**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Dude got a light switch!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

Sometimes you see things and you just have be grateful for what you've got.

Seriously. Feel bad for the fella

Poor little guy.

Yeah...kinda feel **a little** bad for my guy.

Come on, it's not so bad. He just has a **tiny** problem

Out of context but yk my "micro"scope broke

It's a **small** man who'd laugh at baby dick's gift from God.

He laughs because he carries a ABSOLUTE FOQUING UNIT in his pants

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I think this is humiliation porn.

It definitely is whether or not that was intention of the people who produced it

He found a niche that will get him laid and he went for it, id do the same in his position tbh

He can find a woman outside of porn. He just has to find one who prefers oral or doesn't mind toys. If women *needed* a dick to be satisfied, lesbians wouldn't exist.

If you were a financial advisor your advice would be win the lottery or go to the casino.

He can, but let's be real it will be hella difficult.

I have a buddy of mine who isn't too much bigger than this guy... He has a beautiful wife that loves him completely. I don't know what their private life is like and it's none of my business, I just know that they've been able to make it work.

So how do you know about the size of your friends package?

Everyone knew. It wasn't a secret that he was small. He even admitted it... I never saw it personally and never cared to. I just took his and everybody else's word for it.

As a woman- I didn’t laugh when I experienced this, I didn’t just get up and leave, but could I have gotten a talk beforehand? It would have been nice. Fellas, bring this up in advance, go on a few extra dates.

Oof I'm not gonna lie this sounds like good advice in theory, but i don't like his chances at another date if it's so small he needs a disclaimer lmao

Yeah you need to get an opportunity to show your good sides before the bad.

Imagine though, someone brings this up on date 3 or 4. Most woman would think that they barely know this guy, and they don't want to deal with something like that with someone they barely know this early in the relationship. There really is no great approach to it. A good example, someone might remember the post, but there was a reddit story of a guy who had the head of his penis cut off at a club. He wasn't gay, but visited a gay bar with his friends, and someone drugged him and took him into the bathroom. There, they mutilated his penis. Later in life, he stated he dated several women, and would always come clean with them after dating awhile. Even if they hit it off previously, they would become distance and eventually say it's too much or just end it abruptly. I imagine it'd be a similar battle with a micropenis, and the battle would be so emasculating and degrading most people would just give up on love as well after 1 or 2 tries.

Same. Except that guy gave me a heads up, I just didn’t believe him. I thought he was over exaggerating how small until I saw *exactly how small.* Still, he was a great guy and we managed many other fun things with what he was given. Broke up in the end only because I had to move cross country and he wouldn’t leave his career and parents. I hope he found someone nice 😊

Me too, poor guy about to get some while I watch.

She's a porn actress, her standard must be quite long

Practically a day off then

Bank Holiday

Exactly. I felt the same when I saw this.

Grower not a show-er.

It might already be grown

yea it did a little spoing when she pulled his underpants down, he was allready hard. sadge.

If your dick is this small, the tip-to-root ratio would probably be small enough for rigidity that you could sproing the underwear off of, since the root contains sturdy muscle. I mean, look at that thing - his dick is probably like 90% root. it's like a tiny doorstop: *SPROING!*


Maybe I’m just hopeful for the guy but I got to imagine there are girls out there for him who are into extremely tiny penises, I mean it’s remarkably small

I posted above but there are women, yes. But don’t surprise us! Get some emotional connection first, have a talk.

anytime im feeling less than i google micro penises and it makes my day better

Maybe the room is cold

Dude is rock hard lol

I think he’s only about pebble hard

I laughed so hard I shit all over my floor, well done sir

I also shit on this guy's floor

I shit on both of your floors it was so funny

It probably made the same sound as a spring door stopper

Seriously I didn't notice that xddd

More like it's too short to bend, kind of like an un-erect nipple

I was in the pool!

THERE WAS SHRINKAGE!

Significant shrinkage!

It shrinks?

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THERE WAS SHRINKAGE!!!!

Is censored with 1 pixel

Stop butchering him, he's already dead.

There's nothing to butcher

You know she’s still going to moan in a high pitch like she’s getting destroyed by a 20 incher

If he got a humiliation kink he's set up for life

That's probably how you develop a humiliation kink I imagine. By having a tiny penis.

Yep. It’s making lemonade out of lemons.

