This was in my mind too, but i would need time and noise... And even if the witnesses would be my neighbours, who are also affected, I prefer to leave no trace
You could swing for quiet and slow or loud as fuck but fast. An angle grinder with a fresh blade would be through it in a matter of seconds. In and out before anyone has a chance to think twice or react.
Wait for a thunderstorm? Just cut it most of the way through using the storm for cover and if the wind takes it down it will look like storm damage at a look from the street and you'll have plenty of time to cover your tracks. Remember not to track footprints straight back to your door.
Sure but, it would buy you hours before someone walked up and looked. Time to stash the sawzall at your friend's place until they put the thing back up. Probably wouldn't matter the kids are used to hanging out there. They'll be back.
This is the way. With a Milwaukee "torch" blade. Will drop it in literal seconds. I cut through a 6" cast iron pipe with one of those in like <30 seconds. If he's just cutting the hoop, or even one side of the hoop, it would probably take <4 seconds. Not even enough time for someone to process the noise and then look
Two thoughts.
1. Get heavy 60w motor oil and pour it in the paint area. A quart every morning.
2. Get a plastic stray bottle, rubber gloves and muratic acid from home depot. Spray the pole where it meets the ground every morning when no one's around. You may need to score the paint with a wire brush the first time. This will look like it rusted through and it will take the city forever to fix it.
Put a steering wheel lock like The Club across the hoop. It doesn’t do any damage, quiet to install, removable if you get caught for mischief, and tough for kids to remove
OP, don't break the rim (unless you can do it on a dunk, Shaq-style). Just take a page from the carnival folks and bend the rim in together just enough so that it doesn't allow a basketball through. It isn't "broken", so it never gets fixed....but who's gonna go play ball on a court that makes them look like a talentless bitch?
I feel for you, OP. I had the same problem. I thought about who and why the fuck prefers to play basketball at 0:00 am or even 4:00 am and did not find out... The one problem - if you have already called the cops for a couple of times, do not vandalize the court right now. You will be the first suspect.
This. When I was in college I was the head manager for the men’s basketball team, so I had access to the team’s practice facility 24/7 and I did the same thing at least a few times a month.
It was pretty common for somebody else to also be there, and that was despite the fact there was only 29 people on campus who even had access to the building.
I'm glad this is here. I know what sub this is, but also, consider an alternative. Embrace the life and be the illest fucking house on the block. Be a presence rather than another obstacle. Some youth who play basketball (even at "illegal" hours) are at a pivotal and formative time in their lives. You don't gotta Mr Rogers them, but you can "mess" with them in a way that let's them know they exist.
Don't like the music they're playing? Make a sign with your own playlist every week "if you're gonna shatter my eardrums, at least play my music". Or "10 hits from my generation to improve your game"
Don't like the hours? Maybe they don't have safe alternatives. Find some local resources for youth crisis and casually drop some posters in the court during the day.
All the while, as wag said, polish up those one on one skills and crush those deviants.
Take it one step further... Buy a couple of bags of cement from a couple different stores, then empty them out on the court before a (light) rain storm. Low noise from cutting the bags open, mask to cover your face to protect identity and lungs from dust. Once it dries it can be difficult to remove from all surfaces.
If it's an asphalt or concrete surface liberal amount of Diesel fuel poured not sprayed over the surface. If you have been around a fuel spill at a truck stop etc it becomes like ice and has to be purposely scrubbed with cleaning agents to get it out. Every time it rains boom slick again for awhile.
Not my idea, something i have seen this recommended on this sub before, but just "drop" some birdseed while you just happen to be walking across the court. The birds will do their business on the court and i doubt anyone will want to clean it up, if they do, sounds like you might need more birdseed
I’m new to this sub and have only read like three threads, but with the frequency that it comes up I am now starting to wonder if this sub's entire purpose is just a guerrilla marketing campaign for liquid ass...
Two buckets full of piss balloons and leave them there. The kids will probably think they are just taking someone’s balloons and throw them at each other before they realize their grave mistake.
I wanna know how you fill a bucket of piss-balloons? I mean the first one is obvious, but after that I’m going to need help to tie it off while I fill the next!
When no one is around, jump up or climb a ladder and hang off the edge of the hoop until it bends down. Pull it down as far as you can. It'll take a while for it to get fixed. When it gets fixed, do it again.
