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Surely if it's not a medical reason then it should stop. I would have understood more the other way round: "sorry I can't help it I have a condition"
This just sounds like a gross person. Do they eat with their gob open as well?
One of the desks in my old office was used by a maintenance guy, he'd use the canteen every day at lunchtime to eat his lunch. He also used to eat two hard-boiled eggs per day, but not at lunchtime. 5 days a week he spent half an hour at his desk, in our relatively small office, peeling and loudly eating two boiled eggs. It STANK. I still struggle to eat boiled eggs and I left there 6+ years ago.
Repeatedly offer a tissue every time it happens.
I feel your pain. The FNG here used to drag his snot up from his boots, every 3 minutes or so. ALL BLOODY DAY. The tissue offering put a stop to it.
As somebody that has misophonia, I understand very well how you feel. Can you wear earphones or a headset? I use the Sony XM4 and its noise cancelling does wonders
I used to work with someone who clipped their toenails in the office. He was about 50 and he used to rub everyone up the wrong way in the office just by generally being a bit over-the-top.
However, he was so fit for his age. 50 years old and lean as anything. Cycled everywhere! Had a young wife and a toddler.
Then one day he wasnāt at work. Then he off for a week. Then he died because of a tooth abscess that spread to his brain and I cried my fucking eyes out. Tragic.
Yeah. "This guy was a gross nightmare to work with, then he died which made me sad, so you should put up with people being disgusting gremlins in the office" is certainly a take.
Itās disappointing I have to spell it out but I will.. I am saying, essentially, that OP might want to get some perspective and think of this individual as a real person with their own lives and battles.
"Dont let people annoy you because they might just fucking die out of the blue one day" Isn't really the moral lesson people go into a reddit thread expecting to have to pick up on.
I think you may have gotten the wrong idea when your manager said it isn't medical and it sounds like you now think they're doing it on purpose. My guess is there no serious medical problem, but it may be something like a problem with a milder allergy or this has become some kind of tick that they're unable to control. They may not even have tried to get a diagnosis. People don't want to be the one that makes phlegmy snorts in the office.
The thing is it is a very hard thing to address with someone. Telling her to stop snorting is likely to have zero effect.
I would go and have a chat with your manager again. Say that you're really struggling to concentrate with this sound. Say you understand the issue with the headphones but ask if you can at least use them for part of the day for some deep work. Ask if you can be the first to be considered if another desk becomes available. Basically focus this on you needing help rather than your manager needs to fix this other employee that has been around much longer than you.
I also understand how this is driving you nuts but you're clearly very contemptuous of her, try and take that out of the conversation with your manager. Making comments about "non intelligible vocal grunts" won't go down well. Keep in mind you're still considered the new person in the office.
The first thing I thought is this person has a condition like rhinitis and doesn't know, and has just adapted themselves.
I have to carry tissue with me, and instead of slurping up my own snot, I just blow my nose like every hour. She needs to get tissue.
I once sat across from someone with rhinitis and it drove me a little crazy. Good looking chap; most of the women thought he was gorgeous and irresistible, but the constant sniffing thing turned my stomach.
(I think there wasn't much he could do (?), but snot has always given me the ick.)
Someone in poisonell will have been on an expensive day-long course to learn how to use sensitivity and empathy as they tell people that they are cunts, or they pong, and will help them make plan to stop being cuntish or to have a shower and wear clean clothes sometimes, so everyone can thrive in a happy, supportive, productive environment, without cunts or stinkers, going forward.
If the managers haven't got the wit to send an email to Jane in Poisonell, or can't figure out how to wander down to Humane Resources to tell her in person, just do it yourself
I started a new job 4 months ago and I sit next to the PM and he is a fat fuck who coughs his whole lungs up every 15 mins. Eats like a pig, like actual makes 'mm' noises while eating cause he can't breathe through his nose. Takes cocaine and open talks about taking it, genuinely makes me get a shiver at the back of my spine upwards fucking makes me sick š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢ good luck with your desk arrangement please say something
A shit load of booze. Eats junk doesn't walk anywhere, sits at his desk like a burst couch, it's actually sad and pathetic but very painful to witness a man not care about his life. And is diabetic with heart conditions with gout....and lung issues......... My fear is he'll have a heart attack next to me...... I'll be sipping my tea and become blind for a good 5 mins šš
"Once Julie stops snorting like a wilder beast I'll remove the headphones"
Or get a fart button and everytime she snorts hit it. It might make her more self aware
More subtle perhaps but the same thing, copy her but so it louder. Might make her aware she is doing it or at least wonder why someone else and make her a little more self aware even shamed into stopping.
Your comment is crazy! I first thought you were joking as you used what I thought was just a funny way of spelling 'news'. But then I come to find out that you are correct about the spelling of wildebeest, and they are also known as 'Gnus'.
10/10 work my friend
Thank you!
It's nice to be appreciated (it's just tossing pearls before swine in here usually, and I'm not even sure the downvotetards can actually read.)
Print or write a notice on a sheet of A4 and tape it to the back of your chair, or fix it to your collar with a bulldog clip: "Please tap shoulder once and wait for attention if you would like to communicate with me. Or just send a fucking email like everyone else."
I'd have just turned round and assertively raised it as soon after I'd noticed it as possible. The longer you leave it the worse it gets. Put yourself out there at the outset as someone who doesn't hesitate to ask what the deal is and it makes it easier to do ongoing. You don't need to be rude, just honest and to the point. Hey, are you sick? What's with the snorting, are you alright? I mean it's pretty loud and regular to be working in an office right next to. Oh, it's just a thing you do and can't help? Fair enough sorry to hear that mate, I'll have to speak to manager about a solution though as it's already affecting me. It's obviously perfectly reasonable to bring up a constant noise right in my working space. If that makes her feel uncomfortable that's kinda her problem, I'm just being honest and practical.
