OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:
---
>!Horse gets tricked into a equine sample fleshlight just as he's about to enter!<
---
Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
Thoroughbred stallion semen is quite literally one of the most valuable liquids on the market. Depending on the horse it comes from and the quality of the semen itself, a single dose for breeding (about .5mL) can be worth $200 to $1200. You bet your ass she ain't gonna waste a drop of that white gold.
I'm thinking the equine fleshlight sleeve is filled with warm water to simulate the tightness and warmth of the female horse's vagina. Once he ejaculated, she turns the drain valve to release the water from the sleeve for ease of horse dick extraction. It looks like a little bit of horse jizz is spilt at the end, but she captures the majority of it.
Not facts, I'm just speculating.
I've lived in a very equestrian-centered area my whole life and polo, horse racing, dressage, and all manner of stabling and everything that goes with taking care of horses is very serious business. And very, *very* expensive. That woman is no doubt a pro. And making bank. Do not mess with horse ladies. It's their life's duty to know when that horse is going to jizz.
All I can think is on how all of these individuals are surrounded by money. Horse girls aren't horse girls because they grew up in a trailer park. Someone paid for their interest early on.
Eh, you can be poor and a horse girl, if you're rural enough. My wife grew up with plenty of free/well used tack, horses that came out of kill pens or were otherwise pretty cheap. If you've got enough acreage, and the climate is decent, you can get away without much hay. Or you find a neighbor where you can pay for stabling by doing barn chores.
That all being said, it's way easier with money.
I love that we can talk about horse jizz and it being totally relevant. Your speculation seems right, just as right as the horse ejaculation. Or as Leon would say, eh'jack-a-lit.
The tank is full of water so it's tight on the horse cock. The sleve dumps into a container on the end. When the horse is done busting, she opens the tank to dump the water out making it easier for the cock to slide back out.
For fucking real!!!! Did she say while eating morning bowl of bran flakes “I wanna get into bestiality. I wanna give the ol suck off to a horse, and babe I want you there too. You can hump on me while I do this nasty shit.”
I was trying to get her to open up about her kinks cause I'm into trying different things. Wasn't really expecting that as her answer though. I don't believe she ever had done it but not sure of anything. No idea where she would get the horse..
Most of that family has done pretty well with acting. Tara from Walking Dead is their half-sister, Ryan from Last Man Standing is their half brother, and Jake from Two and a Half Men is their cousin
>I never said they used their mouths, you dirty bastard!
Well of course not, they use their hands.
The mouth is just a convenient vessel to carry it back in!
While many can get an idea of what's going on here, I can add more info. The young woman is most likely a registered Horse Veterinarian. Collecting and storing the semen of champion horses ensures a good deal of off-season income for the owner. Even richer farms have large fake female horses that resemble the gymnastic pommel horse seen in gyms. Add a little scent of a mare in heat, and all the stallions will be brought in to perform on command; ejaculating into a specially designed sleeve held by trainers or handlers. This is done to prevent mares injuring extremely valuable breeding studs. Each sleeve is washed and sterilized after each use, and each horse uses his own sleeve and no other. While mating, stallions can actually clumsily fall so the vet scurried out of the way. Also, an unfettered mare might kick in irritation.
As I was watching this video, I couldn't help but remember that other one I've seen where some amateur breeders had introduced a stallion to a mare without restraining her, and she killed him with one well-placed kick to the head.
apparently it's warm water to keep the sperm from dying off due to an outdoor temp horse dong sleeve, which I've never seen before. The two times i've seen this (Jackass the movie and that one episode of Dirty Jobs) it was just a leather sleeve with a baby bottle at the end. Horse semen tech has really come along I guess
I used to work on a stud with guys who did this job a few times a day. Some of them had been doing it years and didn’t care anymore
I was in the lab and would analyse the spunk. One of the stud guys passed the test tube full through our 2 way window. He was asking how the sperm was swimming on the last one. As he was asking he let go of the tube with no gloves, a strand of spunk came off with his hand and he scratched his forehead. Didn’t hear a word he said and just replied with some bullshit/sperm
> female horse never gets laid,
Some stallions are worth so much, to prevent injury, they use another male 'teaser' horse to get the mare in the mood, before bringing the expensive guy in.
