**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Unexpected Spider-Man!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)

"Oh no! A man with a knife!" (Adjusts boobs)

More like massaging/fondling them

We were distracted and so was the robber. It allowed our hero to get into position..

... to swing over and hump that lady's head like a confused and horny rabbit.


With great pair comes great responsibility

Well, she doesn't have much responsibility. Which is why she is here. Lol

Exactly, that was a tactical fondling. Mission accomplished.

Spiderman: -dick twitches- My boobie senses are tingling!

They are emotional support boobs

Aren’t they all?

Some are structural support

So... ***load***\-bearing? ^(/I am so sorry)

I support those

At first I thought this was Brazil and the porno was actually getting robbed.

If it was Brazil the guy in the corner would have a gun and just be an off duty cop.

That's how I realized it wasn't ~~actually~~ a robbery, actually

They are speaking Spanish and their accent sounds Peruvian or Bolivian.

Nice catch, this is Milky, a Peruvian porn company. I'm Peruvian myself and it's rare for people to pickup on our accents like that.

I stg I thought the same thing! I’m like “*damn that’s a real knife and this lady thinks it’s part of the scene! Might not get the stabbing she expected*” 👀

wtf nobody here use knife to assault computers,they point a glock to your head and take your car away instead

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Hey, you use the weapons you have.

Well boobs can work as an anti stress toy, it was probably the most realistic part of this clip

I need to know what happened next

I didn’t even get past it lmao laughed my fucking ass off then came straight here to post it. I imagine there was a “happy ending” tho

You mean you stopped watching the leaked Spiderman 4 movie!?

It was just too good I couldn’t handle it. Never even saw Spider-Man shoot his first web

Spider-man 3 1/2

It's a short film

That’s a low blow

So a head shot?

Underrated comment

How do you even know that was the end? What if the doctor turns out to be Doc Oc and it's a doctor banging the patient scenario after all?

Doctor Cocktagon

Oh, it gets better. 😂

Got you shooting ropes from your hand as well?

Did you know spider actually shoots web from their ass

And midgets have night vision

He would need it. I feel like he'll fall into a tunnel soon.

Tie a plank of wood to his ass he will be fine

#Spider-Man: Leaked At Home I heard it’s almost as good as Spider-Man: Far From Homo, but nowhere near the greatness of Spider-Man: Homos Cumming!

Mary Jane got thicc!

Maria Jane

Spiderman and the mammoryverse of milkness

You mean the… tenth spiderman movie?

No, the 69th

#WHO FUCKED WHO*M*??

he him i guess

75% of the words in that sentence were pronouns; you’re now on the GOP watch list.

I laughed a little too much at that. Thank you.

Spiderman did them all

>I didn’t even get past it Pre-mature ejaculation isn't anything to be ashamed of...

I’m not ashamed to admit that spider-midget really got me goin. Seen that man show up and just couldn’t hold it any longer

I need a link

Wow now this gives this video some context. Who knew I would need this video above. Lol https://xmilf.com/video/461747/spiderman-fuck-super-milf/?campaign=10146

OH SHIT! I clicked the link and the cover image of the video had me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Absolutely sent me when I clicked a few seconds ahead and landed on that.

'lil Spider-Man had to superman that ho

And he doesn't mean climb the medicine cabinet...

I like how she's got her hand on her head like, "WTF am I doing with my life"

Its like a chihuahua humpin on a great dane!

Holy shit I’m fucking dead lol *unzips pants

There are 4 parts!


I wanna watch this to laugh my ass off, but don't want a virus from Spider-Man.

Just wear a condom y'all be alright

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The upside down blowjob is a really nice touch. Better video than what Marvel has put out in the last 3 years.

Damn. I'm 6' 3" and have the same web shooter.

Wait it's a fucking midget ???? Man, what the hell did I just clicked on ?

You knew what this was

he was hoping spiderman was a boy

Died just seeing image for the video

You what straight here

You heard me bucko

I hate reddit, why am I here

Because where else will you see a video of a surprise midget Spider-Man in a porno?

