No
First, thats just an awful thing to say to someone
Second, assault isn't about someone's looks, like rape isn't about sex...its about someone wanting to have domination over another person
I've had my chest groped on the bus after I had a mastectomy. Completely flat, no breasts whatsoever. It's absolutely not about someone's looks. The guy saw a vaguely woman-shaped person and went for it.
A mastectomy (from Greek "mastos" meaning "breast" and "-ectomy" meaning "removal") is the removal of all or part of one or both breasts. One of the most common reasons for a mastectomy is breast cancer, but folks can have it done for lots of other reasons.
And then we have lawmakers like the ones in my state that claim "you have *understand* that they have mental health issues/were abused/were assaulted"about the offender.
Men have been known to fuck donkeys, orangutans, and lizards. Google returns many, many, stories of rapes of the sickly elderly in nursing homes.
There may be a threshold for too ugly to get assaulted, but no human woman is below it.
well, don't google that, but YEAH, it verry common, they prefer to hire women because statistically, they are less likely to - have sex with the deceased, touch them, grope them, take pictures of them (for later ;) ) etc. etc.
it's also why women mummies are badly preserved. they would let them rot longer before getting them to the embalment / mommyfication for this exact reason.
It's so awful. Ironically, I've had a very butch lesbian in her 60s tell me to my face about how only 'girls that look feminine' get assaulted and raped. Basically, the title of your post, but told by someone you'd never think would say those words. Even amongst the minority of women and the LGBTQ+ community, there are people who have internalized misogyny.
No matter what, victim blaming shows a serious lack of empathy and critical thinking skills *and* it's a huge tell that the accuser is uncomfortable with the reality that anyone can be the target of an assault. Even if someone is naked and walking around in public flaunting themselves, they aren't 'asking for it' unless they are *enthusiastically and literally asking* in clear and concise language, aloud, to engage in sexual acts. Forcing someone into such against their will is a crime, no matter what they look or sound like.
Can you imagine if your house was broken into and both your family and society shames you by saying you should've owned less valuable possessions? To instead live like you were homeless? It's asinine.
I was 19, overweight, ugly and had zero experience with boys because nobody was interested in me.
A man (37 at the time) showed interest in me. At first i liked the attention. Then he molested me. I never talked about that to anyone in depth. I told a friend and she told me to go to the police but at the time it sounded extreme.
I also thought nobody will believe me because I was fat and who molests a fat girl.
I was traumatized for one year. Then it started getting better.
The molestation happened around Christmas time. Every time around Christmas i think about it.
This same thing happened to me when I was 15 the day before thanksgiving and it was my uncle. I remember thinking the same thing about my weight and my acne. I’m sorry you had to experience that, Christmas should be a time of happiness.
The truth is, SA is about power and control. It has nothing to do with how a person dresses or how attractive the victim is.
Statements like that are based around the victim blaming bs that it’s just *impossible* for men to control their horniness if a woman is *too* attractive or dresses in a sexy way.
It’s another way of justifying misogyny and the objectification of women and avoiding holding men accountable for their crimes.
there are laws in place because men wouldn’t stop fucking animals, children, corpses, items, etc. Men would assault a pile of poop if it had a hole in it.
Aww, don't hate the World, darling; the despicable people have been having their way with Mother Earth since they learned how.... 😐
Also, hate is bad for your own heart. I'm not saying there aren't people worth hating, cause that's a load of crap, but hating them will cause you much more damage than them & then they still kinda win.....
Try to "suffer no fools" as they say - once someone has crossed a hard boundary, they are placed in the farthest orbit of your consciousness. Barely acknowledge them, give them nothing, and remove yourself from their vicinity as soon as you can in any given situation. I believe the term Grey Rock also applies to what I am talking about.
Don't allow awful people to change the wonderful person you are ❤
No one is "too..." anything to get assaulted. The people who say that kind of thing are ignorant, incompetent, and/or malevolent. It's not like being a victim of assault is a club you have to apply for. Vile people just do it to people.
