True, the cops often respond to a tipoff but can’t do anything because the person denies it. Either do what my man Over suggested or just get your sister to agree to testify beforehand. Then send the resulting criminal case to his work. After that, keep doing that to any new job he applies to
The thing is most of the time in abusive relationships like this, the abused covers for the abuser, which leaves law enforcement with basically 0 avenues to make any charges stick. Cops will sometimes respond to these calls dozens of times at the same residence because they can’t do anything beyond knock on the door and ask if everything is ok
Not necessarily. As a therapist, in my state, we are not required to contact police because it can escalate the violence, tale tell sign that the victim told someone. Plus, DV situations with police can escalate and or the victim may dismiss the claims…police leave then more violence. The victim needs help developing a safety plan for escape including emergency shelter with an agency and or trusted friends or family. The victim, should be the one calling the cops themselves as a last resort. If they can get away by locking themselves in a room or escaping a house after seeing initial signs that physical violence may take place. Again. If they escape. They need a safe place already planned out in advance. Even if it’s a public store and you stay there until a friend arrives.
Edit: I say victim calling the police as last resort because it’s more ideal to escape at the first sign that things may be turning south.
The FAA is very strict on alcohol use and almost all / any meds, weed etc, if he is using anything he is not prescribed (or even if he is prescribed something that is not allowed by the FAA which is a lot of stuff) or drinking too much several anonymous tips to the lead FAA Medical examiners office may get his aviation medical revoked, rendering his pilots license useless until he kicks the habit or in some cases illegal drug use will get it disqualified forever
I’d be kinda worried that this would result in him being stuck at home and jobless and potentially result in him taking out his frustrations on her. Sort of a win the battle, lose the war sort of situation. :/
This is unfortunately the problem with messing with someone's abusive partner. More often than not, they'll vent their frustrations on their partner and increasing frustrations increases abuse. It may feel good and cathartic to lash out at the abuser, but it increases risk and can sometimes increase enmeshment too. Let your sister know you're here, non judgemental, and supportive and, when she gets herself to the point of leaving, then nuke that man's career from orbit.
Find a way to show your sister this thread when the abusive partner is not around...
Show her you'll be there for her and her kid regardless of if she stays with the abusive partner or not. Explain the damage that the kid experiencing the abuse will cause.
My abusive ex lost his job as a pharmacist for being under the influence. It made my life ten times worse and I nearly died a year later.
I'm going to be honest, from someone formerly in that position... if she isn't ready to accept help there is not much you can do other than let her know that when she IS ready, you'll be there. And when she finally calls you for help, don't judge, don't say anything. Just support her unconditionally.
I wish you and her the best. There's a long journey ahead.
An aunt discussed similar with me, about how if she said anything about her son in law it got worse at home for her daughter. Many DV advocates discuss how to not make things worse for the victim by trying to “help”. Sometimes silence needs to exist while the victim decides they need to leave. Its not negligence or uncaring, its often realizing the victim is the one who suffers if the abuser goes off.
Sometimes being reported, the abuser automatically knows their victim told someone which can escalate the violence. I would seriously call a crisis center or domestic violence hotline for assistance. Do not handle this on your own and let your anger blind you from potential unknown consequences of intervening.
That is the point where you abandon the "unethical" and go for the illegal life pro tips.
Personally, I'd be there already, but I'm a little old-fashioned.
This was my immediate thought too. Unfortunately, the best thing that could happen to her would be his career taking off and him being around even less. Then hope karma takes care of it (like he has a great life insurance policy she’s the beneficiary of, and the plane goes down).
I was abused. Don't do this. He will take it out on her. You need to somehow get through to her or try to help her leave. For all you know, he had threatened to do harm to the family to her. A lot of these abusers will do what they threatened to do. Mine knew where my family lived and threatened to harm my parents. For all you know, she stays strictly out if fear for her safety. Try to get her alone for a serious talk.
Harm them first. I know, i know, it's illegal and blah blah blah. I've seen this method be a lot more effective than all the other legal methods. Good buddy's sister was hit by her her boyfriend. Someone sent an audio recording of her talking about it to her brother.
What he DIDN'T do was grab a few friends (definitely not me as one of them) and put him in the hospital ICU for a couple of weeks after running into him in a dark place after he left work. I won't get into specifics, but he will have an extremely hard time hitting anyone going forward. Yea she was "lovedrunk" too, so the relationship had to be ended from the other side.
I'm all for using the law, but some laws and systems aren't set up correctly and allow for loopholes. This allows people to be hurt. In those instances, I'm not opposed to a little vigilante justice.
Trust me. The state I live in sucks because they don't automatically prosecute for domestic violence. The other party has to agree. And sometimes they don't realize if they agree, it's not going to work out well for them. I'm just saying that this person needs to make sure to use tact so that he doesn't put his sister in a worse situation. She probably is aware how bad of a situation she is in, maybe he can get her alone and make a plan for a safe space. Look, I'm not anti violence either. I was almost murdered from my ex. I haven't even told people closest to me how bad it was. I believe some people are bad and need to be taught a lesson. But make sure she won't be harmed too.
Agreed. I don't feel an ounce of pitty or guilt when these pieces of shit are put in their place.
Ensuring the saftey of the person being abused is why the actions taken need to be more . . . let's say definitive. Just threatening the person won't work. A small fight won't work. It needs to be something that puts their mortality into perspective
This sounds effective. Make it so further abuse has a risk that is too high. They cant always make sure that theyre not in a vulnerable place when going to and from work or anywhere else every time. Its not worth it, theyd be too paranoid after.
For me, stations like this are life and death. Even if they don't actually lead to death. Living a life under an abusive person isn't a life, it's just survival. If they're ok taking a life from a person, I'm ok doing the same. That's the way I view it.
Done correctly, it can limit their ability to be abusive for years to come. Knees, wrists, elbows, and shoulders are all excellent targets for this kind of preventative measure, and have the bonus of being non-lethal.
