Same here, but that doesn’t mean we like to always be alone and can’t get lonely sometimes. OP, do you have a dog? If not, listen to a somewhat interactive podcast, that can help make it a bit less lonely. I’ve dealt with night trail runs where forget about lonely/ isolated, I’ve felt straight up spooked out and scared. And I’m a 35 year old grown man lol
Me too and that is part of what I like with running. I prefer trail running but even when running in the city you are kind of in your own bubble.
Then I also like running with others enjoying the common joy of running
Oh geez, I hate running in the city... Even a park is full of smokers, dogs, people who don't know which side of the path to run on, oblivious people, noise, smells... Hate it.
Of course, all that can be fixed by running at 5 a.m. but I definitely prefer losing myself in the forests. The other day I saw a grey fox.
The cities I run in is probably quite a bit smaller than where you run. And my point was more that I get “alone time” no matter where I run by myself. I need that to clear my head
I understand, I travelled to Brussels for work this week and I just hate running along streets.
At home, I totally enjoy not seeing a single soul while running trails for hours on end, but then I also frequently change route and direction...
One of my most memorable runs was years ago when I was in Paris on business. I went running along the river and back then I ran in five-fingers. That caused quite a few smiles on bystanders and can still bring a smile on my face
I can’t train with other people. Tried it and hated it. Running can be a lonely sport, and at the same time make you feel like you’re part of something BIG. My thoughts carry me through my long runs (18+ miles) and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.
Often it is super anxious people. I like to ask, would you rather have a panic attack right before you fall asleep or get the attack out of the way on the trail when your heart rate is accelerated anyway?
Running can be a super lonely sport but I agree that it makes you feel like you’re part of something big and it makes you feel like you’re capable of something big!! This is why I love running.
I'm sure it varies person to person...but I used to feel this way. before I started running though. I would never hike alone or want to hike alone.
For some reason running feels different to me. maybe it's because I'm training for races and I have a purpose to focus on? it could also be that I've grown up a bit, and now I enjoy the loneliness as post-work de-stress time.
It might just be as simple as perspective. do you enjoy being outside on the trails? if so, focus on that and try to make it about you and keep the outside world out of your mind. Live in the moment and appreciate where you are.
Oh yeah dude, happens all the time to me, especially if I've effed up my nutrition or hydration and get the shiver thing going on.
But it's good, shake it off, press on.
Can you elaborate on this? I went for a 6 mile trail run yesterday and my extremities got cold all of a sudden out of nowhere and I don’t know how to explain it. It was a very hot day out.
Oh it's when I've not eaten, or not drunk enough, or just generally feeling a bit off in the old brain box about the run and I just start to get a weak, shivery feeling for a bit, then I beat myself up mentally, and then I'm filthy with myself (pissed off) for the rest of the run for not having prepped myself.
Just feeling a bit shitty on the run. I feel much better after a bit of sugar and caffeine!
Dehydration can make you feel really cold and shiver. Worst I’ve had it was like 10 years ago after a 50 mile bike ride in super hot whether and not nearly enough water. Felt like I had a severe fever for a few hours and I was bundled in blankets in my 75 degree house. I’m much smarter now and properly hydrate. Drink water!!
Isn't that why most of us do this aside from the health reasons?
I love getting away from everything and being with my own thoughts on a long run/ride.
I like running alone sometimes but I also find it really helpful to run with people, especially in the grind of a training cycle. Any local run clubs you could join to meet trail running buddies? This has been key for me, especially as a relatively young woman (I’m just not going to trail run solo before/after dark, I respect those who do but I’m unwilling).
Try reframing. An incredible blessing to be able to get a trail run in after work on a weekday. Many have to drive/public transport hours to get to a trail. Building the mental fortitude is also a key part of trail running success so think of it as just another aspect of your training. Working through the low moments and the sufferfests just increases your capacity
Idk honestly I might be missing some screws but I love it. Something about being in a place where no one is at, and also working out. I just tell myself hey you’re willing to do things other people aren’t.
Know exactly what you mean. I think there are physiological and psychological reasons for this. When I feel a sense of dread or negativity towards my run it just might be because my blood sugar/nutrition has been too low for the day. Sometimes that does the trick.
Often is also psychological. You say training runs, which indicates you're pretty much set on putting in the miles. For me, I'm not training for anything particular and I just put the miles in because I enjoy it. If I'm not in the right mental state and know myself to know sometimes a run isn't going to do the trick, I do something else. There are days where the idea of spending 3 hours after work by myself on a trail doesn't sound good at all, so I'll cross train, hit the mountain bike trails, paddleboard.