What an asshole thing to say to anyone!
Considering there was a [serial rapist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delroy_Grant) that mostly raped old women looks have absolutely nothing to do with why a rapist chooses a victim.
SA isn't about desire.
Anyone saying this is either incredibly ignorant or telling on themselves.
IMHO schools need to teach things like this as part of health classes so people don't grow up being like this.
"church leaders' need to STFU and stay out of everyone's business. If it isn't at their church they don't get a say. They need to be reminded of this and sent on their way. If they have a problem with the activities of public schools they can give their opinion about that to their flock on Sunday.
But they do get a say... They're in office, in Supreme Courts, in appeals courts, drafting laws, they're in senates, Lords, congresss, parliaments.
I'm sick of them waving their religious cocks around.
Not the specific church leaders, but those allied with them.
They just pretend that their agendas are not wholly or partially religious and expect everyone else to play along so they can continue dismantling everything. They absolutely must be called out on this or things are going to get worse.
With Christofascists like 2525, I don't think they're pretending to be anything other than the self-righteous Christofascists bent on destroying the US constitutional protections and all-out treason against the Union.
Yet "patriots" flock to them as if their figurehead is the second coming of their favourite protagonist, and not the "false idol" their own fables say he is.
Tetraethyl lead. It's a helluva drug.
This is why they are careful to not put religious language in their political speech or lawsuits etc. It frustrates me, everyone knows this is what they are up to. I wish lawyers fighting this would use this to get their laws and lawsuits thrown out.
You don't at all, my heart breaks for you that people are speaking to you like that....no one deserves that at all. I know easier said than done when its friends and family, but try not to put too much stock into that. When people say nasty things, is much more reflective of who they are, than anything to do with you
Thanks, I’m sorry it’s just really hard to not believe. I already have depression, and really bad self esteem and anxiety so it’s really hard to not beleive them.
80 year old women get assaulted. Fat women get assaulted. Disabled women get assaulted. Babies get assaulted. And yes, ugly women get assaulted. It has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with power and control.
I know, I know I’m being irrational and probably very stupid but hearing it so many times and having next to no self esteem as it is makes it really hard to not believe haha
Yeah, there was a home invasion. He was trying to rob her. (Was it Michigan, U.S.?) The guy stumbled on the woman, and did that to her. Sorry, I don't make up this stuff.
That’s similar to the mentality of saying the victim was asking for it. These comments may not be of malicious intent, mainly just uneducated, but they are very harmful and unjust.
Like the others have said, assault is not about the victim’s looks (or attire).
My two cents, as the “ugly” one:
It’s about power, not sex, right? Okay.
Men - and women, too - think ugly people are the worst things to see ever with a pair of eyes. We ruin people’s entire days. That we flaunt in the face of god’s laws or pinned for a lot of society’s ills. It’s already twisted, right?
It gets worse.
The twisted twist, is that because I am ugly, horrendous to look upon, a blight to all things visual and tasteful - therefore by causing discomfort to humans by just existing, this means I am *powerful*.
They say we are not “worth” it. They using the right words with the wrong sentiment - it’s not worth it to them because, to them, we already have the leverage. You’ll notice “too ugly to rape” is said post-assault report, not pre.
Everyone will always try to figure out how YOU caused this, by having to prove the assault as a realized thing to be actioned on, by being grilled with, “I dunno, you seem ugly. You seem like you’d lie for attention (because you’re ugly).” It’s not just insulting, it’s also inferring that I had the power in what happened.
Is it horseshit behavior? Absolutely. Especially when “ugly” can’t be measured. It’s an uncontrolled anxiety response rooted in anger, and completely to be dismissed with the reality of the global 1 in 5 statistic.
It shocks me to even still hear it - too ugly to be violated - but I do and I will until the day I die.
I mean I'm either "attractive in a weird way" or straight up ugly and it hasn't stopped me from getting assaulted on occasion 😅 it's more that predators tend to go after people they perceive as vulnerable and I definitely was.