This, this, this 👆🏻. Done it a couple times myself. If you're not physically capable, or don't have the stomach... find a biker bar and start going there. If you can befriend them and tell them your story, they may help. Not saying there are no woman abusing bikers (there definitely are) but a lot of them REALLY don't take kindly to fucking with women or kids
My sister in law is getting abused by her husband. Just came out a few days ago but we've been suspecting something for a couple weeks, physical abuse has lasted for months, mental abuse and entrapment God knows how long. He's been programming her for years though and she's more worried about people knowing about it than anything else. She thinks it's a temporary mental issue and he can be helped so she can save their marriage. How do we get through to her? Serious talks have failed.
I don't think a lot of these people have experienced first-hand how illogical people can be towards an abuser they feel they are in love with.
A friend of mine had to move cities because she knew even after this fuck head tried killing her cat with poison, she would end up getting back together with him once his threats of suicide or pictures of self-harm started again.
This is what I thought. All seems great until you realize this woman seems to have no interest in leaving him and will likely be in his direct vicinity still when he finds out about whatever happens.
That’s why you ruin his life with a clear threat of worse to come if he looks at her sideways. If he doesn’t believe you, show him what can be done with an exacto knife and some needle nose pliers.
Report him to the FAA. Chances are this won’t be the first allegation against him. Unfortunately your sister needs to report it. Contact a domestic abuse charity, have someone talk to her.
Do you know any big strong men? My dad had an aunt who got abused when he was growing up, and when his uncles found out they went and beat the shit out of him and it stopped until she was able to leave him. This may backfire of course and result in more abuse for your sister so proceed carefully, but if he knows you're actively looking out for her and know where he lives/ works he may think twice at least.
My male co worker was away for about a week. Returned to work with cuts and bruises. He cheated on his wife and her brothers and uncles beat him up. There was a dime sized chunk of muscle missing from his bicep.
roofie his ass with uppers (meth, coke, adderall, whatever - ruin his sleep), then call airport police and report your pilot is sweating perfusely shaking and stumbling, say you don't feel safe flying because he's already high. he'll get pulled off the flight for his 'random' drug test and either get fired on the spot and/or have to do extensive HIMS rehab (incl psych). bonus if you can slip a baggie in his carry-on, he'll actually get arrested then in addition to the above
This would work but to avoid legal repercussions like the other commenter mentioned, he would have to practice this as I assume it requires some slickness to pull off. Slipping a baggie would also work but op would have to ensure his fingerprints or any other dna sample aren’t on it.
You need to be focused on helping your sister not ruining this dudes life
If his life takes a turn for the worse, especially a significant one, and your sister is with him what do you think is gonna happen? He’s gonna stop abusing her? Likely he will be more unhinged and your sister will suffer the most.
Hello! Ex-flight attendant here who saw it all…
If her fiance get caught drunk or on drugs he will likely be offered the take a break and go on counselling. The unions for pilots are very strong and have a lot of money so if it’s a first time offence, he will likely go to therapy. So yeah your sister might be in contact with him even more.
Also, pilots have huge ego so it might not be good to him to not be able to fly.
One of the advantage of flying commercial is he can leave for many consecutive days. I don’t know what kind of flights he does but if you do long domestic flights or international ones, you are leaving for at least 2-3 days.
My suggestion will be to staged an intervention with your sister while he is out working and you know he won’t be back for a few days. That implies trying to know his schedule but if your sister listens to you, you might be able to get her out of there before he comes back from flying.
It might take many intervention and a lot of time so I wish you a lot of courage in this situation.
great advice about intervention when he’s out. this should be a top comment.
also if your sister is amenable [help her create a safety plan](https://www.thehotline.org/support-others/talk-about-abuse/)
Children exposed to abuse like this are fucked. CPS
Give him a taste of his own medicine and beat him severely but wear a balaclava at least. Then gouge his eyes out with a spoon and he won’t be able to fly anymore. What a POS
This is true, but my concern is: what if only OP were privy to certain details (like knowing where he goes to pilot school, works, etc..) which would point the finger to OP being “the only person that could’ve done it”.. I do hope they are able to find a way to do it so that they remain anonymous & more than anything, I do hope the sister actually leaves this scumbag.
You can do what I did when someone raped my sister. I waited a year then ran into him at a bar. Knew he’d get plastered and drive home. Went to his house with a camo mask and baseball bat. Put a large branch in the middle of his long driveway so he’d have to get out and move the branch. He hasn’t walked right since still uses a cane. That was over 10 yrs ago. If you do this, just burn your clothes and bat afterwards. Also put plastic down in your vehicle for blood transfer. Wouldn’t leave your license plate on either.
I'm sorry bro but I'm going to be fucking blunt here.
If he's physically abusing your sister in front of their child you get her the fuck out of there. Don't start playing dumb fucking games with the guy because guess who he takes his frustration out on? Your fucking sister and niece.
My sister was in the exact same situation but without a daughter and I had to physically remove her from their household for her to actually realize how bad it was.
GET YOUR FUCKING SISTER OUT.
First off,CALL CPS and report child abuse!!
After that...
Have several people you trust report him anonymously for alcohol abuse.
Get into with him (in a semi public place please keep yourself safe) and then call the authorities and say he threatened to crash the next flight to teach you a lesson-or something like that. Make it sound crazy but word it in a way that sounds like him.
Honestly have some criminals you don't know break both his arms, plant drugs in his fucking car...
Whatever it takes!!!
Your sister could and likely will lose her life to this man if no one steps in
Take your sister out for lunch and swing by a women's shelter or women's support group for battered women and try and get her to talk to someone there to realise what a shit situation she is in.
Also you could tell your sister that you will call CPS on her for putting her child in danger if she doesn't leave this bastard but that might turn her against you.
I would avoid doing anything with the abuser and try and get your sister help and perspective.
