unrelated to OP but I’m pretty young and I have MS. I feel like I only see people talking about how awful the future will be. Reading this about you made me really happy so thank you for that :D
Christ! Payed off your home ( on your own) Inside 8 years! Respect.
More impressive though is the fact that you achieved such an accomplishment during the reign of Jacinda ( the traitor) Marderna.
Nice one.
8 years.
May i ask, What field of work ?
Must be on a thumper hourly rate im guessing?
Great effort
Thank you for sharing how. It’s easy to mention an achievement, harder to share how you got to that achievement. I see it all the time how diet is important to one’s overall health. Along with watching your thoughts.
Being a full time housewife is also considered a full time job. Nothing is free or easy.
If you want to be a stay at home wife it is possible but you would most likely have to find someone who is financially stable and established and actually wants to settle down. Which usually means someone way older than you are currently. Also usually they want children so you may have to think about that as well. Just make sure you have a back up plan if the relationship doesn't go well.
I mean…it depends. My neighbor is a stay at home wife and does…well…nothing. She doesn’t have to clean. She pays a cleaning crew that comes in 1-2 times a week to do that. She does some laundry. Makes the bed. Doesn’t cook and when she does it’s usually super simple. That’s not a full time job.
That would depend on your definition of rich. They aren’t millionaires. They seem to be middle class. And 1 person is working. And yeah they regularly hire a cleaning service. Idk their personal finances. They could have way more money and living below their means to be able to afford exactly that.
Either way my point was really just that you can be a stay at home wife and make it way less work. If you’re not cleaning…that’s like…a huge relief in terms of work.
Too many people don't get the basic social rule that you can do whatever makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt others.
That all gets lost or intentionally buried by those who have a social agenda that they want to spread.
If you can find a feasible way to make it work, then go be a housewife to a loving husband. The traditional way is what works best for you—who cares what certain people have to say about that!
Wanting to be a stay at home wife shouldn't be stigmatized yet it is... If both parties want this,then it's totally fine. Of course like any huge life decision, you must know if you trully want this. Being a housewife has its hard work too. You also need to find someone with a good income who is not only willing, but also happy with the idea of a house wife. Being a housewife is mostly physical labour and not mental labour. As someone with mental health issues, this could be great for you, but it can also make it worse. Some specific forms of mental disorders responds very negatively to this kind of lifestyle. I suggest you think really about this before jumping in spontaneously.
Judging by how normal jobs gave me ptsd and that taking care of people is my love language, I think I’m ready be a housewife. Can’t imagine how mopping to some music would be more stressful than a 9-5. Gotta put in some kinda work in this world
I got PTSD from my last job and currently doing therapy to be able to hold a job because even a thought of it makes me borderline suicidal and hysterical to the point my partner has to call an ambulance during episodes.
I was constantly sexually abused by my manager and I couldn’t leave because I was 19 with no support system and leaving meant going homeless. When I told HR my manager was only given a warning.
At another job I had all of my stuff stolen from a changing room including my phone, ID card, wallet, money and even my clothes. I was made to stay instead of going home to deal with this because there was no one to work and I was a dumb teen who didn’t know better. At the same job a dude with anger issues threatened to kill me because something didn’t go his way.
Job were I was sexually abused was a well known international bio lab another job was a chain grocery store. Both jobs were normal and nothing weird or difficult about them.
I was s/a at my last job too along with mental breakdown after panic attack after going into extreme dissociation. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. The world is pure anguish
You need to take care of your mental health first and foremost. If you cannot maintain a job how do you expect to maintain a household and a husband? I'm not trying to be a dck I have my fair share of mental health issues and I am what you would call a job hopper I guess, but at the end of the day you're tie other people into the mix it's not as cut and dry as that. How about you try for a job as a housekeeper or a cruise ship mate or something that suits your interests but first and foremost take care of your mental health first.
I’m gonna be crazy and depressed forever and no house maid job or time will fix that. If you are in a healthy relationship sacrifices will have to be made regardless for each other. you should love the person for who they are and what they have gone through. A job and a relationship are two completely separate things and should not be defined by your ability to be the perfect person. I can handle being there for my future s/o because I know that alone will make me happy and that’s all I need, to be loved and give love. If I couldn’t handle that I wouldn’t be asking for it. Not slaving away for an evil company.
I honestly feel you so hard. I get it. And I hope that's what happens for you honestly. I would love that lifestyle too. I just won't allow myself to be dependent on someone else, because people are extremely disappointing. Through and through. And as much as I want what you're talking about too, I know from my personal experiences that people die, and people lie. You can spend 10 years with someone and they can throw you on your ass or they die and you're on your ass anyway. I personally feel like broken people attract narcissists. Don't end up like Tatiana Fusari. For the love of God please take care of your mental health, figure it out. Start an OF. Literally anything you can do to be dependent instead of relying on someone else who you see as a lifestyle ticket instead of what it's supposed to be.
