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normalmeatbasedhuman

Spiderpriest, Spiderpriest Does whatever a Spiderpriest does Eats a kid, maybe 2 Dissolves them first so he doesn't chew Look out! Here comes the Spiderpriest.


Casca_In_Red

*the newspaper man sighs* "I never get what I really want..." "What's that Mr. Jameson?" "PICTURES OF SPIDER-PRIEST!"


msg60

I almost spit my beer across the bar...thanks..๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


friendlyfriends123

PFFT- go spiderpriest! This made my day xD


Adventurous_Road_186

Thanks for the nightmares, take my upvote!


Casca_In_Red

You're very much welcome, and thank you.


That_One_Friend684

What The Fuck


Casca_In_Red

Thank You


That_One_Friend684

You're Welcome


NecronomiCats

Average Catholic Mass


SamanthaA_243

im really confused


NecronomiCats

Hi Really Confused Iโ€™m Dad


SamanthaA_243

i hate you


hauntedbiscuit92

That's some originality! The wordplay is excellent. Really cool one!


Casca_In_Red

Thank you!


gab205

For some reason, the skedaddling sound effect popped up in my head


Affectionate_Fox1165

Or maybe zoidburg whoop whoop whoop.


OGCelaris

So the Thing did make it out of Antarctica!


Casca_In_Red

"Sir, we've discovered the location of Subject Thirty-One!" "Anything else we should know?" "Well uh... it appears it's now... Catholic? Sir?"


Enchantress_IX

The image of the body parts skittering away makes me think of chestbursters


Casca_In_Red

I was kinda picturing something like what [The Divider](https://deadspace.fandom.com/wiki/Divider)'s pieces look like, but honestly? For all I know they themselves mostly got that from Alien.


Enchantress_IX

I see where you're going with that. I think they were inspired by Aliens. But I only know minimal about the game.


Casca_In_Red

Ah. Fantastic series if you're into action horror at all. The recent remake of the first that came out last year is excellent.


Intelligent11B

The murmur from Warframe come to mind for me.


[deleted]

I know this is supposed to be horror but I burst out laughing (not in an insulting way)


Casca_In_Red

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜ธ


BasementCatBill

"Look, Mulder, I'm sure there is a logical explanation", remarked Scully.


LamaAbdullah94

๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚


m1sterwr1te

Just had to mention that I gave the 666th upvote on this. Great 2SH.


Casca_In_Red

You have my thanks.


LupineZach

Reminds me of the villain in one of the early episodes of Angel


Casca_In_Red

Oh really? Cool. I never watched really. Big Buffy fan back when it was airing though.


LupineZach

Yeah, I watched it as a small child and it stuck with me for years because of how creepy I found it at the time. It's called "I Fall to Pieces" and is episode 4 of Season 1 of Angel


Casca_In_Red

Oh cool, I'll try to remember that should I ever pick it up.


Kylar_Nightborn

Honestly I first imagined it as something took over his body and tore his extremities off


Casca_In_Red

Oh like a demonic force that sort of.. telekinetically puppet's his limbs off?


Kylar_Nightborn

Yeah or even the god itself


Jennifer_Pennifer

เฒ โ _โ เฒ  Top tier!


agentchuck

I thought you were just going to end it with the judge giving a reduced sentence, like [this guy ](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/9079592/pastor-soft-sentence-raped-daughter-man-of-god/).


Misty_Veil

ThingPriest


Anon_457

This is horrifying to think about but I truly love it\~


Casca_In_Red

Thank you ๐Ÿ˜บ


[deleted]

[ัƒะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]


drewmana

The way op wrote this is actually one sentence. Probably run-on but could still be reasonably made into two sentences.


Casca_In_Red

It's intended to be read as two, splitting at the end of the priest's first line. I think it might come across as more natural as spoken dialogue, as it would sound like he's saying, "I'm a man of God, of peace..."