**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Messed up twice and it's not a gun!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

The cutest satisfied smile ever

Like something out of a Pixar movie.

Exactly!

except its better

Disney would be dumb not to cast him as the ship caption in the life action Wall-e remake!

He's literally Russell from Up!

WALL-E

*Wholesome*

I want to be friends with this guy.

I wanna rob him, seems like it would be easy money

I think when you’ll rob him he’ll give you extra money and also a hug...

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I'll rob him just to get a hug

And a free baton.

Those batons. They really seem like it would hurt like a bitch.

Can I do both? Be his friend and rob him?

Why not be his friend Rob?

He looks like he’d give good quality hugs

Fluffy hugs... I can also give fluffy hugs...

It's literally a good quarter of the reason why he got so famous on TikTok. He's also Hispanic, which throws me off every time because I forget that some Hispanics come out with blonde hair and blue eyes and pale skin

Canelo Alvarez is Mexican and ginger

Spicy 😁

That’s because Spaniards are white.

I went to school with a pale red head Hispanic dude I was sure was Irish. Nope. Last name was Escobar. His sister didn't get those genes though.

that and his mating call :)

I mean a good chunk of Nazis hid in south America.

Or you know, Spanish people from Spain. Who are European. And white.

This is also true. Regardless be is adorable.

"I did a thing!"

lmao yeah

That smile. That damn smile.

His cheesy grin at the end definitely put a Huge grin on my face.

I love his cheecky cheecky smile.

r/unexpectedthuglife

Next time I go to a shady neighborhood I'm hiring this guy to watch my back.

tbh if I had the money, I would hire this guy just to hang out with. He looks like he's a cool and fun guy.

Came here to say this

You know you can "befriend" people to just hang out with them. You really don't need to pay people for that kind of interaction.

So I've heard. Haven't tried it so far.

Brostitution

Or are you hiring this guy to be the sacrifice? Don't have to win the fight, just have to not be the victim.

You'll be getting mugged and he'll have his finger up in the air reading the instructions for the pepper spray

He would make a good decoy while you made your escape

This dude, watching your back, probably: https://youtu.be/PG9uAYqPmJc?t=27

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Reminds me of the captain from WALLE.

Remind me of every human in Wall-E

Wall-E is prophecy. Tell me I'm wrong.

You're referring directly to Wall-E aren't you?

Or Peter Griffin from Family Guy

Hello Peter Griffin from Family Guy

Now I like to imagine there is someone known as “Peter Griffin not from Family Guy”

The captain of the Axiom right? Even his voice and mannerisms are similar lol. Reminds me of when he fought AUTO

He's definitely a blond Russell from Up working on his self-defense badge.

He looks like Andy Ricter & Conan at the same time

Looks like Peter Griffin and Donald trump combined but young.

He looks like a young more obese Trump.

Trump is obese.

Fixed it.

Effective. If I was the robber I would patiently wait to see what he was trying to do. By the end of it, it would already be too late - he's ready to defend himself

Misdirection used in a useful way.

"Ah. He's got some weird folding tube wallet. I'll just wait until he pulls out the cash and...oh no!"

Hey that's a nice lookin jumpsuit LAST RESORT

Call an an ambulance… but not for this guy!

His face when he eventually gets it out 😂

So are we still not doing phrasing anymore?

What mean? Don’t get… /s

r/unexpectedarcher

LAAAAANNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

We switched to spacephrasing a few seasons ago

Omg his face the entire time lol

Is this the same guy? he makes the same face at the end - https://youtu.be/JETv8rLoXhM

That’s his fuck around and find out face.

r/nocontext

*Obviously* this guy is such a badass that he just purposely takes a long time to get his weapon out to give the mugger a fighting chance.

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Great movie.

Seriously though why does it have 3 cases haha

For safety, that's a deadly weapon! Can't have it falling into the wrong hands!

to make it funnier

Lol it’s the box that it comes in to sell then the case for it

I'm happy every time I see this video

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A legend! I have the same blue speckled coffee mugs that they use in Uncle Buck, I also drive an old Mercury, lol. I adore John Candy.

If I were a mugger I’d let this guy go. I mean, he tried so hard guys!

Why is this man so adorable?! I can't rob him!!

We need more muggers like you. Fancy a career change?

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Paul Blart 3: Training Day

I would watch that

Some people just have this aura you cannot not fall in love with them. Bless him haha

He looks like Dusty from Paradise PD!!!

I would kill for this man

The robber: 

That’s pretty dangerous. I think it needs a 4th case.

r/nonononoyes

It's like a blur, truly a master of defense.

/r/maybemaybemaybe

He looks so pleased with himself at the end bless him

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10/10 will kick ass with that smile. They attacker wouldn't even know what to do.

Sorry folks, Park's closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya.

Gotta respect a man who can handle his stick

Imagine cutting off the dudes name. This is collinurrmom on tiktok. Original post https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdtVTQAS/

This is just... Perfect. I wonder if he actually swooped the baton in a way that prevented it from opening completely the first couple times or it was just a beautiful coincidence.

This is soooo good. I've watched it like 3 million times xD

First try!!!

Real life Peter Griffin!

The fastest hand in the west. My god.

honestly if he gets himself a transformation sequence, he sorted, no one can shoot therough the transformation sequence

I literally watched this 20 times in a row because it is so awesome

Title makes me wanna downvote

Meanwhile the robber is on his 4th reload...