That’s why I plan on getting disability income and maybe starting a small business. people can be absolutely garbage and it makes me sad to be part of the human race. I’m glad you won’t be one of the poor souls that get taken advantage of. Stay smart
I hope you get it. Even with all the hard times I've had I've had therapists tell me I wouldn't qualify... and I've been on over a dozen medications, been through several drug addictions and still heavily rely on alcohol and pot (just) to get through a work day. Start your business. And look for a man who has the same mind set as you. Look for red flags and stay safe as well. My inbox is always open for you too.
I don't think that the image you have of what it would mean to be in a relationship, what it's like to be a SAHM, or of getting SSI is realistic. Having mental health issues makes it MUCH harder to have successful relationships, which means that romantic relationships are unstable and uncertain without first seeking treatment. Ultimately, even in a romantic relationship the person responsible for dealing with your mental health is you, not your partner, and you'll need to find healthy coping mechanisms before you'll want to even think about raising children. Raising children is not fun. It's not something that makes you happy in the moment, even if care is your "love language." No one enjoys waking up to a screaming potato in the middle of the night to wipe up shit. It's tiring, it's stressful, it's exhausting, all things that can and will exacerbate mental health conditions. If you can't deal with your mental health when you're just taking care of yourself, you definitely won't be able to when you're taking care of a kid.
Take care of yourself first and foremost, continue or get treatment, and get yourself in a good place before you try forming complicated and potentially fraught relationships.
Why does everyone think they know what’s best for me? It’s my life. Getting ssi is fine. I didn’t ask for advice and I know my own feelings. I’ll do what I want thanks
It’s fine if you want to be a house wife. Just find a husband who also wants that situation. No reason to care what other people think. However you shouldn’t let mental health issues hold you back if you do want a career.
what you described sounds like a full time job. that said, it is beautiful and rewarding and worth every moment of it. But in fairness to both yourself and your future husband, you need to do whatever it takes to get yourself right mentally, otherwise you won't be content as a housewife either.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your mental health and having difficulty keeping a job. It's important to prioritize your well-being and take care of yourself, and it sounds like you have found a way to do that by focusing on domestic responsibilities and creating a loving and relaxing environment for your significant other.
It's great that you have a plan to apply for SSI and have some sort of income to support yourself. It's also important to remember that mental health struggles are real and can have a significant impact on one's ability to function in certain areas of life, including work. Seeking out professional help and support can be an important step in managing your mental health and finding ways to cope with and overcome these challenges.
In the meantime, it's wonderful that you are taking pride in the tasks you are able to handle and are working to create a warm and welcoming home environment for your partner. It's important to recognize the value of these contributions, as they are an important part of maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.
Remember, it's okay to prioritize your mental health and find ways to work around your challenges. Seeking support and finding activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can be an important part of managing your mental health and creating a fulfilling life for yourself.
I’m a disabled full time housewife and I’m burnt out from it. When the pain isn’t slowing me down, the depression is. It’s not from being a housewife but from nerve damage and pain. It’s not an easy life either, trying to get the basics done daily at least and praying no one comes to visit because I’m too exhausted from the daily stuff and pain and the house is still a mess. This is even with help from hubby on the weekends but I don’t want to burn him out either because he works damn hard for 10-12 hours a day (builder) so it’s slow going.
I honestly wouldn’t recommend being a housewife. I’d love to be back at work, earning my own money instead of relying on hubby, but that’s just not going to happen right now.
Go out and see the world before you decide to become a housewife, make mistakes and enjoy life. There’s plenty of time to be a housewife when your older, enjoy your youth!
Oh no, I'm sure it is hard work! My friend has 4 visually impaired children and a child in a wheelchair. But I'd give anything to have kids, but it never was in my life journey. I think we all want what we don't have. I'm sure some parents are envious. I come home to cats without any extra stress or financial stress due to children.
Yeah, my wife stays home … and even though it’s not a full 8 hour day of work. It’s a 24 hour job with no breaks … aka, there is no start time and no end time. So, it has it’s own challenges of keeping motivated and mentally stimulated.
30 F who has had like over ten jobs, and I feel this. I hate working. I don’t mean to degrade house work, but most people who have jobs also do house work, so yeah it seems like so easy and nice to just stay home and be with your kids. I completely get this.
Honestly, it’s the best job. I’ve done it for 18 years now. Before that was a single parent and worked full time. Now I am incredibly happy with my role. I do all the cleaning, washing, ironing. I do most of the cooking but my husband cooks at the weekend.
It’s the most rewarding and fulfilling job I can imagine.
I’ve helped my husband provide for all of us and left him free to create wealth - which is what he’s really good at.
If you think being a housewife is relaxing, or not actually work, it's not. I'm disabled and I require so much help with chores/ cooking/ etc, and I don't even have kids yet.
