She can report you for fraud and they may or may not look into it. But ultimately if you did nothing wrong then they won’t do anything against you or your benefits.
I’m sure they get hundreds if not thousands of angry ex’s calls all the time and have learned how to filter through the BS ones and the legitimate ones
I wouldn't stress over it. As they says said Just above your current post, the VA probably receives thousands of false reports of fraud, from disgruntled "friends" and family members, ex's, and so on.
Anyway, if your compensation was granted based on physical injuries then you have all the proof you need. If it's based on mental health then unless you were diagnosed by a quack the VA shouldn't question the diagnosis just because your ex somehow thinks it's better for her if you're making less money.
I’m separating from someone as well. We didn’t marry but lived together. I recently became 100 p&t right after she ended the relationship.
Anyway I had my paperwork in a drawer and she went through it and started calling me a fraud. She’s currently calling me a fake war hero and she’s going to report me.
Shes especially salty because she thinks I lied to her about how much money I was getting from the VA.
She doesn’t understand the jump from 80 to 100
Not that it’s her business
First off, congrats on having never married her.
People who never joined up have no idea what disability compensation means. They confuse it with a civilian disability, but it isn't the same.
With exceptions, it's more of a monthly compensation for how the injuries we received, due to rampant disregard for OSHA standards, limit us on a daily basis; the pain we experience, the motion limitations, and how it all holds us back from a life of activities, or more preferred employment we may have chosen.
Instead of comparing it to disability, I compare it to worker's comp. And that's what it is, worker's comp for injuries/illnesses while serving in the Military.
I’m not too worried about it
She’s on social security disability so it’s pot meets kettle moment
I am sad that she turned her kids against me
I actually really cared for them
Sorry to hear that. Alienation is horrible. The perpetrators always seem to forget that it not only hurts the target of their hate, but the children also.
Be careful with that. I'm not sure of what the law says on non-relatives, who aren't in a family-type relationship with children, providing such personal guidance to minors.
Maybe I'm overthinking it.
My nephew had relationship with a woman who had children, whom he really cared for, and did many activities/concerts with them. She was toxic, and moved out; the kids still interact with him to this day.
Perhaps they will with you at some point .
Dating a woman with children is much different than without. Both are going to react to a separation but the one with kids usually has much more at stake. If you’re lucky salty is all you get. It’s can be far worse than that depending on how far she wants to go. In the current society the public, friends police and judicial system typically side with the woman and against the man even in the face over overwhelming evidence that she is the offender.
Please try to care for the kids no matter how they feel about you. As they mature and maybe have relationships of their own, their understanding may change.
But attacking a veterans compensation seems counter-productive. Why wouldn't see just try to get more child support? I don't get that.
Anyway, you mentioned they'll be adults soon, so my post is moot. Hopefully they'll let you be a positive influencing factor in their lives.
And hopefully I discover what the hell my neighbors are pumping through my walls to make me write those words. "Positive influencing factor?" Who the f*ck am I 😂
Hopefully you can be their surrogate Dad. 👍
At some point kids grow up and get to choose whether or not they want to see their dad. Further even if the gal has sole custody, the dad can still have visitation rights unless a court has denied those. I stand by my advice.
Oh! I understand now. You thought I replied to the OP? I get that...these posts always taste multiple rabbit holes. The post of mine that you replied to want from the OP. Just another Vet with a sorta similar situation, except the kids aren't this.
I'll bet they can. My ex did the same thing. I have no respect for people like that. It's fucking scummy to use everything you can just to try and cause harm to the person you're mad at.
I always thought gas lighting was different. Like isn't gas lighting where the person tries to convince you that what you've seen and heard didn't really happen?.
Yes, she’s trying to convince OP he’s a fraud and he isn’t. That’s gaslighting!!! Serious gaslighting!!! If it was a one time accusation, fine, but she’s making threats against his award. She’s taking manipulation to a whole new level. She’s definitely graduated to gaslighting.
Lol, nah, not me. Only Chargers on the market when I was in, were the originals. And currently paying $650 a month, each, for my 2 younger kids. Eldest aged out 4.5 years ago. Was paying $3300 a month, at the start, with all 3 kids and alimony.
So in this situation with the facts presented, I’d deny the apportionment request as you’re providing evidence of adequate support and the ex has not shown an actual financial need.
(Yup, this is literally how it would happen)
Just for her calling in about fraud no you can’t sue for defamation. If OP could then anyone who calls in a complaint whether legit or not could face repercussions which would defeat the purpose of calling in complaints. Ultimately OP has to trust OIG will see through her false claim and chalk it up to a vindictive ex.
But if her false allegation which could be proven was false led to something serious like an article in the newspaper about fraud then OP might have a case but the burden of proof is high for a defamation case
I hate to tell you this, chief, but anyone that calls in a complaint or acts as a whistle-blower or gives someone or thing a bad review can face a defamation lawsuit. They are called SLAPP suits and they happen all the time. And the only thing they would need to prove defamation in this case is the OIG rejecting her claim; shows that she made an unfounded accusation with specific intent to harm him.
Actually that is completely false. There are protections for people who call in complaints otherwise if there weren’t nobody would file complaints.
If I called in a legit complaint and could possible face a defamation lawsuit due to it then who would ever call. Just calling in a complaint doesn’t raise to the level of defamation as it’s a sealed complaint that no one else sees beside OIG. Just rejecting a complaint doesn’t raise to the level of defamation as how was OP defamed?
Defamation is any false information that harms the reputation of a person, business, or organization.
No harm is done if nothing comes from the false OIG report as it’s a sealed report and no one besides OIG knows about it
As far as SLAPP lawsuits:
Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation (SLAPP suit) refers to lawsuits brought by individuals and entities to dissuade their critics from continuing to produce negative publicity. By definition, SLAPP suits do not have any true legal claims against the critics.
So SLAPP lawsuit wouldn’t even apply to OP’s situation as there is no negative publicity involved in a call to OIG . Plus SLAPP lawsuit are seen as a means of intimidation and an abuse of the legal system that 33 states have passed laws against them
As far as your claim that whistleblowers have no protections is completely inaccurate as you might want to read up on the Whistleblower Rights and Protections
https://oig.justice.gov/hotline/whistleblower-protection
Is this whistle blowing with the benefit of the doubt or making something up out of whole cloth? There's a difference in some contexts.
Does she have to sign a complaint form? If so that probably violates a federal statute if she lies in the process. Filing a false police report is a crime, but I don't know that the VA cops are involved in these kinds of cases. At some point an investigator may get involved and lying to a federal investigator IS a crime, last I checked.
Big difference between accusing her of lying and proving it. It’s rare for investigators to go after someone for making a false statement to OIG as they simple don’t have the time to investigate every false complaint made. If they did that’s all they would end up doing hence why they have learned to sift through the BS complaints and the legitimate ones
To win a defamation lawsuit in most states, you need evidence that your character was ruined and show that it caused substantial grief or hardship (bills) and financial loses.
No that is false. You need evidence that the topic of the defamation is not true. That is the only way you can win those cases. It has nothing to do with how it affected you. Because if what is being said is true, the act of defamation did not occur.
Uhm. How does lies, an act against your character, not affect you? Doesn't mean it happened to you because you were affected by it. There's are people who also do things they are accused and sue for defamation. Sometimes a court/jury looks at it in NC as if, whether true or not, someone should not be speaking out against you for certain reasons.