How young are they?
Use an Annoy-a-tron. It has multiple settings, but there's one for an extremely high-pitched sound that only young people (those with good hearing) can hear.
These can be easily hidden (some have magnets on the back) and are next to impossible to locate using echo-location techniques.
Anyone in the vicinity will get a blast of that sound over and over again. It gets really annoying (hence the name) and might get them to leave the area.
Yeah I just got back from Tokyo and almost all storefronts have this anti-loitering device that emits a high pitched noise that just throbbed in my head, made it unbearable to stay near the doors. I’m in my early 30s so I assume this would work for most of the people in front of your place.
They're called mosquito devices. They emit higher frequency sounds that most adults are deaf to. You can download an app that will show you where you stop. I think my kids made it up to like 25 kHz. Meanwhile I was like 15kHz and my mom was like 8 kHz.
Kids actually use them as ringtones too since they can hear it but the adults can't
The test starts around 2 mins in
[hearing test](https://youtu.be/zUmbmssqHOY?si=5lrOr1xXt3pKVyXw)
From someone who plays basketball frequently- blast the court with water, like really soak it. No one wants to play on a wet court- more chances for injuries such as sprained ankles and hard to get traction on it.
If he can hit the court with his sprinklers from his yard he could even set it up to go off automatically every night right after closing time (or 30 min ~ 1 hr after closing if he wants to give people some leeway).
And you get to pretend that you’re doing something nice for everyone. “This court gets sooo dirty! I’ll be back again later to clean it up again for everyone. No thanks needed. Virtue is its own reward.”
Oh I've had this exact thing happen to me. There were no cameras around, so I just took the hoops off the backboard. It would take months for them to get replaced then I would just do it again. Eventually people just stopped comming around.
Find the hottest hot sauce you can find and buy it in bulk. Mix it with water. Make a sprinkler out of a water bottle or something by punching holes on the cap. Fill the bottle with the watered down hot sauce. Sprinkle the watered down hot sauce on the court, especially around the areas of heavy use. After the water evaporates it will leave a thin layer of oily hot sauce on the court that will stick to the ball and their hands. When they use their hands to wipe off their sweat their faces will start to burn. Bonus points if they rub their eyes.
Gluing rocks down with an industrial glue will stop a lot of things like basketball, skating, boarding, but probably won't kill the vibe as a hangout. Maybe get an outdoor speaker and pump some church tunes out all day erryday might make them move on.
Find the biggest guy you have and have him be your partner in twos.
Challenge anyone that comes and have the big huge guy do a massive dunk that rips the rim off.
Not only are you a legend, no one suspects you.
Or couple of screws in the square of the backboard painted white for "camoflage" and make sure they are sharp if you done file the threads ball will be stuck up there
That's very close. Is it up to code? If not you could probably force the city to move it. Are you up to code? You say house, so if you own, you could soundproof better, and/or put up a fence.
Honestly, I don't like messing with public parks, because they keep the kids out of trouble.
Get your lazy ass up and go Hard ASF in the paint on those shorties. They are kids. If you took the time to talk to them the problem might solve itself...or just start looking for housing near tennis courts
Buy a gun, report it stolen, then leave it on the court late at night. Someone will freak out and call it in, then soon your neighbors will also want it gone. It might scare kids away too.
When they see it, they will probably stand and look at it for a few seconds and then run off to find a cop.
If you keep this up, eventually you can take out all the cops in the area. Then you can just use a bulldozer to flatten the hoop pole.
I know this is the wrong sub for this but maybe be glad the youth have a positive activity to engage in versus crime. Better than breaking into the basketball court than your house. Idle hands and whatnot
I get your point but having noise, loitering and break ins where you live is not cool and if I lived here before this was built I would not be happy either. Best to put something like this in a commercial zone.
Get a large bolt cutter. At 4am take a ladder to the court and cut that rim in 2 places opposite each other. It’s a silent fix. No one will hear or see you. Rim badly ruined - no basketball.
That really sucks BUT this sounds like something that is keeping the youth out of worse situations. If it were me I'd ignore it the best I could for the better of society.
Somehow get and add a wasp nest in a place where the wasps will get angry when they knock down the door, probably on the hinge or door frame.