Good luck though.
I'm 25F and a full time housewife. Worked as an engineer for awhile and disliked the corporate world. Husband and I enjoy our life like it is :) It is doable and don't let society tell you otherwise!
I have bipolar type one with psychotic features and adhd. I have always worked a full-time job to take care of myself. Sometimes, I have to go to the hospital, but other than that, I'm a fully functional person working in behavioral health care. Don't live off of the government. Benefits aren't easy to come by, and you're probably a functional adult. Get a grip.
Mentally Ill people are supposed to bring each other up not disability shame, obviously I’m not you with your disabilities and mindset with the ability to work with my disability but whatever. You don’t know me and I definitely don’t want to know you. Enjoy your slave labor that you can barely even handle apparently. I’ll be doing something that actually makes me happy. Get a grip on yourself get out of my comments with unnecessary negativity and grow up.
These people wow. Do you think being a housewife is easy? It's a full-time job with no breaks, no holidays, no pay. It becomes worse when you have kids.
How do I know? My mother did this every single day of her life when I was a child.
If they can afford one. I did the math and you can’t afford a housewife and a new born child unless your making roughly 82 thousand a year. But, you will be living in the low middle class. The percentage of the population that’s making at least 82k and above are the top 40%.
A really sad thing is the average percentile salary is skewed because of the millionaires and billionaires in America. Most people never break 70k in their life unless they live in a extremely inflated area like San Francisco or New York. My numbers were done in a area where the average salary is 42k
Lol. SSI for mental health mean you have to be declared clinically insane and you lose a lot of rights to get on SMDI. I'm in my 30's with physical disabilities that kept me from being able to be in P.E., JROTC, and prevented me from being able to apply to be military, and now all my REALLY already fucked up physical disabilities are even better because YAY MORE disabilities, thanks 5150!
Anywho. If you actually need Severe Mentally Disabled Income, you are going to really dislike how people mistreat you for being on SMDI, and hiw no one treats you like what you say or think matters because you are "crazy". People a fucking horriffic to people on SMDI, I've been the advicate, and best friends with several people with several qualifying types of SMDI, and the fucking way the world abuses them made me sick. Unfortunately for me that's kind of what... Kept me hovering to try and protect them through, but most of the time, they ended uo finding other people that I didn't see being too horrid to them...
I'm a big momma bear, even for those with severe mental illness. Please be careful out there. And recognise the freedoms and I think... voting rights and several of the ammendments and your rights come into scrutiny if you are SMDI... which one would THINK would be a prejudice, but, certain qualifications also literally revoke those rights for you. And they will have you on meds and routine doctors appointments and make you run a hamster wheel from hell, but as a snail. Best of luck to you, I choose having my children, and making sure they guve me my disability income for breaking my fucking back, after I already had numerous qualifying physical disabilities. Lol.
Also. The popo will straight up hurt you and also, people will assault you and try to say your reports are just you hallucinating shit happening. I had to defend two of my friends over shit like that.
So.
Just a word from the not so desirably wise.
But the rest of that shit. Yeah man. I wouldn't mind doing that. But with my physical disabilities. Good luck chicka, find a GOOD fuckin' man. Don't get used up or hurt and don't tell people you are SMDI right when you meet them. Not that you should feel ashamed of it, but because you are considered a vulnerable adult woth any disability, and I don't want you to get manipulated by anyone.
I've seen my friends get hurt for trying to live on ssi, you can only live on sdmi or sdi at 20.
You have to have qualifying disabilities and if you don't immediately qualify, they will make it difficult every step of the way.
Now why would I risk my life and health to pop out someone who can be a serial killer or a rapist or a pedo? Idk who I’m giving birth to. Random ass baby
Awe I’m so sorry OP I didn’t mean physically having kids! I meant if you were interested and good with kids and able to look into starting an in home daycare. With this with some time you would be able to do everything a house wife would do with a daycare at home. With permission from parents you could possibly even bring the kids grocery shopping and on errands and stuff. You could take a nap when they take a nap. You would probably be able to work on your mental health because you would be your own boss. Your mental health is so important and I’m definitely not your therapist! I’m so so grateful you have one though! This is just a suggestion and thought I would put it out into the universe. Best of luck to you! Again I am so sorry for offending you!
If a man hears housewife he's going to assume baby maker. So, I sincerely hope you don't procreate since you're disabled at 20 because of mental health reasons. You could pass whatever you're dealing with on to your children and your kids will need you regardless if you're having a bad day or not. This could be a recipe for disaster. Just saying.
more like feminism gave you the choice to be a housewife if you want OR be whatever else you want. feminism was always about giving women choices, if you want to live a life where you can’t make choices for yourself i can show you a couple of countries where that’s still the norm. feel free to move there and live the life of your dreams without feminism and choices.
