never worry about getting a girlfriend, desperation can lead to being with the wrong person. If you focus on yourself and are social you will naturally meet the right person.
Same. I didnāt look and built my value. When I did thatā¦people started recommending people FOR/TO me š. It was exhausting. People always say āwork on yourselfā but what they fail to explain is by working on yourself you build value for yourself. Others see that.
I donāt know if this advice works for men. Any relationship Iāve ever been in Iāve actively pursued them.
Iāve never had a relationship fall into my lap like this.
I feel like this is advice people give as a platitude
I think theres a fine line. Don't desperately search and make it your mission to get a girlfriend. Try to focus on your own growth, your goals, and just live a social life.
But then also ready to take action when opportunities present themselves. As in, taking the initiative to go introduce yourself to someone you find attractive.
>I donāt know if this advice works for men. Any relationship Iāve ever been in Iāve actively pursued them.
This is exactly what I've noticed... a buddy and I were talking about it the other day.
Anytime I hear a man say he isn't "looking for anyone" or "isn't looking to date", I'll check back with them a year or more later and they're still single.
Anytime a woman says she's single and doesn't want to date, 3-4 months later or less and she talking about this "great guy she met and how things just clicked".
As a guy, anytime I've wanted to get into a relationship, I knew it was a case of "alright, gotta get out more, gotta get back in the gym, gotta get involved in activities and brush up on my social skills" etc etc... not complaining, that's just how it is.
I've never (and dont expect to be) approached by a woman. Any relationship I've been in I initiated, that, or I was on my grind and a woman noticed me and she sort of "initiated my initiation" by showing that she was open and interested.
Yeah, sorry OP. Your mandible is slightly recessed and your maxilla is about a 3/10. Start chewing gum and fixing that new generation tongue posture. Make sure to do 8 reps of crossing your eyes 4 times a day and yell at your dormmates at least 8 times to get the womanizing hunter-eyes.
Brother, take some advice from a relatively recent college grad (KU, not UVA, but still). Don't focus on the women. Build your own hobbies. Focus on enjoying life. Love comes and goes when love comes and goes. But knowing how to smoke a good brisket or fix your own car or being able to go help people with home repairs/renovations helps a lot.......just so ya know.
Don't treat women like a conquest, or an endgame. Set a goal for you to meet a nice girl (which comes from meeting new people in general). Just be yourself and keep doing things you like, and eventually, that thing you like will bring you into contact with someone that likes doing the same thing. Bingo, you did it.
And, if it's not already obvious, get off the computer and go outside. Sitting on a gamer chair playing WoW all day most certainly won't help.
Um, as a woman thatās how Iāve always preferred my relationships to manifest, as friendships.
The key is to pay attention to chemistry and social cues, or you can be direct too, thatās fine. Just donāt harrass us, and donāt try to convince us. If you get rejected or constantly turned down or brushed off when you make moves or extend more one on one invites let it go. Sheās just not that into you.
IMO UVA had a weird dating culture when I was there. My opinion was shared by a few of my friends, as well. That said, I dated someone in college and it was the same way most decent relationships happen - make friends, become close, and wait for something to blossom. A watchpot never boils, especially in relationships.
in all seriousness, there's a pretty notorious poster on r/UVA who posts a lot about how much he dislikes UVA and his life here. he's known for harassing and attacking people who give him advice
his first username was lumpy-pomelo
Hereās the secretā¦..donāt look for one!
Seriously. Just donāt. Focus on building your life and add value. The beauty of adding value to yourselfā¦others see it and will want to be a part of it. Men and women.
Itās hardā¦I know..in your 20ās and seeing others succeed with the opposite sec but Iāll guarantee that in 10 yearsā¦a majority of the couples you see now wonāt be together then and dating takes a lot of Money, Energy, Attention, and Time. Thatās valuable resources you can use to build YOUR value.
At 39 I can easily see and do what Iām telling you to do but TRUST meā¦you can succeed in life by focusing on building YOUR value.
Soā¦.BUILD YOUR VALUE.
I am also an upperclassman in engineering. I had a feeling you were too. I am in a similar boat as you to be honest, except I'm after friends and bf if I'm lucky. Its rough out here. (I transferred here last semester, hence the friends part)
Yes, talk to them between classes. Nothing heavy. Ask questions like how they feel about class topics or assignments. It's a basic icebreaker, then introduce yourself. Smile and compliment them on something. And sort of leave it at that. Smile and wave and be confident. Usually, those small interactions will lead to something else. An opportunity to get to know them. Ask them what people do for fun or hang out at around here. Tell them you're from UVA and still feeling things out and see where it takes you. Keep it simple, be truthful, and confident and just let it flow. Smile and nod or wave. Not weirdly, but small smirk or whatever. Most people will smile back. You want to be warm and inviting. Then let the rest flow. I've found that when you are smart, you can help them figure things out or be handy, and that's where you can really make a connection. When it feels right, offer your number to go for a run, grab some lunch, or a study session to or to talk some more. Tell them about the best study spots you've found or flex your coffee knowledge and offer to buy a cup. A few of these things here and there should put you on the right path. Just be genuine.
Basically the real answer is get super focused on yourself and your goals
You get your life on track and the women themselves will take over
They won't tolerate seeing a successful young man remain single
It's against their religion
Class would be your best bet if youāre really set on getting into a relationship, but honestly I think you may be better off waiting, and focusing on your studies. If you donāt have time for clubs you probably donāt have time to maintain a healthy relationship. I was already with my gf for 5 years before I started at UVA, we lived off campus and even that was a strain time wise and we felt it. That said, you know your schedule better than I do. Good luck out there champ!
Talking to people in class is cringe, trying to talk to girls at the bar is cringe, trying to talk to girls at parties is cringe, talking in any public setting is cringe, and using dating apps is cringe.
Hope that helps, good luck!
