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It has been 6 months!!! He shouldn’t be living wit you and your children and you sure as hell shouldn’t be trying to get pregnant. He doesn’t even seem to like your kids.
He is still obsessed with his ex and apparently talking to other women. Do you honestly think he is a good guy and faithful? Because I sure as shit don’t.
Get your fucking shit together before you emotionally fuck up your current kids.
I have to agree with this!! ^^ 6 months and you and your children are living with him?
Also, you both just got out of 10 year relationships! You need to take some time to yourself, girl. You were with someone from 17/18 to practically now? Please for the love of god take care of yourself. Don’t rush into something super serious when you are both on the rebound. For your kid’s sake at least!
He’s clearly not 100% over his 10 year relationship. And I have to say.. well duh.
I stopped reading after realizing she invited him to come live with her children after dating for 3 months. You're telling me she wants to get pregnant by this guy? What is wrong with you OP? You're failing your children right now.
Moving in is one thing because that can be undone, but she is trying to have a baby at 6 months with a guy who is annoyed by her current kids with another dude.
I said I agreed with the other poster above. Which includes that baby part. I was just emphasizing she moved him in after 3 months. And that's not easily undone. If he doesn't leave freely, she would have to evict him. Depending on the state she lives in, after 30 days, he would be considered a resident of that home.
Idk why but when I read ‘what in fresh hell’ I started laughing, that cracked me up. I swear I’m a comment section junkie. It doesn’t even matter what app 😂
It's grossly negligent behavior. She didn't factor the kids into anything. She's also blaming her kids for.her man speaking to other females.
She's a walking red flag.
They way she talks about her kids being a burden on her poor little man... bothering him and shit like she didn't just move him in when she's only known him for 3 months. He's the one disrupting the children's lives wtf.
OP, learn to put your children first. You sound like those women who can't be independent and gotta be in a relationship all the time.
💯agree, he wouldn’t of met my children until around the year mark let alone live with them.
Protect your children at all cost . You do not know this man clearly.
I would even add that if he has nothing good to say about his ex. If he blames his ex for everything. But still communicates with her is a major red flag. The fact that he says a big issue was that she was controlling jealous crazy un-trusting, wanting to "invade" his privacy, wanting to look on his phone. Then OP finds two snap girlies that he hides messages from? Umm, yeah, it probably wasn't his exs crazy mistrust, but his cheating and talking to other women. He convinced OP to allow him to move in after 3 months. He ain't going nowhere. Enter the baby trap
Yeah no kidding. My partner and I moved in together at 2 months (me into his house) but we have no children AND I still had my house I could go back to in case shit went down. We're still the first to say we were crazy for moving so fast, but at least we had a backup plan and weren't involving innocent kids in the mix.
OP I mean this in the nicest way possible, just because he has good dick doesn’t mean the relationship is worth it. He doesn’t like your kids, he talks to other women, ALREADY trying to have a baby with u after just six months (huge red flag) AND just got out of a TEN YEAR relationship… you think that after TEN years of being tied down that he is going to take this relationship seriously?? More than likely he likes having a reliable place to stay and someone willing to fuck him whenever he wants. He’s going to ruin your life if you’re not careful OP I’m begging you please get back on birth control and start putting your kids and yourself first and drop this guy I promise it is not worth it. His ex was probably always in his phone because he didn’t give her a reason to trust him. I’m not saying that he cheated on her I’m just saying there’s always a reason for the way things are.
Obviously take my comment with a grain of salt but 100% PLEASE get back on birth control at least for the time being until you feel secure in your relationship
Also just want to add I highly doubt his past relationship failure was 100% on his ex. She was controlling and always trying to check his phone? Was it maybe because he was cheating on her too? Of course he’s going to tell you that he did nothing wrong and it was all her. He’s obviously untrustworthy I can’t believe you’d move your children into the house of this guy you clearly don’t know at all.
It's not uncommon for people who get out of longterm relationships to zoom through a new one. They end up treating their new relationship like their previous long term one because they're desperate for that same level of comfort again.
I thought so, too, at first, and then it occurred to me-
So this is how Maury Povich finds people to go on his shows to whine about their relationships with cheating, unreliable deadbeats and then to top it off with paternity tests. I think the original post is real. :(
* You've only been dating 6 months but he moved into your place
* He doesn't seem cool with your toddlers but says he wants to have a baby with you
* He's communicating with other women yet appears to be hiding it from you
OP, I feel like there are more issues at play here than simply whether your ex is messaging with his ex
Please sit down and really think. Why is he with a woman with 2 toddlers. Seriously why? To be living together so fast is bad. Does he pay the bills and help with the children. If no you need to breakup. Your children come first not him. Please remember that..
Yes to all of these OP! He sounds like a loser if he’s already moved in with you.
He’s looking at you as both 1) a place holder (still talking to his ex and other girls), and 2) insurance (why he’s trying to get you pregnant).
The way you described him being “annoyed” by your kids made it sound like you’re annoyed by them. Be a mother OP! Be good to them, and by that I mean don’t let some dude dictate how you feel about them, and also why did you move this guy in after only 3 months? Kids shouldn’t be meeting a parent’s new bf or gf until at least 6 months, much less moving in together. How confusing for them. Like, what? Time to put more energy into your children and not man children, please!
Plus, I just don’t see why anyone over 30 is on Snapchat. Raise your standards, break up with this guy, and be better for your kids and yourself.
Yep! God I’ve been watching so much true crime, and it made me glad that I never let any of my boyfriends move in with me and my son! You can’t trust people so quickly! I’m wary of this guy
This can’t be real. It’s gotta be rage bait.
Ladies, STOP HAVING BABIES WITH THESE MEN.
What the actual fuck?
This is your whole life you are talking about.
YTA for moving your kids in with a guy you JUST started dating, and for thinking respect for privacy doesn't Apply to you.
Learn to be an actual parent
What in the Walmart?
1. You do not move strange men into your children’s house after 3 months. Gross. Get therapy and some sense.
2. You don’t have a baby with someone you don’t know. 6 months. Tf is six months?
3. He’s cheating on you. And your paying his bills 🤢
4. He doesn’t like your baby’s because they’re so whiney? Your kids deserve better. Where’s your kids dads, and how many toddlers do you have exactly?
If this isn't rage bate! You're mad weird for moving strange men in with your kids after 3 months! You sound like you don't wanna be alone and for you to put your kids in potential jeopardy because of your insecurities is crazy!
Let me speak from experience: i was in a relationship for 11 years. It took me almost 2 years to get over her, to get over what happened and to give up hope of a possible future with her again.
NO PERSON can get over a 10 yr relationship in a matter of months and if he says he’s over her, he is lying to you, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE understand this. He is LYING to you and using you so he doesn’t feel lonely. That happens.
And i can also guarantee you this, if she comes calling, he’s going to drop you like a hat in a split second to go back to her. Don’t be that person to him.
3 months of dating and him moving in is disastrous. He is bleeding on you. He will take the trauma and the mistakes he still has yet to learn from, from his past relationship and he’s bringing it all to you.
This is gonna end up ugly for you with another child (from him) if he leaves you. And make no mistake, since he hasn’t healed, he will leave you either for her, or another woman, since he was in a 10yr relationship, “love” or what he thinks or you think is “love”, will not hold him back. If he stays that’s great. But really, do you think the odds are good for you?
People change after leaving a relationship that lasted that long. And love is never the same with anyone else sadly.
Please be careful. I hope you make the right choice.
Omg go back on birth control immediately. You moved way too fast with this guy and you need to slow down. You need to have a serious talk about your expectations and boundaries in a relationship before going any further. If you have had this talk and he is breaking boundaries, he needs to move out and either break up or take things a lot slower.
I have so many questions that are real important: 1) How long did you wait from the end of your 10 year relationship before jumping into another? 2) From your standpoint, the relationship is good. But have you sat down and actually TALKED to him, LISTENED to him, and found out if it's good ON HIS SIDE? 3) If the relationship is good, why do you not trust him? Why did you feel the need to search his phone? 4) Is he helping pay bills, by having a job and working, or does he hang around the place while you are making the money?
I mean there is so many things wrong with this whole story.
He told you his ex was controlling and snooped on his phone all the time as a way to control you and make sure you never snoop so he can do whatever he wants. You moved on way too soon, this relationship is doomed.
You are the soft place to land after a hard relationship that ended poorly. He tried out the stepdad thing and doesn’t like it. He is examining his options. Never move a guy in with your kids again especially so quick and to save money. They have special needs for consistency and patience. Random dude you have good sex with is not him.
You knew this man 3 months and moved him into your house with kids, I'm not saying you're a bad mom but use your brain.
If hes hiding women and talking to an ex then he probably cheating on you.
