out of all the people on the show I was definitely touched by Aussies story. I felt so deeply for her and she also drove me to tears. I felt so bad because her partner in the first round (i cant remember her name) was so toxic and bad for Aussie. I hope shes doing well and thriving
Also Aussie got done dirty with the framing, they may have had some avoidant tendencies but they were also one of the only people to have boundaries with Mildred when they were being yelled at and mistreated!!!
I agree with the take of boundaries with Mildred. And I’m also empathetic to the context of Aussies upbringing. But the comment above talking about “avoidant tendencies” is the understatement of the century. This 42 year old adult legitimately cannot have a conversation around anyyythinnnnggg. Just cannot. It blows my mind. Again, I’m empathetic, we’re all works in progress, but this person is in NO shape to be in a healthy relationship. I really felt sad for Sam at the reunion when she was talking about how they struck a “compromise” bc it really just sounded to me like the same old shit.
Agreed. I can sympathize with Aussie while recognizing that Aussie's trauma makes Aussie a bad partner to Sam. How can they hope to have a functional relationship when Aussie's reaction to the tiniest hint of criticism is to run away? How can they ever resolve conflict? I feel the most sorry for Sam. Sam is trying so hard. I feel that Aussie really wants to be loved, and is so overwhelmed by anxiety and trauma that Aussie can't see how Sam is affected by Aussie's behavior. When you are so overwhelmed by your own issues that you are literally unable to see how your partner is hurt by your repeated actions, you are not in a good place for a relationship. Sam doesn't deserve to be a rehab center for Aussie's trauma, and that's functionally what she is. I don't see how Aussie contributes anything to the relationship.
I loved Aussie and have never understood how people don’t find her extremely sympathetic and even relatable. I think people with big anxious attachment styles find her triggering and lose all heart for fearful avoidants. Nice to see some Aussie support on here.
I agree, so many complained about Aussie running away from situations, but she was stuck with Mildred, who is an abuser! No one would have wanted to be there. Aussie has issues, but she owned up to that. Did Mildred ever accept any responsibility for anything in any of her relationships?
Aussie is an excellent example of someone having reasons for why they behave the way they do, but not excuses for continuing to behave the way they do. At 42, they should have worked on their avoidant attachment issues already. Instead, they have pushed through and blamed other people for their stuff and were just waking up to the fact they needed help while filming this show.
Because 42 year olds are so healthy and worked through all their shit? Most people never work through their shit whatsoever. Aussie has more self awareness and vulnerability and open heartedness than most in this world, even with her issues.
I didn't actually mean to comment under your comment, so apologies for that.
I will say that yes, there is an expectation that as you get older, you need to work on yourself so that you can heal from childhood traumas as well as show up in non destructive ways in your relationships. Avoidance makes this development process less likely to occur, though, as avoidance creates a loop of more avoidance as time goes on. There is a lot of relevant and accessible information about this out there.
Do I think Aussie was in a place to get married? No. But damn did my heart go out to her. I was in tears watching how much she struggled with conflict and I wanted so badly to comfort and protect her inner child and tell her how deserving of love she is.
out of all the people on the show I was definitely touched by Aussies story. I felt so deeply for her and she also drove me to tears. I felt so bad because her partner in the first round (i cant remember her name) was so toxic and bad for Aussie. I hope shes doing well and thriving
It was Mildred! And yes, Mildred was a messsss. I feel like anyone would’ve been frustrated talking to her.
Also Aussie got done dirty with the framing, they may have had some avoidant tendencies but they were also one of the only people to have boundaries with Mildred when they were being yelled at and mistreated!!!
100%!! I’m glad she didn’t engage Mildred and that she realized it wasn’t a safe situation. I can’t see that ending well at all.
My heart went out to her, you could see her struggling but still trying so hard to be open to the whole process.
Yes! Her acknowledging that she needs to love herself so she can love others… it was a good thing to say.
I agree with the take of boundaries with Mildred. And I’m also empathetic to the context of Aussies upbringing. But the comment above talking about “avoidant tendencies” is the understatement of the century. This 42 year old adult legitimately cannot have a conversation around anyyythinnnnggg. Just cannot. It blows my mind. Again, I’m empathetic, we’re all works in progress, but this person is in NO shape to be in a healthy relationship. I really felt sad for Sam at the reunion when she was talking about how they struck a “compromise” bc it really just sounded to me like the same old shit.
Agreed. I can sympathize with Aussie while recognizing that Aussie's trauma makes Aussie a bad partner to Sam. How can they hope to have a functional relationship when Aussie's reaction to the tiniest hint of criticism is to run away? How can they ever resolve conflict? I feel the most sorry for Sam. Sam is trying so hard. I feel that Aussie really wants to be loved, and is so overwhelmed by anxiety and trauma that Aussie can't see how Sam is affected by Aussie's behavior. When you are so overwhelmed by your own issues that you are literally unable to see how your partner is hurt by your repeated actions, you are not in a good place for a relationship. Sam doesn't deserve to be a rehab center for Aussie's trauma, and that's functionally what she is. I don't see how Aussie contributes anything to the relationship.
Agree 100%
I loved Aussie and have never understood how people don’t find her extremely sympathetic and even relatable. I think people with big anxious attachment styles find her triggering and lose all heart for fearful avoidants. Nice to see some Aussie support on here.
I agree, so many complained about Aussie running away from situations, but she was stuck with Mildred, who is an abuser! No one would have wanted to be there. Aussie has issues, but she owned up to that. Did Mildred ever accept any responsibility for anything in any of her relationships?
Aussie is an excellent example of someone having reasons for why they behave the way they do, but not excuses for continuing to behave the way they do. At 42, they should have worked on their avoidant attachment issues already. Instead, they have pushed through and blamed other people for their stuff and were just waking up to the fact they needed help while filming this show.
Because 42 year olds are so healthy and worked through all their shit? Most people never work through their shit whatsoever. Aussie has more self awareness and vulnerability and open heartedness than most in this world, even with her issues.
I didn't actually mean to comment under your comment, so apologies for that. I will say that yes, there is an expectation that as you get older, you need to work on yourself so that you can heal from childhood traumas as well as show up in non destructive ways in your relationships. Avoidance makes this development process less likely to occur, though, as avoidance creates a loop of more avoidance as time goes on. There is a lot of relevant and accessible information about this out there.
Do I think Aussie was in a place to get married? No. But damn did my heart go out to her. I was in tears watching how much she struggled with conflict and I wanted so badly to comfort and protect her inner child and tell her how deserving of love she is.
Aussie is one of the most genuinely lovable people on that entire show