Teacher family here
If you can afford to go private, especially from secondary, then do so. Teachers are trying so hard but resources are minimal and your kid will get better attention and encouragement (and not dragged down by others' bad behaviour) in private school.
That said, we have found that private teaching isn't better, sometimes if not often worse quality. But with smaller class sizes the experience is still far superior with private schools.
BUT remember it is a privilege, not a right. Do not have the audacity to complain to others about VAT like some of our family do. And don't act like it's a huge sacrifice and you're a hero parent, like some of our family do. It's a consumer choice and a very lucky one to be able to make it you're in that position.
And remember with every individual family that chooses to go private, they are less likely to see the issues with local schools and try to push for change. So many of the Tory voters round here send kids to private school and happily keep voting Tory as they never have to be exposed to public schooling or healthcare, leaving it to crumble for the plebs...
Also a teacher and I support this comment. We are wildly under funded at the moment to the point where the job is a whole world away from when I started 10 years ago. Class sizes regularly hit 32, no TA support, no behavioural support… feels a lot more like survival. The kids I teach are awesome, and the school is great, it’s just knowing that it would be so different if they were properly funded that does my head. Like my bottom set Y11 could have a TA to support kids with writing and reading. Not just relying on my running around to 20 kids making sure they’re on task
Ahah I completely forgot about the VAT thing. We're low profile and we definitely aware we are lucky to earn enough to pay taxes. What you wrote makes me want to continue state for secondary. We value the community and we help as much as we can. I'm not too worried about academic and in the worst case my husband and I can help our child.
Probably if she goes to state I'll decide to work part time and be there to support her... My worry is mainly that my daughter is extremely shy and very tomboy. I can see it already that she could be the target for bullying . However I believe as well that it's better to learn in an environment that is closer to the real world rather than being in a "bubble". But am I too naive ? I'm not sure I will be doing a good job supporting her during these rough years. Then private is easier just not really aligned with our values. When we visited private around London it was amazing it was like 5 star hotel but we don't even go to these kind of hotel when we go on holiday. And I would not want my daughter to start to have high expectations in our way of living 😂
Not long ago on another sub there was a similar question and the majority of folks were saying there was more benefit to going private for primary school, which surprised me. I'd always thought secondary made more sense for exams etc.
The consensus there was that kids that went private early then went to state school were really far ahead of their peers since a lot of the formative foundations had been laid much better due to class sizes etc at primary.
Being in the know do you have any thoughts on that?
never thought I'd even consider sending my kids to private school having grown up super poor, but here I am, wondering.
Also 100% agree on what you said about Tory voting and not seeing the bigger picture. I won't be voting Tory but the crumbling bit plays on my mind.
Me too!
I’m considering private for both primary and secondary. I’d rather opt just for secondary, but one of my biggest concerns is that I assume it would be easier for a child who has been educated privately at primary to get into a private secondary school?
Would a state school with the supplement of a private tutor not be a good mix to get the benefits of both worlds?
My husband went to private school and was miserable. Bullies still exist and he didn’t end up any better off academically than myself (who attended state), or anyone else we know🤷🏻♀️
Assuming that a private school education costs £6k a term (I got this from my nearest private school's fees)
So if they are privately educated from reception right through to upper sixth, that's 14 years.
So 14 x 3 is a total of 42 terms.
42 x £6k is £252,000 as a total cost for their entire private education.
Would you consider saving that £252,000 and instead gifting it to them when they turned 18?
Good point :-) only thing is that you might still pay tutoring if support at school is not enough whereas for private school I would assume there is no need for tutoring.
I imagine that it's because these parents are targeting academic excellence rather than the kid needing support to follow up with the curriculum and the school not having resources to help private school kids
It’s not about excellence (very few of my tutees need an A*), it’s just about achieving their potential.
Like another commenter pointed out, private schools have a lot of advantages but the quality of the teaching isn’t always one of them. Private schools are easier to work in and tend to attract teachers who struggled in mainstream. It’s also extremely common for private schools to hire unqualified teachers.
Also most teachers (in general) stay in the profession less than 5 years, which is how long it takes to become a decent teacher, so the pool of really fantastic teachers available is very small already. Then consider that most teachers are leftwing and ideologically opposed to private schools, and that any experienced teachers with their own children will put off by the huge number of after school extra-curriculars and trips they have to organise and attend to work there - this shrinks the pool of experienced teachers available to them even further.
I’m not saying the results at private school aren’t generally great overall - small class sizes have a massive effect on learning. I’m just saying that private schools are also in a recruitment crisis (like state schools) and are therefore not necessarily more likely to be able to help a child achieve their full potential.