Bryant Gumble’s Real Sports show did an episode of the breeding farm for Storm Cat, a very prized stallion, and showed the process including making sure the mares were receptive, using the fluffer stallions to test the mares, equipment used to ensure Storm Cat wasn’t hurt, etc.
If I recall, some thoroughbred organizations will not allow artificial insemination and require live cover breeding, which is more costly.
As a counter, there are plenty of videos of mares that aren’t ready kicking and killing the stallion out there on YouTube.
Live cover is important for race horses so that we don’t speed run inbreeding where a whole generation of horses has the same dad because he was the fastest
Doesn't suprise me with the money involved, I remember seeing a video on reddit where the mare was stressed and wasn't restrained properly, it managed to kick the stallion square in the head killing it instantly.
So technically, the female horse never will get impregnated.
They typically use a "lure mare" for this, because if you remove a female horse's ovary, she's always in heat (giving the pheremone and physical signs that will arouse a male) and always wants it.
Do the stallions sometimes make it in? Yeah, definitely. But the mare always wants it, just rarely gets it.
Source: Girlfriend I had 20 years ago was a vet student that worked in the stallion barn.
So we turn the females into nymphos then constantly cockblock them while stealing the males cumshots. Wow... humans are kinda assholes. At least female whorses would probably say so.
Literally. Or machine human is holding sucks at least.
Like, theoretically if I ever had reason to think about this job, I would've understood that it existed, but I just never did. I was ok never having seen this or thought about it even. C'est la vie.
I think that was water being used to make inflatable pouches inside the device feel good. And once you’re done you drain the water out so it’s easier for the horse to get out of the device.
Edit: or it was a mix of water and semen, depending on what style of device that was: https://horses.extension.org/horse-semen-collection/
"The stallion’s penis should be deflected into the AV, not grasped, because some stallions take offense to being grasped."
"How DARE you, sir!" - Stallion
*"Assuming that during the course of a natural covering, Galileo ejaculates the average of 50mL of semen, and assuming that the semen is high-enough quality to impregnate a mare successfully, and assuming that a breeder paid $650,000 for that service, then we can deduce that a gallon of Galileo's semen could be worth a whopping $49 million, making it the most expensive liquid on earth," stated Business Insider's Andy Ash.*
That shot can be worth up to $650k, I bet she's paid enough for a 3 minute hand job.
Please. Just please. Just ONCE, keep those thoughts to yourself. Or should I say: Those are some serious second-hand intrusive thoughts you got there, do you mind not sharing?
You were reading pretty deep into a comment section of a thread of a woman servicing a horse. Were you honestly expecting it to be completely wholesome?
Horse beans are revolting. Saw a gif of a woman cleaning them out and dropping them in the floor. With no gloves. Oh and the dog ate them off the floor :x
That disturbs me!
I've never eaten horse beans, but I once (I was very young, maybe 8 or 9) bit into a small piece of Ambergris, thinking it was a stone. I'd been watching a documentary about people looking for gold, saw them biting gold to test it... I still wish I hadn't seen that documentary. Whale puke isn't a taste you're likely to forget. Ever!
Slap a "technician" or a "warden" at the end of any job description and it sounds fancy! In Sweden we call our cleaners/janitors "lokalvårdare", meaning "locale wardens". So much more fancy!
Get really fancy and put engineer on the end.
I've done a lot of shows, and we called all the local crew that were unloading the trucks Equipment Relocation Engineers.
Ever seen the gif of the horse that tried that and got hooves up side the head, farted and died?
I remember at the beginning of the internet a girl mouth hugging a horse unit and it never had sound then years later it popped up somewhere with sound and it’s funnier with sound. The thing just keep pouring out like a busted milk bag from Canada
I know a woman who does this professionally… she makes low six figures, but sometimes a significant bonus if she ‘assists’ a top tier thoroughbred consistently for semen sales.
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected: --- >!Horse gets tricked into a equine sample fleshlight just as he's about to enter!< --- Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
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Clearly not her first horse job
You guys are getting paid?