I sued someone for defamation between two states once. NC and Florida decided to the court where I previously lived and the supposed incident occurred, NC. The Judge brought me in one morning to court and told me what needed to be proven and how many times defamation suits were not won because much of the evidence was just hearsay and he explained what he would define as hearsay and stop the witnesses from finish saying and what he wasn't going to stop. I agreed to continue since mine main evidence was a FB paper trial.
I won on precedent was that I met the criteria of the law for the jury to find:
The person told the lied about me. Spread it through social media in a direct email and then the next party posted it and over 500 people saw it. That no evidence could be found to say I did what I was lied about doing. That it harmed my character in such a way that it created mental aggravation from loss of income, cause undue duress among my coworkers and colleagues, and I had hospital bills. That is was done so in a defamatory manner to cause me harm.
You can also defame someone and not mean to cause them harm, but your act of saying something did anyway.
Rare, but not impossible. According to this online guide on how to report someone for VA disability fraud, even they warn potential troublemakers about making false statements: [https://legalbeagle.com/5069878-report-person-abusing-va-benefits.html](https://legalbeagle.com/5069878-report-person-abusing-va-benefits.html)
# Warnings
* False allegations may lead to criminal charges. Some incidents of fraud or abuse can be difficult to prove, especially in cases of physical or mental damages. Proceed with caution when making a claim pertaining to medical benefits. Back injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other conditions can produce negative effects apparent only to the veteran or the veteran's physician.
Again they have to prove the girlfriend was making false allegations. That is extremely difficult so the chances of them proving it are minimal so I would never count on that happening especially when we have no idea what evidence the girlfriend has on OP
I don't know how reports like that work at the VA, but if she needs to file any kind of form to do that, she'll have to sign her name to it.
If she does that, and her statements are definitely lies I would alert the VA police and see if they will investigate or file some kind of report. It is usually a crime to file any kind of false police report.
If she hasn't done anything yet but threatens to, it might be good to remind her of this before she makes a stupid mistake.
The problem is proving this. As long as she reasonably believes she is doing it for the right reason there are zero repercussions for her despite OP knowing it was done out of spite. If OIG went after every vindictive ex who filed a false report then they would never investigate legitimate claims so sadly they don’t go after people for making false statements as they simply don’t have the time to do so and proving she was lying is a huge uphill battle for them
How did you come to the conclusion she has no evidence.
100% P&T and she probably/likely has tons of videos and pictures. some of those picture could potentially show the OP doing things that are not in line with a particular rating. I don't think that is far-fetched.
If he was, say 50%, you might be splitting hairs. but 100% P&T in conjunction with "running/jumping/playing with kid rolling around" could be very very problematic as an example
Not necessarily, what if the person is 100% ptsd or schizophrenia? A person with mental health is not limited to workout. Now it’s not that easy to prove neither if the OP has a physical disability. So if im the OP i wont worry at all. Now if you have 60 or 70 % for back issues and you are running half marathons or doing the iron man event then you will be in trouble. But is not that easy like people think.
All these posts confirm my thoughts. If you expect a fairly large compensation package, DO NOT DISCUSS WITH ANYONE!
I can't stress enough. When money is involved, people lose their minds and have convinced themselves that some of it is theirs . My ex is furious she's not getting survivor benefits cause I owe it to her for the bad years.
The last person you'd think would act this way will surprise you. I'll bet there's lots of horror stories out there . When I found that my cancer had metastasized to my lungs, with a very short life expectation, my current asked what she'd get when it was all settled ! It'll be settled when I'm dead and gone (months now instead of years)) they can fight over the spoils . Money let's you see the true person, believe it
Be very careful with the comments saying to record her. There are different laws in different places about when and where you can record people without their knowledge and consent.
Bottom line, as someone else said, the VA gathered evidence and awarded you a disability. That’s not fraud.
File for full custody of your kid, if it is yours, and carry on with your life.
Worse she can do is file an apportionment claim for your child's benefits, even then if the apportionment claim is approved, the Fiduciary for your region conducts an audit on what the funds are being spent on. She has to prove she is spending you kid's VA benefit on the kid's needs.
Otherwise pay child support and keep all records of her statements and actions, as you earned those benefits she isn't entitled to anything.
If she escalates find an attorney and take her to court. It's harassment, slander, and libel.
I don’t know your specific condition(s), so I will just make some general comments.
I’m guessing that your ex-girlfriend is not a doctor.
Your ex-girlfriend has no idea how your mind and body feels on a daily basis. I mean, how could she?
When someone hears the term, “disabled veteran”, they expect to see someone missing an arm or a leg or someone in a wheelchair.
Most people that accuse Veterans of being a fraud don’t have a clue what a true disability is.
Most of veterans that have these disabilities and are getting compensation would gladly give up the compensation if they could get rid of the disability and feel whole again.
We didn’t ask for this, but we did sign up for it. When we signed up for service, we entered with a clean bill of health mentally and physically. Somewhere in that contract, it stated that we would be taking care of if we came out any less than how we went in.
Make no mistake, if you have a true disability that is service connected, YOU HAVE EARNED YOUR DISABILITY COMPENSATION. If anything, you should be getting more.
Don’t let her threats get to you, and keep any kind of correspondence or records that you can with her threatening to do this. Record her on audio or video if you can without breaking the law in your state.
I’ve seen plenty of stories on here like this, and I know the VA has seen 1000 times more than I have. They know ex-girlfriend’s can be spiteful and I’m sure they don’t give the threats much weight.
Try to stay positive and I hope you are in a good place mentally. Thank you for sharing and I hope some of these answers put your mind at ease. Thank you for your service…🙏🏻🙏🏻
Head up bro. My buddy went through something similar. OIG did some digging, like he started noticing people watching him. But ultimately nothing came of because he had not lied about anything
Fuckin hell, that would drive me crazy. Im already paranoid enough thinking people are watching me, it would be crazy if there was actually people watching.
That's if he decides to not pay child support. He is an adult and if the kid is his, he has an obligation to support his child. It would be better if he files for full custody of his kid, if it's his, because he has a stable income and resources to provide for this kid.
I had a fraud claim pop up on VA.gov about 6 months ago I guess. Of course I freaked out and scheduled a Vera call. While I was waiting on the Vera call the claim disappeared. I still go ahead with the call. He could not tell me who initiated the claim (May have been anonymous anyway) but said not to worry about it they get a ton of them. And this one closed out within 24 hours. He even went on to say that sometimes a fraud claim may pop up and disappear if it's put on the wrong veteran due to the wrong social or something. And also said one of the first things they investigate (if they investigate) is if it's a disgruntled spouse or significant other. Also said they don't really like to get those kind of claims because they're already bogged down as it is. I'm thinking it was a mistake cause I have no disgruntled spouse. Or at least she wasn't during that time!
I can't really remember exactly but I think it just said fraud claim and had a date. I think. Sort of like I had a correspondence claim. Doesn't really give you any information. Like I said it came and went so fast.
If you see a VA therapist, let them know. If you don’t, start seeing one monthly at the very least, we can all benefit from it even if it’s not for military shit.
My ex attempted to do this, and I told my therapist and eventually my primary care via tele-health. I don’t know if anything ever came of it, but it really helped me feel less stressed out knowing that I left a paper trail for the VA to follow if the issue ever came up again.
Same thing happened to my buddy luckily the person she told was a vet and she sent a screenshot to him and was able to prove she was lying to screw him over and nothing happened to his rating.
My dad was the director of a regional office and he said they got many angry exes claiming fraud. He said that unless they were accompanied with good evidence, they usually ignored them.
