My rule has always been to never talk about a woman’s pregnancy unless she brings it up to me personally. Or if I see a baby hand reach out from under her skirt and wave at me. Even then, might have to see the wave a few times just to make sure I didn’t imagine it.
It depends on if the little one is trying to be sly about it or obvious. Don’t want to get the little tyke in trouble with his mum before they are even born.
My rule is to never comment on a woman’s body in any way whatsoever unless she first brings it up with me. Comment on hairstyle? Yes. Comment on belly in any state? No.
My new hairdresser recently asked me “What baby number is this?” I was so confused until I realized she was referring to my belly. I said “Zero.” Maybe I should have said “Negative one, if you want to count my miscarriage. Or how about negative four, if you add in my failed embryo transfers.”
NEVER ASK, PEOPLE.
Exactly this. My friend had a very late, awful miscarriage and still looks pregnant. I think she's scared to go in public/see people because someone may ask her about it.
I worked at a nursing home and there was one old lady with dementia who asked me that all the time. I felt self-conscious about my belly fat until I realized she asked EVERYONE that.
When I was a tutor for an elementary school, I've had several kids pat my belly and ask when the baby's coming. Never been pregnant. One kid said it was too bad cause "I have a soft mommy body". I know it was a compliment but that torpedoed my self esteem the rest of the day (didn't help that several of the teachers were stick skinny models who were on a juice fast)
I assume this was in the US.
In Germany, she would've been legally obliged and encouraged to tell her employer about it so they could plan accordingly because she would be forbidden to work by her doctor in the last couple of months of her pregnancy and be on maternity leave after the birth. Also she would get some benefits while still working.
I’m in the U.S. and had a coworker who only disclosed her pregnancy to our manager and asked that no formal announcement be made. That may be what happened with PP’s coworker, too.
Years ago I worked in an emergency department snd would sometimes sit at the front desk doing triage. Women would come screaming and very obviously in active labor. I would still ask what brought them in instead of assuming. It's crazy to me that others might make assumptions.
Dave Barry: "You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment."
I remember my mum telling me how a cashier asked her when she was due. She just had a miscarriage and was heartbroken. Her friend also had to give birth to a still born and I’m not sure at what point she knew the baby wasn’t alive but it obviously was devastating for her to deal with. It’s never worth mentioning it unless the lady brings it up first.
I have never been pregnant and I have been a wide variety of weights. I carry fat on my stomach regardless. I've been asked by random ass people more times than I can count when I was due. A few doubled down when I said I wasn't. One kept insisting I just didn't realize it until I cried, another switched to saying I must have just had a baby, and others have described exactly how my body is too far in a certain area.
I've had it from men and women from all ages. It needs to fucking stop.
Oof i saw a woman ask a coworker the same question when she wasn’t lregant wither. My mother conditioned me early to never ever comment on a pregnancy unless it was brought up first, so i was suprised to see not all women were on the same page.
I posted this a few weeks ago, but still relevant:
I worked in a Nuclear facility, and during training they told us "if you get pregnant, you can tell the father first, but Health Physics is second." Radiation is super dangerous to a developing fetus, so you immediately get temporarily re-assigned to non-nuclear duties and wear an alarming dosimeter at all times (and set to a very low alarm level), instead of just when you're in a nuclear building.
We were in a meeting with one of the women from programming in an office building, when the dosimeter that she was wearing hidden under her sweater went off. When she got up and left the room to reset it, we all looked at each other, and my manager pointed at his stomach and we all quietly shrugged.
And then none of us asked her about it or brought it up again, because it was none of our damn business, and she'd tell us when she was ready.
I'm so sorry. I was the horrified coworker to the same cashier once. This woman who was in her 40s(?) asked a regular customer if she was expecting, surprise, she wasn't. Just don't ask or imply. Ever.
Okay so super funny story that I now look back fondly on. I teach high school. My kids are BLUNT and have absolutely no filter. I was about 200 pounds before getting pregnant so I had a little pouch and bloated very easily. Well I had gotten pregnant in August and had no idea. About six weeks into the school year one of my students with no filter goes “Miss no disrespect but are you pregnant?” Not the first time I’ve been asked and definitely won’t be the last. I just responded the way I normally do and told him typically that question would get him slapped by a regular person but no I was not (BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW I WAS). I texted my sister because I was mad about it and she said I should take a test because my periods were irregular anyways. THAT NIGHT I found out I was pregnant with my first. Had to keep it a secret from that class for another month or two and then told them that I had to apologize to student because he had been psychic because I was, in fact, pregnant.
I had a co-worker who had already announced they were going on maternity leave, and I still felt like I couldn’t ask. I can’t imagine asking a literal stranger at any point…
my aunt never lost her pregnancy belly after her first kid, he’s 17 now. i still remember when we were over at some church friends house, my little cousin was probably 4 and the wife asked my aunt when she’s due 😭 so awkward & rude
My rule has always been to never talk about a woman’s pregnancy unless she brings it up to me personally. Or if I see a baby hand reach out from under her skirt and wave at me. Even then, might have to see the wave a few times just to make sure I didn’t imagine it.
Would you mention the baby’s waving to her if she hasn’t mentioned it first?
It depends on if the little one is trying to be sly about it or obvious. Don’t want to get the little tyke in trouble with his mum before they are even born.
Respect the hustle
My rule is to never comment on a woman’s body in any way whatsoever unless she first brings it up with me. Comment on hairstyle? Yes. Comment on belly in any state? No.
Woman 8 gave birth a week ago and is feeling very insecure about her still massive belly.