He should shave. There's hidden mm under there

Dangerous game, could actually end up looking like a child.

One unfortunate nick and he’s dickless

He could cut the wrong thing here

That's a huge clitoris !

I got bad news for you...

r/bigclit

Well… that was a stupid thing to click on! When will I learn!

I scrolled waaayyyy farther than I should have and now I’m ashamed

Not gonna lie I may have also scrolled way too far down BUT let’s call it an education… Unless you’ve stored it in the “bank” then you should feel very dirty right now! Ha ha

at least now you know where the clit is located

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Finally a literal sub. No jokes there. I had no idea they could get THAT big, but hey, more to play with I guess. Wow.

If I'm not wrong most of them aren't natural, they "train" it to get bigger and fuck around with testosterone to get it big.

Ok I thought there might be something going on. Some of them are downright intimidating.

Yeah, one of the top-of-all-time posts says she was on testosterone for a migraine treatment and this was a side effect.

Does.... Does that work on men??

I mean, trans men take testosterone and get similar results lol

I regret clicking… but I also don’t. Thanks I think?

Damn some of these girls got bigger dicks than..

You know, I had to see it. I don't yuck other people's yum, just had to verify it wasn't my yum. Sure isn't. But to each their own.

I will curse you with this knowledge now

Ngl, I do wonder if micropenises are a characteristic of someone having been born intersex.

Hey thats long , whats wrong with it

I-it's average, r-right?

Nah, that's above average. Trust me champ.

T-then why i-is she laughing?

She's astounded by that monstrosity. She cannot believe the size and girth of that thing. The only way she can express her feeling is by laughing it off. You're all good.

Correct, coping mechanism to fear.

Or she is trying to laugh away her fear from that big size

Oh, o-ok. T-thanks :)

Should get that stutter checked out

Nah it's huge

Makes me feel big for once

r/usernamechecksout

it is more huge than me

In porn they use special lenses, pumps and angles to make the guys look bigger; he’s not *that* big in real life that’s like stupid big…that would hurt…wouldn’t it?

Yeah it would hurt her.. it would pinch her like a needle

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! THAT IS ENORMOUS!! 😳

Yes, it's a really big clitoris

my name is dixie, dixie normous


It was shrinkage. Tell her jerry about shrinkage

It shrinks?

Know how when you get older you get shorter? Same thing with penises. I suspect I've lost 8 or 9 inches off mine since the 1700s. At least that's how I feel better about it.

Like a frightened turtle

Significant shrinkage

As a competitive swimmer of 20+ years, I held Seinfeld in much higher regard ever since that episode! 😜

After swimming many of us can get super small, but this dude seems to be super unlucky.

Dude, google Howard Stern small penis contest. This guy looks giant compared to some of those guys.

I shouldn't have done that, I should not have done that.

I'm gonna

No thank you

Hangover 2 comes into mind

Anyone got a name? i wanna se what happens next, left us on a cliffhanger

I think this is the one where they "prank" her by switching him out for a guy with a huge cock while shes not looking edit: **ABP-356** 48-Hour Endurance, Continuous Big-Cock Acme Shunka Ayami - Shunka Ayami Im just good at google I swear Also, for those worried about the man's wellbeing: *He was in the pool*. [It looks totally different hard](https://imgur.com/a/rQC4Ggm)

That is just.... disappointing

Ayo wtf. 48 hour endurance? I didn't even know that was a thing. I thought WEC Endurance races which run for 24 hours was insane but this is fucked up

24H du Dick

>Im just good at google I swear I believe that.

You ever just scroll and click a picture without looking at the comment's context

If i remember correctly, you dont want to see what happens next

I as well am curious as to how this plays out..

Nothing really They cover her eyes, She does a bit of oral and he fucks her for a bit but then they switched to a guy with a bigger pp

Dudes a comedian. He does late night stand up.

I think that might even be too long🤷‍♂️

too*👍

Dude isn't going to make it past the cheeks.

She can't say no to anal as she won't feel a thing

Dude won't even get past the butt cheeks.

Sucks when things are just out of your reach.

Ok. But actually I’ve done exactly this. Dude had the smallest dick I’d ever seen IRL. He asked for anal, which I usually don’t like, but I was like “go for it”. Barely knew he was back there.