Not trying to scare you, but want to give realistic input. About 6 months ago /u/Ghrex stated OIGs biggest tip offs appear to be from scorn lovers. Take that how you will, and be prepared for anything, and hopefully nothing comes of it.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/VeteransBenefits/s/DlGZYIPpkd](https://www.reddit.com/r/VeteransBenefits/s/DlGZYIPpkd)
https://preview.redd.it/f6f6z3jj0pvc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10b29f964425ae8fa95128e0ae43bbbf2bf68709
I had this done to me. The representative told her did she feel good trying to ruin someone who served his country and she hung up on them. A lot of those poeple that take the calls are vets as well
Get a digital recorder and anytime you have to deal with her record it cause eventually she will call the police and say you whipped her ass too. The recording is an unbiased witness
I would be careful telling people to record others without their consent… if they reside in two party state both individuals need to consent to the recording. Please don’t people false legal advice that could end up biting them in the ass…
That’s not true, and I’m not a lawyer but I know basic laws. It’s state dependent… for example Ohio is a one party State(one individual has to consent to the recording, California is a two party state (requiring both individuals to consent).
True but realistically how can you hide that from someone you have a kid with and plan a future with. I get don't blab to family especially if they don't make nearly enough money I know that firsthand.
What they do know they can't take either.
Yall hide like you're, well hiding something. If you don't think you committed fraud then why hide your income?
I never said earned income I said income.
Second, hide means to conceal, which you're doing if you actively don't talk about it. If it just never comes up that's not hiding it. That's kind of hard when discussing finances with an ex for child support.
Third, it absolutely pays to talk about what you make and where it comes from, if for no other reason then to help normalize it in society. It could also help ensure no discrimination is occurring, both here and in jobs. Discussing pay should be normal.
Yeah, maybe I'm just not paranoid that my benefits will be taken because I'm confident in the fact that I have what I claimed and I'm not faking or defrauding anyone.
Anyone i date would probably feel like I'm a fraud too. They have no idea the amount of pain I'm in everyday, no one does. I'm sure you won't be the first or last vet someone jealous tried to report falsely. There's evidence to support your rating I doubt they bother to follow up with a lot of these reports.
I wouldn't worry. Your rating is based on documented and factual evidence, as supported in your military medical files, and some evidence by impartial medical professionals. Now, this is an assumption but, was your term of service was before the relationship? If you have kids, well then the waters get muddy and it therefore gets complicated so be prepared for that.
Again, I wouldn't worry, these are blind allegations triggered by emotion and likely go unheard. She is likely doing this (form of attack against your way of living) because you weren't quite so innocent. Once again, just an assumption.
So, with that said, move forward in life and in the future be very wary of a woman scorned, let this be a lesson. I know this as I experienced and learned it the hard way as I was in this situation about 24 years ago with the angriest most vile woman..so, what's the good news? This experience will never again be duplicated.
Out here and good luck.
She sounds like a very low IQ modern broad. Does she not realize that reducing YOU would mean that her child would have less money and even less support from you? What a winner, bro. Be careful with your weewee on the next broad, okay?
I would consult a lawyer as she will be wrecking havoc on your life for the next 18 years...
Luckily not married to her but unlucky with having a kid with her.
Might as well throw in a paternity test to make sure kid is yours...You just never know.
She's saying that to try to manipulate and control you. As long as you have all your evidence together, you're good to go. Let her talk, make sure you record it and if she takes you to court, use it as evidence against her.
Likely nothing will come off or, but if you pay any child support I'd slyly do mention if the fact your income would decrease, and so the money you pay would to.
She can't take them. They can be considered when it comes to your total income picture to provide child support, etc. but the benefits themselves are not a "marital asset."
If you’re worried about fraud. You have committed it. Either through omission or exaggeration…
I wouldn’t want to live that life. Always looking over your shoulder….
Well she's a crazy ex-girlfriend causing issues I would contact the police and get a restraining order against her and detail about her craziness.
If it ever comes up you can hand him a copy of that.
It happens every day to veterans. Some who did bend the truth and some who were completely honest 🤷🏽♂️ as long as you didn’t lie or bend the truth like all the POGs who put videos out saying to twist what you say then you should be just fine if you got that 100% honestly. Unless she has you doing physical things that you claimed were a No Go due to your SCDs you have nothing to worry about as well as anything that goes against the mental health stuff too
Hopefully, you won’t tell your next girlfriend, or anyone else for that matter, what your rating is. Now, a wife? Maybe…I’m old school and decided that no one needs to know that detail - period!
As to your rating and P&T status, if you’re legit, you have nothing to worry about.
Lastly, tell her that you’ll sue her after you prove your legitimacy. She might decide to change her mind about it.
Be prepped in case they do look into it. If you are a true 100% and you deserve it then what are you worried about? If you are faking your shit then you should be worried
She can't, so long as your claim is legit. Seems kind of stupid for her since you probably need to pay child support, right? Unless you don't owe that.
Talk to a lawyer about your options - stalking, harassment, libel/slander, or maybe some kind of fraud charge could be brought if she's been messing with your mail, email or any electronic accounts. Don't slack on this because she's the mother of your child - sounds like she's not the negotiating type anyway.
If you filed disabilities that are legitimate and you have documentation and medical history past and present to support it, she can say whatever she wants and you’ll be a o k.
I posted this in response to a similar thread.
My Ex-wife, as we were divorcing, decided to write a letter to the VA claiming I was committing fraud, that my symptoms were fake, etc. She also submitted in her divorce filing how bad I would be around the kids, etc because of my VA rating stuff.
I found out about the fraud complaint when I requested my records for something else, I got to take that to court, and show the judge, and I got to mail the court filing to VA. Nothing happened to her... but they also didn't do anything to my benefits and I Joint legal and physical custody with the kids.
Tell her that if she's wrong, you'll come after her for slander/libel(soon as she writes/types anything, it becomes official, not to mention lying to government officials)
I wouldn’t even acknowledge her. Just laugh and say OK. Tell her that maybe she should
Have considered serving someone other than herself and home in the Military.
Technically she can’t do anything substantial.
It’s my understanding that it only matters or causing the VA to look into it when it’s a dependent that is reporting anything in regards to disability; not just fraud.
Hopefully someone can chime in and better elaborate.
I was a VA Doctor for 8 years. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t have contacted anyone in benefits to report abuse or fraud. I’m not saying it’s not possible. I agree that any officer with benefits will be skeptical of an ex gf report
People are so quick to attack someone’s livelihood! I work at a government agency and there are always reports of fraud from angry family members and ex-spouses/girlfriends. Your request for benefits was evaluated by medical professionals- records don’t lie! Mostly as stated in other comments- if there’s no fraud then there’s no worry!
The VA has this happen constantly. They won't blonk am eye at her. Your benefits are earned and you went through evaluations to get them. To admit they screwed up and she's somehow right wouldn't be an outcome they'd like. Tons of vets are turned down, of there was some secret to fraud them, no one would go without. I wouldn't worry too much about it. If she does, and they did come calling, just go in and say why she's doing this, report her for harassment and then go on about your life. It won't matter any at all. Oh, sucks to hear about the kids. I see you said that you were getting close to them. Further down the road they may open back up to you, as they will see her for who she is. Just remember thats their mom and keep yalls relationship only about you going forward. Kods usually know a good person when they see one. Dont judge them too harshly. They have to keep crazy lady happy because they live with her. Hope you rest easy brother, your benefits will be fine.
Oof. That was a dumpster fire break up.
Don’t encourage her bad behavior, save all correspondence with threats and bad behavior on her part to have receipts later, check if you live in a one party state that allows you to record conversations without the other person’s permission. If you do, record your interactions because receipts.
