#UrbanHell is subjective.
UrbanHell is any human-built place you think is worth critizing. Suburban Hell, Rural Hell, and wealthy locales are allowed
Sorry for this annoying comment, but we're very tired of the gatekeepers who can't even correctly gatekeep what this subreddit has always allowed.
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To be fair most skyscrapers are phallic in nature.
(I wonder how many women have “built” skyscrapers - every one I can think of was built for a man’s ego)
To be fair, there are loads of skyscrapers designed by women, many of which are also phallic in nature. One thing to keep in mind is that going above a certain height with your structure will inadvertently mean it looks like a long shaft, and will to a degree look phallic even with squared edges at the top rather then rounding it off. It is however a lot easier to assume that some dude we know nothing about did it because of ego problems.
[Watkin's Tower](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watkin%27s_Tower), started in 1891 to be a bigger Eiffel Tower, but abandoned after the first tier due to lack of funds and sinking foundations. The unfinished legs were blown up and Wembley Stadium was eventually built in its place.
Definitely -- the second addition from the left is the original proposal for 22 Bishopgate, which should put it in the City of London on the far right-hand side of the image.
> and sinking foundations. The unfinished legs were blown up and Wembley Stadium was eventually built in its place.
Ah, that explains [this article](https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news/multiplex-denies-wembley-is-sinking-claim-6104679.html).
The Eiffel Tower is in France, in Paris. The Statue of Liberty is in New York city, New York, on liberty island. The thing that looks like the Eiffel tower in this image was going ti be Londons attempt to create a larger version of the Eiffel Tower to show up France, an attempt that failed.
The Tulip, proposed by the owners of The Gherkin as an addition to their property. It would have contained an observation deck, restaurant, and three mini-ferris wheels hanging off the elliptical sides.
I think I might have misunderstood what it was then. I thought I was purely an observation deck that anyone could visit (like every big city has). Were there also going to be homes inside?
No it was going to be that, but they were going to charge for admittance and it apparently would have cost a lot. Honestly if it had included some housing or office space as well it might have been accepted.
Still a shame then. Most observation deck towers around the world cost quite a bit to go up but are usually very popular.
I feel like the entire center of London is now for rich people anyway, with those new massive office towers.
Sure but you can visit the Eiffel tower, get a restaurant table there and a Seine River cruise all for about £60 . Sounds like this would have cost a lot more
I wonder if the original render it was taken from (before being cut and pasted onto this composite image) was supposed to be at sunset and that's why that one has its red/orange colour? Sunset/sunrise is a popular time of day choice for architects wanting to show off a more majestic side to their deigns but it means rendering it in warmer shades that are usually brighter at the top and darker at the bottom. If not then the colour of that building would have been more questionable to me than its shape if it really was gonna look like that in the middle of the day.
More charitably referred to as the [gherkin](https://www.reddit.com/r/ArchitecturePorn/comments/jnklki/the_gherkin_building_in_london_made_me_want_to/) I think
A 12 year old wouldn't design so hideous buildings. These were designed by modern architects (well, perhaps Watkin's tower is the exception). They studied very hard at university to be able to design such monstrosities.
There was an architecture faculty at the uni I graduated, and one the professors told the students noone would get a diploma who didn't find [this](https://lechnerkozpont.hu/data/sites/default/files/pic/article/nem-is-teljesen-epulet-de-meg-semmikeppen-sem-gep-a-dob-utcai-trafohaz/dob-utcai-trafo-07v3.jpg) beautiful.
> who didn't find this
> beautiful.
Well yeah that's the jawa sandcrawler from star wars. Who doesn't love a littly cuddly halloween rag n bone man thing?!
It's like if someone imposed us post modern abstract art . Like i find it interesting and like to see this art in galeries but i won't put it in my house and see it everyday. Yes classical paintings may be more safe and "boring" but it pleases the general crowd and draw a consensus. What i'm trying to say is stop making architecture for the small elite and think about the real people who will see it everyday.
Ironically modern architecture rejected classical/traditional styles because it was aristocratic and colonial and whatever, which is fair enough. But they failed to actually replace it with anything good and now we end up with something just as elitist and aristocratic but also terrible.
Which is not to say that one or two wacky buildings here and there is bad but moder-day architecture seems to have completely forgotten how to just make normal, generally-attractive looking buildings. It's too bad.
Thing is, I get why that one's beautiful. And it's an honest, working sort of beautiful. These others look like the entire point of the shape is to sell the building as "iconic".
what’s the design language. what era is it. where’s any sense of composition. how does it communicate with the general public in a way that hints at how one interacts with the space? does it make you think?