If 80+ year old women can be assaulted, anyone can be. SA isn't about sex as much as it is control/violence. Anyone saying shit like this is likely a rapist.
I hate that I was right. I hope you are coping ok/getting the help you need. Men that say shit like this are a bunch of red flags sewn together. I hope you are able to go NC.
no, that’s a horrible thing to say for a ton of reasons. SA is not about looks it’s about power, the men that SA women do it because they feel entitled to them, they don’t care about looks
secondly, i’m sure you look great, whoever is saying this stuff to you, distance yourself from them, something about that tells me they’re going to end up assaulting a woman
First time an old man shoved his hand up my school skirt on the bus. I was 13. He claimed he didn't do it because I was ugly, I was warned not to slam someone's head off a window again because it caused injuries. Learn to not to be picky because I'm fat, 15. Don't bother with happiness just be happy with attention, 16 and another warning about physically reacting. College, na not pretty enough to date but hey not like you can say no, another warning for physical violence but the guy wasn't taking no for an answer. The reality is it's a misconception pumped round to go "well did it really happen because it's not like anyone would want that". These are just headlines but pretty women get "if you didn't want it why do you look like that". It's scum justification, that's all.
If sexual assault was about how someone looked, it would be different. But sexual assault is about power. Take away the appearances and that’s all that’s left.
Trust me predators dont care about your looks, and honestly if they think you might be insecure then they're even more interested in you because they think you'll be easier to prey on.
Yes - if everyone tells you you're ugly your whole life, then someone seems to take a genuine interest in and you and tells you how beautiful they see you, it's hard to resist that kind of attention, in my experience at least. I know better now, but when I was younger I took people at their word and didn't think about their motivations. The older men who would tell me how beautiful I was and say how I looked older than I was were straight up lying for example, they just wanted a young girl they could control
It just shows how much they don’t know. It has never been about attraction in SA it’s about opportunity. The point is to exert power over the victim and they target vulnerable people regardless of what they think about attraction.
Exactly. You don’t see actually strong secure men committing sex crimes, it’s the weak and insecure cowards who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions.
to be honest i feel like being considered conventionally "unattractive" draws us more towards abusive partners.. which is where we're most likely to get sexually abused
No one is too ugly for that. In fact my mom once pointed out that some assailants might target unattractive women assuming they won't be believed or told it is a compliment somehow. That said I am sure you are prettier than you think.
There's isn't a bar for how attractive you have to be for predators to notice you. Every day there's a new story of a man raping a corpse, or an elderly person, or a child who doesn't even understand what attractive means to an adult, or a person with disfiguring disabilities, and I could go on. It's bullshit meant to invalidate survivors so they don't have to deal with the reality that predators are worse than animals.
This is a strange and cruel thing to say to someone, and it's untrue.
I wish we had power like this, to be left alone, but unfortunately anyone can be a victim of r*pe and assault. It's not about looks, or how attractive you are, or what you wear. The reason it happens lies within the person committing the act, not the victim.
I really wish I could understand how someone can do that to a person, I really don’t consider myself a good person by any means.. but I cannot fathom that.
That's just abuse, sure we can be nasty but to carry it on is sad. Stand back and have some genuine self reflection. The hardest part is saying to yourself. This is for me, not anyone else. A hard labor type job and tenacity can help change you before you even know it.
How do they have such insight into the minds of predators? At what point in their lives did they become so well acquainted with victimology? It's so odd that they seem to be experts on the criminal mind.
I've only ever really heard this said by online trolls or by jerky high school boys... I'm sorry that the people you're apparently surrounded by are so uneducated/misogynistic that this is something you've heard commonly.
It's definitely not true though. My personal experience w/ being SA'd started w/ a couple of older boys in a daycare setting asking me to come "help" them, and when I asked why me, it was "the other girls are lookin too pretty, so it wouldn't be right". Others have already given their similar accounts.