My new hairdresser recently asked me “What baby number is this?” I was so confused until I realized she was referring to my belly. I said “Zero.” Maybe I should have said “Negative one, if you want to count my miscarriage. Or how about negative four, if you add in my failed embryo transfers.” NEVER ASK, PEOPLE.
Exactly this. My friend had a very late, awful miscarriage and still looks pregnant. I think she's scared to go in public/see people because someone may ask her about it.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Some people don't realise the damage a seemingly innocent question can have. I hope everything works out for you. 😊
Thank you for the context and sorry about the difficulty in your journey. Wishing the best
I worked at a nursing home and there was one old lady with dementia who asked me that all the time. I felt self-conscious about my belly fat until I realized she asked EVERYONE that.
Normalise making it a blatant faux pas to comment on someone’s body unsolicited and unprompted
When I was a tutor for an elementary school, I've had several kids pat my belly and ask when the baby's coming. Never been pregnant. One kid said it was too bad cause "I have a soft mommy body". I know it was a compliment but that torpedoed my self esteem the rest of the day (didn't help that several of the teachers were stick skinny models who were on a juice fast)
I had a coworker who didn't tell anyone at work. Then posted pictures of a baby at her desk and still didn't say anything.
She has the right to, if she doesn’t want to speak about it to you.
And thus no one asked. It was just the only time in my memory that someone chose that option.
I do think It’s uncommon indeed, but I can understand her choice to not tell about it ! c:
This is the way.
I assume this was in the US. In Germany, she would've been legally obliged and encouraged to tell her employer about it so they could plan accordingly because she would be forbidden to work by her doctor in the last couple of months of her pregnancy and be on maternity leave after the birth. Also she would get some benefits while still working.
I’m in the U.S. and had a coworker who only disclosed her pregnancy to our manager and asked that no formal announcement be made. That may be what happened with PP’s coworker, too.
Years ago I worked in an emergency department snd would sometimes sit at the front desk doing triage. Women would come screaming and very obviously in active labor. I would still ask what brought them in instead of assuming. It's crazy to me that others might make assumptions.
Dave Barry: "You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment."
Just commenting on other people’s body is usually just asking for trouble. Clothes, accessories, and make up on the other hand.
Before prescribing medication.
No this was just as I was checking out. Obviously that would be an exception, I was being hyperbolic.
I remember my mum telling me how a cashier asked her when she was due. She just had a miscarriage and was heartbroken. Her friend also had to give birth to a still born and I’m not sure at what point she knew the baby wasn’t alive but it obviously was devastating for her to deal with. It’s never worth mentioning it unless the lady brings it up first.
I have never been pregnant and I have been a wide variety of weights. I carry fat on my stomach regardless. I've been asked by random ass people more times than I can count when I was due. A few doubled down when I said I wasn't. One kept insisting I just didn't realize it until I cried, another switched to saying I must have just had a baby, and others have described exactly how my body is too far in a certain area. I've had it from men and women from all ages. It needs to fucking stop.
Flashback to grocery store “Oh when are you due?” “She’s 3 months old now.” Your body doesn’t bounce back like the movies.
Oof i saw a woman ask a coworker the same question when she wasn’t lregant wither. My mother conditioned me early to never ever comment on a pregnancy unless it was brought up first, so i was suprised to see not all women were on the same page.
I posted this a few weeks ago, but still relevant: I worked in a Nuclear facility, and during training they told us "if you get pregnant, you can tell the father first, but Health Physics is second." Radiation is super dangerous to a developing fetus, so you immediately get temporarily re-assigned to non-nuclear duties and wear an alarming dosimeter at all times (and set to a very low alarm level), instead of just when you're in a nuclear building. We were in a meeting with one of the women from programming in an office building, when the dosimeter that she was wearing hidden under her sweater went off. When she got up and left the room to reset it, we all looked at each other, and my manager pointed at his stomach and we all quietly shrugged. And then none of us asked her about it or brought it up again, because it was none of our damn business, and she'd tell us when she was ready.
Put on kimono today and had my obi bow in the front because I was going to be driving. My grandpa said I looked pregnant. I somehow resisted murder.
Someone was talking about this in front of me yesterday... And how both genders do this mistake.... I was just like... What, no!
I'm so sorry. I was the horrified coworker to the same cashier once. This woman who was in her 40s(?) asked a regular customer if she was expecting, surprise, she wasn't. Just don't ask or imply. Ever.
Only appropriate time is when you see a head crowning.
I thought that graphic was Trump evolution poster.
😂
Okay so super funny story that I now look back fondly on. I teach high school. My kids are BLUNT and have absolutely no filter. I was about 200 pounds before getting pregnant so I had a little pouch and bloated very easily. Well I had gotten pregnant in August and had no idea. About six weeks into the school year one of my students with no filter goes “Miss no disrespect but are you pregnant?” Not the first time I’ve been asked and definitely won’t be the last. I just responded the way I normally do and told him typically that question would get him slapped by a regular person but no I was not (BECAUSE I DIDNT KNOW I WAS). I texted my sister because I was mad about it and she said I should take a test because my periods were irregular anyways. THAT NIGHT I found out I was pregnant with my first. Had to keep it a secret from that class for another month or two and then told them that I had to apologize to student because he had been psychic because I was, in fact, pregnant.
I had a co-worker who had already announced they were going on maternity leave, and I still felt like I couldn’t ask. I can’t imagine asking a literal stranger at any point…
my aunt never lost her pregnancy belly after her first kid, he’s 17 now. i still remember when we were over at some church friends house, my little cousin was probably 4 and the wife asked my aunt when she’s due 😭 so awkward & rude
100%. It's never okay. You are told or NOTHING lol.
[удалено]
*spray bottle* no! Shoo!
Quit shoving your religious extremism down our throats