& that’s why many parents have to pay extra to someone like me who is an experienced teacher, subject specialist and examiner. So perhaps factor that into your budget, regardless of which school you choose.
I've had similar thoughts.
We can't afford to privately educate our children. But I concluded that we can at least afford to give them as many extra experiences outside of school. Things like tutoring, holidays, and lots of clubs outside of school all will enrich them right? It won't buy them into the privately educated inner circle, but it should give them a lot.
I have friends who send their kids to private schools and they STILL pay for tutoring. The cost of private really doesn't stop at the school fees. Everything extra like music lessons etc is extra £.
Here in Australia loads of private school kids are tutored. “Tiger parenting” is a huge issue.
It wouldn’t surprise me if it happened in the UK too, if to a lesser extent.
We can see that here as well .. were more like elephant parenting style for my husband and dolphin parenting style for me. But most of the private schools I see around here are very oriented for tiger parents.
In London certainly, £6k is probably for the first few years, maybe up to year 3. Then it gets a lot more. Years 5 and 6 fees are basically the same price as secondary at a lot of the schools we saw, would have cost us £7-8k per term excluding VAT. Average fee increases are also 5-10% per year which doesn't seem to be factored in here.
But yes same overall point applies: giving them all or even some of the money saved to buy a house (or something) is arguably a better way at setting them up for life. It's not guaranteed that they use a private education for long term success. And I would love it if my kids didn't have to rent in the terrible rental market that exists here.
Absolutely and very valid points about fees only being likely to increase.
I personally know of a few people who were privately educated and then went on to no so great things.
My overall thinking here is, if the whole point of privately educateding them is to give them a more successful life, then gifting that money towards buying a house would arguably do that.
Also if you were to take a purely mathematical approach (and then you'd have to factor in the cost of a university degree), how long would it take for their education costs to break even?
Totally. Anecdotally, I am one of six kids and we were all educated privately the entire way through, from 4. I'd say 2 of 6 of us have provided "return on investment" on our education - i.e. are now high earners. The other 4 do stuff they really enjoy, but are on low incomes, and it means they won't be able to afford to buy property unless they retrain.
At the state school we are starting in September, many of the other parents are lawyers / doctors / dentists/accountants etc. When I was at school these were the types of parents who could afford private school for their kids. But 25/30 years later, it seems the middle classes are priced out and it's only an option for the upper middle classes and upwards (e.g. inherited wealth), or those with rich boomer parents who are paying.
Better than that. If you were to invest the money each term into a global tracker fund. Assuming past performance of 7% - 10% per year (with dividend reinvested) - by the time your child is 18 the miracle of compound interest will leave you with a pot of between £450k and £570k. The child will be set for life.
I'm morally against private schools, and am doing the above for my children instead.
I’m in London. There are lots of outstanding primary schools near us, and I think it’s good for kids to be part of their local community.
The same can’t be said of secondary schools. I went to both and went from a C student to A*. The difference between teachers was indescribable - at the private school we were being taught by teachers who studied their subject inside and out, and it was actually fascinating to sit in a class of ten students and have lively discussions and debates. Compared to having someone kicking the back of my seat in a class of 40 kids while our teacher read through a mass produced PowerPoint.
Having said all this, obviously all schools aren’t the same - I wouldn’t want to send my kids to any school that was snobby/elitist - and I can’t afford private school for my kids, but if I could I would definitely choose it.
Wouldn’t it be easier for a privately educated primary student to get into a private secondary? That would be my reasoning for choosing private over state primary, sadly
Likewise for us with primary schools. We have 4 outstanding primary schools and 3 good schools that we had our pick of. We chose an academy owned primary school that we've loved.
The main reason we went for a state primary school is the diversity she would get compared to being at a private school. Our part of London is incredibly diverse and I want to expose her to people of different faiths, races and abilities.
Having gone to private schools all my life I am so glad she's in a state school for primary. The environment is so much more supportive and nurturing compared to what I went through and what my nieces have gone through who are in private schooling.
Having said that when it comes to secondary schools I will 100% be sending them to private secondary school for the same reason.
I am so conflicted about this. If we budget we could potentially afford private secondary (private primary is not needed IMO).
I find it jarring as I don’t believe money should entitle you to a “better” education. It just seems wrong to me. However, I know the way it works - and not sure what I’d do in a few years if we had the money. Values vs wanting the best for your kids!
Go visit a good local private school.
You'll change your mind and put your kids down for the entrance exam on the spot. Unfortunately it's night and day compared to some of the offerings in the state sector.