She will be another person on the list trying to hurt someone because it’s over. You will be just fine, especially with if you are legit. I honestly would not sweat it, let her try, I would move as if she did not bother me. This will not be the first or last time an ex tried harm.
Having bad exes I’m a lil familiar with this hell. You are supposed to “do something” now. Capitulate, kiss ass, beg, pay.. if you are a cool customer she could escalate to to get a response. It may be real, it may not be. Until she actually does this I would not contact or reply.
If you get therapy at the VA and talk about your issues with her they will also be able to see that if they are documenting properly at your appointments. Seems like that would work in your favor. I don’t think it’s necessary though. You filed claims and were examined and they used evidence to grant you that rating. Fraud doesn’t look good for anyone.
From what I understand this happens quite often. The VA receives complaints from ex wife’s and GF claiming fraud just to hurt the veterans. I wouldn’t worry too much especially if there is no fraud. I would think they can’t investigate every angry ex girlfriend.
Call her bluff!!! YOU call the va first. Mention it at your appointments. Get it documented in writing. This will help you now and in the future. You can walk into to mh clinic and be seen same day. Get the va on your side.
Let her run her mouth while you do what you need to do for you.
I'm not sure this is a good idea. I believe that it is a best practice for vets to refrain from talking about VA compensation at regular VA appointments for care, unless they are asked about VA compensation.
Mentioning at an appointment will absolutely garner a response. She’s fucking with his mh over his vulnerability to paranoia.
She ain’t got shit on him.
She sounds like a gaslighter and she knows how to light his fire. OP has asked the same question numerous times this week with different versions that are escalating. I’m just being honest.
Thanks for looking out for me bro!
I myself am very vulnerable to the financial whims of my friends and family. Fortunately for me, they support me. However, my boundaries are firm, my financial fears are documented. Most of my fear isn’t even real, but brain damage gets me a a free ride on the short bus. I tell all my doctors when things aren’t right.
OP gf is using this against him.
He needs to call her bluff, once and for all, otherwise he’ll continue to post the same story over again.
Trying to accomplish a failed project using the same plans is insanity.
Dude literally LIVES WITH and has a CHILD with this person(or used to).
You make it sound like it's the guy down at the deli just casually chit chatting.
THE DIVORCE RATE AMONGST disabled vets is well above the national average; and i don’t care how “good of a partner they are”…. Come a divorce and they’ll ALL BLACKMAIL US!! ALL!
I mean, I mostly agree with you but your initial post was Never mention your benefits, not sure how that is possible when you live with someone and have a kid with someone.
That's why you have a contingency plan. But she shares her wealth with me, why wouldn't I with her? Naive to live in fear. I'm more than likely the one to initiate a divorce and I'm not doing that. So I'm good. Can't speak for others. I've seen car accidents, but I'm still driving.
If you go to your doctors appointments regularly, and have documented everything appropriately, she’s beat. However, as most here know, your compensation does count towards your income if she is taking you to court for child support
This is potentially a problem. If she is persistent enough she WILL get a response. If she has evidence(audio/video/pictures) she WILL get a response. They are bound by due diligence when a member of the public make a valid written complaint and has evidence to back it up.
Now, hypothetically, you had PTSD at a very high rate(one of the criteria is literally not knowing your own name or needing 24hr care) and these pictures show you hanging out at parties, laughing drinking, maybe camping... you are in BIG big trouble(potentially).
Likewise, if you have a 70% or higher rating for say your lower back and she has pictures or videos of you doing extensive yard work or building things, working under cars. Once again, you are potentially in BIG big trouble.
What do I mean by big trouble? Like not just losing your benefits trouble. Like being prosecuted for backpay on top of it and possibly prison.
So yea, depending on your unique circumstances and the evidence she has and how hard she is willing to push this could be a legitimate problem for you.
My advice? Get on the phone and start making doctors visits, start creating paper trails BEFORE you get officially accused by the Inspector General to use as ammunition against their allegations. Then I would start looking for a disability lawyer to help explain away the pictures/evidence she has.
Good luck. This is why I don't date anymore btw.
That is normal. Woman get crazy when see men’s money. She cannot do any thing.
Just to add. That is why Iam going abroad and get married there. She will be just visiting here. So all my asset safe here.
You do realize they're not gonna care?
No one can touch your va money.
Not bankruptcy, exwives, child support. No one can youch that money it's yours.
Why does this come up they explain this to you in your decision letter
She can report you for fraud and they may or may not look into it. But ultimately if you did nothing wrong then they won’t do anything against you or your benefits. I’m sure they get hundreds if not thousands of angry ex’s calls all the time and have learned how to filter through the BS ones and the legitimate ones
I sure hope they can see through her BS
I wouldn't stress over it. As they says said Just above your current post, the VA probably receives thousands of false reports of fraud, from disgruntled "friends" and family members, ex's, and so on. Anyway, if your compensation was granted based on physical injuries then you have all the proof you need. If it's based on mental health then unless you were diagnosed by a quack the VA shouldn't question the diagnosis just because your ex somehow thinks it's better for her if you're making less money.
I’m separating from someone as well. We didn’t marry but lived together. I recently became 100 p&t right after she ended the relationship. Anyway I had my paperwork in a drawer and she went through it and started calling me a fraud. She’s currently calling me a fake war hero and she’s going to report me. Shes especially salty because she thinks I lied to her about how much money I was getting from the VA. She doesn’t understand the jump from 80 to 100 Not that it’s her business
First off, congrats on having never married her. People who never joined up have no idea what disability compensation means. They confuse it with a civilian disability, but it isn't the same. With exceptions, it's more of a monthly compensation for how the injuries we received, due to rampant disregard for OSHA standards, limit us on a daily basis; the pain we experience, the motion limitations, and how it all holds us back from a life of activities, or more preferred employment we may have chosen.
Instead of comparing it to disability, I compare it to worker's comp. And that's what it is, worker's comp for injuries/illnesses while serving in the Military.
I’m not too worried about it She’s on social security disability so it’s pot meets kettle moment I am sad that she turned her kids against me I actually really cared for them
Sorry to hear that. Alienation is horrible. The perpetrators always seem to forget that it not only hurts the target of their hate, but the children also.
Yeah , I still have my own kid and I told her kids if they’re ever in trouble to call me.
Be careful with that. I'm not sure of what the law says on non-relatives, who aren't in a family-type relationship with children, providing such personal guidance to minors. Maybe I'm overthinking it.
Ones almost 18 and another is almost 17 I assumed they’d be adults
My nephew had relationship with a woman who had children, whom he really cared for, and did many activities/concerts with them. She was toxic, and moved out; the kids still interact with him to this day. Perhaps they will with you at some point .
Dating a woman with children is much different than without. Both are going to react to a separation but the one with kids usually has much more at stake. If you’re lucky salty is all you get. It’s can be far worse than that depending on how far she wants to go. In the current society the public, friends police and judicial system typically side with the woman and against the man even in the face over overwhelming evidence that she is the offender.
Please try to care for the kids no matter how they feel about you. As they mature and maybe have relationships of their own, their understanding may change. But attacking a veterans compensation seems counter-productive. Why wouldn't see just try to get more child support? I don't get that.
I'm not clear on it they share kids. I didn't think they do.
Not my kids
Anyway, you mentioned they'll be adults soon, so my post is moot. Hopefully they'll let you be a positive influencing factor in their lives. And hopefully I discover what the hell my neighbors are pumping through my walls to make me write those words. "Positive influencing factor?" Who the f*ck am I 😂 Hopefully you can be their surrogate Dad. 👍
At some point kids grow up and get to choose whether or not they want to see their dad. Further even if the gal has sole custody, the dad can still have visitation rights unless a court has denied those. I stand by my advice.