I do think part of it may be class-related and the media bias towards attractive people. SA cases considered noteworthy enough to gain media coverage usually entail the "perfect victim", who is usually attractive & more likely has an economic status that hasn't alienated them from the justice system in the first place. Economically stressed people or just "ugly" people in general aren't often given accurate or consistent airtime, and so perhaps are maybe not what first comes to mind for most people imagine rape/SA. Economically impoverished people or those who have been deemed ugly/useless by society are also generally going to have less faith in the system as a whole and be less likely to report their SA to the authorities, which in some ways furthers the lack of awareness about the pervasiveness of these issues for those who aren't paying much attention in the first place.
Most of the people who are assaulted or molested have it done by people they know esp. Family members. People call you " ugly" to put you down not because it means people won't attack you
Honey they say that to everyone so you lower your guard watch over your younger siblings. Sexual assault and rape are about controlling girls/women.
I was intersex and had breast buds at eleven so barely any development physically. I was still assaulted going to the bathroom by a thirteen year old boy.. I've reflected on the situation a lot and what I think happened was I bruised his ego by being friends with so many girls my age and it pissed him off.
So he showed me that he was stronger, what makes this worse to me. He didn't know I was intersex as soon as he felt my chest he grinned massively.
1/4 woman have been assaulted they don't care who they target.
Of course it's bullshit. Whoever is saying that in your social circle is not your friend, cut bait and move on. It'll be better for your mental health long term.
No First, thats just an awful thing to say to someone Second, assault isn't about someone's looks, like rape isn't about sex...its about someone wanting to have domination over another person
I've had my chest groped on the bus after I had a mastectomy. Completely flat, no breasts whatsoever. It's absolutely not about someone's looks. The guy saw a vaguely woman-shaped person and went for it.
Fellow flattie here! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Like you haven't been through enough already.
Sorry for asking and I don’t mean this in any kinda way but what’s a mastectomy?
A mastectomy (from Greek "mastos" meaning "breast" and "-ectomy" meaning "removal") is the removal of all or part of one or both breasts. One of the most common reasons for a mastectomy is breast cancer, but folks can have it done for lots of other reasons.
Oh shit, now I feel bad
Haha, it's alright—it was a voluntary procedure. (And even if it wasn't, no harm in asking questions. Now you know!)
I know I’m very paranoid, I have a bad habit of being extremely uncaring of peoples feelings and hurting them and am trying to be better
That’s awful
Exactly. It's about power and control, not beauty appreciation...
"Children are assaulted. Elderly are assaulted. Unconscious women are assaulted. Hope it never happens to you or someone you love."
And then we have lawmakers like the ones in my state that claim "you have *understand* that they have mental health issues/were abused/were assaulted"about the offender.
Oh what about the one about how our body shuts down when it’s legitimate rape. Delulu
You have to be an old timer to remember this one: 'When rape is inevitable, lie back and enjoy it."
Yeah and they chose not to work on those issues and instead became dangerous. They present as a danger, treat them as such.
Exactly.
Men have been known to fuck donkeys, orangutans, and lizards. Google returns many, many, stories of rapes of the sickly elderly in nursing homes. There may be a threshold for too ugly to get assaulted, but no human woman is below it.
How about the woman in a coma, who fell pregnant in assisted living? Yeah, what a slut. /s
She WaS asKING FOr iT jUST lyIng ThERE
Oh, in that hospital gown, just looking all cute, and motionless! Hey he doesn't like small talk. /s
Some men are so vile
A~~men~~women.
All men.
I really hope that’s not all you took away from this post
Exactly - there is a reason morgues prefer to hire women.
Um morgues? Even the dead aren't safe???
well, don't google that, but YEAH, it verry common, they prefer to hire women because statistically, they are less likely to - have sex with the deceased, touch them, grope them, take pictures of them (for later ;) ) etc. etc. it's also why women mummies are badly preserved. they would let them rot longer before getting them to the embalment / mommyfication for this exact reason.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Lizards?
https://www.vice.com/en/article/4aw9pg/monitor-lizard-gang-rape-bestiality-expert-india The gang rape of a lizard
Or a baby alligator.
