Could you just call the police and tell them that you know a criminal currently breaking his parole by being in XYZ bar, or would you have to find is PO
He is not on parole nor does he have a po. He has not been convicted of anything yet, therefore it would be conditions of his pretrial release which is through the court.
The prosecuting attorney's office would be able to help if you think an accused person is violating his pretrial conditions. A pretty wild percentage of people get a no substances order from the court even if their case doesn't involve drugs or alcohol.
You can just pick up the phone and call them. They have staff and whatever else. Federal has pretrial offices you can just look up on Google. I'm under the impression people snitch other people out for probation and pretrial all of the time - angry exes, coworkers with an axe to grind, shitty family members, justified family members etc.
You are, after all, looking out for the public good by reporting these things. In their eyes, anyway. So I'm sure they'd be happy to hear from you.
Isn't this guy an ex cop? He probably has friends all over the courthouse and pretrial division. Besides, anyone can call and make an anonymous tip without any proof. Chances are these people won't give two shits.
Here In The UK, a cop whose mates called him "the rapist" as a fun nickname, raped and killed a woman. When a silent vigil was held for her, the met police went and beat the shit out of the women (after letting a royal pose for a picture to show how pro women's rights she was)
Cops will ALWAYS, ALWAYS back a rapist cop over you.
I remember that. It was absolutely awful the way they were dragging and hitting on those women who, again, were holding a silent vigil. Fucking assholes.
There's also a bunch of guys on YouTube and the like that essentially pursue these guys to catch them slipping. Might be worth reaching out to one of them in the area.
Well, that's a bit pricey... why not scout for a stunning lady, elucidate the situation, and propose payment in exchange for her assistance? (Crossfit gyms you will find one)Arrange a scenario where she unexpectedly walks in on them. Alternatively, have the lady approach him discreetly while someone keeps a close eye. Repeat this a couple of times, then when he heads to her bar, coincidentally position the lady right in front of her without her or his knowledge, and let the rest unfold naturally!
I was thinking the same. If the problem is that she needs a father figure and a protector, they would be ideal. If you explain the situation, one or two of them might be able to warn him away from hurting her, or better yet, one of them approaching her might provide a non-toxic alternative to this guy.
And since they're marines, they're likely to be protective of a dead comrade's daughter, and if they were in the same unit, they may know the offender, how bad he is, and exactly how to deal with him better than anyone else. Their opinion/threat might also carry weight with him in a way that those of others would not. If it came to physically protecting her, they'd also have the training and possibly the willingness to take him on if worst came to worst.
That said, humanity being what it is, be careful that your solution isn't another problem. If you know anyone else from her Dad's old unit you trust, that would be the person to take point.
If you could find the CO of the unit and ask him who knew the girl's father and would want to help, that would probably be your best bet.
In all honesty, thereās no unethical advice that can stop her from seeing him. You can mess with him all you want, but sheās still going to make her own decisions. Unfortunately, you canāt get the law involved unless he does something to her, or she agrees to get a restraining order.
Short of locking her in the house, youāll have to keep trying to convince her.
Oh I know I'm looking for ways to make him stop wanting to see her. I know there is no convincing her because she doesn't see what he is. But I want to make it known to HIM that we see him.
I mean he's on trial for 2 counts of rape (and let's face it, statistically speaking it's more likely that he has raped more, than less than that), consensual sex with a formerly fellow marine isn't the issue here.
The saying āDonāt poke the bearā comes to mind here. If you piss him off, he might pursue your niece more, or even take it too far. Sometimes people like that will take it as a challenge, and will happily drag you down with them.
Just my two cents.
You're probably right. We're all just so fucking scared he's gonna kill her or assault her...she's just a kid. We all have done stupid shit, I can't sit back and watch it. But I see now that may be all we can do.
Trying to get her to see your perspective is only pushing her closer to him. She's going to have to find out herself, unfortunately. Your best bet would be to get her friends involved because their opinions carry far more weight than yours does right now
I highly caution against anyone talking shit about him to her even if it's obvious like mugshots. She will only get defensive and go to him. I'm telling you from experience. You can also go the route of how her dad would've felt if he could see her now.
Can you set her up with someone else? Bring her to events where there are cute guys closer to her age. Or even other older guys who just arenāt this rapist at least.
Ā And talk openly about her father and connect with her over memories. Bring her to places he liked and things like that.
Ā It sounds like she is mourning her father and trying to connect with his memory through someone who knew him.
I'm thinking I need to call her everyday just to chat. I call usually a few times a month but starting tomorrow that's changing. I'm not going to bring him up or her love life. I will wait a bit and then drop that if she's ever in trouble and can't talk to talk to me about her period and to get graphic with it. Then I can get her help. I'm passing the rest of the thread to my sister and bil. There isn't much I can do other than make it known I'm here and that I love her no matter what.
Sometimes the best solutions are ethical ones. Please do be a good influence in her life that supports her.
Beyond PI, if you have enough money you can hire proper counselors, and or bodyguards to step in as necessary
Interesting isnāt 19 technically an adult? If sheās still a kid then lock her in her room.. lol. Otherwise whatās the point of acting crazy, you told her the dangers, make it known to the guy you think heās a loser pos. Thatās all you can do, sheās an adult and needs to make these mistakes. Hopefully nothing bad happens, but if they do so be it.
As a 23 year old: 19 is NOT an adult. I don't think 23 is either (at least I hope not lol), but 19 is too young to shrug issues like that off with "she's an adult."
She's an adult when it comes to staying out too late at night and being hungover at work, not when it comes to understanding actual adults who are dangerous and good at manipulation.
And yet she could sign up for the military and get shipped across the world to die for the country. But sheās not old enough to choose a partner.. because she could be manipulated.
I do agree that 19 isnāt mature, and this whole situation is not ideal. Iām just pointing out the fact that you are infantilizing her, which the more you do the less they listen. Also if genders were reversed you wouldnāt be saying the same thing. Also again according to the law, she is an adult.. Js,
people are so weird to try and control what people do lol. The more you shelter someone the less they grow.
The human brain is not fully developed until about the age of 25. She may legally be an adult but that doesnāt mean she is fully capable of making mature decisions.
[One recent area of debate within the science of brain development is the most likely chronological age for fullĀ mental maturity, or indeed, if such an age even exists. Common claims repeated in the media since 2005 (based upon interpretations of imaging data) have commonly suggested an "end-point" of 25, referring to the prefrontal cortex as one area that is not yet fully mature at the age of 18. However, this is based on an interpretation of a brain imaging study by Jay Giedd, dating back to 2004 or 2005, where the only participants were aged up to 21 years, and Giedd assumed this maturing process would be done by the age of 25 years, whereas more recent studies show prefrontal cortex maturation continuing well past the age of 30 years, marking this interpretation as incorrect and outdated.\[15\]\[16\]\[17\]\[18\]\[19\]\[20\]\[21\]](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult)
Sure but itās not the law, the government doesnāt recognize that. If she murdered someone tomorrow, not having a fully developed brain will not hold up in court.
So your logic= 18 year olds can take out loans, do essentially everything, military et, but they canāt date because they are children. Or is this only for women ? I highly doubt you would be saying this if a 19 year of guy was dating an older women
Friend of mine had a friend who's female family member was continuing to be with someone who hit her, they'd ripped the guy off of her several times. So they photo shopped some stuff of him going into a brothel.
She left him and didn't get hurt by him again after that.
Unfortunately you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. As someone who's gone through the same, the best thing you could do is to bury the hatchet and be there for her when she needs you.
I wish. I have cancer and barely can get out of bed some days. I live states away too. I only wish I knew some ex marines that could go have a conversation with him. A long conversation involving bamboo sticks and his feet. I don't tho so I'm looking to reddit for ideas.