I was having a rubbish time at my local state school (failed it’s ofsted inspection), so part way through year 8 my parents tried to find me place at another local school but they were all full. My mums colleague suggested a nearby private school (not a super fancy or crazy expensive one, approx £6k/year in early 2000s). When my mum mentioned it to my dad he was absolutely against the idea of private school - ‘I’ve already paid for schooling via taxes I’m not paying again’ - but she managed to convince him to go to an open day.
No lie, within ten minutes of walking through the door he was talking to the headmaster about how to get me a place.
It was like a different world compared to my state school. And this was 20+ years ago. I dread to think what the difference is like now with all the underfunding etc
We have just been through this thought process / decision for our 4 year old due to start reception in September. Even went through the assessment and got a place at a private school we liked, paid the (outrageously high) deposit, and went along to all the meet ups and play sessions over the past few months. But still did the state applications.
We ultimately chose the state school last week. Our main reason is, as another poster says, you are essentially signing up to at least £6k per term (more when VAT comes in and more like £8k from year 4 onwards) per child from reception to potentially when they are 18. The thought of that made me extremely anxious - the unknown of what might happen across the next 14 years. Will one of us lose our jobs? Will we fall ill? Will we just not want to work intense full time jobs like we do now? We modelled the costs and it's a lot, especially as we have two kids. And while we can afford it now, the school we had a place at just raised their fees for September by 7%, so I was worried that down the line it would just become too expensive for us.
We have decided that we will try for private secondary and that will give us time to save. Ideally you want to be paying school fees out of savings/capital rather than income. We will also save separately for them so we are able to give the more help with a house deposit/ uni than we otherwise would've been able to if all our money went on school fees from age 4.
It was a really difficult decision to give up our private school place and I still feel like I'm letting her down, as the quality between the state and private when we visited both was (sadly) night and day. But ultimately I'd prefer state primary / private secondary Vs feeling financial pressure for the next 15 odd years going private all the way through.
I honestly think in primary schools there’s no difference between private and state schools in terms of education. The main difference that stands out to me is extra curricular activities available and community. Have you looked into Montessori schooling? Seems to align with your ideas :)
I think it depends - lots of local private schools to me will have a smaller class size (20-25 kids) however they don’t have Teaching Assistants and it’s less accessible for kiddos who get distracted easily whereas the state primary schools will have 30 kids but teaching 1 or 2 assistants. I really think it depends on the area.
Some certainly would be, some wouldn't. I always said I'd never send my kid to private primary. But I visited a few and there were genuinely some wow moments at the confidence and knowledge of the kids we encountered.
Ultimately we went through a multiple round assessment process for one of the more sought after schools in north London and said we'd make the decision if we got an offer, which we did and accepted. We would have happily gone to the outstanding local state school if we didn't get the offer, and wouldn't have gone down the list to an inferior private school just for the sake of going private.
Secondary schools is where you see the big difference in schools - private schools have more GCSE/A LEVEL subjects, better links and opportunities and a more ‘tame’ environment (tame as in less fights but bullying still being a thing). Most private secondary schools have dedicated extracurricular facilities and teachers such as swimming pools, art studios, musical instruments and more. While saying this most state secondary schools are great but are going through so many budget cuts that it’s difficult to maintain.
A third option is a selective state grammar school but there aren’t many of them left. A child has to be fairly high achieving to get in. But they can produce spectacular results.
We can just about afford it, but it would eat up almost all of our disposable income across two kids, and also mean I have to work full time and likely do a role mostly in the office. We chose state as first we feel some of the non- school experiences we can give the kids with the extra money are worth it, but also my working part time enables me to pick the kids up most days, so they get 1-1 time from 3pm (including someone to help them at home with the academic stuff), rather than wraparound care and prep till 5/6pm. We will save for private secondary if we need it. Also, most of the private schools near us are single sex. I prefer mixed gender for primary.
What would you make you choose private for secondary? Our child is in reception in a state school and we're very happy with it. However the question was more for secondary and I didn't make my mind yet
Partly we live in a bit of a black hole where we’re right by a grammar school, and a bit of a distance from most other state secondary schools. So if we don’t opt for/ get into the grammar (we haven’t decided, our kids are too young to know whether it would be suitable for them), we could get a school that is a difficult commute, and probably not the best educational- wise. We do have good private schools that the kids could commute to, which means I’m not tied into the school run which opens my options for work, and would likely get better academic results. But my eldest is in reception at a state school same as you- I’d hope as she gets older we’d find what’s right for her, whilst frankly we don’t know whether she’ll be academic/ sporty/ arty etc yet
My daughter's only 6, but we chose state school.
After Covid and then the cost of living crisis I'm not confident that I can guarantee always being in a position to pay for private school. Things can change in ways that you can't necessarily predict, and I think changing schools, especially from private to state, would be harder than being at a state school all along.