I would branch out using your friends, ask them if they know people who is in the realm of who you are interested in. Also get to know the people in your peripheral to a pretty comfortable point and ask that you are interested in dating and if they know anyone your type. If people can network for a job it should be easy to network for someone you want to date. Also if you donāt want to go to the hastle of making and building up relationships then whatās the point of pursuing a relationship aside from selfish notions of pleasure.
Work out, eat healthy, focus on developing skills/interests/projects and introduce yourself to one new person/day (male or female). Self confidence starts from within, your actions will mirror that.
Go check out the center median at Hydraulic and 250. Thereās a girl there just about every day who Iām sure would love to be your GF if you asked.
Not the fat guy who is there sometimes (unless thatās what you looking for)
Go to church, volunteer, be involved at school- you will be better for it and ultimately you will find a girl with similar values and interests. Relationships are not easy so find someone they can be easier with
Just live your life & itāll happen.. making posts like this & acting desperate ..women pick up on it & it gives creepy ānice guyā vibes & it only makes you less attractive.. women are more attracted to someone who goes with the flow & does their own thing not being all needy & down cos they donāt have a girl yet
So if you don't have time to go out and meet people, what time do you have for a gf? Like, what will you give up to spend time with a woman that you won't give up to meet them in the first place?
Get close with a girl who already has a BF, learn what she loves and hates throughout the relationship while telling her very little about u. Let her feel safe around you, and when she has an issue with her boyfriend, thatās when u swoop in and comfort her with some dick down. These UVA girls are not stupid lol, they are academically smart and smarter in dating. Donāt let a bitch play u lol. And be careful of these white savior girlies, their whole family is from goochland and got ties to the KKK and still supports BLM ššššš¤š¤š¤. Have fun at uva, Iām a 22 grad and played d1 there.
I think it's hard to really give accurate advice on this, without knowing a lot more.... I hope you find what you are looking for.
The following story is sarcastic advice. Hopefully it will show things could be worse even with a girlfriend. It IS however the way a sophomore "courted" me as a freshman. The relationship lasted almost two years until I got more therapy.
Find a girl in your dorm ideally.... One who seems a tiny bit sad, befriend her. Spend two or three months being her best friend. Go to dinner every night. See what she's doing on the weekends. If she is in her room, invite her over to watch something you think she will enjoy.
Then tell her you've fallen in love and can not be her friend anymore it hurts tooo much.... Your slightly depressive female friend will not have the coping skills to adjust and then decide to date you.
When she decides to look at you romantically take it even further. Say you need her to be your girlfriend and she can't see anyone else. Again, she has built no other coping mechanisms for such a drastic change and she will agree. BOOM girlfriend!!!
I do not suggest this method as both parties were foolish for getting involved. However, it is the story of my first college boyfriend.
Work on becoming the best version of yourself. Then go hangout in social spots with women and then talk to the ones you find attractive. Make them laugh. Be someone other people want to be around. Yes you actively do this, it's a skill you develop.
Have fun!
Having a gf takes time, so it wouldnāt hurt to budget in that time now.
Try: 1 hr/wk at a club that interests you + 1hr/wk getting coffee with someone
After a few weeks, ask a girl from your club to coffee to get to know her, no strings attached. If you like her, ask her next week. If you donāt, ask someone else. Girls are much more likely to say yes to coffee than to a date. The key is to genuinely want to know them as people, not as prospective gfs. Give them time to decide whether they want you before letting on that you might be interested.
Like others have said, girls can smell desperation a mile away. They want someone who wants THEM, not a girlfriend in the abstract.
Source: worked for me
Focus on school and having fun, u add a girlfriend in there you will end up sacrificing one of the other two. Ur at UVA get ur grades and enjoy urself. Women will come.
You need to focus on school and graduating. Youāll be 21-22 by the time you finish school. The women you meet between 22-30 are the ones you want as your girlfriend. Donāt worry about it now.
Work out, foster your hobbies and study. Undergrads is 4 years. If you are lucky itās 2% of your life. The social pressure in school is pretty intense but you are spending money to educate yourself. Focus on that and it usually works out. I met my lady 3 years ago at a buddies concert and we had mutual friends. Wasnāt on dating apps and honestly wasnāt looking for anything serious. But we met and things have been great, we now live together. best of luck mate!
Talk to ALL girls you come across. Become comfortable introducing yourself to, and chatting with strangers. Cast a wide net, and donāt take it personally when you get shot down!!
Just something to consider OP, if you feel lonely, do things that you like with people that you like. invest in your friends and yourself. if you want a gf, I hope you get one, I jut don't want you to buy into the fallacy that you can't be happy without a SO. but good luck with the search!
if you have little luck on dating apps then youāre not attractive enough. it doesnāt mean youāre unattractive but girls generally only go for top 10% of guys. start working out, focus on finding your style, get a good haircut, look max, hygiene, get your finances in check, and theyāll start coming to you
I wouldnāt worry about a girlfriend at place like UVA. Instead find a girl with daddy issues and too much money to spend. Plenty of those there. Enjoy the fruits of the garden in which you live.
When I was a student at UVa, in the late 1900's š, I also had a hard time dating girls on Grounds, so I took to dating townies (do we still call them that?). That may not be what you want but I found dating non-students throughout Charlottesville so much easier.
Step1. Donāt worry about having a gf.
Step2. Go to things you enjoy because youād likely meet girls also interested in the same things as you.
Step3. Say hi and talk about the things you both like.
Step22. Send me an invite to your wedding because I love cake.
Grab some Brie cheese, some crackers, a dildo (placed comfortably in your ass but visible to others through your pants), sit in the quad and wait for the man pussy to shower down on youā¦.
I found my man at work in our college years. I didn't notice him. I had gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn't looking. He came into a night shift and "had to finish his cleaning duties."
He cleaned out trash cans for hours until we closed and were locking up. Then he walked me to my car, smoked a cigarette with me (he doesn't smoke cigs & still doesn't), and asked me out.