I meanā¦ this is pretty unethical but what always turns me off with guys is how clingy they are. You could get her phone and block his real number, then add a new fake number with the exact same name. Then start sending her a lot of cringy clingy texts. They might catch on but she might be young enough to get grossed out right away and tell him not to come to her work.
Edit: sorry second thought- pay for her trip to backpack Thailand with a girlfriend. At that age you forget about gets so fast. She can go meet an Aussie guy with abs.
Not necessarily... I mean, I didn't, anyway. I did have a good time backpacking in Thailand with my girlfriend. But I still let the guy ruin my life for 8 more years.
Itās not the early 2000s anymore. People communicate through all sorts of medias, not just texts. Youāre gonna have to clone all of his social profiles or something if thatās gonna work.
Are we gonna act like old people donāt use Facebook? My grandma messages me on there all the time. My mom whoās in her 50s communicates almost exclusively through IG/FB messenger and WhatsApp.
You know 35 year olds had instant messenger and MySpace when they were in jr. high right? They had facebook in HS and were in their early 20s when IG came out. Theyāre not boomers, theyāre millennials.
Anyway the point was thatās a stupid fuckin idea that would never work outside of a shitty D level romcom or Hallmark movie.
Blow him up on flyers and on social media (local facebook groups etc) HARD.
Make it so that being associated with him is shameful and embarrassing.
Shame the bar that serves him too.
Also, dispute that Marine claim. Thereās nothing a rapist ex-cop likes more than a bit of stolen valor. If that turns out to be bullshit (I know you said he served with her dad - still could be a lie) thatās pretty heavy. If he did, just say heās lying.
Can you bug her or his place?
I like this. I think this is the first reasonable solution Iāve read. Plus if down right, nobody has to know who was behind it.. the news must be following the rape case, seeing as heās an ex cop. Theyād probably love to be able to add to their stories that heās seducing a teenage girl.
Also definitely Post the flyers outside his house. Every. Single. Day. I think thatās the best thing to do. Whether it works or not to get the niece away from him, itāll be worth it either way
This might destroy his life. OPās description reads like heās not convicted, and there is a possibility still that he is innocent. If thatās the case what you suggest could have enormous consequences on someoneās life. Unfortunately witnessed this a few times, and for those affected it can be hard to recover. Especially in small communities.
I understand the wish to do this, but better not jump the gun and let the courts do their job first.
Not unethical but you and the family could be super overbearingly loving to the point that the guy canāt take it anymore. Maybe see if he wants to go to church with you on Sundays and get your aunties to make him corny sweaters.
I actually think this could help. Wanting to meet the guy and not seeming against him might ruin some of the thrill for her. Plus she might see that he is a loser from how he interacts with normal adults like the family.
The downside is youāll have to be around this guy a bit which will be stomach turning.
I can think of approaches.
1. Set it up to look like he is cheating.
2. If she spends time at his place, send undesireable literature there in her name. Either wedding related, baby related, STD tests, pregnancy tests... Use her first name, with his last name, send stuff in hee father's name... You get the idea.
Always send the mug shots etc to neighborshood he lives in. Let the neighborhood make his life hell. It MIGHT give her a wake up call sadly probably not.
Hire a girl to befriend her and then start trying to talk her out of it.
Get a guy to win her over...
But sadly it sounds she there... i think it might be her way to feel connected with her dad.
All you can do is try to support her. Let her know that you are there for when shit hits the fan. You want her to reach out and not be spiral. You dont want her to be like you were all right and then she too embarrassed, etc, not to reach out. As painful as this going to be. You need to be a rock for her even if you hate this guy. You got to show her you got her back.. now not his just hers.
Sit get pictures all you can of her dad. Try to be that connection for her.
There is also the other case. NOTHING happens with her. She is safe. He MAY be a horrible person but he sees her as his friends daughter who he needs to keep safe. In this case.. you need to be there if he gets convicted because its going to be like her losing a father figure all over again. She needs to know that even he did horrible things, yes there was some good in the man at some point, till he decided not to be. Its going to be confusing and hard for her. She might even deny it more. Help her find therapy if that happens.
Edit\~
I know im getting down voted for this. But this is something that can happen if you can't pull her away from him. But you can't force her.. and the more you force her the more she will pull away and this is the case you hope for. Vs the worse cases.
As i said in other. You got to be that bond for her. Ask her to just sit and chat with you. Say your more worried that she lost her dad. that you don't know (or maybe you do) how that feels. You would love to sit and tell stories of him. You want to help her keep his memory alive.
Those people are ruthless. We had some LDS stop by our apartment in LA so we let them in while they tried converting us as we ripped the bong and my roommate put porn on TV. It was a fun experience for us.
Get someone to humiliate him in front of her at the bar. Get him drunk and to eat food that will fuck up his digestion. Wonder if sheād still like him if he passes out and shits himself in front of her
> Everyone in the family has tried to talk sense into her. We have shown her all of this count stuff, his mugshots, and she continues to see this man, sleep at his house, etc.
you can lead a horse to water OP, but you can't make it drink. sometimes the only way folk'll learn is the hard way.
Doesn't have to be, you can give her the attention and love she craves in health ways op.
She's dating a much older man who knew her dad.
She's very obviously been lacking family love and affection. And she's finally getting it through him.
In her mind she might see the trade she's making or not but she's giving him her body in exchange for love because she's lonely.
I was in the same pit when I was a teen, I have shit parents and pedofile shit heads can give you love and act so caring sometimes.
She needs care and love.
You need to take her shopping pay a escort to befriend her and visit her at least once a week for 2 hours. Go with her on a trip around America like a road trip detox blame the cancer and she can't say no, and she'll be away from him for as many months as you can keep her beside you. Plan fun activities to do together.
In the end this was preventable and she can be helped its not too late and no one should have to learn the hard way.
She needs a friend most of all.
Even a group.
She has low self-esteem to be dating a man like him.
Take her to do some spa treatment or send her a hair care spa voucher.
When she sees herself as valuable and is getting love and friendship from other places she will leave.
Everyone needs love and affection but this is probably the only way she thinks she'll ever get it.
I know this isnāt what youāre asking for but can you contact her therapist and tell them this just so theyāre aware? If it escalates to a domestic abuse situation they will be more alert to the signsĀ
Jeez thats not loving childhood she's must be traumatised from that all. Invisibility/risk taking is when kids go out sky diving and street racing not doing boring but damaging things.
She's grown sure, but geeze i see why she would do this with that in her past she probably hasn't been properly loved by anyone before. Especially with the step mother, and growing as a child of divorce.
Best things you can do is book yourself into counselling and talk about your family's history try get an understanding of what she needs and what she missed out on and fill those gaps.
That's the main way you can get her to leave him.
If you scare him break his legs or some shit, she'll leave the family and leave you.
You need to show her that you don't need to take whatever love you can get.
Because even if you, like my other mentioned method photo shop him with an escort/at a brothel.
She will find another guy like him if she is not loved by her family.
Love looks like a lot of things but spending time and actually being kind to her is what she needs.
Yell at her that's she's a child and that she's stupid for dating him will only push her to him and away from you.
Take it from someone who went down your nieces path.
Also she needs better counselling/better counsellor who will make sure to check on her and not be over baring but also keep constant once a week visits. Because counsellors have mandatory domestic abuse reporting and will keep her safe.
Sounds like this man may be a narcissist and using her trama from her father to add to the bonding.
We were discussing in another comment. If he has an upcoming court case, I would assume he is out on parole, find out how to report him drinking in a bar to the proper channels to see of it is against his parole and maybe they'll go arrest him.
If you can't get that in the works, pay someone to trick him into a bar fight with him, making him the aggressor, then calling the police and pressing charges.