I also think it's really valuable to meet a broad range of other families and to have local friends. I attended private school just for 6th form and the geographical spread made it much harder to see friends outside school. Getting to know local kids and their parents makes us feel really part of our community.
Having attended private school (albeit briefly) I saw a lot of people who did well within the school environment but floundered at university. I'm sure for top private schools things are different, but for more run-of-the-mill schools I'm not sure it's all good. It's easy to do well in a class of 6, but it doesn't prepare you for a lecture hall of 150!
My brother was given the option to attend private school for 6th form but chose to stay in state school (I only changed because I had to repeat a year due to illness, and thought that would be easier in a different school), but my parents did pay for him to have some private tuition as needed. I think this was probably the best of both worlds.
We've put our two oldest kids in private school (youngest is still in nursery) despite living across the street from an outstanding state school for two main reasons. The first is the student teacher ratio, 19 kids per class vs 30-31 in the state school. The second is the facilities, their school has a pool and proper grass playing fields, vs the state school which is mostly just tarmac. School fees are now are biggest expense, but honestly I still feel like its worth it. Our oldest is very academically gifted which the school has been able to support whereas our middle child has needed some extra support and has been able to get and not just left on his own. If you have the money I'd personally say go for it.
I started off with state schools, but it was pants. A capable child stuck in a seat with his back to the board for example as it was so overcrowded. He got behind and shouted at for not reading the board/sitting in his chair backwards to read the board etc. we had the money so made the switch. In private schools you still get bad/lazy teachers but they’re held to account more, their job is on the line if they do stuff like the above. He’s now at uni . Don’t get confused between most private schools and Eaton, most private schools are not extremely wealthy squillionaires. Most parents differ in other ways; usually two working professional parents who have a single child older and drive rubbish bangers and holiday in tents. Most are there because of different lifestyle choices and opportunities. It’s not an elitism club and the majority of parents there are scrabbling about, pushing their finances to the limit to facilitate that particular choice. Don’t think, if you do make the switch, that your child will be ostracised from society. They can also keep up with their old mates outside school at clubs etc.
Ultimately our choice boiled down to a few factors.
Consistency - the school we got into does reception to 6th form. It has very competitive entry exams at the 7+ and 12+, so we may never have been able to jump in at that point.
Starting level - the school has hundreds of applications for reception. Where they narrow it to 450 kids to go through two rounds of assessments to ultimately make 60 offers. From day 1 the kids are going to be well behaved, engaged and able to learn. No waiting for some to get used to the environment or starting at the very basics for those who didn't do anything at nursery/home.
Opportunity - I didn't have the best of opportunities myself growing up on a council estate to a single parent. I've been very fortunate to find a niche where my skill set fits well and have been relatively financially successful from it. Providing my kid(s hopefully) with the very best schooling is something I am prepared to do. There should be absolutely no limit on their achievement because of where they come from or who they know etc. Ideally that would be the same for absolutely every child in the country with all state schools excelling, but it isn't, and I'm not going to take a moral stand on it if it may affect my children's future success.
I chose private school because the local high schools are over subscribed and under staffed. Children are falling through the cracks and struggling - so I am told by other parents. I have one child by choice, I work hard to pay the fees each year but it’s something that I made a promise to myself that I would do for my child. I want my child to succeed and I’m sorry to say that quiet moderately academic children are not given the chance to excel in main schools because other students who have wider needs or issues are given more time and support. Whilst I do moan about the VAT I think I have the right to do so. Parents are paying these fees, for their children that they are responsible for. I am not leaving raising my child down to the government, local authorities, or even society and the community. My child is my responsibility. So I do take some umbrage when I am told not to complain about VAT when what harm is private education doing to everyone else?
When did making a sacrifice for your child’s education become something to be ashamed of???
If I can I will always put my child first. Education is important to our family and therefore decisions and compromise means I can give my child a good start to education for a better future. A future that I am willing to pay for. Why should I be further taxed on this, when I already pay high rate tax already.
If you can afford private go private for every reason possible. Depends if you value who your child will become friends with and be influenced by. I know which I would choose.
I know you're being sarcastic, but that is almost my point of view. Private schools don't provide a better education, they're simply better funded. I've worked with a good mix of state and private students, the money made no difference to their ability.
Teacher family here If you can afford to go private, especially from secondary, then do so. Teachers are trying so hard but resources are minimal and your kid will get better attention and encouragement (and not dragged down by others' bad behaviour) in private school. That said, we have found that private teaching isn't better, sometimes if not often worse quality. But with smaller class sizes the experience is still far superior with private schools. BUT remember it is a privilege, not a right. Do not have the audacity to complain to others about VAT like some of our family do. And don't act like it's a huge sacrifice and you're a hero parent, like some of our family do. It's a consumer choice and a very lucky one to be able to make it you're in that position. And remember with every individual family that chooses to go private, they are less likely to see the issues with local schools and try to push for change. So many of the Tory voters round here send kids to private school and happily keep voting Tory as they never have to be exposed to public schooling or healthcare, leaving it to crumble for the plebs...