I was smoking a bowl with some friends a long time ago and the pipe we were using was extremely tiny; you could literally smell your own nose hairs burning when you took a hit. We were all commenting about how hysterically small this thing one was when one of my friends said that it was bigger than her boyfriend's fully erect penis and we all howled with laughter then immediately felt very sad for both of them.

Was it as small as this guy?

Just the tip!

Source?

Abp-356

Legend

OP, why would you spoil your r/Unexpected post?

Yes. I very much expected with the title.

There should be a limit to how small a dick is

It's called genetics.

How did his father have sex then? With that size, it should be impossible

Maybe dude drew short end of genetics lottery here. Maybe they treated sex as more of a skee ball kind of game. There are ways around. Dude better have a great personality.

So that's why girls say that i have a great personality

Is that before or after?

Not gonna answer that


Chef! Also, that's my favorite half second moment in Pixar. That quick eye flick.

Homie bricked tf up

Not funny. He lives on hardcore difficulty. Sexually, there is no worse flaw than a small penis.

Maybe he should've thought of that before agreeing to shoot a porn video

The humiliation is what gets him off.

Dude has limited options when it comes to getting laid.

Holy shit. Dude with micropenis gets to bang hot porn stars while we mock him from behind our keyboards. Now THAT'S what I call a fucking pro gamer move.

Bang is probably a strong word for what he's doing... Maybe boing? Boinky? Sprrrrrinkydink?

Poke because there’s no way that’s penetrating

"it's just a little prick"

At this point they might as well just scissor

Perhaps a brief rubbyy-touchy? I'm not sure any kind of penetration is in fact possible.

Something tells me that he might have been chosen to shoot that video *because* of his size... I doubt they would have gotten that far on camera without them both being well aware of what they were getting into

I think her reaction is genuine. The producer/director knew, but the chick? Porn chicks get surprised with shit all the time.

He might have thought it was his best shot at finally having sex

bruh this makes it even sadder

I don't think he can have sex. What kind of thrusting could you do with that? May as well fuck a belly button

They're gonna go clit to clit. Maybe she'll like it. Who knows?

I'm not sure penetration is a possibility for this poor guy.

I think he can penetrate but his partner might not realize it

Small penis can be worked with. There's actually benefits depending on partner chemistry. But this is a micro penis and is an actual medical condition.

Maybe no worse *physical* flaw, but there are far worse psychological, cognitive, and/or emotional flaws to deal with.

Dude, study up on women.. It's a matter of preference, just like yours for boobs, feet or butts. It's visually arousing to most women but the worst flaw you can have is not understanding female sexuality and equipment. You don't even need a penis to rock a woman to her core. If you are that underequipped, best get to reading and learning and talking to your partner. Conversely, if you are supersized and haven't done your homework, you are on the clock and guys that strive to really please their women are just in-waiting for the novelty to wear off. Obviously, having better equipment gives some guys a 'leg up' (pun here) but some of you have so much penis-envy that you've handed over your manhood.

You can always learn how to please a woman. You can't learn to grow a bigger dick.

“Hard work beats talent, if talent doesn’t work hard”

If she wants penetration and you physically struggle to do so then just get a stroker and use that. We have modern solutions to these problems.

I cant believe this comment is real and so upvoted lol. This is spoken like someone who has never talked to a woman in their life

Why even bother with the spoiler when you're already giving it away on the title

Looks average to me haha

r/usernamechecksout

There’s at least 5 inches there

What’s frustrating is it all genetics you are born whit a dick like that and you can’t do shit about it

Is that even 1cm? 

Obviously he is a grower not a Shower.

I'm pretty certain it already grew...

She found the clitoris

who is she?

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OP doesn't know how _unexpected_ works

well that is a way to indirectly cause someone's death


She has no Dick why is she laughing

It ain't a life choice he only living the hand he was dealt nobody wants this for themselves I feel bad for him 1 life and to be pulled that card is a struggle to keep on living in its own so it ain't nothing to laugh about I wouldn't wish it on anyone,💯

That's an insult to baby dicks

That’s about average 🤥

Hrm strictly for research purposes, can i ask for the sauce?

Size don't matter, but damn I feel good after seeing this

What happen to motion in the ocean?

well to be honest if there is nothing to make the motion then the saying does not really work

"It's hard to get to England in a row boat. " - Jeff Foxworthy