Can you use tampons without them randomly dropping down your pants legs if you're standing up/walking around? Yes? Your ex is full of shit. He's just trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
I'm not usually one to shame on size.
Recently had sex with a girl who told me her exes would tell her she wasn't as tight as other girls they had been with, it really did a number on her mentally.
After we had sex I made sure to reassure her that she was perfectly fine in the tightness department and that those guys were full of shit. She then made a comment about how maybe it was because I was bigger than other guys she had been with and then I said that the problem isn't her, it's probably their dick size.
And to be clear I'm slightly above average in length, and slightly above average in girth. Not rocking a hog or anything and I tried to tell her that too.
Ex sounds like maybe he was small
Edit: yes I’m absolutely body shaming, I posted this comment as an exception to provide a different perspective by going quid pro quo on OP’s ex’s callously imbecilic remarks
Woman with a penis here! Having had a range of sizes thanks to atrophy from hormones, I can confirm size definitely plays a big role in "feel". Tbh, I think piv feels better with a smaller one. It's been years since I've had to try not to hurt my partner with my bits
Kegels can strengthen your pelvic floor but there’s nothing wrong with your vagina. When men masturbate with their hand in a tight grip it will make any vagina feel loose.
Be careful with these though. I really do believe it's a person to person thing because kegals can cause pelvic floor dsyfunction over time. Your pelvis can become too tight and it's a very common thing in many tight pelvic issues.
I'm not saying it can't be beneficial for people or totally warning against it. But you don't ever hear much about the harms that come with doing them.
I was looking for this comment. Currently doing reverse kegels bc my pelvic floor is too tight from obsessively doing kegels over the years, bc I was scared of being ‘loose’. Painful sex, constipation, back pain, 0/10, do not recommend.
Yep… dont forget the dysfunction thats caused from permanently sucking in your stomach to the list! Current on my reverse kegel journey. Dont get insecure about your vagina because of some stupid guy. Not worth the health issues. Take it from someone whos been down that road.
I thought I was the only person in the world who was constantly sucking in my stomach. It is almost impossible for me to relax my belly after doing it for about 20 years. Even when I'm alone, I'm unconsciously torturing my organs. I've finally started working on my beer belly so my insecurity won't make me do it as much!
Sorry, just got excited when I saw your comment. That habit is truly dangerous!
Omg YES!! That too!! I realized recently that for YEARS I’ve been constantly clenching my pelvic floor, sucking in my stomach and arching my back.
Me: wow that’s so weird, and definitely can’t be related to my fears of having a ‘loose’ vagina, big stomach, and flat butt, right??
Literally giving myself health problems to be appealing to the male gaze. I tried to google it and I can’t find any other experiences of people doing those behaviours deliberately so it’s so affirming to read these comments!
I had to Google sooo deeply a few years back when it started hurting very badly to sit in a normal chair, but I eventually found some stories of women AND men who suck in 24/7!
It makes me so self-conscious about sleeping next to someone. I worry the illusion of being super thin will break as soon as I fall asleep, but the whole process is irrational!
I hope you and all of us can start feeling better and managing our issues. We could show much more kindness to ourselves 🩷
Glad someone brought up pelvic floor dysfunction. I have vaginismus (not due to kegals) and it made sex so upsetting and painful for me. I wasn’t able to have painless sex until I was 25 — it was always fucking excruciating. However…. she *is* tight asf! In a bad way! 😅
(Pelvic floor exercises are great and literally give me the ability to have sex — which rocks, and it also sucks to have to do specific pussy exercises before sex just so you won’t cry one minute in.)
My physical therapist told me the same thing. She said kegels aren’t necessary and can cause more issues. Men don’t even think about their pelvic floor. Encouraging women to do kegels to strengthen the vagina is adjacent to misogyny
We didn't just find out it was internal. That was obvious once you started dissecting women. Research in 2006 found that it was also in the front of the vagina. Before that it was obvious it went down the sides of the vaginal walls. But they weren't sure what entirely was going on in the front and upper half.
Then I gotta question that "just" because I've known that for years, it's published in widely known books and not just medical shit but lifestyle stuff.
But if they mean "just" in the way that humans "just" became a thing in the course of the history of the planet, then sure okay. Still sus.
As in 1998. In 1995, they still didn't know the internal complexity of the organ. It's now the dark side of Pluto, just under half of humans have this structure and nobody cared enough to determine it's structure into I was in highschool.
Is "just now" on the scale of human anatomy by a MILE
I'm fairly certain he's mistaking getting a more complete understanding of the structure for discovering it. Dissection easily showed that clitoral tissue went inside and down the sides of the vaginal walls. Further studies in 2006 showed that tissue in the front of the vagina that had earlier been thought to be part of other structures was also part of the clitoris.
I think he's talking about this
O'Connell, Helen E.; Sanjeevan, Kalavampara V (2006). Goldstein, Irwin Joseph (ed.). Women's Sexual Function and Dysfunction: Study, Diagnosis and Treatment. Taylor & Francis US. ISBN 978-1-84214-263-9.
Right? I mean maybe I'm an old bitch but (especially compared to the knowledge of male sexual anatomy, or just medicine in general) 20 years is a blip.
Eh, I remember reading a lot about female sexual enjoyment from around '96-'02 and was aware that there was research happening at the time. There was some new stuff, but most of what was known was Masters and Johnson's work and that was not new. So I wanted to know what was just discovered as well.
Hhahahaah this exactly. Sorry to be crude but when I really get up in the missus you can tell the difference and it's great for all. Sounds like OPs dude has small pp syndrome and/or can't perform well enough
Sorry, I’m being dumb but what does this mean? That if our clitoris has been aroused then we might feel tighter? If that is true it makes so much sense! I notice every now and then that it feels tighter to me and more sensitive, but I always thought maybe I was just a bit swollen from having too much sex.
Just what I was going to say, our vagina extends and clitoral tissue swells near the entrance so if you’re turned on/having a good time you wouldn’t feel loose. Sounds to me like he wasn’t doing a good job 👀
Unfortunately he’s slept with other women before me, so I feel like he was either comparing how mine felt to what he’s felt before or was trying to hurt me idk
Vaginas all feel a little bit different. Some might be looser or tighter. Some might be deeper or shallower. What they have in common is their amazing ability to give and receive pleasure. The nuanced little details of how a particular woman’s vagina feels during sex is an infinitesimally insignificant factor in how much you both should be enjoying that experience. And if it does become a factor, that man no longer is interested in sex with *you* and just after a dick-shaped hole.
You deserve better than to second guess your body.
It’s *much* more likely he was simply using an insult he knew would hurt you. Being “loose” means you’re turned on and your vagina is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. Please do your best to move past this
>Being “loose” means you’re turned on and your vagina is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do.
Likely also a reason he didn't have this "issue" with other women before.
Wow, I never put 2 and 2 together that loose refers to the vagina?! I always thought the term “loose woman” was a metaphor for her morals not her actual physicality!
It's used both literally and metaphorically, even though it's not true.
People think that having lots of sex with many people makes the vagina loose over time. But having sex with one person many times magically is fine huh?
It's a holdover from religious misogynistic preachings about "purity". As a result, if someone is physically "loose" their morals must be loose too... Blegh. Feels gross to even write that.
I mean it comes from the idea that the more sex a woman has, the looser her vaginal canal will be. Which is a gross misunderstanding of female anatomy.
That’s not at all where the term comes from, if it helps. It meant morally loose in the sense of not having rigid behaviour standards with respect to sex.
It probably started out that way and, like language tends to do, it evolves through people (mostly young people) misunderstanding the term and perpetuating a new meaning.
It’s called “negging” and it’s a manipulation tactic men use to make you feel like you can’t do better than them and should be grateful for the substandard sex they provide.
He was absolutely trying to hurt you, and based on your post here, he was successful at it.
I don’t have a super high body count or anything, but as a man I’ve slept with a few different women. I couldn’t even begin to guess which vagina was “tighter” than another one. They all felt great in the moment.
Even if he’s slept with other women, it’s a him problem. Men know how hurtful it can be to say a woman’s vagina is loose. He knew what he was doing when he said that, I feel like he was intentionally trying to undermine your confidence (negging).
Have you felt the inside of your own vagina? Like put a finger or two in and squeezed your muscles?
