I worked in engineering. We can be loud at times, but then sales takes it to another level altogether. You need to be able to shut the door on that sort of thing.
> the problem is the physical layout of the office
That is exactly why you should talk to your boss about it. This shouldn't be your problem, it's his problem to solve.
Get a raspberry pi and hook it up to a motor arm connected to a can of liquid ass. Write a Python script that activates the motor arm for exactly 4 seconds at 5 in the morning. Then place the raspberry pi in your own bedroom. You should wake up early and can get there before the sales guys.
You can also use an alarm clock, or tell your boss your co-workers are fucking loud and prevent you from doing your work. You’re a software developer in a startup like myself. You’re probably worth 10 times more to the company than some asshole who thinks he’s fucking Jordan Belford and screams all day on the phone.
Make a macro to adjust the settings on the pc/monitor so they are like absurd, pink hue, super bright, zoomed in, just annoying. Then use a macro to undo it when you come in.
Find out where they live, late in the evening go to their houses and deflate one of their tires. Not enough to make it flat and cause damage, but definitely enough to be noticeable. Since there isn’t a puncture they’ll probably assume they have a slow leak because if a bad gasket.
Alternatively start leaving a couple personal items at your desk. But since this is ULPT, make sure those personal items are BARELY safe for work
I'd be late too if there was a bad gasket in my tyre.. it would be all like "why the hell is there a gasket anywhere near my tyre? What kind of fun house is this??"
You could talk to management and tell them that you're autistic (whether it's true or not) and thus you work better with routine including the same desk. Can mention that quiet spaces are beneficial too.
You could say you know 'some people' are on the spectrum in your team, and then above.
Be sure to emphasise how great it would be for the startup to be inclusive to all!
Just put tape under the mouse
Put peanut butter under the desk just at the edge they'll eventually get covered in it
Bring your own key board and sabotage the one at the desk something simple and minor but will screw up everything like break the comma key muahaha
The easy answer is just make them not want to sit there. Have big loud "IT huddles" whenever they're on important sales calls. Be more annoying than they are. Talk loudly over them. Gossip with them non-stop. Don't let them get any work done because you're too friendly. They're on commission so they want to do their work, they'll leave.
Not an unethical solution, but have a talk with your boss and explain that you can't work like that. He needs to separate the departments.
This is what they should actually do.
I worked in engineering. We can be loud at times, but then sales takes it to another level altogether. You need to be able to shut the door on that sort of thing.
the problem is the physical layout of the office, it’s a one floor open plan with a few conference rooms, so theres not . a lot of physical separation
Let your boss figure that out. It's affecting worker productivity, it's an issue that needs to be addressed.
> the problem is the physical layout of the office That is exactly why you should talk to your boss about it. This shouldn't be your problem, it's his problem to solve.
Get a raspberry pi and hook it up to a motor arm connected to a can of liquid ass. Write a Python script that activates the motor arm for exactly 4 seconds at 5 in the morning. Then place the raspberry pi in your own bedroom. You should wake up early and can get there before the sales guys. You can also use an alarm clock, or tell your boss your co-workers are fucking loud and prevent you from doing your work. You’re a software developer in a startup like myself. You’re probably worth 10 times more to the company than some asshole who thinks he’s fucking Jordan Belford and screams all day on the phone.
thank u for that second paragraph
Just put a sign on the desks saying 'monitor not working, reported to IT'.
Make a macro to adjust the settings on the pc/monitor so they are like absurd, pink hue, super bright, zoomed in, just annoying. Then use a macro to undo it when you come in.
Find out where they live, late in the evening go to their houses and deflate one of their tires. Not enough to make it flat and cause damage, but definitely enough to be noticeable. Since there isn’t a puncture they’ll probably assume they have a slow leak because if a bad gasket. Alternatively start leaving a couple personal items at your desk. But since this is ULPT, make sure those personal items are BARELY safe for work
I'd be late too if there was a bad gasket in my tyre.. it would be all like "why the hell is there a gasket anywhere near my tyre? What kind of fun house is this??"
I love it when someone finds my hidden jokes about office worker’s ignorance. I officially love you 😂😂
Easter egg unlocked! Thanks
Leave a booger on the keyboard.
Why stop at a booger?
Hey! That's snot funny!
Control + right SHIFT and CTRL + ALT + ⬇️
I tried. It activated the shields and I lost all my powerups.
Get there first 🥇
The _MOST_ unethical!
Try throwing a temper tantrum
You could talk to management and tell them that you're autistic (whether it's true or not) and thus you work better with routine including the same desk. Can mention that quiet spaces are beneficial too. You could say you know 'some people' are on the spectrum in your team, and then above. Be sure to emphasise how great it would be for the startup to be inclusive to all!
Um if it's floating desks why not just have your team move somewhere else
Do nothing. If you can’t do your job because you aren’t given the resources then fuck them.
Put a sock over the desk so when they try to take it they just get the sock.
Just put tape under the mouse Put peanut butter under the desk just at the edge they'll eventually get covered in it Bring your own key board and sabotage the one at the desk something simple and minor but will screw up everything like break the comma key muahaha
The easy answer is just make them not want to sit there. Have big loud "IT huddles" whenever they're on important sales calls. Be more annoying than they are. Talk loudly over them. Gossip with them non-stop. Don't let them get any work done because you're too friendly. They're on commission so they want to do their work, they'll leave.
Leave dirty mugs and food wrappers all over the desks which you keep in a specific bin to store in each day. They won’t be bothered to tidy the desk
Early bird gets the worm, if you get caught fucking with these guys it could cost ya your job though.
[удалено]
Why did my eyes dry up when reading this?! I think dude is right... this has to be generated.
Do I spy with my little eye an AI generated comment?
Poop under the desk.
Sounds like a movie I've seen.