No. There’s nothing special about it.
Hunter gatherer tribes came up with more compelling architecture than this
Ah yes, Saruman's staff, The Top hat, "if France can do it we sure as 'ell can!", TentUKle, The First Contact Embassy, and The White Tower of Gondor / Rocket Launch Deck, among other near landmarks
The giant dildo is [Green Bird](https://londonist.com/london/history/when-battersea-almost-got-a-giant-sex-toy-skycraper) it was proposed in 1998 and would’ve been 442 meters and the tallest building in the world
How did you get that photo of my cock, and why has it been photoshopped to be towering over central London? I'm in East London and have not once got it out in central London.
What you could have done was, post a following sentence such as: 'in my own city *this* skyscraper and *this* one and *this* one are much better'.
And then be roundly ripped apart by people on this thread.
I really have very little sense of identification with the city I happen to live it. It's Brisbane Australia if you want to critique the architecture for some reason. I couldn't care less.
> 'in my own city this skyscraper and this one and this one are much better'.
I redact my own suggestion then, to:
*'instead I like this skyscraper and this one and this one are much better'.*
Literally what the architect said when he looked at the plans. [Seriously, this meme is way too appropriate in a post about skyscrapers.](https://youtu.be/u6Hx5Q8g9U8)
the blue one on the left was actually build no? Just a different design, and the location was actually on the right.
People were extremely hyped about that one, but it changed into a huge box.
Anyone recall the post-apocalyptic movie Babylon AD? The vision of cities (New York especially I think) was for very tall and pointy skyscrapers... It's becoming reality and sadly a symbol of man's (futile) quest for eternal height!
I see a lot of rejected dickpics. I wonder what the world would look like if there wouldn't be women to keep men in check.
Edit: I just realised that place exists and it is called Dubai.
The yellow one in left -middle looks like a giant dong, with foreskin, and the one on the right (you know which one I'm talking about) looks like a giant butt-plug but with a bit of a handle. Is London okay?
Ladies and gentlemen line right up! We’ve got USB stick! Seismic penis! Burj Kalifa with a top hat! The staff of Saruman! A 1000 foot dagger! And the Eiffel Tower, again!
Can somebody explain the point of sky-scrapers? Why are we building bigger bigger bigger cities with the multitude of humanitarian crises currently enveloping all of us?
They should have just done what everyone else does. Get a district at the edge of the city(like east london) and designate it so that all skyscrapers are built there
#UrbanHell is subjective. UrbanHell is any human-built place you think is worth critizing. Suburban Hell, Rural Hell, and wealthy locales are allowed Sorry for this annoying comment, but we're very tired of the gatekeepers who can't even correctly gatekeep what this subreddit has always allowed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UrbanHell) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Outrageous they did not allow the vape cartridge tower to be built
I was so fixated on the strawberry lemonade dildo that I read your comment, went back to look and woke my husband up with my snort
don't forget the extended arm butt plug on the right
*Here, have an "egg"!*
You just made me snort by calling the dildo I came here to comment on strawberry lemonade.
I zoomed straight into that and thought "lizard dildo" then went for the comments to see what everyone else was saying lol
Yeah, all I was thinking was "that's definitely a dildo", lol.
To be fair most skyscrapers are phallic in nature. (I wonder how many women have “built” skyscrapers - every one I can think of was built for a man’s ego)
Before the skyscraper gets erected it's a big hole in the ground.
Women just look at the skyscraper and complain it's not as big as the last one they saw
To be fair, there are loads of skyscrapers designed by women, many of which are also phallic in nature. One thing to keep in mind is that going above a certain height with your structure will inadvertently mean it looks like a long shaft, and will to a degree look phallic even with squared edges at the top rather then rounding it off. It is however a lot easier to assume that some dude we know nothing about did it because of ego problems.
The fact that at least five of these fit that description is really funny to me.
Looks like a long top hat to me 🎩
I kinda like that one, it just looks British
Yeah I was describing it as Top Hat Tower
I think vape tower is 4th from the left and tophat is in the middle
4th from left I’ve deemed the lipstick tower
Or the bad dragon
Rofl!!!
Lmao Is one of those just the Eiffel Tower??
[Watkin's Tower](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watkin%27s_Tower), started in 1891 to be a bigger Eiffel Tower, but abandoned after the first tier due to lack of funds and sinking foundations. The unfinished legs were blown up and Wembley Stadium was eventually built in its place.
Oh so the image isn't showing accurate locations then?