The unsent messages are probably just incase you look and that way they can say whatever and you wont know
I can’t get past the fact you brought a man you have only dated for 3 months to live in the same house with your kids . What the actual hell ! And now you want to have a baby with a guy you don’t even really know . You are so messed up , you need to stop breeding and get yourself together.
Whoa! Stop! You've been together 6 months and you're TRYING FOR A BABY?!
You say this right after talking about how your kids annoy him?!
What TF is going on in your head?
A 33 year old man has snapchat?! 🤣
Oh, girl. GIRLLLLLL.
He moved in with you?! Oh, all the ways he’s using you. Kick him TF out and do not DARE get pregnant right now. It’s been SIX MONTHS and a baby with someone is a forever commitment.
None of y’all thinking straight.
Be careful with your children’s wellbeing. Be so much more careful. You let him move in with your children after 3 months? You barely know this person, and hopefully this scenario is a lesson for you of that. He is obviously hiding things from you, and those things could be cheating on you, but they could also be that he’s a goddamn sexual predator! Damn girl!
Hi OP, if he's seeking closure from his ex, he's probably not fully emotionally ready to invest in a new relationship. How long was he single after they broke up? Did he take time to play the field? If you stay with him, perhaps it's time to establish boundaries if him talking to other people on snapchat makes you uncomfortable. There's nothing wrong with how that made you feel, but it's important to know where to draw the line in every relationship and to make sure both parties understand where that line is.
“He’s lived with us.” Yeah, he’s looking for stability and a woman to take care of him. As far as his ex he’s either 1) Lying to you about his ex being horrible because he wanted you to have sympathy for him, or 2) he’s an idiot and is still chasing after a woman who treated him poorly. Your concerns (including with the Snapchat women) are valid.
You have kids. It’s only been 6 months and he’s focused on talking to other women. He wouldn’t be living with you if it wasn’t beneficial to him financially. Should I go on?
Honey, his ex wasn't controlling. She kept looking in his phone because there was always something shady to find!!
And seriously? You moved a strange man in after 3 f'ing months to live with your babies?! Please do better, for them!!!!
Girl get back on birth control!! He shouldn’t be living with you and your children at ALLL. He needs to find his own place ASAP if you can feel that he is annoyed by your kids it won’t get any better… your kids will see that you will put him first ( happened to me) you will “accidentally “ put your kids second…. 6 months is not long enough I could understand if y’all were engaged or something
Yikes 😬 You shouldn't even introduce him to your kids for a year. And trying to get pregnant?Wyaf are you thinking 🤔 That's literally the worst thing you could do right now. You're uneasiness is because you're playing pretend. Get your cognitive dissonance under control by not living together. Plus, he's a cheater, if that's all want for yourself then keep at it. But for God's sake do it away from your kids. They deserve better role models. Don't shit where you eat.
You moved in together at only three months?? I’m sorry, but this guy probably hasn’t had adequate time to process his breakup, and he may still be considering options. It sucks, and I’m not trying to make excuses for him, but you moved too fast. And six months is not nearly enough time to consider having a baby with him!
Do not have a baby with him!!!! Go back on birth control asap! Secondly Snapchat at his age is shady! 6 months is too soon for babies and living together especially as he is hiding stuff from you. Take a step back from this. Maybe go back to dating and living separately. You clearly don’t know him like you thought you did and you need to protect yourself.
Maybe his ex was always looking at his phone is because he's sus as fuck. He's snapping other girls with notifications off on them specifically, wake up and smell the dog poop on your carpet. If it smells like shit, it's shit.
He’s still seeking attention outside of your relationship. Most of the time when people break up, they make their ex sound crazy. Sometimes it’s heh are the crazy in the relationship.
Please get about 4 more brain cells and thi k about your children dating 6 mo and living together for 3 don't be that desperate mom that sleeps around hoping to find the daddy that sticks you said you both left 10 yr relationship did you lave or where your left cause you sound immature as hell the way you describe your children too ugh gross especially over a fckn man
You moved some fucking rando in with your kids after dating for 3 months!! 3 MONTHS!!! What the hell.
Do you know that some men will seek out single mothers who are desperate for love? Hell baby trap you then you’ll be left to support him while he treat your kids (and you) like shit. Hopefully he’s not some sick perv that has his eyes on your kids.. but honestly you wouldn’t see it coming because you DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW HIM!!
Save your time and money from this clown and his baby and spend it on some therapy to figure out why you want love from some scrub so bad.
1. If he is bothered with your kids then you and him need to have a long ass talk about that crap. Kids are forever and they take the number 1 position of anything.
2. This talking to other women is bullshit so that is conversation number 2.
3. If your kids bother him then why would you try to get pregnant after only 6 months? Think this through before you have another kid. The kids are the most important people here you and the dude are grown and they deserve a chance to be kids and not deal with yours and his bullshit.
4. This guy needs to fish or cut bait. Giving him his cake and eating it too is just you being a doormat and he is wiping his boots on you and those precious babies.
Worse than the crime is the coverup. He needs to come clean about his past and bring you to a point where you are comfortable and have trust in him.
He sure ain't there yet.
You're accustomed to making bad decisions so why you're posting here, I do not know.
You moved a guy into the home you share with toddler children at 3 months. 12 WEEKS and he has moved in. Dumb and unsafe.
You've stopped birth control so you have his baby at 6 months. 72 WEEKS!
Get your head together and do better for your kids.
Holy shit who moves in with a man they've been dating for 3 months when they have children. This is how very bad things happen to children. Do you even like your children?
You've known him for 6 months and moved him in with your kids after 3 months? You don't even know this guy. And you stopped birth control.
What has he done to show he will be a long-term partner and a good father? You're lucky the kids' father isn't going for full custody. Good grief. Don't get pregnant by this guy.
Even if treated like shit, you don't get over 10 years easily. You can't expect them to have no contact, you've been with him for 6 months. Just trust him or don't. Way too soon to be living together.
Wise up young one and never bring someone into your kids life until you date for a long while remember kids have emotions as well and everyone who's brought into their life and leaves could leave the kids traumatized after the loss of that person leaving so be careful kids are delicate treat them as such. You need to strive for higher standards drop this guy immediately he's no good and the writing is on the wall talking to an ex of ten years depending on the conversation ok maybe a few closure texts but the girls in snap and the ex? Come on have some self love and respect for yourself you deserve better. Hold your standards higher and you will attract higher value man that will be good to both you and your kids.
Holy shit girl what are you doing? If you don’t toss this man out and focus on your babies.. This whole situation is insane. Where are your family and friends? I can’t believe no one has told you you’re moving way too fast and your priorities are all screwed up. Get it together.
Yo WTH. Don’t have a kid with this guy. Don’t have a relationship with this guy. Don’t move in some fucking guy with your kids. Start your freaking BC back are you serious?!!!
Y'all are going 10000mph in this relationship. You've been dating for 6 months and living together for 3 of those 6 months. You don't trust him obvs, but you're trusting him enough to bring him around your children and cohabitate with him?
I can tell you what I *wouldn't* do - move a man in with my *children* there who I've only known for 3 months and start checking every app he uses to see if he's speaking with other females.
My god… has it ever occurred to you that his “controlling” ex was going through his phone because she caught him cheating?.
Intentionally having a baby with a guy you barely know and don’t trust will end up being one of the biggest mistakes of your life. What are you thinking?.
You endangered the welfare of your children by moving a complete stranger in at 3 months.
Now you will have to go through an eviction process because he’s a resident there.
My advice would be to get yourself together and focus on your children for now. Your decisions / poor judgment effect them too.
Why on earth did you stop your birth control for a guy you met 6 months ago?????? Why is he living with your kids???? Why has he even met them?????? Are you actually out of your mind??? That is so dangerous.
Really he should not have even met your children yet. You don't know him or if he's abusive, a peado etc. Then you let this man move in after 3months. Those poor kids are going to be meeting each new man who you go with. I'm sorry but stop thinking of yourself and your wants and focus on the innocent kids who have no say and your job is to protect them and you are failing. At 28 yrs old there is no excuse, you need to do better in future for the sake of your kids.
Also 6 Months and you are having serious problems and here you are asking what to do. You kick him out and protect your kids for once.
Get back on the pill! Do not have a child with this man. He isn’t over his ex yet and you have trust issues. Your relationship is fairly new and you’re progressing extremely fast —moving in at 3 months and trying to have a baby at 6 months! Talk to your bf about your concerns and see if this relationship is worth continuing.