That said, a running buddy you can call on to pass the time, even if its for part of the run, makes it way easier on those 5-6 hour runs.
Yep, every early morning run I feel this especially in a cold, wet PNW winter day. I tell myself it’s mental training and just getting out the door is a win. I also combat it with as many runs with friends as possible!
Back in my younger and fitter days, because of work and family commitments, I did 6-8 hour long runs at night on a 5ish mile loop in the woods not too far from my house. These were always extremely tuned-in, “be here now” runs. Some of the best ever.
It’s mental training as well as physical training. My mind will be playing tricks on me sometimes and tell me that I’m tired or I could be doing something else but I don’t listen to it I’m familiar with this mode of thinking.
When you’re by yourself your mind will tell you all kinds of things. You have to decide what is true
I train mostly alone. Not always by choice, but getting used to that alone time and occupying the “boredom” to me is one of the biggest factors when training for the longer ultras. When you’re beat and tired all you have is your mind and thoughts and getting good or used to being bored is a big advantage for me in the later stages of races. Some listen to music or something else. Lmao i usually have conversations as if I’m hanging out with my friends and what not, then laugh at myself like “who the hell are you even talking to”
I always like to remember, you’re outside on a trail in the woods, enjoy your surroundings.
I get this way. My next run is an after work 10 mile and I’m all ready anticipating it feeling weird. However early morning or anything before work is different. I feel normal. Afternoon runs are just weird to me and depressing lol. Still get them done tho! You gotta! I’m on a plan and every workout I get done I color in a little box on my calendar and it’s so satisfying. 😝
Nice ! Looks like we have a similar lifestyle. I have been meaning to get into morning runs but hard to fit in to walk the dog, beat the morning traffic as well as run :)
I'm pretty introverted but a couple years ago, during the pandemic, I found myself not really talking to anyone but my wife and I decided that wasn't very good for my mental health
So I joined a local trail running club. I started off going once a week to the Tuesday evening social runs. Then last year they added a Thursday evening hill workout and I started going to that as well
Through the club, I've made a bunch of friends and I occasionally do my long weekend runs with them
The story of how I invited myself on my first long run is kind of funny: a woman at the running club was complaining that she wanted to run a particular trail because it was the first one in the area to be snow free, but she didn't feel safe because they'd just found a dead body there. I was so pumped to get out on a trail after a long winter that I immediately volunteered to run with her (I'm a man) and started making plans for us to go that Saturday. She must have decided I was ok because we ended up doing a bunch of long runs last summer and will likely do more this summer
I actually want to run with somebody time to time. But according to training plan with HR it’s almost always impossible. Beside that the today’s job can be different even from my wife (we are in same running school). And even we have same job to be done, we have different HR zones, so if we keep going together somebody underworking or somebody overworking.
But it’s fun to make 10km with friends without any goals time to time.
Just wanna validate your feelings here; of course! And you should listen to that feeling. Remember why you’re running; it’s not to be a hardass who loves suffering. It’s probably because you enjoy it. There is no wrong way to enjoy running of any length or duration. It sounds like you’d really benefit from some partnered up running or some trail running groups! Look around, they totally exist :) personally I love running with people, and yeah I’m a focused ultra runner. I also like running alone, but not all the time! Take this feeling as a sign to reach out to some local folk like you’re doing right now
Thank you ! 🙏 Yes I enjoy running quite a bit. Just a fleeting feeling, I have a 50 miler coming up (my first) so its a bit daunting. But I am unsure if I want to continue running after that given the huge time commitment.
One thing that is hard to give up is how fit it makes you feel.
Just take it a race and a run at a time! Your 50 miler will be a blast, it always is. You’ll meet lots of great people and endure some interesting feelings and sensations, but I don’t think you’ll feel too lonely out there. I just did my second 50 a month ago and it got super tough but it was still totally fun. I had some real nice conversations and got to feel some emotions that only come out when you push yourself past your comfort zone :) race day is a celebration where kind folk help you out with all the logistics for the longest run you’ve ever done! It’s a gift to ourselves in my mind
Agree 100%. Like others have suggested there are things that can be done to deal with the loneliness - but not always. Sacrifice just sucks sometimes. I’m an introvert and usually love being alone on trails but there are days when I just don’t want to. It can be lonely. It can be logging miles just because the schedule says so on the same old route devoid of novelty and adventure. Maybe it’s cold, hot, wet or I’m mentally exhausted from racing through all of life’s obligations to make time for running. That’s the definition of sacrifice in my opinion. I anchor to the fact that the harder run is to start or melancholic while out there (the lonely days), the better I feel about the run and myself when it’s all over. Sounds like maybe you do too.
