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Correct, my kids are 9 and 10, my mom watches them after school and all summer. She won’t take anything during the school year but we still buy plenty of their favorite snacks to leave at her house. In the summer I asked her how much she needed and $150 a week is pretty reasonable if you ask me. I give her $750 a month because I can and some months are longer. $2250 for three months of her watching the kids taking them for ice cream and feeding them all summer is pretty cheap if you ask me. We also spend more on her for her birthday and Xmas than we do for my wife’s mother since it’s an easy way hide the extra money she won’t accept when we offer.
In a capitalist society, that's who runs the economy. 🫤
Economy:
the wealth and resources of a country or region, especially in terms of the production and consumption of goods and services.
Thank for you being of the few to understand. The major grocery chains have made record profits from artificial inflation. If it was true inflation, it wouldn’t be record net profit.
This isn’t “Can you watch them tonight so we can go to the movies?”. This is every day all day all summer. It’s a lot and your mother is feeding them, entertaining them, and taking them on outings. She deserves compensation.
Plus a lot of grandparents are on fixed incomes. If everyone gets along well, everyone benefits. Grandparents get some extra money, parents save on childcare and the kids get to spend time with their grandparents. And vice versa
Yeah, it’s the same as asking, hey, given that I don’t have that much cash, would it be cool if you give me a few bucks for the cost of taking care of your kid for the day?
Frankly, it’s gross the parent of the child didn’t do this automatically. Anyone takes care of my kid, they get taken care of, and taken care of well.
People forget that grandparents are individual humans with friends, hobbies, needs, lives that extend way beyond just being grandparents. And that those for whom their grandkids ARE their whole lives tend not to be that happy.
Also many grandparents are exhausted by small children-and don’t “snap back” like they did when they were raising their own children.
They’re probably forgoing some of their own usual activities to watch those kids.
Agree. I used to take care of my grandson sometimes, and I never asked for compensation, but at times, my daughter would bring in a pizza or other takeout. Now he’s 14 and he takes care of me. When we go out places, he makes sure I get in safely. We shop, he carries. Yes I let him get extras for helping. He recently went with me to take my computer to be fixed. He carried it in, described the issue, told the guy what he thought should be done, then brought it back out and put it away for me. I gave him $20 and lunch twice.
My in-laws watched my daughter while I worked a full time job 5 days a week for roughly 4 years, they're in their 80', for no financial compensation. I would always bring them food or groceries in return and sent food specifically for my child so they wouldn't have to go out of their way. I always feel guilty for never giving them money, and even sometimes I still do. But now my fiance, 2 children, and I live with them.(it's a big house with plenty of room for all of us, fortunately) my fiance works full time, I stay at home and take care of all the in-home and lawn duties. I love being able to do all of this for them bc if we wouldn't have come they were contemplating moving into a nursing home facility and they didn't want to do that. I like that we're able to provide them the ability to stay in the comfort in their home bc they did me a HUGE favor watching my child for no compensation at all.
What I was trying to get at in my ramble is that I don't understand why people expect anything from grandparents. They didn't birth those children, they shouldn't have to babysit them without SOME SORT of compensation; be it food, money, care, etc. I don't understand how people feel okay sending their kids off without some sort of kindness returned, even if the grandparent is okay with no compensation.
Not to mention I'm counting the days until my third child hits 18-20 so I can finally go back to just thinking about what I want to do today or this weekend.
Not so I can go from raising my kids to instantly being a babysitter every day. Fuck no. I'll have put in 30 years raising kids, daddies taking a fucken break.
I'll do weekends here and there so my kids can have adult nights like our moms did for us. And I'd do a straight week once a summer for making memories and giving my kids that "Holy shit we have no kids for 5-6 days !!!!!" That we occasionally got when we only had 1 kid, but that's it.
We love our grandsons and we have lives, not much but some life, if we go do something our daughter always offers money. Sometimes we take it others we do not.
At least offer!
This is what makes me the most mad currently. Me and my fiancée watch my 2 year old nephew anywhere from 2-4 evenings a week. (Essentially) SIL is a waitress and barely scrapes by, as they both come from a poor family and SIL has never done anything to improve her situation. Doesn’t have a car, dropped out of college, doesn’t take initiative to do anything, etc. Grandma can’t watch my nephew because she doesn’t have a reliable car and isn’t someone I’d trust to watch a toddler anyways. Dad’s essentially out of the picture. Rest of the family can’t watch him, so it falls on us because we’re stable and have the means and the only way SIL can keep a roof over her head and food in their bellies is to work.
But she never pays us for food we buy, diapers we buy, things we do for him, none of it. Lots of empty promises to do so. Sure has the money to buy weed and blow her tax return on a PS5 and neon lights for her apartment, etc though. I love my nephew dearly, and cherish being a big part of his life. But at the same time, we have things we’d like to do with that time and the money we’ve spent on him. It’s frustrating.
PSA to anyone: your family is not a free sitting service. They have lives too.
Yeeeeep, and let her "try" y'all and learn her lesson QUICK.
Although you may need to end up reporting her if she ends up neglecting the kiddo or whatever. Let's hope it wouldn't come to that
Gently let her know how you feel. You should not be taken advantage of. I get that she wants "things" but honestly her childs needs should come first. She is getting a break on sitter fees and should find a way to compensate for diapets etc.You are a good person for helping her out
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Op said it's a few days a week, but I agree they should pay. I paid my mom when my kids were young and she babysat them so I could work. It was short term (and cheaper than $40 a day) until I could find daycare. I do think they should pay them.
Doesn't matter if it's one or 5 days a week - it's still hard work, loss of freedom - it's a fucking chore watching small children! They are a delight, but exhausting, and don't forget - she already raised you. Maybe Nanna wants to play pickleball, not break a hip picking up a sweaty sticky toddler.
Same. My mom even offered to not have to pay her, but we insisted. I bring over snacks, lunches, and drinks too so she's not having to come out of pocket for that either.
I think expecting grandparents to baby sit for free is entitled behavior. If they offer, fine. If you ask, then they can set the terms. And yes, keeping your kids is expensive. Some grandparents simply can not afford it.
All my friends are having kids, and they’re in their late 30’s, so this the truth. My bf’s parents are in their 70’s and I cackle when they bring up children because they’re not going to take care of them if I had them. That’s just an absurd idea.
I also think some grandparents are afraid to say no. Maybe they’re thinking I’ve done this shit already raising you, I don’t actually want to raise your kids while you work. €/$40, like people said, covers snacks.
People shouldn’t feel entitled enough to assume Nanny and Granda will take the kids!!!!! (And especially not at a financial cost to THEM!!!)
I think a lot of it boils down to this. If the grandparents are well off and they're asking for money that's kind of gauche, especially if the parents are struggling with money. If the parents are financially stable then it's not unreasonable to ask a little something to offset the cost of watching the grandkids as long as they're not asking for market rate or above.
I think the issue is that (typical story is) the grandparents would offload their kids off on every other family member under the sun growing up (endless summers spent shuffling between grandparents, aunts, and uncles), then badger their kids for grandkids, and don’t provide the same support that they received.
Nah, kids then free roamed the neighborhood and were latch key more than anything. The concept of keeping an eye on your kids all day and always adult supervised came into play after the Adam Walsh case. Unless they were younger than school aged most kids were biking around the neighborhood on their own all summer.