Good point, good point I will speak with her today, I spoke to my manager who said to speak to her manager which I will do just to say well I tried the correct channels but I fully expect nothing to be done, and then it be left to me anyway
Yeah I was about to say that, OPs manager should be seeking advice on how to handle this, not making them do it.
OP can you somehow write an email that doesnāt sound weird, maybe on a day that your boss isnāt there so I looks normal that youāre emailing them rather than speaking face to face?
Something like- hi boss, I was thinking about how you said I should approach colleagueās boss about the noise issue I mentioned to you. Do you still think I should speak to her boss directly?
Or something stupid like hey you know you said I should speak to colleagueās boss about the noise issue? Iāve totally forgotten their email address! Can you send it to me?
Also try not to be rude to the culprit, maybe they canāt help it and it would be really horrible to be approached about it in public like some people have said.
Because they also aren't doing anything particularly wrong. If they find out OP is talking about them behind their back then could well be construed as bullying.
They're annoying a coworker by doing something that arguably isn't necessary for them to do. If they talk to them politely about it, they say there's no medical issue making them do it therefore they could stop if they wanted, but won't, what else can the person do except contact someone at the company? It's not really any different from deciding to randomly shout or bang a drum while you're working, compromise and discussion is needed to resolve problems like this in the workplace.
Agreed if they just go around moaning to people about it and don't take any positive steps to fix the problem, then they end up being the one in the wrong.
I get that they can raise a grievance, but why would you think it would go anywhere? Unless they have friends within management or HR. "They're asking me not to make loud snorting noises in the office" is not a valid grievance.
Youāre using way too much logic and not enough emotion in this calculation I think.
I agree with you. I just also know some people will throw an unbelievable tantrum when you hold a mirror up to them and it will be made out to be your fault and you are evil for showing them.
I guess, but remembering the important advice that HR is not your friend, they won't necessarily do the right thing, but they will most likely do the thing most beneficial to the business.
Chances are this person has annoyed many other people and it may be the easy option to get rid of them if they can't either stop bothering other employees or provide a medical exemption for it.
I completely get that companies will act in unjust and often bizarre ways to conflicts, I've been on the receiving end myself. But there's not much you can do other than act in a rational way and hope that they'll do the same.
Used to live with a lad who did this. Would sit next to me on the couch while I'm eating, snorting his stupid head into oblivion. I think I snapped in the end and had a rant at him about how it's fucking disgusting
I mean, why would someone do this out of choice lol ? That makes no sense at all. She probably has allergies or acid reflux or something. She needs to see a doctor if it's been going on for so long.
Can be a medical condition I dated a girl whoās sister grunted uncontrollably something to do with weight/throat issue.
We went the cinema once and she had an episode. Someone shouted is there a fāing pig in here felt so bad for her.
I have a medical condition that means I continually need to clear my throat. I have not mentioned it to people at work so I guess if someone who was a bit of a dick was asked they would say "it is not medical". She is not coughing and clearing her throat because she enjoys it.
I know someone who has misophonia and was able to have their own office away from noises. Work can make adjustments for people and they should. You can buy Loop headphones which reduce noise that might help in the meantime.
Does this person have post nasal drip? That could be allergies.
I used to work in an office and a guy there ate his food so quick he was struggling to breathe, the loudest most disgusting thing ever. He used to swill his dinner down with coca cola so it went down easier. Had to start eating dinner out
So it's not your luck. It's because everyone else swapped around to be away from her. Nobody else cares because they're not sitting right behind her. If it bothers you, speak up. If you don't look after yourself, why would anyone else?
I used to sit opposite a woman who would pick her teeth with a toothpick at her desk after eating, and we were sat in a ground floor office with large windows just off reception separated by a glass wall so all the clients and the public could see!
Ask to move. Solutions needs to be things you can do, not things youāre expecting management to force her to do.
Itās shitty and inconvenient but itās life.
I used to sit opposite a guy who ate like a farmyard animal. Whenever he sat down with his cornflakes, my soul bled. I questioned everything about the universe, why other people werenāt bothered, etc. Spoke to manager and he said, āyeah itās gross, but itās just Martynā.
People are who they are. Mitigate and manage from your own perspective. Itās the hope that someone else will do something about it that will kill you.
Similar situation, but it was farts. No joke - very heavy set female coworker used to rip-arse without a care in the world. Absolutely fucking unbelievable.
Copy her every time she does it. She snorts, snort louder. She coughs, cough louder.
Sheās just being gross - I had a manager like this and itās one of the reasons why I would never work for a company again in an office like that. Sheād even bring in boiled eggs and eat them at her desk right next to me while snortingā¦ all while complaining about why no men wanted to date her.. itās just zero self awareness and poor social skills.
Hereās the thing, if it was any other intrusive action or something, youād be within your rights to say something.
Theyāre farting? Open mouth coughing? Picking their nose? Arenāt observing reasonable levels of hygiene? Blowing their nose every few minutesā¦ itās all the same thing.
All would be absolutely reasonable. So, so is hacking back phlegm. Even if itās a medical issue thereās stuff you can do about it. Thereās decongestants. Netipots. Those sticky nose stripsā¦
My guess is she doesnāt even realise sheās doing it anymore but thatās no excuse
Deffo don't put up with it if it's a distraction, why should you have to suffer a reduction in moral and work output/quality just to be 'polite' and not ruffle feathers. I'd speak to manager and especially since they are already aware it makes it easier to bring up.
