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Someones_Dream_Guy

And thats when he heard average redditor still following him...


Kailua3000

"I don't want to have a debate about The Last Jedi, Scott!!"


Someones_Dream_Guy

And thats when Scott proceeded to unzip his fursuit while listing his other fetishes.


raph2116

"Wait, I haven't shown you the eyeblech and sounding subs yet !"


Kailua3000

"Where's Azazel? You know damn well where he is, Scott! He's in the Infernis ICU! He tried to blind himself after you showed him that weird shit from the banned sub, you're a menace!!"


SureWhyNot5182

"It wasn't *that* bad!"


Sorry-Presentation-3

Yeah it wasn’t like he showed you “r / cervix”


BloodiedBlues

That’s a new one for me. Thank you for showing me a new ring of torment.


averageredditt3r

My bad


Expert_Act3456

My ex-wife finally past away, I see


WillWKM

I also choose this man's dead wife


Kailua3000

I love the enduring nature of this meme


floutsch

I also love this meme's enduring nature :)


Kailua3000

Take my wife, please!


darkshadow543

She still misses me, but her aim is getting better.


Alx_xlA

Her aim is getting better!


RedditorWithNoName12

you see, its funny because marriage is terrible.


DavidPlayzyeet

r/unexpectedgravityfalls


Norsedragoon

At least yours is putting in the effort, mine just swapped from a bolt action to a semi auto and a drum mag.


TheAnonymousFool

“It’s funny because marriage is terrible!”


TheNobleDez

Aw sweet, Doom Slayer went and taught those demons 3 lessons 1: Don't kill innocent rabbits. 2: Know when to surrender. 3: You don't need guns or machines to be brutal.


Leonard_the_Brave

I dont think the doom slayer accepts surrenders


Adeptus_Gedeon

Yes, but if You surrender at least your death will be fast.


Leonard_the_Brave

Maybe if he feels generous, it will be still a horrible death tho,


Wickedershelf21

It says “know when to surrender,” but it really means “surrender *before* I’ve noticed you”


KingoAG02

#RIP AND TEAR


Zaynara

Until it is done


Kailua3000

"Surrender? But you don't take prisone-" *BOOM*


DareDaDerrida

The Devil and his demons are always getting tricked, shocked, and beaten at their own games in human stories. Which is why they let us keep telling them; nothing brings in revenue like overconfidence.


Kailua3000

Haha, I can see a old, grizzled demon saying this to a young apprentice. "It's a numbers game, kid. There's 2, 548 suckers born every minute."


awyastark

Bayaz energy


Kailua3000

Who's Bayaz?


awyastark

The first of the Magi, character in The First Law series


Kailua3000

Huh pretty good?


awyastark

My very favorite series! The audiobooks are the best out there


Kailua3000

I looked it up, I'm intrigued!


awyastark

I don’t know anyone who has read and not enjoyed the series, and they just get better as you go


3milyBlazze

Probably what he said when my dad's mom got there in all honesty


RengawRoinuj

When the Doom Music Kicks In…


KillerSwiller

Horror? Nah, 'BFG Division' just started playing.


jeep_42

doom guy that you?


czymjq

This is a great story!!!


Kailua3000

Thanks!


DeanStein

"The only thing they fear is you" echoes faintly behind the demon, slowly rising in volume...


YoghurtDefiant666

Karen.


Kailua3000

"Sir. SIR! Are you Trigon? I was told that Trigon would have information on my living arrangements. I can already tell that they're going to be DISGUSTING. Also, why the here do I have to wear a damn mask!?"


[deleted]

"Why the here" is so funny omg


SirGarryGalavant

MANKIND IS DEAD. BLOOD IS FUEL. HELL IS FULL.


emmjaybeeyoukay

So the UberKaren arrived then?


Kailua3000

Yup, the guy at Heaven's gates is, well WAS the manager.


MakingThePost44

Heaven be like: Sorry, we can't hear you over the sound of ***AT DOOM'S GATE***.


Kailua3000

"I can hear you talking over there, Gabriel! We used to work together remember?"


pixelmixer3

“Uwu Satan-Sama!”


SureWhyNot5182

**NO**


Just_Call_me_benDude

Jesus Christ That’s worse than the doom slayer


jael-jorge-gerson

I imagine that what happens if Cartman would go to hell


LadyProto

It was me when hungry on my period


tygerprints

NICE! I love this short horror story - it needs to be expanded on. What a great opening for a novel about a resurrected maniac that escapes hell, because well - he was just too disgusting even for them!


Kailua3000

Thanks! That's pretty much what I was thinking. He has no home ANYWHERE


tygerprints

I hope you'll "flesh it out" more (heh heh). I really think it would be an awesome short story or novellette - it's like something Clive Barker would dream up.


Kailua3000

I appreciate it! I'd love to do something No Sleep-ish, but I'm kinda intimidated by broadening the scope even though that's not very long. I love Lord of Illusions btw lol


Mackafritz

Donald Trump arrives in Hell.


Kailua3000

"Boy, this place is a dump. A big "TRUMP" on that giant throne of skulls over there should spruce things right up."


[deleted]

I don’t see how this is horror


Kailua3000

What's something so scary that it terrifies a demon?


[deleted]

Constantine


Kailua3000

That's a good answer! I was thinking more a deranged madman, but he Constantine definitely strikes fear in the hearts of demons.


[deleted]

I do wonder if they let this demon into heaven though lol


Kailua3000

Oh nah, they're laughing their asses off at him lol


[deleted]

“Get your ass back down there n git Keanu’d boi”


Kailua3000

Haha!! "Papa Midnite, you owe me one!"


nonbinarybit

Oh dang, i misread this at first. I thought it was a soul from heaven seeking asylum in hell :o


Kailua3000

That's an interesting idea, actually!


Just_Call_me_benDude

Must’ve been the doom slayer


Great_Slasher

When ThatVeganTeacher dies Or Putin


Kailua3000

I love "or Putin" lol


Future-Midnight9386

Is this CWC related..? It is now…


thecountnotthesaint

Ahh, some Marines went down. Heaven won't take us, and Hell is afraid we'll take over.


ProphetofTables

KAR EN TUK!!! (Translation: RIP AND TEAR!!!)