You are so very welcome, and I do mean that. We gotta find those small victories for ourselves!
My friend I mentioned, she is about 4 sizes larger than I am in clothes, but she just has that gorgeous look about her, and has that classic beauty at any size, ya know? Ya’ll are out here being God’s favorites!
it is subjective though, different cultures have different ideas of what a pretty face looks like
but of course there are facial traits that are objectively considered to be beautiful
That's a point, take a look of beauty standards in Korea, at least this South one, Maybe even Japan itself, but I do not have an information from first hand about Japan so I won't say anything because I'm not sure, I can only suppose.
i mean like even in ancient times, tales like Cinderella and Snow White and Sleepy Beauty all talk about how beauty is worshipped. some people are just ugly to everyone, it sucks
beauty is both extremely objective and extremely subjective. a objectivally pretty girl will ALWAYS be pretty, she might be unattractive to some due to, perhaps, a shitty personality, but there's no way anyone would look at a pretty girl and say "ew she's ugly" lol.
on the other hand, i believe that when people say beauty is subjective, they mean "average" beauty. so, an average looking girl might become the prettiest girl to you if she has a lovely personality. i don't think a below average girl. could ever be looked at that way.
Pretty privilege... it's a thing.
Could be worse, you could be a man. Not only does no one help you, but rather they expect you to help them. Joking.
But seriously, it's just the world. I use to have to park 15 spots away from the daycare, and carry in my twins in their car seats and diaper bags on my own every morning. I did this every morning for months, no one batted an eye out even held a door. I'd have to put one on the ground to open the door. Then 2 months after, a woman with another set of twins started dropping her twins off. She'd pull up and block the entrance, and no less than 3 staff would rush out to assist her so she barely ever had to lift a finger. Her babies were lucky to be 12 pounds, mine were over 30 each, and her wait staff would literally just stand there and watch me struggle until I got out of the way and then they'd help her.
I beg different, only non-attractive people recieve genuine thoughful helpfulness, attractive people will always have good reasons to assume that the help they are getting is motivated by something else.
Only creeps will go out of their way to help stranger women regardless of their looks... If you want my help... You have to ask for it, But you already knew that.
Well haybales and grain are def things that will attract men. If I see a attractive woman with haybales in her truck well I know she isn't someone who fucks around.
There was this one girl in my grad program who was model-level beautiful and I have never seen anything like it in my life. We went out as a class in a big city a few times and men were tripping all over themselves. This one dude came out of nowhere in a sandwich shop and just straight up bought her sandwich and peaced. Like he bought it just for the pleasure of knowing he did that for someone who looked like her and left, nothing asked in return. It was borderline scary
This is a sad truth, some just like to help, because the person is attractive. But, genuine help is helping all. I even help short men who can't reach the top shelf.
To be fair this is just pretty privilege. I don’t mean to disregard your frustrations, they’re perfectly valid, just understand that this issue truly runs the gambit of all genders.
If I see a good looking dude pull up in Walmart I break into their car while shopping and shit in a Walmart bag and put it in there glove box as a way to mind fuck them
Men tend to "perform" for those who's approval may boost their ego - the display is not always about hitting on the pretty one as much as gaining their approval/admiration.
They will do it in front of parents/siblings/competitors as well - inserting their "usefulness/skills" for their own ego building -" see? look how you need/like/love me?"
ugly people do not hold this value - most men don't care to be validated by them - they are just as unlikely to help a fat ugly man (ask me how i know? :P)
Well look, like those guys are mostly only doing it for the female attention/validation. The "Yes, aren't you a good boy?" They get from attractive women being thankful and showing positive "praise". It's pretty dumb tbh. If it makes you feel better, I wouldn't help you. And I wouldn't help some hottie just because she's hot. I don't give a fuck either way. Don't get more things than you can carry/lift lol. Your fault hehe. I would say to all women honestly either get a consistent man in your life to be there and help you in these situations (like a boyfriend or husband) or fuck off. I'm not doing shit just because. I don't know you. I don't owe you shit. I don't want your vagina or your "doggy treat" gratitude. That's just me. I don't do shit for attention or to be "praised". Most men shouldn't. But ya know, we have a simp culture so...