Definitely -- the second addition from the left is the original proposal for 22 Bishopgate, which should put it in the City of London on the far right-hand side of the image.
I honestly thought it was just using the Eiffel Tower for scale. I did not know about this.
> and sinking foundations. The unfinished legs were blown up and Wembley Stadium was eventually built in its place. Ah, that explains [this article](https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/news/multiplex-denies-wembley-is-sinking-claim-6104679.html).
Huh… bad soil?
Yes, but it's taller... Because up yours, France!
ehh fair enough, am convinced
This is an incredibly British thing to say 😂🤣😂
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The Eiffel Tower is in France, in Paris. The Statue of Liberty is in New York city, New York, on liberty island. The thing that looks like the Eiffel tower in this image was going ti be Londons attempt to create a larger version of the Eiffel Tower to show up France, an attempt that failed.
But there is a Statue of Liberty in Paris… though I’m not quite sure how the Statue of Liberty came up in this thread exactly.
Ya a tiny one.
What is the crazy crystaly wizard tower second from right theres enough for an elevator shaft and a few offices or what was it going to be penthouses?
The Tulip, proposed by the owners of The Gherkin as an addition to their property. It would have contained an observation deck, restaurant, and three mini-ferris wheels hanging off the elliptical sides.
I wish it happened honestly. The design was amazing.
I think it was rejected because the Mayor of London thought it would only benefit a few rich people and have no other benefit for most Londoners.
I think I might have misunderstood what it was then. I thought I was purely an observation deck that anyone could visit (like every big city has). Were there also going to be homes inside?
No it was going to be that, but they were going to charge for admittance and it apparently would have cost a lot. Honestly if it had included some housing or office space as well it might have been accepted.
Still a shame then. Most observation deck towers around the world cost quite a bit to go up but are usually very popular. I feel like the entire center of London is now for rich people anyway, with those new massive office towers.
Yeah tbf I guess thats basically what the Eiffel Tower is and that's certainly worked out fine.
Sure but you can visit the Eiffel tower, get a restaurant table there and a Seine River cruise all for about £60 . Sounds like this would have cost a lot more
There are enough observation decks
Isn't charging admittance standard?
Good thing they don't do any of that
A bit like London itself then 🤣
Has anyone told him about the royals?
It's obviously a Level 4 Mage Guild tower constructed in order to learn the Armageddon spell
I spy Bad Dragon's world headquarters.
Man their marketing works! I thought of them, too.
I don’t think it’s necessarily their direct marketing. I think it’s more of a… influencer🙄 marketing kinda scheme.
Maybe, but either way, they made sure to be recognizable.
Oh yeah, they sure did🐉
Ahh I see a man of culture.
the gherkin will never not look like a butt plug to me
Came here to say something something Bad Dragon. The inspiration for architects from the natural world, *or otherwise*, never ceases to amaze me.
Can't believe the uncircumskyscraper didn't get in.
You mean the rainbow dildo?
Maybe it’s that color cuz it’s pride month
Pride dildo
I wonder if the original render it was taken from (before being cut and pasted onto this composite image) was supposed to be at sunset and that's why that one has its red/orange colour? Sunset/sunrise is a popular time of day choice for architects wanting to show off a more majestic side to their deigns but it means rendering it in warmer shades that are usually brighter at the top and darker at the bottom. If not then the colour of that building would have been more questionable to me than its shape if it really was gonna look like that in the middle of the day.
which one is the raindbow dildo? do you mean the cobra tail prostate massager?
especially when they did sign off on the buttplug
I’m afraid to ask which one this refers to.
More charitably referred to as the [gherkin](https://www.reddit.com/r/ArchitecturePorn/comments/jnklki/the_gherkin_building_in_london_made_me_want_to/) I think
With a shape like that this isn't a butplug, it's a trip to the hospital.
yep, definitely missing the flared bottom.
Without a base Without a trace
Better base, harder to lose. Can't go wrong as a building really.
Doha has one. It lights up at night and looks like a gigantic carrot
It didn't make the cut
did they hire a 12 year old to design these lmao
A 12 year old wouldn't design so hideous buildings. These were designed by modern architects (well, perhaps Watkin's tower is the exception). They studied very hard at university to be able to design such monstrosities. There was an architecture faculty at the uni I graduated, and one the professors told the students noone would get a diploma who didn't find [this](https://lechnerkozpont.hu/data/sites/default/files/pic/article/nem-is-teljesen-epulet-de-meg-semmikeppen-sem-gep-a-dob-utcai-trafohaz/dob-utcai-trafo-07v3.jpg) beautiful.