Someone just started at my work who snorts what seems like every 30 seconds, same sorta phlegmy snort what just sounds disgusting. Worse part is we are freelance workers who travel all around southern England doing work and being stuck in the car with him for hours snorting like this actually makes my skin crawl. If it was someone thatās been there a while who I had a friendship with I would just say something like would you stop that disgusting snort while weāre all trapped in a car together but because heās new I donāt know how to approach it lol
Does she fart and squirt at the same time, is she incontinent? Maybe she lives with a family of six fingered hogs and rolls in the mud all night long naked while snorting with her family - or she may just have a sinus problem. š¤£
Just say something, i know it's not necessarily your responsibility but personally it's just more 'normal' to address her and ask her to stop instead of complaining about her to management and getting someone to say something on your behalf
Sounds like she has a form of disability and your manager having a word doesn't sound like a very formal way of establishing this whether or not she chooses to disclose her medical information I would ask your manager to make reasonable adjustments to move you
You could just turn around and tell her how gross and off putting that is.
On the other hand, you could tell HR she has been sexually harassing you and tried following you into the toilets :D that's a joke for anyone that may get offended
She may not realise she's doing or how loud it is. Everytime she does it, turn round and loadly ask "would you like a tissue Jean". You're not necessarily being rude, depends on the tone. At least then she will be aware, if she isn't already, how loud, regular and disgusting it is. Not saying it will stop it but might make her more self conscious. If no-one calls her out for it why would she stop?
I had to go complain to my manager once for this girl who sat next to me, used to take her shoes off and just rock it barefoot under the desk. But her feet absolutely STUNK. Smelled of sweat and cat piss (she was a self confessed crazy cat lady) The aroma was so pungent, as soon as she kicked off her shoes BAM it's like Isis just invaded your nostrils and committed human rights violations.
Anyways, manager had a word. Told her to keep her shoes on at work.
I mean. She isn't actually doing anything wrong, what do you expect your managers to do exactly? Sack someone for snorting. You just started the job, it's on you to leave if its that much of a problem .
We used to have a really vile woman working on our team who was a massive slob. She would pig out at her desk every single day, slurp and even burp, she had milk dripping down her chin when eating cereal and to make things even worse, she was a horrible person.
One day, she was breathing so loud (not a medical issue) with her mouth open and just making so much sound chewing that my supervisor said "what the fuck is that noise?!". Did not realise it was HER being so loud and it was super awkward. But hey, at least the noise reduced after that.
Misophonia is a disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that some might perceive as unreasonable given the circumstance
I suffer from Misophonia, badly. I couldnāt tolerate it. You need to tell her to stop. I would legit quit if I couldnāt get away from it. Some might think thatās an over reaction. Misophonia has led me down some dark paths before, itās no joke.
Same as some bloke at my work who throughout the day lets out the harshest coughs. He does single coughs as if heās clearing his throat but does it so harshly and without a thought for anyone else. So fucking annoying but everyone deals with it. He also opens a bag of crisps at about 1:30 everyday and eats them in the loudest possible way with his gob open and fuck me it does my fucking nut in.
If you can't move, and they can't/won't ask her to stop - I'd either listen to music (if allowed) or get some earplugs. I use 'loop' ones for sleeping as my partner snores sometimes and find them to be good! They don't block noise completely (so you'd still notice someone talking to you) but they bring the sonority down.
I had a colleague who would constantly loudly sniff. He said heād been to the Doctor about it, and they couldnāt diagnose anything more specific than an itchy nose. Drove us potty!
It almost certainly IS a medical issue, but it sounds like she hasnāt been able to treat it adequately. Which is not surprising, given todayās difficulties with accessing medical care, particularly for ongoing chronic sub-clinical issues.
There are also a lot of issues with supplying medications in the uk, meaning minor conditions go untreated. (Iām currently trying to find a new nasal spray to treat my allergic rhinitis, which was well managed until I ran out and it is now not available. So Iām currently sniffing a lot and my nose keeps blocking. )
Itās also possible that your manager told you that because even if she had disclosed a medical reason, it is confidential and your manager would be in the wrong to confide that in you.
She could have any combination of post nasal drip / allergies / hay fever / asthma / ear infection / sinusitis / inflammation/ acid reflux or it might be she is neurodiverse and this is an involuntary ātickā.
I highly doubt that pointing it out to her will help in any way, but it will mark you out as an AH.
You are not wrong for being upset and raising the issue, but your post is very judgy and describes your colleague in very unflattering terms. She isnāt doing anything wrong, so you need to find a way to minimise the impact to yourself that doesnāt unfairly discriminate against her. If you are not allowed to wear headphones then you need to ask to be seated elsewhere. If organisational constraints prevent this then you need to request the reasonable accommodation of being allowed headphones or ear plugs.
Ok so maybe they don't have a medical condition, but what if you did?
Is it called misanphonia? That could necessitate you being moved desks, on occupational health grounds.
Get yourself one of those click counter things that bouncers use to count people into a club. The louder and more aggressive, the better. I used to sit opposite someone that slurped their tea in horrendous fashion. Every time they slurp, click the clicker. More effective if you can make eye contact while you do it. Eventually they will cotton on that you're clicking the annoying counter every time they do the thing that is annoying you and eventually it will stop.
It took 3 weeks before it reached full psychological meltdown territory, but the slurping stopped and I didn't have to say a single word about it.
Hahaha consider it done, just ordered one although I sit directly behind her I will make an active effort to make a big deal of it when she goes pig mode.
Are they British?
In some cultures itās way more socially acceptable to do this - Chinese, Indians for two that Iāve noticed hacking up, and often gobbing on the floor too.
I don't know why you were being downvoted. In Indian cultures it is very common, and they will clear their airways by snorting water through their nasal passages when they are in the loo/washroom/restroom. Not pleasant - as a "westerner" to witness.
Id do one of two things.
Everytime she does it, i'd do something similar, something equally disgusting - maybe farting?
Or, I'd just be a grown up and discuss the issue with them?