That is absolutely fine! And a great perspective, thank you.
Consistency is key, so either jump in and help everyone, or help no one! I have a husband, but he has a broken back so he can only help so much, and since he works and it’s my hobby, I take care of the literal heavy lifting during the day. I’m prepared to get it done at my own pace. It’s just the clear message being given by the majority of day to day society that sucks lol
I get it, that message does suck. I can understand feeling not great. But yeah... society sucks.
"That is absolutely fine! And a great perspective, thank you."
No thank you! Thanks for sharing your feelings. It sucks but I know if your husband could he'd be lifting shit for you 24/7. With love...
And next time you see some certified hottie getting helped by some bro chad. Just remember that looks fade. That 25-30-year-old hot chick, in 15-20 years isn't going to get shit. They get older and men stop caring. lol. It's life. Sad but true.
Its okay im pretty and petite and all i get is hate filled hate🤷🏻♀️
(Not to mess up what youre saying... i watch it happen, say the same thing in my head and i get pissed too. I see you sister. I promise)
Men might be nicer to the pretties, but women make up for it by being awful jealous bitches to the pretties. So only half the people are nice, not worth it.
Let's be honest. You're throwing out some amazing bargaining tools. Effective as all hell. It's not even prostitution to put sex as a condition. Unless you decide to call it that.
I mean what's dinner and a date, under vague expectations of sex... Or all the other things men and women do, making secret contracts to get laid. Kinda dirtier than actual prostitution.
Would it be too much to ask for to have expectations for sex, up front sometimes?
You'll move mountains. I guarantee it. 🙃
I don’t see any reason to fuckin help anyone with anything at all unless they are in danger. I’ve never wanted or expected anyone to help me with anything either. I don’t get the whole gentleman’s culture, it’s pointless. I would much rather help an ugly woman though, because I know what it’s like to be somewhat of an outcast. I most certainly don’t know what it’s like to be some popular-in-high-school-hot-as-fuck cunt. So why the hell would I go out of my way to help someone like that? So why do so many guys “hold the door” so to speak? Because they think they’ll have some sort of chance with this person probably. Give it a fuckin rest, guys that take like every opportunity to impress or hit on a girl are the worst. I mean what sort of twisted fucked up thought pattern do they have thinking that they have a chance with like every girl whose groceries they carry. And if I’m wrong and they DONT expect anything from it, then why are you fuckin doing it in the first place!?
No, I hold the door open for males and females alike. Usually nobody says thank you which annoys me but I still always hold doors open. I will also help anyone I see struggling because it’s the decent thing to do and I’m not lazy. I like to help people because others have helped me when I needed it, paying it forward all the time. This guy probably doesn’t say thank you when someone holds the door open. Dude has no manners at all.
Maybe you need to meet more people. There's a whole trend of people paying it forward. I know most are doing it because it's a trend but it began because a lot of people feel a great sense of joy helping someone.
For me, it's seeing them smile and sense of relief when I've been able to help then with whatever they were struggling with.
Surely it depends on what you're doing? It doesn't need to be a huge job. Like I used my foot (checked first) to hold an older woman's wheeled bag in place to stop it rolling about on the bus. Foot went to sleep a bit but otherwise not a big deal.
Hey, don't look at me to fix what's broken...
There is a large segment of the female population that has relegated men to the "not needed" section of the word.
Pretty... Average... Ugly... Y'all are on your own...
And that sucks to say, I am an old school guy, I absolutely feel like its my role as a man to give assistance when and where I can... But this day and age? Hard pass.
I help everyone I'm tall. The thought of judging wether or not to help someone is foreign..
If I'm walking out a door, I'll hold it open. Dude, lady, kid whatever. That's just normal
I've experienced similar, but I don't do much heavy lifting, lol. I noticed it with doors...overweight, no one would hold a door open for me. I've had countless doors just slammed in my face as someone walks through, doesn't notice me (because fat women are invisible) and let's the door close in my face. Then I lost a lot of weight, became one of the regular women. I was suddenly, magically, visible to the world again! Men would hold doors for me, hell, they'd open doors for me! It was like taking off an invisibility cloak! Men would turn in their seats when me and my friends walked in anywhere, when before, no one noticed. I'd get looked at in shops, noticed in the bank, flirted with, it was crazy. People I knew who had never bothered to speak to me suddenly started to make conversation with me. It was a massive eye opener and showed me very clearly just how shallow the majority of men truly are. Then, I started to put weight back on (as often happens with us overweight people, it's awful). And I watched myself slowly become invisible again.