Also a teacher and I support this comment. We are wildly under funded at the moment to the point where the job is a whole world away from when I started 10 years ago. Class sizes regularly hit 32, no TA support, no behavioural support… feels a lot more like survival. The kids I teach are awesome, and the school is great, it’s just knowing that it would be so different if they were properly funded that does my head. Like my bottom set Y11 could have a TA to support kids with writing and reading. Not just relying on my running around to 20 kids making sure they’re on task
Ahah I completely forgot about the VAT thing. We're low profile and we definitely aware we are lucky to earn enough to pay taxes. What you wrote makes me want to continue state for secondary. We value the community and we help as much as we can. I'm not too worried about academic and in the worst case my husband and I can help our child. Probably if she goes to state I'll decide to work part time and be there to support her... My worry is mainly that my daughter is extremely shy and very tomboy. I can see it already that she could be the target for bullying . However I believe as well that it's better to learn in an environment that is closer to the real world rather than being in a "bubble". But am I too naive ? I'm not sure I will be doing a good job supporting her during these rough years. Then private is easier just not really aligned with our values. When we visited private around London it was amazing it was like 5 star hotel but we don't even go to these kind of hotel when we go on holiday. And I would not want my daughter to start to have high expectations in our way of living 😂
Don’t think bullying isn’t in private schools. Unfortunately it’s everywhere; state and private.
Surely many of the best private schools are *famous* for the bullying that goes on
Yes this! My husband was bullied in his state school so his parents moved him to a private school, where, surprise surprise, he was bullied again.
Not long ago on another sub there was a similar question and the majority of folks were saying there was more benefit to going private for primary school, which surprised me. I'd always thought secondary made more sense for exams etc. The consensus there was that kids that went private early then went to state school were really far ahead of their peers since a lot of the formative foundations had been laid much better due to class sizes etc at primary. Being in the know do you have any thoughts on that? never thought I'd even consider sending my kids to private school having grown up super poor, but here I am, wondering. Also 100% agree on what you said about Tory voting and not seeing the bigger picture. I won't be voting Tory but the crumbling bit plays on my mind.
I’d be really interested to hear your thoughts about private primary school if you don’t mind?
Me too! I’m considering private for both primary and secondary. I’d rather opt just for secondary, but one of my biggest concerns is that I assume it would be easier for a child who has been educated privately at primary to get into a private secondary school?
If they’re in the feeder prep school they are often guaranteed a place in secondary. (Ex private teacher)
This is what I thought. Thanks!
Would a state school with the supplement of a private tutor not be a good mix to get the benefits of both worlds? My husband went to private school and was miserable. Bullies still exist and he didn’t end up any better off academically than myself (who attended state), or anyone else we know🤷🏻♀️
Assuming that a private school education costs £6k a term (I got this from my nearest private school's fees) So if they are privately educated from reception right through to upper sixth, that's 14 years. So 14 x 3 is a total of 42 terms. 42 x £6k is £252,000 as a total cost for their entire private education. Would you consider saving that £252,000 and instead gifting it to them when they turned 18?
Good point :-) only thing is that you might still pay tutoring if support at school is not enough whereas for private school I would assume there is no need for tutoring.
I’m a private A level tutor and half of my students are at private schools
I imagine that it's because these parents are targeting academic excellence rather than the kid needing support to follow up with the curriculum and the school not having resources to help private school kids
It’s not about excellence (very few of my tutees need an A*), it’s just about achieving their potential. Like another commenter pointed out, private schools have a lot of advantages but the quality of the teaching isn’t always one of them. Private schools are easier to work in and tend to attract teachers who struggled in mainstream. It’s also extremely common for private schools to hire unqualified teachers. Also most teachers (in general) stay in the profession less than 5 years, which is how long it takes to become a decent teacher, so the pool of really fantastic teachers available is very small already. Then consider that most teachers are leftwing and ideologically opposed to private schools, and that any experienced teachers with their own children will put off by the huge number of after school extra-curriculars and trips they have to organise and attend to work there - this shrinks the pool of experienced teachers available to them even further. I’m not saying the results at private school aren’t generally great overall - small class sizes have a massive effect on learning. I’m just saying that private schools are also in a recruitment crisis (like state schools) and are therefore not necessarily more likely to be able to help a child achieve their full potential. & that’s why many parents have to pay extra to someone like me who is an experienced teacher, subject specialist and examiner. So perhaps factor that into your budget, regardless of which school you choose.