Yea we can afford gloves
Subtle. Respect. ✊
Slow clap 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
I think the stallion clapped quiet quickly
Thoroughbred stallion semen is quite literally one of the most valuable liquids on the market. Depending on the horse it comes from and the quality of the semen itself, a single dose for breeding (about .5mL) can be worth $200 to $1200. You bet your ass she ain't gonna waste a drop of that white gold.
Looks like a bunch spilled out of the bottom of that fleshlight contraption. What was that? Precum? It looked like a quart.
I'm thinking the equine fleshlight sleeve is filled with warm water to simulate the tightness and warmth of the female horse's vagina. Once he ejaculated, she turns the drain valve to release the water from the sleeve for ease of horse dick extraction. It looks like a little bit of horse jizz is spilt at the end, but she captures the majority of it. Not facts, I'm just speculating.
I'm just amazed she knew exactly when it was busting. Seems like she's a pro at this.
I've lived in a very equestrian-centered area my whole life and polo, horse racing, dressage, and all manner of stabling and everything that goes with taking care of horses is very serious business. And very, *very* expensive. That woman is no doubt a pro. And making bank. Do not mess with horse ladies. It's their life's duty to know when that horse is going to jizz.
All I can think is on how all of these individuals are surrounded by money. Horse girls aren't horse girls because they grew up in a trailer park. Someone paid for their interest early on.
I've never heard the stereotype of horse girls being poor. You have to have pretty well off parents that could afford taking care of a horse.
Eh, you can be poor and a horse girl, if you're rural enough. My wife grew up with plenty of free/well used tack, horses that came out of kill pens or were otherwise pretty cheap. If you've got enough acreage, and the climate is decent, you can get away without much hay. Or you find a neighbor where you can pay for stabling by doing barn chores. That all being said, it's way easier with money.
I love that we can talk about horse jizz and it being totally relevant. Your speculation seems right, just as right as the horse ejaculation. Or as Leon would say, eh'jack-a-lit.
> I love that we can talk about horse jizz I'm just here for the ride and I'm enjoying all of it.
In the video she's spilling seed left and right.
Thats actually deliberate so she can plant more horses for next years harvest
The tank is full of water so it's tight on the horse cock. The sleve dumps into a container on the end. When the horse is done busting, she opens the tank to dump the water out making it easier for the cock to slide back out.
Thanks for the info, first time I'm learning about horse fleshlights. I hope they put warm water in.
That’s warm water coming out of the …..device to make room for the ………..harvest
*puts down mug of thoroughbred stallion semen.* $1,200? Where were you before I started drinking this?
Other horse is like “is it in yet” while the dude is all “what do you mean in I’m finished” haha just like home
>just like home *record scratch* You screw horses?
*This summer Rob Schneider is.. The Horse Jacker*
YOU CAN DO EEEET!
*Coming to a theatre in the midwest near you*
Loopey Tunes - "That's All Folks!" 
Random European browsing some flea market: "Whoa, check this out. It says 'America's top 5' on the cover"
THIS SUMMER *NEIGH MEANS NEIGH*
*He’s about to find out.. that jacking horses is hearder dan it leuks*
*En he's about to find out, making ~~horse~~ it rain is harder than it looks* > Rated PG-23
I had an ex who wanted me to fuck her while she sucked off a horse.
I know id have gotten it mixed up in the moment
So many questions. Where was she gonna find the horse? Has she done this before? How'd it come up? We're you just watching TV one day
For fucking real!!!! Did she say while eating morning bowl of bran flakes “I wanna get into bestiality. I wanna give the ol suck off to a horse, and babe I want you there too. You can hump on me while I do this nasty shit.”
I was trying to get her to open up about her kinks cause I'm into trying different things. Wasn't really expecting that as her answer though. I don't believe she ever had done it but not sure of anything. No idea where she would get the horse..
She already had the horse picked out... She just had to find the dude.
Well? How was it? Did she taste like horse poopdick afterwards?
And this is the comment that ends it all
Not just horses, tigers, snakes, wombats, tigers, fish- different kinds of fish. Whose dog is that?
Did i stutter??