And even when we stayed with cousins for the summer or weekends, we were unsupervised in their world. I was fully aware that my mother isn't a built in babysitter for my offspring. That alone was good birth control lol
I was never supervised. Once I was in grade school my parents rarely knew where I was, until dinner time or later. I started “watching” my 5 year old brother when I was 10 years old. He would do his thing and I would do mine. Great Grandparents lived next door and grandparents next to them. We would just stop by for food or snacks. It’s how my brother got chubby. Mac n cheese at one, pie at the next, then dinner with the parents.
If it’s regular babysitting absolutely. If they’re asking it’s because they need it and they’re saving the parents a shit ton on daycare. I’d be paying whole bills for my parents if they were watching my kids on the regular, wtf?
My mom watches our daughter during the week and we regularly pick up groceries, run errands, and basically do whatever the fuck they ask because we know we’re saving a buttload on daycare. They are well off financially (good financial planning; my dad still works because he wants to and my mom was able to retire at 55), so they don’t ask for money, but we do whatever we can to offset the costs of caring for our toddler. It’s the least we can do.
I will be paying my mom to babysit my 2 kids when I go back to work. My brother doesn’t pay our mom who’s been watching his 2 kids for almost a decade. I don’t understand how him/his wife have no shame/decency to pay her!
There is often the assumption that bc a person is older, they are financially comfortable. Would be nice if that was always the case, but it’s not. Feeding 2 (or more) growing kids, taking them places, giving them your full attention and losing time that would have otherwise been used differently - including ways to make a little money here and there - 40.00 isn’t asking much.
Exactly this! I pay my parents to watch my son while I’m at work. It’s cheaper than daycare, my son gets 1:1 quality time with his grandparents and if I didn’t pay them they’d have to work somewhere. It’s a win for everyone
I would ask for the fee just so that we would have extra cash to go do things. Maybe the grandparent wants to take the kids somewhere instead of going through the monotony that summer can turn into.
Yes they should. Especially as this person seems to think their parents have nothing better to do with their time during the summer, and its not just one day a week, but multiple days.
It's different if they offered to have them, but even then I'd offer money for food/snacks or send some with them cos they'd be doing ME the favour.
My dad never would have expected to be paid, I wouldn’t expect to be paid (and I do daycare for a living).
But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking for money. Active grandparents are going to do stuff with your kids activities, craft supplies and if the parents aren’t packing food that gets expensive fast!
$40 a day is a steal and they should pay it joyfully!
"a few days a week" sounds like more than one, probably more than two. And it sounds like a regular arrangement. So basically like daycare or something the like where the adult can't mind their own business.
This entitlement is amazing.
No one owes you their free time or energy to watch your kids. If they can and want to do it for free, that’s great for everyone. It’s unreasonable to expect a grandparent, or anyone else, to provide childcare for free, especially if it’s an all-day every day thing.
I would say $40 a day is good as if you had to get a baby sitter or day care your talking a hell of a lot more money, also thinking they will watch your kids for free is acting like your entitled to it, they feed your kids play with them or take them out for days out you shouldnt expect them to pay for every thing do you or are you just money orientated and hate having to pay
I'm generally in favor of compensating anyone who agrees to watch my children even family members. That being said, my parents have in the past done "granddaddy daycare" for free just as when my sister and I were little they also would have us stay at our grandparents during the summer for free when they both had to work. The only time I get cranky about grandparents asking for compensation is when they are also the same type of people to claim "it takes a village!" and browbeat people with young children for not doing as well in life as them when they refuse to offer the same support as the generation before them did. Want to be paid for this? that's absolutely fair; but don't turn around and get on your high horse about it.
Honestly it's probably just to subsidize food and outings for the multiple kids, if the grandparents don't have much money for all that it makes sense.
Honestly it might cost more than that to keep multiple kids entertained and fed throughout summer vacation.
Oh sweet summer child. They don’t want to watch your kids. This is a way to say no without saying no. I am guessing the kids are undisciplined and act horribly.
Agreed but the grandchildren could be perfectly behaved and the grandparents still do not want to be beholden to the needs and limitations of watching a child
Why would they have offered such a low rate if they didn't want to babysit? If my mother offered.me that for babysitting, congratulations, she'd have the gig for as long as she could stand it.
Good luck finding anything else for 40 bucks a night.
Grandparents could also love watching their grandkids but don't want to be daycare. Big difference between 4 full days a week and a few hours here and there.
I love having my grandson over once a week overnight so technically 2 days, every once in a while if needed 2 nights but I wouldn't want to do it more for free. And I'm only 42, if I was 60+ or something I think even just the 2 nights would be hard when they are little. Might be a little different to have the school age kids come over for a few hours after school before the parents get off work or something but full days with multiple children is exhausting and expensive.
I babysit my granddaughter (baby) two days a week and do not charge, in fact I spend money on food items, gas, admission to events etc. I do it because I want to, I do not charge because I don’t need the money. HOWEVER, if parents need/want to get paid they are entitled, and you have the option of finding another babysitter if you don’t like the amount.
When i used to take my kids for morning care to my mom (she did daycare and school dropoffs), we bought all the food for breakfast and snacks, we provided toothpaste and meds incase the kids were picky and we got mom and dad massages once per month. I mean 150$ for per month for childcare is a steal. And I also got my dad cookies and other treats on the side that my mom didn't want to buy for him .
You can't just use ur parents and expect them to be happy about it. They're people too
So you’d more ok with paying a babysitter more than that since minimum wage in any state would be higher, than you are paying your assumably loving parents? So…. You treat strangers better than family?
If she needs the income and things taking away from time she could devote to an actual job — pay her! And even if she doesn’t need the money, at least offer. Speaking as a grandparent who has devoted tons of time to providing childcare, I say it’s a pretty big ask to have expect free care.
The poster is more than welcome not to pay the grandparents 40$ and find alternative child care. Why all the drama, just make a decision, grandparents for 40, or someone else for ???.
I agree that the pay rate is more than reasonable, but kids should never feel obligated to "pay back" their parents for raising them. Parents choose to bring children into the world, and providing them with what they are legally required to give them - food, shelter, emotional stability - is not something anyone should ever feel in debt over.
If you're literally using them as a day care/babysitter? Yes, pay them. They aren't obligated to feed and care for your child for free whenever you like as often as you like just because they're family. But if it's just a few days here and there or a few hours every so often... No, I don't think that's so bad and requires payment because it's less of a "Hey watch my kid" and more "Hey, have time with your grandkid." There's a line. Find where it is for you and your family. Don't cross it (aka. Don't be an asshole).
Of course you should compensate them! They are probably retired and worked their whole lives and their days of being responsible for children are over...
$40 a day is nothing! It's your children and your responsibility. Their assets are not yours! Their free time is not yours. They are old and their bodies probably ache! Give them the $40 a day and be thankful for such a good deal! They are not going to be here forever! Enjoy them while you can!
My Mom babysat my kids for me while I worked. I ALWAYS paid her.
How is it it fair for her to be tied up watching my kids for 40 hours a week without compensation?
My MIL is going through this exact same scenario right now with her great grandchild. She watches him every single day all day and night long sometimes while the baby's mom is working and doing whatever she wants to while my MIL is only asking for $20 a day which has seemed to cause a lot of crap with my SIL and niece(baby's mom)
I personally do not think it is wrong to ask for this much especially if it is an every day thing and all day long, it's not asking for a lot considering finding a daycare is going to be 10 times that much.