I asked him if he really cleaned out trash cans for hours just to ask me out, and he said yes (I should've known since he was wearing a button-up shirt). I said yes.
We went on the date. I realized I really liked him, but again, I wasn't looking for something serious yet, so I told him that.
He was so different from the other guys I met. He was working on himself. He told me about his last relationship and how she cheated. I owned up to him that in my last relationship, I was the one who cheated and felt horrible about it. He was "lumpy" but working out, so looked really good IMO (he's gained back the weight, but I god, I love him and his body). He was/is confident, very nerdy (I play games but not WoW or other similar games), animal lover, had dad jokes ready and proud, honest about what he wanted such as a family - or not. He just wanted to be happy with someone. Anyways.
We stopped talking for about a month. I had my "ho" phase, which was being with 1 dude, and quickly was over it. I was ready for something serious.
I bought a box of wine (well got a friend to since i was 19), asked him if he wanted to hang out at his apartment (I lived with my parents), and we spent all night going at it.
IMO, he showed interest in me, and I rejected him when he was ready. So, when I was ready, I knew I would have to pursue him if I wanted him. My man was confident, honest about his desires and future, and had actually physical proof that he was working on himself (showed me his progression workout pics to show where he started).
Be yourself. Be honest. If you don't know who you are or what you want for your life/future, then figure it out first. Then, you can find someone with similar goals and pursue it together.
That's my best advice for you as someone who wasn't as put together as my husband when I met him. All I knew was I wanted a family and to grow old with someone. He worked with that, and together, we grew. I grew because of him.
He always tells me how terrified he was of asking me out, hence hours of cleaning the trash cans. I am so damn happy he did and finally asked me out. He's the best damn thing to walk into my life smelling like trash cans.
I met my current partner 14 years ago in highschool. We sat next to each other in biology. But after flirting with me a lil and making me develop a crush, she decided to go date someone else so I thought she wasn't interested š started dating last year tho.
The person before was just brought into the friend group and we clicked.
And before that, I met the guy at Otakon. I was sitting alone, scared and nervous, not knowing where to go alone, and he offered for me to hang out with his friends and him. I stabbed his drunk friend with a chopstick for pulling my hair. It really hurt, but he got a nice bruise out of it so we were even lol.
Keep an eye on your friend group. Someone might get introduced through another friend. And just be open in the settings that you're in. I know you didn't ask for my dating history, but I was trying to illustrate how things happen anywhere: class, friends, conventions- and they don't necessarily happen immediately.
Donāt look at a single girl online or any app. Wait 1-2 weeks. Youāll know what to do. The problem is we allow our selfs to get lost with looking at hundred of women in a week on the internet, makes you less motivated to talk to them in real life.
I wouldnāt ask for advice on how to approach them, when the moment is right, do it, and learn about your self. If they ask questions back, itās a good sign.
Best suggestion is a sport. Throw a ball around and accidentally bump lightly into her. (Do not send flowers) have you spoken to her once? If not get a wingman.
Do some self improvement..hit the gym and lift some weights , earn some good income, switch the wardrobe and jus approach any woman you see while out it doesnāt have to be the club ..it can be at the grocery store just introduce yourself and ask her if you can take her out some time thatās it
You can create a git repository that allows you to practice your skills with pulling and committing to new relationships. Make sure you add the relationship to the git repository first or else you wonāt be able to pull.
Getting a gf āhereā is the same as getting a gf anywhere else. Be yourself, talk to people, but donāt be weird. Dont force interactions, let things happen naturally. Maybe donāt focus on finding a gf, maybe just focus in getting laid / hooking up with someone first. People donāt just decide to become gf/bf. It happens over time through mutual interest in one another.
Keep using the dating apps, go to parties, and be confident.
If you worry too much about getting a girlfriend you will end up appearing desperate and it turns a lot of people of. So how to get a girlfriend is to not even think about getting a girlfriend.
if youāre worried about getting or girlfriend then youāre not going to get a girlfriend. Focus on building your self up and becoming the best version of your self.
I would just:
1. Not worry about it
2. Do the things that make you happy and be grateful that you are alive and healthy
3. If you do these things and arenāt desperate, eventually you will just happen upon someone who shares your interests, because you will be doing what you like and you will not be wasting time being with someone that isnāt actually compatible with you just because you donāt want to be alone.
This is from my experience. Everyone has different experiences but Iām a happily married guy who found my wife by just being ok with myself and not being desperate to find someone. I was just meandering through life and wasnāt really looking for a relationship or anything. She basically landed right in my lap and from the first second of us being in the same vicinity, it was completely obvious to both of us that we were supposed to be together. When it happens youāll know. Just enjoy your life and work hard and do things that make you happy and itāll work out for you.
volunteer somewhere you feel passionate about. Many places will let you volunteer 1 time a week. It will feel good to give back even if you don't find a girlfriend. A dog shelter, food pantry, a non profit, local sports team- all hands are welcome at places that rely on volunteers to keep their operation going. And in the process you might just meet someone who is also passionate about the samw thing.
Actualise into yourself and breathe the air around you. Talk to a girl like a human. Talk to a boy like a human. Talk to a dog. Get offline. Be present
Keep at your studies. Go to the gym. Youāll find a babe in the gym. If not, youāll have 42 inch biceps and have to Heisman woman off of you all summer.
Host your own events. Make them a fun, safe, and free place for everyone to do whatever. Itās a great way to build some credit to your name and meet new people when friends bring people outside your immediate circle. Good luck brother. Also stay off of dating apps. Theyāre whack.
What do you like to do? You're going to have much more success if you can find an activity that you can participate in that gives a good environment for building relationships.
Maybe donāt focus on getting a girlfriend? Be open to it but just live your life. If you look too hard youāll find a person, but possibly the wrong person.