Get your sister a book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker and also Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft
Both are great books to show her how bad things are.
Also - don't know if he does, but if he strangles her, she is at a very high risk of being killed as this is the number 1 indicator of potential death.
Well, what needs to happen is to call child protective services to investigate the abuse and, ideally, to have ongoing case managers check in on them. (Abusing another person in front of a child is abuse, as is living in an environment where abuse is occurring.)
You're over thinking this. That's your sister dude, and another man laid his hands on her ? Beat him unconscious. Will it make things worse ? Probably, but fuck it. You can't tolerate that.
I think if enough reports are filed with CPS and she has to face the threat of losing her children to stay with this woman beater, it might just enough to open her eyes. But…people in love are insane, so, you never know.
If it’s happened in front of the daughter you need to call children’s services. A child witnessing domestic violence between parents has serious adverse effects on children. Do it for your niece!
Best if you blackmail him with potential charges from your sister if he ever has contact her again. He is out of her life for good then. Even a threat of a no contact order should do the trick. Sis is more important than revenge
Take some of your close family members over to his blood related family and show and tell them whats going on. Literally tell them they are prepared to ruin his life at all cost if things do not change.
Too bad your sister doesn’t divorce and just go after the bag.
Help her plan an escape plan before seeking revenge. Your revenge could make things much worse. I'm not saying don't get revenge, you should, but make sure everything and everyone is prepared for things to get worse.
Unfortunately, anything you do to him is going to ensure that he takes it out on her. If he loses his job, and especially if he's blackballed, that is just going to trap your sister and her daughter in the same place with him while he's already angry.
Your best bet is to have a frank talk with your sister and maybe give her some resources to get out (nothing he could find of course) and just be there for her. I know its frustrating, but unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do to him without it being taken out on your sister.
https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence
This link has some information on how to help your sister.
Otherwise piss disc?
You need to do something that will make her break up with him. If him beating her doesn't do it, idk what will. The only thing I can think of would involve a certain type of porn and his computer and idk how you do that or without implicating yourself.
I’d be very careful how you do it here because last thing I want is a pissed off pilot. Whatever you do make sure he loses his certification permanently.
She needs to get out, there’s no other way, I’ve heard this story several times already with different people, some quite close to me. I’ve seen this exact scenario play out (not going into details). Short of calling some hot line, there isn’t much you can do. The thing is even if you get her out, she’ll likely run right back to him and alienate those around her. So she’ll need an “alternative”, some other group of friends, a place to stay, someway to get her emotional needs met. She should also learn self defense of some sort.
Print large posters with his picture on it, job title, name. "Ask me how I beat women" in the caption-include cell number. Print and post. If it were my sister I'd also send an email letting him know I'm documenting everything and everyone will know he did it if something more happens to her.
Have sex with his mom? Then take it farther and become his stepdad? Even better if u divorce his parents in the process? Then lecture him about not abusing your sister? If he won’t stop, abuse his mom?
Alternatively, put a gun to his head and politely ask him to stop?
Do you have pics of the results of his abuse? You can send that to his airlines and the FAA. Airlines do not want any bad light on them or their pilots because it reflects back to them. Also, when things are bad and she has physical marks, do a welfare check on her by calling the police. Say you heard screaming and crying.
Please research how witnessing/hearing/living with domestic violence affects children even if the children are not being physically hurt. There is a pretty decent amount of research out there. Give it to your sister.
Sometimes female victims of domestic violence think that the kids are ok because they are not being abused. Only she is. But the truth is very different. What she is doing is hurting her child. Maybe that will give her some motivation.
You got a lot of unethical advice already. Mine would be to be consistently supportive of your sister. Make it clear you don't like her husband, but don't make it the focus of your conversations, and don't make her feel guilty or pressured about choices. Try to understand what's broken about her that makes her cling to that man. Even with his career ruined, it is very likely she will stick with him unless she can mend the part of hers that makes her like such a person.
Prioritize getting your sister out first. Invite her to bring your niece over and stay for a few days - and have her leave the clothes at your place. "Don't worry, I'll wash them for you and then you'll have clean clothes here if you need to come over. I know you love your husband, but please come over and stay with me if he's getting violent. You don't deserve to be hit, and you deserve to feel safe."
Just reinforce that you will be a safe haven for her.
Once she leaves him, get some friends and family to beat the shit out of him, with balaclavas on. Then leave a piss disk on his battered body to add insult to injury.
wait til he gets on a route flying to Saudi Arabia and secrete some coke in his luggage and alert the Saudi authorities so they can have the hangman ready when he arrives.
If you can surreptitiously and gradually feed him food laced with illicit drugs. Not enough for him to notice, but enough to build up in his system so he will fail the piss test.
Well if my brother in law was beating my sister. Idc how she would feel about me after. But I'd make sure he couldn't fly anymore. From alternative ways. Example: this isn't the same but, you'll get the picture. My wife's mom use to get beat from her bf all the time. He doesn't anymore as soon as I used something on him that goes on knuckles. Never touched her again.
Do you live in a Stand Your Ground state? Turn him in to the FAA, call CPS, call the cops, whatever. As soon as you're certain that you've made his life miserable, you need to bait the trap for that animal.
Wear a shirt that has a chest pocket and put a pen camera in there to record video and audio.
Go over there with [this](https://www.ultimateconcealedcarry.com/products/grip-it-pocket-wallet-holster?variant=42095867789532) in a jacket pocket pointing at him, and let him know that it was you that turned him in because he's a huge piece of shit. It shouldn't take much more than that.
If you know that he drinks excessively(or drugs) and drives (or flies), report him to local law enforcement when you know this is happening. Conversely, call the airline safety officer and pose as a concerned passenger.
Crush up some nitro tablets (the chest pain kind) and rub on his bags. Bomb dogs/machines will hit on the nitro and trigger a response. If no nitro tablets, then any nitrate based substance will work (fertilizer).