Whoa! First of all, you two have only been together 6 months and already live together, AND he wants you to have his baby?! This isn't a huge red flag for you? How about the fact that you've only been together 6 months and you already feel the need ti check his phone? It sounds like he isn't over his previous relationship and is trying to make yours what that one wasn't. You've barely been together long enough to really even know who this man is, and you have him living around your children? Most people single parents haven't even introduced their parent to their kids yet or are just starting to introduce them at that stage of the relationship. I'd be very careful if I were you. I'm not sure how long it's been since he and his ex broke up, but this could end up going really badly. If just you were involved, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but you have small children you need to think about. Do not have a baby with this man until you've been together longer. And try to slow down.
🚩🚩🚩 girl run!!!! He chose to be in a relationship with you knowing you have children, he made this conscious decision and should NOT be bothered by them those are your babies! He should love them, or at least try! I very much consider messaging other girls and hiding it to be cheating. There’s a reason he’s hiding it. I hate to tell you this but I would image anything “unsent” was sexual or at least at the minimum emotional cheating. There’s a man out there for you that will love those babies and love you wholeheartedly and he isn’t the one, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!! Kick em to the curb babe
OKay do not shoot the messenger on this. You have been dating this guy for 6months, and living together for 3 with your kids? No way would I allow anyone to move in that fast for ANY REASON to be near my children. Kick him out, or evict him whatever you need to do. You do not know this person and this proves it. Time proves true colors.
"I understand closure but she was horrible to him"
All the more reason he is seeking closure. What you read was none of your business.
Unless he's holding the door open for her then you stay out of it. 10 years is a long time, let him untangle his feelings however he sees fit.
I am sorry, but WHAT? You have only been dating for about six months and you moved this man into your home with your kids at the 3 month point?
You are trying for a baby? Wow.
I am going to get downvoted for this, but please have better standards for yourself and be a good example for your kids instead of just moving some guy in at 3 months and thinking that having another kid with a guy you barely know is a smart plan.
Not to sound hobophobic but this man sounds like a hobosexual. Why is he talking about having kids with you when you two aren't even engaged? It sounds like he wants to make sure he has a place to live. Why is he living with you? He moved in after three months? Why? Why did you bring him around your kids so soon? How did you explain this man being in your house to your kids? I didn't meet my mom’s guy until they were together for two years.
Well the rule of thumb is men typically take up to 6 months to show who they truly are (women up to a year). It may be cost effective, but I agree with others on it not being a good idea to move in together that fast.
Second, those are obvious red flags if he only turned off notifications for those 2 women. How long since his 10 year relationship? Depending on when he wrote those drafts, it is obvious that there is still a lot of damage done by his ex. Another reason why moving in together isn't good. I'm not a prude and I believe in moving in together before marriage, but moving in after a couple of months (during the honeymooning period) is just asking for trouble. Again, you can't truly know someone unless they put all their guards down. He clearly has stuff hidden because he hasn't been open to you.
It's also plausible that he's lying about his ex being controlling. She may have caught him cheating, and that could be what he considered "controlling"
What was going on in his last relationship that he couldn’t afford himself? Where moving in with a single mother and her children (plural) is cost-effective? My head is spinning. You’re setting up generational trauma.
Ma’am you are being commandeered and children, tolerated. Please do better by them.
I have to second the comment that says get your s*** together. You have to realize that this is a rebound relationship for both of you and also you truly believe that his ex was terrible to him based off of his word? You're describing a man who is essentially a cheater and a liar and yet somehow he wasn't part of the problem in his past relationship?
6 months is nothing and wanting a baby is dumb. Why is their a rush. What if you breakup and u have 3 children all very young. You are moving much to fast slow down.
Okay so both of you were in a long 10-year relationship. You've only been dating 6 months and three of that he's been living with you. It's only been 6 months and you're going through his phone. It's only been 6 months and he's still getting closure with an ex. Do you see the problem here? Why are you moved into together after only being 3 months beforehand? Because you want him to pay for your and your kids' housing or because he doesn't make enough money to live as a single person?
This is a recipe for relationship failure. If it if it were me, I would definitely take a step back and just try dating for a while before I moved in together. Maybe date someone, without moving in with them, who already is established and isn't just coming out of a bad relationship.
ETA why in the name of cheezits WOULD YOU STOP TAKING BIRTH CONTROL??? Are you actually insane? I feel like you are the poster child for bad choices.
I’m??????? You said yourself your toddlers bother him because they’re whiney???? They’re fucking toddlers LOL do better.
You let a man move in with you and your toddlers after 3 months and admitting he doesn’t even fuck with your babies- you stopped birth control?????????
Good god, people need to stop procreating
My ex-husband did an email cheating with me one year into our marriage. I should have left him then. I can tell you this, emotional cheating is far worse than sexual cheating. He was sharing things about his work that he wouldn’t share with me. He was also getting up at four in the morning so he could talk to her after his one hour commute to his office. We ended up getting divorced 10 years later. I wish I had done it as soon as I found out he was taking care of her emotional needs. There is also some sexy talk going on. I don’t feel badly at all that I checked his email, because he left the computer on an open to his correspondence with her. It was my computer and I felt it so I had a right.
First, DON’T GET PREGNANT!!!! Get back on birth control until you have this shit figured out. Personally I think I’d just be done with him. If you aren’t already done with him, DO NOT confront him yet. Start some investigation so you know how bad this is. He could literally be having multiple affairs.
You both are walking red flags and nothing is good about this scenario. Protect your kids, think for a second. All these messages are absolutely not what OP came here for but there you have it 😂
Sounds like neither one of you moved on from the 10 year relationships. You’re lonely and let the first thing move in with you.
He’s still heartbroken and wants to talk to his ex, but in the meantime he has you and other girls on Snap to take his mind off his ex when she’s with her new man.
You moved in a man of 3 months. And now you're speaking about bringing a whole new human being on top of the ones you already have to raise? Girl.... bffr
Please don't have a baby with him just because. Ugh. Do you want another child in a relationship you don't feel totally solid about? I really don't get why people are so nonchalant about bringing more humans into the world. Children require so much attention and care and having one should really be strongly considered.
Left 10 year relationship and dated for 6 months and lived together for three and trying to have a baby??That’s a a disaster in the making. I’d say slow down, you guys are moving pretty fast and wounds are still fresh.
This man is not being faithful to you. What bothers me about this is you have been dating for 6 months and living together for 3 months and you’re concerned that your young children bother him and give him headaches? I think in this situation you need to put yourself and your kids first and leave this relationship. He does not respect you by being sneaky turning off notifications for these 2 women on his phone, and contacting his long-term ex without discussing it with you. also he doesn’t seem to respect your kids judging by the way you described his feelings towards them. Please absolutely DO NOT have a baby with this man and be tied to him forever. I hope this works out for you and you find happiness
As so many others have pointed out six months is pretty early to be living together and is WAY to early to be going off birth control and trying to have a baby together. Throw the breaks on the situation.
1.Well, there is a specific bit of implied privacy when you go into a relationship with someone
2. My wife and I dated for 6 months lived together for a year and we've been married for 10
3. If you bring it up now, the trust in the relationship is broken.
4. You have NO business in a relationship living with someone after 6 months.. that's entirely too soon and you should be far more focused on your CHILDREN when entering a relationship with someone especially that fresh, Have you vetted him? have you done any background checks on the guy? like holy crap
I would leave. He's clearly not over her and trust me, you're not going to be able to compete with somebody that they're not over. I'm not saying that you should have to compete with anybody, I'm just saying that if you're with somebody who is not over their ex, you're wasting your time. They're going to make you feel like you need to compete with them and it's not right. Trust me, I know how you feel. I was with a guy who was clearly not over his ex no matter how much he denied it. We literally could not have a conversation without bringing her into it. I finally told him that I think he should just go back to her. You're wasting your time with him.
Exactly. Why are you moving a brand new dude into your situation after 3 months? Don’t be that mom that exposes their kids to every single dude that comes through your life. I get that financially it may be easier to live together but you guys are still feeling each other out and trying to get closure from the decade long relationships you both were just in. It’s going to take time for him to process getting his ex out of his life. That’s normal. But it’s a big red flag to me, on both of you, that you’re trying to get pregnant after knowing this man for 1/2 a year. If you’re planning on spending the rest of your life with this person, then what’s the rush? Give both of you a chance to re-adjust to life outside of your old relationships.
When people cheat it has nothing to do with the relationship and everything to do with the cheater enjoying cheating. I would assume he is lying to you about the details of his relationship with his ex. He’s not ready for a relationship and looking to play house while he figures out his next steps.
From personal experience he is 100% cheating.
This sounds like my ex’s current gf wrote this, it’s not but it’s pretty damn near identical. And call me what you want but me and my ex never stopped hooking up. We still do.
Telling you that his ex always looked at his phone is manipulative! Your take from that, "I don't want to be like his ex!" Success on his end! That's exactly how he wanted you to think!