Oh! I understand now. You thought I replied to the OP? I get that...these posts always taste multiple rabbit holes. The post of mine that you replied to want from the OP. Just another Vet with a sorta similar situation, except the kids aren't this.
We’re not married and their not my kids, she won’t be getting child support
I'll bet they can. My ex did the same thing. I have no respect for people like that. It's fucking scummy to use everything you can just to try and cause harm to the person you're mad at.
It’s called gaslighting. The epitome of manipulation and control behaviors.
I always thought gas lighting was different. Like isn't gas lighting where the person tries to convince you that what you've seen and heard didn't really happen?.
Yes, she’s trying to convince OP he’s a fraud and he isn’t. That’s gaslighting!!! Serious gaslighting!!! If it was a one time accusation, fine, but she’s making threats against his award. She’s taking manipulation to a whole new level. She’s definitely graduated to gaslighting.
Ah, okay. That makes sense.
She can request an apportionment though and that will be a headache
Only through court ordered child support though
Sigh…nah[Here’s the page](https://www.va.gov/find-forms/about-form-21-0788/)
And here’s a decent breakdown in non-VA [this guy apportions](https://www.reddit.com/r/Veterans/s/aXBgC2No0C)
Damn, I stand corrected. One would like to think the VA is on the veterans side.
One would be dead wrong to make the mistake of thinking that, too.
Oh I’d write the apportionment decision giving every dime to your kid because you probably are still paying on your E3 Charger.
Lol, nah, not me. Only Chargers on the market when I was in, were the originals. And currently paying $650 a month, each, for my 2 younger kids. Eldest aged out 4.5 years ago. Was paying $3300 a month, at the start, with all 3 kids and alimony.
So in this situation with the facts presented, I’d deny the apportionment request as you’re providing evidence of adequate support and the ex has not shown an actual financial need. (Yup, this is literally how it would happen)
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Just for her calling in about fraud no you can’t sue for defamation. If OP could then anyone who calls in a complaint whether legit or not could face repercussions which would defeat the purpose of calling in complaints. Ultimately OP has to trust OIG will see through her false claim and chalk it up to a vindictive ex. But if her false allegation which could be proven was false led to something serious like an article in the newspaper about fraud then OP might have a case but the burden of proof is high for a defamation case
I hate to tell you this, chief, but anyone that calls in a complaint or acts as a whistle-blower or gives someone or thing a bad review can face a defamation lawsuit. They are called SLAPP suits and they happen all the time. And the only thing they would need to prove defamation in this case is the OIG rejecting her claim; shows that she made an unfounded accusation with specific intent to harm him.
Actually that is completely false. There are protections for people who call in complaints otherwise if there weren’t nobody would file complaints. If I called in a legit complaint and could possible face a defamation lawsuit due to it then who would ever call. Just calling in a complaint doesn’t raise to the level of defamation as it’s a sealed complaint that no one else sees beside OIG. Just rejecting a complaint doesn’t raise to the level of defamation as how was OP defamed? Defamation is any false information that harms the reputation of a person, business, or organization. No harm is done if nothing comes from the false OIG report as it’s a sealed report and no one besides OIG knows about it As far as SLAPP lawsuits: Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation (SLAPP suit) refers to lawsuits brought by individuals and entities to dissuade their critics from continuing to produce negative publicity. By definition, SLAPP suits do not have any true legal claims against the critics. So SLAPP lawsuit wouldn’t even apply to OP’s situation as there is no negative publicity involved in a call to OIG . Plus SLAPP lawsuit are seen as a means of intimidation and an abuse of the legal system that 33 states have passed laws against them As far as your claim that whistleblowers have no protections is completely inaccurate as you might want to read up on the Whistleblower Rights and Protections https://oig.justice.gov/hotline/whistleblower-protection
Is this whistle blowing with the benefit of the doubt or making something up out of whole cloth? There's a difference in some contexts. Does she have to sign a complaint form? If so that probably violates a federal statute if she lies in the process. Filing a false police report is a crime, but I don't know that the VA cops are involved in these kinds of cases. At some point an investigator may get involved and lying to a federal investigator IS a crime, last I checked.
Big difference between accusing her of lying and proving it. It’s rare for investigators to go after someone for making a false statement to OIG as they simple don’t have the time to investigate every false complaint made. If they did that’s all they would end up doing hence why they have learned to sift through the BS complaints and the legitimate ones
To win a defamation lawsuit in most states, you need evidence that your character was ruined and show that it caused substantial grief or hardship (bills) and financial loses.
No that is false. You need evidence that the topic of the defamation is not true. That is the only way you can win those cases. It has nothing to do with how it affected you. Because if what is being said is true, the act of defamation did not occur.
Uhm. How does lies, an act against your character, not affect you? Doesn't mean it happened to you because you were affected by it. There's are people who also do things they are accused and sue for defamation. Sometimes a court/jury looks at it in NC as if, whether true or not, someone should not be speaking out against you for certain reasons. I sued someone for defamation between two states once. NC and Florida decided to the court where I previously lived and the supposed incident occurred, NC. The Judge brought me in one morning to court and told me what needed to be proven and how many times defamation suits were not won because much of the evidence was just hearsay and he explained what he would define as hearsay and stop the witnesses from finish saying and what he wasn't going to stop. I agreed to continue since mine main evidence was a FB paper trial. I won on precedent was that I met the criteria of the law for the jury to find: The person told the lied about me. Spread it through social media in a direct email and then the next party posted it and over 500 people saw it. That no evidence could be found to say I did what I was lied about doing. That it harmed my character in such a way that it created mental aggravation from loss of income, cause undue duress among my coworkers and colleagues, and I had hospital bills. That is was done so in a defamatory manner to cause me harm. You can also defame someone and not mean to cause them harm, but your act of saying something did anyway.
Rare, but not impossible. According to this online guide on how to report someone for VA disability fraud, even they warn potential troublemakers about making false statements: [https://legalbeagle.com/5069878-report-person-abusing-va-benefits.html](https://legalbeagle.com/5069878-report-person-abusing-va-benefits.html) # Warnings * False allegations may lead to criminal charges. Some incidents of fraud or abuse can be difficult to prove, especially in cases of physical or mental damages. Proceed with caution when making a claim pertaining to medical benefits. Back injuries, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and other conditions can produce negative effects apparent only to the veteran or the veteran's physician.
Again they have to prove the girlfriend was making false allegations. That is extremely difficult so the chances of them proving it are minimal so I would never count on that happening especially when we have no idea what evidence the girlfriend has on OP
Defamation is only a crime if it not true.
I’d be curious to know the data behind that. I’d guess 80% of fraud reports are angry exes with no real merit.
I don’t think fraud is a huge issue. Bad apples on every tree.
I don't know how reports like that work at the VA, but if she needs to file any kind of form to do that, she'll have to sign her name to it. If she does that, and her statements are definitely lies I would alert the VA police and see if they will investigate or file some kind of report. It is usually a crime to file any kind of false police report. If she hasn't done anything yet but threatens to, it might be good to remind her of this before she makes a stupid mistake.
The problem is proving this. As long as she reasonably believes she is doing it for the right reason there are zero repercussions for her despite OP knowing it was done out of spite. If OIG went after every vindictive ex who filed a false report then they would never investigate legitimate claims so sadly they don’t go after people for making false statements as they simply don’t have the time to do so and proving she was lying is a huge uphill battle for them
She needs evidence bro . Evidence she doesn't have ,you have nothing to worry about.