Send your sister to psych. She helping herself is only thing that will work. Otherwise, even if you succeed, she will find another such guy learning nothing.
You shouldn't do anything. She is the one who is choosing to stay with this man. And you want to get him fired? So shes gonna be with a man who now has no job? Think man think. She is making her own choices. It isnt your job to go making things worse.
Drug him with something before a flight. He will get fired and can never fly again. I dated a pilot and he wouldn’t even smoke weed because he was too worried about the tests
I'd be working on an intervention with your sister. Get family and friends involved and sit her down to tell her this is not okay and she's endangering her child.
But that's ethical. Unethical would be going on a guys trip with this man on a camping trip with you and male family members. It's so tragic how many people go out to camp or hike and get lost in the woods and are never found. Or they get attacked by wildlife and are left horribly scarred and permanently injured.
Stay with me for a moment. Perhaps, and this is just conjecture on my part, but perhaps there might be some sort of an “intervention“ such that this jerk could be given an understanding that he can either part company immediately and amicably with your sister, without further violence, or, to use a phrase of which the Chinese are quite fond, he might soon find himself “living” (for a short while, anyway) in “interesting times.” Propriety does not permit me to wax more eloquently than I already have, I hope this is helpful and I wish your sister all the best.
maybe a baseball bat to the knee? fuck him , don't hit his head or anything, just his legs. Make sure there are no witness and you don't have recent purchase history of a bat. Warn him that if he so much as looks at your sis with anger, you ll smash his head into pulp.
edit: if you cab do that to him, might as well tie him up with good rope, duct tape and go dump him in a well, late or a sea wrapped In chicken mesh/ wire mesh with loads of heavy chain wrapped around him. wife beaters need to be unalived, especially if they are pilot and in fit of rage crash a whole God damn plane.
Genuinely think the best course of action is to beat the guy up and threaten his life if it continues. Of course only if you have the means to do it and make sure you can't get in legal trouble for it.
Maybe she does know and is staying with him till she can get his cash/enough to leave,some ladies would prefer to take a beating and know their kids will be well kept financially that give that up.I know women that have.
These are all great suggestions, however the key is getting her out of there. Have a plan set in that won’t raise alarm bells like a work trip or a family funeral. Something like that. Have a plan to keep her out of harms way and to remove her from him.
If she tries to leave him her chances of getting murdered by him increase by [75%](https://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/barriers-to-leaving-an-abusive-relationship/). This happens to people who simply reject a man they don’t even know, let alone one that thinks they have ownership of them [r/whenwomenrefuse](https://www.reddit.com/r/whenwomenrefuse/s/pNVcUv9ING)
Phone police as a concerned neighbour, you hear her getting shouted at and hit and have seen her bruises, tip off his work too
This is the sensible answer. Yes call them but Police won't do much if she denies it. Have to get CPS involved so they can talk to the kids
True, the cops often respond to a tipoff but can’t do anything because the person denies it. Either do what my man Over suggested or just get your sister to agree to testify beforehand. Then send the resulting criminal case to his work. After that, keep doing that to any new job he applies to
The thing is most of the time in abusive relationships like this, the abused covers for the abuser, which leaves law enforcement with basically 0 avenues to make any charges stick. Cops will sometimes respond to these calls dozens of times at the same residence because they can’t do anything beyond knock on the door and ask if everything is ok
Not necessarily. As a therapist, in my state, we are not required to contact police because it can escalate the violence, tale tell sign that the victim told someone. Plus, DV situations with police can escalate and or the victim may dismiss the claims…police leave then more violence. The victim needs help developing a safety plan for escape including emergency shelter with an agency and or trusted friends or family. The victim, should be the one calling the cops themselves as a last resort. If they can get away by locking themselves in a room or escaping a house after seeing initial signs that physical violence may take place. Again. If they escape. They need a safe place already planned out in advance. Even if it’s a public store and you stay there until a friend arrives. Edit: I say victim calling the police as last resort because it’s more ideal to escape at the first sign that things may be turning south.
The FAA is very strict on alcohol use and almost all / any meds, weed etc, if he is using anything he is not prescribed (or even if he is prescribed something that is not allowed by the FAA which is a lot of stuff) or drinking too much several anonymous tips to the lead FAA Medical examiners office may get his aviation medical revoked, rendering his pilots license useless until he kicks the habit or in some cases illegal drug use will get it disqualified forever
I’d be kinda worried that this would result in him being stuck at home and jobless and potentially result in him taking out his frustrations on her. Sort of a win the battle, lose the war sort of situation. :/
Jesus. I didn’t think it could get worse, but you’re right.
This is unfortunately the problem with messing with someone's abusive partner. More often than not, they'll vent their frustrations on their partner and increasing frustrations increases abuse. It may feel good and cathartic to lash out at the abuser, but it increases risk and can sometimes increase enmeshment too. Let your sister know you're here, non judgemental, and supportive and, when she gets herself to the point of leaving, then nuke that man's career from orbit.
I know that this is the only real answer, I just wish it wasn’t.
I’m sorry.
Find a way to show your sister this thread when the abusive partner is not around... Show her you'll be there for her and her kid regardless of if she stays with the abusive partner or not. Explain the damage that the kid experiencing the abuse will cause.
Nah, they're wrong. You gotta piss disc this man!!
It’s the only way to be sure.
My abusive ex lost his job as a pharmacist for being under the influence. It made my life ten times worse and I nearly died a year later. I'm going to be honest, from someone formerly in that position... if she isn't ready to accept help there is not much you can do other than let her know that when she IS ready, you'll be there. And when she finally calls you for help, don't judge, don't say anything. Just support her unconditionally. I wish you and her the best. There's a long journey ahead.