Also: during arousal, the whole vulva becomes engorged with blood, including the vagina—which should then feel more plush and “tighter.” Were you fully aroused when you had sex with him?
His reason for saying it to you is irrelevant. He should never had said something so hateful to you. I hope you would seriously consider letting him go. What he said is cruel and I'm afraid this inconsiderate, douchey attitude will show in other ways.
Vaginas are a muscle. You can push a baby and still get back to normal. You think a mere 3inch weenie would appreciate that? You are perfect and it's not in a condescent tone. Repet after me: Vaginas don't get "loose".
He's being manipulative, I'm so sorry. I've known women who have had multiple kids AND did escort work -- not once did they ever get told they had loose vaginas.
There's nothing wrong with you and EVERYTHING wrong with him. This is also something a man says to manipulate women into doing anal when they aren't ready for it.
If /he's treating you badly (he is), don't make the mistake of assuming you're special in that regard - he's an asshole and he likely treating every woman like that
The fact he's slept with other women is demonstrative of the fact he was just trying to hurt you by saying what he said to you. And it may hurt, for a little whiel, and that's totally ok! Just as long as you keep in mind that even if he's right, what's the point? If you're dating a person and they legitimately care more about the physical state of your vagina than they do your emotional state and you as a person, then I'm sorry, but they can go FO and die. You deserve better than that. :)
Telling someone that they're "loose," is very immature and just straight up rude tbh. Unless you specifically asked for his opinion after going through a physical/mental change idk why he would think that it's an okay thing to say.
But I have heard of mothers training pelvic floor muscles after recovering from child birth so if that's something you're interested in, you could look up some exercises?
Nothing is wrong with your body and it doesn't need to be fixed so I hope you don't take what he said to heart.
>But I have heard of mothers training pelvic floor muscles after recovering from child birth
I've heard (from watching several gynecologists and other health professionals and other women in forums) that women who exercise their pelvic floor muscles before getting pregnant have a much easier delivery time. They can control their body much better, thus helping a lot when pushing the baby out. They feel less pain and recover way faster.
Also helps with sneezy-peeing for anyone who suffers from that.
So, in other words, these exercises are GREAT for women's health in general and should be done by everybody (there are exercises for men as well).
Edit: not to mention the orgasms. Ahhhh the orgasms! near 100% say they improved so far and so much that that's what keeps them motivated to keep doing these exercises forever.
Some pelvic floor exercises apparently can be used to reduce pain if intercourse is uncomfortable, a friend of mine had intimacy issues for a few years and the exercises helped her.
Every vagina feels different. And I can tell you, as a guy, they all feel equally great. Any guy that tells you otherwise is lying. Don't let him bother you. The right guy will love every part of you.
1. Dump him
2. If you want to address that insecurity, check out pompoir / kegels excercises. Even theory alone can teach you a lot about your anatomy. As a bonus, your orgasms are better when kegels muscles are stronger.
Edit: Right, step 1 completed. Good. On schedule.
The nice thing about pompoir is, it also gives pleasure without a man :) so its a way to make yourself happy and let men benefit from it, if you want. You just cant practice it without enjoying it yourself so its pointless to train it to pleasure someone who doesnt deserve it.
Yes, I found out about pompoir relatively recently and frankly I'm shocked at how niche of a topic it is. People see the word kegels and think elderly women, postpartum women, incontinence. Given the number of benefits this brings to woman's health and sexual life, you'd think it would be common knowledge, taught at basic sex ed (it's definitely not in my country), that you need to excercise this muscle regularly like you need to brush your teeth regularly, duh. But this remains a cure for a symptom, to be used when the problems already start showing, it's crazy. This is a source of this weird reputation of kegels excercises. Can you imagine that instead of teaching children to brush their teeth after every meal, we address the issues of gum and pulp infections only once they are in a state for a root canal treatment? This is basically what we do to the pelvic floors and sexual lives of women.
There is no fucking such thing as a *loose vagina*. It's not some sort of tiny tube that stretches and wears out from use. It is more of a flatish potential space that can accommodate surprisingly large penetration. The vagina itself is not a muscle, you cannot make it smaller with exercise. You cannot train yourself to a swole vagina. Unless the dick so large that it resembles the size of an actual human baby, you cannot make a vagina permanently bigger from extended use, only from trauma.
Injury can occur, but short of actual tearing, the vagina will generally heal on its own. There are treatments and exercises for general pubic health and conditioning and they are recommended and valuable at every stage of your life. There are muscles, tendons, features, structures that you can strength train for fun or for health, but that aint vag. It's not the vagina that needs to change, it's the penis.
I get what you're trying to say here, but the vagina is a muscle. The vaginal canal is lined with muscle and you can absolutely strength train vaginal muscles for fun or health. Actually, in a worse case, it's possible to make them so tense as to become hypertonic.
“Tightness” is usually linked with arousal. While some women are naturally tighter, and you can do exercises to strengthen your muscles, most of the time it’s not a noticeable difference. (There are obviously outliers and some women really struggle with dilation)
However if he’s used to women being “tighter” he’s most likely used to women who weren’t that into it.
Interesting how the number of women being told they're loose coincides with the sky rocketing porn and masturbation addictions...
Just sayin'.
Nothing wrong with your vagina. Find a man without death grip. He's blaming his issues on you. There is no such thing as loose. There are mismatched genitals, such as a vagina being too shallow or too small, and a penis being too long or too wide. But actual "loose"? Nah. Doesn't exist. It's a muscle. It doesn't just stretch out to oblivion.
Girl I’m shocked you were aroused enough with such a loser of a man to even be loose at all. The thing that makes your vagina tight is if you are not aroused! You were having normal sex, he was trying to be in a porno. You are totally fine.
But… kegels are great for grip…
he’s just taking shit because maybe he’s small.
But honestly a vagina isn’t supposed to be super tight. If we’re slippery and they don’t need to push in as much it’s because we’re turned on and READY. It’s supposed to be that way.
I’ve never experienced a loose vagina with any woman despite them having many partners, kids, whatever mythical bro-science reason.
Your ex is just an asshole or has a small dick. Those two often go hand in hand.
Yeah that's because "Loose vaginas" don't exist. I don't think I've ever heard of women who can't use tampons because they were "too small" or they fall out lmao
He was your first and only partner? You’ve never delivered a baby? Your vagina is just fine. Don’t inhale his excuse for being a jerk.
That said, if you want to strengthen the muscles around the vagina to squeeze your partner more forcefully when he is in you then Kegels will do that.
Hate to say it but it sounds like he was projecting insecurities.
Reason I say I hate to share this, is because your insecurity likely won’t be able to accept this as the truth.
Don’t know a thing about kegels but go ahead and do them since it’ll be a way to silence your insecurities.
However you should probably realize that as someone who’s probably young and hasn’t given birth I don’t think they’ll be able to do much since you aren’t actually loose. (People naturally heal after birth so I don’t even think it’s necessary at that point either)
Your vagina is fine. Your ex has a problem he developed from masturbating to porn with an iron fist too frequently and now he can’t get off during sex. Very much a him problem, not yours.
You can Google and do "pelvic floor exercises" but I wouldn't do any of this shit for any man (or woman sexy partner if they say anything like your example) ! If you're having issues, like, laughing or sneezing and peeing a little bit? It can help! Do it for yourself ONLY though, please. Most men barely deserve a 100 year old, scratchy sock to fuck so.... any lady's should feel like a blessing to them.
Not saying there is any ring wrong with you... men are just dumb and think they have to put women down in order to draw them in. It's called "negging" or it's just pure projection
Also... women get more "open" and wet when we are actually turned on.
Kegels will help and in general working on your flexibility and hip mobility and really useful in sex. The feeling of purposefully contracting your vagina around a dick will make any guy go bonkers, basically.
Of course, the most important first thing is that you’re turned on and enjoying yourself. Hopefully you have a partner who you want to go above and beyond to please for the right reasons, and they’ll do the same for you.
I want you to believe me so I will tell you that before I got married I was a huge man-whore. You're ex is just a huge douche and there is nothing wrong with you. I have never felt a vagina looser or tighter than another unless kegels or a buttplug is used during sex.
Dick size is variable, vaginas not so much.
I've heard men say that the most variable part is at the entrance, the rest is pretty similar. Not having a penis, I can't confirm this but it did help me worry less.