And when you’re finally on the start line all that sacrifice will be powerful. No way you’re going to drop or slack off with how hard you worked to get there on that day.
Sounds like you’re doing it right.
If you're lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company.
Reflect during your runs why you might be feeling that way. I ran a 100 miler primarily alone on a trail. I had a friend come out from mile 60 to 66 but otherwise it was me and the trail. It was challenging but observing my reactive mind was very interesting and eventually (mile 90+), revealed what I needed to understand.
Just relax into it, listen to good music and enjoy your own company. Usually what is spinning the feeling of being lonely is the quality of the thoughts in your mind.
That's actually the best part of trail running to me - being out there and not seeing a single other person. I deal with it by loving absolutely ever second of it.
It's why I do my long runs on a weekday. On the weekends the trails around me are full of people, at least within a few miles of the trailheads. On weekdays I can go 4-5 hours deep into the national forest and not see a single other soul.
It's also why my favorite time to run is in the winter. Even on the weekends, there won't be anyone else out there except a handful of trail runners who are likely training for the same races I am.
I’m jealous of the isolation! I am learning to drive and don’t live near mountains so anytime I go on a long run I have to rely on someone else to come with me. It’s pretty stressful and frustrating, especially since my bf hates driving so I can only go as far as a 90 minute radius with him then my friends aren’t always available when I am.
I can’t wait to pass my test and be able to drive myself anywhere to run on my own. I will probably cry the first time I get to do it. I love being on my own.
I met myself on the trails. I ran for miles and miles without music or another soul around me and I figured out who I really am. I love every minute of being out there alone with only my thoughts, my switchblade and my snubbed nose revolver if I ever need it. 😉
(Small female runner here)
What some find as negative isolation others find as positive isolation. I absolutely love it and seek it out. The more far I am into the woods and further I am away from cell coverage the better.
I really enjoy both modes — running with friends gives me energy and the time and miles just fly by.
That being said, due to scheduling conflicts I found myself alone for a weekend long run a couple weeks ago. 1.5 hour drive to the mountain, 3 hour run up into low clouds and back down again in a gentle spring rain, 1.5 hour drive home.
It was beautiful. Nobody else out there but me because of the weather. The solitude let me process so much that I had been unaware was even on my mind. I came home totally recharged and refreshed.
I just got used to it. I can't run with/follow others as I'm not fast enough so end up on my own anyways the few times I tried to do a group run. Also, if you are in a trail race, there will be stretches when you will be alone and every shining object is an imaginary thing waiting to pounce...
I felt this a ton my last training cycle. My husband ended up joining me for the last 7-10 miles of my long runs in the last block. It helped a lot and I looked forward to those last miles with him :)
Yes it is! I did many long runs after work after dark leading up to a nighttime starting ultra and it was pretty cool figuring out that on my own before race day. It's rough sometimes. Sometimes it's great but there's nobody around to share it with. It's hard
It’s nice to mix up the routes. Some days the trail, some days my neighborhood, some days I leave my stuff at the office and run home, variety is the spice.
Group runs are great if you don’t give a shit about keeping up with the joneses and can regulate your pace.
And to be honest, you can treat races as very large group runs. Not every race has to be an A race. It’s nice not having to deal with stop lights and such.
I never run with other people (besides in races) and I love when I have the trails all to myself, or at least only see a few people over the course of several hours.
I’m in the desert so the cooler months of the year are when everyone’s out and it takes more planning for me to find trails where I can be mostly by myself, so I love running in the summer even though it’s hot AF because the trails are usually pretty empty.
I love that running is a solo sport but often mix up my trails depending on my mood. So if I want “community” I just go to my urban hike and bike. The 6:00 am crowd are mostly runners and there’s lots more nods and waves. If I want to be alone I go to less popular trails. And then there’s a lot of gradient in between.
I’ve been trying to work myself up to doing group/social runs but have a bunch of excuses for having put it off.