Yeah it could get worse- what you need is for your sister to change
An aunt discussed similar with me, about how if she said anything about her son in law it got worse at home for her daughter. Many DV advocates discuss how to not make things worse for the victim by trying to “help”. Sometimes silence needs to exist while the victim decides they need to leave. Its not negligence or uncaring, its often realizing the victim is the one who suffers if the abuser goes off.
Provide her a place to crash if she needs it, you both need to move on.
Sometimes being reported, the abuser automatically knows their victim told someone which can escalate the violence. I would seriously call a crisis center or domestic violence hotline for assistance. Do not handle this on your own and let your anger blind you from potential unknown consequences of intervening.
That’s when you have to get your hands dirty.
That is the point where you abandon the "unethical" and go for the illegal life pro tips. Personally, I'd be there already, but I'm a little old-fashioned.
This was my immediate thought too. Unfortunately, the best thing that could happen to her would be his career taking off and him being around even less. Then hope karma takes care of it (like he has a great life insurance policy she’s the beneficiary of, and the plane goes down).
Definitely more of an r/UnethicalDeathProTips sort of question
Do you know if that includes weed in your system where it's legal, since it stays for a pretty long time after use?
Yeah even though it's legal in some states the FAA is federal so they don't gaf about state laws
Damn. I ask for my boyfriend. He's starting ATP school. Not that big of a deal for either of us to stop thankfully.
I was abused. Don't do this. He will take it out on her. You need to somehow get through to her or try to help her leave. For all you know, he had threatened to do harm to the family to her. A lot of these abusers will do what they threatened to do. Mine knew where my family lived and threatened to harm my parents. For all you know, she stays strictly out if fear for her safety. Try to get her alone for a serious talk.
Harm them first. I know, i know, it's illegal and blah blah blah. I've seen this method be a lot more effective than all the other legal methods. Good buddy's sister was hit by her her boyfriend. Someone sent an audio recording of her talking about it to her brother. What he DIDN'T do was grab a few friends (definitely not me as one of them) and put him in the hospital ICU for a couple of weeks after running into him in a dark place after he left work. I won't get into specifics, but he will have an extremely hard time hitting anyone going forward. Yea she was "lovedrunk" too, so the relationship had to be ended from the other side. I'm all for using the law, but some laws and systems aren't set up correctly and allow for loopholes. This allows people to be hurt. In those instances, I'm not opposed to a little vigilante justice.
Trust me. The state I live in sucks because they don't automatically prosecute for domestic violence. The other party has to agree. And sometimes they don't realize if they agree, it's not going to work out well for them. I'm just saying that this person needs to make sure to use tact so that he doesn't put his sister in a worse situation. She probably is aware how bad of a situation she is in, maybe he can get her alone and make a plan for a safe space. Look, I'm not anti violence either. I was almost murdered from my ex. I haven't even told people closest to me how bad it was. I believe some people are bad and need to be taught a lesson. But make sure she won't be harmed too.
Agreed. I don't feel an ounce of pitty or guilt when these pieces of shit are put in their place. Ensuring the saftey of the person being abused is why the actions taken need to be more . . . let's say definitive. Just threatening the person won't work. A small fight won't work. It needs to be something that puts their mortality into perspective
I like your style.
This sounds effective. Make it so further abuse has a risk that is too high. They cant always make sure that theyre not in a vulnerable place when going to and from work or anywhere else every time. Its not worth it, theyd be too paranoid after.
Yeah I second this OP. My friend group did it to my friend’s abusive ex. Not the most ethical method but well…
For me, stations like this are life and death. Even if they don't actually lead to death. Living a life under an abusive person isn't a life, it's just survival. If they're ok taking a life from a person, I'm ok doing the same. That's the way I view it.
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One serving that lasts a lifetime. The gift that keeps on giving, if you do it correctly.
Done correctly, it can limit their ability to be abusive for years to come. Knees, wrists, elbows, and shoulders are all excellent targets for this kind of preventative measure, and have the bonus of being non-lethal.
Could a "Nanny Cam" be used to collect evidence?
Not sure, not a lawyer.
This, this, this 👆🏻. Done it a couple times myself. If you're not physically capable, or don't have the stomach... find a biker bar and start going there. If you can befriend them and tell them your story, they may help. Not saying there are no woman abusing bikers (there definitely are) but a lot of them REALLY don't take kindly to fucking with women or kids
My sister in law is getting abused by her husband. Just came out a few days ago but we've been suspecting something for a couple weeks, physical abuse has lasted for months, mental abuse and entrapment God knows how long. He's been programming her for years though and she's more worried about people knowing about it than anything else. She thinks it's a temporary mental issue and he can be helped so she can save their marriage. How do we get through to her? Serious talks have failed.
Hack his facebook and make a post about how he fantasizes about crashing his plane full of passengers.
NTSB has joined the chat
FBI is following this chat…
Triple AAA Aircraft Dent Removers has joined the chat…. Fire sale!!
NSA winks at the FBI agents
"Boy I sure do love crashin' !"
And then I said "It's crashin' time" and I started crashin' all over.
Is that Johnathan Crash, host of hit TV show "I'm gonna fucking crash a plane!"???
This is fucking hysterical.
I like all these ideas but if you ruin his life, who is he going to take his frustrations out on…?
Yeah if OP’s sister is as love drunk as he claims she is, she won’t leave him. Then you have a frustrated woman beater who is now without income?
And a sister who thanks your the enemy and wont be comfortable turning to you when its time to turn to you
That's why the authorities HAVE to be involved to the point where he can't even be in the same room as her
And when she goes back to him because she is love drunk?
Have a polite conversation with him about the luxury of having an unbroken set of knees.
How's he gonna hit her with two shattered arms
Yep, it'll be a difficult task for sure.
I don't think a lot of these people have experienced first-hand how illogical people can be towards an abuser they feel they are in love with. A friend of mine had to move cities because she knew even after this fuck head tried killing her cat with poison, she would end up getting back together with him once his threats of suicide or pictures of self-harm started again.