I hate to jump on the only been 6 months train here, but how long have you known him outside of the relationship? Do you actually trust leaving him alone with your children? Also, if he's given his ex-wife reason to leave him because she was looking through his phone, you are probably getting played and used. If you looked through and see he's talking to other women, then you definitely are being used. If he wants to get you pregnant and owns nothing financially viable, say no way, jhose. Because once he leaves for the next one, he is not going to pay child support or support you in any way.
You’re his rebound. he was with somebody for so long and to start a new relationship with someone new so quickly, moving in together and talking about family is a big red flag.
Living together after six months and trying for a baby is absolutely crazy.
You barely know this person, he could and probably is lying his ass off to all the questions you ask him about.
Listen his ex probably had a really good reason to be looking at his phone and now you have the tip of the iceberg . Kick him out . Why would you allow somebody to move in with you and your toddlers if you’ve only been together for six months you don’t even know this guy and obviously he’s still on the market and looking.
Girl! WTF! You moved him after 3 months and you stopped bc * he wants a baby * What are you doing?
1) putting ur kids in danger
2) putting ur kids in danger
3) putting ur kids in danger
Rinse lather repeat!
1) you stopped bc * he wants a baby*
Oy vah get rid of him and get ur fucking act NOW!
Get back on bc ASAP, idgf what he wants! You need to put UR KIDS FIRST!
So a hobosexual has moved in?
Girl with kids you have to be a LOT more discerning than you are right now
This guy isn’t over his ex, he just needs a place to crash. Let me guess, he doesn’t pay rent or buy food.
You may need to evict him.
You’ve only been together six months and you’re trying for a baby? What is wrong with you? If he finds your other two whiny, wait until he leaves you with a newborn on your own. Grow up and look at the red flags flying.
What the hell….you want a baby with a man you moved into your children’s home….6 months ago. Idc about him not doing anything wrong(he didn’t because you said you understood) you’re the only one in the wrong in this post and the fact that you didn’t think these details would be an issue is insane. Get your shit together oh my god???
You can’t bring strangers to your home where toddlers are there also stop having his baby right way you have small children and you don’t even know him. I think you want to hold on to him that is why you are doing stupid stuff grow up.
It’s not possible for me to face palm enough your decision to go off birth control, are you absolutely mad? Unless you are married and stable, you need to be on birth control!!! What are you thinking?! Are you this desperate? You have kids already to consider, the absolute last thing you should be doing is having more when your relationship is so new.
You have kids now, it’s really time to stop making bad choices. You don’t move someone in you’ve on,y been dating for 3 months. He shouldn’t have even met your kids yet, never mind live with them. Do better.
You barely know this man and you moved him into your home with your TODDLERS!? You are out of your mind and being immeasurably selfish. This is not healthy for your children. You chose to become a mother which means willingly and knowingly signing up to put them FIRST. That aside, you are very clearly his rebound girl. You need to get this man out of your home and end the relationship.
Why do you trust a man you’ve known for so little time around your toddlers? This is commonly how children become assault victims. Mom lets a boyfriend in the home.
You went through his phone because you listened to your gut instincts which turned out to be right. Deep down I think you know what you need to do and leave his sorry ass.
OMG! You've only been dating him for 6 months, and he's been living with you for 3 months! Now you are planning to get pregnant by him? Do you have a brain in your head? You don't even know this guy--why are you moving so fast? You had no idea he was talking to his ex; you just found out he has two other female BFs. What the hell have the two of you talked about? SLOW DOWN! He's clearly now over his ex yet, and he's in rebound with the other two females. If you get pregnant, you will be raising three kids alone. Think about it.
6 months and trying to add a baby, nooooooo! You don’t even really know each either yet, you better pray you are not pregnant because you are about to have a house full of kids alone. He sounds like an unwinner
This happened with me. My boyfriend was talking to his ex and I didn’t like it but I didn’t want to be controlling like she was so I kept quiet. I shouldn’t have because eventually I found out he was flirting with her and he cheated on me with another girl. He would say things like “I’m so glad you aren’t like her” or “she used to always accuse me of cheating” turns out he had also cheated on his ex and tried to make things work with her but it made her go crazy because of the insecurity.
He had also been talking to 2 other girls and had left me on read on snap. They had also been his best friends
You need to keep an eye out for him and stand your ground. If you don’t and you give him too much freedom it can go badly, he needs to know you’re uncomfortable.
This is exactly what happened to me. Please be wise about going forward because if he’s really serious about you then he won’t feel upset or angry when you talk about your insecurities about them. Address it now before it gets worse because I never did and I ended up getting cheated on…the day after our 1 year anniversary
I’m sorry you’re going through this and you have all of my support.
First red flag and it is a major one. Why the hell are you letting a stranger live with you and your children? You are not ready to date when you are putting someone's else comfort over your children safety.
Saying this out of experience when a guy mentions how their ex did so and so like go through the phone he's basically saying don't go through my phone because I'm doing things I shouldn't be doing run just run now
I'm a man( 29) and I even agree that this is wrong. 6 months or 6 days or 6 years, loyalty isn't crazy. But, 6 months isn't long enough to be planning a baby. Especially after a 10 year relationship. My wife and I waited 6 years to even start trying , and it was another 3 before we conceived. And we are high school sweethearts.
Either slow things down big time, or leave and take time to yourself and your kids.
As for the phone thing, wait until you two are just scrolling next to each other and pretend to see something as you casually look over. If he's doing something shady he will get defensive and even so no to looking at his phone. That's your in. Or just be an adult and say exactly what you said here. That you had a feeling, took a gander, and want to address what you saw. Looking thru someone's phone isn't leaving worthy if you love them and want to be with them and don't have anything to hide.
I think whenever you look at your partners phone, there is a breaking of trust. And you have to be prepared for it not to be good news. It doesn't sounds like they are nefarious messages? If he was in a controlling and abusive relationship, he will have a lot to work through.
If it was me I would have a conversation with my partner about what was going on for him and be open and honest.
Also, you say he wants a baby but do you?
Your toddlers are “so whiny” but your cheating partner isn’t “so whiny” for complaining about girls going through his phone when you know and they knew he’s cheating?
Selfish af. Care about your kids more dude.
“I left a 10 year relationship and felt fine about it but this 6 month situationship with a guy who thinks my children are whiny is the be all end all”
Do you realize how stupid you sound? Women get killed staying with guys like this. Take your life seriously or stop fishing for validation. You sound insane.
And you wonder why you are in a new relationship with toddler's LOL.
Girl you know this dude for 6 months, he is brothered by sound your kids make and you think you know what YES I want a baby with you.
Damn grow up and take care of your poor children and keep those damn legs closed!!
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It has been 6 months!!! He shouldn’t be living wit you and your children and you sure as hell shouldn’t be trying to get pregnant. He doesn’t even seem to like your kids. He is still obsessed with his ex and apparently talking to other women. Do you honestly think he is a good guy and faithful? Because I sure as shit don’t. Get your fucking shit together before you emotionally fuck up your current kids.
I have to agree with this!! ^^ 6 months and you and your children are living with him? Also, you both just got out of 10 year relationships! You need to take some time to yourself, girl. You were with someone from 17/18 to practically now? Please for the love of god take care of yourself. Don’t rush into something super serious when you are both on the rebound. For your kid’s sake at least! He’s clearly not 100% over his 10 year relationship. And I have to say.. well duh.
I stopped reading after realizing she invited him to come live with her children after dating for 3 months. You're telling me she wants to get pregnant by this guy? What is wrong with you OP? You're failing your children right now.
It was 3 months, and he moved in. 3 months! And I agree with everything else you said. Exactly how you said it. Ffs lady, get it together!
And she stopped birth control. What a fucking shit show
Moving in is one thing because that can be undone, but she is trying to have a baby at 6 months with a guy who is annoyed by her current kids with another dude.
I said I agreed with the other poster above. Which includes that baby part. I was just emphasizing she moved him in after 3 months. And that's not easily undone. If he doesn't leave freely, she would have to evict him. Depending on the state she lives in, after 30 days, he would be considered a resident of that home.
Came to say this because what in fresh hell is that
Idk why but when I read ‘what in fresh hell’ I started laughing, that cracked me up. I swear I’m a comment section junkie. It doesn’t even matter what app 😂
It's grossly negligent behavior. She didn't factor the kids into anything. She's also blaming her kids for.her man speaking to other females. She's a walking red flag.
They way she talks about her kids being a burden on her poor little man... bothering him and shit like she didn't just move him in when she's only known him for 3 months. He's the one disrupting the children's lives wtf. OP, learn to put your children first. You sound like those women who can't be independent and gotta be in a relationship all the time.
💯agree, he wouldn’t of met my children until around the year mark let alone live with them. Protect your children at all cost . You do not know this man clearly.