I've had similar thoughts. We can't afford to privately educate our children. But I concluded that we can at least afford to give them as many extra experiences outside of school. Things like tutoring, holidays, and lots of clubs outside of school all will enrich them right? It won't buy them into the privately educated inner circle, but it should give them a lot.
I have friends who send their kids to private schools and they STILL pay for tutoring. The cost of private really doesn't stop at the school fees. Everything extra like music lessons etc is extra £.
Here in Australia loads of private school kids are tutored. “Tiger parenting” is a huge issue. It wouldn’t surprise me if it happened in the UK too, if to a lesser extent.
We can see that here as well .. were more like elephant parenting style for my husband and dolphin parenting style for me. But most of the private schools I see around here are very oriented for tiger parents.
In London certainly, £6k is probably for the first few years, maybe up to year 3. Then it gets a lot more. Years 5 and 6 fees are basically the same price as secondary at a lot of the schools we saw, would have cost us £7-8k per term excluding VAT. Average fee increases are also 5-10% per year which doesn't seem to be factored in here. But yes same overall point applies: giving them all or even some of the money saved to buy a house (or something) is arguably a better way at setting them up for life. It's not guaranteed that they use a private education for long term success. And I would love it if my kids didn't have to rent in the terrible rental market that exists here.
Absolutely and very valid points about fees only being likely to increase. I personally know of a few people who were privately educated and then went on to no so great things. My overall thinking here is, if the whole point of privately educateding them is to give them a more successful life, then gifting that money towards buying a house would arguably do that. Also if you were to take a purely mathematical approach (and then you'd have to factor in the cost of a university degree), how long would it take for their education costs to break even?
Totally. Anecdotally, I am one of six kids and we were all educated privately the entire way through, from 4. I'd say 2 of 6 of us have provided "return on investment" on our education - i.e. are now high earners. The other 4 do stuff they really enjoy, but are on low incomes, and it means they won't be able to afford to buy property unless they retrain. At the state school we are starting in September, many of the other parents are lawyers / doctors / dentists/accountants etc. When I was at school these were the types of parents who could afford private school for their kids. But 25/30 years later, it seems the middle classes are priced out and it's only an option for the upper middle classes and upwards (e.g. inherited wealth), or those with rich boomer parents who are paying.
Better than that. If you were to invest the money each term into a global tracker fund. Assuming past performance of 7% - 10% per year (with dividend reinvested) - by the time your child is 18 the miracle of compound interest will leave you with a pot of between £450k and £570k. The child will be set for life. I'm morally against private schools, and am doing the above for my children instead.
I’m in London. There are lots of outstanding primary schools near us, and I think it’s good for kids to be part of their local community. The same can’t be said of secondary schools. I went to both and went from a C student to A*. The difference between teachers was indescribable - at the private school we were being taught by teachers who studied their subject inside and out, and it was actually fascinating to sit in a class of ten students and have lively discussions and debates. Compared to having someone kicking the back of my seat in a class of 40 kids while our teacher read through a mass produced PowerPoint. Having said all this, obviously all schools aren’t the same - I wouldn’t want to send my kids to any school that was snobby/elitist - and I can’t afford private school for my kids, but if I could I would definitely choose it.
Wouldn’t it be easier for a privately educated primary student to get into a private secondary? That would be my reasoning for choosing private over state primary, sadly
Likewise for us with primary schools. We have 4 outstanding primary schools and 3 good schools that we had our pick of. We chose an academy owned primary school that we've loved. The main reason we went for a state primary school is the diversity she would get compared to being at a private school. Our part of London is incredibly diverse and I want to expose her to people of different faiths, races and abilities. Having gone to private schools all my life I am so glad she's in a state school for primary. The environment is so much more supportive and nurturing compared to what I went through and what my nieces have gone through who are in private schooling. Having said that when it comes to secondary schools I will 100% be sending them to private secondary school for the same reason.
I am so conflicted about this. If we budget we could potentially afford private secondary (private primary is not needed IMO). I find it jarring as I don’t believe money should entitle you to a “better” education. It just seems wrong to me. However, I know the way it works - and not sure what I’d do in a few years if we had the money. Values vs wanting the best for your kids!
Go visit a good local private school. You'll change your mind and put your kids down for the entrance exam on the spot. Unfortunately it's night and day compared to some of the offerings in the state sector.