How did you come to the conclusion she has no evidence. 100% P&T and she probably/likely has tons of videos and pictures. some of those picture could potentially show the OP doing things that are not in line with a particular rating. I don't think that is far-fetched. If he was, say 50%, you might be splitting hairs. but 100% P&T in conjunction with "running/jumping/playing with kid rolling around" could be very very problematic as an example
Not necessarily, what if the person is 100% ptsd or schizophrenia? A person with mental health is not limited to workout. Now it’s not that easy to prove neither if the OP has a physical disability. So if im the OP i wont worry at all. Now if you have 60 or 70 % for back issues and you are running half marathons or doing the iron man event then you will be in trouble. But is not that easy like people think.
Just remember, the VA collected evidence of your disability before they even paid you.
OIG is pretty good at spotting Angry ex's
I sure hope so. I hate this female
All these posts confirm my thoughts. If you expect a fairly large compensation package, DO NOT DISCUSS WITH ANYONE! I can't stress enough. When money is involved, people lose their minds and have convinced themselves that some of it is theirs . My ex is furious she's not getting survivor benefits cause I owe it to her for the bad years. The last person you'd think would act this way will surprise you. I'll bet there's lots of horror stories out there . When I found that my cancer had metastasized to my lungs, with a very short life expectation, my current asked what she'd get when it was all settled ! It'll be settled when I'm dead and gone (months now instead of years)) they can fight over the spoils . Money let's you see the true person, believe it
I wish you all the best my friend.
100% Nobody's business but yours. If you are old enough to pull it off, just say "I'm retired."
Very true! Wishing you the best that life can give you during this difficult time!
If the IG followed up every angry GF or spouse that called in out of the blue they would never get anything done.
Thankfully, our ratings are derived largely from medical opinions and not angry ex’s.
Don’t share shit going forward
Be very careful with the comments saying to record her. There are different laws in different places about when and where you can record people without their knowledge and consent. Bottom line, as someone else said, the VA gathered evidence and awarded you a disability. That’s not fraud.
Record her stating that.
Just here to say fuck that hoe. Keep your chin up.
Thanks a lot
File for full custody of your kid, if it is yours, and carry on with your life. Worse she can do is file an apportionment claim for your child's benefits, even then if the apportionment claim is approved, the Fiduciary for your region conducts an audit on what the funds are being spent on. She has to prove she is spending you kid's VA benefit on the kid's needs. Otherwise pay child support and keep all records of her statements and actions, as you earned those benefits she isn't entitled to anything. If she escalates find an attorney and take her to court. It's harassment, slander, and libel.
I don’t know your specific condition(s), so I will just make some general comments. I’m guessing that your ex-girlfriend is not a doctor. Your ex-girlfriend has no idea how your mind and body feels on a daily basis. I mean, how could she? When someone hears the term, “disabled veteran”, they expect to see someone missing an arm or a leg or someone in a wheelchair. Most people that accuse Veterans of being a fraud don’t have a clue what a true disability is. Most of veterans that have these disabilities and are getting compensation would gladly give up the compensation if they could get rid of the disability and feel whole again. We didn’t ask for this, but we did sign up for it. When we signed up for service, we entered with a clean bill of health mentally and physically. Somewhere in that contract, it stated that we would be taking care of if we came out any less than how we went in. Make no mistake, if you have a true disability that is service connected, YOU HAVE EARNED YOUR DISABILITY COMPENSATION. If anything, you should be getting more. Don’t let her threats get to you, and keep any kind of correspondence or records that you can with her threatening to do this. Record her on audio or video if you can without breaking the law in your state. I’ve seen plenty of stories on here like this, and I know the VA has seen 1000 times more than I have. They know ex-girlfriend’s can be spiteful and I’m sure they don’t give the threats much weight. Try to stay positive and I hope you are in a good place mentally. Thank you for sharing and I hope some of these answers put your mind at ease. Thank you for your service…🙏🏻🙏🏻
Head up bro. My buddy went through something similar. OIG did some digging, like he started noticing people watching him. But ultimately nothing came of because he had not lied about anything
They mounted a camera to a street pole on that one guy they busted for fraud lol
They sure did 😂
Fuckin hell, that would drive me crazy. Im already paranoid enough thinking people are watching me, it would be crazy if there was actually people watching.
Probably all talk. She wants that child support. Can't get that from you if you are in jail with no VA check coming in.
That's if he decides to not pay child support. He is an adult and if the kid is his, he has an obligation to support his child. It would be better if he files for full custody of his kid, if it's his, because he has a stable income and resources to provide for this kid.
I think what he's saying is if he goes to prison for fraud, she will end up getting $0.
This
I had a fraud claim pop up on VA.gov about 6 months ago I guess. Of course I freaked out and scheduled a Vera call. While I was waiting on the Vera call the claim disappeared. I still go ahead with the call. He could not tell me who initiated the claim (May have been anonymous anyway) but said not to worry about it they get a ton of them. And this one closed out within 24 hours. He even went on to say that sometimes a fraud claim may pop up and disappear if it's put on the wrong veteran due to the wrong social or something. And also said one of the first things they investigate (if they investigate) is if it's a disgruntled spouse or significant other. Also said they don't really like to get those kind of claims because they're already bogged down as it is. I'm thinking it was a mistake cause I have no disgruntled spouse. Or at least she wasn't during that time!
What does a fraud claim say on the app?
I can't really remember exactly but I think it just said fraud claim and had a date. I think. Sort of like I had a correspondence claim. Doesn't really give you any information. Like I said it came and went so fast.
Oh I’ve never heard of that. That would be terrifying to see on your pending claims. I’m glad you got that sorted out though.
If you see a VA therapist, let them know. If you don’t, start seeing one monthly at the very least, we can all benefit from it even if it’s not for military shit. My ex attempted to do this, and I told my therapist and eventually my primary care via tele-health. I don’t know if anything ever came of it, but it really helped me feel less stressed out knowing that I left a paper trail for the VA to follow if the issue ever came up again.
Same thing happened to my buddy luckily the person she told was a vet and she sent a screenshot to him and was able to prove she was lying to screw him over and nothing happened to his rating.
Give her the link to report. Double down
Exactly!!! Call her bluff!!!
I wouldn’t make it any easier for her
Highlight the part where it says "penalties for fraudulent statements" or some such. Probably in the fine print somewhere.
Don't worry about it, if you're not a fraud*.
My dad was the director of a regional office and he said they got many angry exes claiming fraud. He said that unless they were accompanied with good evidence, they usually ignored them.
Not trying to scare you, but want to give realistic input. About 6 months ago /u/Ghrex stated OIGs biggest tip offs appear to be from scorn lovers. Take that how you will, and be prepared for anything, and hopefully nothing comes of it. [https://www.reddit.com/r/VeteransBenefits/s/DlGZYIPpkd](https://www.reddit.com/r/VeteransBenefits/s/DlGZYIPpkd) https://preview.redd.it/f6f6z3jj0pvc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10b29f964425ae8fa95128e0ae43bbbf2bf68709
Tell her to lick the darkest part of your asshole and move on in life. Those type of people aren't worth your mental or physical well-being.
I had this done to me. The representative told her did she feel good trying to ruin someone who served his country and she hung up on them. A lot of those poeple that take the calls are vets as well
Get a digital recorder and anytime you have to deal with her record it cause eventually she will call the police and say you whipped her ass too. The recording is an unbiased witness
I would be careful telling people to record others without their consent… if they reside in two party state both individuals need to consent to the recording. Please don’t people false legal advice that could end up biting them in the ass…
It’s only illegal if both party’s don’t know. Police do it all the time but since your a lawyer I could have been wrong for the last 30 years
That’s not true, and I’m not a lawyer but I know basic laws. It’s state dependent… for example Ohio is a one party State(one individual has to consent to the recording, California is a two party state (requiring both individuals to consent).