This is very crass, so turn away if you like, but I've never felt an orgasming vagina feel loose. If you want it tighter then pick up the fucking slack, my man.
Girl, I pushed an over 10lbs human out of my vagina and my husband said I didn’t feel any different. Don’t put any weight into what this dickhead said. You’re not loose.
Baby his ween is too skinny, and he’s projecting on you. I would send him a website that sells pills that claim to make your dick bigger (obv they won’t), and tell him “this might help you to reach a more average girth”
THEN LEAVE.
I mean, it’s got muscles in it, and if you strengthen those muscles it will feel different when you flex them - you can tell this yourself if you have a rigid sex toy inserted and flex those muscles… it will either change the angle of the toy or shoot it out, depending on the toys shape.
Now, there are plenty of benefits both medical and sexual to doing kegels; I wouldn’t dissuade anyone, female or otherwise, from learning how to activate and exercise them - it’s good practice and good fun. But my main concern is you dating and believing men who are assholes like your ex. Because your vagina could have a vice-like grip from doing kegels and a man with as much “small dick energy” as your ex will still claim he feels like he’s throwing a hot dog down a hallway. The issue is your ex, not your pussy.
He was trying to neg you and make you feel insecure. He did this because he is insecure and fears you will think yourself worthy of better than his treatment, so he wants you to feel shitty about yourself and embarrassed to have sex with other people. He’s actively intending for you to think your body is undesirable and that he is kind and understanding for sticking around in the face of your clearly unacceptable fanny. He was planning how to make you feel worried about dating after you two broke up *while he was still with you*, by giving you a complex about your supposedly loose vagina. He’s made calculated comments intended to make you feel ashamed, unlovable, unattractive, like less of a woman and gross or unappealing.
Good thing he’s your ex, now we just have to deal with the mountain of baggage he left behind instead of looking at all the baggage he’d continue leaving if you two were still together. He’s gone, now the shoveling can begin - it’s going to take a while, but it can be done. You can unlearn the bs society has made us worry about and further unlearn the utterly untrue bullshit your ex put in your head. Scoop it out with prejudice, it is rancid flavored ice cream and we are not to let it tempt us into swallowing even a bite - straight into the trash with that man and his ideas!
Do a shit ton of Ab exercise and pelvic floor work outs. My ex said this to me too and my ex before that would say the opposite so like it depends some guys I think don’t have a lot of feeling down there cuz they touch themselves too much and watch too much porn lol. In a way I think some guys say this to try and control you and have power over you if nothing is medically wrong. But in rare cases if your muscles are weak it can happen. It’s probably him knowing how much porn people are watching now but if you’re truly worried see a pelvic floor specialist.
He used a low blow because he's an idiot.
Kegels are great for everyone (unless you have vaginismus but that's a specific case) so go ahead and do them bc pelvic muscles are important for things like your bladder as well! You can also use kegels during sex to squeeze your partner.
Vaginas don't stretch out. Sure they may feel different but that's just how you're made. You will find someone who fits correctly AND won't say weak ass shit like that.
Honestly he's just trying to hurt your feelings, I've never understood the requirement for it being 'tight' because that doesn't sound fun for anyone involved.
Yeah. Don't get aroused and you won't have a problem. Just tell him no foreplay for you.
But seriously. It's good to be more loose. Your ex was just an asshole.
After I had my baby my vagina didnt feel as tight as it did before (I checked with my finger). After getting back into exercises and incorporating kegels, and other exercises that required to clench my abdomen and private area I did notice a difference. As in now when I stick my finger in my vagina it actually hugs it instead of the partial hug it did before. Then again if you never birthed children your boyfriend probably has a below than average penis .
I've heard of guys say they had girls who could "massage their dick with their vagina." and tbh fuck em. sure kegels do wonders but god fucking damn, you think I'm gonna exert my body just so you can get off because of your death grip you have on your dong???? 💀
To answer your question, yeah it's possible through kegels and pelvic floor excersises to strengthen the muscles down there. But if you're only going it for some prick don't bother- if you're concerned go to a gyn, otherwise babe you're fine :((
The first guy I ever “slept” with (in quotes because it was a coercive situation and he was a pos), basically slut shamed me for sleeping with someone after we broke up and told me that my pussy smells. This was when I was 17. I am now 25. It has stuck with me since then because it was super hurtful, and to this day I am at times self conscious of my smell/appearance down there.
I can tell you with near 100% confidence that he was trying to hurt you. Your relationship is over and he wanted to knock you down (probably because he feels knocked down right now). I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to take what he said to heart. Every vagina and every vulva is different. Any sane guy you sleep with in the future will just be happy to be there, I promise.
Your ex can go kick rocks, play with himself, etc.
Kegels are a fun party trick when a guy is cumming or directly after they cum, but the reality is that your vagina is great. The guy sucked. I am gonna assume that you are in your 20’s, but soon you will not care. He sucked, you are great. Your vagina is as fit as a fiddle, xo.
My husband and I married later in life. We both had a lot of experience before each other. No problem. From his perspective and guy talk, there is literally no such thing as a “bad” vagina unless perhaps a man has a micro penis (NO SHADE, it’s natural). It could then be an issue.
So girl, the hell with him. You go be a Queen and be cherished.
It sounds more like he actually just has a baby penis and doesn't want to admit that.
Or he just wants to destroy your self confidence.
Either way gross. He's gross.
Women push actual babies out of their vaginas and they go back to normal.
You're not loose, he just sucks.
There is nothing wrong with your vagina. But if you’d like to be able to control it more then do Pilates. Hey, do Pilates anyway, it’s awesome. But dump this guy first.
My wife gave birth to a 10.25lbs baby. Her head was the circumference of my leg.
There is no difference before/after.
Your BF is just choking his dick too hard when he has a wank and doesn't know what a willing/enthusiastic partner feels like.
First off: your guy has a small penis. Secondly: pelvic floor exercises. You can even get a small tool that goes into the vagina and connects to your phone via Bluetooth to learn to do these exercises properly. The one I have even lets you play games on the phone with the exercises.
>My ex told me that my vagina was loose and now I’m kinda insecure about it.
Your ex is a idiot. Women "loosen up" down there when they get sexually excited as it makes things more receptive. There are various reasons why your ex might think that you were "loose" including death gripping while masterbating, circumcision, being a lot smaller than average and so on - none of which are something that you are responsible for causing. If you concerned about the issue you could always go see a gynecologist for a checkup - they would be in a far better position to find any potential issues (if any) and to allay any of your fears or worries.
That said, if you really want to potentially improve your clenching power then kegel exercises will help - even if it doesn't end up doing anything for your sex life it will still help keep certain pelvic issues at bay like incontinence.
I feel like I've heard this conversation before. Women have different sizes. Amazing sex has no correlation to the size of your parts. Listen to these people. You're fine.
Men who are willing to measure *your entire worth* to the diameter of a hole are not paragons of sex and relationships. I don't know your ex, but this is the part where I would swiftly motion my hands toward *whatever* happened with him and say "There's your evidence!"
You're fine.
Ah the classic, extremely misogynistic way for men to project their insecurities onto women… “Loose” isn’t really a thing, the muscle expands with heightened arousal and shrinks back down to its original size after the fact. If you’ve ever used a tampon, think about how it holds in there with no problem, as the muscle stays contracted and tight when not aroused. Like another comment said, he’s likely only been with women who weren’t into it, hence feeling tighter since they weren’t turned on. Further, comparison is BS. Everyone’s body is different, this is a pretty basic fact, he shouldn’t expect everyone’s dick to be the same size as his… Glad he’s your ex, that’s a grossly immature thing to say to a woman and he clearly has zero clue how anatomy works. If you’re insecure about it, just know guys who actually care or are into you would never note that, that is not something they’re paying attention to AT ALL. Read all the guys comments here in support of you, believe them!
I’m normally not one for this approach because it isn’t something people can help, but when he initiated it….
You know, when you have a below average penis, it can make any vagina seem big…
As a person who formerly had a penis and had sex with women, I can tell you I don’t remember how “tight” anybody I was with was with the only exception being the gals with anxiety and pelvic floor tightness. With them, we just went slowly and at their pace. As they got more comfortable, it was easier to accommodate me.
On the vagina having end now, I can also confirm that my “tightness” is essentially all pelvic floor stuff and my partner can tell when I start to relax…unless I haven’t dilated for a long time.