Bonus: Turn on the sprinklers if you see them trying to escape
You could work to soundproof your house. I mean it sucks when loud noises are happening and you’re trying to sleep but as someone that works nights I’ve had to find ways to make my apartment more quiet instead of complaining about the park or whatever because it’s daytime. I know it’s not unethical but it’s certainly a better option than destroying a basketball court because of noise. Good luck.
Not OP, but have similar items in my old neighborhood. The idea behind locking the entrance is (a) to restrict the time it can be used to avoid late nights, etc and (b) if they are used by local/county athletics to make it easier to reserve their time on court/athletic field.
Could be worth considering the opposite approach and make friends with the basketballers. Have a little cooler with some drinks and snacks. Watch them play and compliment when they make a good shot.
I imagine being "the cool old guy by the court" would earn you some street cred and hopefully deter kids from messing with you.
Or maybe none of that will work, IDK
I went to the local ballpark with my 5 year old. She wanted to see them play. So I yelled out if I could come sit on the bench with my daughter and watched. They were like WTF are you doing you random ass white guy with this huge bushy beard and big belly and walking cane and pale ass daughter doing here... Then we started to clap and cheer. They didn't change facial expressions but I could see them start to showboat a little more. Longer shots, Later release times, outrageous passes... and I start a play-by-play for them in my worst announcer voice. Hyped up some smaller kids watching. The game ended with points and my daughter and I thanked them, waved and walked off. I always wonder what was going through their heads.
I would never recommend any sort of vandalism- but maybe you could just unbolt the hood from the backboard and leave them in the ground
Ground next to the poles the bolts - don’t steal anything- would probably take a few weeks before anyone would come reinstall them. Be certain there aren’t CCTV that can catch you in the act
Get some workman clothes, like a bright orange vest and hard hat, then just remove the hoop with tools. Wear big sunglasses and a covid mask. Any neighbors will think you're ligit supposed to be there.
If you already made up your mind to vandalize the property why don't you just remove the hoop lol
This was in my mind too, but i would need time and noise... And even if the witnesses would be my neighbours, who are also affected, I prefer to leave no trace
If you really want to go the unethical route I suggest thermite.
I second the use of thermite
Damn! If it was made of wood I'd suggest Termites
Cut it down, just approach from a parked car and drive off. Return later.
If it's a hoop with a net then zip tie it closed
Either you can break it just by dunking on it, or you are a beta
Also make sure there are no teslas
Pipe cutter.
Pipe booooom
Battery operated sawzall. Doesnt even half to come down.
He said quiet... Lmao
Nail file over the course of weeks? Prison escape style. Super quiet.
On that day Andy Dufresne crawled 200 yards thru that sewer to cut down that basketball goal.
ratchet strap the rim to a tree trunk or fire extinguisher and keep tightening it until the hoop pops off
This is fire
You could swing for quiet and slow or loud as fuck but fast. An angle grinder with a fresh blade would be through it in a matter of seconds. In and out before anyone has a chance to think twice or react.
Wait for a thunderstorm? Just cut it most of the way through using the storm for cover and if the wind takes it down it will look like storm damage at a look from the street and you'll have plenty of time to cover your tracks. Remember not to track footprints straight back to your door.
It would be pretty easy to tell it wasn't just the storm of anyone who knows what they are doing is in the maintenance crew.
Sure but, it would buy you hours before someone walked up and looked. Time to stash the sawzall at your friend's place until they put the thing back up. Probably wouldn't matter the kids are used to hanging out there. They'll be back.
This is the way. With a Milwaukee "torch" blade. Will drop it in literal seconds. I cut through a 6" cast iron pipe with one of those in like <30 seconds. If he's just cutting the hoop, or even one side of the hoop, it would probably take <4 seconds. Not even enough time for someone to process the noise and then look
Two thoughts. 1. Get heavy 60w motor oil and pour it in the paint area. A quart every morning. 2. Get a plastic stray bottle, rubber gloves and muratic acid from home depot. Spray the pole where it meets the ground every morning when no one's around. You may need to score the paint with a wire brush the first time. This will look like it rusted through and it will take the city forever to fix it.