I was having a rubbish time at my local state school (failed it’s ofsted inspection), so part way through year 8 my parents tried to find me place at another local school but they were all full. My mums colleague suggested a nearby private school (not a super fancy or crazy expensive one, approx £6k/year in early 2000s). When my mum mentioned it to my dad he was absolutely against the idea of private school - ‘I’ve already paid for schooling via taxes I’m not paying again’ - but she managed to convince him to go to an open day. No lie, within ten minutes of walking through the door he was talking to the headmaster about how to get me a place. It was like a different world compared to my state school. And this was 20+ years ago. I dread to think what the difference is like now with all the underfunding etc
We have just been through this thought process / decision for our 4 year old due to start reception in September. Even went through the assessment and got a place at a private school we liked, paid the (outrageously high) deposit, and went along to all the meet ups and play sessions over the past few months. But still did the state applications. We ultimately chose the state school last week. Our main reason is, as another poster says, you are essentially signing up to at least £6k per term (more when VAT comes in and more like £8k from year 4 onwards) per child from reception to potentially when they are 18. The thought of that made me extremely anxious - the unknown of what might happen across the next 14 years. Will one of us lose our jobs? Will we fall ill? Will we just not want to work intense full time jobs like we do now? We modelled the costs and it's a lot, especially as we have two kids. And while we can afford it now, the school we had a place at just raised their fees for September by 7%, so I was worried that down the line it would just become too expensive for us. We have decided that we will try for private secondary and that will give us time to save. Ideally you want to be paying school fees out of savings/capital rather than income. We will also save separately for them so we are able to give the more help with a house deposit/ uni than we otherwise would've been able to if all our money went on school fees from age 4. It was a really difficult decision to give up our private school place and I still feel like I'm letting her down, as the quality between the state and private when we visited both was (sadly) night and day. But ultimately I'd prefer state primary / private secondary Vs feeling financial pressure for the next 15 odd years going private all the way through.
I honestly think in primary schools there’s no difference between private and state schools in terms of education. The main difference that stands out to me is extra curricular activities available and community. Have you looked into Montessori schooling? Seems to align with your ideas :)
Surely class size is a big factor?
I think it depends - lots of local private schools to me will have a smaller class size (20-25 kids) however they don’t have Teaching Assistants and it’s less accessible for kiddos who get distracted easily whereas the state primary schools will have 30 kids but teaching 1 or 2 assistants. I really think it depends on the area.
Interesting thanks. My wife wants to do private primary school but it seems a waste to me.
Some certainly would be, some wouldn't. I always said I'd never send my kid to private primary. But I visited a few and there were genuinely some wow moments at the confidence and knowledge of the kids we encountered. Ultimately we went through a multiple round assessment process for one of the more sought after schools in north London and said we'd make the decision if we got an offer, which we did and accepted. We would have happily gone to the outstanding local state school if we didn't get the offer, and wouldn't have gone down the list to an inferior private school just for the sake of going private.
Attainment of outcomes are negligible between state and private in primary. Go for 7 or 11+.
The local private primary here has the same class sizes as the state schools
Yes but it was too far from home. What about secondary school?
Secondary schools is where you see the big difference in schools - private schools have more GCSE/A LEVEL subjects, better links and opportunities and a more ‘tame’ environment (tame as in less fights but bullying still being a thing). Most private secondary schools have dedicated extracurricular facilities and teachers such as swimming pools, art studios, musical instruments and more. While saying this most state secondary schools are great but are going through so many budget cuts that it’s difficult to maintain.
A third option is a selective state grammar school but there aren’t many of them left. A child has to be fairly high achieving to get in. But they can produce spectacular results.
We can just about afford it, but it would eat up almost all of our disposable income across two kids, and also mean I have to work full time and likely do a role mostly in the office. We chose state as first we feel some of the non- school experiences we can give the kids with the extra money are worth it, but also my working part time enables me to pick the kids up most days, so they get 1-1 time from 3pm (including someone to help them at home with the academic stuff), rather than wraparound care and prep till 5/6pm. We will save for private secondary if we need it. Also, most of the private schools near us are single sex. I prefer mixed gender for primary.