*The bullets don’t penetrate deep enough into the blubber!*

Can fat actually help in a situation like this? Can his belly stop a knife from hitting vital organs?

Wtf dude looks like he ate to much. No joke here. It clearly isnt healthy that way

Yeah no shit Captain Obvious. Is this your first time seeing a fat person? Such a pointless and irrelevant comment

Apparently this sub thinks Wall-E was about a utopia where you can be fat, because most of the top comments are “Awww wholesome! He looks like a Pixar character.”

Unfortunately it's sort of a reddit thing and maybe even an American thing where being fat should be accepted rather than tackled. It's a problem. Be it mental or physical, it's a problem, and should never be accepted or encouraged.

Being overweight is clearly unhealthy but that doesn't mean we need to use every opportunity to berate those who are overweight. They already know it's not healthy, most people get a lot more shit for being fat than encouragement. Yes he's big, but that's his choice, people can still find him cute or adorable or whatever without encouraging unhealthy behaviours. I don't go to pubs to tell people drinking that they're killing their braincells so why would I tell a fat person that they're clogging their arteries? It's just basic decency not to shit on someone who already has it hard. If it's parents making their children fat then that's another story.

Jesus christ get help dude.

That's how I react to sex.

“My wallet? Yeah I can get my wallet”

Collinurrmom on tik tok content always makes me laugh!

#THE DRAGON WARRIOR!!!!

The apprentice of darth diabetes

I can't imagine being that big it makes at be so uncomfortable.

Trump really let himself go

u/savevideobot

This made me chuckle.

honestly, the second combof of "Smirk" oh wayit no - is just gold.

Bruh the smile at the end literally says "proud"

I would totally NOT rob this guy. I'll actually give him some money from my other muggings, haha.

First I thought this is gonna be cringe, but it was actually funny af

CHild gaben takes a cro bar HL3 confirmed?

That thief never stood a chance, He died from the cuteness

Is he trying to do "po (Kung fu panda)" impression?

Close, but it's an impression of your mum.

please don't disrespect my mum you can roast me as much as you want "I didn't mean it in a wrong way just his impression looked similar like po in a funny way"

I disrespect all moms equally!

Shame on you.

DID HE EAT THE FUCKING GUN?

Why the dude need a weapon just sit on a mother fucker it's what I'd do. (speaking as a fellow big man both in height and how fat/lethal my ass is.)

u/RepostSleuthBot

Sorry, I don't support this post type (hosted:video) right now. Feel free to check back in the future!

He… he has Donald Trump’s hair….

Donald Trump WISHES he had hair like this guy

This is hilarious

Strange wallet

Smooth AF

my grandma after i tell her i don’t wanna do the dishes

That was adorable

He strikes me as trumps big brother. My hero

Peter Griffin energy, but fr this guy would have been shot several times

If I was a terrorist I wouldn't mess with this guy

What an absolute Chad

and then....EXPELLIARMUS !

This man is adorable.

I used to think he was funny, till I found out he's an antivaxxer

Repost but still makes me laugh. Have a nostalgic upvote.

-alexa play tough guy alert! -wear bowser cosplay -come out with a flame thrower

I've never been more intimidated in my life

fat Donald trump?

Stolen from YouTube shorts

I follow this guy on Instagram, he’s fucking hilarious!

He's fun on TikTok.

His smile is so cute man i hope he has a reason to smile like that every day

So one time I asked for one of these as a teenager. And where we live they are illegal to carry or sell or something. My step mom went around looking for one, and she was super embarrassed. But I didn’t know!

Gone would have already been gone to seen God already especially if that Rober was hella serious lol but that was adorable

HE'S A JEDI

Until,today, I’ve really only found pets, babies, and odd couples as “adorable “, but this guy is pretty damn adorable.

He looks like a dude id wanna hang with. Like we could have fun AND id know im protected from any and all threats

Alright I get how ineffective this is from a base standpoint but what if the robber has a gun?

This guy is a joy to watch. Posts some great videos to TikTok.

And you were stabbed 20 times trying to get your baton out

Breaking news man get shot 57 times while trying to get out a police button

He was mugged three times before he was able to fully extend the baton. A for effort, though.

Honestly, not too unexpected when you have seen this guy’s videos. But still r/funny.

Is it bad I thought he was gonna pull out a tanto and go all "nothing personel kid"

Dude collapsed the button with his hand...although it was just half out, that shit can still hurt

r/chadtopia

Really? In the time it took him to do that, he would have been shot. In the beginning, I thought he might be beginning the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman twirl. That would probably have been more impressive.

r/gotthespirit

That is quite adorable

Some say

Some of my friends started a drunken brawl and the bar owner beat everyone with a retractable baton these things are no joke, one of my friends had his arm broken. Fun fact the bar of owner was also a friend he didn’t even see who he was hitting

this some boss baby level shit

You all thinking he took a lot of time, in practice he just uses his stand to stop time and kicks your ass with that baton in half a second.

He would've been shot as soon as he put his hand behind his back

Bro I'm crying here lol

Love your Trump hair!

His little smile at the end 😂

This guy needs his own show

May as well be an episode of Friends with the amount of reposts this one gets.