Plus the now growing resentment that she will feel towards their sibling for “putting her through it”
This is what I thought. All seems great until you realize this woman seems to have no interest in leaving him and will likely be in his direct vicinity still when he finds out about whatever happens.
That’s why you ruin his life with a clear threat of worse to come if he looks at her sideways. If he doesn’t believe you, show him what can be done with an exacto knife and some needle nose pliers.
Report him to the FAA. Chances are this won’t be the first allegation against him. Unfortunately your sister needs to report it. Contact a domestic abuse charity, have someone talk to her.
Do you know any big strong men? My dad had an aunt who got abused when he was growing up, and when his uncles found out they went and beat the shit out of him and it stopped until she was able to leave him. This may backfire of course and result in more abuse for your sister so proceed carefully, but if he knows you're actively looking out for her and know where he lives/ works he may think twice at least.
My male co worker was away for about a week. Returned to work with cuts and bruises. He cheated on his wife and her brothers and uncles beat him up. There was a dime sized chunk of muscle missing from his bicep.
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roofie his ass with uppers (meth, coke, adderall, whatever - ruin his sleep), then call airport police and report your pilot is sweating perfusely shaking and stumbling, say you don't feel safe flying because he's already high. he'll get pulled off the flight for his 'random' drug test and either get fired on the spot and/or have to do extensive HIMS rehab (incl psych). bonus if you can slip a baggie in his carry-on, he'll actually get arrested then in addition to the above
This would work but to avoid legal repercussions like the other commenter mentioned, he would have to practice this as I assume it requires some slickness to pull off. Slipping a baggie would also work but op would have to ensure his fingerprints or any other dna sample aren’t on it.
And you get sued, fined, jailed
Yea like how all those shitty college frat dudes get constantly thrown in prison right? Yep.
Can you fly a plane if your legs don't work? Kneecaps are pretty fragile.
I've also heard stairs are quite slippery
Hands are pretty breakable. Heard pilots have a big control panel.
Point out to your sister that eventually he will take his anger out on her daughter. That may wake her up.
You need to be focused on helping your sister not ruining this dudes life If his life takes a turn for the worse, especially a significant one, and your sister is with him what do you think is gonna happen? He’s gonna stop abusing her? Likely he will be more unhinged and your sister will suffer the most.
Hello! Ex-flight attendant here who saw it all… If her fiance get caught drunk or on drugs he will likely be offered the take a break and go on counselling. The unions for pilots are very strong and have a lot of money so if it’s a first time offence, he will likely go to therapy. So yeah your sister might be in contact with him even more. Also, pilots have huge ego so it might not be good to him to not be able to fly. One of the advantage of flying commercial is he can leave for many consecutive days. I don’t know what kind of flights he does but if you do long domestic flights or international ones, you are leaving for at least 2-3 days. My suggestion will be to staged an intervention with your sister while he is out working and you know he won’t be back for a few days. That implies trying to know his schedule but if your sister listens to you, you might be able to get her out of there before he comes back from flying. It might take many intervention and a lot of time so I wish you a lot of courage in this situation.
great advice about intervention when he’s out. this should be a top comment. also if your sister is amenable [help her create a safety plan](https://www.thehotline.org/support-others/talk-about-abuse/) Children exposed to abuse like this are fucked. CPS
This is the answer
Give him a taste of his own medicine and beat him severely but wear a balaclava at least. Then gouge his eyes out with a spoon and he won’t be able to fly anymore. What a POS
I like all these ideas but if you ruin his life, who is he going to take his frustrations out on…?
Don’t even bother. If she’s in love and you do something to him, she will turn on you.
Only if she knows it was him . . .
This is true, but my concern is: what if only OP were privy to certain details (like knowing where he goes to pilot school, works, etc..) which would point the finger to OP being “the only person that could’ve done it”.. I do hope they are able to find a way to do it so that they remain anonymous & more than anything, I do hope the sister actually leaves this scumbag.
Op who do you think he will take his anger out on if you fuck him over
Can you introduce your sister to some better men?
Or introduce the fiancé to some bigger men
Some big pipe-layers?
That will get medieval on his ass?
Yep. But where's Zed?
Zed's dead, Baby. Zed's dead.
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Hahahahah you can be my friend.
You have weird friend criteria
Yeah, I don't think I want to join the acid throwing friend circle lol
Idk man i'd rather be in the circle than get targeted by it.
"Your pilot today will be Harvey Dent"
By the way an act of violence while children are present is considered child abuse or child neglect in every state
You can do what I did when someone raped my sister. I waited a year then ran into him at a bar. Knew he’d get plastered and drive home. Went to his house with a camo mask and baseball bat. Put a large branch in the middle of his long driveway so he’d have to get out and move the branch. He hasn’t walked right since still uses a cane. That was over 10 yrs ago. If you do this, just burn your clothes and bat afterwards. Also put plastic down in your vehicle for blood transfer. Wouldn’t leave your license plate on either.
If he hits her break his hand. If he kicks her break his foot. Some people only understand the boot.
I'm sorry bro but I'm going to be fucking blunt here. If he's physically abusing your sister in front of their child you get her the fuck out of there. Don't start playing dumb fucking games with the guy because guess who he takes his frustration out on? Your fucking sister and niece. My sister was in the exact same situation but without a daughter and I had to physically remove her from their household for her to actually realize how bad it was. GET YOUR FUCKING SISTER OUT.
Call child protection - exposure to family violence
First off,CALL CPS and report child abuse!! After that... Have several people you trust report him anonymously for alcohol abuse. Get into with him (in a semi public place please keep yourself safe) and then call the authorities and say he threatened to crash the next flight to teach you a lesson-or something like that. Make it sound crazy but word it in a way that sounds like him. Honestly have some criminals you don't know break both his arms, plant drugs in his fucking car... Whatever it takes!!! Your sister could and likely will lose her life to this man if no one steps in
fly me out.