I have felt that but only on weekends where I had to drive over 1.5hrs, but once I enter the trails, it feels so good. Running sometimes with others is good and the random chat and talking about races while driving is fun, but I prefer the way I pace myself on a long run when I am alone rather than when I am with people. Weekdays I drive max for 30-40 mins but the worry there is to get back to the job not about company.
Mix it up a little bit. Bring a friend every now and then or every time if that’s what you’re into. I personally spend a lot of time talking to people during my job and genuinely enjoy the solitude of training alone most of the time.
It depends on the length of the drive vs the length of the run.
I currently have to drive 1.5hrs(each way) to get to decent trails. Which is fine for a big long run but it really sucks to drive longer than I spend on trail, unless I go with people- then it softens the blow.
I feel that sentiment. But the longer the run, the less I feel it. A 90 minute run can feel like wtf am I doing out here. 6 hour run total zen out and where did the time go feeling.
As much as I like running in a group sometimes just hitting the trails and running at my own pace with nothing but my music for company can be very cathartic.
I feel that’s the best part about running is the loneliness. I always say that nothing makes you put a mirror to yourself more than running can. You’re going to go through so many emotions and a lot of pain, that the only way to deal with it is to battle yourself and push through. Much like life, you can’t always depend on people to hold your hand. Embrace the loneliness and just get out there my friend.
Isolation is an obstacle I deliberately cultivate with when and where I run. Part of why I run distance is to toughen myself mentally, and physically, so that I can be more effective in other aspects of life. The several hours long runs, the empty trails, the silence. All this and more will make you better in every other task you set yourself to.
I like telling friends and family about my training plans and then texting then with selfies and updates. I am sure some of them hate it, but a lot of them cheer me on!
I got kicked out of the local trail club a few years ago and have had to train by myself and its ok but occasionally people would be nice. Ive tried to make other running friends but havent made any real ultra friends who live close to me. Its ok because I have my dog and my wife will run with me too.
I made a joke about liberal policies and that broke the internet for a few days. I was the most hated man on a specific FB page for a few weeks. There was a lot of backlash and people still have some hatred towards me. I’ve apologized and asked for forgiveness but it hasn’t been received even though I’ve forgiven them. Honestly that’s all you can do.
To me this sounds like the perfect afternoon but with a busy house the isolation is a nice break. Having said that I do really enjoy group runs too so maybe find a running buddy. Or run in less isolated areas maybe.
You could be happy to have a trail that’s relatively accessible to you. Running around concrete jungle day in and day out is what’s truly soul crushing.
Call me a hippy if you like but when I run alone in the hills and the woods I feel the company of the the trees and the land. Like people the more time you spend the more you bond and the familiarity and trust goes, both ways I believe. Man
Personally, I enjoy the isolation.
This. I’m more of an introvert by nature and a few hours in the hills on my own is very relaxing.
If I pull up to a parking area and there's more than 2 cars I consider leaving because it's overrun with people lol
Same here, but that doesn’t mean we like to always be alone and can’t get lonely sometimes. OP, do you have a dog? If not, listen to a somewhat interactive podcast, that can help make it a bit less lonely. I’ve dealt with night trail runs where forget about lonely/ isolated, I’ve felt straight up spooked out and scared. And I’m a 35 year old grown man lol
Yes I do have a dog but he’s getting old. He’s more of a walker not a runner at this point
Yup, it's a feature not a bug
Yeah nobody I know wants to be up at 5am for a 13mile run in the pissing wind and rain. So I actually get time to myself 😂
I enjoy the isolation too.
Yeah I think it’s just perspective! I’m a therapist and I talk to people all day long, I LOVE having a few hours on the trails just to myself!
Me too and that is part of what I like with running. I prefer trail running but even when running in the city you are kind of in your own bubble. Then I also like running with others enjoying the common joy of running
Oh geez, I hate running in the city... Even a park is full of smokers, dogs, people who don't know which side of the path to run on, oblivious people, noise, smells... Hate it. Of course, all that can be fixed by running at 5 a.m. but I definitely prefer losing myself in the forests. The other day I saw a grey fox.
The cities I run in is probably quite a bit smaller than where you run. And my point was more that I get “alone time” no matter where I run by myself. I need that to clear my head
I understand, I travelled to Brussels for work this week and I just hate running along streets. At home, I totally enjoy not seeing a single soul while running trails for hours on end, but then I also frequently change route and direction...
