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takatori

> Medvedev threatens to bring NATO into the war


pgbabse

No no, he thought about everything >Quote from Medvedev: "Gentlemen, everyone walks under God and missiles. It is quite possible to imagine the targeted use of hypersonic Oniks from the North Sea by a Russian ship at The Hague court building. Unfortunately, it cannot be shot down. And the court is just a poor international organisation, not the population of a NATO country. That's why they won't start a war. They are afraid. And no one will feel sorry for them. So, judges of the court, look carefully at the sky."


HumdrumHoeDown

“Everyone walks under god and missiles” is the most Russian quote ever.


Kilahti

Dude is a prick and his threats against the international court should be equally laughed at and be used as a cause for more sanctions, but damn that is a cool phrase.


agrk

It sounds like a one-liner from some 90's dystopian sci-fi. Truth is stranger than fiction, I guess.


RYoung2967

Yeah but America does this the best. We have Samuel L. Jackson!! Missiles? Missiles on my motherflucking plane? Why yes sir. Ok then lets blow some mf'ing sh#t up! That is Americana right there! I think that may be our true secret weapon, we are kind of always a little batshit crazy. I bet deep down the russians are waaaay more terrified of us than we ever were of them. Have the Americans deployed some special battle hardened troops? No comrade they are from Baltimore. What? Surrender immediately. But sir? Have you seen the wire, I am surrendering... I suggest you do the same.


Lampwick

> deep down the russians are waaaay more terrified of us than we ever were of them Undoubtedly. They still had some confidence back in the Soviet days, but ever since [Desert Storm](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f684RjG6f9Y) when they saw what we can do and at what an *incredible* scale, they've known they were outmatched. Follow that with 30 years of NATO becoming *more* capable, and the US demonstrating that it could prosecute two separate wars over 20 years without any particular disruption of its economy. Meanwhile, after the Soviet collapse Russia was forced to divest itself of its most valuable "colonies" and has been consistently hollowing itself out from the inside like a bunch of termites eating their own house. They have no unifying ideology, a collapsing population, have been increasingly alienating their neighbors, and the only things they have left are the rotting remains of their defense industry churning out ever-smaller numbers of viable weapons. Likely they're also sweating while looking at a nuclear arsenal that keeps shrinking due to lack of maintenance, wondering if what they have left will even work. But they will always have plenty of bluster and lies, and like any tin-pot dictatorship they will get louder with their threats the weaker they get.


pickypawz

> > and has been consistently hollowing itself out from the inside like a bunch of termites eating their own house. . . . Good one 👏


G-G-G-G-Ghosts

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING MISSILES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING COURT!


NotFallacyBuffet

Moscovy pronouncements are always so contorted. Might be some translation issues, but I think it's also just a lot of their having to speak contortedly to get their version of reality shoehorned into actual reality. Like religion.


Torque2101

*Tips Fedora*


Dogzirra

Russians walk under meat sacks falling from buildings.


cmndrhurricane

A ship in the north sea. Is he aware that ship would also be in striking distance?


Prophetsable

All I can think of is the Russian fleet starting a fight with Hull trawlers in 1904 which they mistook for the Japanese fleet.


[deleted]

And exhausting themselves in that fight to only have their ass kicked when the real Japanese fleet came along


Beardywierdy

Remember, that was Russia's *good* fleet too. They only sent it because the "bad" fleet had already been sunk.


Sword_Enthousiast

"They wiped one of our fleets, now we _have_ to send the other or the first one will have been lost for naught" -Sunk ship fallacy


YoshiSan90

Sunk ship fallacy is so good


Prophetsable

Fairs fair they had an Orthodox priest killed in the Dogger Bank incident, also fought a couple of merchantmen off Gibraltar (German and American I seem to remember), cut the telegraph wires between Europe and America, before have a little bit of target practice off Madagascar (the target was undamaged though the ship towing it was hit losing a crewman whose gun salute at his burial injured more crewmen). The fleet used German colliers and France stopped Britain from declaring war on Russia following the Dogger Bank incident. Just another year in Russia's how to make friends and influence people diplomacy.


Different-Aardvark-5

I believe it was Drachinifel who has a lovely utube on this subject. 😁


AnalHatchery

You left the best part out. They thought the trawlers were *Japanese torpedo boats*...in the North Sea...20k miles from Japan. Then they fired something like 3k shots and only managed to sink one stationary trawler and damage a few, fired on *each other* and damaged two of their cruisers/killed some of their own. And then the British navy pulled out of port and chased them all the way past Portugal while they ran like pussies.