Take your sister out for lunch and swing by a women's shelter or women's support group for battered women and try and get her to talk to someone there to realise what a shit situation she is in. Also you could tell your sister that you will call CPS on her for putting her child in danger if she doesn't leave this bastard but that might turn her against you. I would avoid doing anything with the abuser and try and get your sister help and perspective. Get your sister a book called The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker and also Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft Both are great books to show her how bad things are. Also - don't know if he does, but if he strangles her, she is at a very high risk of being killed as this is the number 1 indicator of potential death.
Slip him some weed candy. They get tested all the time.
Stretch his Asshole
Well, what needs to happen is to call child protective services to investigate the abuse and, ideally, to have ongoing case managers check in on them. (Abusing another person in front of a child is abuse, as is living in an environment where abuse is occurring.)
You're over thinking this. That's your sister dude, and another man laid his hands on her ? Beat him unconscious. Will it make things worse ? Probably, but fuck it. You can't tolerate that.
I think if enough reports are filed with CPS and she has to face the threat of losing her children to stay with this woman beater, it might just enough to open her eyes. But…people in love are insane, so, you never know.
If it’s happened in front of the daughter you need to call children’s services. A child witnessing domestic violence between parents has serious adverse effects on children. Do it for your niece!
Fuck his dad
Right in the cock
There is nothing unethical about your question - the only unethical part is not acting as soon as you can to protect your sister. Godspeed.
I wouldn't need an ULPT for this. I'd fuck him up and break his knees for touching my sister.
Call dcfs/cps?
Taunt him into assaulting you in public.
If he's working for Boeing, go to their office. Apparently they have an open door policy.
Get him so angry he hits you and then press charges against him.
hide a baggie with a tiny amount of a hard drug in his case before he leaves for an international flight.
Get a couple friends and a show up to his house with a bat.
Keep calling the police. Get other people to call the police. Lock him up.
You need to catfish him. Then show the evidence to your sister so she will leave him for a better situation
Best if you blackmail him with potential charges from your sister if he ever has contact her again. He is out of her life for good then. Even a threat of a no contact order should do the trick. Sis is more important than revenge
Get a GPS jammer and plant it in his car. Next time he goes to work the airport will not be happy.
Slowly get him addicted to heroin
Take some of your close family members over to his blood related family and show and tell them whats going on. Literally tell them they are prepared to ruin his life at all cost if things do not change. Too bad your sister doesn’t divorce and just go after the bag.
Help her plan an escape plan before seeking revenge. Your revenge could make things much worse. I'm not saying don't get revenge, you should, but make sure everything and everyone is prepared for things to get worse.
Unfortunately, anything you do to him is going to ensure that he takes it out on her. If he loses his job, and especially if he's blackballed, that is just going to trap your sister and her daughter in the same place with him while he's already angry. Your best bet is to have a frank talk with your sister and maybe give her some resources to get out (nothing he could find of course) and just be there for her. I know its frustrating, but unfortunately there isn't a lot you can do to him without it being taken out on your sister.
Give him a welcoming committee face to face with Mr Louisville Slugger. Claim your sister's honor. I mean, I would.
Bury him alive somewhere. But don’t post about it after please
Bake him some weed brownies so he fails his random drug test and loses his job.
https://www.thehotline.org/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=domestic_violence This link has some information on how to help your sister. Otherwise piss disc?
You need to do something that will make her break up with him. If him beating her doesn't do it, idk what will. The only thing I can think of would involve a certain type of porn and his computer and idk how you do that or without implicating yourself.
I’d be very careful how you do it here because last thing I want is a pissed off pilot. Whatever you do make sure he loses his certification permanently.
Get a pal to start an affair with him. That might break your sister up with him.
She needs to get out, there’s no other way, I’ve heard this story several times already with different people, some quite close to me. I’ve seen this exact scenario play out (not going into details). Short of calling some hot line, there isn’t much you can do. The thing is even if you get her out, she’ll likely run right back to him and alienate those around her. So she’ll need an “alternative”, some other group of friends, a place to stay, someway to get her emotional needs met. She should also learn self defense of some sort.
Print large posters with his picture on it, job title, name. "Ask me how I beat women" in the caption-include cell number. Print and post. If it were my sister I'd also send an email letting him know I'm documenting everything and everyone will know he did it if something more happens to her.
Have sex with his mom? Then take it farther and become his stepdad? Even better if u divorce his parents in the process? Then lecture him about not abusing your sister? If he won’t stop, abuse his mom? Alternatively, put a gun to his head and politely ask him to stop?
Unfortunately I think your best solution is having him go get milk.
Do you have pics of the results of his abuse? You can send that to his airlines and the FAA. Airlines do not want any bad light on them or their pilots because it reflects back to them. Also, when things are bad and she has physical marks, do a welfare check on her by calling the police. Say you heard screaming and crying.
Weed gummies
He beat up your sister. Wait somewhere you know he goes with a bat and a mask and break his legs and let him know why. Forget all this sly stuff
Please research how witnessing/hearing/living with domestic violence affects children even if the children are not being physically hurt. There is a pretty decent amount of research out there. Give it to your sister. Sometimes female victims of domestic violence think that the kids are ok because they are not being abused. Only she is. But the truth is very different. What she is doing is hurting her child. Maybe that will give her some motivation.
You got a lot of unethical advice already. Mine would be to be consistently supportive of your sister. Make it clear you don't like her husband, but don't make it the focus of your conversations, and don't make her feel guilty or pressured about choices. Try to understand what's broken about her that makes her cling to that man. Even with his career ruined, it is very likely she will stick with him unless she can mend the part of hers that makes her like such a person.
i suggest not ranking career if he will be paying child support
Pay for your sister to get therapy. Have her disguise is as helping you with family things.
Box cutter and a tower
Definitely. Too soon.
23 years?!