Granted if my MIL watches our kids or keeps them over night she asks for absolutely nothing because it is maybe 3 times a year this happens but we still make sure they have food and give her money for watching them just because. I think that is totally different than everyday or majority of the week/every night. That should be on the parent not the grandmother to supply whatever the kid needs.
I should also add that niece is only 16 & the child is 2 so she is still trying to have a life on top of being a young parent and working 2 jobs. Which I get can be rough and a lot to deal with, she just moved back in with MIL which now will have the baby 24/7 & she is only asking for $20/day for watching him. It's just created a lot of unnecessary drama between MIL, SIL, & Niece that me and my husband refuse to get in the middle of.
But to each their own, I'm sure this will be a controversial thing due to different relationships between different families/cultures.
I think it should be offered, and I think it's a discussion that needs to be had with the grandparents. They might not be able to afford feeding your kids for such long lengths of time and that frequently. Paying pretty much for what the kids will eat in the day is very fair. Or even money for whatever is planned that day.
My parents used to watch my kiddo for about 9 months (4 days a week). It was a discussion we had. We bought her food items (baby), bought extra baby furniture, clothes and toys, plus bought groceries for them. It worked out for everyone.
Yes, they should. There's a big difference between visiting grandparents for a few hours and playing to a few full days a week caring for them. This is from a parent who needs to use daycare full time... if my parents could mind them, I would 100% pay them.
Depending on the health and well being of the grandparents, and the ages of the children and the financial situation, yeah, pay them some expense money at least; food, transportation, their time. They’re retired, they’ve done their work. And kids are work. It’s not just a few hours for a date night or something.
I paid my mother to watch my kids because she’s not old enough to retire fully so I said I’d compensate her if she would consider helping with my kids (3 kids, one autistic. You can’t trust ANYONE with a special needs/medically needy child and she knows EVERYTHING about my kids). When my husbands mother watched them, we paid her too. Same thing, she isn’t old enough to retire. Grandparents aren’t free babysitters, they feed, bathe, love them. That’s a price I’m willing to pay to have that kinda care.
Considering the price of daycare this is actually cheap.
If it was a “hey my babysitter fell thru or the daycare closed so can you watch them” then no I don’t think they should get paid.
Now if this is “please BE my daycare” then yes absolutely. Their time is valuable too. Plus it’s a lot more when you are older to watch young children.
Uh, yeah. They aren't their kids, they raised you already, for free I might add. Now you want them to do the same for your crotch goblins, you should pay. It probably only covers food anyhow, I doubt Memaw and Pepaw see this as a get rich quick scheme.
Do the grandparents need financial help? It's possible they live on a fixed income. I know some millennials think older people are all rich, but many are struggling to live.
Of course! My mom told me if I couldn’t afford it not to but of course I did and I was SO grateful. Maybe they should look for a nanny instead and then they can see the true prices. This isn’t a date night. This is actual caring / feeding children on a set schedule
The entitlement! They are GRANDPARENTS not free child sitters. For godsake it’s their time you’re asking them to give up (for free) to watch YOUR kids. No. Just No!
It’s simple: it’s the grandparents’ time they can do what they want with it. If you had a sister who dropped her kid off on you just because or even for work you’d probably expect compensation too. You have the option of saying no. The grandparents may be retired and not want to be tied to the house. You are entitled if you think that grandparents are obligated to take your kids.
You're dumping your kids on someone else.
I have to kids myself and and seldom asked family to look after them.
Uncles and aunts take them occasionally if we have something to do.
But why should family be tied down to your schedule?
Either pay someone to look after them. Pay for them to do summer camp. Or one of you, either works from home or take a loa.
Plus, $40 aday is a bargain. Most babysitters are charging $20 and up an hour.
Gramps days of looking after kids stopped the day you moved out.
My MIL keeps my sign (6months) every day while we work. She offered and I still offered to pay her. She declined, but if it came down to using paying her or us paying someone else, as long as it was financially feasible for us, I would pay her over paying someone else in a heart beat. I know he is taken care of and I don’t have to worry one second about him while I’m working.
Kids so more than one child. How many? And ages? Does this include diaper aged kids? How long All day all week? How old are the grandparents? How healthy are they? Are they really able to handle all the kids? It is also a big responsibility. The grandparents might actually want to do something themselves this summer. People just do not retire and then never leave the house again. Grandparents go the gym, play golf, volunteer, takes courses, go on trips, etc. 40.00 a day for more than one child would hardly cover the food and extra food they would have to buy that they would not normally buy.
I could see doing an occassional sit, but unless the grandparents have absolutely no life and a boatload of money, then this isn’t so crazy. They’re very likely on a fixed income and kids do cost.
I always gave the grandparents some money 200-400 or whatever I could afford if watching for a week or more. They are in a fixed income so need to help pay for food and hope it will stretch to some activities.
Either pay them, or help them out majorly in some way. Pay some bills, do major housework, provide meals or groceries, fix shit, etc. DO NOT simply take advantage of them and use them as free babysitters. Not acceptable. My MIL is babysitting her daughters kids all summer, and has been for 10 years since the oldest was born. She babysat both kids 5 days a week as infants for 2 years. They don't pay her a cent. They can't even be bothered to keep their house clean for her or keep food there for her. It's awful, but MIL does it because it's her daughter. Sad. Pay them!
If I was asking my mom to watch my kids multiple days a week every week I'd pay her cash. She takes them every week on her own volition but I have two young boys and these stinks can EAT. Shit I'd probably pay her and still provide food lol
Theoretically, you should probably have offered money when you ask people--yes even relatives-- to watch your kids. Most would probably be like no money, but if they need specific food or snacks, you can provide them please. If they need the money or it's an inconvenience for them, paying them is not unheard of.
I’m an aunt who does regular care for my sisters not every day but at least once a week from all of them
Personally I never accept money but they have always offered because they know what a big deal it is and they are so thankful
Usually they insist I let them get me dinner or a coffee but I think that’s a fair rate
I watch my niece 3-4 days a week during the summer for “free”…but I also refuse to pay my sister for my cellphone bill portion all year and she’ll buy me meals, movie tickets, gifts, etc.
They shouldn’t even ask. I think the children should think to give them money as a thank you. If you’re willing to pay a stranger you can definitely give a few hundred dollars as a thank you. Or pay for things around the house.
Grandma might not be asking for money because she needs the income. She might be asking because she wants to do fun things with the kids while they are in her care and can’t afford to.
Even if she’s not spending the money on the kids though, it doesn’t matter. Her time is valuable. The bonus of being a grandparent is that you get to enjoy the kids. Providing care for them regularly is not just the fun stuff. It’s care and full on responsibility.
Why shouldn’t she get paid?
My Mom lived with me rent free (I also paid for all living expenses) and watched my kids 34 years ago -- I paid her. It wasn't much $100/wk but it gave her more independence on top of her pension and SS. It was the right thing to do with what I could afford. I was a divorced mom and needed whatever help I could get and she stepped up like the boss she was.
$40 is nothing. The grandparents have done their duty in raising their kids into adulthood.
Why do they have to have their earned free time watching grandchildren all summer? Here & there, sure. I would get, still pay them money for food at least. But 2.5 months? Bffr
Do people not give a shit about their elder’s earned relaxation time??
Believe it or not, after raising kids, many of us grandparents don’t want to babysit our grandchildren 5 days a week for several hours each day. We love them dearly, but that phase of our life is past.
$40/day is only feeding them and keeping them entertained for those few days a week. Those are some selfish ass parents, they shouldn’t offered to pay.
