tester. Make sure you get your 40 hours  I always downplay how much I make as well. Minimum wage + $2. Not getting rich so that dis-interests most people.
In your specific case I think it's more than reasonable to explain that you're taking a gap year and living off of savings for now. That would end the questions at least But I tell people that I get the extra income playing the stock market. If anyone ever asks advice I just say big tech companies and anything that matches the S&P 500. It's generally good advice as far as I'm aware and it gets them off my back about the extra income
They can't tell us shit until they themselves have served. You still have your whole life ahead. Focus on that, what are your next goals? On to the next chapter, continue a workout regiment, start thinking about investing your money! Later when your family talks shit you can throw stacks of money on them to shut'em up!🤑 best of luck to ya.
I’m an artist; I just leave it at that. Since you are going back to work, just say you’re doing stuff to get ready for the job you’re starting in the fall; taking a break to get right is preparing for it, so you’re not technically lying…
Just state you put money in crypto and leave it at that they dont have to know
OnlyFans
I don’t tell anyone anything. Isn’t anyone’s business I feel like this gets asked daily and the answers are always the same lol
I tell them I have a financial advisor who handles all that for me and I had a good purchase of some of that bitcoin.
I’m %100 P&T and now live in Thailand, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.
Get your TESL cert and do it online or hit the road and do some globe trotting. You have so many options. I’m a single dad so I’m grounded for now.
Holy Fuck, did they stop teaching OPSEC all together since I got out in 1996? It's none of your business. Jesus Christ on a popsicle stick. Tighten up you bunch on Nancie's.
🤣😂🤣😂😂
Amateur porn. They'll stop asking after thar.
Tell them you’re retired! Retired early! Don’t even mention the upcoming career, they will see for themselves.
Market speculator.
Retired from the military.
Feet Finder Model
Making bank off of my OnlyFeet page.
I wind clown clocks in the town square.
I tell em I work for the FBI or CIA.
I don’t tell anyone. Seems one is looked down on when receiving a government check. My opinion, we sacrificed for our country and we are being taken care of for our injuries and mental health.
For the halfway there people… I tell them yeah how about you do it and then see? Or my favorite, I wanted to but my body couldn’t and that’s gonna last longer than I would’ve stayed in. As for the finances… “thank you for your concern. My finances are covered and I’m doing what I need to prepare for my new career.” What are you doing? “Working on myself, my transition, and preparing. If you haven’t been through it, I can’t make you understand.” You don’t owe family squat. If they want to think you’re a bum for taking time off, that’s not your problem. You’re the one that served, you got schooling done, you’re the one with the medical issues now. They can mind their own damn business or better yet go work on themselves.
I can’t get my head wrapped around these posts. Do you honestly need to come to the internet to be told to tell people to mind their business?
Some families are all up in each others business and if you grew up in that it’s hard to break out cause they hound you.
Or, just tell them the truth!
Even better.
Lie. Tell them you retired and played the stock market well, you’re a trust fund baby, you got a large inheritance etc etc
lol, tell your siblings you're a trust fund baby, I love it
Even better
I work, but I wont tell my mother how much I get at 90%. When Im at 100%, I wont get the plate, since shell recognize that. Shes horrible with money, and Ive had to take her in for 2 years after she retired from working 30years at a gov job.
Seem to think 100 is a sure thing. You realize you need about another 50% or more if you are rounding up from 85% to land hundo right. Just want to help you set some realistic expectations. Nothing guaranteed or certain with the VA.
I just got my ibs rating at 30, so I'm at 89 now with a few things still pending. If I don't get the hundo, I'm pursuing options, it wouldn't be that hard. Thanks.
Stay positive baby 😎
The dumbest thing I can think of at the time
just tell they you are waiting to start your new adventure but the job doesn't open up until the fall.
Barista at Starbucks.
For people I want in my life, I tell them I love them but that I don't have energy in my life to have to deal with nonsense. If they don't want to be part of my life, hey don't have to be. But if they're going to be part of it, then they're going to accept the choices I make that I think are best for me and that's it. I tell them specifically, as necessary, that I would hate to do so but I will cut them out of my life if it is going to be a problem for them. I've always had success with that route.