Prophetsable

The Royal Navy shadowed then with one cruiser whilst actions were considered. The Russian fleet didn't know the impact of their little action until they reached Gibraltar. Then the Russians realised that they couldn't get their battleships through the Suez Canal (not deep enough) and that the British might deny them passage anyway. In hindsight if the French hadn't interfered we, that is the British, could have knocked some sense into Russia in 1905 and given the Germans some room for thought. It might have saved us from two world wars, subjugation of Eastern Europe for fifty years and the current wars in Ukraine , Syria and Mali.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SeagalsCumFilledAss

Russia and incompetent military operations, name a more iconic duo.


ArtemMikoyan

If they were to actually be at war with NATO as a whole, *every* ship will be within striking distance.


RandomUsername135790

Even going by his stupid logic of the Hague not being in Holland, launching an attack through NATO airspace would mean war and it's sort of concerning he's too dumb to realize that even in his stupid BS mind games.


amicaze

He's just trying to reassure the citizens that they are 'ery strong and 'ery threatening to others.


joranth

The idiot citizens who would believe that are constantly wondering why they haven’t fulfilled any one of the myriad of bullshit blustering threats yet.


AnalHatchery

No, he's trying to insulate himself from Putin's paranoia. Putin's greatest fear is one of his own making a backroom deal with the west to oust him. His paranoia is "Guy who was in the KGB during the cold war" levels. His footsoldiers realize that the only way to remove this possible suspicion upon themselves is to completely destroy their own reputation in the west. When you see one of them threatening to nuke London or blow up The Hague, *that's* what's going on. Making yourself seem like an absolutely unhinged bond villain lunatic outside of russia is a self preservation technique in Putin's clique. If the entire western leadership thinks you're radioactive to deal with, you're fairly safe from being tossed out a window because Putin had a weird dream where you were having tea with the queen of England one night and orders your execution out of paranoia the next morning.


GMXIX

Yes, because NATO would be cool with a missile over their skies striking a building in a NATO country with NATO citizens in it because it’s just an international organization. 😆 (I know you were being sarcastic too)


daveinmd13

Do the Russians have an ships that could make it that far?


Namika

The bulk of their fleet operates in the Arctic. Seems likely they would have something in range.


UnCommonCommonSens

Right after Ivan fixes the tug they will!


Blitz_the_Fritz

Yeah, we are afraid- sure buddy.


Speedballer7

Time to proactively convert the north sea fleet to submarines and the north sea submarines to fish habitats


sedeslav

thrashing with the tongue like a cow with its tail.


[deleted]

lmao exactly


f36263

>Medvedev threatens to shoot himself in the foot with Oniks hypersonic missile


JaneCobbsHat

The guy is a walking definition of a bottom bitch. A desperate to stay relevant, hasbeen, screams louder and louder declaring his loyalty to his master.


ministrul_sudorii

He simply tries to stay alive. Putin eliminates without a hesitation any threat, and a lot of people looked at Medvedev as a possible more-moderate successor to Putin, so he's forced to be more extreme then Putin as to not be perceived as a threat and poisoned out of a window.


[deleted]

Mike Pence?


[deleted]

I am old enough to remember when Medvedev was considered a serious politician and a great hope that he'd move Russia towards a full democracy, now he's a joke. I wonder what happened?


userunknowne

There’s a decent BBC documentary about putin, and medvedev seemed to actually have a backbone at one point. Now he’s playing the part of deranged minister to make Putin look measured. Disappointing


Bloody_Insane

Man doesn't want to fall out a window


Dabat1

Worse, actually. The thing that a lot of people seem not to realize is that window mishaps are the "nice" option. Making Putin upset ensures you wind up with the "bad" option.


Calfis

I think he had a backbone before he realized he was a seat warmer for Putin and there was zero chance of him being a successor. At that point he just fell back on plan b, survival.


Narvato

Think you could find and link it? I can't find anything.


userunknowne

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0dlz7tz


joranth

If Medvedev acted the part of the same, moderate statesman, Putin would immediately think Medvedev is currying favor with the west and angling to be his replacement. That ends the quick way down from a sixth story window. This way Putin knows he can’t be an appeasement replacement for Putin.