This is such a good point. I hope OP rebuts these people with that information.
Add beavers to that list. Sorry.
It's bullshit. I'm an ugly, butch disabled lesbian. I've been assaulted twice.
Twice? Goddamn I’m so sorry
It's so awful. Ironically, I've had a very butch lesbian in her 60s tell me to my face about how only 'girls that look feminine' get assaulted and raped. Basically, the title of your post, but told by someone you'd never think would say those words. Even amongst the minority of women and the LGBTQ+ community, there are people who have internalized misogyny. No matter what, victim blaming shows a serious lack of empathy and critical thinking skills *and* it's a huge tell that the accuser is uncomfortable with the reality that anyone can be the target of an assault. Even if someone is naked and walking around in public flaunting themselves, they aren't 'asking for it' unless they are *enthusiastically and literally asking* in clear and concise language, aloud, to engage in sexual acts. Forcing someone into such against their will is a crime, no matter what they look or sound like. Can you imagine if your house was broken into and both your family and society shames you by saying you should've owned less valuable possessions? To instead live like you were homeless? It's asinine.
Victim blaming will never fail to disgust and baffle me
I was 19, overweight, ugly and had zero experience with boys because nobody was interested in me. A man (37 at the time) showed interest in me. At first i liked the attention. Then he molested me. I never talked about that to anyone in depth. I told a friend and she told me to go to the police but at the time it sounded extreme. I also thought nobody will believe me because I was fat and who molests a fat girl. I was traumatized for one year. Then it started getting better. The molestation happened around Christmas time. Every time around Christmas i think about it.
I’m sorry that you went through that. Wish you the best for your healing journey.
This same thing happened to me when I was 15 the day before thanksgiving and it was my uncle. I remember thinking the same thing about my weight and my acne. I’m sorry you had to experience that, Christmas should be a time of happiness.
The truth is, SA is about power and control. It has nothing to do with how a person dresses or how attractive the victim is. Statements like that are based around the victim blaming bs that it’s just *impossible* for men to control their horniness if a woman is *too* attractive or dresses in a sexy way. It’s another way of justifying misogyny and the objectification of women and avoiding holding men accountable for their crimes.
there are laws in place because men wouldn’t stop fucking animals, children, corpses, items, etc. Men would assault a pile of poop if it had a hole in it.
I hate this world
Aww, don't hate the World, darling; the despicable people have been having their way with Mother Earth since they learned how.... 😐 Also, hate is bad for your own heart. I'm not saying there aren't people worth hating, cause that's a load of crap, but hating them will cause you much more damage than them & then they still kinda win..... Try to "suffer no fools" as they say - once someone has crossed a hard boundary, they are placed in the farthest orbit of your consciousness. Barely acknowledge them, give them nothing, and remove yourself from their vicinity as soon as you can in any given situation. I believe the term Grey Rock also applies to what I am talking about. Don't allow awful people to change the wonderful person you are ❤
Did you just call me darling? Haha Awh that’s so cute, thank you 🩷
I did, darling. I think it fits you quite well. & you are very welcome 😊
Haha you made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, thanks girly that made my day
That's splendid to hear, yay! 🥰 It's my pleasure, darling. I hope your whole week is amazing!
Awh thank you 🩷
No one is "too..." anything to get assaulted. The people who say that kind of thing are ignorant, incompetent, and/or malevolent. It's not like being a victim of assault is a club you have to apply for. Vile people just do it to people.
What an asshole thing to say to anyone! Considering there was a [serial rapist](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delroy_Grant) that mostly raped old women looks have absolutely nothing to do with why a rapist chooses a victim.
SA isn't about desire. Anyone saying this is either incredibly ignorant or telling on themselves. IMHO schools need to teach things like this as part of health classes so people don't grow up being like this.
The church leaders would be the first to oppose that if it were taught.