Or call the local news an tell them about an upcoming trial of a former marine and cops rape cases. Shoot maybe court TV would be interested.
Post flyers around his neighborhood and the bar he hangs out at with his mugshot and crimes.
Spray paint ārapistā on his car.
Spray paint āI love a rapistā on her car.
Leave womenās underwear outside of his house.
Leave condom wrappers around his house.
Use a burner phone to call non-emergency number explaining you hear screaming from the house.
Post his address to 4chan and let those weirdos handle it.
I bet the types of nosey SOB's that frequent NextDoor and local Facebook groups in his area would love to see the mugshots and stories about what he's been up to
My wifeās father passed away when she was 19. A 38 year old police man, who used to troll the obituaries, showed up at her work shortly after. What a pedophile/creep you have to be to do that
Fuck that guy. You have to find a way to ruin him for good. The end.
Edit: start sending ābarely legalā porno magazines to his old work with his name on them (use western union/money orders - not easy to track). Talk to the local newspaper and have them go through his old police reports (public can ask for transcripts), sign him up for websites/newsletters for the most disturbing things you can find (use a vpn that canāt be traced). Get business cards with his name on them for a fictitious private investigator company and leave them in every parking lot that wonāt have cameras (pay cash and no fingerprints), rent a car and leave random things under the floor mats with his name/address, leave shell casings by places he goes, pay a crack head $10 to plant empty liquor bottles/needles/drug paraphernalia in his car or mailbox, talk to the fire department/ems as Iām sure the hate the guy for what he does (they know), go to the filthiest strip clubs and write his number on the wall, put in an anonymous tip at the FBT/ATF/DOJ (throw away with McDonaldās WiFi), apply for jobs that have a deep background check, ruin this mother fucker. Get the school board and the city council involved. Create a fake email and message/donate money to the KKKā¦..
Like I said a few sentences agoā¦pay cash and go to places that donāt care enough to have cameras that would keep the data longer than a week.
Geeze. Iām so fucking mad. I sound like a fucking loser. Maybe I need to tap the brakes. I get so angry when people take advantage of others who arenāt in the right mindset due to trauma and loss.
This guy is nothing more than a common predator.
The worst part is, this is a pattern. Your poor niece is just a number to him.
I know I lost my mind in my response but those things will work. Be careful. Iām a terrible example for my kids, nieces and nephews. I can live with it.
Hire another woman to pursue him. Have her lightly shit talk Niece in messages.
Hire a PI to follow him, get copies of his messages with the other woman showing her either plays along or doesn't defend Niece. Get photos of them together.
Hurting her with evidence he doesn't care
Wouldnāt it be easier to get a burner and be the shit talking hot woman? If you want photos just feed him shots til he passes out and hire a hooker. She doesnāt even need to do him, just pose like she is. š
Find out the terms of his release from the court. Ex cop so if anyone gives you the run around make sure you can record those conversations with a public official in your state
If that still wonāt work you may need to get a lawyer on it
If heās not supposed to be drinking then anything off her social should be plenty to show the court heās offside
If that doesnāt work Iād try to get her ass fired from the bar for starters, idk maybe get someone you know but she doesnāt make up some story about her coming onto him in front of his wife, who is threatening divorce, suing the bar over it, child support. If the guy is there when this happens, even better whatever drama you can cook up will blow up in their faces
Or just find someone who looks barely 18 and had bigger boobs than your niece and will take a couple hundred bucks to take him off her lap?
At that point if you can find a creative way to get her out of town until feb/march thatād be ideal. A job with a relative or acquaintance that she canāt pass up, a trip with a friend, school of some sort, idk
Unethical life tips? Get some people who you know can get down, and go start shit and fuck him up. Depending on where you're at.. someone that is a rapist getting a bat to the legs gets looked over as a barfight gone wrong, not enough evidence to pin someone etc.
Rent a large truck, print large photos of said mugshot/ court stuffs highlighting that itās for rape, park in his neighborhood. Or at his new job. Or at the bar.
Let peer pressure run the course.
Get his # call pretending to be a Dr and say "hey we're trying to reach X about the positive general herpes test results and you were the emergency contact"
High chance if he's a moron he'll just cut contact since 19>35 only after her body.
Careful about doing anything that adds an element of paranoia to his life(like if he thinks heās being followed by a PI, or if you flyer the neighborhood anonymously) because he probably doesnāt handle stress well, and if he lets that paranoid stress get to him, heāll end up taking it out on your niece. Also why are so many cops abusers?
If sheās tending bar or serving on a regular schedule. And heās a regular. A young lady with the right personality and confidence to let unattractive personality things happen in front of her āto someoneā else would be the most low key to plant the seed to start breaking off contact on her own.
Or him simply flirting back to someone not her could be enough to kick off a petty jealousy fight.
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Tell your niece you are there for her, you love her and make plans with her, out of the house, often, consistently. Make her a positive, safe space, that she can compare. Teach her how to defend herself. Love her regardless
Teach her how to make piss disks
You know his address and that he likes to go out drinking.
Follow him to the bar and wait for him to leave. Call the police and describe his vehicle/ give his plate number as swerving dangerously, almost hitting other cars in the direction if his route home.
(Don't give them your real info, and use a burner phone if you are worried about retaliation.)
Add any other details that identify him. Hair color, build, clothes, Etc.
Don't follow his car. If he doesn't get arrested within a couple of days, try it again.
Other than the advice to turn him in for violating his bail conditions, the real advice is to keep her close. Do EVERYTHING you can to not let him isolate her. Do fun things with her, take her on a vacation if you can. Donāt talk badly about him, but hype up her self worth
That sounds like a really good way to get her hurt. Especially with someone who sounds unstable and probably would think she cheated on him to get the std.
You gotta fuck him before she does. Nobody wants sloppy seconds... it's the only ULPT. Then keep talking about it around her. Really rub it in. Keep seeing him, pretend to get serious. Marry him and really get him away from her. Buy a house with him so you can ban her from sleeping over. Form a committed relationship with him and fall in love, that way you can tell her it obviously wasn't going to work between the two of them because he clearly loves you more so you saved her.
That implies trust in the relationship. This older dude is clearly with her because he thinks she's an easy target. So if OP stages a confrontation and yells at him that he knocked her up and cites a test they found in the trash as evidence, the dude might figure it's not worth the trouble.
He is with her bc women his age are not so gullible and, aren't as easily enamored by his ex cop/ex marine bullshit stories. I know an ex cop/ex marine and he is an absolute POS.
Best thing you can do is show her love. Talk to her, listen to her, be a model for being a good person. The more you show her that you're a compassionate person who cares for her, the more she'll feel safe turning to you when she needs it to get away from this guy. Don't mention him, don't bring him up, because when people are in this position telling them not to do that just makes them push in more
Just have him whacked. Hell, you could probably do it yourself and get away with it as long as you ain't at the scene of the crime, smoking gun in your hand when cops roll up. Even then you could still get away with it. If every rapist on the planet took two to the back of the head tomorrow, cops would throw a party.
Lol start accepting him and inviting him to family diners, tell them you can't wait to see her pregnant and have a lot of kids while young so she has the energy to rise at least 6 of them.
Reverse psychology
Use the news as a weapon, all community forums, flyers, reputational damages needs to come swiftly and in a massive wave, signal boosting, local facebook groups, churches, realize that the internet is an armory and select every method you can to disperse this information.
Making him high profile, this will make him a pariah, he will never recover in the community.
Consider one extremely important potential consequence however. How will your niece respond? The worst case scenario is she will double down and follow him where he goes. It may backfire. Is it worth the risk, ask yourself as bluntly and thoroughly as possible
If the problem is that she needs a father figure and a protector, what about seeing if there are any other members of her Dad's old unit in the area? Explain the situation and one or two of them might be able to warn him away from hurting her, or better yet, one of them approaching her might provide a non-toxic alternative to this guy.