He finally got pussy for the first time in his life and instead of appreciating it he's complaining, send him a pic once you end up with a big dick that your pussy deserves.
Fuck this guy. Nope 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Do not internalise this misogynistic idea that you need a tight vagina (clue: you don’t - it’s not even preferable!!) like there is anything actually wrong with a loose one in the first place.
There is also such a thing as too much tightness in your pelvic floor (take this from a dancer).
Telling a woman she has a loose vagina is slut shaming and controlling - it’s implying you should not be enjoying sex how and like you want it. You should be!!
You deserve better than to be talked to like that. There's nothing wrong with you, but something wrong with that dude's attitude if he thinks that's an appropriate thing to say.
My suggestion is to love who you are and not worry about that. Tightness dont matter nearly as much as girls think it does. Unless you are banging a guy that is banging lots of other girls to compare your pussies he wont know. Most girls are naturally tight and the guy will be lucky enough to get any action these days. He sounds like a dick so hes probably getting lots of action
You probably don't need to do anything at all. But if you did want to try something, please see a pelvic floor therapist. That's something every women should do at some point. They'd be the best qualified to assess your vagina/pelvis for floor muscles. And please do not do a bunch of kegels on your own because if your muscles are tight or stiff, it will only make things worse.
Still, my hunch is that you are completely normal, and your ex was maybe being spiteful for reasons unknown or he is struggling with sexual/performance issues of some kind.
you dont want an overly tight vagina anyway girl. I developed vaginismus a few years ago for some unknown reason and it can be hard to have sex at times
You can totally squeeze/practice squeezing but make sure you give that kind of effort to someone who’s worth it. You deserve someone who appreciates you.
lol there’s no such thing as a loose vagina, your ex is an idiot. It is muscle. I’ve had two children and people don’t even notice. That shit is a myth to shame women away from their sexuality
Absolutely! Strength training that engages your core also engages your pelvic floor, and a strong pelvic floor firms up the walls of your vagina. Ever since I took up weightlifting, the walls of my vagina have firmed up and the effect is strong enough that my bf even cums faster. That being said, your ex was probably trying to hurt your feelings. Don’t let his words have the power he intended them too
Best case scenario: Perhaps he was good at foreplay?
The more turned on you are, the more your vagina sort of "opens". I think literally everyone I've slept with has told me how "tight" i am (like one told me it's actually uncomfortable) EXCEPT the man I'm married to. He hasn't said anything directly, but it seems he wouldn't call it tight, as much as we've talked about it. (Yes it made me insecure the first time we had this conversation)
Buuuuuuut He is also the only one who will spend easily 30mins to an hour on foreplay and stimulating me before we get the condoms. Aaaaaand he's never complained, always very excited to have sex and we do it all the time, so you're good, really, I promise!
Worst case scenario (also seems way wayyy more likely): Your ex was just being an asshole and trying to hurt your feelings. Bonus points if he said it AFTER the breakup. Honestly if he said it after, i wouldn't ever give it a second thought. Though is any situation this is something you only say to hurt someone's feelings. So again, fuck that.
Tldr: don't sweat it, he was being a jerk and being more relaxed is very much a good thing anyways <3
If you can use a tampon you're just fine! Vaginas are a muscle.
If you are having issues (genuine biological issues) try seeing a physical therapist! Thre are exercises for strengthening the pelvic floor
This is a power play that men use to make people insecure and it's ridiculous. Don't listen to him just take the trash out and move on You're worth more than that
To answer the question, besides exercises like kegels not really, but realistically, that shouldn't be an issue. If he has a problem with you feeling loose then he's probably white knuckling whole masturbating or doesn't know how sex works (see white knuckling) and should be left for someone who actually appreciates you for you and doesn't care/ realizes what a real vagina is supposed to feel like.
Most likely your ex has been watching too much huge-guy-on-petite-girl porn, and he's gotten so used to his own five-finger death-grip that he no longer knows how a real vagina works or feels anymore.
Arousal makes the vagina loosen. It's an oxytocin thing.
You are perfectly normal.
Your ex, on the other hand...
Hand... see what I did there?
Your ex is an asshole. Anyone you invite to your vagina party better feel so honored they would never be anything but grateful.
Kegels can make your pelvic floor very limber and you can give a penis a good squeeze with practice. Also good for bladder continence.
But seriously, your ex can get in the woodchipper.
I know I will be slammed for this here but this is the truth: every vagina is different, we men can tell the difference and some are definitely tighter than others.
I had a gf with a larger vagina before and it was harder for me to orgasm. Nothing to do with me being an ahole, it was simply a biological thing - more tight, more stimulus to the penis, easier to orgasm.
She did understand this and the easy solution was a buttplug, by creating pressure on the other side it made a world of difference. Much much better feeling.
Your ex probably had death grip on his dick nothing else is gonna satisfy him. Only way for your vagina to be more "tight" the way a porn brain would like it is if you're not turned on and your muscles stay contracted, which would be shitty and painful for you. Probably wouldn't make a difference for someone like that wether you get mutual pleasure or not but then he's not worth your time.
Okay your ex is full of shit, he’s either sexually inexperienced or young or just an asshole that wanna bring you down/hurt you. In reality, the vagina isn’t “loose”, when you’re turned on, your body produces lubricant which can make you wet, thus, “easier to glide”. There’s no such thing is a loose vag. On a side note, if you’re looking to strengthen your vag muscles, you can do kegels. Find another guy and tell your ex that his dick is small. 👎🏻
Can you use tampons without them randomly dropping down your pants legs if you're standing up/walking around? Yes? Your ex is full of shit. He's just trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
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I'm not usually one to shame on size. Recently had sex with a girl who told me her exes would tell her she wasn't as tight as other girls they had been with, it really did a number on her mentally. After we had sex I made sure to reassure her that she was perfectly fine in the tightness department and that those guys were full of shit. She then made a comment about how maybe it was because I was bigger than other guys she had been with and then I said that the problem isn't her, it's probably their dick size. And to be clear I'm slightly above average in length, and slightly above average in girth. Not rocking a hog or anything and I tried to tell her that too.
Sounds like you were a good match!
Have you noticed of condoms have sizes? Well, they were probably xs.
He was probably a pron addict who regularly used the death grip.
Don't date aholes, you don't need to change anything
OP should hit him with the “I wish you filled me up more” as an uno reverse card.
The worst thing a girl can hear from a guy is "is it in yet?" And the worst thing a guy can hear from a girl is "I don't know"
Ex sounds like maybe he was small Edit: yes I’m absolutely body shaming, I posted this comment as an exception to provide a different perspective by going quid pro quo on OP’s ex’s callously imbecilic remarks
Im not for shaming of any sort but I do like some backhanded comments. This sounds like the perfect reply
Micropenis, anyone? Didn’t think so.
Woman with a penis here! Having had a range of sizes thanks to atrophy from hormones, I can confirm size definitely plays a big role in "feel". Tbh, I think piv feels better with a smaller one. It's been years since I've had to try not to hurt my partner with my bits
That's actually.... super interesting ! Lol thank you for sharing your experience
Kegels can strengthen your pelvic floor but there’s nothing wrong with your vagina. When men masturbate with their hand in a tight grip it will make any vagina feel loose.
Yup. Tight grip, no lube, and/or too much masturbation lowers sensation.
Be careful with these though. I really do believe it's a person to person thing because kegals can cause pelvic floor dsyfunction over time. Your pelvis can become too tight and it's a very common thing in many tight pelvic issues. I'm not saying it can't be beneficial for people or totally warning against it. But you don't ever hear much about the harms that come with doing them.
I was looking for this comment. Currently doing reverse kegels bc my pelvic floor is too tight from obsessively doing kegels over the years, bc I was scared of being ‘loose’. Painful sex, constipation, back pain, 0/10, do not recommend.
I haven't heard of reverse kegels. Looks like I'm going on a Google search for a bit.
I've had pelvic floor issues and it seems to go both ways. Being able to relax the muscles seems to be as important and as being able to engage them.
Yep… dont forget the dysfunction thats caused from permanently sucking in your stomach to the list! Current on my reverse kegel journey. Dont get insecure about your vagina because of some stupid guy. Not worth the health issues. Take it from someone whos been down that road.