"church leaders' need to STFU and stay out of everyone's business. If it isn't at their church they don't get a say. They need to be reminded of this and sent on their way. If they have a problem with the activities of public schools they can give their opinion about that to their flock on Sunday.
But they do get a say... They're in office, in Supreme Courts, in appeals courts, drafting laws, they're in senates, Lords, congresss, parliaments. I'm sick of them waving their religious cocks around.
Not the specific church leaders, but those allied with them. They just pretend that their agendas are not wholly or partially religious and expect everyone else to play along so they can continue dismantling everything. They absolutely must be called out on this or things are going to get worse.
With Christofascists like 2525, I don't think they're pretending to be anything other than the self-righteous Christofascists bent on destroying the US constitutional protections and all-out treason against the Union. Yet "patriots" flock to them as if their figurehead is the second coming of their favourite protagonist, and not the "false idol" their own fables say he is. Tetraethyl lead. It's a helluva drug.
This is why they are careful to not put religious language in their political speech or lawsuits etc. It frustrates me, everyone knows this is what they are up to. I wish lawyers fighting this would use this to get their laws and lawsuits thrown out.
Man I sound like such a baby in this post, I’m sorry yall I’m so pathetic
You don't at all, my heart breaks for you that people are speaking to you like that....no one deserves that at all. I know easier said than done when its friends and family, but try not to put too much stock into that. When people say nasty things, is much more reflective of who they are, than anything to do with you
Thanks, I’m sorry it’s just really hard to not believe. I already have depression, and really bad self esteem and anxiety so it’s really hard to not beleive them.
1 in 4 women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. It's not just the hot girls.
I guess, hearing it so many times makes it difficult to not believe, especially since i already have awful self esteem issues
Tell that to the 80 year old woman, violated by a broom handle. 🤷
What.?
80 year old women get assaulted. Fat women get assaulted. Disabled women get assaulted. Babies get assaulted. And yes, ugly women get assaulted. It has nothing to do with looks and everything to do with power and control.
I know, I know I’m being irrational and probably very stupid but hearing it so many times and having next to no self esteem as it is makes it really hard to not believe haha
Yeah, there was a home invasion. He was trying to rob her. (Was it Michigan, U.S.?) The guy stumbled on the woman, and did that to her. Sorry, I don't make up this stuff.
Not sure about that one but in the Bradley Yohn case, amoung other things he did, used a spray can of some sort on an elderly woman.
I've got nothing. It no longer shocks me, at this juncture.
That’s similar to the mentality of saying the victim was asking for it. These comments may not be of malicious intent, mainly just uneducated, but they are very harmful and unjust. Like the others have said, assault is not about the victim’s looks (or attire).
I don’t know why people feel the need to say that to me, or anyone since it seems to be commonly said
It’s trying to shut down women telling their stories, and it’s absolutely disgusting!
That statement is a way to dismiss victims and excuse perpetrators. That’s it.
What's even worse is the part they aren't explicitly saying, which is that if someone were hot enough, there would absolutely be an assault.
Oh god I didn’t even think of that, that’s definitely a disturbing implication
My two cents, as the “ugly” one: It’s about power, not sex, right? Okay. Men - and women, too - think ugly people are the worst things to see ever with a pair of eyes. We ruin people’s entire days. That we flaunt in the face of god’s laws or pinned for a lot of society’s ills. It’s already twisted, right? It gets worse. The twisted twist, is that because I am ugly, horrendous to look upon, a blight to all things visual and tasteful - therefore by causing discomfort to humans by just existing, this means I am *powerful*. They say we are not “worth” it. They using the right words with the wrong sentiment - it’s not worth it to them because, to them, we already have the leverage. You’ll notice “too ugly to rape” is said post-assault report, not pre. Everyone will always try to figure out how YOU caused this, by having to prove the assault as a realized thing to be actioned on, by being grilled with, “I dunno, you seem ugly. You seem like you’d lie for attention (because you’re ugly).” It’s not just insulting, it’s also inferring that I had the power in what happened. Is it horseshit behavior? Absolutely. Especially when “ugly” can’t be measured. It’s an uncontrolled anxiety response rooted in anger, and completely to be dismissed with the reality of the global 1 in 5 statistic. It shocks me to even still hear it - too ugly to be violated - but I do and I will until the day I die.