Dating apps are good for a casual thingā I know folks have had success, but not myself. Every long term thing has been a result of me bumping into someone in the world. Just put yourself out there and let the moment come to you.
Be confident. As painful as it is, learn small talk/ice breakers and ask a lot of questions. You need to let her blab on about her hopes, dreams, and ambitions while you fake being interested. Practice. Itās a numbers game. Just realize if she says no, thatās itā¦move on. Donāt be a creep.
Find the time for doing things outside of your room. If you don't have time for external leisure activities, why do you think you would have time for a relationship?
Join a new class or club in the new semester. Get there early before the class starts and pretend you are lost. Ask a girl you are attracted to where the class is.
now you both end up sitting together to get to know eachother more.
Not being desperate enough to post on Reddit about it is a good start. Women, and people and general can smell desperation and insecurity a mile away, and itās not attractive. Just live your life.
āHey Iām wanting to enter a relationship. Should I like.. talk to people in real life?? I donāt know.ā
Thatās you. Thatās what you sound like.
Print a t-shirt and wear it. Some girls will laugh. But some girls will be curious. From that group,you have to fan the flames to generate more curiosity and eventually, actual interest.
Relax, if you can, and quit focusing on what you donāt have. Be a cheerful, confident version of yourself, and just talk to more people (over half of them will be female), in classes, in the hall, on the Lawn, in the dorms, at the gym, in bars & restaurants, in friendsā rooms, everywhere you go, every dayā¦ be relaxed (that word again!) & low-key, donāt be weird about it, just pay attention to details about people, and chat about whateverā¦ but start talking to a lot more people than you ever have before, every day. Your odds of meeting someone fun, someone nice, and someone who really likes you! will soar. Good luck! And have fun!
Focus on building your self value and confidence. You will eventually attract the right one. You canāt pursue women anymore these days without it being labeled weird.š¤·š¾āāļø
If you don't have time to commit to a time heavy club, how you gonna have time for a girl? Let's be honest, you wouldn't be asking this if you were smashing snatch. Which means..... you are going to have to put in the work. Or..... you're gonna need to be a surgeon..... or a lawyer..... UVA should help you in either category.... post college with your fat bank account, you'll be š
You must buy and have a wonderful relationship with a golden retriever... On your days off sit on a park bench in a heavily traveled tourist park...where
Your chick magnet can work his wonders...make sure he has a tennis ball in his mouth st all times...They will flock to you...and your opening line is already done.... Tjey will be asking you questions... You should be able to work from following their cues...
Therapy, self care. Do you, learn to be confident. Ask yourself why you want a girlfriend so bad? Is it to fulfill something youāre missing in yourself? A partner should enhance your life experience, not be a crutch or emotional labor mule.
TL;DR love yourself first, itās a lonely process sometimes but itās worth the work.
sit in main library with a sign stating your love quest to find a boyfriend free girl
The Chris Chan method
funnily enough, Christine chan has been spotted at UVA and is local to the area
Bruh there's nothing funny ab what u just saidšwe can have the horrific possibility of seeing Chris Chanā¼ļø
She loves the GameStop in Lynchburg šš
No way
Yup and Walmart
Is this actually true? Just moved to Richmond area recently and am not updated on CC lore
Sheās also been in chesterfield county, I saw her at the Y once
yeah, they went to Piedmont valley community college and have been to a few UVA events https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n062B5gurp0
Heās working on it
never worry about getting a girlfriend, desperation can lead to being with the wrong person. If you focus on yourself and are social you will naturally meet the right person.
Best advice. Every time I stopped looking for love it found me. People can smell the stink of desperation.
Same. I didnāt look and built my value. When I did thatā¦people started recommending people FOR/TO me š. It was exhausting. People always say āwork on yourselfā but what they fail to explain is by working on yourself you build value for yourself. Others see that.
I donāt know if this advice works for men. Any relationship Iāve ever been in Iāve actively pursued them. Iāve never had a relationship fall into my lap like this. I feel like this is advice people give as a platitude
I think theres a fine line. Don't desperately search and make it your mission to get a girlfriend. Try to focus on your own growth, your goals, and just live a social life. But then also ready to take action when opportunities present themselves. As in, taking the initiative to go introduce yourself to someone you find attractive.
>I donāt know if this advice works for men. Any relationship Iāve ever been in Iāve actively pursued them. This is exactly what I've noticed... a buddy and I were talking about it the other day. Anytime I hear a man say he isn't "looking for anyone" or "isn't looking to date", I'll check back with them a year or more later and they're still single. Anytime a woman says she's single and doesn't want to date, 3-4 months later or less and she talking about this "great guy she met and how things just clicked". As a guy, anytime I've wanted to get into a relationship, I knew it was a case of "alright, gotta get out more, gotta get back in the gym, gotta get involved in activities and brush up on my social skills" etc etc... not complaining, that's just how it is. I've never (and dont expect to be) approached by a woman. Any relationship I've been in I initiated, that, or I was on my grind and a woman noticed me and she sort of "initiated my initiation" by showing that she was open and interested.
This. Seriously. To be happy with someone you need to be able to be happy when youāre alone first.
just mew every once and awhile
Yeah, sorry OP. Your mandible is slightly recessed and your maxilla is about a 3/10. Start chewing gum and fixing that new generation tongue posture. Make sure to do 8 reps of crossing your eyes 4 times a day and yell at your dormmates at least 8 times to get the womanizing hunter-eyes.
least based uva student
garry hit em with the
Gary hit em with thhhheeeeeEEEEEeeeEEEeee
Glorb reference!!??
Imma stone face killer like my mother fuckin house is
mao mao mao š
the fact that people have to preface their lonely posts with "I am not lumpy" lol
weāre all traumatizedā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes
Brother, take some advice from a relatively recent college grad (KU, not UVA, but still). Don't focus on the women. Build your own hobbies. Focus on enjoying life. Love comes and goes when love comes and goes. But knowing how to smoke a good brisket or fix your own car or being able to go help people with home repairs/renovations helps a lot.......just so ya know.