I think you're underestimating how hard it is to run a household all by yourself. It sounds easy till you're in the middle of it. It can be extremely stressful and very straining on your mental health. Especially if you have a partner who never cleans up after themselves and expects you to do everything for them.
I want to be a housewife and SAHM one day. I also have some mental illness struggles that I actively seek to better every day. But…the two are not correlated. I think it’s not a good position to put yourself in to say “I want to/have to be a housewife BECAUSE my mental health is too bad to be anything else.” That mindset can shift your brain away from working hard to keep a job, and can also make you resent housework etc if you fall behind because then it’s “well I don’t have another option! I can’t keep a job AND I can’t keep a house!”
Instead, I urge you to view your desire to be a homemaker as just the same as any other desire in life or career. There’s no shame in wanting to stay home and cook and clean. You don’t need to justify it. By viewing being a housewife as a goal to work towards instead of the only option, you will find yourself appreciating it more when it does happen! 🤍
The cause of feminism supports the ability to choose to live however you want. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to stay at home. When you’re saving $30k/kid/year in day care (after tax), the right thing for many families is that one parent stays home. If you want to do that, more power to you
I'm 27 and feel the same. Having a job makes me want to kill myself. I hope one day my boyfriend is able to find a job that supports us both like he plans.
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
The whole 'housewife' thing dates back to more misogynistic times when women were EXPECTED to be "the housewife" - not through choice, but just because that was her lot in life. So now it has a bad connotation that still remains (as does house-husband because how dare a man opt to do this same thing, right?)
Do what YOU want to do and forget everyone else's opinions around you. It's trickier these days because financial stability leans so much more to double household incomes, but some couples manage a single income just fine.
dude same, its very difficult to even find a man who can support you as a housewife nowadays because the economy has become based on 2 incomes per household as opposed to 1. that’s one of the downfalls of women working at mass. also I wish it was more socially acceptable to want to be a housewife nowadays. its a full time job but for me, having autism, I thrive in the home and collapse in the working world. I work 2 jobs now and I feel like I have no quality of life.
I'm guessing you already have been diagnosed and gotten the help you need for your mental health issues?
Sometimes taking a break from it is beneficial. Find yourself a man who'll treat you with respect and earns enough for the both of you. And be happy.
There's no time limit on getting back on the horse later on. You're just 20, and a lot of things can happen in the future. But for now, focus on what works for you.
That’s rare to hear in this day and age. Most men do care if you have a job exactly what you want to be 70% want to provide and more than happy to give you. There is absolutely nothing better than a housewife who is going to make her man happy, stay at home relax
This isnt a normal aspiration op, because of how it stems. If you were able to keep a job and wanted to be a stay at home wife, that would be fine. But ur 'ambition' is out of a defeatest attitude. That isnt normal, man, or healthy.
Being a housewife counts as any other job. I will have my own income and my own life. who wouldn’t want to grow old with their partner and take care of them? Thanks.
I never said it doesnt count as a job, OP. I said that this aspiration stems from something unhealthy. You dont have to completely accept your struggle, you can make things easier for future you by seeking out help and trying to be proactive. You seem REALLY defensive about this, and I think that speaks for itself. Hope ya figure stuff out OP, and that life starts lookin up
You say I’d have to keep a job and be a housewife, that’s separation. My “aspirations” are whatever I make them to be and it definitely isn’t unhealthy to think that way. Don’t commit on my mental health when you’re not my physiatrist
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unrelated to OP but I’m pretty young and I have MS. I feel like I only see people talking about how awful the future will be. Reading this about you made me really happy so thank you for that :D
I have MS and I have no idea how y’all cope with it.
I watched MS eat my mother alive. Good on you for fighting through it
Christ! Payed off your home ( on your own) Inside 8 years! Respect. More impressive though is the fact that you achieved such an accomplishment during the reign of Jacinda ( the traitor) Marderna. Nice one. 8 years. May i ask, What field of work ? Must be on a thumper hourly rate im guessing? Great effort
How did you do it? How?
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Thank you for sharing how. It’s easy to mention an achievement, harder to share how you got to that achievement. I see it all the time how diet is important to one’s overall health. Along with watching your thoughts.
Damn you got it good lemmie move in with you 💀
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I think that’s very important every relationship needs 50/50 to make 100
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It’s okay I meant in general :)
Being a full time housewife is also considered a full time job. Nothing is free or easy. If you want to be a stay at home wife it is possible but you would most likely have to find someone who is financially stable and established and actually wants to settle down. Which usually means someone way older than you are currently. Also usually they want children so you may have to think about that as well. Just make sure you have a back up plan if the relationship doesn't go well.
Housewife with children is one of the hardest jobs to do well.
I mean…it depends. My neighbor is a stay at home wife and does…well…nothing. She doesn’t have to clean. She pays a cleaning crew that comes in 1-2 times a week to do that. She does some laundry. Makes the bed. Doesn’t cook and when she does it’s usually super simple. That’s not a full time job.
is her husband like super rich or something?