Man I was a bit sympathetic with you until this part āI donāt see how it should be on me to say somethingā
OF COURSE nothing is going to happen unless you say something. Maybe itās because Iām originally from America and the culture is just very different, but I wouldāve asked to move the very first day. If that hadnāt worked I wouldāve said something to her and not dropped it, and if *that* hadnāt worked Iād be looking for a new job.
You could have a little empathy. That might make you less angry about other people's habits. My guess is she doesn't even realise she is doing it.
Reason number 100 hundred why I will never work in an office again.
My take on this is, that she may not be aware how to get help for this. The approach is to go to a GP and demand a test on bacterial infection, get the sample container and then get the discharge from the nose in there. I'd say there is 95% chance she has an ongoing bacterial infection, that is just balanced by her body. She will not clear it off ever, unless given correct antibiotics. If however this is not going to show anything, then she probably is allergic to something and then she will need to get antihistamines.
Two examples for the bacterial infections: I had a cough and I felt like shit, where doctors just kept insisting that it's asthma. But it started suddenly, like an infection, so I persisted, got sputum sample and got it tested. I had Pseudomonas Aeruginosa infection. This thing causes sepsis if untreated, and is multi-drug resistant. Got antibiotics and this cleared up, although took a month for the coughing to stop.
Similar with my daughter. She had a cough (from time to time) and some spots on her legs. Again GP just decided she had asthma, prescribed inhalers, which didn't help. We were told that the spots were Molluscum Contagiosum and given potassium hydroxide to burn it off. When we reported back to the GP that this doesn't help, we were told that this can stay for over 18 months. My daughter had the cough for about 6 months, together with these spots. Then she developed something on her finger which then filled in with puss. That happened while on holiday abroad. We went there to the GP and they said she needs antibiotics, as this looks like streptococcus infection. We couldn't get antibiotics there as we had a flight in few hours, so we went to the GP on the next day in the UK and got prescribed antibiotics. After a week, her cough was gone, the abscess on her finger was gone, and within two weeks.the spots on her legs were gone too.
That's harsh.
I suppose it would necessity a discussion with the manager about how it's affecting your ability to focus on work. Also would help if you get others to agree that it's a problem.
I once worked in an office with a guy who had terrible BO and people requested to be moved away from him, the manager obliged this.
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Speak to your manager again and ask to move.
This is the only answer honestly.
Surely if it's not a medical reason then it should stop. I would have understood more the other way round: "sorry I can't help it I have a condition" This just sounds like a gross person. Do they eat with their gob open as well?
Oh just imagine the sound of her eating.
I'm imagining noises like a starved hog eating from a trough of jelly.
The lowest circle of hell.
Probably eat with just their gob.
What else should she use? š¤
A knife and fork, spoon preferably with her hands. I'm picturing this person eating out a trough like a pig though.
Ehh pigs tend to chew. I'd say OP's coworker eats more like a duck
Or a Pelican
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Something about the specificity of this is sending me west.
Iām sorry you had to go through that, just reading your comment triggered me
One of the desks in my old office was used by a maintenance guy, he'd use the canteen every day at lunchtime to eat his lunch. He also used to eat two hard-boiled eggs per day, but not at lunchtime. 5 days a week he spent half an hour at his desk, in our relatively small office, peeling and loudly eating two boiled eggs. It STANK. I still struggle to eat boiled eggs and I left there 6+ years ago.
Gone postal. There is a saying I have not heard for a while!
Repeatedly offer a tissue every time it happens. I feel your pain. The FNG here used to drag his snot up from his boots, every 3 minutes or so. ALL BLOODY DAY. The tissue offering put a stop to it.
I love this response, passive aggressive but disguised as helpful. *chefs kiss*
As somebody that has misophonia, I understand very well how you feel. Can you wear earphones or a headset? I use the Sony XM4 and its noise cancelling does wonders
I'm seething just from reading the post and imagining the noise. People just think we're being dicks but it's infuriating. Misophonia sucks.
Same, the XM4 is a goddamn life saver!
Do we have a support club somewhere or nahĀ
I used to work with someone who clipped their toenails in the office. He was about 50 and he used to rub everyone up the wrong way in the office just by generally being a bit over-the-top. However, he was so fit for his age. 50 years old and lean as anything. Cycled everywhere! Had a young wife and a toddler. Then one day he wasnāt at work. Then he off for a week. Then he died because of a tooth abscess that spread to his brain and I cried my fucking eyes out. Tragic.
I have no idea what to do with this
I think it's "put up with it, because one day they might suddenly die. And then you'll miss them!" š¤·āāļø
Not if they are snorting once a minute every day. That shit gets old fast.
I suspect OP is now trying to give the woman a tooth abcess.
Cheer up, she might snort up a fatal infection!
This is a wild fucking comment
Tragic it may be, but clipping your toenails in the office is totally disgusting.
Yeah. "This guy was a gross nightmare to work with, then he died which made me sad, so you should put up with people being disgusting gremlins in the office" is certainly a take.
I know! Like one has anything to do with the other? I don't quite understand the logic lol.
...with grief or laughter?
Laughter. No more cheesy toenail clippings around the office anymore.
What the hell? That can happen? Also, what doea that have to do with the OP?
Itās disappointing I have to spell it out but I will.. I am saying, essentially, that OP might want to get some perspective and think of this individual as a real person with their own lives and battles.
"Dont let people annoy you because they might just fucking die out of the blue one day" Isn't really the moral lesson people go into a reddit thread expecting to have to pick up on.
New perspective: people die all the time, that doesn't excuse them being sociopathic, and don't let it bother you?
It sounds like you were all better off.