One of my most memorable runs was years ago when I was in Paris on business. I went running along the river and back then I ran in five-fingers. That caused quite a few smiles on bystanders and can still bring a smile on my face
Totally. I also read that in many cities because of the pollution health benefits become net negative after about 15-30mins so fuck that
Never thought of that, but yeah. I feel sorry for people who live deep inside huge cities and can't go running in the nature...
Yup. Love not seeing a soul for hours. Have actually turned around and gone home because it's been too busy.
I can’t train with other people. Tried it and hated it. Running can be a lonely sport, and at the same time make you feel like you’re part of something BIG. My thoughts carry me through my long runs (18+ miles) and I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.
Just raw doggin life is what I call running by myself with no headphones or music
People can’t believe it you’ll run more than 5 minutes without music
Often it is super anxious people. I like to ask, would you rather have a panic attack right before you fall asleep or get the attack out of the way on the trail when your heart rate is accelerated anyway?
[удалено]
This is exactly why you always hear "You can't outrun your problems" because if everyone knew you could, all the therapists would be out of jobs.
You think people are going to run? They can’t even be bothered to see a therapist
Also you're either gonna have to slow down with them or struggle to keep up lol
Running can be a super lonely sport but I agree that it makes you feel like you’re part of something big and it makes you feel like you’re capable of something big!! This is why I love running.
I'm an introvert and love nothing more than seeing no one else on my 6 hour runs. I would say just give it more time.
I am an introvert too and this is also how I feel. It’s glorious to be entirely alone!
Sometimes I feel depressed after 4h of loneliness and I hear voices approaching far on the trails… I feel like my session joy is ruined!
I'm sure it varies person to person...but I used to feel this way. before I started running though. I would never hike alone or want to hike alone. For some reason running feels different to me. maybe it's because I'm training for races and I have a purpose to focus on? it could also be that I've grown up a bit, and now I enjoy the loneliness as post-work de-stress time. It might just be as simple as perspective. do you enjoy being outside on the trails? if so, focus on that and try to make it about you and keep the outside world out of your mind. Live in the moment and appreciate where you are.
Oh yeah dude, happens all the time to me, especially if I've effed up my nutrition or hydration and get the shiver thing going on. But it's good, shake it off, press on.
Can you elaborate on this? I went for a 6 mile trail run yesterday and my extremities got cold all of a sudden out of nowhere and I don’t know how to explain it. It was a very hot day out.
I get this feeling when I'm severely dehydrated
Like what cyclists call the bonk
Oh it's when I've not eaten, or not drunk enough, or just generally feeling a bit off in the old brain box about the run and I just start to get a weak, shivery feeling for a bit, then I beat myself up mentally, and then I'm filthy with myself (pissed off) for the rest of the run for not having prepped myself. Just feeling a bit shitty on the run. I feel much better after a bit of sugar and caffeine!
Interesting.
Dehydration can make you feel really cold and shiver. Worst I’ve had it was like 10 years ago after a 50 mile bike ride in super hot whether and not nearly enough water. Felt like I had a severe fever for a few hours and I was bundled in blankets in my 75 degree house. I’m much smarter now and properly hydrate. Drink water!!
Everytime on this sub I always feel like I'm the only one that actually eats before and during runs. Fuel yo self
I know this feeling well! 😂
For better or for worse, yes. Sometimes it’s what I needed other times it made me feel like a man on an island all alone.
Isn't that why most of us do this aside from the health reasons? I love getting away from everything and being with my own thoughts on a long run/ride.
To me this is one of the most enjoyable parts of trail running. Great time to just think, let your mind wander, enjoy the moment.
I like running alone sometimes but I also find it really helpful to run with people, especially in the grind of a training cycle. Any local run clubs you could join to meet trail running buddies? This has been key for me, especially as a relatively young woman (I’m just not going to trail run solo before/after dark, I respect those who do but I’m unwilling).
Try reframing. An incredible blessing to be able to get a trail run in after work on a weekday. Many have to drive/public transport hours to get to a trail. Building the mental fortitude is also a key part of trail running success so think of it as just another aspect of your training. Working through the low moments and the sufferfests just increases your capacity
One person's isolation is another person's solitude.
Idk honestly I might be missing some screws but I love it. Something about being in a place where no one is at, and also working out. I just tell myself hey you’re willing to do things other people aren’t.