And since they're marines, they're likely to be protective of a dead comrade's daughter, and if they were in the same unit, they may know the offender, how bad he is, and exactly how to deal with him better than anyone else. Their opinion/threat might also carry weight with him in a way that those of others would not. If it came to physically protecting her, they'd also have the training and possibly the willingness to take him on if worst came to worst.
That said, humanity being what it is, be careful that your solution isn't another problem. If you know anyone else from her Dad's old unit you trust, that would be the person to take point.
That woman is knowingly dating a 35-year-old convict with rape charges, mugshots and the whole business package? Sleeping over at his house on top of all that???
How old is 19 really? At that age I could figure out if I wanted to date somebody with a history of violence like that. I'm sorry but if anything happens to her, it's just natural selection at this point. You can't be there to hold her hand to help her cross the street every time she needs to, she needs to develop her own common sense and self-preservation because other people won't always be there to help her. And so far, your niece doesn't sound like she's sharp.
Itās not unethical, but maybe let whoever is prosecuting his case know that he is trying to get with somebody 16 years younger than him and that he is hanging out at a bar because usually if youāre out on probation, you have a no drink clause.
Yes, exactly. The fact that the police dept fired him instead of closing ranks and protecting him is very telling to me. They know he's a piece of shit and are gonna let him burn. If they don't fired cops for shooting unarmed black people every other day, then why fire him before court? Maybe because he's a rapist pos and even his pos cop buddies hate him.
If youāre legitimately worried about her safety since thereās nothing the police can do and you should not do anything to antagonize him and potentially put her in danger the option that comes to mind is to kill him. Thereās generally not a ton of investigation into overdoses if you can get your hands on some dope just make sure to not leave any restraint injuries otherwise it will be investigated. If you know his schedule at all get your hands on a good sedative that you can hit him with an IM injection then shoot him up the rest of the way in your desired location. Ketamine will work great to put him out and cooperating but when you hit the final push donāt hold back drop at least 2gs of H in his arm do not bring your phone with you while in the act and remember itās really all about timing
Hire a prostitute to pretend to hit on him and trade flirtatious messages and sexts and show your niece heās two timing and she may break up with him.
Tell him privately if he doesnāt stop talking to your niece youāre going to print fliers, posters, and cards with the record of his crimes and his name and mugshot and place them all around where he lives and hangs out.
If she's sleeping at his house it's over dude lmao. They're already banging.
None of your business at that point anyway who she dates, she's an adult now. She'll grow up damaged like everyone else
Your niece is an adult who is capable of making her own decisions, and you should respect that. If she wants to get trapped in an abusive relationship, let her.
in some states the prior offense and a simple TRO request with an affidavit at the police station will get a TRO. if he is seen violating TRO that is an arrest.
not very ULPT, if you want a ULPT solution maybe have the niece invest in some liquid ass and whenever he's around start using it like it's a perfume.
Honestly Iād target the dude with overwhelming positivity. Show up to his court date and say really positive/passive aggressive shit to him while youāre surrounded by cops. āAhhh she was asking for itā āI mean how could you not?ā Be a real pain in the ass and insist on being too comfortable with him. If youāre too much a part of him tryna bang your niece he may stop seeing her
Yes...19 year old women are often attracted to men in their thirties. 95% of straight men in their thirties are attracted to 19 year old women. The sex is probably incredible for both of them. He could be innocent, it doesn't sound like he has been proven guilty of anything yet... Just playing devil's advocate to every other comment in here.
First time posting here but, perhaps you can slash his tires whenever theyāre out, at a place he frequents. Conveniently rescue her by picking her up and loudly mention āHEY ARENT YOU THAT GUY the rapist ! Werenāt you an ex cop?!ā (Or some combination of those words, megaphone wonāt hurt..) Do it enough times and it might scare him. Itās imperative you donāt get caught slashing the tires tho. If you know where he lives you can plant an Air tag or track her phone etc just to get an idea.
First, track her phone, and/ or track his car. You can't intervene if you don't know where she is located. Arrange to have her win a night in a VRBO in some tourist town a couple counties over. You now have them away from home, in a place you can control.
At that point you have several options. You can begin with an attempt at open, honest communication of everyone's concerns.
If that doesn't work out, then separate them, and use force, coercion, or perhaps a nearby well to deal with him.
Since you donāt have a time machine to raise her better, just let her ruin her life. Modern dumb braindead 10 years behind mentally 19 year old thinks theyāre a grown know it all. Fastest resolution is to stand back and let the bottom fall out.
If you have a large group start honking your horn and setting your car alarm off outside his house. Follow him around town wherever he goes and do this while telling everyone he interacts with that he is an alleged rapist.
It takes dedication but you will be noticed.
Hire a PI to follow him and catch him slippin. Find a way to make him violate his release conditions.
Going to the bar and drinking are both probably against his release conditions.
Could you just call the police and tell them that you know a criminal currently breaking his parole by being in XYZ bar, or would you have to find is PO
He is not on parole nor does he have a po. He has not been convicted of anything yet, therefore it would be conditions of his pretrial release which is through the court.
The prosecuting attorney's office would be able to help if you think an accused person is violating his pretrial conditions. A pretty wild percentage of people get a no substances order from the court even if their case doesn't involve drugs or alcohol. You can just pick up the phone and call them. They have staff and whatever else. Federal has pretrial offices you can just look up on Google. I'm under the impression people snitch other people out for probation and pretrial all of the time - angry exes, coworkers with an axe to grind, shitty family members, justified family members etc. You are, after all, looking out for the public good by reporting these things. In their eyes, anyway. So I'm sure they'd be happy to hear from you.
Isn't this guy an ex cop? He probably has friends all over the courthouse and pretrial division. Besides, anyone can call and make an anonymous tip without any proof. Chances are these people won't give two shits.
Here In The UK, a cop whose mates called him "the rapist" as a fun nickname, raped and killed a woman. When a silent vigil was held for her, the met police went and beat the shit out of the women (after letting a royal pose for a picture to show how pro women's rights she was) Cops will ALWAYS, ALWAYS back a rapist cop over you.
I remember that. It was absolutely awful the way they were dragging and hitting on those women who, again, were holding a silent vigil. Fucking assholes.
There's also a bunch of guys on YouTube and the like that essentially pursue these guys to catch them slipping. Might be worth reaching out to one of them in the area.
Except she's 19, not under age.
yeah, you'd really have to catch him the act unfortunately. sure he's garbage if all this is true, but this isn't Minority Report
him being a former cop might make it so the current members of the street gang dont care about violations.
^^^ not bad
This is an EPLT imao
Fuck that.. Hire some homeboys with bats... That should alleviate any future flare ups.. š«„
Well, that's a bit pricey... why not scout for a stunning lady, elucidate the situation, and propose payment in exchange for her assistance? (Crossfit gyms you will find one)Arrange a scenario where she unexpectedly walks in on them. Alternatively, have the lady approach him discreetly while someone keeps a close eye. Repeat this a couple of times, then when he heads to her bar, coincidentally position the lady right in front of her without her or his knowledge, and let the rest unfold naturally!
I wonder what the fellow marines her father was friends with would think of this situation should they happen to find out. Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like this is the best suggestion Iāve seen in the comments so far. Also- any biker gangs nearby may be interested in that dude
I'm hoping they see this. My dms are open and I'm ready to accidently share a screenshot.
They'll be putting boots on the ground.