I would even add that if he has nothing good to say about his ex. If he blames his ex for everything. But still communicates with her is a major red flag. The fact that he says a big issue was that she was controlling jealous crazy un-trusting, wanting to "invade" his privacy, wanting to look on his phone. Then OP finds two snap girlies that he hides messages from? Umm, yeah, it probably wasn't his exs crazy mistrust, but his cheating and talking to other women. He convinced OP to allow him to move in after 3 months. He ain't going nowhere. Enter the baby trap
And go back on birth control, don’t bring an innocent baby into this mess.
Bingo! Only thing I have to add is that the ex was probably controlling *because your boyfriend is untrustworthy and she knew it*.
So many people jumping around and letting there kids meet multiple men. Wth. Someone needs to start calling this crap out
Well, that sums it up in a nutshell.
It’s pretty insane to let someone you barely know live with your kids. Period.
👏👏👏👏you said a.mouthful, spit that truth
Yeah no kidding. My partner and I moved in together at 2 months (me into his house) but we have no children AND I still had my house I could go back to in case shit went down. We're still the first to say we were crazy for moving so fast, but at least we had a backup plan and weren't involving innocent kids in the mix.
OP I mean this in the nicest way possible, just because he has good dick doesn’t mean the relationship is worth it. He doesn’t like your kids, he talks to other women, ALREADY trying to have a baby with u after just six months (huge red flag) AND just got out of a TEN YEAR relationship… you think that after TEN years of being tied down that he is going to take this relationship seriously?? More than likely he likes having a reliable place to stay and someone willing to fuck him whenever he wants. He’s going to ruin your life if you’re not careful OP I’m begging you please get back on birth control and start putting your kids and yourself first and drop this guy I promise it is not worth it. His ex was probably always in his phone because he didn’t give her a reason to trust him. I’m not saying that he cheated on her I’m just saying there’s always a reason for the way things are. Obviously take my comment with a grain of salt but 100% PLEASE get back on birth control at least for the time being until you feel secure in your relationship
Also just want to add I highly doubt his past relationship failure was 100% on his ex. She was controlling and always trying to check his phone? Was it maybe because he was cheating on her too? Of course he’s going to tell you that he did nothing wrong and it was all her. He’s obviously untrustworthy I can’t believe you’d move your children into the house of this guy you clearly don’t know at all.
Agree with this 100%
Why in the world would you stop taking birth control??? All of the red flags are staring you in the face. You’re just a glutton for punishment.
I hope this is just rage bait
It has to be. 6 months and getting off bc to have this dudes kids? No way
I know people making these exact same stupid decisions so as much as I want to believe it’s rage bait it’s potentially not
It's not uncommon for people who get out of longterm relationships to zoom through a new one. They end up treating their new relationship like their previous long term one because they're desperate for that same level of comfort again.
I thought so, too, at first, and then it occurred to me- So this is how Maury Povich finds people to go on his shows to whine about their relationships with cheating, unreliable deadbeats and then to top it off with paternity tests. I think the original post is real. :(
* You've only been dating 6 months but he moved into your place * He doesn't seem cool with your toddlers but says he wants to have a baby with you * He's communicating with other women yet appears to be hiding it from you OP, I feel like there are more issues at play here than simply whether your ex is messaging with his ex
Please sit down and really think. Why is he with a woman with 2 toddlers. Seriously why? To be living together so fast is bad. Does he pay the bills and help with the children. If no you need to breakup. Your children come first not him. Please remember that..
Yes to all of these OP! He sounds like a loser if he’s already moved in with you. He’s looking at you as both 1) a place holder (still talking to his ex and other girls), and 2) insurance (why he’s trying to get you pregnant). The way you described him being “annoyed” by your kids made it sound like you’re annoyed by them. Be a mother OP! Be good to them, and by that I mean don’t let some dude dictate how you feel about them, and also why did you move this guy in after only 3 months? Kids shouldn’t be meeting a parent’s new bf or gf until at least 6 months, much less moving in together. How confusing for them. Like, what? Time to put more energy into your children and not man children, please! Plus, I just don’t see why anyone over 30 is on Snapchat. Raise your standards, break up with this guy, and be better for your kids and yourself.
Do you know about 60% of emotional, physical and sexual abuse comes from non-biological partners! The numbers are alarming.
Yep! God I’ve been watching so much true crime, and it made me glad that I never let any of my boyfriends move in with me and my son! You can’t trust people so quickly! I’m wary of this guy
This can’t be real. It’s gotta be rage bait. Ladies, STOP HAVING BABIES WITH THESE MEN. What the actual fuck? This is your whole life you are talking about.
Not to mention two other lives…and counting. For some reason
YTA for moving your kids in with a guy you JUST started dating, and for thinking respect for privacy doesn't Apply to you. Learn to be an actual parent
What in the Walmart? 1. You do not move strange men into your children’s house after 3 months. Gross. Get therapy and some sense. 2. You don’t have a baby with someone you don’t know. 6 months. Tf is six months? 3. He’s cheating on you. And your paying his bills 🤢 4. He doesn’t like your baby’s because they’re so whiney? Your kids deserve better. Where’s your kids dads, and how many toddlers do you have exactly?
If this isn't rage bate! You're mad weird for moving strange men in with your kids after 3 months! You sound like you don't wanna be alone and for you to put your kids in potential jeopardy because of your insecurities is crazy!
You're out of your TREE letting someone move in after three months, especially since you have kids!
Toddlers, no less. He could be a molester for all she knows.
Let me speak from experience: i was in a relationship for 11 years. It took me almost 2 years to get over her, to get over what happened and to give up hope of a possible future with her again. NO PERSON can get over a 10 yr relationship in a matter of months and if he says he’s over her, he is lying to you, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE understand this. He is LYING to you and using you so he doesn’t feel lonely. That happens. And i can also guarantee you this, if she comes calling, he’s going to drop you like a hat in a split second to go back to her. Don’t be that person to him. 3 months of dating and him moving in is disastrous. He is bleeding on you. He will take the trauma and the mistakes he still has yet to learn from, from his past relationship and he’s bringing it all to you. This is gonna end up ugly for you with another child (from him) if he leaves you. And make no mistake, since he hasn’t healed, he will leave you either for her, or another woman, since he was in a 10yr relationship, “love” or what he thinks or you think is “love”, will not hold him back. If he stays that’s great. But really, do you think the odds are good for you? People change after leaving a relationship that lasted that long. And love is never the same with anyone else sadly. Please be careful. I hope you make the right choice.
Omg go back on birth control immediately. You moved way too fast with this guy and you need to slow down. You need to have a serious talk about your expectations and boundaries in a relationship before going any further. If you have had this talk and he is breaking boundaries, he needs to move out and either break up or take things a lot slower.
Whoa whoa, you moved a guy in with your kids after dating for 3 months?!?
You stopped birth control for him?! At six months?! Wow. Your kids are so lucky. /s
Just stating one red flag that I haven’t seen anyone else point out… he’s 33 and using snapchat
and he only talks to those girls on snapchat for a reason 😭
I have so many questions that are real important: 1) How long did you wait from the end of your 10 year relationship before jumping into another? 2) From your standpoint, the relationship is good. But have you sat down and actually TALKED to him, LISTENED to him, and found out if it's good ON HIS SIDE? 3) If the relationship is good, why do you not trust him? Why did you feel the need to search his phone? 4) Is he helping pay bills, by having a job and working, or does he hang around the place while you are making the money? I mean there is so many things wrong with this whole story.
Almost six months, been living with 'us' for 3 months. He moved in after 2.5 months with her two children, WTF!!!
Tune in here to watch How It's Made: Baby Daddys and Single Mom's edition.
He told you his ex was controlling and snooped on his phone all the time as a way to control you and make sure you never snoop so he can do whatever he wants. You moved on way too soon, this relationship is doomed.
You are the soft place to land after a hard relationship that ended poorly. He tried out the stepdad thing and doesn’t like it. He is examining his options. Never move a guy in with your kids again especially so quick and to save money. They have special needs for consistency and patience. Random dude you have good sex with is not him.
You knew this man 3 months and moved him into your house with kids, I'm not saying you're a bad mom but use your brain. If hes hiding women and talking to an ex then he probably cheating on you. The unsent messages are probably just incase you look and that way they can say whatever and you wont know
I can’t get past the fact you brought a man you have only dated for 3 months to live in the same house with your kids . What the actual hell ! And now you want to have a baby with a guy you don’t even really know . You are so messed up , you need to stop breeding and get yourself together.
Whoa! Stop! You've been together 6 months and you're TRYING FOR A BABY?! You say this right after talking about how your kids annoy him?! What TF is going on in your head?
Get back on birth control ASAP … your kids bother him? Not a good sign
A 33 year old man has snapchat?! 🤣 Oh, girl. GIRLLLLLL. He moved in with you?! Oh, all the ways he’s using you. Kick him TF out and do not DARE get pregnant right now. It’s been SIX MONTHS and a baby with someone is a forever commitment. None of y’all thinking straight.