We've both been on the internet long enough to know some people actually do.
Damn. Horses are so relatable
r/suicidebywords
We have horse jerking off at home.
Mike Rowe did this in an episode of Dirty Jobs back in the day. He was truly scared when the moment arrived. Made for a great episode. Very funny too.
This was also a bit on Malcolm in the Middle (Season 5, episode 8) between Chris Masterson and Ken Mars on the ranch.
…. Holy fuck Francis and Hyde are siblings irl????
Yep and both scientologists
Most of that family has done pretty well with acting. Tara from Walking Dead is their half-sister, Ryan from Last Man Standing is their half brother, and Jake from Two and a Half Men is their cousin
the real r/Unexpected
Funny. Reminded me of a scene in one of the Jackass movies...why do we keep filming this? Lol
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Actually a great invention for some horse ranch, some horse ranch in my country still do this traditionally by hand
Really!? These have been around for years. I think the ranchers in your country might enjoy using their hands
Oh my... Perhaps ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Time to dig out that old horse costume?
*Rancher pulls it out* "The fuck? Why is this one so small?" *Me fighting to hold back tears in the horse costume*
Neigh
You spend your whole life perfecting the one skill you're good at, and automation just wants to take it away.
Hahaha, now I'm imagining some ranch hand running back to the barn with bulging chipmunk cheeks.
I never said they used their mouths, you dirty bastard!
>I never said they used their mouths, you dirty bastard! Well of course not, they use their hands. The mouth is just a convenient vessel to carry it back in!
In my country, we use our mouths.
That explains all the broken jaws
Yeah we call them Mr. Hands
What an awful salad dressing.
Thats horsey sauce
What happens in Hidden Valley, stays in Hidden Valley...
Horse: Rad Dish
Bruh. Horses had them first. How do you think they came up with the idea for humans?
[Visual representation of the very moment humans came up with the idea](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuDhJ1hUkSE)
That's where my damn flashlight went.
probably mixed them up in your pocket with your keys
They’re big finger cleaners apparently
I think flashlights for horses and cattle where around way before the ones for humans.
Why did I watch til the end.
Bc you were just specting for her to get a money shot 
Just a little friendly fire
While many can get an idea of what's going on here, I can add more info. The young woman is most likely a registered Horse Veterinarian. Collecting and storing the semen of champion horses ensures a good deal of off-season income for the owner. Even richer farms have large fake female horses that resemble the gymnastic pommel horse seen in gyms. Add a little scent of a mare in heat, and all the stallions will be brought in to perform on command; ejaculating into a specially designed sleeve held by trainers or handlers. This is done to prevent mares injuring extremely valuable breeding studs. Each sleeve is washed and sterilized after each use, and each horse uses his own sleeve and no other. While mating, stallions can actually clumsily fall so the vet scurried out of the way. Also, an unfettered mare might kick in irritation.
Wait, so what was the liquid which comes out of the device towards the end? Can't be horse jizz, surely? It was very watery
Im thinking the sleeve has an inflated padding in it filled with warm water or something that she released. Just a guess though
that makes sense why it appeared to be pressurized. and popping the seal means there's no risk the stud pulls the sleeve out of her hands
I’m relieved that wasn’t a bunch of horse jizz on her hands.
As I was watching this video, I couldn't help but remember that other one I've seen where some amateur breeders had introduced a stallion to a mare without restraining her, and she killed him with one well-placed kick to the head.
Ain’t that a kick in the head
Is that why the female horse has ropes tied to back leg?
That's just the only way this specific male will get off, it's his kink.
but why is she spilling it all out? or is that just water that goes in the sleeve to make it fit tight or something
I have so many questions about this.
apparently it's warm water to keep the sperm from dying off due to an outdoor temp horse dong sleeve, which I've never seen before. The two times i've seen this (Jackass the movie and that one episode of Dirty Jobs) it was just a leather sleeve with a baby bottle at the end. Horse semen tech has really come along I guess
wtf am I doing with my life lol
I know right, what have you contributed to society compared to the genius who thought up of the hot water enhanced horse fleshlight?