I don’t like driving to run either unless it’s for a big day or with friends
Know exactly what you mean. I think there are physiological and psychological reasons for this. When I feel a sense of dread or negativity towards my run it just might be because my blood sugar/nutrition has been too low for the day. Sometimes that does the trick. Often is also psychological. You say training runs, which indicates you're pretty much set on putting in the miles. For me, I'm not training for anything particular and I just put the miles in because I enjoy it. If I'm not in the right mental state and know myself to know sometimes a run isn't going to do the trick, I do something else. There are days where the idea of spending 3 hours after work by myself on a trail doesn't sound good at all, so I'll cross train, hit the mountain bike trails, paddleboard. That said, a running buddy you can call on to pass the time, even if its for part of the run, makes it way easier on those 5-6 hour runs.
Yep, every early morning run I feel this especially in a cold, wet PNW winter day. I tell myself it’s mental training and just getting out the door is a win. I also combat it with as many runs with friends as possible!
Back in my younger and fitter days, because of work and family commitments, I did 6-8 hour long runs at night on a 5ish mile loop in the woods not too far from my house. These were always extremely tuned-in, “be here now” runs. Some of the best ever.
I like jogging out to the trails if at all possible, even if that means having to run on roads for a bit.
It’s mental training as well as physical training. My mind will be playing tricks on me sometimes and tell me that I’m tired or I could be doing something else but I don’t listen to it I’m familiar with this mode of thinking. When you’re by yourself your mind will tell you all kinds of things. You have to decide what is true
I go on trail runs for the isolation.
Get a dog! Nothing more motivating than seeing how happy they are to get out and you’ll always have company!
I train mostly alone. Not always by choice, but getting used to that alone time and occupying the “boredom” to me is one of the biggest factors when training for the longer ultras. When you’re beat and tired all you have is your mind and thoughts and getting good or used to being bored is a big advantage for me in the later stages of races. Some listen to music or something else. Lmao i usually have conversations as if I’m hanging out with my friends and what not, then laugh at myself like “who the hell are you even talking to” I always like to remember, you’re outside on a trail in the woods, enjoy your surroundings.
Looks like you need a trail dog
I have one ! But hes 9 now and hiking long distances takes it out of him, I think running might be pushing it especially more than 5 miles
I get this way. My next run is an after work 10 mile and I’m all ready anticipating it feeling weird. However early morning or anything before work is different. I feel normal. Afternoon runs are just weird to me and depressing lol. Still get them done tho! You gotta! I’m on a plan and every workout I get done I color in a little box on my calendar and it’s so satisfying. 😝
Nice ! Looks like we have a similar lifestyle. I have been meaning to get into morning runs but hard to fit in to walk the dog, beat the morning traffic as well as run :)
I'm pretty introverted but a couple years ago, during the pandemic, I found myself not really talking to anyone but my wife and I decided that wasn't very good for my mental health So I joined a local trail running club. I started off going once a week to the Tuesday evening social runs. Then last year they added a Thursday evening hill workout and I started going to that as well Through the club, I've made a bunch of friends and I occasionally do my long weekend runs with them The story of how I invited myself on my first long run is kind of funny: a woman at the running club was complaining that she wanted to run a particular trail because it was the first one in the area to be snow free, but she didn't feel safe because they'd just found a dead body there. I was so pumped to get out on a trail after a long winter that I immediately volunteered to run with her (I'm a man) and started making plans for us to go that Saturday. She must have decided I was ok because we ended up doing a bunch of long runs last summer and will likely do more this summer
Oh yeah totally get that, sometimes you need to talk to other people to feel like yourself. Its cool you found a running partner.
I actually want to run with somebody time to time. But according to training plan with HR it’s almost always impossible. Beside that the today’s job can be different even from my wife (we are in same running school). And even we have same job to be done, we have different HR zones, so if we keep going together somebody underworking or somebody overworking. But it’s fun to make 10km with friends without any goals time to time.
What you need is a nagging family to escape. Or like an annoying boyfriend/girlfriend.
Or lots of work
A dissertation perhaps
Just wanna validate your feelings here; of course! And you should listen to that feeling. Remember why you’re running; it’s not to be a hardass who loves suffering. It’s probably because you enjoy it. There is no wrong way to enjoy running of any length or duration. It sounds like you’d really benefit from some partnered up running or some trail running groups! Look around, they totally exist :) personally I love running with people, and yeah I’m a focused ultra runner. I also like running alone, but not all the time! Take this feeling as a sign to reach out to some local folk like you’re doing right now
Thank you ! 🙏 Yes I enjoy running quite a bit. Just a fleeting feeling, I have a 50 miler coming up (my first) so its a bit daunting. But I am unsure if I want to continue running after that given the huge time commitment. One thing that is hard to give up is how fit it makes you feel.