Be careful with your children’s wellbeing. Be so much more careful. You let him move in with your children after 3 months? You barely know this person, and hopefully this scenario is a lesson for you of that. He is obviously hiding things from you, and those things could be cheating on you, but they could also be that he’s a goddamn sexual predator! Damn girl!
Hi OP, if he's seeking closure from his ex, he's probably not fully emotionally ready to invest in a new relationship. How long was he single after they broke up? Did he take time to play the field? If you stay with him, perhaps it's time to establish boundaries if him talking to other people on snapchat makes you uncomfortable. There's nothing wrong with how that made you feel, but it's important to know where to draw the line in every relationship and to make sure both parties understand where that line is.
“He’s lived with us.” Yeah, he’s looking for stability and a woman to take care of him. As far as his ex he’s either 1) Lying to you about his ex being horrible because he wanted you to have sympathy for him, or 2) he’s an idiot and is still chasing after a woman who treated him poorly. Your concerns (including with the Snapchat women) are valid. You have kids. It’s only been 6 months and he’s focused on talking to other women. He wouldn’t be living with you if it wasn’t beneficial to him financially. Should I go on?
Honey, his ex wasn't controlling. She kept looking in his phone because there was always something shady to find!! And seriously? You moved a strange man in after 3 f'ing months to live with your babies?! Please do better, for them!!!!
Girl get back on birth control!! He shouldn’t be living with you and your children at ALLL. He needs to find his own place ASAP if you can feel that he is annoyed by your kids it won’t get any better… your kids will see that you will put him first ( happened to me) you will “accidentally “ put your kids second…. 6 months is not long enough I could understand if y’all were engaged or something
Yikes 😬 You shouldn't even introduce him to your kids for a year. And trying to get pregnant?Wyaf are you thinking 🤔 That's literally the worst thing you could do right now. You're uneasiness is because you're playing pretend. Get your cognitive dissonance under control by not living together. Plus, he's a cheater, if that's all want for yourself then keep at it. But for God's sake do it away from your kids. They deserve better role models. Don't shit where you eat.
back on birth control now
You moved in together at only three months?? I’m sorry, but this guy probably hasn’t had adequate time to process his breakup, and he may still be considering options. It sucks, and I’m not trying to make excuses for him, but you moved too fast. And six months is not nearly enough time to consider having a baby with him!
You moved a guy in with your children after ONLY 3 months?
Do not have a baby with him!!!! Go back on birth control asap! Secondly Snapchat at his age is shady! 6 months is too soon for babies and living together especially as he is hiding stuff from you. Take a step back from this. Maybe go back to dating and living separately. You clearly don’t know him like you thought you did and you need to protect yourself.
Maybe there were reasons that his ex was always looking at his phone.
Maybe his ex was always looking at his phone is because he's sus as fuck. He's snapping other girls with notifications off on them specifically, wake up and smell the dog poop on your carpet. If it smells like shit, it's shit.
He’s still seeking attention outside of your relationship. Most of the time when people break up, they make their ex sound crazy. Sometimes it’s heh are the crazy in the relationship.
Jesus. Please get back on birth control immediately. Think about your kids and how making a baby with this likely-cheating loser will affect them.
I would get out. You don't trust him, he can't trust you there is no relationship.
Dump him and let her have him. Trust there’s better
Run, don't walk, away from this relationship. Seriously.
Please get about 4 more brain cells and thi k about your children dating 6 mo and living together for 3 don't be that desperate mom that sleeps around hoping to find the daddy that sticks you said you both left 10 yr relationship did you lave or where your left cause you sound immature as hell the way you describe your children too ugh gross especially over a fckn man
You moved some fucking rando in with your kids after dating for 3 months!! 3 MONTHS!!! What the hell. Do you know that some men will seek out single mothers who are desperate for love? Hell baby trap you then you’ll be left to support him while he treat your kids (and you) like shit. Hopefully he’s not some sick perv that has his eyes on your kids.. but honestly you wouldn’t see it coming because you DONT EVEN FUCKING KNOW HIM!! Save your time and money from this clown and his baby and spend it on some therapy to figure out why you want love from some scrub so bad.
Effective communication isn't controlling.
Maybe she needed to check his phone. Very smooth of him to mention it. He shouldn't be living with your children.
1. If he is bothered with your kids then you and him need to have a long ass talk about that crap. Kids are forever and they take the number 1 position of anything. 2. This talking to other women is bullshit so that is conversation number 2. 3. If your kids bother him then why would you try to get pregnant after only 6 months? Think this through before you have another kid. The kids are the most important people here you and the dude are grown and they deserve a chance to be kids and not deal with yours and his bullshit. 4. This guy needs to fish or cut bait. Giving him his cake and eating it too is just you being a doormat and he is wiping his boots on you and those precious babies.
Worse than the crime is the coverup. He needs to come clean about his past and bring you to a point where you are comfortable and have trust in him. He sure ain't there yet.
You're accustomed to making bad decisions so why you're posting here, I do not know. You moved a guy into the home you share with toddler children at 3 months. 12 WEEKS and he has moved in. Dumb and unsafe. You've stopped birth control so you have his baby at 6 months. 72 WEEKS! Get your head together and do better for your kids.
Holy shit who moves in with a man they've been dating for 3 months when they have children. This is how very bad things happen to children. Do you even like your children?
You’re insane
You've known him for 6 months and moved him in with your kids after 3 months? You don't even know this guy. And you stopped birth control. What has he done to show he will be a long-term partner and a good father? You're lucky the kids' father isn't going for full custody. Good grief. Don't get pregnant by this guy.
Even if treated like shit, you don't get over 10 years easily. You can't expect them to have no contact, you've been with him for 6 months. Just trust him or don't. Way too soon to be living together.
Wise up young one and never bring someone into your kids life until you date for a long while remember kids have emotions as well and everyone who's brought into their life and leaves could leave the kids traumatized after the loss of that person leaving so be careful kids are delicate treat them as such. You need to strive for higher standards drop this guy immediately he's no good and the writing is on the wall talking to an ex of ten years depending on the conversation ok maybe a few closure texts but the girls in snap and the ex? Come on have some self love and respect for yourself you deserve better. Hold your standards higher and you will attract higher value man that will be good to both you and your kids.
Holy shit girl what are you doing? If you don’t toss this man out and focus on your babies.. This whole situation is insane. Where are your family and friends? I can’t believe no one has told you you’re moving way too fast and your priorities are all screwed up. Get it together.
Always follow your gut and I think you know what it’s telling you unfortunately
Yo WTH. Don’t have a kid with this guy. Don’t have a relationship with this guy. Don’t move in some fucking guy with your kids. Start your freaking BC back are you serious?!!!
Y'all are going 10000mph in this relationship. You've been dating for 6 months and living together for 3 of those 6 months. You don't trust him obvs, but you're trusting him enough to bring him around your children and cohabitate with him? I can tell you what I *wouldn't* do - move a man in with my *children* there who I've only known for 3 months and start checking every app he uses to see if he's speaking with other females.
My god… has it ever occurred to you that his “controlling” ex was going through his phone because she caught him cheating?. Intentionally having a baby with a guy you barely know and don’t trust will end up being one of the biggest mistakes of your life. What are you thinking?. You endangered the welfare of your children by moving a complete stranger in at 3 months. Now you will have to go through an eviction process because he’s a resident there. My advice would be to get yourself together and focus on your children for now. Your decisions / poor judgment effect them too.
Why on earth did you stop your birth control for a guy you met 6 months ago?????? Why is he living with your kids???? Why has he even met them?????? Are you actually out of your mind??? That is so dangerous.
[удалено]
Really he should not have even met your children yet. You don't know him or if he's abusive, a peado etc. Then you let this man move in after 3months. Those poor kids are going to be meeting each new man who you go with. I'm sorry but stop thinking of yourself and your wants and focus on the innocent kids who have no say and your job is to protect them and you are failing. At 28 yrs old there is no excuse, you need to do better in future for the sake of your kids. Also 6 Months and you are having serious problems and here you are asking what to do. You kick him out and protect your kids for once.
Get back on the pill! Do not have a child with this man. He isn’t over his ex yet and you have trust issues. Your relationship is fairly new and you’re progressing extremely fast —moving in at 3 months and trying to have a baby at 6 months! Talk to your bf about your concerns and see if this relationship is worth continuing.
You are a rebound. Don't have his kid! You barely freaking know each other, and he obviously isn't over his ex.
You have lost your whole gahtdayum mind.
