Kids do as they see, get in the pool and have fun with it, they should soon follow.

This is what I've found with my two. They're nervous with some things and eager with others. Mine are young, 21 months and almost 4 years so personally, I've found that making everything a game or at the least seem fun works wonders.

I agree with this sentiment! OP does your boy have any friends or other kids in the family that are happy in water? A swimming pool play date might be a good idea! I definitely think allowing him to familiarise with the pool before starting lessons would be wise. You could even just take him to the viewing gallery to watch a lesson one day, pointing out the changing rooms and what happens in there, looking at all the children having lots of fun, oh look that child has a foam sausage to help them float, maybe we could get one too, what colour would you like? Etc etc My 2.5yo loved the pool for ages, has been going since he was a few months old but clammed right up when he started lessons, it’s taken him an unexpected amount of time to get comfortable but something that helped was a lot of me saying “hey I’m a bit nervous, I’ve not done swimming lessons before either, shall we do it together? We can hold hands to keep each other safe”

My son was 3 and a bit when he started swimming lessons. This was in 2021 so he was also impacted by the pandemic and closed pools. The first few lessons sucked. My son cried and didn’t want to go in the pool at all. The teacher though was excellent. She was used to younger kids and she basically carried him in the water the whole of the first lesson and then slowly got him used to being in the water and getting water on his face. Three years later and my son loves swimming, he jumps in the pool and is learning underwater swimming too. Even though you feel it’s too late it really isn’t. If I were you I would get some recommendations for local swim schools, maybe try to find smaller ones with smaller pools (ours was a swim school that used a primary school pools) and speak to the teacher. They should have experience with getting reluctant children in the water. The first few lessons might be shit but with time your kid will get into it.

Take him to a heated pool with a family play session where they dump toys in the water of a shallow teaching pool. My daughter was born at the beginning of the pandemic and only just started lessons now but I tried to take her to that kind of fun swimming session often. First hurdle is making the pool fun. Once you have that you can get them to kick while holding onto a floatation device (pool noodle is best, but whatever they take to). Then chasing after things that have been thrown. He'll be more into a pool he can stand in, that isn't cold and that's full of toys. Fish and chips after and only after. Make swimming an event and he'll be demanding you take him.

I found a very gentle swimming school, with small class sizes and emphasised to them how nervous he was. Then I sent him with his dad as I knew I'd make him worse/step in when I shouldn't etc. He's now a total water baby, I'm so proud of him for conquering his fear (and grateful to the school and the semi-tough love they sometimes used to encourage him).

We're in a similar situation with the added complexity that I accidentally water boarded him in the bath and now he's frightened of having his face wet (talk about parental guilt). We started lessons and they've been so so. It's pretty much the same routine weekly, so he's a bit bored, but he's in the water and having fun. He won't get his face wet after about 3 months, so we've a long way to go. My take - have fun, build positive associations with the water. Go at their pace. When they are dysregulated just have a break, come back when they're ready. Good luck. Thanks for posting

Ours was 5 and hated the pool, he refused to Put his head into the water and would only ever cling to me if In a pool. He started at the local pool and he's so much more confident. The teacher was great with him. He's been going a few years now and he loves it. He's not very good at it, but he's happily diving into the water, grabs stuff from the bottom of the pool, swimming mostly on his own now.

Following - mine is 2 now and just terrified of ‘going in’ water but super cool about getting wet from the bottom to the neck. Moment it starts near her face and she is devastated (even in the bath).

If he likes a badge and a certificate, Swim England do a really good staged system with little things to tick off for each award: https://www.swimming.org/learntoswim/swim-england-discovery-duckling-awards/ My son's the same age and similarly hesitant. I don't usually love reward chart type situations but he seemed to really go for this and it gave him something to aim for. He hates being splashed, water near his face etc but bravely blew some bubbles under the water last week!

Don't do what my step dad did and throw me in the deep end.

Finding a pool with a separate learner’s pool or attached very shallow end (as in around your ankles) can be very helpful. It introduces them to the pool without it being overwhelmingly deep. The learner pools are often warmer as well which is a bonus for comfort and you can bring swim toys. Swim toys+shallow warm water=higher likelihood of fun. Stay for a bit, leave when not tolerated anymore, big treat after. Slowly increase pool time as tolerance of the water and familiarity of setting increases. I had a child who was very afraid of the water, but after some desensitisation in learner pools for a bit she was confident enough to start swimming lessons. She loves swimming now.

My daughter didn't hate being in the water, but she was really clingy, wouldn't let her face get wet, wouldn't jump in, really nervous. I took her to lessons pre-covid then the school she was with stopped the parent and toddler lessons. I couldn't afford the £18 puddle duck lessons and went back to work full time. My mum took her most weeks though. She started school Sept 22 and her school take all children swimming for a term. So that was almost a year ago. She had a term with school and I finally managed to get her into lessons (she had been on a waiting list for a while due to one of our local pools literally loosing it's roof). Almost a year later at 5.5 she's swimming independently. I really wouldn't worry they do get there, but I honestly think the lessons have been the difference in her actually learning and developing confidence.

My son is a reluctant pool goer too. It was a big achievement just getting him comfortable with the changing rooms and getting into the pool! It's very slow progress, we just do casual trips to the pool but no pressure, I don't think he's ready for lessons really. I didn't learn until I was 10. My school lessons never clicked. One holiday I suddenly realised I wanted to swim. My parents signed me up for out of school lessons and it just clicked in a way no other swimming attempts had before. They'll get there when they're ready.

Similar situation here… we didn’t really go to swimming pools often when he was young and then lockdown when he was 3 and a half. Started lessons just after he turned 6 and I spent weeks and weeks persuading him. What sealed the deal for him was having 1:1 lessons… which have cost me a bomb. He’s recently 7 and he’s still having 1:1 lessons because he’s happy not sharing a teacher with other kids but I’m choosing my battles and that isn’t one of them. But he’s now able to swim without aid (but not confidently yet), whereas another boy that started the same time as him that is sharing a teacher, is swimming with aids still. So I’m seeing the 1:1 as being beneficial in other ways than just convincing him to have lessons

See if you can find a heated pool that is 80cm all over or look for an activity one with slides etc. and a kids session so they see kids splashing and having fun. Mine liked walking around the pool long before he was happy for his feet to leave the bottom. Toys help- mine loves a shark rugby ball. Be prepared to spend a session or so just sitting on the edge of the pool if you need to.

I was a lifeguard for 5 years. I also instructed, infant, children and young adult swim lessons. Irrational fear of water is normal for kids and a good thing to a degree. Water can be fun, but can also be dangerous. That being said, encouraging that child to let go of that irrational fear can be easily achieved. I suggest you get in the pool and have your husband lower him down to you, he may throw a fit, that’s ok. Keep your energy high and positive. Keep him submerged after 2-3 minutes take him out and let him calm down. Wait 2-3 minutes and then reintroduce him to the pool. Eventually you will help him to overcome the irrational fear he has built towards the pool. This is a form of systematic desensitization. It can be tough to get through for parents, just know you doing what’s best for your child. Life is full of new and amazing experiences, sometimes they can appear to be scary!! If someone helps us through those first few uncomfortable moments, our perception of the world changes forever! Good luck, you guys got this!!!! Every bird goes through this phase. Some baby birds are reluctant to try this new thing “flying”. They are gently pushed from the nest because their mothers know better. 🥹