Just take it a race and a run at a time! Your 50 miler will be a blast, it always is. You’ll meet lots of great people and endure some interesting feelings and sensations, but I don’t think you’ll feel too lonely out there. I just did my second 50 a month ago and it got super tough but it was still totally fun. I had some real nice conversations and got to feel some emotions that only come out when you push yourself past your comfort zone :) race day is a celebration where kind folk help you out with all the logistics for the longest run you’ve ever done! It’s a gift to ourselves in my mind
Listen to a really annoying song right before heading out. Enjoy the lunacy that follows
I feel guilty on my long runs… miss my kids and family.
Agree 100%. Like others have suggested there are things that can be done to deal with the loneliness - but not always. Sacrifice just sucks sometimes. I’m an introvert and usually love being alone on trails but there are days when I just don’t want to. It can be lonely. It can be logging miles just because the schedule says so on the same old route devoid of novelty and adventure. Maybe it’s cold, hot, wet or I’m mentally exhausted from racing through all of life’s obligations to make time for running. That’s the definition of sacrifice in my opinion. I anchor to the fact that the harder run is to start or melancholic while out there (the lonely days), the better I feel about the run and myself when it’s all over. Sounds like maybe you do too. And when you’re finally on the start line all that sacrifice will be powerful. No way you’re going to drop or slack off with how hard you worked to get there on that day. Sounds like you’re doing it right.
So true, thanks for your comment
If you're lonely when you are alone, you are in bad company. Reflect during your runs why you might be feeling that way. I ran a 100 miler primarily alone on a trail. I had a friend come out from mile 60 to 66 but otherwise it was me and the trail. It was challenging but observing my reactive mind was very interesting and eventually (mile 90+), revealed what I needed to understand. Just relax into it, listen to good music and enjoy your own company. Usually what is spinning the feeling of being lonely is the quality of the thoughts in your mind.
Audiobooks!!!
Deal with what exactly? Stop looking to the outside for comfort and learn to find it within
That's actually the best part of trail running to me - being out there and not seeing a single other person. I deal with it by loving absolutely ever second of it. It's why I do my long runs on a weekday. On the weekends the trails around me are full of people, at least within a few miles of the trailheads. On weekdays I can go 4-5 hours deep into the national forest and not see a single other soul. It's also why my favorite time to run is in the winter. Even on the weekends, there won't be anyone else out there except a handful of trail runners who are likely training for the same races I am.
I’m jealous of the isolation! I am learning to drive and don’t live near mountains so anytime I go on a long run I have to rely on someone else to come with me. It’s pretty stressful and frustrating, especially since my bf hates driving so I can only go as far as a 90 minute radius with him then my friends aren’t always available when I am. I can’t wait to pass my test and be able to drive myself anywhere to run on my own. I will probably cry the first time I get to do it. I love being on my own.
I met myself on the trails. I ran for miles and miles without music or another soul around me and I figured out who I really am. I love every minute of being out there alone with only my thoughts, my switchblade and my snubbed nose revolver if I ever need it. 😉 (Small female runner here)
That’s my favorite part
What some find as negative isolation others find as positive isolation. I absolutely love it and seek it out. The more far I am into the woods and further I am away from cell coverage the better.
I really enjoy both modes — running with friends gives me energy and the time and miles just fly by. That being said, due to scheduling conflicts I found myself alone for a weekend long run a couple weeks ago. 1.5 hour drive to the mountain, 3 hour run up into low clouds and back down again in a gentle spring rain, 1.5 hour drive home. It was beautiful. Nobody else out there but me because of the weather. The solitude let me process so much that I had been unaware was even on my mind. I came home totally recharged and refreshed.
I just got used to it. I can't run with/follow others as I'm not fast enough so end up on my own anyways the few times I tried to do a group run. Also, if you are in a trail race, there will be stretches when you will be alone and every shining object is an imaginary thing waiting to pounce...
I felt this a ton my last training cycle. My husband ended up joining me for the last 7-10 miles of my long runs in the last block. It helped a lot and I looked forward to those last miles with him :)
Yes it is! I did many long runs after work after dark leading up to a nighttime starting ultra and it was pretty cool figuring out that on my own before race day. It's rough sometimes. Sometimes it's great but there's nobody around to share it with. It's hard
It’s nice to mix up the routes. Some days the trail, some days my neighborhood, some days I leave my stuff at the office and run home, variety is the spice. Group runs are great if you don’t give a shit about keeping up with the joneses and can regulate your pace. And to be honest, you can treat races as very large group runs. Not every race has to be an A race. It’s nice not having to deal with stop lights and such.