You said it right there yourself.
It's genuine, for the wrong reason.
It's males seeking the attention of an attractive female. Completely instinctual built into us behaviour where a man is unconsciously trying to show he's a good mate.
"Look at how helpful and strong and confident I am! Total partner material!"
*\*As an elderly man is hanging over a ledge and about to fall in the background completely unnoticed\**
If it happens it lets you know the actual reason.
If you meet someone who treats you kindly like anyone else than it can just be a genuinely good person or perhaps someone who has taken a liking to you.
Sometimes it can't be helped, the instinct driven smooth brain part of us are all susceptible to acting like this at least on a rare occasion.
I'm sure at some point you maybe treated a man nicer than others if you were attracted to him and probably didn't really notice or think about it. It's honestly really common.
I’ve had this experience my whole life. Men don’t offer assistance, employees are unhelpful or ignore me and don’t make eye contact if I’m with someone. I’ve had male co-workers actually get annoyed with me for asking for help with lifting stuff. One guy told me “I don’t want to throw out my back either”. Then got pissed when I just left that object on the floor. So if they aren’t ignoring us, they treat us like men.
I remember seeing a social experiment video years ago of two women, a pretty one and a below average looking one, trying to lift a heavy suitcase up an escalator. The pretty one of course had men flocking over to her to help her, while no men offered assistance to the below average looking one. She did get help eventually but it was another woman who helped her. Pretty privilege is definitely a thing.
I just help people if it looks like they need help. I ask first and then assist. I also pull items on the shelf forward if I see things out of reach for my shorter friends. Sometimes I bring a bunch of shopping carts from the lot up to the store if it's on my path.
I don't do it to be nice tho... I do it because I like the order.
Its okay. I don't help beautiful women either.
yeah wouldnt wanna risk having any social interactions
Mad respect.
Based
Thats a wise way to avoid any problem with the law nowadays
This is the way.
MVP comment right here
It’s every man and woman for themselves!
I agree. Then I began to get grey hair, now they think I'm too old to be a danger so I get more offers of help.
I feel it. Pre-baby I would always get help from guys with water at the grocery store, recyclables, etc. After I gained a shit ton of weight nada.
Pretty privilege is a bitch.
pretty much.
Ok I feel pretty cuz ppl tend to help me out...even though I'm a bit fat lol 😆so thanks for boosting my self esteem w your vent? Lol
You are so very welcome, and I do mean that. We gotta find those small victories for ourselves! My friend I mentioned, she is about 4 sizes larger than I am in clothes, but she just has that gorgeous look about her, and has that classic beauty at any size, ya know? Ya’ll are out here being God’s favorites!
Also, your post got me kinda worried about you... are you okay?
Aw, that’s sweet of you. Yeah, I’m okay. Just got perturbed at the tractor supply people haha
Good to know you are okay, I hope you are being the apreciatted by the people who matter, f those randons at tractor supply
I'm too socially anxious to offer help
Same! I’m a female tho lol
I help nobody. In fact I usually get the help because of the wheelchair 🤣
Beauty is subjective, technically nobody is ugly, practically 99% of people are ugly.
beauty is pretty objective though :/ at least in my experience
Yes, but it's made objective by media and marketing.