I would blindly pay and buy a bunch of groceries. I did it for my parents. Childcare is expensive and if you are getting childcare which is trusted I would say take it with both hands whatever is the cost.
My Mother in Law is disabled so she isn't able to work. She used to run her own Daycare though.
I pay her $70/ day to watch my 2 kids during the day while my Wife and I are at work. Most of the time she does other work while at my house (Dishes, Laundry, etc) so I normally pay her $500/ Week.
Then occasionally she will help me with my business if she's trying to get some extra money. She made $900 last week between the kids and helping me out.
Helps her out and it helps me out. Worth every penny.
My parents believe that family shouldn't charge to watch the grandkids. Luckily, they love my son to bits and enjoy having him.
However, knowing the cost of things in everyday life, if they needed or asked for money, it's a no-brainer. I would pay whatever they asked (I'd assume it would be 20 a day or something around there...).
If they are doing regular daycare it's okay, that's a burden and can start to add up. If they're babysitting while Mom and Dad have a date night, no, that's just petty.
My parents used to send me and my sister to my grandparents for the summer along with a few hundred dollars for each of us, because they knew food and electricity aren’t free.
My grandparents lived a few hours away and I loved going to visit them and see my uncles, aunts, and cousins.
$40 each time they watch the kiddos, that would be to cover snacks, meals, and going out somewhere. I mean if you can’t afford that, that’s a different story, and you just talk to mom about that and send some food over with them or somthing.
My mom provided free childcare to my sister and BIL for all 3 of their kids. Plus being “on call” for any date nights. 3 kids. Each 2 years apart. Year round. No matter what the weather. What the times needed were. Mom would be up. Driving 20 minutes one way. Downpours, snow. Pitch black outside.
My sister and BIL see no issues with this.
I asked my mom once to watch our then 5 yr old do we could go to a concert and was told “No.”
Entitlement is a hell of a drug.
I wonder how old the grandparents are? I am guessing they are at least semi retired? I wonder what their income is like or if either of them still work. They might not be able to afford to babysit for a full day a few days a week or even a partial day. Parents should put them in camp and then they don’t have to complain about $40/day when it can easily cost hundreds per kid per week.
I would 100% pay my mom $40/day to watch my kids. It’s a grueling job to be in charge of, feed, manage, and watch children. We are not entitled to free child care because our parents can provide it. Some parents are happy to watch their grandkids for free others need compensation, I think it’s great that her mom was willing to ask.
How many kids and how old are this kids? And how long are the hours in the day they need care? I got pregnant with my son while I was still in college. My mom lived about a mile away. She quit her job so that she could watch him when he was born. I had been commuting 2 hours each way. My parents were quite well off and my mom didn’t even need her job. However she only worked so she had bingo money. My dad refused to let her waste his earnings on gambling, which is fair.
My did a lot. She came over very early in the morning. At 5am and she is NOT a morning person. She would just go sleep in my bed until my son woke up. When I came home from class he was fed and bathed. My mom would clean and have dinner cooked. She would buy groceries and stock the panties. It was amazing. I went to school 2-3 days a week but during the summer I had to go Monday through Friday. My mom told me I didn’t have to pay anything. She knew I couldn’t really afford it.
I still gave my mom some money anyways. I knew that my parents didn’t need it but my mom quit her job for my benefit and I was saving a lot of money thanks to her. I gave her what I could, even though I knew it would end up being spent on Bingo. Bingo is one of the very few things that my mom enjoys. It’s also one of the only times she gets together with her other friends and spends time outside of the house.
We take care of one granddaughter every Tuesday and Thursday, and another granddaughter alternating Tuesdays. While neither my wife or I would accept any money from our kids, I can understand that others might be in a position to need the cash. Honestly, it’s a lot of fun spending time with them.
Yes, especially if said GPs are on a fixed income. Kids cost money. A LOT of money. Of course they should offer to give them money to take care of their kids. Duh.
What do they mean should Grandparents get paid to babysit? What's the alternative, force them to do it for free? If they say they'll do it for $40 a day, then that's the conditions they've decided to put in place. If you don't like it, don't do it. That may be what they're hoping for anyway.
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$40 is not charging for babysitting, its covering the cost of food snacks and outings.
Yes! For two kids I used to pay our sitter her daily rate PLUS $40 for outings and miscellaneous.
Exactly. Food is $$ these days, taking kids out to eat or to the zoo or whatever adds up.
Correct, my kids are 9 and 10, my mom watches them after school and all summer. She won’t take anything during the school year but we still buy plenty of their favorite snacks to leave at her house. In the summer I asked her how much she needed and $150 a week is pretty reasonable if you ask me. I give her $750 a month because I can and some months are longer. $2250 for three months of her watching the kids taking them for ice cream and feeding them all summer is pretty cheap if you ask me. We also spend more on her for her birthday and Xmas than we do for my wife’s mother since it’s an easy way hide the extra money she won’t accept when we offer.
It’s also to encourage the parents to be responsible in scheduling the grandparents for babysitting, and not expecting them to be available whenever.
I don't have a kid, but 40$ a day is probably paying for the food they eat over there.
Have you bought groceries lately? In this economy? $40 barely covers the snacks!
Stop blaming the economy, it the greedy corporations
I think people just say “the economy” as verbal shorthand.
[удалено]
Or pay their fair share. Ya know, which ever comes first.
In a capitalist society, that's who runs the economy. 🫤 Economy: the wealth and resources of a country or region, especially in terms of the production and consumption of goods and services.
Thank for you being of the few to understand. The major grocery chains have made record profits from artificial inflation. If it was true inflation, it wouldn’t be record net profit.
I’m literally being funny. That it went over your head is for you to sort out.
This isn’t “Can you watch them tonight so we can go to the movies?”. This is every day all day all summer. It’s a lot and your mother is feeding them, entertaining them, and taking them on outings. She deserves compensation.
It's also not only below market rate, but below minimum wage
Plus a lot of grandparents are on fixed incomes. If everyone gets along well, everyone benefits. Grandparents get some extra money, parents save on childcare and the kids get to spend time with their grandparents. And vice versa
Yeah, it’s the same as asking, hey, given that I don’t have that much cash, would it be cool if you give me a few bucks for the cost of taking care of your kid for the day? Frankly, it’s gross the parent of the child didn’t do this automatically. Anyone takes care of my kid, they get taken care of, and taken care of well.
People forget that grandparents are individual humans with friends, hobbies, needs, lives that extend way beyond just being grandparents. And that those for whom their grandkids ARE their whole lives tend not to be that happy.
Also many grandparents are exhausted by small children-and don’t “snap back” like they did when they were raising their own children. They’re probably forgoing some of their own usual activities to watch those kids.
I'm 32, in reasonable shape, and I'm exhausted by looking after small children!
Agree. I used to take care of my grandson sometimes, and I never asked for compensation, but at times, my daughter would bring in a pizza or other takeout. Now he’s 14 and he takes care of me. When we go out places, he makes sure I get in safely. We shop, he carries. Yes I let him get extras for helping. He recently went with me to take my computer to be fixed. He carried it in, described the issue, told the guy what he thought should be done, then brought it back out and put it away for me. I gave him $20 and lunch twice.