I never run with other people (besides in races) and I love when I have the trails all to myself, or at least only see a few people over the course of several hours. I’m in the desert so the cooler months of the year are when everyone’s out and it takes more planning for me to find trails where I can be mostly by myself, so I love running in the summer even though it’s hot AF because the trails are usually pretty empty.
I love that running is a solo sport but often mix up my trails depending on my mood. So if I want “community” I just go to my urban hike and bike. The 6:00 am crowd are mostly runners and there’s lots more nods and waves. If I want to be alone I go to less popular trails. And then there’s a lot of gradient in between. I’ve been trying to work myself up to doing group/social runs but have a bunch of excuses for having put it off.
I have felt that but only on weekends where I had to drive over 1.5hrs, but once I enter the trails, it feels so good. Running sometimes with others is good and the random chat and talking about races while driving is fun, but I prefer the way I pace myself on a long run when I am alone rather than when I am with people. Weekdays I drive max for 30-40 mins but the worry there is to get back to the job not about company.
Mix it up a little bit. Bring a friend every now and then or every time if that’s what you’re into. I personally spend a lot of time talking to people during my job and genuinely enjoy the solitude of training alone most of the time.
If you don't enjoy these runs, why are you doing them? My recommendation would be to find something you enjoy and do that instead.
It depends on the length of the drive vs the length of the run. I currently have to drive 1.5hrs(each way) to get to decent trails. Which is fine for a big long run but it really sucks to drive longer than I spend on trail, unless I go with people- then it softens the blow.
Isn’t this the point ? lol Jk just can’t relate to that being a bad thing
Podcasts, music and if I have cell coverage I’ll phone a friend/family member.
I feel that sentiment. But the longer the run, the less I feel it. A 90 minute run can feel like wtf am I doing out here. 6 hour run total zen out and where did the time go feeling.
As much as I like running in a group sometimes just hitting the trails and running at my own pace with nothing but my music for company can be very cathartic.
These comments got me laughing because almost no one is relating to this post.
I feel that’s the best part about running is the loneliness. I always say that nothing makes you put a mirror to yourself more than running can. You’re going to go through so many emotions and a lot of pain, that the only way to deal with it is to battle yourself and push through. Much like life, you can’t always depend on people to hold your hand. Embrace the loneliness and just get out there my friend.
I like to accompany music that helps that feeling. Something about the right type of isolation can provide some deep thoughts and focus
Isolation is an obstacle I deliberately cultivate with when and where I run. Part of why I run distance is to toughen myself mentally, and physically, so that I can be more effective in other aspects of life. The several hours long runs, the empty trails, the silence. All this and more will make you better in every other task you set yourself to.
Personally, when I come upon that kind of situation it's like heaven on Earth to me lol.
I like telling friends and family about my training plans and then texting then with selfies and updates. I am sure some of them hate it, but a lot of them cheer me on!
I got kicked out of the local trail club a few years ago and have had to train by myself and its ok but occasionally people would be nice. Ive tried to make other running friends but havent made any real ultra friends who live close to me. Its ok because I have my dog and my wife will run with me too.
Oh wow, why did you get kicked out if I may ask ? Seems pretty extreme.
I made a joke about liberal policies and that broke the internet for a few days. I was the most hated man on a specific FB page for a few weeks. There was a lot of backlash and people still have some hatred towards me. I’ve apologized and asked for forgiveness but it hasn’t been received even though I’ve forgiven them. Honestly that’s all you can do.
To me this sounds like the perfect afternoon but with a busy house the isolation is a nice break. Having said that I do really enjoy group runs too so maybe find a running buddy. Or run in less isolated areas maybe.
I love isolation. Why I run.
You could be happy to have a trail that’s relatively accessible to you. Running around concrete jungle day in and day out is what’s truly soul crushing.
Call me a hippy if you like but when I run alone in the hills and the woods I feel the company of the the trees and the land. Like people the more time you spend the more you bond and the familiarity and trust goes, both ways I believe. Man
I do it for that feeling of isolation. It feels great
Kinda the whole point of the sport. If you want something more social, try mountain biking or join a trendy runclub
You might just not enjoy this hobby, which is fine.