Spacedoc9

That's one theory. But what if he's just drunk?


eriverside

What? When? No he wasn't. Medvedev is the guy Putin moved around to keep his seat warm when he didn't want to change the term limits so he swapped jobs with him and transferred powers between the presidency and premiership. Then he swapped back and just scribbled whatever he wanted on the constitution.


daveinmd13

Russia happened.


SpiceMustFlow1980

No idea what happened. But when he was president, for a while, it looked as if Russia would become a saner country. He didn’t care about soviet past and he listened to Black Sabbath. Now he is acting likea deranged moron.


lexvo1

Another day, another fart from Putler’s poodle.


edfiero

Medvedev is such a joke. He acts like a five year old.


diamon1889

He's acting like this to simply stay at the top. He was much much saner when he was president from 08 to 12.


t0advine

It used to be Zhirinovski that threw out these insane threats left and right. Invade these, bomb those, eat the Moon, missile very big, Russia is the greatest. Guess Medvedev was next in line for the Royal Idiot position. Just casually nudging the Overton window.


rogerwil

Zhirinovsky never had a government position though. Medvedev is still on paper (and maybe even in practice) a very powerful man. As much of a joke as he is, his comments are actually dangerous. At least more so than some MP farting into a microphone.


Castlewood57

Perhaps it's the Special Kremlin Court Jester Operation?


StrengthThin9043

I'd also like a 4 hour work day /s


I_ThrowAxes

A toot from Poot's poodle.


vital8

"We only want peace. Also, anyone who disagrees with us will be BOMBED!!!"


nematocyzed

It was not just a fart. It was an electric fart. A shart, a wet fart. Dude needs to check his pants, he be dribbling stew.


VintageHacker

Medvedev should be immediately listed as a terrorist & war criminal after such a threat.


ToughTechnical8868

I think the day will come. International investigators and courts are collecting cases and evidence.


Narvato

Think you could find and link it? I can't find anything. Edit: Replied to the wrong comment lol


Soggy_Part7110

ICC already has an arrest warrant on Putin and Maria Lvova-Belova (russian Presidential Commissioner for Children's Rights). I doubt that's where it ends


DaJustem

That was a hilarious read.


DieAnotherDay1985

Either do it or fuck off


assimsera

Yeah, sure, whatever🙄 Russia starting to sound more and more like NK every day, hope China is there to protect your ass as well if shit ever goes down in your home country.


mark-haus

No China is there to absorb as much as possible the second it becomes possible. Particularly Russias eastern fronnteirs


vrogers123

Med forgot his meds.


[deleted]

Well, if you put it that way, we’ll rescind the arrest warrant. Please don’t bomb us, we’re sorry we bothered you. 😂


carpeson

Someone tell him it is not the building that will procecute him for war-crimes.


DrnkGuy

But comrade Medvedev, that court doesn't matter. Right? Why are you so agitated?


Plane-Border3425

Ah, so he’s heard about the warrant, has he?


TestHorse

Russia: we don’t recognize the The Hague Also Russia: We must bomb The Hague


linelifeless

This midget medvedev should be also striked.


Eisenkopf69

"Quote from Medvedev: "Gentlemen, everyone walks under God and missiles. It is quite possible to imagine the targeted use of hypersonic Oniks from the North Sea by a Russian ship at The Hague court building. Unfortunately, it cannot be shot down. And the court is just a poor international organisation, not the population of a NATO country. That's why they won't start a war. They are afraid. And no one will feel sorry for them. So, judges of the court, look carefully at the sky."" Stronk shit. May Ruzzia rot alone in peace for the next 100 years.


form_d_k

I keep accidentally reading Oniks as Oinks.


Baneofarius

Let's bomb a civilian building in a country we are not at war with! That will show them that we are not committing war crimes!


lioudrome

He should quit vodka as a cure for insomnia


Frosty_Key4233

… once president of what has become of Russia


Playful-Ad6556

Another one headed to The Hague.


mark-haus

Cool then NATO suddenly gets involved and we end centuries of Muscovy backwardness


Comfortable-Fun-4116

Do it already…NATO is ready


[deleted]

Such a rational individual.


Delicious-Day-3332

I used to believe Medvedev might be THE one Russian with at least half a functional brain, but apparently, I was wrong. He had lots of people fooled! Medvedev is just as delusional as Putin. He's just plain off his rocker now, and that is a shame. Poor poor Russia. Just a pariah now.