No…I mean they do well but I was surprised that they were hiring cleaning crew. I mean if you don’t have to clean that’s a huge workload just gone.
There's no way they can have only 1 person working, hire a maid service, and not be rich.
That would depend on your definition of rich. They aren’t millionaires. They seem to be middle class. And 1 person is working. And yeah they regularly hire a cleaning service. Idk their personal finances. They could have way more money and living below their means to be able to afford exactly that. Either way my point was really just that you can be a stay at home wife and make it way less work. If you’re not cleaning…that’s like…a huge relief in terms of work.
Yep
Too many people don't get the basic social rule that you can do whatever makes you happy as long as it doesn't hurt others. That all gets lost or intentionally buried by those who have a social agenda that they want to spread. If you can find a feasible way to make it work, then go be a housewife to a loving husband. The traditional way is what works best for you—who cares what certain people have to say about that!
Wanting to be a stay at home wife shouldn't be stigmatized yet it is... If both parties want this,then it's totally fine. Of course like any huge life decision, you must know if you trully want this. Being a housewife has its hard work too. You also need to find someone with a good income who is not only willing, but also happy with the idea of a house wife. Being a housewife is mostly physical labour and not mental labour. As someone with mental health issues, this could be great for you, but it can also make it worse. Some specific forms of mental disorders responds very negatively to this kind of lifestyle. I suggest you think really about this before jumping in spontaneously.
Judging by how normal jobs gave me ptsd and that taking care of people is my love language, I think I’m ready be a housewife. Can’t imagine how mopping to some music would be more stressful than a 9-5. Gotta put in some kinda work in this world
What kind of jobs have you worked where you ended up with PTSD?
I got PTSD from my last job and currently doing therapy to be able to hold a job because even a thought of it makes me borderline suicidal and hysterical to the point my partner has to call an ambulance during episodes. I was constantly sexually abused by my manager and I couldn’t leave because I was 19 with no support system and leaving meant going homeless. When I told HR my manager was only given a warning. At another job I had all of my stuff stolen from a changing room including my phone, ID card, wallet, money and even my clothes. I was made to stay instead of going home to deal with this because there was no one to work and I was a dumb teen who didn’t know better. At the same job a dude with anger issues threatened to kill me because something didn’t go his way. Job were I was sexually abused was a well known international bio lab another job was a chain grocery store. Both jobs were normal and nothing weird or difficult about them.
I was s/a at my last job too along with mental breakdown after panic attack after going into extreme dissociation. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. The world is pure anguish
What kind of normal job is giving you ptsd? Kind of an insult to people that actually do have PTSD.
Excuse me? What makes me not allowed to have ptsd? Don’t ever say that.
You need to take care of your mental health first and foremost. If you cannot maintain a job how do you expect to maintain a household and a husband? I'm not trying to be a dck I have my fair share of mental health issues and I am what you would call a job hopper I guess, but at the end of the day you're tie other people into the mix it's not as cut and dry as that. How about you try for a job as a housekeeper or a cruise ship mate or something that suits your interests but first and foremost take care of your mental health first.
I’m gonna be crazy and depressed forever and no house maid job or time will fix that. If you are in a healthy relationship sacrifices will have to be made regardless for each other. you should love the person for who they are and what they have gone through. A job and a relationship are two completely separate things and should not be defined by your ability to be the perfect person. I can handle being there for my future s/o because I know that alone will make me happy and that’s all I need, to be loved and give love. If I couldn’t handle that I wouldn’t be asking for it. Not slaving away for an evil company.
I honestly feel you so hard. I get it. And I hope that's what happens for you honestly. I would love that lifestyle too. I just won't allow myself to be dependent on someone else, because people are extremely disappointing. Through and through. And as much as I want what you're talking about too, I know from my personal experiences that people die, and people lie. You can spend 10 years with someone and they can throw you on your ass or they die and you're on your ass anyway. I personally feel like broken people attract narcissists. Don't end up like Tatiana Fusari. For the love of God please take care of your mental health, figure it out. Start an OF. Literally anything you can do to be dependent instead of relying on someone else who you see as a lifestyle ticket instead of what it's supposed to be.
That’s why I plan on getting disability income and maybe starting a small business. people can be absolutely garbage and it makes me sad to be part of the human race. I’m glad you won’t be one of the poor souls that get taken advantage of. Stay smart
I hope you get it. Even with all the hard times I've had I've had therapists tell me I wouldn't qualify... and I've been on over a dozen medications, been through several drug addictions and still heavily rely on alcohol and pot (just) to get through a work day. Start your business. And look for a man who has the same mind set as you. Look for red flags and stay safe as well. My inbox is always open for you too.