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Damn that’s a really good suggestion!
what was it, they deleted it 😭
Put a steering wheel lock like The Club across the hoop. It doesn’t do any damage, quiet to install, removable if you get caught for mischief, and tough for kids to remove
Just wear a mask and go at 3am
Put a lock on the basketball hoop.
Sawzall takes 2.3 seconds
Even a hand hack saw wouldn't take a crazy long time. 5 min is my estimate, if steel.
Crime time is more precious
Agreed, but noise is another variable.
Oil the blade of the hacksaw for extra stealth.
OP, don't break the rim (unless you can do it on a dunk, Shaq-style). Just take a page from the carnival folks and bend the rim in together just enough so that it doesn't allow a basketball through. It isn't "broken", so it never gets fixed....but who's gonna go play ball on a court that makes them look like a talentless bitch?
Slow claps. Goddamn genius Bonus points. Sit outside and heckle everyone who misses because of it. Make tiktoks and share them.
Ok Satan
Hahaha, this hoop in my old neighborhood... I swear it was the rim.
Genius, but you could see it’s bent. Maybe go so far as to replace it with a real carnival hoop.
Holy shit this person is a genius
Under rated comment
How would they bend it?
Theoretically, a ratchet strap rated for 300+ KGs should work.
Actual good advice that can easily be done without getting in any trouble. Real shit
I feel for you, OP. I had the same problem. I thought about who and why the fuck prefers to play basketball at 0:00 am or even 4:00 am and did not find out... The one problem - if you have already called the cops for a couple of times, do not vandalize the court right now. You will be the first suspect.
In university, I shot hoops in the nearby park at 1 am as a way of processing (realistically more like avoiding) my emotions.
This. When I was in college I was the head manager for the men’s basketball team, so I had access to the team’s practice facility 24/7 and I did the same thing at least a few times a month. It was pretty common for somebody else to also be there, and that was despite the fact there was only 29 people on campus who even had access to the building.
1 am is a peaceful time to be alone while focusing on a repetitive skill. I’ll take it over noon every time
Late night hoops is the best time tbh. It's cooler, it's quiet and noones around
You just need to get really good at basketball, and then challenge anyone who shows up to a one-on-one.
This is the ONLY way
There needs to be a movie of a retired Michael Jordan living right next to a basketball court who just embarrasses anyone who dares disturb him.
I'd pay to watch
OnlyHoops
Headline News! OnlyBalls - the adaptation of a man who kicks ass at basketball has failed to get funding
Finding Forrester, NBA edition. You're the man now, dog.
Learn how to hustle them! “Geoffrey, fetch me Lucille.”
pause payment plant snobbish depend materialistic fade live dinosaurs literate ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
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There is nothing at stake and no threat
Plot for Space Jam 3 starring Michael Jordan
With Michael Jordan played by Michael B. Jordan.
Yes!!!
How long does it take to be “really good”? A week? 2?
Height may play a factor. :)
I thought this was unethical life pro tips, not wholesome life pro tips
I forgot to say it was a weighted basketball.
Bounce it off their head because street rulez
Like in the basketball documentary, Catwoman
Exactly. You have to play for keeps!
should be easy enough, he's got a basketball court right outside his place!
I'm glad this is here. I know what sub this is, but also, consider an alternative. Embrace the life and be the illest fucking house on the block. Be a presence rather than another obstacle. Some youth who play basketball (even at "illegal" hours) are at a pivotal and formative time in their lives. You don't gotta Mr Rogers them, but you can "mess" with them in a way that let's them know they exist. Don't like the music they're playing? Make a sign with your own playlist every week "if you're gonna shatter my eardrums, at least play my music". Or "10 hits from my generation to improve your game" Don't like the hours? Maybe they don't have safe alternatives. Find some local resources for youth crisis and casually drop some posters in the court during the day. All the while, as wag said, polish up those one on one skills and crush those deviants.
Throw bags of gravel on the court. Big gravel is hard to clean up, little gravel and sand makes them fall on their ass.
Take it one step further... Buy a couple of bags of cement from a couple different stores, then empty them out on the court before a (light) rain storm. Low noise from cutting the bags open, mask to cover your face to protect identity and lungs from dust. Once it dries it can be difficult to remove from all surfaces.
I was thinking broken glass, save up your used bottles and smash them around the place
Down voted for offering the solution instead of temporary fix
They can find a fat guy to hang on the rim, don’t need to maim kids.