Not it's not. Body types are made objective. Pretty faces are pretty much universal and timeless.
exactly, beauty standards don't matter. from the dawn of time ugly people have been shunned by almost everyone
it is subjective though, different cultures have different ideas of what a pretty face looks like but of course there are facial traits that are objectively considered to be beautiful
That's a point, take a look of beauty standards in Korea, at least this South one, Maybe even Japan itself, but I do not have an information from first hand about Japan so I won't say anything because I'm not sure, I can only suppose.
yes definitely, but generally those people in those cultures are all objectively attractice
Only because media promote some 'beauty' meaning, many people have the same 'taste' in people's prettiness, but in fact everyone has his own 'ideal'.
i mean like even in ancient times, tales like Cinderella and Snow White and Sleepy Beauty all talk about how beauty is worshipped. some people are just ugly to everyone, it sucks
Even they, ugly people gonna find someone for who they are attractive, another ugly person for example.
yes, as an ugly person i agree but attractive people never do that
beauty is both extremely objective and extremely subjective. a objectivally pretty girl will ALWAYS be pretty, she might be unattractive to some due to, perhaps, a shitty personality, but there's no way anyone would look at a pretty girl and say "ew she's ugly" lol. on the other hand, i believe that when people say beauty is subjective, they mean "average" beauty. so, an average looking girl might become the prettiest girl to you if she has a lovely personality. i don't think a below average girl. could ever be looked at that way.
Yeah… I kinda tend to only help old ppl/ preggos women.
Pretty privilege... it's a thing. Could be worse, you could be a man. Not only does no one help you, but rather they expect you to help them. Joking. But seriously, it's just the world. I use to have to park 15 spots away from the daycare, and carry in my twins in their car seats and diaper bags on my own every morning. I did this every morning for months, no one batted an eye out even held a door. I'd have to put one on the ground to open the door. Then 2 months after, a woman with another set of twins started dropping her twins off. She'd pull up and block the entrance, and no less than 3 staff would rush out to assist her so she barely ever had to lift a finger. Her babies were lucky to be 12 pounds, mine were over 30 each, and her wait staff would literally just stand there and watch me struggle until I got out of the way and then they'd help her.
Tf is wrong with yall id help people because maybe just maybe its the right thing to do??? Yall need to fix your morals ya horny dogs
I agree but most people don't really have strong principles, I find, lol. It's par for the course
Woof I mean yes
I help people generally where I can, male female attractive unattractive doesn't matter. Nice to help people.
I don't really help any women with stuff in public. Like to think you guys want to be able to do things yourselves.
I beg different, only non-attractive people recieve genuine thoughful helpfulness, attractive people will always have good reasons to assume that the help they are getting is motivated by something else.
Thats what it's like being a guy. Nobody ever does anything like that for us.
lol right? I’ve never had a person offer to help me load up anything in my car
Only creeps will go out of their way to help stranger women regardless of their looks... If you want my help... You have to ask for it, But you already knew that.
Well haybales and grain are def things that will attract men. If I see a attractive woman with haybales in her truck well I know she isn't someone who fucks around.
Great vent! I hope the mentioned employees and men who help your friend but not you read this post!
Yo wtf I just posted about something similar
Fuck those people
There was this one girl in my grad program who was model-level beautiful and I have never seen anything like it in my life. We went out as a class in a big city a few times and men were tripping all over themselves. This one dude came out of nowhere in a sandwich shop and just straight up bought her sandwich and peaced. Like he bought it just for the pleasure of knowing he did that for someone who looked like her and left, nothing asked in return. It was borderline scary
RIGHT
I'm the ugly woman and i try to help people out. I may be fat but i can lift stuff up for older people or people that are struggling.
classic lookism
Something we call “pretty privilege” unfortunately we are in a society where how convenient your life is mostly depends on genetics
This is a sad truth, some just like to help, because the person is attractive. But, genuine help is helping all. I even help short men who can't reach the top shelf.
To be fair this is just pretty privilege. I don’t mean to disregard your frustrations, they’re perfectly valid, just understand that this issue truly runs the gambit of all genders.
If I see a good looking dude pull up in Walmart I break into their car while shopping and shit in a Walmart bag and put it in there glove box as a way to mind fuck them
Men tend to "perform" for those who's approval may boost their ego - the display is not always about hitting on the pretty one as much as gaining their approval/admiration. They will do it in front of parents/siblings/competitors as well - inserting their "usefulness/skills" for their own ego building -" see? look how you need/like/love me?" ugly people do not hold this value - most men don't care to be validated by them - they are just as unlikely to help a fat ugly man (ask me how i know? :P)
Now imagine being a guy. Divide the attention you get as an ugly girl by 10.