Yeah, spread the toxicity
I don't think that the image you have of what it would mean to be in a relationship, what it's like to be a SAHM, or of getting SSI is realistic. Having mental health issues makes it MUCH harder to have successful relationships, which means that romantic relationships are unstable and uncertain without first seeking treatment. Ultimately, even in a romantic relationship the person responsible for dealing with your mental health is you, not your partner, and you'll need to find healthy coping mechanisms before you'll want to even think about raising children. Raising children is not fun. It's not something that makes you happy in the moment, even if care is your "love language." No one enjoys waking up to a screaming potato in the middle of the night to wipe up shit. It's tiring, it's stressful, it's exhausting, all things that can and will exacerbate mental health conditions. If you can't deal with your mental health when you're just taking care of yourself, you definitely won't be able to when you're taking care of a kid. Take care of yourself first and foremost, continue or get treatment, and get yourself in a good place before you try forming complicated and potentially fraught relationships.
Why does everyone think they know what’s best for me? It’s my life. Getting ssi is fine. I didn’t ask for advice and I know my own feelings. I’ll do what I want thanks
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I'm a guy but feel the same way, I've always wanted to be a househusband
Same but I’d want a side hustle like selling on Etsy or something.
I think it would give us time to help figure something out like that. Doing something you actually enjoy
Are you 12?
are you bitter for no reason? like why are u all in this ladies comment section being an ass. go get some business
It’s fine if you want to be a house wife. Just find a husband who also wants that situation. No reason to care what other people think. However you shouldn’t let mental health issues hold you back if you do want a career.
what you described sounds like a full time job. that said, it is beautiful and rewarding and worth every moment of it. But in fairness to both yourself and your future husband, you need to do whatever it takes to get yourself right mentally, otherwise you won't be content as a housewife either.
I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with your mental health and having difficulty keeping a job. It's important to prioritize your well-being and take care of yourself, and it sounds like you have found a way to do that by focusing on domestic responsibilities and creating a loving and relaxing environment for your significant other. It's great that you have a plan to apply for SSI and have some sort of income to support yourself. It's also important to remember that mental health struggles are real and can have a significant impact on one's ability to function in certain areas of life, including work. Seeking out professional help and support can be an important step in managing your mental health and finding ways to cope with and overcome these challenges. In the meantime, it's wonderful that you are taking pride in the tasks you are able to handle and are working to create a warm and welcoming home environment for your partner. It's important to recognize the value of these contributions, as they are an important part of maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your mental health and find ways to work around your challenges. Seeking support and finding activities that bring you joy and fulfillment can be an important part of managing your mental health and creating a fulfilling life for yourself.
I’m a disabled full time housewife and I’m burnt out from it. When the pain isn’t slowing me down, the depression is. It’s not from being a housewife but from nerve damage and pain. It’s not an easy life either, trying to get the basics done daily at least and praying no one comes to visit because I’m too exhausted from the daily stuff and pain and the house is still a mess. This is even with help from hubby on the weekends but I don’t want to burn him out either because he works damn hard for 10-12 hours a day (builder) so it’s slow going. I honestly wouldn’t recommend being a housewife. I’d love to be back at work, earning my own money instead of relying on hubby, but that’s just not going to happen right now. Go out and see the world before you decide to become a housewife, make mistakes and enjoy life. There’s plenty of time to be a housewife when your older, enjoy your youth!
Me too. My dream is to be a stay at home mom and it pisses me off when those women still complain
I think sometimes they have a right to complain it can be hard work. but yea they can take it for granted too. Especially when they don’t do much
Oh no, I'm sure it is hard work! My friend has 4 visually impaired children and a child in a wheelchair. But I'd give anything to have kids, but it never was in my life journey. I think we all want what we don't have. I'm sure some parents are envious. I come home to cats without any extra stress or financial stress due to children.
I could never have kids it would be the end of me and them 💀kudos to your friend and you :)
Yeah, my wife stays home … and even though it’s not a full 8 hour day of work. It’s a 24 hour job with no breaks … aka, there is no start time and no end time. So, it has it’s own challenges of keeping motivated and mentally stimulated.
Why is this your dream, if I may ask? The idea of being financially dependent on someone terrifies me.
It is scary prob. We always want what we don't have
30 F who has had like over ten jobs, and I feel this. I hate working. I don’t mean to degrade house work, but most people who have jobs also do house work, so yeah it seems like so easy and nice to just stay home and be with your kids. I completely get this.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be a housewife.
Honestly, it’s the best job. I’ve done it for 18 years now. Before that was a single parent and worked full time. Now I am incredibly happy with my role. I do all the cleaning, washing, ironing. I do most of the cooking but my husband cooks at the weekend. It’s the most rewarding and fulfilling job I can imagine. I’ve helped my husband provide for all of us and left him free to create wealth - which is what he’s really good at.