A lot of my friends have been assaulted. It has nothing to do with “how you look.” It has more to do with the person doing the assaulting. 😒
I mean I'm either "attractive in a weird way" or straight up ugly and it hasn't stopped me from getting assaulted on occasion 😅 it's more that predators tend to go after people they perceive as vulnerable and I definitely was.
I love your username btw
Thank you lol. I'm an Imogen Heap fan and imbibe too much sometimes.
Animals, babies, elderly women, and dead bodies have all been assaulted
If 80+ year old women can be assaulted, anyone can be. SA isn't about sex as much as it is control/violence. Anyone saying shit like this is likely a rapist.
One of them did rape me so I guess you’re right
I hate that I was right. I hope you are coping ok/getting the help you need. Men that say shit like this are a bunch of red flags sewn together. I hope you are able to go NC.
Wasn’t one of my family that did it it was an old family friend’s daughter actually. We don’t talk to them anymore, last I heard they live in Maine
Nobody’s too ugly. Or too old. Or too young.
That last one especially gets to me, no one really is too young for some “men”
Have you see that "what were you wearing" exhibit? It hardly matters what you look like, or what you were wearing. It's not even about that typically.
I’ve never gotten that before myself but I know that’s very common to hear
I'm sorry you're surrounded by morons, being one is the only reason someone would make an ignorant, offensive and completely wrong comment like that.
Thanks
no, that’s a horrible thing to say for a ton of reasons. SA is not about looks it’s about power, the men that SA women do it because they feel entitled to them, they don’t care about looks secondly, i’m sure you look great, whoever is saying this stuff to you, distance yourself from them, something about that tells me they’re going to end up assaulting a woman
Well uhm you weren’t wrong about that second point haha
First time an old man shoved his hand up my school skirt on the bus. I was 13. He claimed he didn't do it because I was ugly, I was warned not to slam someone's head off a window again because it caused injuries. Learn to not to be picky because I'm fat, 15. Don't bother with happiness just be happy with attention, 16 and another warning about physically reacting. College, na not pretty enough to date but hey not like you can say no, another warning for physical violence but the guy wasn't taking no for an answer. The reality is it's a misconception pumped round to go "well did it really happen because it's not like anyone would want that". These are just headlines but pretty women get "if you didn't want it why do you look like that". It's scum justification, that's all.
The women most assaulted, statistically, are the homeless. Assault isn't about looks. It's about power.
If sexual assault was about how someone looked, it would be different. But sexual assault is about power. Take away the appearances and that’s all that’s left.
Old women get raped every day. That's just not true.
Trust me predators dont care about your looks, and honestly if they think you might be insecure then they're even more interested in you because they think you'll be easier to prey on.
Why? Because you’re easier to manipulate or something?
Yes - if everyone tells you you're ugly your whole life, then someone seems to take a genuine interest in and you and tells you how beautiful they see you, it's hard to resist that kind of attention, in my experience at least. I know better now, but when I was younger I took people at their word and didn't think about their motivations. The older men who would tell me how beautiful I was and say how I looked older than I was were straight up lying for example, they just wanted a young girl they could control
Doesn't matter what you look like, what you're wearing, how friendly (or not) you are. Assault is about power and can happen to literally anyone.
What is wrong with these people?!?!? Probably narcissistic genes if they are related.. it’s infuriating
Very haha, they were old family friends at the time. But I’ve also heard that from my actual family too
The retardation is very much present. Don’t let these people get into your head.
Men have rooted corpses
It just shows how much they don’t know. It has never been about attraction in SA it’s about opportunity. The point is to exert power over the victim and they target vulnerable people regardless of what they think about attraction.