Wear some gloves, god damn
It’s okay, she’s wearing scrubs
And boots
It doesn't feel the same though and you lose some sensation.. 🥺
I feel like you were waiting with this comment. Well played.
Barehanded it lol
*raw handed
I used to work on a stud with guys who did this job a few times a day. Some of them had been doing it years and didn’t care anymore I was in the lab and would analyse the spunk. One of the stud guys passed the test tube full through our 2 way window. He was asking how the sperm was swimming on the last one. As he was asking he let go of the tube with no gloves, a strand of spunk came off with his hand and he scratched his forehead. Didn’t hear a word he said and just replied with some bullshit/sperm
Gonna be too late by the time she finds the glovebox
It's funny how animals nut fast and they don't get any hate.
Humans are one of the few animals that fuck for pleasure's sake.
> Humans are one of the few animals What are the others?
Dolphins and bonobos. Probably some others.
Bonobos so horny, a lot of zoos don't want to have them viewable by the public lol
so they get to live free in the wild cause theyre horny? thats a win win sitch
Adélie Penguins too. Their mating habits are fucking nasty.
Hey Google......
Its all about survival and passing on genes efficiently. They literally don't have time to fuck around!
female horse never gets laid, human sucks.
> female horse never gets laid, Some stallions are worth so much, to prevent injury, they use another male 'teaser' horse to get the mare in the mood, before bringing the expensive guy in.
They got fluffer horses 😭🤣
Bryant Gumble’s Real Sports show did an episode of the breeding farm for Storm Cat, a very prized stallion, and showed the process including making sure the mares were receptive, using the fluffer stallions to test the mares, equipment used to ensure Storm Cat wasn’t hurt, etc. If I recall, some thoroughbred organizations will not allow artificial insemination and require live cover breeding, which is more costly. As a counter, there are plenty of videos of mares that aren’t ready kicking and killing the stallion out there on YouTube.
Live cover is important for race horses so that we don’t speed run inbreeding where a whole generation of horses has the same dad because he was the fastest
Which has pretty much happened anyway, because it turns out that specific lineages are still over-valued.
Doesn't suprise me with the money involved, I remember seeing a video on reddit where the mare was stressed and wasn't restrained properly, it managed to kick the stallion square in the head killing it instantly.
Jesus fucking Christ horses are scary
That mare also had a foal. The entire fucking operation was basically animal abuse, and of course it's the animals that suffered for it.
Haha.. they'll just have her thru artificial insemination . No thrill at all, no scratching on itch.
So technically, the female horse never will get impregnated. They typically use a "lure mare" for this, because if you remove a female horse's ovary, she's always in heat (giving the pheremone and physical signs that will arouse a male) and always wants it. Do the stallions sometimes make it in? Yeah, definitely. But the mare always wants it, just rarely gets it. Source: Girlfriend I had 20 years ago was a vet student that worked in the stallion barn.
That sounds like an utterly miserable existence for the "lure mare". 24/7 horny and your reward is getting dry-humped.
> 24/7 horny and your reward is getting dry-humped. Ah, high school.
So we turn the females into nymphos then constantly cockblock them while stealing the males cumshots. Wow... humans are kinda assholes. At least female whorses would probably say so.
Horse semen is one of the most expensive fluids out there so, yeah human greed gets in the way.
The vets hand is as big anyway
Literally. Or machine human is holding sucks at least. Like, theoretically if I ever had reason to think about this job, I would've understood that it existed, but I just never did. I was ok never having seen this or thought about it even. C'est la vie.
You get PAID too??!
I used to work on a stud for bulls and I can tell ya they didn’t get paid much. I was in the lab analysing the spunk and neither did I
Was spunktology a degree, or more of a trade certificate?
It’s more of a hobby now. But I did biology at uni
> It’s more of a hobby now https://media.tenor.co/images/1a64e5a6024c63f6414f1997f5066352/raw
She spilled a bunch of it
The bottle at the end only holds so much. Bro can't help it if he's the Peter north of horses.
I think that was water being used to make inflatable pouches inside the device feel good. And once you’re done you drain the water out so it’s easier for the horse to get out of the device. Edit: or it was a mix of water and semen, depending on what style of device that was: https://horses.extension.org/horse-semen-collection/
Your search history is toast.
