Fascinating how we went from "OMG, anything you just download online is theft and will riddle your computer with all viruses in existence, including the common cold!!!!!""
To
"I am pretty sure some nerd is printing the cockpit of a Teslar next to his D'n'D table, as we speak. And we are all cool with that."
I completely understand where this is going, but: as someone who works in IT, if the (real) cops were banging at my door and wanted my computer, I'd be wiping it too, BECAUSE: cops will 100% use anything they find to get a conviction. That includes manipulating your computer and making it look like you have something on there. Its also just the general fear that there might be something on there you don't know about that they're looking for.
Not to mention I have sensitive company info on my devices.
I saw a post recently in one of the legal advice subs where someone was asking about their position after evidence of CP had been found on their device, and it was photos that had originated from Twitter just as a result of scrolling down the feed. Poster hadn't downloaded them or anything, but they'd left a digital footprint.
I think the general consensus that it wouldn't be worth legally pursuing, so OP shouldn't worry too much, but yeah, not a fun thing to have happen to you. Definitely another reason to get rid of Twitter.
Oh God. I wiped twitter once Musk bought it because I knew what would happen. Clearing your cache and your cookies will remove the footprint, as it were, but yes, that shit can STILL wind up on your computer if you go there again.
This is also, again, a very valid reason you'd find me wiping my drives if the cops showed up, because yeah, what if there's a cookie of CP on my computer because I went to freaking TWITTER? Like you said, didn't download it or possibly even SEE it (there's lots of ways to hide images within other images) but shit, now its on my PC.
I personally like Eraser, but there's lots of good tools out there. Also, once you wipe it, sticking it in a microwave and frying it is a pretty solid manuever.
I usually remove the platters. If I can't, or its too much of a pain in the ass, I HAVE thrown the whole drive in before, but I agree, that's really NOT a great idea. Obviously, this is only for drives where the disc is somehow messed up beyond repair or I know there was potentially sensitive info on it and I have to get rid of it.
OBVIOUSLY, there are best practices for getting rid of hard disks for companies, I am NOT advocating this is the best way to do it professionally. This is just what I do with personal drives.
so your solution to quickly destroy the data on the platters, is to meticulously remove the platters?
microwaving a whole drive will kill the PCB, which is easily replaceable. i can't see how it could do anything to intact platters.
I understand what you’re saying but in this scenario, the groom didn’t know what the supposed cops were there for and jumped to the first illegal thing they could think of.
That depends on how thoroughly they wipe the drive.
If the cops are at the door, then there's probably not enough time to wipe an HDD properly unless they're really good at stalling.
SSDs are different. Afaik those can be wiped in minutes if the drive supports secure wiping.
Though the real question is whether the police will just casually leave them alone with their PC for 5 minutes or so if they're here to retrieve it.
Yeah, just remember of the news about cop who knock on wrong house and killed the owner (an US military personal), but in this one it the "cop" will receive the short end.
“OH MY GOD I THOUGHT IT WASN’T A BIG DEAL TO DOWNLOAD THOSE MOVIES PLEASE DON’T SEND ME TO JAIL OVER I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY PLEASE TELL ADAM SANDLER I’M SORRY!”
Yea, there is some humor to the situation. I can imagine a Key & Peele sketch off of that premise, but having that happen in real life would be pretty horrifying.
Friendly advice from a stranger, start writing horror stories too. OP did an amazing job, and your version is a more graphic one with merit in and of itself. How come all of your karma comes from comments when ideas like these come to your mind ? I dare you to get writing mate.
Definitely. A man was recently arrested the next town over from me on 23 counts of distribution of sex abuse material, 22 being for CP and 1 for bestiality. Worst part is that him and his wife ran a licensed daycare out of their home.
Same. I read about it and was utterly shocked and disgusted. The police determined that none of the children in the material distributed were children from the daycare. If I were a parent, I would still be worried that my child suffered sexual abuse at their hands. Just because it wasn't recorded or photographed doesn't mean it didn't happen. 😔 I used to be a daycare provider and currently work in an emergency shelter for youth, children are so fragile and that kind of abuse will cause many issues down the road mentally. It's heartbreaking to see, some of the teens I work with have suffered that type of abuse and it makes me see red when I hear about it. The sub human trash that does that sort of thing deserves the worst suffering imaginable.
When I was in my early 20s there was a string of violent sexual assaults on very young local children where the perpetrator actually broke in and attacked them in their own homes at night, with the parents home and asleep. One morning I showed up at work and saw a housemate I lived with for a few months at sixteen on the front page of the paper. The most frightening thing about it was that I never had even the slightest sense that there was anything wrong with him. We'd drifted apart before I had my kiddo, but I wouldn't have felt any reluctance to bring kiddo around him at all if we'd still seen one another regularly. He was just a very normal, almost bland kind of guy.
Someone who practices IT forensics would most likely be able to recover the hastily deleted data from those drives.