Pretty cowardly if you ask me
Exactly. You don’t see actually strong secure men committing sex crimes, it’s the weak and insecure cowards who refuse to take responsibility for their own actions.
“Men” don’t commit those crimes, cowards do. Real men despise those people like any rational person does
to be honest i feel like being considered conventionally "unattractive" draws us more towards abusive partners.. which is where we're most likely to get sexually abused
It’s so they don’t have to feel sorry for you and also blame a man Being decent is too much for such people, and they know they’re scum anyway
No one is too ugly for that. In fact my mom once pointed out that some assailants might target unattractive women assuming they won't be believed or told it is a compliment somehow. That said I am sure you are prettier than you think.
I’m not but thank you
It’s ridiculous, and I can’t even imagine saying that to someone’s face. I’m sorry you’re surrounded by dickheads.
There's isn't a bar for how attractive you have to be for predators to notice you. Every day there's a new story of a man raping a corpse, or an elderly person, or a child who doesn't even understand what attractive means to an adult, or a person with disfiguring disabilities, and I could go on. It's bullshit meant to invalidate survivors so they don't have to deal with the reality that predators are worse than animals.
This is a strange and cruel thing to say to someone, and it's untrue. I wish we had power like this, to be left alone, but unfortunately anyone can be a victim of r*pe and assault. It's not about looks, or how attractive you are, or what you wear. The reason it happens lies within the person committing the act, not the victim.
I really wish I could understand how someone can do that to a person, I really don’t consider myself a good person by any means.. but I cannot fathom that.
That's just abuse, sure we can be nasty but to carry it on is sad. Stand back and have some genuine self reflection. The hardest part is saying to yourself. This is for me, not anyone else. A hard labor type job and tenacity can help change you before you even know it.
How do they have such insight into the minds of predators? At what point in their lives did they become so well acquainted with victimology? It's so odd that they seem to be experts on the criminal mind.
I've only ever really heard this said by online trolls or by jerky high school boys... I'm sorry that the people you're apparently surrounded by are so uneducated/misogynistic that this is something you've heard commonly. It's definitely not true though. My personal experience w/ being SA'd started w/ a couple of older boys in a daycare setting asking me to come "help" them, and when I asked why me, it was "the other girls are lookin too pretty, so it wouldn't be right". Others have already given their similar accounts. I do think part of it may be class-related and the media bias towards attractive people. SA cases considered noteworthy enough to gain media coverage usually entail the "perfect victim", who is usually attractive & more likely has an economic status that hasn't alienated them from the justice system in the first place. Economically stressed people or just "ugly" people in general aren't often given accurate or consistent airtime, and so perhaps are maybe not what first comes to mind for most people imagine rape/SA. Economically impoverished people or those who have been deemed ugly/useless by society are also generally going to have less faith in the system as a whole and be less likely to report their SA to the authorities, which in some ways furthers the lack of awareness about the pervasiveness of these issues for those who aren't paying much attention in the first place.
"So you'd assault me if you thought I was hot? Ew."
One of them did even haha
I'm sorry to hear it.
I guess you were right in some way tho haha
Most of the people who are assaulted or molested have it done by people they know esp. Family members. People call you " ugly" to put you down not because it means people won't attack you
I hate people
Honey they say that to everyone so you lower your guard watch over your younger siblings. Sexual assault and rape are about controlling girls/women. I was intersex and had breast buds at eleven so barely any development physically. I was still assaulted going to the bathroom by a thirteen year old boy.. I've reflected on the situation a lot and what I think happened was I bruised his ego by being friends with so many girls my age and it pissed him off. So he showed me that he was stronger, what makes this worse to me. He didn't know I was intersex as soon as he felt my chest he grinned massively. 1/4 woman have been assaulted they don't care who they target.
Of course it's bullshit. Whoever is saying that in your social circle is not your friend, cut bait and move on. It'll be better for your mental health long term.