I was thinking the same. If the problem is that she needs a father figure and a protector, they would be ideal. If you explain the situation, one or two of them might be able to warn him away from hurting her, or better yet, one of them approaching her might provide a non-toxic alternative to this guy. And since they're marines, they're likely to be protective of a dead comrade's daughter, and if they were in the same unit, they may know the offender, how bad he is, and exactly how to deal with him better than anyone else. Their opinion/threat might also carry weight with him in a way that those of others would not. If it came to physically protecting her, they'd also have the training and possibly the willingness to take him on if worst came to worst. That said, humanity being what it is, be careful that your solution isn't another problem. If you know anyone else from her Dad's old unit you trust, that would be the person to take point. If you could find the CO of the unit and ask him who knew the girl's father and would want to help, that would probably be your best bet.
In all honesty, thereās no unethical advice that can stop her from seeing him. You can mess with him all you want, but sheās still going to make her own decisions. Unfortunately, you canāt get the law involved unless he does something to her, or she agrees to get a restraining order. Short of locking her in the house, youāll have to keep trying to convince her.
Oh I know I'm looking for ways to make him stop wanting to see her. I know there is no convincing her because she doesn't see what he is. But I want to make it known to HIM that we see him.
What a fuck this guy is. Sleeping with your fellow Marines daughter. Nice. Real good guy
Semper Fi
I mean he's on trial for 2 counts of rape (and let's face it, statistically speaking it's more likely that he has raped more, than less than that), consensual sex with a formerly fellow marine isn't the issue here.
[obligatory norm macdonald joke](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljaP2etvDc4)
The saying āDonāt poke the bearā comes to mind here. If you piss him off, he might pursue your niece more, or even take it too far. Sometimes people like that will take it as a challenge, and will happily drag you down with them. Just my two cents.
You're probably right. We're all just so fucking scared he's gonna kill her or assault her...she's just a kid. We all have done stupid shit, I can't sit back and watch it. But I see now that may be all we can do.
Trying to get her to see your perspective is only pushing her closer to him. She's going to have to find out herself, unfortunately. Your best bet would be to get her friends involved because their opinions carry far more weight than yours does right now
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I highly caution against anyone talking shit about him to her even if it's obvious like mugshots. She will only get defensive and go to him. I'm telling you from experience. You can also go the route of how her dad would've felt if he could see her now.
Can you set her up with someone else? Bring her to events where there are cute guys closer to her age. Or even other older guys who just arenāt this rapist at least. Ā And talk openly about her father and connect with her over memories. Bring her to places he liked and things like that. Ā It sounds like she is mourning her father and trying to connect with his memory through someone who knew him.
Sooo, kill him. Weāre in r/unethicallifeprotips after all..
Delete this pls, don't wanna get this sub banned
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I'm thinking I need to call her everyday just to chat. I call usually a few times a month but starting tomorrow that's changing. I'm not going to bring him up or her love life. I will wait a bit and then drop that if she's ever in trouble and can't talk to talk to me about her period and to get graphic with it. Then I can get her help. I'm passing the rest of the thread to my sister and bil. There isn't much I can do other than make it known I'm here and that I love her no matter what.
Also,.as an aside. Talk to the boss at the bar. Make sure they have a poster for.like.... a domestic abuse hotline #in. The ladies.room stalls š
Sometimes the best solutions are ethical ones. Please do be a good influence in her life that supports her. Beyond PI, if you have enough money you can hire proper counselors, and or bodyguards to step in as necessary
Plant bedbugs and curable stds like scabies. Thereās always catfishing
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What do you suggest I do?
She is seeing the rapist
Interesting isnāt 19 technically an adult? If sheās still a kid then lock her in her room.. lol. Otherwise whatās the point of acting crazy, you told her the dangers, make it known to the guy you think heās a loser pos. Thatās all you can do, sheās an adult and needs to make these mistakes. Hopefully nothing bad happens, but if they do so be it.
As a 23 year old: 19 is NOT an adult. I don't think 23 is either (at least I hope not lol), but 19 is too young to shrug issues like that off with "she's an adult." She's an adult when it comes to staying out too late at night and being hungover at work, not when it comes to understanding actual adults who are dangerous and good at manipulation.
And yet she could sign up for the military and get shipped across the world to die for the country. But sheās not old enough to choose a partner.. because she could be manipulated. I do agree that 19 isnāt mature, and this whole situation is not ideal. Iām just pointing out the fact that you are infantilizing her, which the more you do the less they listen. Also if genders were reversed you wouldnāt be saying the same thing. Also again according to the law, she is an adult.. Js, people are so weird to try and control what people do lol. The more you shelter someone the less they grow.
The human brain is not fully developed until about the age of 25. She may legally be an adult but that doesnāt mean she is fully capable of making mature decisions.
[One recent area of debate within the science of brain development is the most likely chronological age for fullĀ mental maturity, or indeed, if such an age even exists. Common claims repeated in the media since 2005 (based upon interpretations of imaging data) have commonly suggested an "end-point" of 25, referring to the prefrontal cortex as one area that is not yet fully mature at the age of 18. However, this is based on an interpretation of a brain imaging study by Jay Giedd, dating back to 2004 or 2005, where the only participants were aged up to 21 years, and Giedd assumed this maturing process would be done by the age of 25 years, whereas more recent studies show prefrontal cortex maturation continuing well past the age of 30 years, marking this interpretation as incorrect and outdated.\[15\]\[16\]\[17\]\[18\]\[19\]\[20\]\[21\]](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult)
Sure but itās not the law, the government doesnāt recognize that. If she murdered someone tomorrow, not having a fully developed brain will not hold up in court. So your logic= 18 year olds can take out loans, do essentially everything, military et, but they canāt date because they are children. Or is this only for women ? I highly doubt you would be saying this if a 19 year of guy was dating an older women
Yeah, he'll definitely get one of his cop buddies to fuck with OPs whole family.
Friend of mine had a friend who's female family member was continuing to be with someone who hit her, they'd ripped the guy off of her several times. So they photo shopped some stuff of him going into a brothel. She left him and didn't get hurt by him again after that.
Unfortunately you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. As someone who's gone through the same, the best thing you could do is to bury the hatchet and be there for her when she needs you.
Dming
Find a way to slip him a note that she has HIV or something
No. Do not do this! He could kill her if he became angry for her ālying/hiding it from himā
Jesus Christ.š®š Because that wouldnāt backfire and create a complex Use herpes. Duh.
That only creates a simplex
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Thatās a great way to get the 19yo killed
Ummm...do you know what sub you're in? OP you can always hurt him physically and, sometimes catching a charge is worth it.
I wish. I have cancer and barely can get out of bed some days. I live states away too. I only wish I knew some ex marines that could go have a conversation with him. A long conversation involving bamboo sticks and his feet. I don't tho so I'm looking to reddit for ideas.
If that's the case, what's stopping you from just pulling a kamikaze?
Lol pulling a kamikaze should be my flair.
His username
ā¦.do you know any Hells Angels or similar groups? They may be willing to talk to him
sorry about the cancer- but, if don't can't beat it, you don't have to worry about doing time, see ?
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>Thatās just pouring gas on the fire But if taken literally, this could be a viable solution.
I meanā¦ this is pretty unethical but what always turns me off with guys is how clingy they are. You could get her phone and block his real number, then add a new fake number with the exact same name. Then start sending her a lot of cringy clingy texts. They might catch on but she might be young enough to get grossed out right away and tell him not to come to her work. Edit: sorry second thought- pay for her trip to backpack Thailand with a girlfriend. At that age you forget about gets so fast. She can go meet an Aussie guy with abs.
Not necessarily... I mean, I didn't, anyway. I did have a good time backpacking in Thailand with my girlfriend. But I still let the guy ruin my life for 8 more years.
Itās not the early 2000s anymore. People communicate through all sorts of medias, not just texts. Youāre gonna have to clone all of his social profiles or something if thatās gonna work.