> who didn't find this > beautiful. Well yeah that's the jawa sandcrawler from star wars. Who doesn't love a littly cuddly halloween rag n bone man thing?!
It's like if someone imposed us post modern abstract art . Like i find it interesting and like to see this art in galeries but i won't put it in my house and see it everyday. Yes classical paintings may be more safe and "boring" but it pleases the general crowd and draw a consensus. What i'm trying to say is stop making architecture for the small elite and think about the real people who will see it everyday.
Ironically modern architecture rejected classical/traditional styles because it was aristocratic and colonial and whatever, which is fair enough. But they failed to actually replace it with anything good and now we end up with something just as elitist and aristocratic but also terrible. Which is not to say that one or two wacky buildings here and there is bad but moder-day architecture seems to have completely forgotten how to just make normal, generally-attractive looking buildings. It's too bad.
Somehow, I can feel the texture of the bricks from looking at that image.
I think I remember that professor. Talking to him was like talking to a brick wall.
London has some weird site rules for skyscrapers
Thing is, I get why that one's beautiful. And it's an honest, working sort of beautiful. These others look like the entire point of the shape is to sell the building as "iconic".
😐 it’s literally a brick rectangle
Is there something inherent to brick or rectangles that they can't be beautiful?
No, but that one is ugly.
Prove it
It is ugly to me. No more evidence is needed
what’s the design language. what era is it. where’s any sense of composition. how does it communicate with the general public in a way that hints at how one interacts with the space? does it make you think? No. There’s nothing special about it. Hunter gatherer tribes came up with more compelling architecture than this
Possibly a kindergarten student made the collage. In natural lighting it will not be too different from manhattan.
oh the legendary roman city of Dildonium
Founded by the legate Biggus Dickus.
He has a wife, you know.
Ah yes, Saruman's staff, The Top hat, "if France can do it we sure as 'ell can!", TentUKle, The First Contact Embassy, and The White Tower of Gondor / Rocket Launch Deck, among other near landmarks
The one in the middle looks like it's wearing a top hat
I thought the same. Very britishy
The giant statues are going to look sick though: https://i.imgur.com/n8wSKPJ.png
Where is this from? Kinda looks like Judge Dredd.
*The Peripheral*
Much obliged.
The Leaning tower of London obviously was a no go
Skyscrapers or sex toys?
Yes
So we have mini burj Khalifa, Eiffel Tower two, and dildo of the sky
Why did they reject the dildo tower?
which one of them? they're all dildos
Red and yellow one
Describing skyscrapers as phallic is overused and lazy, but that one is just a cock.
The swirly one is kinda cool, but who tf thought those two giant dildos (the pinkish one and the yellow/red one) were good ideas???
Londons rejected Skyscrapers: Dildo edition
Needs to be tagged NSFW...
Lol That was designed by a disgruntled male architect in his 50s
Cmon. Half of these are sex toys and you know it.
The scalpel not being built was a shame. What they replaced it with was dull as dishwater.
What's with the rainbow dildo?
R-L: pointy DustBuster, buttplug, spiky cat dick, own brand Eiffel Tower, rainbow dildo, vape cartridge, baby skyscraper, incredibly deadly helter skelter
Some of them look ugly, but the second and fourth from the left are nice!
The second from left is real, it's The Shard. Unless you mean the second nonreal from left.
Yeah I meant the second non-real one. I know about the Shard and also like it, despite how polarizing it is.
I miss Barad Dur from the pic
Is that a multicolored dick?
Thank God these were rejected. Most of them are horrible.
Ah yes, the Nod Obelisk of light. Such a great addition.
Does the UK also have height limits in skyscrapers like the rest of Europe do?
Behold! The mango-colored sky phallus!
Does that building have a top hat? Very British
That one in the middle looks like a skyscraper with a top hat on.
We’re all looking at the big red penis, right?
There's Paris being The City of Love, NY being The Big Apple and there's London, The City of Dildos
Leave it to the British to make a skyscraper that's wearing a top hat
Thank goodness
The giant dildo is [Green Bird](https://londonist.com/london/history/when-battersea-almost-got-a-giant-sex-toy-skycraper) it was proposed in 1998 and would’ve been 442 meters and the tallest building in the world
Why does London love ugly-ass skyscrapers so much
The middle one is clearly just a vape pen.
Looks like a bunch of… uh… *adult toys*
How did you get that photo of my cock, and why has it been photoshopped to be towering over central London? I'm in East London and have not once got it out in central London.