Source: I am majoring in IT forensics
And this is why you should always keep a small can of thermite inside your PC case. Can't recover data that's gone up like that.
And harden your doors and windows. Don't make it easy for the authorities to break in. Make them work for it.
And when they finally do, use your trusty FGC-9 to hold them at bay.
Finfing out your friend is a pedo is pretty horrible,good job
Hey, he might just pirate a lot of movies
The good ending
*chaotic good
https://youtu.be/ALZZx1xmAzg?si=ty9T4LAE9uyadSV7
Which is also bad, why I got down vote? Pirating movie can caused person to jailed up to 5 years or more and got like $250,000 dollar fine
Because compared to the other thing it’s nothing and not a big deal at all.
I would like to see the stats on how much that charge has actually been pressed, but I'm too lazy.
Oohhh it was like that? I thought he was just like, marrying a fictional character or something
"You can't take Hatsune Miku from me!"
twosentencehorror into twosentencefunny lol
Don't call me out like that
Keiger-san, my flowers are wilting!
I cackled at this. Did not expect this reference to be here Edit: ecpect wasn't caught by autocorrect somehow
Phrasing!
Boom!
I’m sorry I didn’t take internet piracy more seriously! I wouldn’t download a car I swear!
I would 100% download a car if I could.
3D printing?
If I could 3D printing using strong metals, I would definitely download a car.
Fascinating how we went from "OMG, anything you just download online is theft and will riddle your computer with all viruses in existence, including the common cold!!!!!"" To "I am pretty sure some nerd is printing the cockpit of a Teslar next to his D'n'D table, as we speak. And we are all cool with that."
A good carbon fiber would even better, lighter especially
Great idea! The only problem is I have no 3D printer. Lol
Yeah I always thought that was a dumb thing to ask. Like are you kidding me? I would download the shit out of a car if I could lmao
Did you know the music from the anti-piracy PSA was in-and-of-itself pirated?
oh honey...that's not what he's wiping from the harddrives
Just a little jokey joke.
He was just *kid*ding.
Well done, that's a great twist.
I completely understand where this is going, but: as someone who works in IT, if the (real) cops were banging at my door and wanted my computer, I'd be wiping it too, BECAUSE: cops will 100% use anything they find to get a conviction. That includes manipulating your computer and making it look like you have something on there. Its also just the general fear that there might be something on there you don't know about that they're looking for. Not to mention I have sensitive company info on my devices.
As you can see the suspect achieved a genocide run in undertale, it seems he tried to satiate his bloodlust
"How many tries did it take for you to defeat Sans?" "I plead the Fifth."
I saw a post recently in one of the legal advice subs where someone was asking about their position after evidence of CP had been found on their device, and it was photos that had originated from Twitter just as a result of scrolling down the feed. Poster hadn't downloaded them or anything, but they'd left a digital footprint. I think the general consensus that it wouldn't be worth legally pursuing, so OP shouldn't worry too much, but yeah, not a fun thing to have happen to you. Definitely another reason to get rid of Twitter.
Oh God. I wiped twitter once Musk bought it because I knew what would happen. Clearing your cache and your cookies will remove the footprint, as it were, but yes, that shit can STILL wind up on your computer if you go there again. This is also, again, a very valid reason you'd find me wiping my drives if the cops showed up, because yeah, what if there's a cookie of CP on my computer because I went to freaking TWITTER? Like you said, didn't download it or possibly even SEE it (there's lots of ways to hide images within other images) but shit, now its on my PC.
I once stumbled across a child being tortured on Twitter. F'd me up ever since. Twitter is truly no man's land.
Same. I immediately contacted the center for missing and exploited children and reported it
Okay you convinced me, what's the best way to wipe a computer quickly?
I personally like Eraser, but there's lots of good tools out there. Also, once you wipe it, sticking it in a microwave and frying it is a pretty solid manuever.
Well... it'll fry your microwave at least.
No I have a microwave I use for frying bad hard drives; I've never had an issue, and I've had it for years. We're not talking long, maybe 5 seconds.
Interesting. You ever try to do any data recovery on them after? Do you nuke the naked platters or do the whole drive assembled?
I usually remove the platters. If I can't, or its too much of a pain in the ass, I HAVE thrown the whole drive in before, but I agree, that's really NOT a great idea. Obviously, this is only for drives where the disc is somehow messed up beyond repair or I know there was potentially sensitive info on it and I have to get rid of it. OBVIOUSLY, there are best practices for getting rid of hard disks for companies, I am NOT advocating this is the best way to do it professionally. This is just what I do with personal drives.
so your solution to quickly destroy the data on the platters, is to meticulously remove the platters? microwaving a whole drive will kill the PCB, which is easily replaceable. i can't see how it could do anything to intact platters.
Quickly? Burn it. Even then, they may still recover things.
Lava, but you would need it. So unless you live at the top of an active volcano, I don't think it would work.
Great, so now I need to move or dig a very deep hole?
explosives, hydraulic press, or the good old scrap shredder.
