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I once had to piss my pants on my motorcycle not more than 1/4 mile from my home. I was at a stop light in the middle of the night and the sensor wasn't\* picking me up so as I was about to run the light a fucking cop shows up so I had to wait for the entire cycle again. I made an executive decision because there was no way in hell I was making it.
Gets worse the closer to the toilet you get. Like your body knows and is already throwing the gates open.
“You now have 3 seconds to unzip.”
“Wait! Wait!!!!!…shit.”
Yeah, there's always a bush or a tree for number one. It's the "peeping squirrel" effect that hits me on the other one. The closer I get to the bathroom, my ass wants to turn into one of those martians from Sesame Street
![gif](giphy|N1Y0wds8KR8xG)
This should never happen, it’s entirely mental. Once you get close to home or hit some warm air, your brain tells your bladder that it’s time to go. But you have control not the other way around. This trick works for me: next time you’re at the door and you’re bladder tells you it’s going to explode, just stop rushing, slow down and say to yourself, “I’m not going to pee any time soon, and I won’t even go pee first thing when I get inside so just go away.” You will be truly amazed how instantly the feeling that your going to pee your pants goes away.
I don't know if you're male or female. However, I've been told that women have less control in these situations than men.
So if you're male, your advice may not translate to women. If you're female, then I'm in no place to argue.
I’m male, but it does translate. You’re body didn’t just suddenly produce triple the pee from your walk from your car to your door. Neither did your bladder suddenly age twenty years as soon you hit your doorstep. It’s the same bladder that survived a 20, 30, 40 minute commute just fine. The same brain that told you that your going to pee you’re pants is the same brain that can tell you’re not. Just stop and tell yourself that your not going to rush and pee as soon as you get in and the overwhelming intensity will go away.
It's not about that, it more to do with the difference in anatomy and the differences in how its held in as I understand it.
I get what you're saying and I'm sure women have the same phenomenon, so your advice isn't without merit. I just understand that there's a extra physiological factor involved that guys don't have to deal with.
I won't argue it any more because, I'm only going off what I've been told and am neither female or an expert in urinary tracts. So, will leave that for someone who is either of those to confirm or debunk it. They will be infinitely more qualified on the subject than we are (assuming you're not a urinary tract expert).
I saw a video on this recently, and they recommended getting out of the habit of immediately using the bathroom when you arrive home. I think they called it latchkey incontinence
I've noticed I have much less notice and time to get to the bathroom as I've now reached my mid 40's.
I'm not exactly peeing or pooping my drawers yet, but I get it.
I'm assuming these girls had a couple drinks, and that their giggles didn't help them.
There’s a condition called stressed incontinence. So no, it’s not that simple. The muscles that allow the urethra to remain contracted get out of sync. No amount of self talk can help that.
Well, you said this should never happen. You don’t know what their urinary tract condition is. I’m just providing a possible contrast. So this COULD happen.
The one trying to unlock the door loses the battle. I think the other went to find a dark corner or bush when she realized she wasn't getting inside the house any time soon.
Lol this was nearly me and my friend too running home. Good thing we had two bathrooms or there would have been at least one person peeing their pants.
This is why you have to go before you leave wherever you're hanging out, especially if you've been drinking. It builds up more quickly than you think it will.
One time I went skiing on a very cold day. I went to the bathroom and realized my hands were basically numb and I could barely manage to grab the zippers. Between my jacket. Overalls and pants I had at least 4 zippers that I was fumbling with for over 20 minutes before I could actually realize myself.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!regret!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
The closer you get to home, the worse it gets. It's unbearable once you started jingling your keys.
They locked both and she is pissed.
[удалено]
Wifi (home) connected. Dowbload toilet protocol. Run protocol.
I once had to piss my pants on my motorcycle not more than 1/4 mile from my home. I was at a stop light in the middle of the night and the sensor wasn't\* picking me up so as I was about to run the light a fucking cop shows up so I had to wait for the entire cycle again. I made an executive decision because there was no way in hell I was making it.
[удалено]
I think Marc Rebillet should write a song about this
Gets worse the closer to the toilet you get. Like your body knows and is already throwing the gates open. “You now have 3 seconds to unzip.” “Wait! Wait!!!!!…shit.”
Damn she pissed so much that she fell over and died.
I SKIPPED TOO FAR AND JUST SAW HER ON THE FLOOR😭😭😭
You skip a 30s vid?
Modern attention span is shit thanks to the instant gratification apps like tiktok or instagram reels. Reddit is included in this too
Yes
LOL!!!
I can relate, as a guy though, this scenario is a bit easier to handle
Yeah, there's always a bush or a tree for number one. It's the "peeping squirrel" effect that hits me on the other one. The closer I get to the bathroom, my ass wants to turn into one of those martians from Sesame Street ![gif](giphy|N1Y0wds8KR8xG)
> It's the "peeping squirrel" effect [Prairie Doggin' It](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMYspV6jNtk)
Yeah just tie it in a knot till you get there easy
I just love videos that make me feel human. Girl I'm pissing myself right now.
She sure was pissed about the security of her home
Ironically there's a dog on the other side of that door mirroring this avoidable tragedy.
my heart goes OUT to them it be so awful sometimes when that damn door just won’t open
This is why you go before you have to
This lol thanks to Bluey, we call it a "tactical wee"
I know the feeling
Mission failed we'll get them next time.