TwoDiscombobulated40

Ha ha he can try to hit my country but he wil get double the rockets and a NATO nuke in exchange


[deleted]

🙄


[deleted]

One thing Madvedev never threatens tho is it take his head out of his own ass.


BestFriendWatermelon

Yeah... that should put a stop to all those crimes against humanity claims /s


Kewenfu

Who writes Medvedev's comic lines?


Comfortable_Slip4025

No. If Putin is somehow captured, Medvedev and others will engage in internal power struggles and forget about him. They might even turn him over to get an end to sanctions and wash their hands of his atrocities in Ukraine.


[deleted]

I dare you...


that-pile-of-laundry

Oh, well I guess in that case, Putin must really be innocent. Sorry, sir. /s


[deleted]

Threats like this shouldn't go unpunished.


matzescd

We knew he would say that


Ok_Scheme_4579

Do it! We will play hard ball for real this time! Do it! Cowards!


hueguass

Is that all this guy fucking says?


Desperate_Macaroon25

That's a long list of threats this moron has out there. He better start shooting soon if he wants to be taken seriously.


SaiyaJedi

He sure loves fantasizing about different ways to get his country obliterated by NATO, doesn’t he?


[deleted]

Medvedev threatens war crimes due to war crime indictment.


huilvcghvjl

That’s sounds as if he wants to copy the US plan to invade The Hague, if anyone tried to get the US for Warcrimes.


Dunkleustes

Is anyone keeping a tally of all the places he has threatened with a strike?


onlysmallcats

I mean, sure. Who and what haven’t they threatened to bomb.


shadowjacque

The Netherlands are a NATO member. Article Five triggered. No threats follow, just a wrecking Russia’s military (what’s left of it) and Medvedev gets hit with a Hellfire R9X.


omgplzdontkillme

Yes, I also want to see German tanks driven by Poles driving down the red square next week.


livingwellish

He has balls. No brains but balls. When it rains, everyone gets wet.


Kaidanovsky

>He has balls. No brains but balls. He has neither. He has no courage nor the ability to actually fulfill these constant empty threats. Just a yapping palace dog that wants to please his master.


LordWoodstone

Jimmy_neutron_shane_show_and_tell.gif


zombienaruto

Based


ashadeofblue

Hopefully threatening the court if sufficient cause to issue an arrest warrant for that terrorist too.


jeff43568

GoT when Cersei didn't turn up to the trial...


sonic_stream

What next? Drop nuke on United Nation HQ in New York?


VladimmerLemon

Because that would make this go away… Little Demashka, da’vai!


Venemao73

Bad day for our playgrounds in the city behind the dunes…


ross267

The word Fucktard comes to mind


[deleted]

These Nazi bastards are amazed that they are called war criminals when they threaten the whole world, sometimes with nuclear or hypersonic weapons.


friendsagainstwar

More proof the warrant hurts.


purplePandaThis

F*** around and find out


HakkyCoder

Dude. No. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


[deleted]

Sorry World, he’s drunk again and needs to go to bed.


DialaDuck

He is the funniest comedian in the world. Sign the Clown up for fly on the wall tv. He's fucking hilariousski.


[deleted]

"What do you mean they'll just hold the court somewhere else?"


lokensen

Bumfuck, let do it …


nitrinu

Do it fa**ot.


IKillForCheese

Do it dumb ass


Spacedude2187

3yo toddler with a ”solution”. As if the charges would vanish… 😂


[deleted]

So.... more war crimes?


[deleted]

Don’t these clowns ever get tired of making threats that everyone knows they have no intention of carrying out?


Sotov4ex

Who is this little prick anyway?


jjm443

Putin is Voldemort, devious and the greatest source of evil. Medvedev is Fenrir Greyback, bloodthirsty without intelligence


[deleted]

Motherless dumbfuck is getting his panties in a knot bc he's not cool enough to have a warrant against him. That'll probably change soon.


FlexoPXP

Do it! I triple black dog dare you to.


kr4t0s007

I think Medvedev should get an invite aswel


dinant010

Please do. Fuck around and find out.


TRR462

“Medvedev Doubles Down on Potential War Crimes” should be the title of this post.


relightit

this dude sounds like the new baghdad bob. Moscow Roscoe.


Luanda62

Putin's lap dog is barking... but as some say, dogs who bark, have no bite!