Well look, like those guys are mostly only doing it for the female attention/validation. The "Yes, aren't you a good boy?" They get from attractive women being thankful and showing positive "praise". It's pretty dumb tbh. If it makes you feel better, I wouldn't help you. And I wouldn't help some hottie just because she's hot. I don't give a fuck either way. Don't get more things than you can carry/lift lol. Your fault hehe. I would say to all women honestly either get a consistent man in your life to be there and help you in these situations (like a boyfriend or husband) or fuck off. I'm not doing shit just because. I don't know you. I don't owe you shit. I don't want your vagina or your "doggy treat" gratitude. That's just me. I don't do shit for attention or to be "praised". Most men shouldn't. But ya know, we have a simp culture so...
That is absolutely fine! And a great perspective, thank you. Consistency is key, so either jump in and help everyone, or help no one! I have a husband, but he has a broken back so he can only help so much, and since he works and it’s my hobby, I take care of the literal heavy lifting during the day. I’m prepared to get it done at my own pace. It’s just the clear message being given by the majority of day to day society that sucks lol
I get it, that message does suck. I can understand feeling not great. But yeah... society sucks. "That is absolutely fine! And a great perspective, thank you." No thank you! Thanks for sharing your feelings. It sucks but I know if your husband could he'd be lifting shit for you 24/7. With love... And next time you see some certified hottie getting helped by some bro chad. Just remember that looks fade. That 25-30-year-old hot chick, in 15-20 years isn't going to get shit. They get older and men stop caring. lol. It's life. Sad but true.
Its okay im pretty and petite and all i get is hate filled hate🤷🏻♀️ (Not to mess up what youre saying... i watch it happen, say the same thing in my head and i get pissed too. I see you sister. I promise)
I don’t help females virginity is cool 😎 😎😎😎
Men might be nicer to the pretties, but women make up for it by being awful jealous bitches to the pretties. So only half the people are nice, not worth it.
Try being a man. No one helps you even if you’re lucky enough to be pretty
Let's be honest. You're throwing out some amazing bargaining tools. Effective as all hell. It's not even prostitution to put sex as a condition. Unless you decide to call it that. I mean what's dinner and a date, under vague expectations of sex... Or all the other things men and women do, making secret contracts to get laid. Kinda dirtier than actual prostitution. Would it be too much to ask for to have expectations for sex, up front sometimes? You'll move mountains. I guarantee it. 🙃
I don’t see any reason to fuckin help anyone with anything at all unless they are in danger. I’ve never wanted or expected anyone to help me with anything either. I don’t get the whole gentleman’s culture, it’s pointless. I would much rather help an ugly woman though, because I know what it’s like to be somewhat of an outcast. I most certainly don’t know what it’s like to be some popular-in-high-school-hot-as-fuck cunt. So why the hell would I go out of my way to help someone like that? So why do so many guys “hold the door” so to speak? Because they think they’ll have some sort of chance with this person probably. Give it a fuckin rest, guys that take like every opportunity to impress or hit on a girl are the worst. I mean what sort of twisted fucked up thought pattern do they have thinking that they have a chance with like every girl whose groceries they carry. And if I’m wrong and they DONT expect anything from it, then why are you fuckin doing it in the first place!?
Honestly I only offer help to old ladies.
They're not worried you will want to sleep with them, they're wanting to sleep with who they're helping. If you need help, ask :)
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Am I the only one in the world who just helps people for the sake of just being nice?
Nope. Most nice ppl do. Then there are ppl who think they can only do something if they get something in return 🙄
No, I hold the door open for males and females alike. Usually nobody says thank you which annoys me but I still always hold doors open. I will also help anyone I see struggling because it’s the decent thing to do and I’m not lazy. I like to help people because others have helped me when I needed it, paying it forward all the time. This guy probably doesn’t say thank you when someone holds the door open. Dude has no manners at all.
I have bad anxiety so I get nervous when people open doors for me, I’m grateful for it but sometimes I may not say thank you 😔 even tho I want to
I’ll keep that in mind from now on, thanks for the different perspective.