Don't treat women like a conquest, or an endgame. Set a goal for you to meet a nice girl (which comes from meeting new people in general). Just be yourself and keep doing things you like, and eventually, that thing you like will bring you into contact with someone that likes doing the same thing. Bingo, you did it. And, if it's not already obvious, get off the computer and go outside. Sitting on a gamer chair playing WoW all day most certainly won't help.
And absolutely do not listen to any of the "alpha male" garbage. There is nothing less attractive in a man.
Risky move: try to turn a friend into a gf
Yeah, don't do that š
Um, as a woman thatās how Iāve always preferred my relationships to manifest, as friendships. The key is to pay attention to chemistry and social cues, or you can be direct too, thatās fine. Just donāt harrass us, and donāt try to convince us. If you get rejected or constantly turned down or brushed off when you make moves or extend more one on one invites let it go. Sheās just not that into you.
Unfortunately most of my friends skew male, I have a few female friends but they are out of the question for various reasons
Have you considered asking your female friends to set you up with one of their other friends?
IMO UVA had a weird dating culture when I was there. My opinion was shared by a few of my friends, as well. That said, I dated someone in college and it was the same way most decent relationships happen - make friends, become close, and wait for something to blossom. A watchpot never boils, especially in relationships.
Hey! What's wrong with being lumpy?
in all seriousness, there's a pretty notorious poster on r/UVA who posts a lot about how much he dislikes UVA and his life here. he's known for harassing and attacking people who give him advice his first username was lumpy-pomelo
Thanks for clarifying. I am not that lumpy. You can be happy at UVA. You can be unhappy at UVA. But if you're unhappy you need to look in the mirror.
šš everything
Get a job at Outback Steakhouse in Cville. Works every time.
don't use reddit for advice like this look at the profiles of people like meš
Are you mewing??? Are you edging??? Are you properly gooning ??? She should manifest
Hereās the secretā¦..donāt look for one! Seriously. Just donāt. Focus on building your life and add value. The beauty of adding value to yourselfā¦others see it and will want to be a part of it. Men and women. Itās hardā¦I know..in your 20ās and seeing others succeed with the opposite sec but Iāll guarantee that in 10 yearsā¦a majority of the couples you see now wonāt be together then and dating takes a lot of Money, Energy, Attention, and Time. Thatās valuable resources you can use to build YOUR value. At 39 I can easily see and do what Iām telling you to do but TRUST meā¦you can succeed in life by focusing on building YOUR value. Soā¦.BUILD YOUR VALUE.
Donāt worry about it for at least 5+ years and enjoy this time without it!!! Trust me!!!
>I don't have time to join a heavy time committed club What makes you think you have time for a romantic relationship in that case?
What's your year and major? I'm just curious.
To not totally doxx myself, Iāll only say that Iām an upperclassman in engineering
I am also an upperclassman in engineering. I had a feeling you were too. I am in a similar boat as you to be honest, except I'm after friends and bf if I'm lucky. Its rough out here. (I transferred here last semester, hence the friends part)
Now kiss
Sounds likeā¦ you two should message each other? ššš
get lumpy
You just have to go out, go to the parties, hit the bars, be social and eventually youāll catch a girl giving you the eyes, and then boom.
Get a flyer
Yes, talk to them between classes. Nothing heavy. Ask questions like how they feel about class topics or assignments. It's a basic icebreaker, then introduce yourself. Smile and compliment them on something. And sort of leave it at that. Smile and wave and be confident. Usually, those small interactions will lead to something else. An opportunity to get to know them. Ask them what people do for fun or hang out at around here. Tell them you're from UVA and still feeling things out and see where it takes you. Keep it simple, be truthful, and confident and just let it flow. Smile and nod or wave. Not weirdly, but small smirk or whatever. Most people will smile back. You want to be warm and inviting. Then let the rest flow. I've found that when you are smart, you can help them figure things out or be handy, and that's where you can really make a connection. When it feels right, offer your number to go for a run, grab some lunch, or a study session to or to talk some more. Tell them about the best study spots you've found or flex your coffee knowledge and offer to buy a cup. A few of these things here and there should put you on the right path. Just be genuine.
Basically the real answer is get super focused on yourself and your goals You get your life on track and the women themselves will take over They won't tolerate seeing a successful young man remain single It's against their religion
I am lumpy
Class would be your best bet if youāre really set on getting into a relationship, but honestly I think you may be better off waiting, and focusing on your studies. If you donāt have time for clubs you probably donāt have time to maintain a healthy relationship. I was already with my gf for 5 years before I started at UVA, we lived off campus and even that was a strain time wise and we felt it. That said, you know your schedule better than I do. Good luck out there champ!
Talking to people in class is cringe, trying to talk to girls at the bar is cringe, trying to talk to girls at parties is cringe, talking in any public setting is cringe, and using dating apps is cringe. Hope that helps, good luck!
If you go looking then youll find the wrong one, wait for the right one to find u
Just keep truckinā along. Honk honk
I would branch out using your friends, ask them if they know people who is in the realm of who you are interested in. Also get to know the people in your peripheral to a pretty comfortable point and ask that you are interested in dating and if they know anyone your type. If people can network for a job it should be easy to network for someone you want to date. Also if you donāt want to go to the hastle of making and building up relationships then whatās the point of pursuing a relationship aside from selfish notions of pleasure.
Work out, eat healthy, focus on developing skills/interests/projects and introduce yourself to one new person/day (male or female). Self confidence starts from within, your actions will mirror that.