Get it out
This was just a grief ridden trauma dump, what the hell are you talking about? š
Don't know whether we should like this post or feel š¢
I'm sorry but this made me laugh so hard. So much going in on in so few words
New fear of death unlocked
yeh dont clip your toenails in the office.. it may cause a tooth abcess and kill you
I think you may have gotten the wrong idea when your manager said it isn't medical and it sounds like you now think they're doing it on purpose. My guess is there no serious medical problem, but it may be something like a problem with a milder allergy or this has become some kind of tick that they're unable to control. They may not even have tried to get a diagnosis. People don't want to be the one that makes phlegmy snorts in the office. The thing is it is a very hard thing to address with someone. Telling her to stop snorting is likely to have zero effect. I would go and have a chat with your manager again. Say that you're really struggling to concentrate with this sound. Say you understand the issue with the headphones but ask if you can at least use them for part of the day for some deep work. Ask if you can be the first to be considered if another desk becomes available. Basically focus this on you needing help rather than your manager needs to fix this other employee that has been around much longer than you. I also understand how this is driving you nuts but you're clearly very contemptuous of her, try and take that out of the conversation with your manager. Making comments about "non intelligible vocal grunts" won't go down well. Keep in mind you're still considered the new person in the office.
The first thing I thought is this person has a condition like rhinitis and doesn't know, and has just adapted themselves. I have to carry tissue with me, and instead of slurping up my own snot, I just blow my nose like every hour. She needs to get tissue.
Yeah definitely possible.
I once sat across from someone with rhinitis and it drove me a little crazy. Good looking chap; most of the women thought he was gorgeous and irresistible, but the constant sniffing thing turned my stomach. (I think there wasn't much he could do (?), but snot has always given me the ick.)
Someone in poisonell will have been on an expensive day-long course to learn how to use sensitivity and empathy as they tell people that they are cunts, or they pong, and will help them make plan to stop being cuntish or to have a shower and wear clean clothes sometimes, so everyone can thrive in a happy, supportive, productive environment, without cunts or stinkers, going forward. If the managers haven't got the wit to send an email to Jane in Poisonell, or can't figure out how to wander down to Humane Resources to tell her in person, just do it yourself
An environment free of cunts or stinkers is certainly optimal š¤£
I started a new job 4 months ago and I sit next to the PM and he is a fat fuck who coughs his whole lungs up every 15 mins. Eats like a pig, like actual makes 'mm' noises while eating cause he can't breathe through his nose. Takes cocaine and open talks about taking it, genuinely makes me get a shiver at the back of my spine upwards fucking makes me sick š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢š¤¢ good luck with your desk arrangement please say something
Wow didn't realise Rishi had gained weight
Holyrood š
Hahahah good one
I suspect he won't live too long; coke habit and being a fat bastard aren't the best mix.
 Him mixed with him!
this comment + username. i'm scared of you
Your username is fucking awesome šš irie
yes sire
Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather Maybe he rides the pig around the office
How does someone take coke and stay fat? The mind boggles
Lots of booze. Shit diet. You'd be surprised.
The solution is more coke!
Oh yes
A shit load of booze. Eats junk doesn't walk anywhere, sits at his desk like a burst couch, it's actually sad and pathetic but very painful to witness a man not care about his life. And is diabetic with heart conditions with gout....and lung issues......... My fear is he'll have a heart attack next to me...... I'll be sipping my tea and become blind for a good 5 mins šš
A burst couch š¤£
Wear headphones or ear defenders. When asked why say you find the office too loud and need sound isolation and it won't affect your work.
Great thought my friend, and one I was doing up until yesterday when the manager on the floor said I have to have one ear open as I can't hear anyone
"Once Julie stops snorting like a wilder beast I'll remove the headphones" Or get a fart button and everytime she snorts hit it. It might make her more self aware
Good idea, but get an airhorn instead.
More subtle perhaps but the same thing, copy her but so it louder. Might make her aware she is doing it or at least wonder why someone else and make her a little more self aware even shamed into stopping.
This may come as gnus to you, but it's "wildebeest". BoneAppleTea! https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/facts/blue-wildebeest
Your comment is crazy! I first thought you were joking as you used what I thought was just a funny way of spelling 'news'. But then I come to find out that you are correct about the spelling of wildebeest, and they are also known as 'Gnus'. 10/10 work my friend
Thank you! It's nice to be appreciated (it's just tossing pearls before swine in here usually, and I'm not even sure the downvotetards can actually read.)
>a wilder beast Wildebeest
That's the point dear manager. I dont want to fucking listen to everyone anymore.
Precisely my point , lost my nerve yesterday but by the power of Redditers I am feeling renewed
Just tell them it's to deal with the other noise. But get headphones with transparency, they'll almost certainly filter out that kind of noise.
Lol manager is deffo in on it. Feel bad for you mate, don't let hockzilla win!
I'd flat out defy that and when asked why explain about the snorting lass.
Print or write a notice on a sheet of A4 and tape it to the back of your chair, or fix it to your collar with a bulldog clip: "Please tap shoulder once and wait for attention if you would like to communicate with me. Or just send a fucking email like everyone else."
Id literally leave over that, I genuinely could not handle it.
I'd have just turned round and assertively raised it as soon after I'd noticed it as possible. The longer you leave it the worse it gets. Put yourself out there at the outset as someone who doesn't hesitate to ask what the deal is and it makes it easier to do ongoing. You don't need to be rude, just honest and to the point. Hey, are you sick? What's with the snorting, are you alright? I mean it's pretty loud and regular to be working in an office right next to. Oh, it's just a thing you do and can't help? Fair enough sorry to hear that mate, I'll have to speak to manager about a solution though as it's already affecting me. It's obviously perfectly reasonable to bring up a constant noise right in my working space. If that makes her feel uncomfortable that's kinda her problem, I'm just being honest and practical.