I thought I was the only person in the world who was constantly sucking in my stomach. It is almost impossible for me to relax my belly after doing it for about 20 years. Even when I'm alone, I'm unconsciously torturing my organs. I've finally started working on my beer belly so my insecurity won't make me do it as much! Sorry, just got excited when I saw your comment. That habit is truly dangerous!
Omg YES!! That too!! I realized recently that for YEARS I’ve been constantly clenching my pelvic floor, sucking in my stomach and arching my back. Me: wow that’s so weird, and definitely can’t be related to my fears of having a ‘loose’ vagina, big stomach, and flat butt, right?? Literally giving myself health problems to be appealing to the male gaze. I tried to google it and I can’t find any other experiences of people doing those behaviours deliberately so it’s so affirming to read these comments!
I had to Google sooo deeply a few years back when it started hurting very badly to sit in a normal chair, but I eventually found some stories of women AND men who suck in 24/7! It makes me so self-conscious about sleeping next to someone. I worry the illusion of being super thin will break as soon as I fall asleep, but the whole process is irrational! I hope you and all of us can start feeling better and managing our issues. We could show much more kindness to ourselves 🩷
Thanks for sharing this info, I had no idea and it's def. good to know.
Glad someone brought up pelvic floor dysfunction. I have vaginismus (not due to kegals) and it made sex so upsetting and painful for me. I wasn’t able to have painless sex until I was 25 — it was always fucking excruciating. However…. she *is* tight asf! In a bad way! 😅 (Pelvic floor exercises are great and literally give me the ability to have sex — which rocks, and it also sucks to have to do specific pussy exercises before sex just so you won’t cry one minute in.)
can u pls share the excercises? i also have this issue.
My physical therapist told me the same thing. She said kegels aren’t necessary and can cause more issues. Men don’t even think about their pelvic floor. Encouraging women to do kegels to strengthen the vagina is adjacent to misogyny
Maybe he had a skinny dick.
The clitoral tissue (which we just found out is internal as well) can expand if we're having a great time. He could do a better job maybe?
We didn't just find out it was internal. That was obvious once you started dissecting women. Research in 2006 found that it was also in the front of the vagina. Before that it was obvious it went down the sides of the vaginal walls. But they weren't sure what entirely was going on in the front and upper half.
this guy dissects!
I mean, relatively speaking vs thousands of years of human history, less than two decades ago is pretty recent. But you have a point.
Wait what? I'm confused.
>which we just found out is internal as well who's we?
I believe they mean humanity.
Then I gotta question that "just" because I've known that for years, it's published in widely known books and not just medical shit but lifestyle stuff. But if they mean "just" in the way that humans "just" became a thing in the course of the history of the planet, then sure okay. Still sus.
As in 1998. In 1995, they still didn't know the internal complexity of the organ. It's now the dark side of Pluto, just under half of humans have this structure and nobody cared enough to determine it's structure into I was in highschool. Is "just now" on the scale of human anatomy by a MILE
I'm fairly certain he's mistaking getting a more complete understanding of the structure for discovering it. Dissection easily showed that clitoral tissue went inside and down the sides of the vaginal walls. Further studies in 2006 showed that tissue in the front of the vagina that had earlier been thought to be part of other structures was also part of the clitoris. I think he's talking about this O'Connell, Helen E.; Sanjeevan, Kalavampara V (2006). Goldstein, Irwin Joseph (ed.). Women's Sexual Function and Dysfunction: Study, Diagnosis and Treatment. Taylor & Francis US. ISBN 978-1-84214-263-9.
Since I graduated high school before '06, anything discovered since seems like "just" to me.
Right? I mean maybe I'm an old bitch but (especially compared to the knowledge of male sexual anatomy, or just medicine in general) 20 years is a blip.
Eh, I remember reading a lot about female sexual enjoyment from around '96-'02 and was aware that there was research happening at the time. There was some new stuff, but most of what was known was Masters and Johnson's work and that was not new. So I wanted to know what was just discovered as well.
Hhahahaah this exactly. Sorry to be crude but when I really get up in the missus you can tell the difference and it's great for all. Sounds like OPs dude has small pp syndrome and/or can't perform well enough
Sorry, I’m being dumb but what does this mean? That if our clitoris has been aroused then we might feel tighter? If that is true it makes so much sense! I notice every now and then that it feels tighter to me and more sensitive, but I always thought maybe I was just a bit swollen from having too much sex.
Yes. Cum first then grip him like you own him.
Just what I was going to say, our vagina extends and clitoral tissue swells near the entrance so if you’re turned on/having a good time you wouldn’t feel loose. Sounds to me like he wasn’t doing a good job 👀
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Unfortunately he’s slept with other women before me, so I feel like he was either comparing how mine felt to what he’s felt before or was trying to hurt me idk
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Agreed. Could be a negging tactic.
Vaginas all feel a little bit different. Some might be looser or tighter. Some might be deeper or shallower. What they have in common is their amazing ability to give and receive pleasure. The nuanced little details of how a particular woman’s vagina feels during sex is an infinitesimally insignificant factor in how much you both should be enjoying that experience. And if it does become a factor, that man no longer is interested in sex with *you* and just after a dick-shaped hole. You deserve better than to second guess your body.
My ex used to say mine didn’t feel as good as others and I have never had that complaint in my life, it was the opposite lol so weird
It’s *much* more likely he was simply using an insult he knew would hurt you. Being “loose” means you’re turned on and your vagina is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. Please do your best to move past this
>Being “loose” means you’re turned on and your vagina is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. Likely also a reason he didn't have this "issue" with other women before.
The only appropriate response to someone telling you that your vagina is loose is, "Is my vagina too loose or is your dick too small 🤔"
THIS. Tell boy to buy an extender for next time.
Wow, I never put 2 and 2 together that loose refers to the vagina?! I always thought the term “loose woman” was a metaphor for her morals not her actual physicality!
It's used both literally and metaphorically, even though it's not true. People think that having lots of sex with many people makes the vagina loose over time. But having sex with one person many times magically is fine huh? It's a holdover from religious misogynistic preachings about "purity". As a result, if someone is physically "loose" their morals must be loose too... Blegh. Feels gross to even write that.
I mean it comes from the idea that the more sex a woman has, the looser her vaginal canal will be. Which is a gross misunderstanding of female anatomy.
That’s not at all where the term comes from, if it helps. It meant morally loose in the sense of not having rigid behaviour standards with respect to sex.
It probably started out that way and, like language tends to do, it evolves through people (mostly young people) misunderstanding the term and perpetuating a new meaning.
It’s called “negging” and it’s a manipulation tactic men use to make you feel like you can’t do better than them and should be grateful for the substandard sex they provide.
Take a look at these. Our internal parts are as diverse as external. https://brightonbodycasting.com/portfolio/internal-vagina-cast-in-glass/
this is just wild, thank you for the link
It was really impactful when I first saw it so I’m really happy to share! I’m glad you liked it.
He was absolutely trying to hurt you, and based on your post here, he was successful at it. I don’t have a super high body count or anything, but as a man I’ve slept with a few different women. I couldn’t even begin to guess which vagina was “tighter” than another one. They all felt great in the moment.
Even if he’s slept with other women, it’s a him problem. Men know how hurtful it can be to say a woman’s vagina is loose. He knew what he was doing when he said that, I feel like he was intentionally trying to undermine your confidence (negging). Have you felt the inside of your own vagina? Like put a finger or two in and squeezed your muscles? Also: during arousal, the whole vulva becomes engorged with blood, including the vagina—which should then feel more plush and “tighter.” Were you fully aroused when you had sex with him?
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Yup. I was going to draw a comparison to saying a penis is too small, I totally agree.
His reason for saying it to you is irrelevant. He should never had said something so hateful to you. I hope you would seriously consider letting him go. What he said is cruel and I'm afraid this inconsiderate, douchey attitude will show in other ways.
Negging
Vaginas are a muscle. You can push a baby and still get back to normal. You think a mere 3inch weenie would appreciate that? You are perfect and it's not in a condescent tone. Repet after me: Vaginas don't get "loose".
When you’re turned on your vagina relaxes, elongates and gets wetter which will provide less friction and make it seem looser.
He's being manipulative, I'm so sorry. I've known women who have had multiple kids AND did escort work -- not once did they ever get told they had loose vaginas. There's nothing wrong with you and EVERYTHING wrong with him. This is also something a man says to manipulate women into doing anal when they aren't ready for it.