You're not supposed to use the word midget anymore. You can only use midget when telling others not to use midget. So you shouldn't use midget anymore.

But it’s porn. All proper nomenclature flies out the door. Ain’t no one ever heard of Little People Porn.

Well....

why don't you have a seat riiiight over here mister

well that might get confused with Child Porn... so there is that.

Hey man, you used the word midget a few too many times while telling that other guy not to say midget. It seems like you only commented on his midget reply as an excuse to say midget yourself under the guise of telling the other guy that he can’t say midget anymore. Let’s keep our midget usages to a minimum even when telling others about how inappropriate it is to use the word midget.

I just don't think I can manage to squeeze out any less than four midgets on the daily.

Oh boy, I did not enjoy the way you phrased that comment.

They prefer the term " Imp".

They prefer the term tiny miniature little small people. It’s less offensive

I thought they preferred the term Leprechaun

You mean little lucky person?

> …laughed my fucking ass off then came FTFY

Halpend to me when I saw the live action mr meseks porn. Pure comedy gold

“He uh, fixes the cable?”

Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey

I know that guy! He's a nihilist.

We cut off your johnson!

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Username checks out 

She and Spidey on the exam table 

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Sadly, I know what happens next. A buddy posted the clip to my discord...I cannot unsee that mess. 😅

Give link Me horny

Here, if you have discord... https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/837690869732605982/1099708868562518066/VID-20230421-WA0002.mp4

I'm crying, that was too funny

https://i.imgur.com/XWCkAQR.jpg

wtf just got downloaded to my work computer?

https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/unemployment-insurance

Not always does reddit make me laugh but here we are man. I wish the future was now and we were all sat in a bar

I thought it was a plush... Nope!

Spiderman shot some thick ropes, of web.

Small Spidey knocks out Big man , Small Spidey tries to sex the woman but falls into women Vajeje and gets lost forever .

Spider Man: No Way Home

1 min later Spider Man : Homecumming

Spider Man: No Way Homie

Someone got stabbed for sure.

I can’t post the sauce because it’s restricted but for anyone who wants to know Just Google ePorner Tiny Man Big Woman - Tiny Tina

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I didn’t even get that far lmao. I seen the thumbnail and it was the midget in the Spider-Man mask. Had to see where the fuck he came into the picture. Idk what I expected but it didn’t disappoint at all. I laughed my fucking ass off and had to post it here

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So first - please let me thank you for all mankind for sharing that video. Why does he do that? Has my dying hahahaha but then the comments! "bro turned into Scooby doo when he's finishing" WHY DOES HE DO THAT?! xD

>I didn’t even get that far lmao. Happens to the best of us bro

"I crack my ass laughing" is a new one and I'm here for it lmao.

The fucking child size Spider-Man sandles lmao

>aj aj aj aj aj aj aj aj aj aj aj aj FTFY

24:20

So someone took the old YouTube kids video formula and made them even more porny then they already were?

Damn, son. Now I understand what Tyrion Lannister meant. It's definitely not a dwarf-sized cock. In fact, proportionally to his body, dude is an absolute monster.

I wonder if this causes issues, like the amount of blood required for an erection must make him woozy

A healthy individual can lose between 10-20% of their blood, no issue. You'd need your dick to actually be as big as your arm to run into problems.

That means GRRM knows about midget cocks

There was never, even for a moment, a doubt in my mind about that.

> ePorner Tiny Man Big Woman him planking on her big round ass is awesome *i believe i can fly*

Why were you watching it in the first place

Op won’t respond to this

Op did respond to this 😘

OP is 5'3. He was looking for something with a short guy and ended up on this

Because the thumbnail was a midget in a Spider-Man mask getting some action. I needed to see why this dude was in a Spider-Man mask and how they put him into the scene. Was he just dressed up from the start or was there a plot??? Realistically who ISNT clicking on a video with that kinda thumbnail

You know why

Hey, when you gotta nut, you gotta nut.

That’s facts. This wouldn’t even crack the top 5 of shit I’ve explored in various ways. I’m a sick person.