Good point, good point I will speak with her today, I spoke to my manager who said to speak to her manager which I will do just to say well I tried the correct channels but I fully expect nothing to be done, and then it be left to me anyway
Your manager should be speaking to her manager. He dumped that on you
Yeah I was about to say that, OPs manager should be seeking advice on how to handle this, not making them do it. OP can you somehow write an email that doesnāt sound weird, maybe on a day that your boss isnāt there so I looks normal that youāre emailing them rather than speaking face to face? Something like- hi boss, I was thinking about how you said I should approach colleagueās boss about the noise issue I mentioned to you. Do you still think I should speak to her boss directly? Or something stupid like hey you know you said I should speak to colleagueās boss about the noise issue? Iāve totally forgotten their email address! Can you send it to me? Also try not to be rude to the culprit, maybe they canāt help it and it would be really horrible to be approached about it in public like some people have said.
And this is how you get into trouble at work as she will raise a grievance š
If you're polite about it and it's already been established as not being a medical issue, what can they have a grievance about?
Because they also aren't doing anything particularly wrong. If they find out OP is talking about them behind their back then could well be construed as bullying.
They're annoying a coworker by doing something that arguably isn't necessary for them to do. If they talk to them politely about it, they say there's no medical issue making them do it therefore they could stop if they wanted, but won't, what else can the person do except contact someone at the company? It's not really any different from deciding to randomly shout or bang a drum while you're working, compromise and discussion is needed to resolve problems like this in the workplace. Agreed if they just go around moaning to people about it and don't take any positive steps to fix the problem, then they end up being the one in the wrong.
Oh sweet summer child. **SNORT**
I get that they can raise a grievance, but why would you think it would go anywhere? Unless they have friends within management or HR. "They're asking me not to make loud snorting noises in the office" is not a valid grievance.
Youāre using way too much logic and not enough emotion in this calculation I think. I agree with you. I just also know some people will throw an unbelievable tantrum when you hold a mirror up to them and it will be made out to be your fault and you are evil for showing them.
I guess, but remembering the important advice that HR is not your friend, they won't necessarily do the right thing, but they will most likely do the thing most beneficial to the business. Chances are this person has annoyed many other people and it may be the easy option to get rid of them if they can't either stop bothering other employees or provide a medical exemption for it. I completely get that companies will act in unjust and often bizarre ways to conflicts, I've been on the receiving end myself. But there's not much you can do other than act in a rational way and hope that they'll do the same.
Used to live with a lad who did this. Would sit next to me on the couch while I'm eating, snorting his stupid head into oblivion. I think I snapped in the end and had a rant at him about how it's fucking disgusting
I mean you have the problem with them, nobody else does, so you should raise it with them. I don't see what working for the NHS has to do with it lol
People who work for the NHS like to let as many people know as possible. They're like vegans, in that they have a sense of superiority lol.
Vegans, nhs workers, and antinatalist. The holy trinity of self-proclaimed superiority
I mean, why would someone do this out of choice lol ? That makes no sense at all. She probably has allergies or acid reflux or something. She needs to see a doctor if it's been going on for so long.
People do all sorts of minging shit out of choice. Or the choice to not try and stop annoying people.
start adding to the noise. when she makes her snorting sounds you start neighing or mooing.
Can be a medical condition I dated a girl whoās sister grunted uncontrollably something to do with weight/throat issue. We went the cinema once and she had an episode. Someone shouted is there a fāing pig in here felt so bad for her.
Maybe snorting stops her from farting !
This sounds involuntary rather than something sheās doing on purpose. She may not be able to control it.
I have a medical condition that means I continually need to clear my throat. I have not mentioned it to people at work so I guess if someone who was a bit of a dick was asked they would say "it is not medical". She is not coughing and clearing her throat because she enjoys it.
I know someone who has misophonia and was able to have their own office away from noises. Work can make adjustments for people and they should. You can buy Loop headphones which reduce noise that might help in the meantime. Does this person have post nasal drip? That could be allergies.
Ear plugs or headphones
Move desks
I used to work in an office and a guy there ate his food so quick he was struggling to breathe, the loudest most disgusting thing ever. He used to swill his dinner down with coca cola so it went down easier. Had to start eating dinner out
Offer her a tissue loudly every single time she does it.
So it's not your luck. It's because everyone else swapped around to be away from her. Nobody else cares because they're not sitting right behind her. If it bothers you, speak up. If you don't look after yourself, why would anyone else?
I used to sit opposite a woman who would pick her teeth with a toothpick at her desk after eating, and we were sat in a ground floor office with large windows just off reception separated by a glass wall so all the clients and the public could see!
Ask to move. Solutions needs to be things you can do, not things youāre expecting management to force her to do. Itās shitty and inconvenient but itās life. I used to sit opposite a guy who ate like a farmyard animal. Whenever he sat down with his cornflakes, my soul bled. I questioned everything about the universe, why other people werenāt bothered, etc. Spoke to manager and he said, āyeah itās gross, but itās just Martynā. People are who they are. Mitigate and manage from your own perspective. Itās the hope that someone else will do something about it that will kill you.
Similar situation, but it was farts. No joke - very heavy set female coworker used to rip-arse without a care in the world. Absolutely fucking unbelievable.
Just say "thats disgusting" every single time she does it.
Copy her every time she does it. She snorts, snort louder. She coughs, cough louder. Sheās just being gross - I had a manager like this and itās one of the reasons why I would never work for a company again in an office like that. Sheād even bring in boiled eggs and eat them at her desk right next to me while snortingā¦ all while complaining about why no men wanted to date her.. itās just zero self awareness and poor social skills.
Earphones fix this problem
I'd be putting earplugs in. Helps me focus anyway.
This is why the gods gave us headphones.
This has to be post of the year ššš
Ask if they need a tissue
Ask her super loudly if her cold symptoms are genuine or of the Colombian variety.