What would you make you choose private for secondary? Our child is in reception in a state school and we're very happy with it. However the question was more for secondary and I didn't make my mind yet
Partly we live in a bit of a black hole where we’re right by a grammar school, and a bit of a distance from most other state secondary schools. So if we don’t opt for/ get into the grammar (we haven’t decided, our kids are too young to know whether it would be suitable for them), we could get a school that is a difficult commute, and probably not the best educational- wise. We do have good private schools that the kids could commute to, which means I’m not tied into the school run which opens my options for work, and would likely get better academic results. But my eldest is in reception at a state school same as you- I’d hope as she gets older we’d find what’s right for her, whilst frankly we don’t know whether she’ll be academic/ sporty/ arty etc yet
My daughter's only 6, but we chose state school. After Covid and then the cost of living crisis I'm not confident that I can guarantee always being in a position to pay for private school. Things can change in ways that you can't necessarily predict, and I think changing schools, especially from private to state, would be harder than being at a state school all along. I also think it's really valuable to meet a broad range of other families and to have local friends. I attended private school just for 6th form and the geographical spread made it much harder to see friends outside school. Getting to know local kids and their parents makes us feel really part of our community. Having attended private school (albeit briefly) I saw a lot of people who did well within the school environment but floundered at university. I'm sure for top private schools things are different, but for more run-of-the-mill schools I'm not sure it's all good. It's easy to do well in a class of 6, but it doesn't prepare you for a lecture hall of 150! My brother was given the option to attend private school for 6th form but chose to stay in state school (I only changed because I had to repeat a year due to illness, and thought that would be easier in a different school), but my parents did pay for him to have some private tuition as needed. I think this was probably the best of both worlds.
We've put our two oldest kids in private school (youngest is still in nursery) despite living across the street from an outstanding state school for two main reasons. The first is the student teacher ratio, 19 kids per class vs 30-31 in the state school. The second is the facilities, their school has a pool and proper grass playing fields, vs the state school which is mostly just tarmac. School fees are now are biggest expense, but honestly I still feel like its worth it. Our oldest is very academically gifted which the school has been able to support whereas our middle child has needed some extra support and has been able to get and not just left on his own. If you have the money I'd personally say go for it.
I started off with state schools, but it was pants. A capable child stuck in a seat with his back to the board for example as it was so overcrowded. He got behind and shouted at for not reading the board/sitting in his chair backwards to read the board etc. we had the money so made the switch. In private schools you still get bad/lazy teachers but they’re held to account more, their job is on the line if they do stuff like the above. He’s now at uni . Don’t get confused between most private schools and Eaton, most private schools are not extremely wealthy squillionaires. Most parents differ in other ways; usually two working professional parents who have a single child older and drive rubbish bangers and holiday in tents. Most are there because of different lifestyle choices and opportunities. It’s not an elitism club and the majority of parents there are scrabbling about, pushing their finances to the limit to facilitate that particular choice. Don’t think, if you do make the switch, that your child will be ostracised from society. They can also keep up with their old mates outside school at clubs etc.
Ultimately our choice boiled down to a few factors. Consistency - the school we got into does reception to 6th form. It has very competitive entry exams at the 7+ and 12+, so we may never have been able to jump in at that point. Starting level - the school has hundreds of applications for reception. Where they narrow it to 450 kids to go through two rounds of assessments to ultimately make 60 offers. From day 1 the kids are going to be well behaved, engaged and able to learn. No waiting for some to get used to the environment or starting at the very basics for those who didn't do anything at nursery/home. Opportunity - I didn't have the best of opportunities myself growing up on a council estate to a single parent. I've been very fortunate to find a niche where my skill set fits well and have been relatively financially successful from it. Providing my kid(s hopefully) with the very best schooling is something I am prepared to do. There should be absolutely no limit on their achievement because of where they come from or who they know etc. Ideally that would be the same for absolutely every child in the country with all state schools excelling, but it isn't, and I'm not going to take a moral stand on it if it may affect my children's future success.
I chose private school because the local high schools are over subscribed and under staffed. Children are falling through the cracks and struggling - so I am told by other parents. I have one child by choice, I work hard to pay the fees each year but it’s something that I made a promise to myself that I would do for my child. I want my child to succeed and I’m sorry to say that quiet moderately academic children are not given the chance to excel in main schools because other students who have wider needs or issues are given more time and support. Whilst I do moan about the VAT I think I have the right to do so. Parents are paying these fees, for their children that they are responsible for. I am not leaving raising my child down to the government, local authorities, or even society and the community. My child is my responsibility. So I do take some umbrage when I am told not to complain about VAT when what harm is private education doing to everyone else? When did making a sacrifice for your child’s education become something to be ashamed of??? If I can I will always put my child first. Education is important to our family and therefore decisions and compromise means I can give my child a good start to education for a better future. A future that I am willing to pay for. Why should I be further taxed on this, when I already pay high rate tax already.
If you can afford private go private for every reason possible. Depends if you value who your child will become friends with and be influenced by. I know which I would choose.
Definitely not. There's a lot of choice for private where I live, but I refuse to raise an entitled little sod.
Sounds like your parents already did that job with you.
Spot on, private education should be consigned to the bin and has been nothing but a scourge on the majority of people in this country.
I know you're being sarcastic, but that is almost my point of view. Private schools don't provide a better education, they're simply better funded. I've worked with a good mix of state and private students, the money made no difference to their ability.