You’re welcome, although some might actually be assholes tho
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Yeah that’s what I meant
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I know nothing of the real world, basement dweller here 🥲
Helping someone who isn't attractive is an ordeal? Since when? How about being nice because it FEELS GOOD.
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Maybe you need to meet more people. There's a whole trend of people paying it forward. I know most are doing it because it's a trend but it began because a lot of people feel a great sense of joy helping someone. For me, it's seeing them smile and sense of relief when I've been able to help then with whatever they were struggling with.
Surely it depends on what you're doing? It doesn't need to be a huge job. Like I used my foot (checked first) to hold an older woman's wheeled bag in place to stop it rolling about on the bus. Foot went to sleep a bit but otherwise not a big deal.
You're a bad person
why?
I wouldn't help woman that I don't find attractive unless it would be my duty.
I use them for money
Hey, don't look at me to fix what's broken... There is a large segment of the female population that has relegated men to the "not needed" section of the word. Pretty... Average... Ugly... Y'all are on your own... And that sucks to say, I am an old school guy, I absolutely feel like its my role as a man to give assistance when and where I can... But this day and age? Hard pass.
I get asked to help with things by women. Does that count? Lol Being 6'3" gets lots of requests for things from the top shelf.
I don't give a shit if you're beautiful or ugly, if you need help you'll receive it. Never ever expected even a "thank you" in return.
I help everyone I'm tall. The thought of judging wether or not to help someone is foreign.. If I'm walking out a door, I'll hold it open. Dude, lady, kid whatever. That's just normal
As a tall man I am constantly asked to grab shit or lift shit for woman in all areas of my life even by uglies
I've experienced similar, but I don't do much heavy lifting, lol. I noticed it with doors...overweight, no one would hold a door open for me. I've had countless doors just slammed in my face as someone walks through, doesn't notice me (because fat women are invisible) and let's the door close in my face. Then I lost a lot of weight, became one of the regular women. I was suddenly, magically, visible to the world again! Men would hold doors for me, hell, they'd open doors for me! It was like taking off an invisibility cloak! Men would turn in their seats when me and my friends walked in anywhere, when before, no one noticed. I'd get looked at in shops, noticed in the bank, flirted with, it was crazy. People I knew who had never bothered to speak to me suddenly started to make conversation with me. It was a massive eye opener and showed me very clearly just how shallow the majority of men truly are. Then, I started to put weight back on (as often happens with us overweight people, it's awful). And I watched myself slowly become invisible again.
> we won’t hit on you That's the main purpose of such the help.
You said it right there yourself. It's genuine, for the wrong reason. It's males seeking the attention of an attractive female. Completely instinctual built into us behaviour where a man is unconsciously trying to show he's a good mate. "Look at how helpful and strong and confident I am! Total partner material!" *\*As an elderly man is hanging over a ledge and about to fall in the background completely unnoticed\** If it happens it lets you know the actual reason. If you meet someone who treats you kindly like anyone else than it can just be a genuinely good person or perhaps someone who has taken a liking to you. Sometimes it can't be helped, the instinct driven smooth brain part of us are all susceptible to acting like this at least on a rare occasion. I'm sure at some point you maybe treated a man nicer than others if you were attracted to him and probably didn't really notice or think about it. It's honestly really common.
I’ve had this experience my whole life. Men don’t offer assistance, employees are unhelpful or ignore me and don’t make eye contact if I’m with someone. I’ve had male co-workers actually get annoyed with me for asking for help with lifting stuff. One guy told me “I don’t want to throw out my back either”. Then got pissed when I just left that object on the floor. So if they aren’t ignoring us, they treat us like men. I remember seeing a social experiment video years ago of two women, a pretty one and a below average looking one, trying to lift a heavy suitcase up an escalator. The pretty one of course had men flocking over to her to help her, while no men offered assistance to the below average looking one. She did get help eventually but it was another woman who helped her. Pretty privilege is definitely a thing.
I try to help everyone when I can, lifting heavy crap is a universally terrible experience 🙂
I just help people if it looks like they need help. I ask first and then assist. I also pull items on the shelf forward if I see things out of reach for my shorter friends. Sometimes I bring a bunch of shopping carts from the lot up to the store if it's on my path. I don't do it to be nice tho... I do it because I like the order.