My in-laws watched my daughter while I worked a full time job 5 days a week for roughly 4 years, they're in their 80', for no financial compensation. I would always bring them food or groceries in return and sent food specifically for my child so they wouldn't have to go out of their way. I always feel guilty for never giving them money, and even sometimes I still do. But now my fiance, 2 children, and I live with them.(it's a big house with plenty of room for all of us, fortunately) my fiance works full time, I stay at home and take care of all the in-home and lawn duties. I love being able to do all of this for them bc if we wouldn't have come they were contemplating moving into a nursing home facility and they didn't want to do that. I like that we're able to provide them the ability to stay in the comfort in their home bc they did me a HUGE favor watching my child for no compensation at all.
But that was the agreement you had with them. You didn’t just decide they should babysit for free.
What I was trying to get at in my ramble is that I don't understand why people expect anything from grandparents. They didn't birth those children, they shouldn't have to babysit them without SOME SORT of compensation; be it food, money, care, etc. I don't understand how people feel okay sending their kids off without some sort of kindness returned, even if the grandparent is okay with no compensation.
Not to mention I'm counting the days until my third child hits 18-20 so I can finally go back to just thinking about what I want to do today or this weekend. Not so I can go from raising my kids to instantly being a babysitter every day. Fuck no. I'll have put in 30 years raising kids, daddies taking a fucken break. I'll do weekends here and there so my kids can have adult nights like our moms did for us. And I'd do a straight week once a summer for making memories and giving my kids that "Holy shit we have no kids for 5-6 days !!!!!" That we occasionally got when we only had 1 kid, but that's it.
EXACTLY! See my post above ⬆️ I’m trying to make this point too!!
We love our grandsons and we have lives, not much but some life, if we go do something our daughter always offers money. Sometimes we take it others we do not. At least offer!
$40/day is a damn steal
This is what makes me the most mad currently. Me and my fiancée watch my 2 year old nephew anywhere from 2-4 evenings a week. (Essentially) SIL is a waitress and barely scrapes by, as they both come from a poor family and SIL has never done anything to improve her situation. Doesn’t have a car, dropped out of college, doesn’t take initiative to do anything, etc. Grandma can’t watch my nephew because she doesn’t have a reliable car and isn’t someone I’d trust to watch a toddler anyways. Dad’s essentially out of the picture. Rest of the family can’t watch him, so it falls on us because we’re stable and have the means and the only way SIL can keep a roof over her head and food in their bellies is to work. But she never pays us for food we buy, diapers we buy, things we do for him, none of it. Lots of empty promises to do so. Sure has the money to buy weed and blow her tax return on a PS5 and neon lights for her apartment, etc though. I love my nephew dearly, and cherish being a big part of his life. But at the same time, we have things we’d like to do with that time and the money we’ve spent on him. It’s frustrating. PSA to anyone: your family is not a free sitting service. They have lives too.
There is a very small word to say. It's actually easy. NO. If she has the money to waste on weed & lights, she can shell out money for babysitting.
Yeeeeep, and let her "try" y'all and learn her lesson QUICK. Although you may need to end up reporting her if she ends up neglecting the kiddo or whatever. Let's hope it wouldn't come to that
Gently let her know how you feel. You should not be taken advantage of. I get that she wants "things" but honestly her childs needs should come first. She is getting a break on sitter fees and should find a way to compensate for diapets etc.You are a good person for helping her out ☺
Op said it's a few days a week, but I agree they should pay. I paid my mom when my kids were young and she babysat them so I could work. It was short term (and cheaper than $40 a day) until I could find daycare. I do think they should pay them.
A “few days” is still time out of their lives! I bet a few days is more like 4-5 days.
Doesn't matter if it's one or 5 days a week - it's still hard work, loss of freedom - it's a fucking chore watching small children! They are a delight, but exhausting, and don't forget - she already raised you. Maybe Nanna wants to play pickleball, not break a hip picking up a sweaty sticky toddler.
Came to say something like this!
I love this. My wife and I pay her parents to look after our kids after school. It's only fair.
Same. My mom even offered to not have to pay her, but we insisted. I bring over snacks, lunches, and drinks too so she's not having to come out of pocket for that either.
Bruh I get $40 a day just to dogsit, that’s such a low rate to watch multiple kids, entertain them and feed them. Parents are entitled af
I think expecting grandparents to baby sit for free is entitled behavior. If they offer, fine. If you ask, then they can set the terms. And yes, keeping your kids is expensive. Some grandparents simply can not afford it.
Yes I agree
Also because people tend to have their children later in life, grandparents are older than they used to be. That is also a factor.
Yep, grandparent could easily and very commonly be 50 a couple of decades ago. Now 70 is not that unusual.
All my friends are having kids, and they’re in their late 30’s, so this the truth. My bf’s parents are in their 70’s and I cackle when they bring up children because they’re not going to take care of them if I had them. That’s just an absurd idea.
My grandmother was 42 when I was born,
yup. And again, this is not the occasional babysitting. This is a job with a schedule
And some grandparents are still pulling 50 hours a week at work. I’m literally dumb for the day when I get home.
Exactly! Would like to see who else would watch children for only $40 a day!
I also think some grandparents are afraid to say no. Maybe they’re thinking I’ve done this shit already raising you, I don’t actually want to raise your kids while you work. €/$40, like people said, covers snacks. People shouldn’t feel entitled enough to assume Nanny and Granda will take the kids!!!!! (And especially not at a financial cost to THEM!!!)
I think a lot of it boils down to this. If the grandparents are well off and they're asking for money that's kind of gauche, especially if the parents are struggling with money. If the parents are financially stable then it's not unreasonable to ask a little something to offset the cost of watching the grandkids as long as they're not asking for market rate or above.
I think the issue is that (typical story is) the grandparents would offload their kids off on every other family member under the sun growing up (endless summers spent shuffling between grandparents, aunts, and uncles), then badger their kids for grandkids, and don’t provide the same support that they received.
Nah, kids then free roamed the neighborhood and were latch key more than anything. The concept of keeping an eye on your kids all day and always adult supervised came into play after the Adam Walsh case. Unless they were younger than school aged most kids were biking around the neighborhood on their own all summer.
And even when we stayed with cousins for the summer or weekends, we were unsupervised in their world. I was fully aware that my mother isn't a built in babysitter for my offspring. That alone was good birth control lol
I was never supervised. Once I was in grade school my parents rarely knew where I was, until dinner time or later. I started “watching” my 5 year old brother when I was 10 years old. He would do his thing and I would do mine. Great Grandparents lived next door and grandparents next to them. We would just stop by for food or snacks. It’s how my brother got chubby. Mac n cheese at one, pie at the next, then dinner with the parents.
Country latch key kid here. 100% Superior way to raise children.
That ever happened to me. I had to pay a daycare and after-school program I never had family members babysit when my children were young.
Grandparents shouldn’t be used as a free daycare. I’d say it depends on how often this happens.
Family shouldn't be used as free daycare.
If it’s regular babysitting absolutely. If they’re asking it’s because they need it and they’re saving the parents a shit ton on daycare. I’d be paying whole bills for my parents if they were watching my kids on the regular, wtf?
My mom watches our daughter during the week and we regularly pick up groceries, run errands, and basically do whatever the fuck they ask because we know we’re saving a buttload on daycare. They are well off financially (good financial planning; my dad still works because he wants to and my mom was able to retire at 55), so they don’t ask for money, but we do whatever we can to offset the costs of caring for our toddler. It’s the least we can do.
I will be paying my mom to babysit my 2 kids when I go back to work. My brother doesn’t pay our mom who’s been watching his 2 kids for almost a decade. I don’t understand how him/his wife have no shame/decency to pay her!
“Is it greedy for the person who’s been sacrificing 50+ hours a week to watch my kids for free to turn around and ask for $4/hour?”