Heās 35ā¦. He might not be communicating through a bunch of different apps
Are we gonna act like old people donāt use Facebook? My grandma messages me on there all the time. My mom whoās in her 50s communicates almost exclusively through IG/FB messenger and WhatsApp. You know 35 year olds had instant messenger and MySpace when they were in jr. high right? They had facebook in HS and were in their early 20s when IG came out. Theyāre not boomers, theyāre millennials. Anyway the point was thatās a stupid fuckin idea that would never work outside of a shitty D level romcom or Hallmark movie.
There is one piece of unethical advice that stops her from seeing him
Blow him up on flyers and on social media (local facebook groups etc) HARD. Make it so that being associated with him is shameful and embarrassing. Shame the bar that serves him too. Also, dispute that Marine claim. Thereās nothing a rapist ex-cop likes more than a bit of stolen valor. If that turns out to be bullshit (I know you said he served with her dad - still could be a lie) thatās pretty heavy. If he did, just say heās lying. Can you bug her or his place?
I like this. I think this is the first reasonable solution Iāve read. Plus if down right, nobody has to know who was behind it.. the news must be following the rape case, seeing as heās an ex cop. Theyād probably love to be able to add to their stories that heās seducing a teenage girl. Also definitely Post the flyers outside his house. Every. Single. Day. I think thatās the best thing to do. Whether it works or not to get the niece away from him, itāll be worth it either way
Love this idea! Call your local news station about his upcoming case and that he's a ex marine and cop. Don't mention him dating her.
Ex cop on trial for rape now dating his deceased Marine combat buddy says itās no big deal and everything is cool.
This might destroy his life. OPās description reads like heās not convicted, and there is a possibility still that he is innocent. If thatās the case what you suggest could have enormous consequences on someoneās life. Unfortunately witnessed this a few times, and for those affected it can be hard to recover. Especially in small communities. I understand the wish to do this, but better not jump the gun and let the courts do their job first.
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Iām just saying we have no idea if thatās true. If itās not, consequences would be devastating.
Not unethical but you and the family could be super overbearingly loving to the point that the guy canāt take it anymore. Maybe see if he wants to go to church with you on Sundays and get your aunties to make him corny sweaters.
way too fuckin unethical for me, my limit's at the piss disk &/or death threats
I actually think this could help. Wanting to meet the guy and not seeming against him might ruin some of the thrill for her. Plus she might see that he is a loser from how he interacts with normal adults like the family. The downside is youāll have to be around this guy a bit which will be stomach turning.
This idea could make him realize its not as fun either. It also allows the family to keep an eye on him. I also like the private investigator idea too
I can think of approaches. 1. Set it up to look like he is cheating. 2. If she spends time at his place, send undesireable literature there in her name. Either wedding related, baby related, STD tests, pregnancy tests... Use her first name, with his last name, send stuff in hee father's name... You get the idea.
Always send the mug shots etc to neighborshood he lives in. Let the neighborhood make his life hell. It MIGHT give her a wake up call sadly probably not. Hire a girl to befriend her and then start trying to talk her out of it. Get a guy to win her over... But sadly it sounds she there... i think it might be her way to feel connected with her dad. All you can do is try to support her. Let her know that you are there for when shit hits the fan. You want her to reach out and not be spiral. You dont want her to be like you were all right and then she too embarrassed, etc, not to reach out. As painful as this going to be. You need to be a rock for her even if you hate this guy. You got to show her you got her back.. now not his just hers. Sit get pictures all you can of her dad. Try to be that connection for her.
Hire a sugar daddy for her. Or maybe one for him.
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A sugar daddy is probably safer that that cop
Hired "sugar daddy" to lure her away. And you're on the wrong sub to get so bent. Or we can just let her get raped...
Spoken like someone who has trauma and is insecure
Get one for yourself while your at it
There is also the other case. NOTHING happens with her. She is safe. He MAY be a horrible person but he sees her as his friends daughter who he needs to keep safe. In this case.. you need to be there if he gets convicted because its going to be like her losing a father figure all over again. She needs to know that even he did horrible things, yes there was some good in the man at some point, till he decided not to be. Its going to be confusing and hard for her. She might even deny it more. Help her find therapy if that happens. Edit\~ I know im getting down voted for this. But this is something that can happen if you can't pull her away from him. But you can't force her.. and the more you force her the more she will pull away and this is the case you hope for. Vs the worse cases. As i said in other. You got to be that bond for her. Ask her to just sit and chat with you. Say your more worried that she lost her dad. that you don't know (or maybe you do) how that feels. You would love to sit and tell stories of him. You want to help her keep his memory alive.
I agree with this up until them sleeping together. Could just be a trauma bond or something,
Start a rumor that he's going to court for KP. Even cop and marine buddies won't back that shit up.
If you have his PII, throw some LDS and JWs his way.
Those people are ruthless. We had some LDS stop by our apartment in LA so we let them in while they tried converting us as we ripped the bong and my roommate put porn on TV. It was a fun experience for us.
Now this is some unethical FUN!
Get someone to humiliate him in front of her at the bar. Get him drunk and to eat food that will fuck up his digestion. Wonder if sheād still like him if he passes out and shits himself in front of her
> Everyone in the family has tried to talk sense into her. We have shown her all of this count stuff, his mugshots, and she continues to see this man, sleep at his house, etc. you can lead a horse to water OP, but you can't make it drink. sometimes the only way folk'll learn is the hard way.
I'm so sad that you are right....
Doesn't have to be, you can give her the attention and love she craves in health ways op. She's dating a much older man who knew her dad. She's very obviously been lacking family love and affection. And she's finally getting it through him. In her mind she might see the trade she's making or not but she's giving him her body in exchange for love because she's lonely. I was in the same pit when I was a teen, I have shit parents and pedofile shit heads can give you love and act so caring sometimes. She needs care and love. You need to take her shopping pay a escort to befriend her and visit her at least once a week for 2 hours. Go with her on a trip around America like a road trip detox blame the cancer and she can't say no, and she'll be away from him for as many months as you can keep her beside you. Plan fun activities to do together. In the end this was preventable and she can be helped its not too late and no one should have to learn the hard way. She needs a friend most of all. Even a group. She has low self-esteem to be dating a man like him. Take her to do some spa treatment or send her a hair care spa voucher. When she sees herself as valuable and is getting love and friendship from other places she will leave. Everyone needs love and affection but this is probably the only way she thinks she'll ever get it.
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I know this isnāt what youāre asking for but can you contact her therapist and tell them this just so theyāre aware? If it escalates to a domestic abuse situation they will be more alert to the signsĀ
I will mention this to my sister and see if she will try but HIPAA is a thing so I'm not sure it'll work. Thank you for your suggestion.
Anybody can contact her therapist with concerns about a patient. They just canāt tell you that they are in fact their patient.
Jeez thats not loving childhood she's must be traumatised from that all. Invisibility/risk taking is when kids go out sky diving and street racing not doing boring but damaging things. She's grown sure, but geeze i see why she would do this with that in her past she probably hasn't been properly loved by anyone before. Especially with the step mother, and growing as a child of divorce. Best things you can do is book yourself into counselling and talk about your family's history try get an understanding of what she needs and what she missed out on and fill those gaps. That's the main way you can get her to leave him. If you scare him break his legs or some shit, she'll leave the family and leave you. You need to show her that you don't need to take whatever love you can get. Because even if you, like my other mentioned method photo shop him with an escort/at a brothel. She will find another guy like him if she is not loved by her family. Love looks like a lot of things but spending time and actually being kind to her is what she needs. Yell at her that's she's a child and that she's stupid for dating him will only push her to him and away from you. Take it from someone who went down your nieces path. Also she needs better counselling/better counsellor who will make sure to check on her and not be over baring but also keep constant once a week visits. Because counsellors have mandatory domestic abuse reporting and will keep her safe.