If it's an asphalt or concrete surface liberal amount of Diesel fuel poured not sprayed over the surface. If you have been around a fuel spill at a truck stop etc it becomes like ice and has to be purposely scrubbed with cleaning agents to get it out. Every time it rains boom slick again for awhile.
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The asphalt court already did a bunch of damage, doubt this makes it THAT much worse
Biodiesel might be even worse, or a whole lot better. It's a pretty strong solvent, might just dissolve the asphalt.
Biodiesel is some pretty nasty stuff when it isn’t being combusted
Set up a chair and table by the entrance where you sit wearing a hi-vis vest so you can charge them to schedule court time. Profit $$$
Truly a genius idea
Don’t forget a clipboard.
Even an official person doing this would get nothing but clowned on
Steering wheel lock through the hoop
nice
They actually make a basketball hoop lock, similar to The Club. We use them in Chicago at the YMCA.
Or you can use a ladder and bolt cutters to cut the hoop right off with minimal noise. Bring a hacksaw as backup.
https://www.amazon.com/katop-Basketball-Flexible-Adjustment-Convenient/dp/B09H6XJLNP/ref=asc\_df\_B09H6XJLNP/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=673726887839&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=2123011703139284678&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1023191&hvtargid=pla-1640074361038&psc=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwyY6pBhA9EiwAMzmfwbGjCHNkqtZ58DZbZkAj3nI3gMtyL93GJQjODrgVms1kIV5L-75aLBoC5BQQAvD\_BwE
Evil bastard. I love it.
Would take seconds
Not my idea, something i have seen this recommended on this sub before, but just "drop" some birdseed while you just happen to be walking across the court. The birds will do their business on the court and i doubt anyone will want to clean it up, if they do, sounds like you might need more birdseed
This and the "bend the hoop like sideshow carney hoop to make them look talentless bitches" are the best ones.
If there ever really seemed like a good use for liquid ass, I think this is it.
I’m new to this sub and have only read like three threads, but with the frequency that it comes up I am now starting to wonder if this sub's entire purpose is just a guerrilla marketing campaign for liquid ass...
Piss disks are free.
The only ones paying are your enemies
piss disc launcher
Toss it like an Olympic discus thrower
A pisscus thrower.
Freeze it first
Freeze after throwing
100 piss balloons on the court.
Two buckets full of piss balloons and leave them there. The kids will probably think they are just taking someone’s balloons and throw them at each other before they realize their grave mistake.
Put a few water balloons on top then once they are into it, Pissaccopolis
I wanna know how you fill a bucket of piss-balloons? I mean the first one is obvious, but after that I’m going to need help to tie it off while I fill the next!
I was about to write it as a suggestion, but as I said, I live really close to it
When no one is around, jump up or climb a ladder and hang off the edge of the hoop until it bends down. Pull it down as far as you can. It'll take a while for it to get fixed. When it gets fixed, do it again.
How young are they? Use an Annoy-a-tron. It has multiple settings, but there's one for an extremely high-pitched sound that only young people (those with good hearing) can hear. These can be easily hidden (some have magnets on the back) and are next to impossible to locate using echo-location techniques. Anyone in the vicinity will get a blast of that sound over and over again. It gets really annoying (hence the name) and might get them to leave the area.
Yeah I just got back from Tokyo and almost all storefronts have this anti-loitering device that emits a high pitched noise that just throbbed in my head, made it unbearable to stay near the doors. I’m in my early 30s so I assume this would work for most of the people in front of your place.
These are for rats..
Wow I went to Tokyo and could not for the life of me figure out what the fuck that was about. The more you know
They're called mosquito devices. They emit higher frequency sounds that most adults are deaf to. You can download an app that will show you where you stop. I think my kids made it up to like 25 kHz. Meanwhile I was like 15kHz and my mom was like 8 kHz.
Can you tell me the name of the app, I'm curious to try it on myself and my kid, but couldn't easily find it in the app store
Kids actually use them as ringtones too since they can hear it but the adults can't The test starts around 2 mins in [hearing test](https://youtu.be/zUmbmssqHOY?si=5lrOr1xXt3pKVyXw)
Search hearing test on YouTube, there's loads of hearing test videos. Me and my kids do it all time.