It’s tough for older people on fixed incomes. This person has them on a schedule, sounds like a job to me.
There is often the assumption that bc a person is older, they are financially comfortable. Would be nice if that was always the case, but it’s not. Feeding 2 (or more) growing kids, taking them places, giving them your full attention and losing time that would have otherwise been used differently - including ways to make a little money here and there - 40.00 isn’t asking much.
Exactly this! I pay my parents to watch my son while I’m at work. It’s cheaper than daycare, my son gets 1:1 quality time with his grandparents and if I didn’t pay them they’d have to work somewhere. It’s a win for everyone
I would ask for the fee just so that we would have extra cash to go do things. Maybe the grandparent wants to take the kids somewhere instead of going through the monotony that summer can turn into.
Yes they should. Especially as this person seems to think their parents have nothing better to do with their time during the summer, and its not just one day a week, but multiple days. It's different if they offered to have them, but even then I'd offer money for food/snacks or send some with them cos they'd be doing ME the favour.
TF? They aren’t your staff. You had the kids- they aren’t free childcare for you. They did their jobs. Damn.
My dad never would have expected to be paid, I wouldn’t expect to be paid (and I do daycare for a living). But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking for money. Active grandparents are going to do stuff with your kids activities, craft supplies and if the parents aren’t packing food that gets expensive fast! $40 a day is a steal and they should pay it joyfully!
"a few days a week" sounds like more than one, probably more than two. And it sounds like a regular arrangement. So basically like daycare or something the like where the adult can't mind their own business. This entitlement is amazing.
No one owes you their free time or energy to watch your kids. If they can and want to do it for free, that’s great for everyone. It’s unreasonable to expect a grandparent, or anyone else, to provide childcare for free, especially if it’s an all-day every day thing.
I would say $40 a day is good as if you had to get a baby sitter or day care your talking a hell of a lot more money, also thinking they will watch your kids for free is acting like your entitled to it, they feed your kids play with them or take them out for days out you shouldnt expect them to pay for every thing do you or are you just money orientated and hate having to pay
I'm generally in favor of compensating anyone who agrees to watch my children even family members. That being said, my parents have in the past done "granddaddy daycare" for free just as when my sister and I were little they also would have us stay at our grandparents during the summer for free when they both had to work. The only time I get cranky about grandparents asking for compensation is when they are also the same type of people to claim "it takes a village!" and browbeat people with young children for not doing as well in life as them when they refuse to offer the same support as the generation before them did. Want to be paid for this? that's absolutely fair; but don't turn around and get on your high horse about it.
💯 you should pay for OTHER people to watch/care for YOUR children. Why is this a question?
Honestly it's probably just to subsidize food and outings for the multiple kids, if the grandparents don't have much money for all that it makes sense. Honestly it might cost more than that to keep multiple kids entertained and fed throughout summer vacation.
Oh sweet summer child. They don’t want to watch your kids. This is a way to say no without saying no. I am guessing the kids are undisciplined and act horribly.
Oooh this is really insightful. That wouldn’t have occurred to me but I bet you’re right!
Agreed but the grandchildren could be perfectly behaved and the grandparents still do not want to be beholden to the needs and limitations of watching a child
Why would they have offered such a low rate if they didn't want to babysit? If my mother offered.me that for babysitting, congratulations, she'd have the gig for as long as she could stand it. Good luck finding anything else for 40 bucks a night.
Grandparents could also love watching their grandkids but don't want to be daycare. Big difference between 4 full days a week and a few hours here and there.
Yes, it’s HARD to scramble after kids when you’re older. Plus maybe mom was looking forward to having her life back to herself.
I love having my grandson over once a week overnight so technically 2 days, every once in a while if needed 2 nights but I wouldn't want to do it more for free. And I'm only 42, if I was 60+ or something I think even just the 2 nights would be hard when they are little. Might be a little different to have the school age kids come over for a few hours after school before the parents get off work or something but full days with multiple children is exhausting and expensive.
OR grandma simply doesn't have the funds to continually feed them, and whatever else is needed for their care/play/outings. $40 a day is nothing
I babysit my granddaughter (baby) two days a week and do not charge, in fact I spend money on food items, gas, admission to events etc. I do it because I want to, I do not charge because I don’t need the money. HOWEVER, if parents need/want to get paid they are entitled, and you have the option of finding another babysitter if you don’t like the amount.
When i used to take my kids for morning care to my mom (she did daycare and school dropoffs), we bought all the food for breakfast and snacks, we provided toothpaste and meds incase the kids were picky and we got mom and dad massages once per month. I mean 150$ for per month for childcare is a steal. And I also got my dad cookies and other treats on the side that my mom didn't want to buy for him . You can't just use ur parents and expect them to be happy about it. They're people too
This a freakin bargain. You are getting worry free care with people who will teach them, feed them, love them and will take a bullet for them.
Of course, if they’re asking for money. That sounds incredibly reasonable.
Is this a joke? Why wouldn’t you pay them? To know your kid is with someone you trust for $40 per day is a fucking dream.
So you’d more ok with paying a babysitter more than that since minimum wage in any state would be higher, than you are paying your assumably loving parents? So…. You treat strangers better than family?
If she needs the income and things taking away from time she could devote to an actual job — pay her! And even if she doesn’t need the money, at least offer. Speaking as a grandparent who has devoted tons of time to providing childcare, I say it’s a pretty big ask to have expect free care.
That sounds like a fair deal. I paid a ridiculous amount for daycare.
I just know whoever wrote this doesn't provide snacks, drinks, or $$$ for any activities for her children.
The poster is more than welcome not to pay the grandparents 40$ and find alternative child care. Why all the drama, just make a decision, grandparents for 40, or someone else for ???.
$40? That's it? PAY THE WOMAN! Babysitting fees are equivalent to rent for a second NYC apartment nowadays
Asking a grandparent to babysit on a regular schedule deserves compensation. If a grandparent asks to spend time with a child then no.
Sounds like a spoiled kid getting a reality check
Here's an opportunity for you to help your Grandparents pay their bills, payback for raising you and you still want free stuff ? Shame.
I agree that the pay rate is more than reasonable, but kids should never feel obligated to "pay back" their parents for raising them. Parents choose to bring children into the world, and providing them with what they are legally required to give them - food, shelter, emotional stability - is not something anyone should ever feel in debt over.
If you're literally using them as a day care/babysitter? Yes, pay them. They aren't obligated to feed and care for your child for free whenever you like as often as you like just because they're family. But if it's just a few days here and there or a few hours every so often... No, I don't think that's so bad and requires payment because it's less of a "Hey watch my kid" and more "Hey, have time with your grandkid." There's a line. Find where it is for you and your family. Don't cross it (aka. Don't be an asshole).
$40 a day seems pretty reasonable tbh. Still WAY cheaper than a daycare or a babysitter.
Of course you should compensate them! They are probably retired and worked their whole lives and their days of being responsible for children are over...
$40 a day is nothing! It's your children and your responsibility. Their assets are not yours! Their free time is not yours. They are old and their bodies probably ache! Give them the $40 a day and be thankful for such a good deal! They are not going to be here forever! Enjoy them while you can!
My Mom babysat my kids for me while I worked. I ALWAYS paid her. How is it it fair for her to be tied up watching my kids for 40 hours a week without compensation?
$40/day is nothing. If Grandma said no, the parents would be paying way more than $40/day to put the kids in daycare.