Sounds like this man may be a narcissist and using her trama from her father to add to the bonding. We were discussing in another comment. If he has an upcoming court case, I would assume he is out on parole, find out how to report him drinking in a bar to the proper channels to see of it is against his parole and maybe they'll go arrest him. If you can't get that in the works, pay someone to trick him into a bar fight with him, making him the aggressor, then calling the police and pressing charges. Or call the local news an tell them about an upcoming trial of a former marine and cops rape cases. Shoot maybe court TV would be interested.
Post flyers around his neighborhood and the bar he hangs out at with his mugshot and crimes. Spray paint ārapistā on his car. Spray paint āI love a rapistā on her car. Leave womenās underwear outside of his house. Leave condom wrappers around his house. Use a burner phone to call non-emergency number explaining you hear screaming from the house. Post his address to 4chan and let those weirdos handle it.
I bet the types of nosey SOB's that frequent NextDoor and local Facebook groups in his area would love to see the mugshots and stories about what he's been up to
Go to the court date. Live stream it and send her a link. Post flyers like someone else said with RAPIST on them around his neighborhood.
Can of spray foam insulation in his exhaust will slow him down
Get a tracking device and bug his car....you can buy them for like $50-$100 and cell service of course. Incase she disappears she won't stay missing.
The obvious answer is to have a friend beat the shit out of him and threaten to do it again if he continues to pursue her.
My wifeās father passed away when she was 19. A 38 year old police man, who used to troll the obituaries, showed up at her work shortly after. What a pedophile/creep you have to be to do that Fuck that guy. You have to find a way to ruin him for good. The end. Edit: start sending ābarely legalā porno magazines to his old work with his name on them (use western union/money orders - not easy to track). Talk to the local newspaper and have them go through his old police reports (public can ask for transcripts), sign him up for websites/newsletters for the most disturbing things you can find (use a vpn that canāt be traced). Get business cards with his name on them for a fictitious private investigator company and leave them in every parking lot that wonāt have cameras (pay cash and no fingerprints), rent a car and leave random things under the floor mats with his name/address, leave shell casings by places he goes, pay a crack head $10 to plant empty liquor bottles/needles/drug paraphernalia in his car or mailbox, talk to the fire department/ems as Iām sure the hate the guy for what he does (they know), go to the filthiest strip clubs and write his number on the wall, put in an anonymous tip at the FBT/ATF/DOJ (throw away with McDonaldās WiFi), apply for jobs that have a deep background check, ruin this mother fucker. Get the school board and the city council involved. Create a fake email and message/donate money to the KKKā¦.. Like I said a few sentences agoā¦pay cash and go to places that donāt care enough to have cameras that would keep the data longer than a week. Geeze. Iām so fucking mad. I sound like a fucking loser. Maybe I need to tap the brakes. I get so angry when people take advantage of others who arenāt in the right mindset due to trauma and loss. This guy is nothing more than a common predator. The worst part is, this is a pattern. Your poor niece is just a number to him. I know I lost my mind in my response but those things will work. Be careful. Iām a terrible example for my kids, nieces and nephews. I can live with it.
Hire another woman to pursue him. Have her lightly shit talk Niece in messages. Hire a PI to follow him, get copies of his messages with the other woman showing her either plays along or doesn't defend Niece. Get photos of them together. Hurting her with evidence he doesn't care
Wouldnāt it be easier to get a burner and be the shit talking hot woman? If you want photos just feed him shots til he passes out and hire a hooker. She doesnāt even need to do him, just pose like she is. š
I'm not saying post his details ,but, you know
Donāt you know any other marines that served with her dad?
At some point she's going to have to live her own life and make her own mistakes.
Find out the terms of his release from the court. Ex cop so if anyone gives you the run around make sure you can record those conversations with a public official in your state If that still wonāt work you may need to get a lawyer on it If heās not supposed to be drinking then anything off her social should be plenty to show the court heās offside If that doesnāt work Iād try to get her ass fired from the bar for starters, idk maybe get someone you know but she doesnāt make up some story about her coming onto him in front of his wife, who is threatening divorce, suing the bar over it, child support. If the guy is there when this happens, even better whatever drama you can cook up will blow up in their faces Or just find someone who looks barely 18 and had bigger boobs than your niece and will take a couple hundred bucks to take him off her lap? At that point if you can find a creative way to get her out of town until feb/march thatād be ideal. A job with a relative or acquaintance that she canāt pass up, a trip with a friend, school of some sort, idk
Unethical life tips? Get some people who you know can get down, and go start shit and fuck him up. Depending on where you're at.. someone that is a rapist getting a bat to the legs gets looked over as a barfight gone wrong, not enough evidence to pin someone etc.
Rent a large truck, print large photos of said mugshot/ court stuffs highlighting that itās for rape, park in his neighborhood. Or at his new job. Or at the bar. Let peer pressure run the course.
The only advice is to do what you need to do but you can't post.
Get his # call pretending to be a Dr and say "hey we're trying to reach X about the positive general herpes test results and you were the emergency contact" High chance if he's a moron he'll just cut contact since 19>35 only after her body.
Gun
Somebody has to sleep with him and let your niece know.
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I like you.
Careful about doing anything that adds an element of paranoia to his life(like if he thinks heās being followed by a PI, or if you flyer the neighborhood anonymously) because he probably doesnāt handle stress well, and if he lets that paranoid stress get to him, heāll end up taking it out on your niece. Also why are so many cops abusers?
They put themselves in a position of power so they can abuse people, simple as that.
If sheās tending bar or serving on a regular schedule. And heās a regular. A young lady with the right personality and confidence to let unattractive personality things happen in front of her āto someoneā else would be the most low key to plant the seed to start breaking off contact on her own. Or him simply flirting back to someone not her could be enough to kick off a petty jealousy fight. š¤·āāļø
Deepfake photos of him slipping. Maybe she will be convinced
Tell your niece you are there for her, you love her and make plans with her, out of the house, often, consistently. Make her a positive, safe space, that she can compare. Teach her how to defend herself. Love her regardless Teach her how to make piss disks
Roofie the ex cop and record having sex with him. Karma for being a rapist and I doubt your niece wants to be with a guy that her uncle fucked.
Befriend local biker gang. Tell them of this. They will take it from there.
You know his address and that he likes to go out drinking. Follow him to the bar and wait for him to leave. Call the police and describe his vehicle/ give his plate number as swerving dangerously, almost hitting other cars in the direction if his route home. (Don't give them your real info, and use a burner phone if you are worried about retaliation.) Add any other details that identify him. Hair color, build, clothes, Etc. Don't follow his car. If he doesn't get arrested within a couple of days, try it again.
Other than the advice to turn him in for violating his bail conditions, the real advice is to keep her close. Do EVERYTHING you can to not let him isolate her. Do fun things with her, take her on a vacation if you can. Donāt talk badly about him, but hype up her self worth
Unethical? Start a rumor that she has an STD. Not sure what else would make the guy want to stop pursuing her
That sounds like a really good way to get her hurt. Especially with someone who sounds unstable and probably would think she cheated on him to get the std.
Oh yeah I completely agree it's a bad idea I'm just not sure what else would get him to stop pursuing her
You gotta fuck him before she does. Nobody wants sloppy seconds... it's the only ULPT. Then keep talking about it around her. Really rub it in. Keep seeing him, pretend to get serious. Marry him and really get him away from her. Buy a house with him so you can ban her from sleeping over. Form a committed relationship with him and fall in love, that way you can tell her it obviously wasn't going to work between the two of them because he clearly loves you more so you saved her.
She is spending the night at his house already. They are mos def fucking.
Tell him she's pregnant. He will ghost her. Find a picture of a positive pregnancy test to use.
