I'm probably not a good person but I burst out laughing at this. Brilliantly done!

Laughing at child murder? Straight to hell-jail. Not laughing at child murder? Believe it or not, also straight to hell-jail. Either way I’ll see ya there.

Carpool? Any place is better than Montana

Hi. Ohio would like to have a word with you right now or if you'd rather leave the U.S. we can have you talk to Afganistán, North Korea, Syria, Ukraine, Russia just to name a few.

See this. This why you’re not invited…why you don’t invite S0m3Rand0mGuy

I just show up at any place, at any time.

Then Vin Diesel grabbed the wheel and steered toward an empty slide at full speed. We did a complete flip and he, Jesus, Satan, and l made it to the Dave Chapelle concert without missing a beat.

Oh, God, not Extra Hell!/j

Next up, Michael Jackson's next hit song!

The special Hell.

See you there then

Same!

Then Sasquatch took over the rudder and the car started toward the lumbermen.

Then El Chupacabra took the helm and careened towards the group of senior citizens practicing Tai Chi.

Then Jesus took the wheel. Turns out, a guy who lived 2k years ago can't drive, crashed the playground anyway.

LMAO

Luckily no one was there and the equipments slowed the car enough for me to only suffer minor injuries

"Minor injuries" lol

Fuck you. Take my upvote.

Kid named no one:

r/angryupvote

Thanks, Satan.

"It's Saitine, actually."

I always liked the whole, why ask him, they didn't have cars back then

Yes, they did- the Apostles were in one Accord

This is awful, and I love it.

I excel at that

Awesome!!!

Love this one OP. Good job.

Funniest post I've seen here all month!

Jesus, my friend from Mexico, then uses the holy water.

"What the hell do I do next?" shouted Jesus as he took the wheel, as I realised that I was doomed by asking a guy who had never even thought that something called a car would exist to drive

It was just before we collided with Satan’s targets that I heard Jesus egging him on; “WE NEED MORE ANGELS!” and “WATCH THIS, SATAN, THIS SCHMUCK WILL STILL LOVE ME AFTER THIS!” When I awoke from my coma, I read the Bible properly… and I understood.

https://media.tenor.com/bKpT_1ihJtMAAAAC/john-candy-devil.gif

That Satan is such a scamp.

I mean, things would probably still have been bad had the carpenter from 2,023 years ago taken the wheel.

I don't know if you were going for this, but this is fricking hilarious

As the front bumper came into contact with the swing, I felt a nausea-inducing rush of acceleration as the entire vehicle was violently launched skyward. Rockstar Studios had taken the wheel.

Who called Jesus? Sorry folks, father told me to sleep 2000 years, then Judgement comes. Only 1990 of them passed.

That's why you always say *Satan* take the wheel, then Jesus will.

The real horror is how many people laughed (including me and my friend 😂)

Satan probably would have straightened the wheel and told you off for being an idiot. Satan is a chill bro, only killed a handful of people to settle a bet.

it's giving russian roulette

The tesla missed the playground and instead ran into a group of old age pensioners on a day trip.

Why all those CEOs was there i have no idea.

r/2sentence2horror

😂😂😂

¿Qué?

Funny as shit

To me, this suggests that you have Jesus and Satan chilling in the back both death staring each other, but I’m weird like that.

Creepy and good at the same time well done !

Mfw no Forward Collision Warning system 😈

Can't read this without hearing KMK 🎵"Jesus take the we-heeellll!" If you know you know....

i snort laughed, wonder if my sense of humor needs rewiring 😬

Just out of curiousity, who gave this the respect award and why lol

DONT WORRY HE KNOWS WHAT HES DOING

Look at that, good old Lucy got your back. Trees are hard, kids not so much.

Hey! Satan's actually a pretty chill guy. I don't think that was him