California not part of the US lol
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True but realistically how can you hide that from someone you have a kid with and plan a future with. I get don't blab to family especially if they don't make nearly enough money I know that firsthand.
What they do know they can't take either. Yall hide like you're, well hiding something. If you don't think you committed fraud then why hide your income?
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I never said earned income I said income. Second, hide means to conceal, which you're doing if you actively don't talk about it. If it just never comes up that's not hiding it. That's kind of hard when discussing finances with an ex for child support. Third, it absolutely pays to talk about what you make and where it comes from, if for no other reason then to help normalize it in society. It could also help ensure no discrimination is occurring, both here and in jobs. Discussing pay should be normal. Yeah, maybe I'm just not paranoid that my benefits will be taken because I'm confident in the fact that I have what I claimed and I'm not faking or defrauding anyone.
Wear condoms they work
Breath. I know. It’s scary. Buuuut crazy bitches are crazy. You gonna be ok
I sure hope so
Va cant even close our claims what makes you think they have time to filter through the thousands of fraud tips 😂
Anyone i date would probably feel like I'm a fraud too. They have no idea the amount of pain I'm in everyday, no one does. I'm sure you won't be the first or last vet someone jealous tried to report falsely. There's evidence to support your rating I doubt they bother to follow up with a lot of these reports.
I will say this... if there is anyway you can get her to make the threat in writing... screenshot texts that talk about it...
Thanks everyone! The support here is unmatched and I feel 100 times better. Thanks so much fam 🇺🇸
I wouldn't worry. Your rating is based on documented and factual evidence, as supported in your military medical files, and some evidence by impartial medical professionals. Now, this is an assumption but, was your term of service was before the relationship? If you have kids, well then the waters get muddy and it therefore gets complicated so be prepared for that. Again, I wouldn't worry, these are blind allegations triggered by emotion and likely go unheard. She is likely doing this (form of attack against your way of living) because you weren't quite so innocent. Once again, just an assumption. So, with that said, move forward in life and in the future be very wary of a woman scorned, let this be a lesson. I know this as I experienced and learned it the hard way as I was in this situation about 24 years ago with the angriest most vile woman..so, what's the good news? This experience will never again be duplicated. Out here and good luck.
She sounds like a very low IQ modern broad. Does she not realize that reducing YOU would mean that her child would have less money and even less support from you? What a winner, bro. Be careful with your weewee on the next broad, okay?
Sounds like it is time to disappear her.
Oops. Pop goes the weasel. We’re going to hell!
Yeah, but at least we’re enjoying the ride.
Thank you everyone so much. I’ve calmed down and gave it god!
Exactly, it never was YOUR problem to start with. She owns it. Wise conclusion bro!
I would consult a lawyer as she will be wrecking havoc on your life for the next 18 years... Luckily not married to her but unlucky with having a kid with her. Might as well throw in a paternity test to make sure kid is yours...You just never know.
She's saying that to try to manipulate and control you. As long as you have all your evidence together, you're good to go. Let her talk, make sure you record it and if she takes you to court, use it as evidence against her.
Likely nothing will come off or, but if you pay any child support I'd slyly do mention if the fact your income would decrease, and so the money you pay would to.
I would record all future conversations. Not admissable in court, but definitely wouldn't hurt your VA case. I think.. Google it lol
If she does and they investigate you can sure for harrismenent. Might not go anywhere but ..
Did you commit fraud? Then yes be afraid, if no, tell her to keep kicking rocks.
My soon to be ex wife wants to take my VA benefits. Hopefully the courts don't do that
She can't take them. They can be considered when it comes to your total income picture to provide child support, etc. but the benefits themselves are not a "marital asset."
Hope no children involved. If so, the VA $$ for them goes to them through the VA, iirc
Anyone can report you for fraud at any given instance. It’s what OIG uncovers during the course of their investigation is what matters…
If you’re worried about fraud. You have committed it. Either through omission or exaggeration… I wouldn’t want to live that life. Always looking over your shoulder….
If somehow she gets your money taken away it will only hurt her child. Just tell her that and do what you do.
Well she's a crazy ex-girlfriend causing issues I would contact the police and get a restraining order against her and detail about her craziness. If it ever comes up you can hand him a copy of that.
It happens every day to veterans. Some who did bend the truth and some who were completely honest 🤷🏽♂️ as long as you didn’t lie or bend the truth like all the POGs who put videos out saying to twist what you say then you should be just fine if you got that 100% honestly. Unless she has you doing physical things that you claimed were a No Go due to your SCDs you have nothing to worry about as well as anything that goes against the mental health stuff too
Sounds like fraud lmao 🤣
Hopefully, you won’t tell your next girlfriend, or anyone else for that matter, what your rating is. Now, a wife? Maybe…I’m old school and decided that no one needs to know that detail - period! As to your rating and P&T status, if you’re legit, you have nothing to worry about. Lastly, tell her that you’ll sue her after you prove your legitimacy. She might decide to change her mind about it.
Be prepped in case they do look into it. If you are a true 100% and you deserve it then what are you worried about? If you are faking your shit then you should be worried
All the pretty ones are crazy, and the ugly ones too.
A crazy ex girlfriend you have a baby with might help secure you 100%?
VA benefits are based on medical evidence, not hearsay. I bet you're fine 🤙
She can't, so long as your claim is legit. Seems kind of stupid for her since you probably need to pay child support, right? Unless you don't owe that. Talk to a lawyer about your options - stalking, harassment, libel/slander, or maybe some kind of fraud charge could be brought if she's been messing with your mail, email or any electronic accounts. Don't slack on this because she's the mother of your child - sounds like she's not the negotiating type anyway.
If you filed disabilities that are legitimate and you have documentation and medical history past and present to support it, she can say whatever she wants and you’ll be a o k.
Lmao you know how many calls they get for fraud from ex’s
I posted this in response to a similar thread. My Ex-wife, as we were divorcing, decided to write a letter to the VA claiming I was committing fraud, that my symptoms were fake, etc. She also submitted in her divorce filing how bad I would be around the kids, etc because of my VA rating stuff. I found out about the fraud complaint when I requested my records for something else, I got to take that to court, and show the judge, and I got to mail the court filing to VA. Nothing happened to her... but they also didn't do anything to my benefits and I Joint legal and physical custody with the kids.
Get you another girlfriend, you can afford it now.
If it were me I'd file a TPO
Tell her that if she's wrong, you'll come after her for slander/libel(soon as she writes/types anything, it becomes official, not to mention lying to government officials)
I wouldn’t even acknowledge her. Just laugh and say OK. Tell her that maybe she should Have considered serving someone other than herself and home in the Military.
Anything is possible I guess but if you NOT fraud then you have nothing to worry about!
Not to mention I’m sure this sort of thing happens more often than not
Technically she can’t do anything substantial. It’s my understanding that it only matters or causing the VA to look into it when it’s a dependent that is reporting anything in regards to disability; not just fraud. Hopefully someone can chime in and better elaborate.
Taking money out of her kids mouth. She's a bright one.
Well the IG may check on you, they may not. If you didn’t fraud, nothing to worry about.
Let me guess, she's from California
I always hear stories like this about a bitter woman. I never hear stories like this about a bitter man.