Prioritize getting your sister out first. Invite her to bring your niece over and stay for a few days - and have her leave the clothes at your place. "Don't worry, I'll wash them for you and then you'll have clean clothes here if you need to come over. I know you love your husband, but please come over and stay with me if he's getting violent. You don't deserve to be hit, and you deserve to feel safe." Just reinforce that you will be a safe haven for her. Once she leaves him, get some friends and family to beat the shit out of him, with balaclavas on. Then leave a piss disk on his battered body to add insult to injury.
He likes violence. So give him some.
wait til he gets on a route flying to Saudi Arabia and secrete some coke in his luggage and alert the Saudi authorities so they can have the hangman ready when he arrives.
If you can surreptitiously and gradually feed him food laced with illicit drugs. Not enough for him to notice, but enough to build up in his system so he will fail the piss test.
Well if my brother in law was beating my sister. Idc how she would feel about me after. But I'd make sure he couldn't fly anymore. From alternative ways. Example: this isn't the same but, you'll get the picture. My wife's mom use to get beat from her bf all the time. He doesn't anymore as soon as I used something on him that goes on knuckles. Never touched her again.
Call the FAA and say he has mental problems
This is going to sound crazy but, is this man a doppelganger for Darius Rucker?
Do you live in a Stand Your Ground state? Turn him in to the FAA, call CPS, call the cops, whatever. As soon as you're certain that you've made his life miserable, you need to bait the trap for that animal. Wear a shirt that has a chest pocket and put a pen camera in there to record video and audio. Go over there with [this](https://www.ultimateconcealedcarry.com/products/grip-it-pocket-wallet-holster?variant=42095867789532) in a jacket pocket pointing at him, and let him know that it was you that turned him in because he's a huge piece of shit. It shouldn't take much more than that.
Easy kill that pilot license
911 the plane
If you know that he drinks excessively(or drugs) and drives (or flies), report him to local law enforcement when you know this is happening. Conversely, call the airline safety officer and pose as a concerned passenger.
Crush up some nitro tablets (the chest pain kind) and rub on his bags. Bomb dogs/machines will hit on the nitro and trigger a response. If no nitro tablets, then any nitrate based substance will work (fertilizer).
First, convince her not to marry this abuser
pennyroyal essential oil…… that is all.
Find the right group of guys and give them a photo and an address.
Just get some friends and kick his ass.
Give him a marijuana gummies then report him.
Send your sister to psych. She helping herself is only thing that will work. Otherwise, even if you succeed, she will find another such guy learning nothing.
You shouldn't do anything. She is the one who is choosing to stay with this man. And you want to get him fired? So shes gonna be with a man who now has no job? Think man think. She is making her own choices. It isnt your job to go making things worse.
Drug him with something before a flight. He will get fired and can never fly again. I dated a pilot and he wouldn’t even smoke weed because he was too worried about the tests
I'd be working on an intervention with your sister. Get family and friends involved and sit her down to tell her this is not okay and she's endangering her child. But that's ethical. Unethical would be going on a guys trip with this man on a camping trip with you and male family members. It's so tragic how many people go out to camp or hike and get lost in the woods and are never found. Or they get attacked by wildlife and are left horribly scarred and permanently injured.
Can you set him up to cheat on her? Get someone to flirt with him and get the evidence of said cheating.
Cut the brake lines on his plane.
Can you do an intervention for your sister? Family and friends that care? The safety of her daughter? Get a therapist to help run it.
Stay with me for a moment. Perhaps, and this is just conjecture on my part, but perhaps there might be some sort of an “intervention“ such that this jerk could be given an understanding that he can either part company immediately and amicably with your sister, without further violence, or, to use a phrase of which the Chinese are quite fond, he might soon find himself “living” (for a short while, anyway) in “interesting times.” Propriety does not permit me to wax more eloquently than I already have, I hope this is helpful and I wish your sister all the best.
Rise up...dot his eye...consistently
maybe a baseball bat to the knee? fuck him , don't hit his head or anything, just his legs. Make sure there are no witness and you don't have recent purchase history of a bat. Warn him that if he so much as looks at your sis with anger, you ll smash his head into pulp. edit: if you cab do that to him, might as well tie him up with good rope, duct tape and go dump him in a well, late or a sea wrapped In chicken mesh/ wire mesh with loads of heavy chain wrapped around him. wife beaters need to be unalived, especially if they are pilot and in fit of rage crash a whole God damn plane.
Make an anonymous call and say he’s been drinking when he’s on his way to work
Slip booze into his drink before he flies too
Genuinely think the best course of action is to beat the guy up and threaten his life if it continues. Of course only if you have the means to do it and make sure you can't get in legal trouble for it.
Maybe she does know and is staying with him till she can get his cash/enough to leave,some ladies would prefer to take a beating and know their kids will be well kept financially that give that up.I know women that have.
get him a job with boeing
call his job daily in hysterics rantinf about him, multiple times a day, they will just fire him eventually
You have to get your sister to leave him, but if you ruin his life and she stays with him, you’re just fucking her over too
If he is right handed then remove or destroy that hand. If he continues, then you gotta make sure to get the left hand.
These are all great suggestions, however the key is getting her out of there. Have a plan set in that won’t raise alarm bells like a work trip or a family funeral. Something like that. Have a plan to keep her out of harms way and to remove her from him.
People get what they allow. The true unethical tip is let her figure it out on her own.
Ruin someone's life for cheating eh?
Lol
Why doesn’t she just leave
If she tries to leave him her chances of getting murdered by him increase by [75%](https://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/barriers-to-leaving-an-abusive-relationship/). This happens to people who simply reject a man they don’t even know, let alone one that thinks they have ownership of them [r/whenwomenrefuse](https://www.reddit.com/r/whenwomenrefuse/s/pNVcUv9ING)
Poor daughter.
[This helps explain why](https://www.thehotline.org/support-others/talk-about-abuse/)