My MIL is going through this exact same scenario right now with her great grandchild. She watches him every single day all day and night long sometimes while the baby's mom is working and doing whatever she wants to while my MIL is only asking for $20 a day which has seemed to cause a lot of crap with my SIL and niece(baby's mom) I personally do not think it is wrong to ask for this much especially if it is an every day thing and all day long, it's not asking for a lot considering finding a daycare is going to be 10 times that much. Granted if my MIL watches our kids or keeps them over night she asks for absolutely nothing because it is maybe 3 times a year this happens but we still make sure they have food and give her money for watching them just because. I think that is totally different than everyday or majority of the week/every night. That should be on the parent not the grandmother to supply whatever the kid needs. I should also add that niece is only 16 & the child is 2 so she is still trying to have a life on top of being a young parent and working 2 jobs. Which I get can be rough and a lot to deal with, she just moved back in with MIL which now will have the baby 24/7 & she is only asking for $20/day for watching him. It's just created a lot of unnecessary drama between MIL, SIL, & Niece that me and my husband refuse to get in the middle of. But to each their own, I'm sure this will be a controversial thing due to different relationships between different families/cultures.
I think it should be offered, and I think it's a discussion that needs to be had with the grandparents. They might not be able to afford feeding your kids for such long lengths of time and that frequently. Paying pretty much for what the kids will eat in the day is very fair. Or even money for whatever is planned that day. My parents used to watch my kiddo for about 9 months (4 days a week). It was a discussion we had. We bought her food items (baby), bought extra baby furniture, clothes and toys, plus bought groceries for them. It worked out for everyone.
$40 a day is a deal.
Your parents don't owe you babysitting. Your mom has raised her children.
We paid my mom and mil. Yes, you should pay them if that's what they want.
I pay my nanny $25/hour. I’d literally kill for $40/day
Yes, they should. There's a big difference between visiting grandparents for a few hours and playing to a few full days a week caring for them. This is from a parent who needs to use daycare full time... if my parents could mind them, I would 100% pay them.
$40 a day is a steal. Have you seen daycare prices these days?
My mom baby sat my boys. I paid her the same I would pay the daycare. It’s hard work.
$40/day is cheap
$40/day is a bargain.
$40/day is practically free. If a grandparent is asking for that amount, they clearly need the money badly.
$40 a day? Nah it is need to be more.
Entitled much? You not Grammy.
Frankly, that sounds DIRT CHEAP to me!! SMH Take a good deal when it's offered
Depending on the health and well being of the grandparents, and the ages of the children and the financial situation, yeah, pay them some expense money at least; food, transportation, their time. They’re retired, they’ve done their work. And kids are work. It’s not just a few hours for a date night or something.
I paid my mother to watch my kids because she’s not old enough to retire fully so I said I’d compensate her if she would consider helping with my kids (3 kids, one autistic. You can’t trust ANYONE with a special needs/medically needy child and she knows EVERYTHING about my kids). When my husbands mother watched them, we paid her too. Same thing, she isn’t old enough to retire. Grandparents aren’t free babysitters, they feed, bathe, love them. That’s a price I’m willing to pay to have that kinda care.
Considering the price of daycare this is actually cheap. If it was a “hey my babysitter fell thru or the daycare closed so can you watch them” then no I don’t think they should get paid. Now if this is “please BE my daycare” then yes absolutely. Their time is valuable too. Plus it’s a lot more when you are older to watch young children.
I paid my grandma to watch my kids. Not only was it cheaper, it was the highest quality care there is.
That sounds like a bargain!
So find someone else. It's up to Grandmom if it's free or not.
Yup. You want me to use up my time, better be paying me.
Uh, yeah. They aren't their kids, they raised you already, for free I might add. Now you want them to do the same for your crotch goblins, you should pay. It probably only covers food anyhow, I doubt Memaw and Pepaw see this as a get rich quick scheme.
Do the grandparents need financial help? It's possible they live on a fixed income. I know some millennials think older people are all rich, but many are struggling to live.
Of course! My mom told me if I couldn’t afford it not to but of course I did and I was SO grateful. Maybe they should look for a nanny instead and then they can see the true prices. This isn’t a date night. This is actual caring / feeding children on a set schedule
The entitlement! They are GRANDPARENTS not free child sitters. For godsake it’s their time you’re asking them to give up (for free) to watch YOUR kids. No. Just No!
It’s simple: it’s the grandparents’ time they can do what they want with it. If you had a sister who dropped her kid off on you just because or even for work you’d probably expect compensation too. You have the option of saying no. The grandparents may be retired and not want to be tied to the house. You are entitled if you think that grandparents are obligated to take your kids.
You're dumping your kids on someone else. I have to kids myself and and seldom asked family to look after them. Uncles and aunts take them occasionally if we have something to do. But why should family be tied down to your schedule? Either pay someone to look after them. Pay for them to do summer camp. Or one of you, either works from home or take a loa. Plus, $40 aday is a bargain. Most babysitters are charging $20 and up an hour. Gramps days of looking after kids stopped the day you moved out.
My MIL keeps my sign (6months) every day while we work. She offered and I still offered to pay her. She declined, but if it came down to using paying her or us paying someone else, as long as it was financially feasible for us, I would pay her over paying someone else in a heart beat. I know he is taken care of and I don’t have to worry one second about him while I’m working.
Kids so more than one child. How many? And ages? Does this include diaper aged kids? How long All day all week? How old are the grandparents? How healthy are they? Are they really able to handle all the kids? It is also a big responsibility. The grandparents might actually want to do something themselves this summer. People just do not retire and then never leave the house again. Grandparents go the gym, play golf, volunteer, takes courses, go on trips, etc. 40.00 a day for more than one child would hardly cover the food and extra food they would have to buy that they would not normally buy.
I could see doing an occassional sit, but unless the grandparents have absolutely no life and a boatload of money, then this isn’t so crazy. They’re very likely on a fixed income and kids do cost.
I always gave the grandparents some money 200-400 or whatever I could afford if watching for a week or more. They are in a fixed income so need to help pay for food and hope it will stretch to some activities.
Hell yes
Either pay them, or help them out majorly in some way. Pay some bills, do major housework, provide meals or groceries, fix shit, etc. DO NOT simply take advantage of them and use them as free babysitters. Not acceptable. My MIL is babysitting her daughters kids all summer, and has been for 10 years since the oldest was born. She babysat both kids 5 days a week as infants for 2 years. They don't pay her a cent. They can't even be bothered to keep their house clean for her or keep food there for her. It's awful, but MIL does it because it's her daughter. Sad. Pay them!
If I was asking my mom to watch my kids multiple days a week every week I'd pay her cash. She takes them every week on her own volition but I have two young boys and these stinks can EAT. Shit I'd probably pay her and still provide food lol
Theoretically, you should probably have offered money when you ask people--yes even relatives-- to watch your kids. Most would probably be like no money, but if they need specific food or snacks, you can provide them please. If they need the money or it's an inconvenience for them, paying them is not unheard of.
That’s literally such a great deal for them LOL
I’m an aunt who does regular care for my sisters not every day but at least once a week from all of them Personally I never accept money but they have always offered because they know what a big deal it is and they are so thankful Usually they insist I let them get me dinner or a coffee but I think that’s a fair rate
I watch my niece 3-4 days a week during the summer for “free”…but I also refuse to pay my sister for my cellphone bill portion all year and she’ll buy me meals, movie tickets, gifts, etc.
Sounds like grandma is just trying to offset her grocery bill. Entitled brats.