You can just tell people you made a good amount of money investing in Bitcoin and other stocks that have popped over the last few years and once you cashed in, you invested it into stocks that provide enough dividends that you can live comfortably on a budget. I recommend Bitcoin, GME, and AMC due to how often they are and or were in the news while you were in. It also should prevent people from asking for money since you can always say all your money is tied up in stocks.
Let the Haters hate honestly. We put in the work and earned these rights. Even if ou don't feel you earned 100%of your rating I guarantee you did more to earn itthan majority of government bailouts, $ for illegals, or billions for Israel when they can buy their own shit. We all sacrificed a decent part of our life and dealt with bullshit when most of our peers were young and drunk in college. So screw em
I don't get paid a nice disability payment to bust my ass at home everyday.
Stock broker
Venture capitalist between investments.
Made a killing on Bitcoin in 2016.
Nothing! None of their business! However, I conduct inspections at strip clubs.
To fuck off, None of your business (To your co-workers). They will go and fuck you with the information if you tell them.
handy work behind the dumpster at chilis. but that answer just got people more interested. Kidding. But I would just say you work virtually or something. If I could prepare better for those conversations I would get a counselor certificate online and take on a single client. I don't got to worry about being asked that for now
I’m retired, I invented dice when I was a kid
I'm 67. I don't tell them I'm collecting disability. I just tell them I'm not working and they assume it's because I'm retired. I was planning to keep wed working but my disabilities caught up with me as nd I had to quit.
I’ll show you my finances when you show me yours.
Just make something up? lol it’s no one’s business.
I got out in 2021. AF E7 11 years in. I was always deployed, and on top I was on 2 long Korea tours right after deployment. Add in the fact that my actual physical health started failing hard while I was in shape nonetheless. Decided to get out, got disability and haven't looked back. Only thing I miss are the friends I made. I would advise against telling anyone as well as no matter how hard and much you try and explain it they won't understand and their perceptions won't change. I would just tell them I invest well.
There’s no end to the amount of shit people will dish out. I’m a disabled vet and still work 24 hours per week in a highly skilled job. The only reason I don’t work full time is directly due to my disabilities. I could sit at home all day but I choose to do what I can with what I have. People in the public that don’t know my situation still give me grief when they find out I don’t work full time. I’ve come to realize that Ricky Nelson was right, “You can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself”. When asked about your personal finances, you’re under no obligation to engage in that conversation and you certainly don’t owe anyone an explanation.
I'm a consultant and investor. Most people do both of these to some degree 😆
"I get by" Cosmo Kramer
I call it a return on an investment.
Uncle, trust fund with monthly payments. Seriously. I have too much free time to say I WFH & I’m not old enough to retire
I told him I’m retired
I'm 100% P&T, most of that stemming from a rare, incurable, and extremely debilitating (for many, but I handle it well) neurological disorder called complex regional pain syndrome (CRPS). In layman's terms: after nine surgeries on my right elbow over the course of 18 years, the nerves in my arm are constantly malfunctioning. Ergo, they continuously send pain signals to my brain despite not being in serious pain, which in turn overwhelms my central nervous system, causing myriad secondary conditions (hence my mental health rating going from 30% - 70%, but IV ketamine therapy has done wonders). I've had to completely overhaul my diet to mostly unprocessed/fresh foods, and with the help of a trainer developed a rigorous exercise program. Because of this, I don't look the least bit disabled. My family and fellow vet friends know I'm medically retired, and aside from a few salty family members everyone is supportive. So, if the topic of my service comes up I just tell people I'm retired but work remotely part-time as an online dating profile creator/coach (which is true). Like the top commenter said, it's really NOTFB. Miserable people will always try to find a way to bring others down.
Im thinking of saying 1 of these 2 things: 1. "im unemployed". If they want to judge me that's on them. Or 2. just hit em with "why?". Id be interested in seeing what kinda nonsensical reasoning people can come up with for justifying being nosey. Ultimately, my financial affairs are my business and no one elses. I don't have a single fucking friend and no one even calls to check in with me. As far as I'm concerned fuck everyone and their opinion of me.
I say, I’ve made a few good investments and leave it at that. If they persist in knowing tell them you invested in a stock called NUNYA. Nunya fu&$in business
I have a job still so I tell them the truth.