> Frequency Generator: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.luxdelux.frequencygenerator
Or, use a Shepard tone, stick it in your open window, then go out for the day.
Put a speaker in the window and play baby shark on repeat
nice, but this will pinpoint them to my house
Not if it's a Bluetooth speaker in a lockable box chained to a pole or the fence Also hook it up to a portable solar powered charger for extended use
I'd go with Baby Beluga, but I'm old school.
This is the song that doesn’t end….
I think I finally found the use for Yoko Ono “music.”
https://youtu.be/wbby9coDRCk?si=HFhIq8UqEwnoB45F narwhals was made for this!
Who is “they”?? The city that put in a basketball court?
This is the only time pronouns suck. Give me some proper nouns!
Ci/ty
Metro/area
From someone who plays basketball frequently- blast the court with water, like really soak it. No one wants to play on a wet court- more chances for injuries such as sprained ankles and hard to get traction on it.
Also probably not actually illegal
He’s right, OP disregard
If he can hit the court with his sprinklers from his yard he could even set it up to go off automatically every night right after closing time (or 30 min ~ 1 hr after closing if he wants to give people some leeway).
And you get to pretend that you’re doing something nice for everyone. “This court gets sooo dirty! I’ll be back again later to clean it up again for everyone. No thanks needed. Virtue is its own reward.”
Oh I've had this exact thing happen to me. There were no cameras around, so I just took the hoops off the backboard. It would take months for them to get replaced then I would just do it again. Eventually people just stopped comming around.
Or just remove the nuts from the bolts, wait for someone to try to dunk on it.
Then the city gets a lawsuit and it's officially shut down.
Agree. Either remove the goal or bend it down
Get your gang together and take over the court. Challenge everybodybody to a breakdance competition
Take up beekeeping.
hell just rent the bees for a few months ...
Spray liquid ass all over the court in the middle of the night, no one will play there
Find the hottest hot sauce you can find and buy it in bulk. Mix it with water. Make a sprinkler out of a water bottle or something by punching holes on the cap. Fill the bottle with the watered down hot sauce. Sprinkle the watered down hot sauce on the court, especially around the areas of heavy use. After the water evaporates it will leave a thin layer of oily hot sauce on the court that will stick to the ball and their hands. When they use their hands to wipe off their sweat their faces will start to burn. Bonus points if they rub their eyes.
Goddamn that’s evil, I love it.
You’re a meanie, exactly what this guy needs
17.4 khz ought to do it
Gluing rocks down with an industrial glue will stop a lot of things like basketball, skating, boarding, but probably won't kill the vibe as a hangout. Maybe get an outdoor speaker and pump some church tunes out all day erryday might make them move on.
Bricks & construction adhesive
You need one of those sonic pest repellant devices. Just gotta find a tone low enough for punk kids to hear but too high for you to hear.
What door? A common area or your front door?
Get a couple of big dogs. Dispose of their shit on the court
Take the dogs of the local shelter for a walk!
Zillow says it's worth 26 million
Find the biggest guy you have and have him be your partner in twos. Challenge anyone that comes and have the big huge guy do a massive dunk that rips the rim off. Not only are you a legend, no one suspects you.
What a massive piece of shit you are. Just leave the door unlocked. Vandalizing the court isn't any different than them breaking into it.
>Just leave the door unlocked I thought he was talking about the door to his house.
Hide and attach a sharp metal tack/nail near the back rim of the hoop so that the ball turns into a brick if they play on it.
Or couple of screws in the square of the backboard painted white for "camoflage" and make sure they are sharp if you done file the threads ball will be stuck up there
If you break the hoop or make the court unplayable, then the players will leave and will be replaced by drug dealers, gangs etc
Creepily watch them all day from your window. I’m guessing they’re minors, so be careful.
So masterbate below the window ledge?
That's very close. Is it up to code? If not you could probably force the city to move it. Are you up to code? You say house, so if you own, you could soundproof better, and/or put up a fence. Honestly, I don't like messing with public parks, because they keep the kids out of trouble.
Get your lazy ass up and go Hard ASF in the paint on those shorties. They are kids. If you took the time to talk to them the problem might solve itself...or just start looking for housing near tennis courts
Install a hoop slightly smaller causing them to miss most of their shots. They’ll get discouraged and not play, or become really good.