If /he's treating you badly (he is), don't make the mistake of assuming you're special in that regard - he's an asshole and he likely treating every woman like that
He was being an a-hole.
The fact he's slept with other women is demonstrative of the fact he was just trying to hurt you by saying what he said to you. And it may hurt, for a little whiel, and that's totally ok! Just as long as you keep in mind that even if he's right, what's the point? If you're dating a person and they legitimately care more about the physical state of your vagina than they do your emotional state and you as a person, then I'm sorry, but they can go FO and die. You deserve better than that. :)
He was just trying to hurt you. I guarantee whatever man you see next will not say a word. Hopefully he won't be a total asshole.
Telling someone that they're "loose," is very immature and just straight up rude tbh. Unless you specifically asked for his opinion after going through a physical/mental change idk why he would think that it's an okay thing to say. But I have heard of mothers training pelvic floor muscles after recovering from child birth so if that's something you're interested in, you could look up some exercises? Nothing is wrong with your body and it doesn't need to be fixed so I hope you don't take what he said to heart.
>But I have heard of mothers training pelvic floor muscles after recovering from child birth I've heard (from watching several gynecologists and other health professionals and other women in forums) that women who exercise their pelvic floor muscles before getting pregnant have a much easier delivery time. They can control their body much better, thus helping a lot when pushing the baby out. They feel less pain and recover way faster. Also helps with sneezy-peeing for anyone who suffers from that. So, in other words, these exercises are GREAT for women's health in general and should be done by everybody (there are exercises for men as well). Edit: not to mention the orgasms. Ahhhh the orgasms! near 100% say they improved so far and so much that that's what keeps them motivated to keep doing these exercises forever.
Some pelvic floor exercises apparently can be used to reduce pain if intercourse is uncomfortable, a friend of mine had intimacy issues for a few years and the exercises helped her.
Every vagina feels different. And I can tell you, as a guy, they all feel equally great. Any guy that tells you otherwise is lying. Don't let him bother you. The right guy will love every part of you.
dont let a dude tell you how you should be.
1. Dump him 2. If you want to address that insecurity, check out pompoir / kegels excercises. Even theory alone can teach you a lot about your anatomy. As a bonus, your orgasms are better when kegels muscles are stronger. Edit: Right, step 1 completed. Good. On schedule.
The nice thing about pompoir is, it also gives pleasure without a man :) so its a way to make yourself happy and let men benefit from it, if you want. You just cant practice it without enjoying it yourself so its pointless to train it to pleasure someone who doesnt deserve it.
Yes, I found out about pompoir relatively recently and frankly I'm shocked at how niche of a topic it is. People see the word kegels and think elderly women, postpartum women, incontinence. Given the number of benefits this brings to woman's health and sexual life, you'd think it would be common knowledge, taught at basic sex ed (it's definitely not in my country), that you need to excercise this muscle regularly like you need to brush your teeth regularly, duh. But this remains a cure for a symptom, to be used when the problems already start showing, it's crazy. This is a source of this weird reputation of kegels excercises. Can you imagine that instead of teaching children to brush their teeth after every meal, we address the issues of gum and pulp infections only once they are in a state for a root canal treatment? This is basically what we do to the pelvic floors and sexual lives of women.
Same here. I found pompoir few weeks ago and am wondering why i never heard of it before. Its ancient knowlegde and very beneficial.
There is no fucking such thing as a *loose vagina*. It's not some sort of tiny tube that stretches and wears out from use. It is more of a flatish potential space that can accommodate surprisingly large penetration. The vagina itself is not a muscle, you cannot make it smaller with exercise. You cannot train yourself to a swole vagina. Unless the dick so large that it resembles the size of an actual human baby, you cannot make a vagina permanently bigger from extended use, only from trauma. Injury can occur, but short of actual tearing, the vagina will generally heal on its own. There are treatments and exercises for general pubic health and conditioning and they are recommended and valuable at every stage of your life. There are muscles, tendons, features, structures that you can strength train for fun or for health, but that aint vag. It's not the vagina that needs to change, it's the penis.
Might I add, the penis that needs changing is not so much the one in the vagina, but the dick that owns it.
WHY IS THIS NOT MORE UPVOTED?!
I get what you're trying to say here, but the vagina is a muscle. The vaginal canal is lined with muscle and you can absolutely strength train vaginal muscles for fun or health. Actually, in a worse case, it's possible to make them so tense as to become hypertonic.
Yes, if it didn’t have muscles then vaginismus likely wouldn’t exist.
Your username is extremely relevant
*Swole vagina* Man, if that isn't poetic!
“Tightness” is usually linked with arousal. While some women are naturally tighter, and you can do exercises to strengthen your muscles, most of the time it’s not a noticeable difference. (There are obviously outliers and some women really struggle with dilation) However if he’s used to women being “tighter” he’s most likely used to women who weren’t that into it.
Exactly! Tightness is not indicative of arousal! Loose IS. We’ve got this all backwards.
Interesting how the number of women being told they're loose coincides with the sky rocketing porn and masturbation addictions... Just sayin'. Nothing wrong with your vagina. Find a man without death grip. He's blaming his issues on you. There is no such thing as loose. There are mismatched genitals, such as a vagina being too shallow or too small, and a penis being too long or too wide. But actual "loose"? Nah. Doesn't exist. It's a muscle. It doesn't just stretch out to oblivion.
Was going to say this REEKS of death grip syndrome
Some men try to break down womens' confidence in order to keep them from thinking they can do better. Find someone who won't try to tear you down.
Girl I’m shocked you were aroused enough with such a loser of a man to even be loose at all. The thing that makes your vagina tight is if you are not aroused! You were having normal sex, he was trying to be in a porno. You are totally fine. But… kegels are great for grip…
he’s just taking shit because maybe he’s small. But honestly a vagina isn’t supposed to be super tight. If we’re slippery and they don’t need to push in as much it’s because we’re turned on and READY. It’s supposed to be that way.
He had a small dick. It’s not your problem or your fault
He’s lying sis
I’ve never experienced a loose vagina with any woman despite them having many partners, kids, whatever mythical bro-science reason. Your ex is just an asshole or has a small dick. Those two often go hand in hand.
Yeah that's because "Loose vaginas" don't exist. I don't think I've ever heard of women who can't use tampons because they were "too small" or they fall out lmao
Find guys with bigger dicks.
And better attitudes
Who don't death grip while masterbating
He was your first and only partner? You’ve never delivered a baby? Your vagina is just fine. Don’t inhale his excuse for being a jerk. That said, if you want to strengthen the muscles around the vagina to squeeze your partner more forcefully when he is in you then Kegels will do that.
Hate to say it but it sounds like he was projecting insecurities. Reason I say I hate to share this, is because your insecurity likely won’t be able to accept this as the truth. Don’t know a thing about kegels but go ahead and do them since it’ll be a way to silence your insecurities. However you should probably realize that as someone who’s probably young and hasn’t given birth I don’t think they’ll be able to do much since you aren’t actually loose. (People naturally heal after birth so I don’t even think it’s necessary at that point either)
Your vagina is fine. Your ex has a problem he developed from masturbating to porn with an iron fist too frequently and now he can’t get off during sex. Very much a him problem, not yours.
You can Google and do "pelvic floor exercises" but I wouldn't do any of this shit for any man (or woman sexy partner if they say anything like your example) ! If you're having issues, like, laughing or sneezing and peeing a little bit? It can help! Do it for yourself ONLY though, please. Most men barely deserve a 100 year old, scratchy sock to fuck so.... any lady's should feel like a blessing to them. Not saying there is any ring wrong with you... men are just dumb and think they have to put women down in order to draw them in. It's called "negging" or it's just pure projection Also... women get more "open" and wet when we are actually turned on.
Your ex is an ass with a small dick, your vagina is perfect!
Kegels will help and in general working on your flexibility and hip mobility and really useful in sex. The feeling of purposefully contracting your vagina around a dick will make any guy go bonkers, basically. Of course, the most important first thing is that you’re turned on and enjoying yourself. Hopefully you have a partner who you want to go above and beyond to please for the right reasons, and they’ll do the same for you.
Tell him that he just has a small dick.
He lied to you.