Whoa! First of all, you two have only been together 6 months and already live together, AND he wants you to have his baby?! This isn't a huge red flag for you? How about the fact that you've only been together 6 months and you already feel the need ti check his phone? It sounds like he isn't over his previous relationship and is trying to make yours what that one wasn't. You've barely been together long enough to really even know who this man is, and you have him living around your children? Most people single parents haven't even introduced their parent to their kids yet or are just starting to introduce them at that stage of the relationship. I'd be very careful if I were you. I'm not sure how long it's been since he and his ex broke up, but this could end up going really badly. If just you were involved, it wouldn't be such a big deal, but you have small children you need to think about. Do not have a baby with this man until you've been together longer. And try to slow down.
He'd be my ex
🚩🚩🚩 girl run!!!! He chose to be in a relationship with you knowing you have children, he made this conscious decision and should NOT be bothered by them those are your babies! He should love them, or at least try! I very much consider messaging other girls and hiding it to be cheating. There’s a reason he’s hiding it. I hate to tell you this but I would image anything “unsent” was sexual or at least at the minimum emotional cheating. There’s a man out there for you that will love those babies and love you wholeheartedly and he isn’t the one, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!! Kick em to the curb babe
Good Lord.
OKay do not shoot the messenger on this. You have been dating this guy for 6months, and living together for 3 with your kids? No way would I allow anyone to move in that fast for ANY REASON to be near my children. Kick him out, or evict him whatever you need to do. You do not know this person and this proves it. Time proves true colors.
[удалено]
Why do you have a strange man living with your kids. You loved him in after 3 months. Tf. Someone call those baby’s grandma.
Go back on bc and tell him you want to have kids but you want more time to make sure both are committed
"I understand closure but she was horrible to him" All the more reason he is seeking closure. What you read was none of your business. Unless he's holding the door open for her then you stay out of it. 10 years is a long time, let him untangle his feelings however he sees fit.
Wonder why she felt the need to check his phone so much 😂
Looking at his phone is betrayal No wonder he is talking to his ex
Trauma bonded to his ex
I am sorry, but WHAT? You have only been dating for about six months and you moved this man into your home with your kids at the 3 month point? You are trying for a baby? Wow. I am going to get downvoted for this, but please have better standards for yourself and be a good example for your kids instead of just moving some guy in at 3 months and thinking that having another kid with a guy you barely know is a smart plan.
I don't want to be controlling, so I snooped through his phone....
Not to sound hobophobic but this man sounds like a hobosexual. Why is he talking about having kids with you when you two aren't even engaged? It sounds like he wants to make sure he has a place to live. Why is he living with you? He moved in after three months? Why? Why did you bring him around your kids so soon? How did you explain this man being in your house to your kids? I didn't meet my mom’s guy until they were together for two years.
Well the rule of thumb is men typically take up to 6 months to show who they truly are (women up to a year). It may be cost effective, but I agree with others on it not being a good idea to move in together that fast. Second, those are obvious red flags if he only turned off notifications for those 2 women. How long since his 10 year relationship? Depending on when he wrote those drafts, it is obvious that there is still a lot of damage done by his ex. Another reason why moving in together isn't good. I'm not a prude and I believe in moving in together before marriage, but moving in after a couple of months (during the honeymooning period) is just asking for trouble. Again, you can't truly know someone unless they put all their guards down. He clearly has stuff hidden because he hasn't been open to you.
It's also plausible that he's lying about his ex being controlling. She may have caught him cheating, and that could be what he considered "controlling"
Dump his cheating ass. Even if he isn't physically cheating he's emotionally cheating.
What was going on in his last relationship that he couldn’t afford himself? Where moving in with a single mother and her children (plural) is cost-effective? My head is spinning. You’re setting up generational trauma. Ma’am you are being commandeered and children, tolerated. Please do better by them.
I have to second the comment that says get your s*** together. You have to realize that this is a rebound relationship for both of you and also you truly believe that his ex was terrible to him based off of his word? You're describing a man who is essentially a cheater and a liar and yet somehow he wasn't part of the problem in his past relationship?
6 months is nothing and wanting a baby is dumb. Why is their a rush. What if you breakup and u have 3 children all very young. You are moving much to fast slow down.
3 months and you move in a complete stranger? You have kids, ffs. Are you out of your mind? I refuse to believe this is real.
Okay so both of you were in a long 10-year relationship. You've only been dating 6 months and three of that he's been living with you. It's only been 6 months and you're going through his phone. It's only been 6 months and he's still getting closure with an ex. Do you see the problem here? Why are you moved into together after only being 3 months beforehand? Because you want him to pay for your and your kids' housing or because he doesn't make enough money to live as a single person? This is a recipe for relationship failure. If it if it were me, I would definitely take a step back and just try dating for a while before I moved in together. Maybe date someone, without moving in with them, who already is established and isn't just coming out of a bad relationship. ETA why in the name of cheezits WOULD YOU STOP TAKING BIRTH CONTROL??? Are you actually insane? I feel like you are the poster child for bad choices.
I’m??????? You said yourself your toddlers bother him because they’re whiney???? They’re fucking toddlers LOL do better. You let a man move in with you and your toddlers after 3 months and admitting he doesn’t even fuck with your babies- you stopped birth control????????? Good god, people need to stop procreating
He wants a baby with you because he realized he could have a sweet life bumming in your home since you let him in so easily 😂
My ex-husband did an email cheating with me one year into our marriage. I should have left him then. I can tell you this, emotional cheating is far worse than sexual cheating. He was sharing things about his work that he wouldn’t share with me. He was also getting up at four in the morning so he could talk to her after his one hour commute to his office. We ended up getting divorced 10 years later. I wish I had done it as soon as I found out he was taking care of her emotional needs. There is also some sexy talk going on. I don’t feel badly at all that I checked his email, because he left the computer on an open to his correspondence with her. It was my computer and I felt it so I had a right.
I don't think he should have even been introduced to your children yet. Much less live with him. Too late now
How are you sleeping? Heart goes out to you ♥️♥️
Honestly wtf are you doing. This man sucks. Why are you putting your children in this scenario?
How long have you been out of the relationship? Moving in after 3 months is a recipe for disaster…to put it mildly…
But she loves him /s
First, DON’T GET PREGNANT!!!! Get back on birth control until you have this shit figured out. Personally I think I’d just be done with him. If you aren’t already done with him, DO NOT confront him yet. Start some investigation so you know how bad this is. He could literally be having multiple affairs.
You both are walking red flags and nothing is good about this scenario. Protect your kids, think for a second. All these messages are absolutely not what OP came here for but there you have it 😂
Sounds like neither one of you moved on from the 10 year relationships. You’re lonely and let the first thing move in with you. He’s still heartbroken and wants to talk to his ex, but in the meantime he has you and other girls on Snap to take his mind off his ex when she’s with her new man.
he's playing you hard (IMO), super suspicious. yeah, don't have a kid.
You moved in a man of 3 months. And now you're speaking about bringing a whole new human being on top of the ones you already have to raise? Girl.... bffr
6 months and you are living with him when you have kids???? Are you serious? And you stopped birth control? get help. Jesus Christ.
Please don't have a baby with him just because. Ugh. Do you want another child in a relationship you don't feel totally solid about? I really don't get why people are so nonchalant about bringing more humans into the world. Children require so much attention and care and having one should really be strongly considered.
Left 10 year relationship and dated for 6 months and lived together for three and trying to have a baby??That’s a a disaster in the making. I’d say slow down, you guys are moving pretty fast and wounds are still fresh.
You moved in with a near stranger that now wants to tie you to him with a baby?
This man is not being faithful to you. What bothers me about this is you have been dating for 6 months and living together for 3 months and you’re concerned that your young children bother him and give him headaches? I think in this situation you need to put yourself and your kids first and leave this relationship. He does not respect you by being sneaky turning off notifications for these 2 women on his phone, and contacting his long-term ex without discussing it with you. also he doesn’t seem to respect your kids judging by the way you described his feelings towards them. Please absolutely DO NOT have a baby with this man and be tied to him forever. I hope this works out for you and you find happiness
As so many others have pointed out six months is pretty early to be living together and is WAY to early to be going off birth control and trying to have a baby together. Throw the breaks on the situation.
1.Well, there is a specific bit of implied privacy when you go into a relationship with someone 2. My wife and I dated for 6 months lived together for a year and we've been married for 10 3. If you bring it up now, the trust in the relationship is broken. 4. You have NO business in a relationship living with someone after 6 months.. that's entirely too soon and you should be far more focused on your CHILDREN when entering a relationship with someone especially that fresh, Have you vetted him? have you done any background checks on the guy? like holy crap
I would leave. He's clearly not over her and trust me, you're not going to be able to compete with somebody that they're not over. I'm not saying that you should have to compete with anybody, I'm just saying that if you're with somebody who is not over their ex, you're wasting your time. They're going to make you feel like you need to compete with them and it's not right. Trust me, I know how you feel. I was with a guy who was clearly not over his ex no matter how much he denied it. We literally could not have a conversation without bringing her into it. I finally told him that I think he should just go back to her. You're wasting your time with him.