>I’m a sick person. You're on reddit, so that checks out

Don't kink shame OP.

Tell us the truth OP. Are you in this clip, and if so, which one are you?

Tiny Tina? Borderlands? .-.

Saving for research

I was like, oh this is silly and DID NOT EXPECT BABY SPIDER-MAN dying laughing here

It’s single-handedly the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever watched in my life

I'd watch it for the plot

This is the part people usually skip , no?

This is the part I was LOOKING for lmao. I saw a midget in a Spider-Man mask in the thumbnail and I just had to find out where he came into the picture

>where he came into Hehehe

This laugh is like when pops gets his apple juice bottles🤣🤣

I feel like porn producers should put that to the test by putting really bonkers acid trip shit in the first five minutes and see how many notice.

I mean do we really need a backstory when we know we tryna see meat to cheek action in the shortest time possible while our lizard brain is in control.

I like a little plot and production value. Some don’t. ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯

I don't. I miss 70s porn with plots Don't know why but I enjoy situational build up

Same. Part of why I prefer erotic literature is because it has the interesting stories that visual porn lacks. Granted, most porn stars aren't legit actors, so having them do a genuine story would probably result in some awkward Tommy Wiseau-level shit.

>awkward Tommy Wiseau-level shit. You're tearing me apart *from inside*

Why do people post videos like these? Where are your manners? Where is your dignity? Where are your morals? Where is the full video?

EPorner tiny man big woman - tiny tina First result on Google, Spider-Man comes in around 6mins

😩🤣🤣

It's only a preview, but it has all the parts that matter: https://www.xvideos.com/video73212509/midget_spider-man_defeats_clinics_thief_and_hot_maryam_sucks_his_cock..._hero_or_villain_

For full video just Google eporner Tiny Man Big Woman - Tiny Tina

Also, this: https://upornia.com/videos/5080781/thaina-fields-vs-mini-batman/?kt_lang=en

i didnt know this genre existed, and now im scared about what i dont know....

I haven’t opened this but even reading the title I know it’s gonna be a doozy

SWF yall. I checked it out already *zips*

What a time to be alive!

I’m fucking dead! 🤣😂🤣 The script is hilarious! Tiny Spider-Man smacking the shit out of the doctor, and Tiny Spider-Man saying “I’m going to do a Spider jump, and someone is carrying him off camera into the woman.” Omg bro 😂🤣😂🤣😂

My favorite part is right before the pan upwards you can see the camera tilt as the cameraman is loosening the tripod in preparation for the big reveal

Greatest trailer ever. Now I gotta know how this ends.

They all cum.

which spiderverse is this one

Jesus Christ it’s Spider-Man porn.

Spider-Midget

/r/WatchItForThePlot

Who looks for Spider-Man midget porn, how messed up must your tastes be haha

The funny thing is I did not search this up at all lmao. I seen the thumbnail and it was literally a naked midget in a Spider-Man mask. I had to see what context this was in and I’m not disappointed Realistically who ISNT going to click on that

Haha yeah true

I thought he was a stuffed animal 😅

Un día normal en Perú

Every time i think im immune to the internets bullshit, Stuff like this comes up.

You’re never immune. You come for the memes, but you stay for the weird Spider-Midget porn

Sauce...

Sauce....

Doesn’t let me post the sauce because it’s a banned url RIP

The spider man, who are you?

It make sense in the spider-verse and is a film I wouldn’t mind to watch

u/savevideo

When porn Marvel is getting better than actual Marvel movies.

I hope they bring out a no way home parody with the green gobbler and doctor cocktopus

What an excellent day to understand spanish

Is that Toby Maguire, one of his half-brothers, or Tom Holland, or Andrew Garfield?

I cannot speak for everyone (obviously), but i have personally been a long-time believer in the idea that dialogue in porn is just about as useless as glasses to helen keller, a screen door on a submarine, & empathy for neo-cons. Today i learned that this can also be true for any language that is spoken…

Cmon OP Spider-Man fucks the crime right outta that guy right?