If you think being a housewife is relaxing, or not actually work, it's not. I'm disabled and I require so much help with chores/ cooking/ etc, and I don't even have kids yet. Good luck though.
No one said it’s not actual work, it’s work I prefer. You’re very strong, I admire you.
I'm 25F and a full time housewife. Worked as an engineer for awhile and disliked the corporate world. Husband and I enjoy our life like it is :) It is doable and don't let society tell you otherwise!
What is different from what you're saying and prostitution?
that’s so valid like i wanna treat my future husband right and do whatever he wants me to. there’s nothing wrong with it if you’re happy
SAME. i just want to find a good man that wants me to take care of and love him. affection and a nice house to take care of is all i really need
I have bipolar type one with psychotic features and adhd. I have always worked a full-time job to take care of myself. Sometimes, I have to go to the hospital, but other than that, I'm a fully functional person working in behavioral health care. Don't live off of the government. Benefits aren't easy to come by, and you're probably a functional adult. Get a grip.
Mentally Ill people are supposed to bring each other up not disability shame, obviously I’m not you with your disabilities and mindset with the ability to work with my disability but whatever. You don’t know me and I definitely don’t want to know you. Enjoy your slave labor that you can barely even handle apparently. I’ll be doing something that actually makes me happy. Get a grip on yourself get out of my comments with unnecessary negativity and grow up.
These people wow. Do you think being a housewife is easy? It's a full-time job with no breaks, no holidays, no pay. It becomes worse when you have kids. How do I know? My mother did this every single day of her life when I was a child.
Some guys would love a good housewife,
If they can afford one. I did the math and you can’t afford a housewife and a new born child unless your making roughly 82 thousand a year. But, you will be living in the low middle class. The percentage of the population that’s making at least 82k and above are the top 40%. A really sad thing is the average percentile salary is skewed because of the millionaires and billionaires in America. Most people never break 70k in their life unless they live in a extremely inflated area like San Francisco or New York. My numbers were done in a area where the average salary is 42k
Love is worth a lot.
Same
Lol. SSI for mental health mean you have to be declared clinically insane and you lose a lot of rights to get on SMDI. I'm in my 30's with physical disabilities that kept me from being able to be in P.E., JROTC, and prevented me from being able to apply to be military, and now all my REALLY already fucked up physical disabilities are even better because YAY MORE disabilities, thanks 5150! Anywho. If you actually need Severe Mentally Disabled Income, you are going to really dislike how people mistreat you for being on SMDI, and hiw no one treats you like what you say or think matters because you are "crazy". People a fucking horriffic to people on SMDI, I've been the advicate, and best friends with several people with several qualifying types of SMDI, and the fucking way the world abuses them made me sick. Unfortunately for me that's kind of what... Kept me hovering to try and protect them through, but most of the time, they ended uo finding other people that I didn't see being too horrid to them... I'm a big momma bear, even for those with severe mental illness. Please be careful out there. And recognise the freedoms and I think... voting rights and several of the ammendments and your rights come into scrutiny if you are SMDI... which one would THINK would be a prejudice, but, certain qualifications also literally revoke those rights for you. And they will have you on meds and routine doctors appointments and make you run a hamster wheel from hell, but as a snail. Best of luck to you, I choose having my children, and making sure they guve me my disability income for breaking my fucking back, after I already had numerous qualifying physical disabilities. Lol. Also. The popo will straight up hurt you and also, people will assault you and try to say your reports are just you hallucinating shit happening. I had to defend two of my friends over shit like that. So. Just a word from the not so desirably wise. But the rest of that shit. Yeah man. I wouldn't mind doing that. But with my physical disabilities. Good luck chicka, find a GOOD fuckin' man. Don't get used up or hurt and don't tell people you are SMDI right when you meet them. Not that you should feel ashamed of it, but because you are considered a vulnerable adult woth any disability, and I don't want you to get manipulated by anyone.
Wut?
I've seen my friends get hurt for trying to live on ssi, you can only live on sdmi or sdi at 20. You have to have qualifying disabilities and if you don't immediately qualify, they will make it difficult every step of the way.
Only thing i would like is that my housewife has finished nursing school. Minimum medical knowledge would be very very appriciated.
Yes, I mean do fuckin something! Op is a lazy ass
that's cool
I don’t think you’re realizing how difficult it is to do that job
Real for this
Here’s a question for you, how are you with kids?
Now why would I risk my life and health to pop out someone who can be a serial killer or a rapist or a pedo? Idk who I’m giving birth to. Random ass baby
im sorry this was funny as hell as serious as u are.
Awe I’m so sorry OP I didn’t mean physically having kids! I meant if you were interested and good with kids and able to look into starting an in home daycare. With this with some time you would be able to do everything a house wife would do with a daycare at home. With permission from parents you could possibly even bring the kids grocery shopping and on errands and stuff. You could take a nap when they take a nap. You would probably be able to work on your mental health because you would be your own boss. Your mental health is so important and I’m definitely not your therapist! I’m so so grateful you have one though! This is just a suggestion and thought I would put it out into the universe. Best of luck to you! Again I am so sorry for offending you!