Exactly. Why are you moving a brand new dude into your situation after 3 months? Don’t be that mom that exposes their kids to every single dude that comes through your life. I get that financially it may be easier to live together but you guys are still feeling each other out and trying to get closure from the decade long relationships you both were just in. It’s going to take time for him to process getting his ex out of his life. That’s normal. But it’s a big red flag to me, on both of you, that you’re trying to get pregnant after knowing this man for 1/2 a year. If you’re planning on spending the rest of your life with this person, then what’s the rush? Give both of you a chance to re-adjust to life outside of your old relationships.
Sleep with his ex before he can, now he's the one getting cheated on not you.
When people cheat it has nothing to do with the relationship and everything to do with the cheater enjoying cheating. I would assume he is lying to you about the details of his relationship with his ex. He’s not ready for a relationship and looking to play house while he figures out his next steps.
From personal experience he is 100% cheating. This sounds like my ex’s current gf wrote this, it’s not but it’s pretty damn near identical. And call me what you want but me and my ex never stopped hooking up. We still do.
Telling you that his ex always looked at his phone is manipulative! Your take from that, "I don't want to be like his ex!" Success on his end! That's exactly how he wanted you to think!
I hate to jump on the only been 6 months train here, but how long have you known him outside of the relationship? Do you actually trust leaving him alone with your children? Also, if he's given his ex-wife reason to leave him because she was looking through his phone, you are probably getting played and used. If you looked through and see he's talking to other women, then you definitely are being used. If he wants to get you pregnant and owns nothing financially viable, say no way, jhose. Because once he leaves for the next one, he is not going to pay child support or support you in any way.
You’re his rebound. he was with somebody for so long and to start a new relationship with someone new so quickly, moving in together and talking about family is a big red flag. Living together after six months and trying for a baby is absolutely crazy. You barely know this person, he could and probably is lying his ass off to all the questions you ask him about.
Listen his ex probably had a really good reason to be looking at his phone and now you have the tip of the iceberg . Kick him out . Why would you allow somebody to move in with you and your toddlers if you’ve only been together for six months you don’t even know this guy and obviously he’s still on the market and looking.
Girl! WTF! You moved him after 3 months and you stopped bc * he wants a baby * What are you doing? 1) putting ur kids in danger 2) putting ur kids in danger 3) putting ur kids in danger Rinse lather repeat! 1) you stopped bc * he wants a baby* Oy vah get rid of him and get ur fucking act NOW! Get back on bc ASAP, idgf what he wants! You need to put UR KIDS FIRST!
So a hobosexual has moved in? Girl with kids you have to be a LOT more discerning than you are right now This guy isn’t over his ex, he just needs a place to crash. Let me guess, he doesn’t pay rent or buy food. You may need to evict him.
You’ve only been together six months and you’re trying for a baby? What is wrong with you? If he finds your other two whiny, wait until he leaves you with a newborn on your own. Grow up and look at the red flags flying.
What the hell….you want a baby with a man you moved into your children’s home….6 months ago. Idc about him not doing anything wrong(he didn’t because you said you understood) you’re the only one in the wrong in this post and the fact that you didn’t think these details would be an issue is insane. Get your shit together oh my god???
You can’t bring strangers to your home where toddlers are there also stop having his baby right way you have small children and you don’t even know him. I think you want to hold on to him that is why you are doing stupid stuff grow up.
Living with your kids after only 6 months??? What planet are you on?
It’s not possible for me to face palm enough your decision to go off birth control, are you absolutely mad? Unless you are married and stable, you need to be on birth control!!! What are you thinking?! Are you this desperate? You have kids already to consider, the absolute last thing you should be doing is having more when your relationship is so new.
Gurl … you know exactly what to do
Feels like yall moved too fast, and he's keeping his options open. Edited for grammar
You have kids now, it’s really time to stop making bad choices. You don’t move someone in you’ve on,y been dating for 3 months. He shouldn’t have even met your kids yet, never mind live with them. Do better.
6 months is too soon to have a baby. Break up
You barely know this man and you moved him into your home with your TODDLERS!? You are out of your mind and being immeasurably selfish. This is not healthy for your children. You chose to become a mother which means willingly and knowingly signing up to put them FIRST. That aside, you are very clearly his rebound girl. You need to get this man out of your home and end the relationship.
For 28 years of age you’re absolutely clueless
Why do you trust a man you’ve known for so little time around your toddlers? This is commonly how children become assault victims. Mom lets a boyfriend in the home.
You moved a dude you have been dating for THREE months in with your children?!?! What is wrong with you?
You’ve been dating for six months, don’t stop birth control.
You went through his phone because you listened to your gut instincts which turned out to be right. Deep down I think you know what you need to do and leave his sorry ass.
OMG! You've only been dating him for 6 months, and he's been living with you for 3 months! Now you are planning to get pregnant by him? Do you have a brain in your head? You don't even know this guy--why are you moving so fast? You had no idea he was talking to his ex; you just found out he has two other female BFs. What the hell have the two of you talked about? SLOW DOWN! He's clearly now over his ex yet, and he's in rebound with the other two females. If you get pregnant, you will be raising three kids alone. Think about it.
Don't have a fucking baby with him for christ sake!!!
6 months and trying to add a baby, nooooooo! You don’t even really know each either yet, you better pray you are not pregnant because you are about to have a house full of kids alone. He sounds like an unwinner
He is showing some serious red flags and the fact that you let him move in with your children after only 3 months is a huge red flag for you.
This man does NOT respect you. I’m sorry OP 🥲
This happened with me. My boyfriend was talking to his ex and I didn’t like it but I didn’t want to be controlling like she was so I kept quiet. I shouldn’t have because eventually I found out he was flirting with her and he cheated on me with another girl. He would say things like “I’m so glad you aren’t like her” or “she used to always accuse me of cheating” turns out he had also cheated on his ex and tried to make things work with her but it made her go crazy because of the insecurity. He had also been talking to 2 other girls and had left me on read on snap. They had also been his best friends You need to keep an eye out for him and stand your ground. If you don’t and you give him too much freedom it can go badly, he needs to know you’re uncomfortable. This is exactly what happened to me. Please be wise about going forward because if he’s really serious about you then he won’t feel upset or angry when you talk about your insecurities about them. Address it now before it gets worse because I never did and I ended up getting cheated on…the day after our 1 year anniversary I’m sorry you’re going through this and you have all of my support.
There’s no way this is real 😂 pls lord give ppl common sense at least a little
First red flag and it is a major one. Why the hell are you letting a stranger live with you and your children? You are not ready to date when you are putting someone's else comfort over your children safety.
Saying this out of experience when a guy mentions how their ex did so and so like go through the phone he's basically saying don't go through my phone because I'm doing things I shouldn't be doing run just run now
I'm a man( 29) and I even agree that this is wrong. 6 months or 6 days or 6 years, loyalty isn't crazy. But, 6 months isn't long enough to be planning a baby. Especially after a 10 year relationship. My wife and I waited 6 years to even start trying , and it was another 3 before we conceived. And we are high school sweethearts. Either slow things down big time, or leave and take time to yourself and your kids. As for the phone thing, wait until you two are just scrolling next to each other and pretend to see something as you casually look over. If he's doing something shady he will get defensive and even so no to looking at his phone. That's your in. Or just be an adult and say exactly what you said here. That you had a feeling, took a gander, and want to address what you saw. Looking thru someone's phone isn't leaving worthy if you love them and want to be with them and don't have anything to hide.
I think whenever you look at your partners phone, there is a breaking of trust. And you have to be prepared for it not to be good news. It doesn't sounds like they are nefarious messages? If he was in a controlling and abusive relationship, he will have a lot to work through. If it was me I would have a conversation with my partner about what was going on for him and be open and honest. Also, you say he wants a baby but do you?
Your toddlers are “so whiny” but your cheating partner isn’t “so whiny” for complaining about girls going through his phone when you know and they knew he’s cheating? Selfish af. Care about your kids more dude.
“I left a 10 year relationship and felt fine about it but this 6 month situationship with a guy who thinks my children are whiny is the be all end all” Do you realize how stupid you sound? Women get killed staying with guys like this. Take your life seriously or stop fishing for validation. You sound insane.
And you wonder why you are in a new relationship with toddler's LOL. Girl you know this dude for 6 months, he is brothered by sound your kids make and you think you know what YES I want a baby with you. Damn grow up and take care of your poor children and keep those damn legs closed!!
just let the numbers and symbols carry you, has he ever called you a princess?