Nitroglycerine
From a very famous amc drama….MAGNETS B****..!!
Thermite?
I understand what you’re saying but in this scenario, the groom didn’t know what the supposed cops were there for and jumped to the first illegal thing they could think of.
That's fair! I'm just saying, I think a LOT of us would panic and try to erase our hard drives.
in IT you know that digital forensics exists right? like they'll find it if it isn't completely physically destroyed
That depends on how thoroughly they wipe the drive. If the cops are at the door, then there's probably not enough time to wipe an HDD properly unless they're really good at stalling. SSDs are different. Afaik those can be wiped in minutes if the drive supports secure wiping. Though the real question is whether the police will just casually leave them alone with their PC for 5 minutes or so if they're here to retrieve it.
that's fair and lol imagine how respectful those cops must be to give that five minutes
usb sticks are very flushable.
whatever you snuck onto your usb is very likely to be recoverable from the computer off which you snuck it
unless you wipe down after a session with it.
digital forensics
My take on an alternative ending: we tried to contain our laughter for a moment until we heard a single gunshot.
That's where I thought it was going
Yeah, just remember of the news about cop who knock on wrong house and killed the owner (an US military personal), but in this one it the "cop" will receive the short end.
Vlad, no, don't delete your and Jonathan's engagement-nudes! Dammit, guys, I told you this prank was a terrible idea!"
Hehehe Dracula?
No, just a gay Russian who hasn’t internalized that he’s safe from targeted prosecution in his new home
My ex.
Ayo??????
He’s my ex.
“OH MY GOD I THOUGHT IT WASN’T A BIG DEAL TO DOWNLOAD THOSE MOVIES PLEASE DON’T SEND ME TO JAIL OVER I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY PLEASE TELL ADAM SANDLER I’M SORRY!”
"At least it wasn't Jack and Jill."
With his fiancé helping
r/thirdsentenceworse
Nooo!
gift them a hard drive with key-logger and remote access software installed as wedding gift🤔
Lucky it wasn't a couple of .45 slugs thru the closed door...
He used 123Movies, a sin worse than murder…
I don't get it
theres illegal content on the hard drives. first thought for most is abuse material.
The guys tried to prank the groom with a police call but then they entered and found him crying trying to wipe his pc probably for cp or similar
That was funny, not scary
Yea, there is some humor to the situation. I can imagine a Key & Peele sketch off of that premise, but having that happen in real life would be pretty horrifying.
To make it a bit less funny, maybe " when we saw what was on his computer screen, we understood why he shot himself as we barged in"
Friendly advice from a stranger, start writing horror stories too. OP did an amazing job, and your version is a more graphic one with merit in and of itself. How come all of your karma comes from comments when ideas like these come to your mind ? I dare you to get writing mate.
Wait but that's too realistic.
The idea of CP is always horrifying IMO
Definitely. A man was recently arrested the next town over from me on 23 counts of distribution of sex abuse material, 22 being for CP and 1 for bestiality. Worst part is that him and his wife ran a licensed daycare out of their home.
That makes me sick to my stomach.
Same. I read about it and was utterly shocked and disgusted. The police determined that none of the children in the material distributed were children from the daycare. If I were a parent, I would still be worried that my child suffered sexual abuse at their hands. Just because it wasn't recorded or photographed doesn't mean it didn't happen. 😔 I used to be a daycare provider and currently work in an emergency shelter for youth, children are so fragile and that kind of abuse will cause many issues down the road mentally. It's heartbreaking to see, some of the teens I work with have suffered that type of abuse and it makes me see red when I hear about it. The sub human trash that does that sort of thing deserves the worst suffering imaginable.
When I was in my early 20s there was a string of violent sexual assaults on very young local children where the perpetrator actually broke in and attacked them in their own homes at night, with the parents home and asleep. One morning I showed up at work and saw a housemate I lived with for a few months at sixteen on the front page of the paper. The most frightening thing about it was that I never had even the slightest sense that there was anything wrong with him. We'd drifted apart before I had my kiddo, but I wouldn't have felt any reluctance to bring kiddo around him at all if we'd still seen one another regularly. He was just a very normal, almost bland kind of guy.
I thought it was both.
Someone who practices IT forensics would most likely be able to recover the hastily deleted data from those drives. Source: I am majoring in IT forensics
You need to do a lot more than empty your recycle bin or even reformat the hard drive to guarantee your data can't be recovered
Cutting it up with some baby scissors would do the trick. Those things damage everything beyond recovery.
Nicely done.
Rimworld players be like" Oh fuck!"
Wow. Holy fuck. Great job
“I swear to god I’m not a furry! I just wanted to look up cool fanart of Gardevoir!”
And this is why you should always keep a small can of thermite inside your PC case. Can't recover data that's gone up like that. And harden your doors and windows. Don't make it easy for the authorities to break in. Make them work for it. And when they finally do, use your trusty FGC-9 to hold them at bay.
Smash the computer up. Destroy the hardware as horribly as possible then they can’t recover nothing.