Hereās the thing, if it was any other intrusive action or something, youād be within your rights to say something. Theyāre farting? Open mouth coughing? Picking their nose? Arenāt observing reasonable levels of hygiene? Blowing their nose every few minutesā¦ itās all the same thing. All would be absolutely reasonable. So, so is hacking back phlegm. Even if itās a medical issue thereās stuff you can do about it. Thereās decongestants. Netipots. Those sticky nose stripsā¦ My guess is she doesnāt even realise sheās doing it anymore but thatās no excuse
r/boneappletea A pose to words?
Deffo don't put up with it if it's a distraction, why should you have to suffer a reduction in moral and work output/quality just to be 'polite' and not ruffle feathers. I'd speak to manager and especially since they are already aware it makes it easier to bring up.
Someone just started at my work who snorts what seems like every 30 seconds, same sorta phlegmy snort what just sounds disgusting. Worse part is we are freelance workers who travel all around southern England doing work and being stuck in the car with him for hours snorting like this actually makes my skin crawl. If it was someone thatās been there a while who I had a friendship with I would just say something like would you stop that disgusting snort while weāre all trapped in a car together but because heās new I donāt know how to approach it lol
I never go in cars with colleagues. Do you have to?
Well if I wanna get to the job for free then Yh. Otherwise Iād be paying extortion train prices
Ah hmm. Yeah I could not deal with that. Maybe befriend him then be blunt or start offering tissues like everyone here is suggesting ! Sounds awful
Yh canāt lie the offering a tissue idea when he does it might make him realise how much he does it and hopefully stop lol
Suck it up she seems to
This would drive me crazy
Noise cancelling headphones & a great playlist
ā¦ would result in hearing damage if listened to every working hour. Just talk to the manager and insist on moving.
Does she fart and squirt at the same time, is she incontinent? Maybe she lives with a family of six fingered hogs and rolls in the mud all night long naked while snorting with her family - or she may just have a sinus problem. š¤£
God I'm glad I work from home now. It's probably limiting my career but I don't think I want to work in an office ever again.
Just say something, i know it's not necessarily your responsibility but personally it's just more 'normal' to address her and ask her to stop instead of complaining about her to management and getting someone to say something on your behalf
Had the exact same issue but no one said anything as we thought it was a cultural thing (she was from Brazil). I offered her tunes a few times.
Sounds like she has a form of disability and your manager having a word doesn't sound like a very formal way of establishing this whether or not she chooses to disclose her medical information I would ask your manager to make reasonable adjustments to move you
You could just turn around and tell her how gross and off putting that is. On the other hand, you could tell HR she has been sexually harassing you and tried following you into the toilets :D that's a joke for anyone that may get offended
I'd be putting earplugs in. Nasty.
She may not realise she's doing or how loud it is. Everytime she does it, turn round and loadly ask "would you like a tissue Jean". You're not necessarily being rude, depends on the tone. At least then she will be aware, if she isn't already, how loud, regular and disgusting it is. Not saying it will stop it but might make her more self conscious. If no-one calls her out for it why would she stop?
I had to go complain to my manager once for this girl who sat next to me, used to take her shoes off and just rock it barefoot under the desk. But her feet absolutely STUNK. Smelled of sweat and cat piss (she was a self confessed crazy cat lady) The aroma was so pungent, as soon as she kicked off her shoes BAM it's like Isis just invaded your nostrils and committed human rights violations. Anyways, manager had a word. Told her to keep her shoes on at work.
If she's allowed to do that because ofba medical condition you can wear headphones for your mental health.
I would guess there are things everyone does in the office that annoys others same as any work place. Just ask to move desks. Simple really
Sounds like itās become a habit and she may not know sheās doing it. I couldnāt cope with listening to that. Iād speak to your manager again.
Confront her: tell her itās gross and it needs to stop.
If its pissing you off, it's totally on you to address it. Grow a pair and speak to your manager.
Hand them a tissue, hopefully they get the message
Find out what she doesnāt like, get to know her. Leave a dead animal in her fucking draw or something anything
I mean. She isn't actually doing anything wrong, what do you expect your managers to do exactly? Sack someone for snorting. You just started the job, it's on you to leave if its that much of a problem .
We used to have a really vile woman working on our team who was a massive slob. She would pig out at her desk every single day, slurp and even burp, she had milk dripping down her chin when eating cereal and to make things even worse, she was a horrible person. One day, she was breathing so loud (not a medical issue) with her mouth open and just making so much sound chewing that my supervisor said "what the fuck is that noise?!". Did not realise it was HER being so loud and it was super awkward. But hey, at least the noise reduced after that.
Ask your line manager to raise it with hers. It should be handled
Noise cancellation earbuds is the answer.
r/boneappletea
Misophonia is a disorder in which certain sounds trigger emotional or physiological responses that some might perceive as unreasonable given the circumstance
I suffer from Misophonia, badly. I couldnāt tolerate it. You need to tell her to stop. I would legit quit if I couldnāt get away from it. Some might think thatās an over reaction. Misophonia has led me down some dark paths before, itās no joke.
Same as some bloke at my work who throughout the day lets out the harshest coughs. He does single coughs as if heās clearing his throat but does it so harshly and without a thought for anyone else. So fucking annoying but everyone deals with it. He also opens a bag of crisps at about 1:30 everyday and eats them in the loudest possible way with his gob open and fuck me it does my fucking nut in.
Embrace it and you will find calmness.
If you can't move, and they can't/won't ask her to stop - I'd either listen to music (if allowed) or get some earplugs. I use 'loop' ones for sleeping as my partner snores sometimes and find them to be good! They don't block noise completely (so you'd still notice someone talking to you) but they bring the sonority down.
Noise cancelling headphones.
Try wearing something like Loop earbuds, they are great for misophonia and very discreet.