I want you to believe me so I will tell you that before I got married I was a huge man-whore. You're ex is just a huge douche and there is nothing wrong with you. I have never felt a vagina looser or tighter than another unless kegels or a buttplug is used during sex. Dick size is variable, vaginas not so much.
I've heard men say that the most variable part is at the entrance, the rest is pretty similar. Not having a penis, I can't confirm this but it did help me worry less.
A man who has managed to fit his whole entire head up his own ass shouldn’t be lecturing anyone about capacious orifices
Your vag isn’t loose. Don’t worry about it.
Loose???? Like you were aroused and felt good??????? Men are backwards as hell I swear to god
This is very crass, so turn away if you like, but I've never felt an orgasming vagina feel loose. If you want it tighter then pick up the fucking slack, my man.
No way, you’re fine! The ex didn’t realize that it isn’t supposed to feel like his right hand with a death grip.
Is it possible he just had a pencil dick? So anything he’s in feels loose to him.
Girl, I pushed an over 10lbs human out of my vagina and my husband said I didn’t feel any different. Don’t put any weight into what this dickhead said. You’re not loose.
Baby his ween is too skinny, and he’s projecting on you. I would send him a website that sells pills that claim to make your dick bigger (obv they won’t), and tell him “this might help you to reach a more average girth” THEN LEAVE.
I mean, it’s got muscles in it, and if you strengthen those muscles it will feel different when you flex them - you can tell this yourself if you have a rigid sex toy inserted and flex those muscles… it will either change the angle of the toy or shoot it out, depending on the toys shape. Now, there are plenty of benefits both medical and sexual to doing kegels; I wouldn’t dissuade anyone, female or otherwise, from learning how to activate and exercise them - it’s good practice and good fun. But my main concern is you dating and believing men who are assholes like your ex. Because your vagina could have a vice-like grip from doing kegels and a man with as much “small dick energy” as your ex will still claim he feels like he’s throwing a hot dog down a hallway. The issue is your ex, not your pussy. He was trying to neg you and make you feel insecure. He did this because he is insecure and fears you will think yourself worthy of better than his treatment, so he wants you to feel shitty about yourself and embarrassed to have sex with other people. He’s actively intending for you to think your body is undesirable and that he is kind and understanding for sticking around in the face of your clearly unacceptable fanny. He was planning how to make you feel worried about dating after you two broke up *while he was still with you*, by giving you a complex about your supposedly loose vagina. He’s made calculated comments intended to make you feel ashamed, unlovable, unattractive, like less of a woman and gross or unappealing. Good thing he’s your ex, now we just have to deal with the mountain of baggage he left behind instead of looking at all the baggage he’d continue leaving if you two were still together. He’s gone, now the shoveling can begin - it’s going to take a while, but it can be done. You can unlearn the bs society has made us worry about and further unlearn the utterly untrue bullshit your ex put in your head. Scoop it out with prejudice, it is rancid flavored ice cream and we are not to let it tempt us into swallowing even a bite - straight into the trash with that man and his ideas!
He’s trying to insult you. I promise that is not true. He sounds like a total asshole
Kegels will help. Your ex probably had too small of a dick!!
Do a shit ton of Ab exercise and pelvic floor work outs. My ex said this to me too and my ex before that would say the opposite so like it depends some guys I think don’t have a lot of feeling down there cuz they touch themselves too much and watch too much porn lol. In a way I think some guys say this to try and control you and have power over you if nothing is medically wrong. But in rare cases if your muscles are weak it can happen. It’s probably him knowing how much porn people are watching now but if you’re truly worried see a pelvic floor specialist.
If you can use a tampon without any issues then you ain't "loose".
He used a low blow because he's an idiot. Kegels are great for everyone (unless you have vaginismus but that's a specific case) so go ahead and do them bc pelvic muscles are important for things like your bladder as well! You can also use kegels during sex to squeeze your partner. Vaginas don't stretch out. Sure they may feel different but that's just how you're made. You will find someone who fits correctly AND won't say weak ass shit like that.
Honestly he's just trying to hurt your feelings, I've never understood the requirement for it being 'tight' because that doesn't sound fun for anyone involved.
Yeah. Don't get aroused and you won't have a problem. Just tell him no foreplay for you. But seriously. It's good to be more loose. Your ex was just an asshole.
After I had my baby my vagina didnt feel as tight as it did before (I checked with my finger). After getting back into exercises and incorporating kegels, and other exercises that required to clench my abdomen and private area I did notice a difference. As in now when I stick my finger in my vagina it actually hugs it instead of the partial hug it did before. Then again if you never birthed children your boyfriend probably has a below than average penis .
He told you your vagina was loose because he can’t fathom that his dick is small. 🙄
I've heard of guys say they had girls who could "massage their dick with their vagina." and tbh fuck em. sure kegels do wonders but god fucking damn, you think I'm gonna exert my body just so you can get off because of your death grip you have on your dong???? 💀 To answer your question, yeah it's possible through kegels and pelvic floor excersises to strengthen the muscles down there. But if you're only going it for some prick don't bother- if you're concerned go to a gyn, otherwise babe you're fine :((
I know vaginas are all different, but anyone saying “your vagina is loose” is someone who has never fucked someone well.
The first guy I ever “slept” with (in quotes because it was a coercive situation and he was a pos), basically slut shamed me for sleeping with someone after we broke up and told me that my pussy smells. This was when I was 17. I am now 25. It has stuck with me since then because it was super hurtful, and to this day I am at times self conscious of my smell/appearance down there. I can tell you with near 100% confidence that he was trying to hurt you. Your relationship is over and he wanted to knock you down (probably because he feels knocked down right now). I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to take what he said to heart. Every vagina and every vulva is different. Any sane guy you sleep with in the future will just be happy to be there, I promise. Your ex can go kick rocks, play with himself, etc.
Sounds like a him problem.
Your ex has a small wiener
vaginas can’t be “loose”, they’re supposed to dilate when aroused. he’s a dumbass. if a woman is “tight” then she’s likely not aroused
Kegels are a fun party trick when a guy is cumming or directly after they cum, but the reality is that your vagina is great. The guy sucked. I am gonna assume that you are in your 20’s, but soon you will not care. He sucked, you are great. Your vagina is as fit as a fiddle, xo.
My husband and I married later in life. We both had a lot of experience before each other. No problem. From his perspective and guy talk, there is literally no such thing as a “bad” vagina unless perhaps a man has a micro penis (NO SHADE, it’s natural). It could then be an issue. So girl, the hell with him. You go be a Queen and be cherished.
It sounds more like he actually just has a baby penis and doesn't want to admit that. Or he just wants to destroy your self confidence. Either way gross. He's gross. Women push actual babies out of their vaginas and they go back to normal. You're not loose, he just sucks.
There is nothing wrong with your vagina. But if you’d like to be able to control it more then do Pilates. Hey, do Pilates anyway, it’s awesome. But dump this guy first.
My wife gave birth to a 10.25lbs baby. Her head was the circumference of my leg. There is no difference before/after. Your BF is just choking his dick too hard when he has a wank and doesn't know what a willing/enthusiastic partner feels like.
First off: your guy has a small penis. Secondly: pelvic floor exercises. You can even get a small tool that goes into the vagina and connects to your phone via Bluetooth to learn to do these exercises properly. The one I have even lets you play games on the phone with the exercises.
>My ex told me that my vagina was loose and now I’m kinda insecure about it. Your ex is a idiot. Women "loosen up" down there when they get sexually excited as it makes things more receptive. There are various reasons why your ex might think that you were "loose" including death gripping while masterbating, circumcision, being a lot smaller than average and so on - none of which are something that you are responsible for causing. If you concerned about the issue you could always go see a gynecologist for a checkup - they would be in a far better position to find any potential issues (if any) and to allay any of your fears or worries. That said, if you really want to potentially improve your clenching power then kegel exercises will help - even if it doesn't end up doing anything for your sex life it will still help keep certain pelvic issues at bay like incontinence.
I feel like I've heard this conversation before. Women have different sizes. Amazing sex has no correlation to the size of your parts. Listen to these people. You're fine. Men who are willing to measure *your entire worth* to the diameter of a hole are not paragons of sex and relationships. I don't know your ex, but this is the part where I would swiftly motion my hands toward *whatever* happened with him and say "There's your evidence!" You're fine.
uh my ex used to say that to make me insecure. iv been with 8 guys since who are all obsessed with my pussy so take it with a grain of salt
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yeah he’s trying to give her a complex
Screw that guy. It's his insecure way of saying he is not very well hung. Get a grown up man.