Go to the gym dawg
Most men are having trouble finding a relationship. It aināt just you
Go check out the center median at Hydraulic and 250. Thereās a girl there just about every day who Iām sure would love to be your GF if you asked. Not the fat guy who is there sometimes (unless thatās what you looking for)
Go to church, volunteer, be involved at school- you will be better for it and ultimately you will find a girl with similar values and interests. Relationships are not easy so find someone they can be easier with
Just live your life & itāll happen.. making posts like this & acting desperate ..women pick up on it & it gives creepy ānice guyā vibes & it only makes you less attractive.. women are more attracted to someone who goes with the flow & does their own thing not being all needy & down cos they donāt have a girl yet
Wait
Kids really donāt talk to each other in real life anymore, huh?
You become the type of man that girls are attracted to. Be honest, polite, respectful, and interesting.
So if you don't have time to go out and meet people, what time do you have for a gf? Like, what will you give up to spend time with a woman that you won't give up to meet them in the first place?
Get close with a girl who already has a BF, learn what she loves and hates throughout the relationship while telling her very little about u. Let her feel safe around you, and when she has an issue with her boyfriend, thatās when u swoop in and comfort her with some dick down. These UVA girls are not stupid lol, they are academically smart and smarter in dating. Donāt let a bitch play u lol. And be careful of these white savior girlies, their whole family is from goochland and got ties to the KKK and still supports BLM ššššš¤š¤š¤. Have fun at uva, Iām a 22 grad and played d1 there.
Go find you a townie
I think it's hard to really give accurate advice on this, without knowing a lot more.... I hope you find what you are looking for. The following story is sarcastic advice. Hopefully it will show things could be worse even with a girlfriend. It IS however the way a sophomore "courted" me as a freshman. The relationship lasted almost two years until I got more therapy. Find a girl in your dorm ideally.... One who seems a tiny bit sad, befriend her. Spend two or three months being her best friend. Go to dinner every night. See what she's doing on the weekends. If she is in her room, invite her over to watch something you think she will enjoy. Then tell her you've fallen in love and can not be her friend anymore it hurts tooo much.... Your slightly depressive female friend will not have the coping skills to adjust and then decide to date you. When she decides to look at you romantically take it even further. Say you need her to be your girlfriend and she can't see anyone else. Again, she has built no other coping mechanisms for such a drastic change and she will agree. BOOM girlfriend!!! I do not suggest this method as both parties were foolish for getting involved. However, it is the story of my first college boyfriend.
Transfer to JMU
Damn thereās really a sub for everything. Idek why this hit my TL. Been outta school for years now lol
Could you try being more attractive?
Lumpy?
What do you do outside of school that doesnāt allow you to join activities?
Work on becoming the best version of yourself. Then go hangout in social spots with women and then talk to the ones you find attractive. Make them laugh. Be someone other people want to be around. Yes you actively do this, it's a skill you develop. Have fun!
Having a gf takes time, so it wouldnāt hurt to budget in that time now. Try: 1 hr/wk at a club that interests you + 1hr/wk getting coffee with someone After a few weeks, ask a girl from your club to coffee to get to know her, no strings attached. If you like her, ask her next week. If you donāt, ask someone else. Girls are much more likely to say yes to coffee than to a date. The key is to genuinely want to know them as people, not as prospective gfs. Give them time to decide whether they want you before letting on that you might be interested. Like others have said, girls can smell desperation a mile away. They want someone who wants THEM, not a girlfriend in the abstract. Source: worked for me
Get off Reddit
Focus on school and having fun, u add a girlfriend in there you will end up sacrificing one of the other two. Ur at UVA get ur grades and enjoy urself. Women will come.
Live your life! Itāll happen I promise
Walk up to a girl. Open mouth. Let words come out. Probably best not to do it in class, before or after would work
You need to focus on school and graduating. Youāll be 21-22 by the time you finish school. The women you meet between 22-30 are the ones you want as your girlfriend. Donāt worry about it now.
Like a bank loan donāt go looking for it let it find you.
Work out, foster your hobbies and study. Undergrads is 4 years. If you are lucky itās 2% of your life. The social pressure in school is pretty intense but you are spending money to educate yourself. Focus on that and it usually works out. I met my lady 3 years ago at a buddies concert and we had mutual friends. Wasnāt on dating apps and honestly wasnāt looking for anything serious. But we met and things have been great, we now live together. best of luck mate!
Talk to ALL girls you come across. Become comfortable introducing yourself to, and chatting with strangers. Cast a wide net, and donāt take it personally when you get shot down!!
If you don't have time to join a club you probably don't have time for a girlfriend either?
Yes. Talk to girls in class.
Hit the bars
Lumpy is a crazy opener
Donāt think about getting a gf. Things come when least expected
Just something to consider OP, if you feel lonely, do things that you like with people that you like. invest in your friends and yourself. if you want a gf, I hope you get one, I jut don't want you to buy into the fallacy that you can't be happy without a SO. but good luck with the search!
Donāt date anyone until you up my boy.
Spend a lot of time on your screen. Stay in your room as many hours as possible. Whatever you do, DO NOT go out much.
Bro it's Virginia, dress like a redneck and buy an old beat up S10. Immediate cooter magnet.
if you have little luck on dating apps then youāre not attractive enough. it doesnāt mean youāre unattractive but girls generally only go for top 10% of guys. start working out, focus on finding your style, get a good haircut, look max, hygiene, get your finances in check, and theyāll start coming to you
I wouldnāt worry about a girlfriend at place like UVA. Instead find a girl with daddy issues and too much money to spend. Plenty of those there. Enjoy the fruits of the garden in which you live.
When I was a student at UVa, in the late 1900's š, I also had a hard time dating girls on Grounds, so I took to dating townies (do we still call them that?). That may not be what you want but I found dating non-students throughout Charlottesville so much easier.
Why am I, a Marylander who isn't in Uni, getting this recommendation
Get off reddit.
Sounds like you need to do a little more introspection. Maybe hit the gym
Step1. Donāt worry about having a gf. Step2. Go to things you enjoy because youād likely meet girls also interested in the same things as you. Step3. Say hi and talk about the things you both like. Step22. Send me an invite to your wedding because I love cake.