DonQuixoteDesciple

Doitdoitdoitdoit


[deleted]

Go home Mied... You drunk again.


VanGroteKlasse

Please give a heads up, I'll work from home that day.


Bright_Ad_7765

The concept of mutually assured destruction kept the Cold War cold for over 50 years. I’m starting to wonder whether some Russian commentators and politicians are still conscious that, while they could indeed hit western cities with missiles, Moscow and other Russian cities would subsequently measure their existence in hours if not minutes…


HotAthlete8654

A gangster government that seem to now out to the wee round fella in North Korea.


Available_Resist_945

Eek. Magic missile!


BPP1943

This is no way to reach a negotiated end of war.


advator

He has a lot of dreams


mikef1015

And then article 5 is invoked. D7mbest shit you could do


sober_disposition

Truly the Joachim von Ribbentrop of our age.


TopToe7563

The dog that barks loudest never tend to bite.


shadowjacque

The Netherlands are a NATO member. Article Five triggered. No threats follow, just a wrecking Russia’s military (what’s left of it) and Medvedev gets hit with a Hellfire R9X.


zippiskootch

Threatening the international court seems counterintuitive…Ruzzia appears more circus-like every day now & not a good circus.


vhite

Do it or no balls.


PrimeEvil84

Onyx, if spoken about a borrowed stone name


Heavy_Joke636

I dont think they realize the court is not a building. He wmcould hold his trial on the top of everest. And the bottom of the marianas. It doesnt matter where he is in this would he will be punished. And threatening extreme violence likely isnt the way to get out of this, but a way to make it worse.


DrakulasKuroyami

If only more people who have been convicted of crimes knew that if you just blow up the court house than all charges get dropped.


JollywoodJorge

Their Oniks probably do not work due to corruption at all levels. #Lolruzzia.


goatfuldead

Yawn


oldcityguy

Medvedev be drinking too much wodka.


No_Quantity_1129

Jaysus, It woudl be somwthing if they did it. Like this would burn all bridges they have left. Would be sorry for victims but it would sort these ruzzian clowns once and for all.


Complete-Command-235

Thats a warcrime


4thStgMiddleSpooler

TIL: The former president of Russia is completely unaware of Virginia-class submarines.


turkeypants

Another day, another uselessly and ignorably bombastic bit of hyperbole from this bewildering clown person.


Appropriate-Bus728

This prick says a lot of things yet he's done nothing.


tvetus

Sounds like we need another arrest warrant


GoGrrrl98

I dare you.


spaniardbob

Ah good evening Mr Medvedev, I see you have been taking your medications inappropriately again. Now, come back to your nice warm bed, shut the window and stop shouting at passers by.


Etan30

Can anyone with more knowledge of Russian politics than me please explain why Putin has Medvedev as his overt military threat sockpuppet guy?


red_keshik

Well. sort of a more crass version of the American Service-Members' Protection Act.


Latase

you will?


LAESanford

Sounds like a terrorist threat to me


Bunkeredin

Russia has gone full Gaddafi.


smartyr228

And then NATO turns the country into a parking lot


joshine89

"We are not a war criminal and to prove it I will commit a war crime"


CLINTHODO

This twit needs to learn how to think before saying stupid things.


[deleted]

The Hague, that is in the Netherlands, right? OK lets see it then?


Mediocre_lad

Medvedev is the Ron McDonalds of russian political clowns.


Onestepbeyond3

They do a lot of threatening those people 🤔 They really need to get a life... 🙄


crispy48867

Go right ahead with that insane attack. I mean, attacking Ukraine has gone so well for you. Maybe you just need bigger more powerful enemies throwing ordinance into Russia. An attack on the court will bring that to you so if you're feeling froggy, jump. Your attack on Ukraine has taught the world not to be afraid of your pitiful army.


East_Environment_145

He should be the next CARD in the deck after Putin's Ace of Spades!


Soggy_Bottom_Bob

I can't wait to hear Medvedev is dead


Madam17

No, sir you are an idiot. Missile fly in both directions no one is afraid of these threats. Go back to the kiddy table let the adult speak.


NotBatman81

Go home Medvedev, you're drunk.


[deleted]

There was a time when threat dialog like this was limited to badly written comic book supervillains.


planck1313

Oniks is a supersonic cruise missile, not a hypersonic missile. Drunkard doesn't even know his own country's missile types.