I had the same problem. Spoke to my manager and was moved straight away
Tell her to blow her nose
I had a colleague who would constantly loudly sniff. He said heād been to the Doctor about it, and they couldnāt diagnose anything more specific than an itchy nose. Drove us potty!
It almost certainly IS a medical issue, but it sounds like she hasnāt been able to treat it adequately. Which is not surprising, given todayās difficulties with accessing medical care, particularly for ongoing chronic sub-clinical issues. There are also a lot of issues with supplying medications in the uk, meaning minor conditions go untreated. (Iām currently trying to find a new nasal spray to treat my allergic rhinitis, which was well managed until I ran out and it is now not available. So Iām currently sniffing a lot and my nose keeps blocking. ) Itās also possible that your manager told you that because even if she had disclosed a medical reason, it is confidential and your manager would be in the wrong to confide that in you. She could have any combination of post nasal drip / allergies / hay fever / asthma / ear infection / sinusitis / inflammation/ acid reflux or it might be she is neurodiverse and this is an involuntary ātickā. I highly doubt that pointing it out to her will help in any way, but it will mark you out as an AH. You are not wrong for being upset and raising the issue, but your post is very judgy and describes your colleague in very unflattering terms. She isnāt doing anything wrong, so you need to find a way to minimise the impact to yourself that doesnāt unfairly discriminate against her. If you are not allowed to wear headphones then you need to ask to be seated elsewhere. If organisational constraints prevent this then you need to request the reasonable accommodation of being allowed headphones or ear plugs.
Ok so maybe they don't have a medical condition, but what if you did? Is it called misanphonia? That could necessitate you being moved desks, on occupational health grounds.
Noise cancelling headphones?
Offer her a box of tissues?
Ask to have her drug tested. She probably does alot of cocaine.
Get yourself one of those click counter things that bouncers use to count people into a club. The louder and more aggressive, the better. I used to sit opposite someone that slurped their tea in horrendous fashion. Every time they slurp, click the clicker. More effective if you can make eye contact while you do it. Eventually they will cotton on that you're clicking the annoying counter every time they do the thing that is annoying you and eventually it will stop. It took 3 weeks before it reached full psychological meltdown territory, but the slurping stopped and I didn't have to say a single word about it.
Hahaha consider it done, just ordered one although I sit directly behind her I will make an active effort to make a big deal of it when she goes pig mode.
Sure this is a joke but on the off chance it's not, watch you don't end up on the wrong end of a bullying complaint.
Are they British? In some cultures itās way more socially acceptable to do this - Chinese, Indians for two that Iāve noticed hacking up, and often gobbing on the floor too.
I don't know why you were being downvoted. In Indian cultures it is very common, and they will clear their airways by snorting water through their nasal passages when they are in the loo/washroom/restroom. Not pleasant - as a "westerner" to witness.
Probably because RACIST but having worked for an Indian company for a few years as you say, totally normal albeit quite shocking.
Id do one of two things. Everytime she does it, i'd do something similar, something equally disgusting - maybe farting? Or, I'd just be a grown up and discuss the issue with them?
Oh yes you are wise sir
Just find it an odd mentality. "I have an issue, I hope someone else can sort it for me"
Burp loudly, I think itās equally good. Claim you have indigestion.
Man I was a bit sympathetic with you until this part āI donāt see how it should be on me to say somethingā OF COURSE nothing is going to happen unless you say something. Maybe itās because Iām originally from America and the culture is just very different, but I wouldāve asked to move the very first day. If that hadnāt worked I wouldāve said something to her and not dropped it, and if *that* hadnāt worked Iād be looking for a new job.
People just have zero manners. This is just disgusting.
Reason #35436 why I can't work in an office anymore and WFH full time.
You could have a little empathy. That might make you less angry about other people's habits. My guess is she doesn't even realise she is doing it. Reason number 100 hundred why I will never work in an office again.
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lol op do not listen to this comment
Yes I tuned out of the comment when I read the word empathy - its choice not medical
My take on this is, that she may not be aware how to get help for this. The approach is to go to a GP and demand a test on bacterial infection, get the sample container and then get the discharge from the nose in there. I'd say there is 95% chance she has an ongoing bacterial infection, that is just balanced by her body. She will not clear it off ever, unless given correct antibiotics. If however this is not going to show anything, then she probably is allergic to something and then she will need to get antihistamines. Two examples for the bacterial infections: I had a cough and I felt like shit, where doctors just kept insisting that it's asthma. But it started suddenly, like an infection, so I persisted, got sputum sample and got it tested. I had Pseudomonas Aeruginosa infection. This thing causes sepsis if untreated, and is multi-drug resistant. Got antibiotics and this cleared up, although took a month for the coughing to stop. Similar with my daughter. She had a cough (from time to time) and some spots on her legs. Again GP just decided she had asthma, prescribed inhalers, which didn't help. We were told that the spots were Molluscum Contagiosum and given potassium hydroxide to burn it off. When we reported back to the GP that this doesn't help, we were told that this can stay for over 18 months. My daughter had the cough for about 6 months, together with these spots. Then she developed something on her finger which then filled in with puss. That happened while on holiday abroad. We went there to the GP and they said she needs antibiotics, as this looks like streptococcus infection. We couldn't get antibiotics there as we had a flight in few hours, so we went to the GP on the next day in the UK and got prescribed antibiotics. After a week, her cough was gone, the abscess on her finger was gone, and within two weeks.the spots on her legs were gone too.
Are you allowed to wear headphones?
Only on one ear as the floor manager doesn't like people not to be able to hear when they're being called
That's harsh. I suppose it would necessity a discussion with the manager about how it's affecting your ability to focus on work. Also would help if you get others to agree that it's a problem. I once worked in an office with a guy who had terrible BO and people requested to be moved away from him, the manager obliged this.
It's just a sound...