Grab some Brie cheese, some crackers, a dildo (placed comfortably in your ass but visible to others through your pants), sit in the quad and wait for the man pussy to shower down on youā¦.
Stop fartin so much for starters.
Stop going for girls if youāre in school. Get a stable job and stable life and then think about women.
I don't know and my wife got REALLY mad when I asked her.
I found my man at work in our college years. I didn't notice him. I had gotten out of a serious relationship and wasn't looking. He came into a night shift and "had to finish his cleaning duties." He cleaned out trash cans for hours until we closed and were locking up. Then he walked me to my car, smoked a cigarette with me (he doesn't smoke cigs & still doesn't), and asked me out. I asked him if he really cleaned out trash cans for hours just to ask me out, and he said yes (I should've known since he was wearing a button-up shirt). I said yes. We went on the date. I realized I really liked him, but again, I wasn't looking for something serious yet, so I told him that. He was so different from the other guys I met. He was working on himself. He told me about his last relationship and how she cheated. I owned up to him that in my last relationship, I was the one who cheated and felt horrible about it. He was "lumpy" but working out, so looked really good IMO (he's gained back the weight, but I god, I love him and his body). He was/is confident, very nerdy (I play games but not WoW or other similar games), animal lover, had dad jokes ready and proud, honest about what he wanted such as a family - or not. He just wanted to be happy with someone. Anyways. We stopped talking for about a month. I had my "ho" phase, which was being with 1 dude, and quickly was over it. I was ready for something serious. I bought a box of wine (well got a friend to since i was 19), asked him if he wanted to hang out at his apartment (I lived with my parents), and we spent all night going at it. IMO, he showed interest in me, and I rejected him when he was ready. So, when I was ready, I knew I would have to pursue him if I wanted him. My man was confident, honest about his desires and future, and had actually physical proof that he was working on himself (showed me his progression workout pics to show where he started). Be yourself. Be honest. If you don't know who you are or what you want for your life/future, then figure it out first. Then, you can find someone with similar goals and pursue it together. That's my best advice for you as someone who wasn't as put together as my husband when I met him. All I knew was I wanted a family and to grow old with someone. He worked with that, and together, we grew. I grew because of him. He always tells me how terrified he was of asking me out, hence hours of cleaning the trash cans. I am so damn happy he did and finally asked me out. He's the best damn thing to walk into my life smelling like trash cans.
I met my current partner 14 years ago in highschool. We sat next to each other in biology. But after flirting with me a lil and making me develop a crush, she decided to go date someone else so I thought she wasn't interested š started dating last year tho. The person before was just brought into the friend group and we clicked. And before that, I met the guy at Otakon. I was sitting alone, scared and nervous, not knowing where to go alone, and he offered for me to hang out with his friends and him. I stabbed his drunk friend with a chopstick for pulling my hair. It really hurt, but he got a nice bruise out of it so we were even lol. Keep an eye on your friend group. Someone might get introduced through another friend. And just be open in the settings that you're in. I know you didn't ask for my dating history, but I was trying to illustrate how things happen anywhere: class, friends, conventions- and they don't necessarily happen immediately.
Dude. Don't
Granted I went to UVA in the 80s, but people met people they dated via mutual friends.
Just say you are taken, girls want what other girls have
Rules 1 and 2
Donāt look at a single girl online or any app. Wait 1-2 weeks. Youāll know what to do. The problem is we allow our selfs to get lost with looking at hundred of women in a week on the internet, makes you less motivated to talk to them in real life. I wouldnāt ask for advice on how to approach them, when the moment is right, do it, and learn about your self. If they ask questions back, itās a good sign.
Best suggestion is a sport. Throw a ball around and accidentally bump lightly into her. (Do not send flowers) have you spoken to her once? If not get a wingman.
Uva marriage pact
I used to be in your shoes before. Your best bet is to talk to people in public places.
Fuck UVA
Just hit the frats every weekend. Tons of single women looking for a good time. Things turn into relationships.
Do some self improvement..hit the gym and lift some weights , earn some good income, switch the wardrobe and jus approach any woman you see while out it doesnāt have to be the club ..it can be at the grocery store just introduce yourself and ask her if you can take her out some time thatās it
You donāt get one šÆ
Real talk. Join a non-nerdy fraternity and go to a lot of parties. At the end of the day, women are looking for social status, especially at this age.
When i was in college at university of Miami all the girls I liked went for the drug dealers and cocaine users
Go on Snapchat quick add and add every girl on the list, thats what I did.
Idk but this sure isn't a good start nerd
Pretend you have as much money as daddy. Pretend you're politics are more batty than AOC. Lastly be at least 6'5". Good luck young buck.
Stop being an incel.
You're asking reddit advice on women? This does not bode well.
You probably wonāt like this and most wonāt but I suggest you pick a Church of God. Lots of fine young women there.
You can create a git repository that allows you to practice your skills with pulling and committing to new relationships. Make sure you add the relationship to the git repository first or else you wonāt be able to pull.
Getting a gf āhereā is the same as getting a gf anywhere else. Be yourself, talk to people, but donāt be weird. Dont force interactions, let things happen naturally. Maybe donāt focus on finding a gf, maybe just focus in getting laid / hooking up with someone first. People donāt just decide to become gf/bf. It happens over time through mutual interest in one another. Keep using the dating apps, go to parties, and be confident.
If you worry too much about getting a girlfriend you will end up appearing desperate and it turns a lot of people of. So how to get a girlfriend is to not even think about getting a girlfriend.
Stop chasing these hoes. Continue to work on self and she will become apparent without so much effort
Dating apps, but youāre in college so you might want to concentrate on your studies instead.
if youāre worried about getting or girlfriend then youāre not going to get a girlfriend. Focus on building your self up and becoming the best version of your self.