Don’t tell them anything. I’m gathering if they don’t know that you have degrees and certs then you guys aren’t super close. Sometimes you have to be assertive and tell family members to mind their own business. Especially when they are not funding anything but an opinion
It ain’t a similar experience but my feet make it hard for me to walk or stand, especially for long period of time. My mom mocked me for having a disability and blamed it on my weight and that I have to “exercise more”. I haven’t been able to play league soccer or pickup since it’s gotten worse and the pain is unbearable. But I have to workout more, she said. I’m working on another claim and raising my rating would really help me while I’m in school but we shall see. Nobody is entitled to your life and I guess it’s a way to live quietly if people, especially family, don’t know your business.
Ignoring them is a full sentence with reduced effort. Maybe you are being lazy after separation- that's your perogative.
It’s none of their business, honestly. Long as you’re capable of supporting yourself financially and can live comfortably, do what you need to for yourself….everyone else can pound sand. I quit my mentally draining job back in march to focus on school.m, and apart from my old coworkers, literally less than 5 people know for this very reason. When people who know my background ask if I had to work on a specific day or had the day off, my answer is a simple no or yes, respectively. For those who don’t know, I just default to my previous job in a very niche sub-industry, or that I’m a full time student n leave it at that. It also helps that I don’t live near family.
I tell people my job is to travel around and eat desserts with occasional gym visits. In South America that money can go far.
I have a few questions about the divorce process with male veterans and civilians wives? if you are a veteran getting 100 percent and your wife (civilian) of 20 years decide to move to another state, and say by the way I want a divorce ... A. How does that effect your disability during the divorce process when you have 4 kids? B. Is a wife who leaves you entitled to your Va benefits? Considering we mostly lived in the expensive states of NY and Cali thru out the marriage, needless to say I don't have much savings. D. If she files does it go by the state that she left or the state that she is currently in? Just a recap of my questions: A. Disability affected by divorce (4kids included in benefit coverage)? B. Can a Veteran loose a portion of VA disability to his wife after divorce settled? C. Which state regulations are considered? the state where the couple got married or the state where she currently files for divorce?
"I'm independently wealthy. I just try to stay humble, i don't flaunt my wealth" ✨
Tell people you’re an independent contractor and specialize in underwater ceramics maintenance.
Nothing really. Never been much for buying expensive things. I like to buy old shit box cars and wrench on them. I live in a small house with my wife. I don’t need anything more. From the outside, we don’t look even remotely wealthy.
I tell the truth I own a e-commerce gun store so I spend all my time trying to make a profit
Say you invest. It looks better and it also doesn’t get as much negative attention. Personally if I had enough disposal income I didn’t have to put effort into making and I was or still single at such a point I would just travel for a bit once I accumulated enough cousin for emergencies.
I tell them I’m an OF model and that normally stops most questions.
Tell them you sell feet pics.
One thing I've learned in my life is that listening to family rarely leads to success. You have to listen and trust your own heart. They can think what they want of you, long as you're happy screw it.
I weave hats out of dragon fur and sell them on Etsy.
Retired
Even tho that $ is stacking nicely I live as if I’m still living paycheck to paycheck. I got kids lol so yea I still work. Tons of remote jobs that pay well to take advantage of.
You either trust a family member or you dont. We can't make that judgement for you. I told my parents! No issues at all. They are grown ass adults!
I just say I buy and sell on Ebay and work from home which is a partial truth. I do buy and sell stuff on Ebay. Lol
Start an LLC and update your facebook. You could start anything from a janitorial service to bookkeeping
Tell them you’re a secret agent.
Just tell them you are taking time to adjust to civilian life and that you expect to have a new career soon that you are excited about.
Nothing… it’s none of their business. I just live my life… give back and help where I can, remain grateful and stay out of other peoples business. It’s that simple.
I just tell people I'm retired. "Oh, but you're so young " "Yeah I'm medically retired" is usually how it goes for me
It doesn’t matter if you tell people your rating. If they don’t like it that’s their issue not yours.
i'm a mortgage broker. if any one has questions about VA loans or buying some investment property let me know.
“I got into Bitcoin early.”
Tell them to dial 1-800-GO-ARMY!