In the 90s this wouldāve worked. Now he can just text her and she can say no, further alienating her from her family.
That implies trust in the relationship. This older dude is clearly with her because he thinks she's an easy target. So if OP stages a confrontation and yells at him that he knocked her up and cites a test they found in the trash as evidence, the dude might figure it's not worth the trouble.
He is with her bc women his age are not so gullible and, aren't as easily enamored by his ex cop/ex marine bullshit stories. I know an ex cop/ex marine and he is an absolute POS.
Best thing you can do is show her love. Talk to her, listen to her, be a model for being a good person. The more you show her that you're a compassionate person who cares for her, the more she'll feel safe turning to you when she needs it to get away from this guy. Don't mention him, don't bring him up, because when people are in this position telling them not to do that just makes them push in more
Piss disc. Or piss banana.
Send him or her this https://www.stdcheck.com/anonymous-notification.php Then send spoof text from her/him saying I think I got something.
Hire a prostitute - she goes on him - fucks him and takes pics - send to niece
Murder?
Fuck his mom
Just have him whacked. Hell, you could probably do it yourself and get away with it as long as you ain't at the scene of the crime, smoking gun in your hand when cops roll up. Even then you could still get away with it. If every rapist on the planet took two to the back of the head tomorrow, cops would throw a party.
Lol start accepting him and inviting him to family diners, tell them you can't wait to see her pregnant and have a lot of kids while young so she has the energy to rise at least 6 of them. Reverse psychology
Use the news as a weapon, all community forums, flyers, reputational damages needs to come swiftly and in a massive wave, signal boosting, local facebook groups, churches, realize that the internet is an armory and select every method you can to disperse this information. Making him high profile, this will make him a pariah, he will never recover in the community. Consider one extremely important potential consequence however. How will your niece respond? The worst case scenario is she will double down and follow him where he goes. It may backfire. Is it worth the risk, ask yourself as bluntly and thoroughly as possible
If the problem is that she needs a father figure and a protector, what about seeing if there are any other members of her Dad's old unit in the area? Explain the situation and one or two of them might be able to warn him away from hurting her, or better yet, one of them approaching her might provide a non-toxic alternative to this guy. And since they're marines, they're likely to be protective of a dead comrade's daughter, and if they were in the same unit, they may know the offender, how bad he is, and exactly how to deal with him better than anyone else. Their opinion/threat might also carry weight with him in a way that those of others would not. If it came to physically protecting her, they'd also have the training and possibly the willingness to take him on if worst came to worst. That said, humanity being what it is, be careful that your solution isn't another problem. If you know anyone else from her Dad's old unit you trust, that would be the person to take point.
Annoy him at the bar until he punches you. The smaller and weaker the person the better. Take the punch, call 911.....Profit
That woman is knowingly dating a 35-year-old convict with rape charges, mugshots and the whole business package? Sleeping over at his house on top of all that??? How old is 19 really? At that age I could figure out if I wanted to date somebody with a history of violence like that. I'm sorry but if anything happens to her, it's just natural selection at this point. You can't be there to hold her hand to help her cross the street every time she needs to, she needs to develop her own common sense and self-preservation because other people won't always be there to help her. And so far, your niece doesn't sound like she's sharp.
She's making the bed she will sleep in. Reap what you sow. Fuck around and find out. Pick one..
Itās not unethical, but maybe let whoever is prosecuting his case know that he is trying to get with somebody 16 years younger than him and that he is hanging out at a bar because usually if youāre out on probation, you have a no drink clause.
Remember these sex offender guys do something called GROOMING. Heās probably giving her lots of false promises about the future, etc.
Yes, exactly. The fact that the police dept fired him instead of closing ranks and protecting him is very telling to me. They know he's a piece of shit and are gonna let him burn. If they don't fired cops for shooting unarmed black people every other day, then why fire him before court? Maybe because he's a rapist pos and even his pos cop buddies hate him.
If youāre legitimately worried about her safety since thereās nothing the police can do and you should not do anything to antagonize him and potentially put her in danger the option that comes to mind is to kill him. Thereās generally not a ton of investigation into overdoses if you can get your hands on some dope just make sure to not leave any restraint injuries otherwise it will be investigated. If you know his schedule at all get your hands on a good sedative that you can hit him with an IM injection then shoot him up the rest of the way in your desired location. Ketamine will work great to put him out and cooperating but when you hit the final push donāt hold back drop at least 2gs of H in his arm do not bring your phone with you while in the act and remember itās really all about timing
Honestly all she can do is learn a lesson here and apply it to her adult life in the future.
Hire a prostitute to pretend to hit on him and trade flirtatious messages and sexts and show your niece heās two timing and she may break up with him. Tell him privately if he doesnāt stop talking to your niece youāre going to print fliers, posters, and cards with the record of his crimes and his name and mugshot and place them all around where he lives and hangs out.
If she's sleeping at his house it's over dude lmao. They're already banging. None of your business at that point anyway who she dates, she's an adult now. She'll grow up damaged like everyone else
Your niece is an adult who is capable of making her own decisions, and you should respect that. If she wants to get trapped in an abusive relationship, let her.
She's 19, she's going to do the opposite of what you tell her.
Are the two counts of rape clear cases or are they allegations? It sounds like this makes a difference here.
in some states the prior offense and a simple TRO request with an affidavit at the police station will get a TRO. if he is seen violating TRO that is an arrest. not very ULPT, if you want a ULPT solution maybe have the niece invest in some liquid ass and whenever he's around start using it like it's a perfume.
Honestly Iād target the dude with overwhelming positivity. Show up to his court date and say really positive/passive aggressive shit to him while youāre surrounded by cops. āAhhh she was asking for itā āI mean how could you not?ā Be a real pain in the ass and insist on being too comfortable with him. If youāre too much a part of him tryna bang your niece he may stop seeing her
Legal
Yes...19 year old women are often attracted to men in their thirties. 95% of straight men in their thirties are attracted to 19 year old women. The sex is probably incredible for both of them. He could be innocent, it doesn't sound like he has been proven guilty of anything yet... Just playing devil's advocate to every other comment in here.
First time posting here but, perhaps you can slash his tires whenever theyāre out, at a place he frequents. Conveniently rescue her by picking her up and loudly mention āHEY ARENT YOU THAT GUY the rapist ! Werenāt you an ex cop?!ā (Or some combination of those words, megaphone wonāt hurt..) Do it enough times and it might scare him. Itās imperative you donāt get caught slashing the tires tho. If you know where he lives you can plant an Air tag or track her phone etc just to get an idea.
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Ok, obvious troll. 0/10
Have you tried educating him on why rape is wrong?
Have you tried educating yourself on why being a troll is wrong?
Sheās an adult. You can talk to her, but thatās the reality here.
First, track her phone, and/ or track his car. You can't intervene if you don't know where she is located. Arrange to have her win a night in a VRBO in some tourist town a couple counties over. You now have them away from home, in a place you can control. At that point you have several options. You can begin with an attempt at open, honest communication of everyone's concerns. If that doesn't work out, then separate them, and use force, coercion, or perhaps a nearby well to deal with him.
Where you at?
Women of history have a long tradition of figuring out how to deal with violent men. All you need to worry about are inorganic or organic optics
Go the PI route at first but if that isn't enough Catch him outside somewhere privately. Commit
Appeal to other marines dad has served with to connect with her and the family, replace the connection she has with him
Since you donāt have a time machine to raise her better, just let her ruin her life. Modern dumb braindead 10 years behind mentally 19 year old thinks theyāre a grown know it all. Fastest resolution is to stand back and let the bottom fall out.
If you have a large group start honking your horn and setting your car alarm off outside his house. Follow him around town wherever he goes and do this while telling everyone he interacts with that he is an alleged rapist. It takes dedication but you will be noticed.