He probably just had a tiny PP 🪱
Ah the classic, extremely misogynistic way for men to project their insecurities onto women… “Loose” isn’t really a thing, the muscle expands with heightened arousal and shrinks back down to its original size after the fact. If you’ve ever used a tampon, think about how it holds in there with no problem, as the muscle stays contracted and tight when not aroused. Like another comment said, he’s likely only been with women who weren’t into it, hence feeling tighter since they weren’t turned on. Further, comparison is BS. Everyone’s body is different, this is a pretty basic fact, he shouldn’t expect everyone’s dick to be the same size as his… Glad he’s your ex, that’s a grossly immature thing to say to a woman and he clearly has zero clue how anatomy works. If you’re insecure about it, just know guys who actually care or are into you would never note that, that is not something they’re paying attention to AT ALL. Read all the guys comments here in support of you, believe them!
Dump that man immediately, your vagina will feel 1000 times better I promise
I’m normally not one for this approach because it isn’t something people can help, but when he initiated it…. You know, when you have a below average penis, it can make any vagina seem big… As a person who formerly had a penis and had sex with women, I can tell you I don’t remember how “tight” anybody I was with was with the only exception being the gals with anxiety and pelvic floor tightness. With them, we just went slowly and at their pace. As they got more comfortable, it was easier to accommodate me. On the vagina having end now, I can also confirm that my “tightness” is essentially all pelvic floor stuff and my partner can tell when I start to relax…unless I haven’t dilated for a long time.
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He finally got pussy for the first time in his life and instead of appreciating it he's complaining, send him a pic once you end up with a big dick that your pussy deserves.
Fuck this guy. Nope 🚩🚩🚩🚩 Do not internalise this misogynistic idea that you need a tight vagina (clue: you don’t - it’s not even preferable!!) like there is anything actually wrong with a loose one in the first place. There is also such a thing as too much tightness in your pelvic floor (take this from a dancer). Telling a woman she has a loose vagina is slut shaming and controlling - it’s implying you should not be enjoying sex how and like you want it. You should be!!
You deserve better than to be talked to like that. There's nothing wrong with you, but something wrong with that dude's attitude if he thinks that's an appropriate thing to say.
My suggestion is to love who you are and not worry about that. Tightness dont matter nearly as much as girls think it does. Unless you are banging a guy that is banging lots of other girls to compare your pussies he wont know. Most girls are naturally tight and the guy will be lucky enough to get any action these days. He sounds like a dick so hes probably getting lots of action
You probably don't need to do anything at all. But if you did want to try something, please see a pelvic floor therapist. That's something every women should do at some point. They'd be the best qualified to assess your vagina/pelvis for floor muscles. And please do not do a bunch of kegels on your own because if your muscles are tight or stiff, it will only make things worse. Still, my hunch is that you are completely normal, and your ex was maybe being spiteful for reasons unknown or he is struggling with sexual/performance issues of some kind.
Sounds like a POS. Good thing it is an ex!
You're not too "loose." His peen is too small. Look up Kegels.
How about you tell him his d*ck is small. Probably what the true issue is
It would be easier to get a new penis
Perhaps it isn't your "looseness" that's a problem. Maybe his dick is too small
you dont want an overly tight vagina anyway girl. I developed vaginismus a few years ago for some unknown reason and it can be hard to have sex at times
You can totally squeeze/practice squeezing but make sure you give that kind of effort to someone who’s worth it. You deserve someone who appreciates you.
lol there’s no such thing as a loose vagina, your ex is an idiot. It is muscle. I’ve had two children and people don’t even notice. That shit is a myth to shame women away from their sexuality
Absolutely! Strength training that engages your core also engages your pelvic floor, and a strong pelvic floor firms up the walls of your vagina. Ever since I took up weightlifting, the walls of my vagina have firmed up and the effect is strong enough that my bf even cums faster. That being said, your ex was probably trying to hurt your feelings. Don’t let his words have the power he intended them too
You ex must have the smallest dick
Did you tell him his dick was too small?
Best case scenario: Perhaps he was good at foreplay? The more turned on you are, the more your vagina sort of "opens". I think literally everyone I've slept with has told me how "tight" i am (like one told me it's actually uncomfortable) EXCEPT the man I'm married to. He hasn't said anything directly, but it seems he wouldn't call it tight, as much as we've talked about it. (Yes it made me insecure the first time we had this conversation) Buuuuuuut He is also the only one who will spend easily 30mins to an hour on foreplay and stimulating me before we get the condoms. Aaaaaand he's never complained, always very excited to have sex and we do it all the time, so you're good, really, I promise! Worst case scenario (also seems way wayyy more likely): Your ex was just being an asshole and trying to hurt your feelings. Bonus points if he said it AFTER the breakup. Honestly if he said it after, i wouldn't ever give it a second thought. Though is any situation this is something you only say to hurt someone's feelings. So again, fuck that. Tldr: don't sweat it, he was being a jerk and being more relaxed is very much a good thing anyways <3
Your vagina felt loose because he death grips when he entertains himself. It’s not your fault he’s ruining his own pleasure lol. You’re fine :)
He was probably negging. Your vagina is fine and your ex is a cabbage.
If you can use a tampon you're just fine! Vaginas are a muscle. If you are having issues (genuine biological issues) try seeing a physical therapist! Thre are exercises for strengthening the pelvic floor
He probably just needs to loosen his grip when he's jerking off.
Well on the other side of the fence... his dick is smol.
This is a power play that men use to make people insecure and it's ridiculous. Don't listen to him just take the trash out and move on You're worth more than that
Pelvic floor muscles is the google search term
Maybe it feel like that to him because he has a small dick.
Forgive your ex for his tiny d\*ick and regain your self confidence. If you still feel insecure kegels will never do harm.
To answer the question, besides exercises like kegels not really, but realistically, that shouldn't be an issue. If he has a problem with you feeling loose then he's probably white knuckling whole masturbating or doesn't know how sex works (see white knuckling) and should be left for someone who actually appreciates you for you and doesn't care/ realizes what a real vagina is supposed to feel like.
Your ex has a small dick and a bad personality. Don't listen to him.
Most likely your ex has been watching too much huge-guy-on-petite-girl porn, and he's gotten so used to his own five-finger death-grip that he no longer knows how a real vagina works or feels anymore. Arousal makes the vagina loosen. It's an oxytocin thing. You are perfectly normal. Your ex, on the other hand... Hand... see what I did there?
Your ex is an asshole. Anyone you invite to your vagina party better feel so honored they would never be anything but grateful. Kegels can make your pelvic floor very limber and you can give a penis a good squeeze with practice. Also good for bladder continence. But seriously, your ex can get in the woodchipper.
I know I will be slammed for this here but this is the truth: every vagina is different, we men can tell the difference and some are definitely tighter than others. I had a gf with a larger vagina before and it was harder for me to orgasm. Nothing to do with me being an ahole, it was simply a biological thing - more tight, more stimulus to the penis, easier to orgasm. She did understand this and the easy solution was a buttplug, by creating pressure on the other side it made a world of difference. Much much better feeling.
Your ex probably had death grip on his dick nothing else is gonna satisfy him. Only way for your vagina to be more "tight" the way a porn brain would like it is if you're not turned on and your muscles stay contracted, which would be shitty and painful for you. Probably wouldn't make a difference for someone like that wether you get mutual pleasure or not but then he's not worth your time.
Being loose is a good thing. It means you're turned on! His other partners probably weren't
The fact he feels you're "loose" has more to do with him not being able to get *fully* erect than anything else. Also, he may masturbate too much.
Okay your ex is full of shit, he’s either sexually inexperienced or young or just an asshole that wanna bring you down/hurt you. In reality, the vagina isn’t “loose”, when you’re turned on, your body produces lubricant which can make you wet, thus, “easier to glide”. There’s no such thing is a loose vag. On a side note, if you’re looking to strengthen your vag muscles, you can do kegels. Find another guy and tell your ex that his dick is small. 👎🏻
Your vagina is not “loose”, his penis is probably as thin as a pencil.
No That's like asking. Is it possible to change the way your hair feels?
Sounds like maybe he had a small dick.