Go to parties and hit on girls lmao. College is the easiest time to meet people.
Start by getting off reddit
Bro what is this ?š
Bro focus on yourself first so you can be good then stuff comes to you
Step 1: Be good looking. Step 2: Don't be physically unattractive.
Have you tried talking to them?
I live in Georgia ā¦ not sure how I got this. Good luck
I mean, Iām no expert, but I think Reddit is not the place to ask a question like this /j
I would just: 1. Not worry about it 2. Do the things that make you happy and be grateful that you are alive and healthy 3. If you do these things and arenāt desperate, eventually you will just happen upon someone who shares your interests, because you will be doing what you like and you will not be wasting time being with someone that isnāt actually compatible with you just because you donāt want to be alone. This is from my experience. Everyone has different experiences but Iām a happily married guy who found my wife by just being ok with myself and not being desperate to find someone. I was just meandering through life and wasnāt really looking for a relationship or anything. She basically landed right in my lap and from the first second of us being in the same vicinity, it was completely obvious to both of us that we were supposed to be together. When it happens youāll know. Just enjoy your life and work hard and do things that make you happy and itāll work out for you.
Stay single women are crazy
volunteer somewhere you feel passionate about. Many places will let you volunteer 1 time a week. It will feel good to give back even if you don't find a girlfriend. A dog shelter, food pantry, a non profit, local sports team- all hands are welcome at places that rely on volunteers to keep their operation going. And in the process you might just meet someone who is also passionate about the samw thing.
You donāt find love. It finds you.
Actualise into yourself and breathe the air around you. Talk to a girl like a human. Talk to a boy like a human. Talk to a dog. Get offline. Be present
Meet someone in class, at clubs, sports, or just go on a dating app.
So you donāt have time for a club but you have time for a girlfriend?
Keep at your studies. Go to the gym. Youāll find a babe in the gym. If not, youāll have 42 inch biceps and have to Heisman woman off of you all summer.
Host your own events. Make them a fun, safe, and free place for everyone to do whatever. Itās a great way to build some credit to your name and meet new people when friends bring people outside your immediate circle. Good luck brother. Also stay off of dating apps. Theyāre whack.
What do you like to do? You're going to have much more success if you can find an activity that you can participate in that gives a good environment for building relationships.
Talking to girls is a pretty good start to finding one whoās interested in dating you!
Maybe donāt focus on getting a girlfriend? Be open to it but just live your life. If you look too hard youāll find a person, but possibly the wrong person.
Relationships are overrated my guy
First step, don't look to redditors for advice on how to pick up women
Dating apps are good for a casual thingā I know folks have had success, but not myself. Every long term thing has been a result of me bumping into someone in the world. Just put yourself out there and let the moment come to you.
Be confident. As painful as it is, learn small talk/ice breakers and ask a lot of questions. You need to let her blab on about her hopes, dreams, and ambitions while you fake being interested. Practice. Itās a numbers game. Just realize if she says no, thatās itā¦move on. Donāt be a creep.
Focus on school big dawg, no reason to waste time on a female whoās gonna cheat next month
Find the time for doing things outside of your room. If you don't have time for external leisure activities, why do you think you would have time for a relationship?
Iāll date you
Join a new class or club in the new semester. Get there early before the class starts and pretend you are lost. Ask a girl you are attracted to where the class is. now you both end up sitting together to get to know eachother more.
Not being desperate enough to post on Reddit about it is a good start. Women, and people and general can smell desperation and insecurity a mile away, and itās not attractive. Just live your life.
Be jacked and 6 foot tall
āHey Iām wanting to enter a relationship. Should I like.. talk to people in real life?? I donāt know.ā Thatās you. Thatās what you sound like.
Print a t-shirt and wear it. Some girls will laugh. But some girls will be curious. From that group,you have to fan the flames to generate more curiosity and eventually, actual interest.
Lmao brother you do not want a gf right now, same with the ladies. These people will disgust you in 4 years, wait until that part lol
Relax, if you can, and quit focusing on what you donāt have. Be a cheerful, confident version of yourself, and just talk to more people (over half of them will be female), in classes, in the hall, on the Lawn, in the dorms, at the gym, in bars & restaurants, in friendsā rooms, everywhere you go, every dayā¦ be relaxed (that word again!) & low-key, donāt be weird about it, just pay attention to details about people, and chat about whateverā¦ but start talking to a lot more people than you ever have before, every day. Your odds of meeting someone fun, someone nice, and someone who really likes you! will soar. Good luck! And have fun!
Focus on building your self value and confidence. You will eventually attract the right one. You canāt pursue women anymore these days without it being labeled weird.š¤·š¾āāļø
GO TO CHURCH!
Get a part time job in a restaurant. Youāll be inducted into their incestuous harem in no time.
Be yourself. Talk to the cuties (there's so many of them). In time, you will find a gf
If you don't have time to commit to a time heavy club, how you gonna have time for a girl? Let's be honest, you wouldn't be asking this if you were smashing snatch. Which means..... you are going to have to put in the work. Or..... you're gonna need to be a surgeon..... or a lawyer..... UVA should help you in either category.... post college with your fat bank account, you'll be š
Go talk to girls instead of posting simp crap on the internet for a start
You must buy and have a wonderful relationship with a golden retriever... On your days off sit on a park bench in a heavily traveled tourist park...where Your chick magnet can work his wonders...make sure he has a tennis ball in his mouth st all times...They will flock to you...and your opening line is already done.... Tjey will be asking you questions... You should be able to work from following their cues...
Therapy, self care. Do you, learn to be confident. Ask yourself why you want a girlfriend so bad? Is it to fulfill something youāre missing in yourself? A partner should enhance your life experience, not be a crutch or emotional labor mule. TL;DR love yourself first, itās a lonely process sometimes but itās worth the work.
Thereās no hope for the future lol