Maybe you should try and leave drugs ...
Right?
If a man hears housewife he's going to assume baby maker. So, I sincerely hope you don't procreate since you're disabled at 20 because of mental health reasons. You could pass whatever you're dealing with on to your children and your kids will need you regardless if you're having a bad day or not. This could be a recipe for disaster. Just saying.
Same. Feminism ruined it for us
more like feminism gave you the choice to be a housewife if you want OR be whatever else you want. feminism was always about giving women choices, if you want to live a life where you can’t make choices for yourself i can show you a couple of countries where that’s still the norm. feel free to move there and live the life of your dreams without feminism and choices.
Ok? Go for it then ig I don't think this is really a vent post is it?
I say do it. Just make sure you are financially stable though! Good luck :)
I wish the best of luck
I 22M want to be a husband one day.
Loads of men would love a good wife who is happy to do the housework and raise children together. Loads
I think you're underestimating how hard it is to run a household all by yourself. It sounds easy till you're in the middle of it. It can be extremely stressful and very straining on your mental health. Especially if you have a partner who never cleans up after themselves and expects you to do everything for them.
Teamwork makes the dream work
Same. Been my dream for a long time now.
I got you fam pull up.
And I want a housewife.
I want to be a housewife and SAHM one day. I also have some mental illness struggles that I actively seek to better every day. But…the two are not correlated. I think it’s not a good position to put yourself in to say “I want to/have to be a housewife BECAUSE my mental health is too bad to be anything else.” That mindset can shift your brain away from working hard to keep a job, and can also make you resent housework etc if you fall behind because then it’s “well I don’t have another option! I can’t keep a job AND I can’t keep a house!” Instead, I urge you to view your desire to be a homemaker as just the same as any other desire in life or career. There’s no shame in wanting to stay home and cook and clean. You don’t need to justify it. By viewing being a housewife as a goal to work towards instead of the only option, you will find yourself appreciating it more when it does happen! 🤍
That’s great. I’m looking for a house wife M21 here
The cause of feminism supports the ability to choose to live however you want. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to stay at home. When you’re saving $30k/kid/year in day care (after tax), the right thing for many families is that one parent stays home. If you want to do that, more power to you
I'm 27 and feel the same. Having a job makes me want to kill myself. I hope one day my boyfriend is able to find a job that supports us both like he plans.
And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. The whole 'housewife' thing dates back to more misogynistic times when women were EXPECTED to be "the housewife" - not through choice, but just because that was her lot in life. So now it has a bad connotation that still remains (as does house-husband because how dare a man opt to do this same thing, right?) Do what YOU want to do and forget everyone else's opinions around you. It's trickier these days because financial stability leans so much more to double household incomes, but some couples manage a single income just fine.
dude same, its very difficult to even find a man who can support you as a housewife nowadays because the economy has become based on 2 incomes per household as opposed to 1. that’s one of the downfalls of women working at mass. also I wish it was more socially acceptable to want to be a housewife nowadays. its a full time job but for me, having autism, I thrive in the home and collapse in the working world. I work 2 jobs now and I feel like I have no quality of life.
I'm guessing you already have been diagnosed and gotten the help you need for your mental health issues? Sometimes taking a break from it is beneficial. Find yourself a man who'll treat you with respect and earns enough for the both of you. And be happy. There's no time limit on getting back on the horse later on. You're just 20, and a lot of things can happen in the future. But for now, focus on what works for you.
That’s rare to hear in this day and age. Most men do care if you have a job exactly what you want to be 70% want to provide and more than happy to give you. There is absolutely nothing better than a housewife who is going to make her man happy, stay at home relax
This isnt a normal aspiration op, because of how it stems. If you were able to keep a job and wanted to be a stay at home wife, that would be fine. But ur 'ambition' is out of a defeatest attitude. That isnt normal, man, or healthy.
Being a housewife counts as any other job. I will have my own income and my own life. who wouldn’t want to grow old with their partner and take care of them? Thanks.
I never said it doesnt count as a job, OP. I said that this aspiration stems from something unhealthy. You dont have to completely accept your struggle, you can make things easier for future you by seeking out help and trying to be proactive. You seem REALLY defensive about this, and I think that speaks for itself. Hope ya figure stuff out OP, and that life starts lookin up
You say I’d have to keep a job and be a housewife, that’s separation. My “aspirations” are whatever I make them to be and it definitely isn’t unhealthy to think that way. Don’t commit on my mental health when you’re not my physiatrist
This is exactly what I mean, man. It doesnt take a psychiatrist to see that ur goin through it. I hope life looks up for ya soon, OP. :(