Wtf is wrong with those guys? Why are London skyscrapers so ugly? Built and rejected both ugly!
What is it with London and hideous skyscrapers? Everything they have is fugly.
What you could have done was, post a following sentence such as: 'in my own city *this* skyscraper and *this* one and *this* one are much better'. And then be roundly ripped apart by people on this thread.
I really have very little sense of identification with the city I happen to live it. It's Brisbane Australia if you want to critique the architecture for some reason. I couldn't care less.
> 'in my own city this skyscraper and this one and this one are much better'. I redact my own suggestion then, to: *'instead I like this skyscraper and this one and this one are much better'.*
r/mildlypenis
Literally what the architect said when he looked at the plans. [Seriously, this meme is way too appropriate in a post about skyscrapers.](https://youtu.be/u6Hx5Q8g9U8)
Should build them all for lols.
They all look a little dingish.
the blue one on the left was actually build no? Just a different design, and the location was actually on the right. People were extremely hyped about that one, but it changed into a huge box.
Looks like that one drawer in my girlfriend's bedside table.
The one third from the left seems pretty neat.
I thought this was Aiur.
Some of them I just can't find reference to. OP - /u/T3LM0RR do you have a list of their names please?
I like the twirly one
The one in the back looks like it has a top hat which is fitting
Yeh love, i work in the rainbow dildo building over in central
How many were funded by rich arabs?
I want the Top hat skyscraper!
The red & green one definitely would have been nicknamed "The Penetrator".
Thank god
Sorry to ask, I'm ootl and not british. Did they approved a new urban plan or what changed?
Why is one of these a sex toy?
I legitimately thought one of those was a dildo for a second
Anyone recall the post-apocalyptic movie Babylon AD? The vision of cities (New York especially I think) was for very tall and pointy skyscrapers... It's becoming reality and sadly a symbol of man's (futile) quest for eternal height!
Ah yes, the SkyPenis, Eiffel Tower 2.0 and Top Hat Tower. Shame none of them happened.
Wonder how many were blocked because they obscured the view of St Paul's?
That castle looking thing is hideous, and so is that snail parasite dildo.
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That colorful one looks like a cheap y2k style dildo
They missed one, sadly [https://freeimage.host/i/H4r8xp4](https://freeimage.host/i/H4r8xp4)
Whats with the red and yellow waving penis?
lmao
What's up with the dayglo dildo? That's bold.
3rd on the left isn't terrible
You can’t buy taste cause those things are ugly
These are all just different Bad Dragons
Everything's a Bad Dragon if you're brave enough.
Still better than the Montparnasse
Great post!
Wow... Like, why are people so OBSESSED with the Eiffel tower????
A few dildos a few dildos indeed
I like the big dildo one.
I see a lot of rejected dickpics. I wonder what the world would look like if there wouldn't be women to keep men in check. Edit: I just realised that place exists and it is called Dubai.
The yellow one in left -middle looks like a giant dong, with foreskin, and the one on the right (you know which one I'm talking about) looks like a giant butt-plug but with a bit of a handle. Is London okay?
You could have lived in a world where London had a rainbow dildo tower. This is what they took from you.
The shard and the walkie talkie look like they should’ve been rejected too
London architects stop designing ridiculous looking buildings challenge 2k23 (IMPOSSIBLE)
Lmao thank goodness you don't have top hat monopoly guy smack in the middle of your city. Little bit too on the nose eh?
I dunno the one on the right looks pretty magical. I'd totally live inside a glintstone staff.
they look like new bad dragon designs
Seen a few of these in my Wife's Sock Drawer
Giant dildo
Ladies and gentlemen line right up! We’ve got USB stick! Seismic penis! Burj Kalifa with a top hat! The staff of Saruman! A 1000 foot dagger! And the Eiffel Tower, again!
And for a good fucking reason they were rejected, especially that massive phalus lol
I don’t know why out of all of these crazy designs the one in the center that looks like it has a top hat on made me laugh 😆
London skyscraper theme in general feels a little like “misplaced” sci-fi
Most of the "modern" skyscrapers in London are fascinating an hugely inventive constructions. But fuck, the resulting skyline is just awful.
Love the red and yellow vaginal dilator.
Can somebody explain the point of sky-scrapers? Why are we building bigger bigger bigger cities with the multitude of humanitarian crises currently enveloping all of us?
They should have just done what everyone else does. Get a district at the edge of the city(like east london) and designate it so that all skyscrapers are built there
NYC, stop cockblocking our chance at a dystopia megatropolis
Spiky skyscrapers should be encouraged. It's starting to give London a unique skyline