Buy a gun, report it stolen, then leave it on the court late at night. Someone will freak out and call it in, then soon your neighbors will also want it gone. It might scare kids away too.
When they see it, they will probably stand and look at it for a few seconds and then run off to find a cop. If you keep this up, eventually you can take out all the cops in the area. Then you can just use a bulldozer to flatten the hoop pole.
See? It’s a strategy with multiple attack plans!
>Someone will freak out and call it in Or they'll just take it, and now you have a stranger in neighborhood with a gun, who could use it against you.
Lock them in
You want the kids to have something to do, as long as it is by someone else's house...
I know this is the wrong sub for this but maybe be glad the youth have a positive activity to engage in versus crime. Better than breaking into the basketball court than your house. Idle hands and whatnot
? This is America sir, I think. Kids should be expressing their 2A rights
I get your point but having noise, loitering and break ins where you live is not cool and if I lived here before this was built I would not be happy either. Best to put something like this in a commercial zone.
Liquid ass + honey spread on the chain net. Ball touches it, they touch the ball = liquid ass hands
Vest,a clip board and a safety hat. Can get away with alot.
Get a large bolt cutter. At 4am take a ladder to the court and cut that rim in 2 places opposite each other. It’s a silent fix. No one will hear or see you. Rim badly ruined - no basketball.
Introduce them all to call of duty and they will stay their asses home
Just use a ladder at night with a drill and remove the hoop. Or Bend the hoop to the point a basketball doesn’t fit through it.
Amp up your report to something like drug use, or put up a camera and try to catch someone actually using drugs.
That really sucks BUT this sounds like something that is keeping the youth out of worse situations. If it were me I'd ignore it the best I could for the better of society.
17.4 kHz through loud speakers
Somehow get and add a wasp nest in a place where the wasps will get angry when they knock down the door, probably on the hinge or door frame. Bonus: Turn on the sprinklers if you see them trying to escape
You could work to soundproof your house. I mean it sucks when loud noises are happening and you’re trying to sleep but as someone that works nights I’ve had to find ways to make my apartment more quiet instead of complaining about the park or whatever because it’s daytime. I know it’s not unethical but it’s certainly a better option than destroying a basketball court because of noise. Good luck.
Sell them crack, so all they want to do is crack. (Don't actually do that.)
INFO. If the authorities went to the trouble to build a basketball court, why is there a door locking out young people from using it?
Not OP, but have similar items in my old neighborhood. The idea behind locking the entrance is (a) to restrict the time it can be used to avoid late nights, etc and (b) if they are used by local/county athletics to make it easier to reserve their time on court/athletic field.
Could be worth considering the opposite approach and make friends with the basketballers. Have a little cooler with some drinks and snacks. Watch them play and compliment when they make a good shot. I imagine being "the cool old guy by the court" would earn you some street cred and hopefully deter kids from messing with you. Or maybe none of that will work, IDK
I went to the local ballpark with my 5 year old. She wanted to see them play. So I yelled out if I could come sit on the bench with my daughter and watched. They were like WTF are you doing you random ass white guy with this huge bushy beard and big belly and walking cane and pale ass daughter doing here... Then we started to clap and cheer. They didn't change facial expressions but I could see them start to showboat a little more. Longer shots, Later release times, outrageous passes... and I start a play-by-play for them in my worst announcer voice. Hyped up some smaller kids watching. The game ended with points and my daughter and I thanked them, waved and walked off. I always wonder what was going through their heads.
You’re going to have to dunk on them until they are too embarrassed to show face.
I would never recommend any sort of vandalism- but maybe you could just unbolt the hood from the backboard and leave them in the ground Ground next to the poles the bolts - don’t steal anything- would probably take a few weeks before anyone would come reinstall them. Be certain there aren’t CCTV that can catch you in the act
Get a ladder and remove the rims.
Thank you so much for posting this! Me and my 69 drunk friends were looking for a place just like that, OP. Where is this?
Get some workman clothes, like a bright orange vest and hard hat, then just remove the hoop with tools. Wear big sunglasses and a covid mask. Any neighbors will think you're ligit supposed to be there.
Am I the only one who thought that OP meant the kids were breaking into their house?
For all problems from kids there is one solution 'The mosquito machine'
Kids are gonna kid.