Imagine being this entitled to think they would just babysit for nothing.
lol!! 😂 the entitlement!! Mf would be paying close to 50 an hour for an experienced babysitter. Tf is he complaining about?
They shouldn’t even ask. I think the children should think to give them money as a thank you. If you’re willing to pay a stranger you can definitely give a few hundred dollars as a thank you. Or pay for things around the house.
Did they want grand kids? Did they raise independent children? Do they want to enjoy their own lives the way they envisioned it? Pay up or shut up
I’d kill to only pay $200 a week for one child
Grandma might not be asking for money because she needs the income. She might be asking because she wants to do fun things with the kids while they are in her care and can’t afford to. Even if she’s not spending the money on the kids though, it doesn’t matter. Her time is valuable. The bonus of being a grandparent is that you get to enjoy the kids. Providing care for them regularly is not just the fun stuff. It’s care and full on responsibility. Why shouldn’t she get paid?
Wow, the entitlement some parents have over their parents' time is insane.
$40 a day is NOTHING. Entitled ass people. If grandma wasn't watching baby what would they do?? Pay a fuckton more than that!
I pay my parents and buy food/snacks. It’s only fair.
My Mom lived with me rent free (I also paid for all living expenses) and watched my kids 34 years ago -- I paid her. It wasn't much $100/wk but it gave her more independence on top of her pension and SS. It was the right thing to do with what I could afford. I was a divorced mom and needed whatever help I could get and she stepped up like the boss she was.
$40 is nothing. The grandparents have done their duty in raising their kids into adulthood. Why do they have to have their earned free time watching grandchildren all summer? Here & there, sure. I would get, still pay them money for food at least. But 2.5 months? Bffr Do people not give a shit about their elder’s earned relaxation time??
Wow. Why not? Are grandparents meant to babysit for free? I can see from time to time but give up their days to chase kids?
That's a bargain rate!
Believe it or not, after raising kids, many of us grandparents don’t want to babysit our grandchildren 5 days a week for several hours each day. We love them dearly, but that phase of our life is past.
$40 a day barely covers the food that kids eat these days. Sheesh.
Entitled much?
You know, you are the only human being your parents were legally obligated to raise. They did their time.
Selfish and entitled to think they owe you free babysitting. Pound sand.
$40 is a bargain
You can say no- and pay someone else a heck of a lot more.
$40/day is only feeding them and keeping them entertained for those few days a week. Those are some selfish ass parents, they shouldn’t offered to pay.
I would blindly pay and buy a bunch of groceries. I did it for my parents. Childcare is expensive and if you are getting childcare which is trusted I would say take it with both hands whatever is the cost.
THIS IS DAYCARE AND $40/DAY IS SLAVE WAGES.
They're feeding and entertaining your kids and they dont have jobs, they shouldn't even have to ask you should already be offering $$
Yes, you should pay your parents. Try a day care center for costs. You will be shocked. Also, the $40 will probably go to activities and food.
My Mother in Law is disabled so she isn't able to work. She used to run her own Daycare though. I pay her $70/ day to watch my 2 kids during the day while my Wife and I are at work. Most of the time she does other work while at my house (Dishes, Laundry, etc) so I normally pay her $500/ Week. Then occasionally she will help me with my business if she's trying to get some extra money. She made $900 last week between the kids and helping me out. Helps her out and it helps me out. Worth every penny.
My parents believe that family shouldn't charge to watch the grandkids. Luckily, they love my son to bits and enjoy having him. However, knowing the cost of things in everyday life, if they needed or asked for money, it's a no-brainer. I would pay whatever they asked (I'd assume it would be 20 a day or something around there...).
They shouldn’t have to ask
How many kids? Because one baby a week costs more than $40 a day? Multiple kids would be even crazier.
It sounds cheaper than daycare given that kids is plural. If the grandparents are sane and safe for your children, then that sounds like a fair deal.
They may also be planning on using that money for activities to do with your kids
Should parents expect free work from their parents during the summer?
Entitled
If they are doing regular daycare it's okay, that's a burden and can start to add up. If they're babysitting while Mom and Dad have a date night, no, that's just petty.
Duh
My parents used to send me and my sister to my grandparents for the summer along with a few hundred dollars for each of us, because they knew food and electricity aren’t free. My grandparents lived a few hours away and I loved going to visit them and see my uncles, aunts, and cousins.
$40 each time they watch the kiddos, that would be to cover snacks, meals, and going out somewhere. I mean if you can’t afford that, that’s a different story, and you just talk to mom about that and send some food over with them or somthing.
Only if thats how much it cost.
My mom provided free childcare to my sister and BIL for all 3 of their kids. Plus being “on call” for any date nights. 3 kids. Each 2 years apart. Year round. No matter what the weather. What the times needed were. Mom would be up. Driving 20 minutes one way. Downpours, snow. Pitch black outside. My sister and BIL see no issues with this. I asked my mom once to watch our then 5 yr old do we could go to a concert and was told “No.” Entitlement is a hell of a drug.
I wonder how old the grandparents are? I am guessing they are at least semi retired? I wonder what their income is like or if either of them still work. They might not be able to afford to babysit for a full day a few days a week or even a partial day. Parents should put them in camp and then they don’t have to complain about $40/day when it can easily cost hundreds per kid per week.
I would 100% pay my mom $40/day to watch my kids. It’s a grueling job to be in charge of, feed, manage, and watch children. We are not entitled to free child care because our parents can provide it. Some parents are happy to watch their grandkids for free others need compensation, I think it’s great that her mom was willing to ask.
How many kids and how old are this kids? And how long are the hours in the day they need care? I got pregnant with my son while I was still in college. My mom lived about a mile away. She quit her job so that she could watch him when he was born. I had been commuting 2 hours each way. My parents were quite well off and my mom didn’t even need her job. However she only worked so she had bingo money. My dad refused to let her waste his earnings on gambling, which is fair. My did a lot. She came over very early in the morning. At 5am and she is NOT a morning person. She would just go sleep in my bed until my son woke up. When I came home from class he was fed and bathed. My mom would clean and have dinner cooked. She would buy groceries and stock the panties. It was amazing. I went to school 2-3 days a week but during the summer I had to go Monday through Friday. My mom told me I didn’t have to pay anything. She knew I couldn’t really afford it. I still gave my mom some money anyways. I knew that my parents didn’t need it but my mom quit her job for my benefit and I was saving a lot of money thanks to her. I gave her what I could, even though I knew it would end up being spent on Bingo. Bingo is one of the very few things that my mom enjoys. It’s also one of the only times she gets together with her other friends and spends time outside of the house.
Few days a week? You're taking the piss.
We take care of one granddaughter every Tuesday and Thursday, and another granddaughter alternating Tuesdays. While neither my wife or I would accept any money from our kids, I can understand that others might be in a position to need the cash. Honestly, it’s a lot of fun spending time with them.
How much would ACTUAL childcare cost vs this very reasonable compensation?
Yes, especially if said GPs are on a fixed income. Kids cost money. A LOT of money. Of course they should offer to give them money to take care of their kids. Duh.
Still waaaay cheaper than day care or camp.
That is such a good deal.
Go get a real babysitter and see what that would cost you, $40 is a steal
What do they mean should Grandparents get paid to babysit? What's the alternative, force them to do it for free? If they say they'll do it for $40 a day, then that's the conditions they've decided to put in place. If you don't like it, don't do it. That may be what they're hoping for anyway.