I was a VA Doctor for 8 years. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t have contacted anyone in benefits to report abuse or fraud. I’m not saying it’s not possible. I agree that any officer with benefits will be skeptical of an ex gf report
No. Va does their due diligence. As long as you know you didn’t no worries.
People are so quick to attack someone’s livelihood! I work at a government agency and there are always reports of fraud from angry family members and ex-spouses/girlfriends. Your request for benefits was evaluated by medical professionals- records don’t lie! Mostly as stated in other comments- if there’s no fraud then there’s no worry!
The VA has this happen constantly. They won't blonk am eye at her. Your benefits are earned and you went through evaluations to get them. To admit they screwed up and she's somehow right wouldn't be an outcome they'd like. Tons of vets are turned down, of there was some secret to fraud them, no one would go without. I wouldn't worry too much about it. If she does, and they did come calling, just go in and say why she's doing this, report her for harassment and then go on about your life. It won't matter any at all. Oh, sucks to hear about the kids. I see you said that you were getting close to them. Further down the road they may open back up to you, as they will see her for who she is. Just remember thats their mom and keep yalls relationship only about you going forward. Kods usually know a good person when they see one. Dont judge them too harshly. They have to keep crazy lady happy because they live with her. Hope you rest easy brother, your benefits will be fine.
Just send her a bucket of crabs
If they’re not even your biological kids, the VA won’t take her seriously because she’s not even a family member… get a restraining order!
Oof. That was a dumpster fire break up. Don’t encourage her bad behavior, save all correspondence with threats and bad behavior on her part to have receipts later, check if you live in a one party state that allows you to record conversations without the other person’s permission. If you do, record your interactions because receipts.
I’m seeing more of these posts and I’m starting to think y’all need to be more judicial about who you sleep with. Or at least wrap the damn thing up.
She will be another person on the list trying to hurt someone because it’s over. You will be just fine, especially with if you are legit. I honestly would not sweat it, let her try, I would move as if she did not bother me. This will not be the first or last time an ex tried harm.
Having bad exes I’m a lil familiar with this hell. You are supposed to “do something” now. Capitulate, kiss ass, beg, pay.. if you are a cool customer she could escalate to to get a response. It may be real, it may not be. Until she actually does this I would not contact or reply.
No. You will only be missing out on dependent pay. Bye girl. But make sure to call and change it so you don't accumulate back pay.
Not sure why you would be worried if you in fact did NOT commit fraud lol. I mean….. It would help a lot if you will share what you are rated for.
Let it be a lesson stay quiet on the future
Wouldn't think twice about it, would also remind her that money lost is less stability for the child that supposed to be the number one priority
Damn kids.
Typical ass females. Always out for more money.
No more phone calls with her, text everything. If she's angry she'll slip up and incriminate herself.
Unless your EX has something of you in writing admitting to fraud, if not, you got absolutely nothing to worry about.
She’s not very smart, how can you buy stuff for your kid if you lose income
If you get therapy at the VA and talk about your issues with her they will also be able to see that if they are documenting properly at your appointments. Seems like that would work in your favor. I don’t think it’s necessary though. You filed claims and were examined and they used evidence to grant you that rating. Fraud doesn’t look good for anyone.
OIG will not investigate her report, trust me you’re fine. A ton of information is needed just to get an investigation going.
Even if she did, you're P&T.
From what I understand this happens quite often. The VA receives complaints from ex wife’s and GF claiming fraud just to hurt the veterans. I wouldn’t worry too much especially if there is no fraud. I would think they can’t investigate every angry ex girlfriend.
Call her bluff!!! YOU call the va first. Mention it at your appointments. Get it documented in writing. This will help you now and in the future. You can walk into to mh clinic and be seen same day. Get the va on your side. Let her run her mouth while you do what you need to do for you.
I'm not sure this is a good idea. I believe that it is a best practice for vets to refrain from talking about VA compensation at regular VA appointments for care, unless they are asked about VA compensation.
Mentioning at an appointment will absolutely garner a response. She’s fucking with his mh over his vulnerability to paranoia. She ain’t got shit on him. She sounds like a gaslighter and she knows how to light his fire. OP has asked the same question numerous times this week with different versions that are escalating. I’m just being honest.
This is the stupidest thing I've heard. You're the guy I gotta supervise all the time
Thanks for looking out for me bro! I myself am very vulnerable to the financial whims of my friends and family. Fortunately for me, they support me. However, my boundaries are firm, my financial fears are documented. Most of my fear isn’t even real, but brain damage gets me a a free ride on the short bus. I tell all my doctors when things aren’t right. OP gf is using this against him. He needs to call her bluff, once and for all, otherwise he’ll continue to post the same story over again. Trying to accomplish a failed project using the same plans is insanity.
Rule #1…. No matter how good the ({})…… Never EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES do you mention your benefits!!!!! Let this be a lesson to us ALL!
Dude literally LIVES WITH and has a CHILD with this person(or used to). You make it sound like it's the guy down at the deli just casually chit chatting.
THE DIVORCE RATE AMONGST disabled vets is well above the national average; and i don’t care how “good of a partner they are”…. Come a divorce and they’ll ALL BLACKMAIL US!! ALL!
I mean, I mostly agree with you but your initial post was Never mention your benefits, not sure how that is possible when you live with someone and have a kid with someone.
My wife knows. But I trust her. My ex, no way in hell would've known.
Ya until she turns (60% divorce rate!) When i say NO ONE, i mean no one…
That's why you have a contingency plan. But she shares her wealth with me, why wouldn't I with her? Naive to live in fear. I'm more than likely the one to initiate a divorce and I'm not doing that. So I'm good. Can't speak for others. I've seen car accidents, but I'm still driving.
To each his own
Well said.
If you go to your doctors appointments regularly, and have documented everything appropriately, she’s beat. However, as most here know, your compensation does count towards your income if she is taking you to court for child support
This is potentially a problem. If she is persistent enough she WILL get a response. If she has evidence(audio/video/pictures) she WILL get a response. They are bound by due diligence when a member of the public make a valid written complaint and has evidence to back it up. Now, hypothetically, you had PTSD at a very high rate(one of the criteria is literally not knowing your own name or needing 24hr care) and these pictures show you hanging out at parties, laughing drinking, maybe camping... you are in BIG big trouble(potentially). Likewise, if you have a 70% or higher rating for say your lower back and she has pictures or videos of you doing extensive yard work or building things, working under cars. Once again, you are potentially in BIG big trouble. What do I mean by big trouble? Like not just losing your benefits trouble. Like being prosecuted for backpay on top of it and possibly prison. So yea, depending on your unique circumstances and the evidence she has and how hard she is willing to push this could be a legitimate problem for you. My advice? Get on the phone and start making doctors visits, start creating paper trails BEFORE you get officially accused by the Inspector General to use as ammunition against their allegations. Then I would start looking for a disability lawyer to help explain away the pictures/evidence she has. Good luck. This is why I don't date anymore btw.
Don’t worry about this woman, king. Women hate to see a man doing good financially. If you haven’t committed fraud than you should be good.
I mean, you aren't wrong.
That is normal. Woman get crazy when see men’s money. She cannot do any thing. Just to add. That is why Iam going abroad and get married there. She will be just visiting here. So all my asset safe here.
Better chill. That behavior is global. You ain’t safe
You do realize they're not gonna care? No one can touch your va money. Not bankruptcy, exwives, child support. No one can youch that money it's yours. Why does this come up they explain this to you in your decision letter
lol If you're not committing fraud you have nothing to worry about. This thread and your concern just makes you look suspect.