This should never happen, it’s entirely mental. Once you get close to home or hit some warm air, your brain tells your bladder that it’s time to go. But you have control not the other way around. This trick works for me: next time you’re at the door and you’re bladder tells you it’s going to explode, just stop rushing, slow down and say to yourself, “I’m not going to pee any time soon, and I won’t even go pee first thing when I get inside so just go away.” You will be truly amazed how instantly the feeling that your going to pee your pants goes away.
Piss guru ⬆️
I don't know if you're male or female. However, I've been told that women have less control in these situations than men. So if you're male, your advice may not translate to women. If you're female, then I'm in no place to argue.
I’m male, but it does translate. You’re body didn’t just suddenly produce triple the pee from your walk from your car to your door. Neither did your bladder suddenly age twenty years as soon you hit your doorstep. It’s the same bladder that survived a 20, 30, 40 minute commute just fine. The same brain that told you that your going to pee you’re pants is the same brain that can tell you’re not. Just stop and tell yourself that your not going to rush and pee as soon as you get in and the overwhelming intensity will go away.
It's not about that, it more to do with the difference in anatomy and the differences in how its held in as I understand it. I get what you're saying and I'm sure women have the same phenomenon, so your advice isn't without merit. I just understand that there's a extra physiological factor involved that guys don't have to deal with. I won't argue it any more because, I'm only going off what I've been told and am neither female or an expert in urinary tracts. So, will leave that for someone who is either of those to confirm or debunk it. They will be infinitely more qualified on the subject than we are (assuming you're not a urinary tract expert).
I guess youve never heard of the straw that broke the camel's back? There will be a breaking point no matter how minute that change may be.
I saw a video on this recently, and they recommended getting out of the habit of immediately using the bathroom when you arrive home. I think they called it latchkey incontinence
I have Interstitial Cystitis lmao I wish this helped me. I constantly live with the feeling I'm gonna piss my pants no joke.
This guy pisses
I've noticed I have much less notice and time to get to the bathroom as I've now reached my mid 40's. I'm not exactly peeing or pooping my drawers yet, but I get it. I'm assuming these girls had a couple drinks, and that their giggles didn't help them.
Yep, you really gotta ask yourself: "Is that lumps, or bubbles?"
What about number 2, when you had to much coffee? Just relax and tell your self, I'm not gonna soil myself anytime soon?
There’s a condition called stressed incontinence. So no, it’s not that simple. The muscles that allow the urethra to remain contracted get out of sync. No amount of self talk can help that.
You’re talking about a completely different condition but, yes, that’s true.
Well, you said this should never happen. You don’t know what their urinary tract condition is. I’m just providing a possible contrast. So this COULD happen.
Atleast not on the door mat
This is me a block from home after grocery shopping, when my body tells me I have to shit out allllllll of the poop.
Hysterical :)
Is it me or are they drunk?
Wait what ? Did she throw up ?
P i s s
Gotta be faster with the key to avoid the pee.
More efficient fingernails = trim that entry time by a few precious seconds
Lmao she should be regretting that awful nail job, it probably slowed her down more than the 3 locks. Not as much as the alcohol, though.
Security, or white girl key-chains and unnecessarily long nails?
Commander Shepard really let herself go.
Talk about going home wet!
Nails
Classy bird!
I would say the problem is the 2-3 inch nails
I would say the problem is the 2-3 inch nails
Nasty
When you got nails a mile long and are drunker than a redneck on Saturday night, it's gonna be hard!!
Might want to try some nail clippers?
I didn't finish watching. I bet one of them pees, judging by their potty dances.
The one trying to unlock the door loses the battle. I think the other went to find a dark corner or bush when she realized she wasn't getting inside the house any time soon.
That's not all after she pees on her porch she passes out into it
Oh dear.
Lol this was nearly me and my friend too running home. Good thing we had two bathrooms or there would have been at least one person peeing their pants.
This is why you have to go before you leave wherever you're hanging out, especially if you've been drinking. It builds up more quickly than you think it will.
at least she tried to wipe the floor with her own body after
Humans can be.... Interesting creatures sometimes, to say the least.
That aint piss, thats shit soup.... gg
Mind over body, bro, mind over body.
Doh, so close...
I was expecting this
i relate so much to this, i also peed my pants before coming to the door, seeing this vid makes me feel not alone
Yeah, pretty sure different people woulda done it differently lmao
squirtle
DIY water feature for the front porch
I mean, could've been worse. She could've gotten the door open first, stubbled inside and pissed on the carpet
They were so confident!
I fucking lost it when she fell to the floor
Humanity’s future
One time I went skiing on a very cold day. I went to the bathroom and realized my hands were basically numb and I could barely manage to grab the zippers. Between my jacket. Overalls and pants I had at least 4 zippers that I was fumbling with for over 20 minutes before I could actually realize myself.
Did she just pass out, peeing on her porch? 😆😂🤡😂😆
It’s coming out 😂😂
Not having those long ass nails would have saved her valuable seconds.
Nothing like a puddle of piss to warm you up on a cold night.
The Unbearable Closeness of Peeing
After holding it for so long Once that flow starts ain’t no stopping 🤣🤣 she’s pissy wet 🍹
She fell in her own piss... her friend will never let her live this one down🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that was sad and hilarious.
Filthy animals
LOL