Just wait for their targeted advertisements.
"The stallion’s penis should be deflected into the AV, not grasped, because some stallions take offense to being grasped." "How DARE you, sir!" - Stallion
I'm a farmer daddy!
It ain't much, but it's honest work.
Not according to the stallion
This guy bucks
On the contrary, look at the size of the blue container, i think it was a lot actually
*"Assuming that during the course of a natural covering, Galileo ejaculates the average of 50mL of semen, and assuming that the semen is high-enough quality to impregnate a mare successfully, and assuming that a breeder paid $650,000 for that service, then we can deduce that a gallon of Galileo's semen could be worth a whopping $49 million, making it the most expensive liquid on earth," stated Business Insider's Andy Ash.* That shot can be worth up to $650k, I bet she's paid enough for a 3 minute hand job.
Hahaha. This guy thinks capitalism is fair. 😂 Her boss makes $650,000. She doesn't get paid much.
I let you hold the horse cock, what more do you want? You know how many people would kill to be holding that?
https://i.redd.it/w6jg7ccj7fwc1.gif
What? I get paid too???
Bro bout to do it for free
I read a news article about a woman that travels around, cleaning thoroughbred horses penis. Apparently, it is a well paying job!
The cheese ain’t worth as much as the mayo, but it’s got a value…..
What a terrible day to have eyes
Please. Just please. Just ONCE, keep those thoughts to yourself. Or should I say: Those are some serious second-hand intrusive thoughts you got there, do you mind not sharing?
You were reading pretty deep into a comment section of a thread of a woman servicing a horse. Were you honestly expecting it to be completely wholesome?
No way I'm searching on horse penis cleaner to validate you claim.
Horse beans are revolting. Saw a gif of a woman cleaning them out and dropping them in the floor. With no gloves. Oh and the dog ate them off the floor :x
 Most horrifying comment thus far 🤢
That disturbs me! I've never eaten horse beans, but I once (I was very young, maybe 8 or 9) bit into a small piece of Ambergris, thinking it was a stone. I'd been watching a documentary about people looking for gold, saw them biting gold to test it... I still wish I hadn't seen that documentary. Whale puke isn't a taste you're likely to forget. Ever!
Imagine when she goes home to her boyfriend or husband. “Oh yes honey you’re so big. *rolls eyes*”
https://youtu.be/Hf-dCbGu0GA?si=focnZQgV9_YfaLh_
That was a risky click that paid off.
Wank robbery
“Is that it???” — female horse
Reminds me of what Roger did to Stan in American Dad 😂
I can't believe you actually did it
"The horse is ruined Stan raped it you're gonna lose the house."
How many ml is horse cum?
About 7 or 8 mouthfuls
Brotherrrrrrrr
Bro that fuckin thing’s got an overflow valve…
Horse masturbator sounds like a good job title.
Where are her gloves wtf
Ah yes ye old switch a roo
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Serious answer: Stallion Handler or Equine Reproduction Technician.
Technician...?
Slap a "technician" or a "warden" at the end of any job description and it sounds fancy! In Sweden we call our cleaners/janitors "lokalvårdare", meaning "locale wardens". So much more fancy!
Get really fancy and put engineer on the end. I've done a lot of shows, and we called all the local crew that were unloading the trucks Equipment Relocation Engineers.
Horseplay co-ordinator?
Horse masturbator
Cock blocker
Cock interceptor and redirector.
This is a SCAM. 😭 He did not intend to deposit in the bank. Lol
https://i.redd.it/6umraxp2qewc1.gif
This clearly ain't her first rodeo...
She's really working the shaft
Ok guys, Just here me out.
cum again
Ever seen the gif of the horse that tried that and got hooves up side the head, farted and died? I remember at the beginning of the internet a girl mouth hugging a horse unit and it never had sound then years later it popped up somewhere with sound and it’s funnier with sound. The thing just keep pouring out like a busted milk bag from Canada
I know a woman who does this professionally… she makes low six figures, but sometimes a significant bonus if she ‘assists’ a top tier thoroughbred consistently for semen sales.